This story is a work of fiction. None of the characters are real and any similarities between this story and/or any characters in it and real life is purely coincidental.
THIS STORY CONTAINS GRAPHIC DEPICTIONS OF CONSENSUAL SEXUAL ACTS BETWEEN TEENAGE MALES. IT IS INTENDED FOR A MATURE AUDIENCE ONLY! IF YOU FIND THIS TYPE OF MATERIAL OFFENSIVE, OR IF YOU ARE UNDER 18, OR UNDER THE LEGAL AGE TO VIEW SUCH MATERIAL THEN PLEASE READ NO FURTHER.
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Flying into Orange County is, at least to me, kind of scary. I'm not a weird traveler or scared of flying, but the way the airport is laid out, with the runway basically AT the 405 Freeway, it always seems like we're flying in way too fast and then slamming on the brakes as soon as we land. It's just a little disconcerting. This time, I was asleep when we touched down, still trying to get over my insomnia from the night before, and wasn't wearing my seat belt. I might have, I don't know, fallen out of the seat as soon as the pilot hit the brakes.
And that's all I'll say about that because my family and Lane will be HAPPY to tell you all about it when they see you. Just ask them about the time Rob fell out of his chair on a plane.
At least Neil was mildly worried about me, my mother and Cat just DIED laughing along with Josh and Lane. Henry and Maisy were in their kennels so they didn't see much but I'm certain they too would have joined in the laughter if they'd seen it. Oh, and if they could laugh.
Coming off the plane I was still a little shaky after my wake up collision and Josh had to grab me to keep from falling down the stairs, which made Lane snicker. I didn't appreciate that even a little bit and told them both to fuck off. We walked over to the FBO while the plane was unloaded and I took Henry to take care of business. The damn dog took a HUGE dump on the small patch of grass out front and so I had to politely ask one of the people who worked there if I could have a plastic bag to dispose of the load.
Needless to say, it was very much not my morning.
Neil had a hire car to take him, mother, and Cat to the house since there was a car there. He'd also leased a Tahoe for the two weeks we'd be there so that Josh would have something to drive. Josh, Lane, and I piled into it, which we lovingly named the HomoWagon.
Before we got in the car, Josh had looked at his phone, then run over to Neil. They'd talked for a bit and then Josh had walked back over to us. After he started the truck, I asked what was up and he said he'd told Neil we were going to grab a bite to eat in Tustin before we went to the house.
The drive over to the Marketplace was actually pretty quick and we decided on a brewpub at Josh's suggestion. Once we walked inside though, it was clear what was actually going on. Bruce,his boyfriend Todd, and a bunch of their friends were already there and gave us all a SURPRISE when we walked in. The merriment ended for a just a bit when Josh took off his sunglasses and showed everyone the nice shiner he'd picked up courtesy of Kurt's fist. Julie, who'd known Josh since they were kids, was the most concerned and Bruce was ready to kick someone's ass. Todd just glanced over at me with a questioning look and I just mouthed back 'Kurt'.
Todd had transferred to Laguna at Christmas Break and despite a number of false starts, had finally gotten Bruce's attention. They'd started to seriously date in April and in May Bruce drilled up the courage to tell me about him. Mentally, I knew Bruce was going to date guys and would probably end up with someone. Still, I was torn up about it, since it was around the time I'd really started having problems with Kurt, which we'd talked about.
However, I realized from the way Bruce was talking that he'd fought wanting Todd hard, and it wasn't fair to either of them. But for being separated as we were, we might have been together but I had to remind him that it was MIGHT, not definite. It wasn't about letting me go, I told him, it was about someone there who made him really happy and he had to admit, Todd made him happy. In late June, Todd had been looking up a movie or something on Bruce's computer and decided to snoop a little. He looked at Skype and figured out my name there (which was the ever so imaginative RobHallstrom95). Later than night, he contacted me for the first time and ended up talking until almost five in the morning. I really liked the guy but we both agreed not to tell Bruce we were talking because Todd was terrified it would be weird for him. I told him he was being foolish, but went along with it because it meant so much to him. Neither he nor Bruce knew about everything that had happened over the last month. I didn't know Todd well enough and there were just some things I couldn't share with Bruce over Skype.
Josh told everyone he'd had a little fight the night before, then assured them all that the other guy was in MUCH worse shape. Like not walking.
Todd came over to give me a hug, followed shortly thereafter by Bruce who wrapped his arms around us both. Todd was quite a bit bigger than me, about 6' and probably around 200 solid pounds. Bruce was, well, Bruce and the two of them just seemed to fit. I'd talked to Bruce the week before and made him promise me he wouldn't be weird with Todd around me.
"What do you mean, weird?" he'd asked.
"You know, weird. Like in not touching him or holding him the way you usually would. Just promise me?"
He stared back at me from the screen with his confused look on this face, "Why does it mean so much to you?"
I cleared my throat, "Mostly because you're in love with him and he doesn't deserve to feel like someone else is making you think twice about that. But also because I don't want him hating me for making things awkward. And they shouldn't be. I love you to death and if things were different, who knows. But I do know you're the happiest Josh and I have ever seen you and you need to enjoy that with the person who makes you feel that way, no matter who is around."
Watching them together did, I'll admit, make me a little jealous. Not of Todd for making Bruce happy, but because they had each other. It made you realize what was possible, as much as the relationship Lane and Josh had built did. It seemed like everyone was finally getting a chance to be happy just as I was realizing what an idiot I'd been for taking as much time as I had with Kurt.
So, yeah, I was feeling sorry for myself, but trying not to make it too obvious. Which I failed at, apparently, because as soon as we were back in the car Josh was on my ass about being mopey while Lane was telling him to leave me alone. And, I just started laughing.
Josh looked back at me in the mirror and said, "What the fuck is so damn funny?"
And I just kept laughing, which caused Lane to start laughing which irritated Josh even more. "Seriously, what is so damn funny?"
This went on for about five minutes before Josh finally cracked and laughed a little himself.
I sat back in the seat. "You're right, I was being mopey but I honestly think I hid it pretty well. What made me laugh was you getting on my ass, then the two of you arguing. Whether you realize it or not, you're kind of like an old married couple. Plus, when you get mad, it's sometimes just funny."
Lane snorted, "He's right about that last part. I mean, no one doubts you can cause some damage when you're pissed but there are times when you're mad and you say things that just come out funny."
"Huh, I always thought I was kind of intimidating when I'm angry."
I laughed, "Maybe to other people, but we both know you'd never touch us so it's just funny when you get mad at us."
"OK, OK, I get it. I don't intimidate either of you. Fine."
Lane looked back at me and we both cracked up. Josh's hand flew over to Lane's chest and grabbed his nipple and started to twist which made Lane yelp.
"Aha! See, I can hurt you!"
Lane ended up hitting his arm and saying, "You're soooo going to pay for that when we get to the house."
The rest of the drive was us talking and I explained how I was feeling. They both understood, just as Neil had, and it felt good to share with him. I wasn't going to let the past fuck up the future, but I needed to process a little longer. I'd had some space from Kurt himself, but not from all the stuff he'd done. And the revelation the day before at lunch was like a new punch to the gut. It's hard to explain to people but when you're in a situation like that, every bit of new information that reaches you just hurts, no matter how long ago it was chronologically.
By the time we got to the house, Cat was the only one there and she'd ensconced herself in the living room watching one of her shows while we unloaded the stuff from the Tahoe. Henry was laying beside her on the sofa until we got everything in and I whistled for him and he came running directly into my room.
It didn't take me long to get everything unpacked and put up, then I noticed Henry on the bed like, 'come on, pal, let's nap' and I decided to take him up on his offer.
I think I was out as soon as my head hit the pillow and I had some great dreams. At least I think I did because I remember waking up feeling wonderful which was a surprise since I'd been in pretty much a fog due to lack of sleep the night before. The house was empty when I got up and I took Henry out to the front to relieve himself. Then I looked out back to find Josh, Lane, Cat, Bruce, and Todd on the beach and decided to change into board shorts.
As I walked up, Josh asked if I'd gotten some rest and I told him I had, finally. I sat down with Todd who was chatting it up with Cat about some show they were both watching. I couldn't really interject anything about Project Runway. At one point Todd asked me what I thought about someone who had been on and Cat just laughed. I looked over at him and told him I had no idea what he was talking about. After much laughter at him deciding to pull my gay card, I decided to go get in the water. Yeah, it was cold, but after sitting in the sun it felt really good.
I came back out of the water to Josh standing at the edge of the beach.
"You OK?" he asked, his concern clear in his eyes.
I just smiled back at him, "Yeah, I really am. For the first time in months, I'm OK."
The rest of the afternoon was more of the same, conversations about television, video games, catching up on gossip and the issue of the day, Kurt.
Cat hadn't heard the complete version, Bruce and Todd had both heard pieces from me and Josh, so I gave them the details. It went well, but I could tell Bruce and Todd were both barely suppressing their anger, which wasn't at all where I wanted this to go. I was, despite being so close to it, really at peace. I don't know if it was the beach or the nap, but whatever it was had worked wonders on me and I wasn't feeling anything but good.
When I was done, Cat was the one who surprised me the most. She never let anything go, so her words really threw me for a loop.
"Well, I'm just glad it's all over. I don't want to hear his name ever again." She then stood up, dusted herself off, and continued, "I'm going in to call Stacey and Mindy." Before she left, she walked behind me, bent down and gave me a big hug. Cat and I have never had a problem being affectionate with one another, but this was something else and it just made me feel amazing. Our ability, especially with Josh thrown into the mix, to be ourselves completely around one another is something I really treasure.
After she left, Bruce and Todd had some questions and I answered them. I'd been light on the details when Cat was there regarding our sex life and it was this that really made Bruce tense up. I told them about the barebacking, the test, and the PEP. I honestly think if Kurt had been there, Bruce would have torn him apart. He was so agitated by the time I was done, I think the only thing holding him in place was Todd stroking his back.
He looked over at Josh and said, "Tell me you fucked him up. Please tell me you fucked up him bad."
Josh looked over at me as if to ask if it was OK for him to go on. I hadn't wanted to know the details of what he'd done, and I still didn't, but I knew Bruce did. I nodded back to him and asked, "Can you take it down the beach? I don't really want to know right now." Bruce got up with Josh and they walked away from us.
Todd just looked over at me and I could see a tear rolling down his cheek. I looked back at him and said, "It's OK. I'm going to be fine. The PEP is just to make sure, but I'm certain I'm going to be OK."
"I know man, I'm just sorry you had to go through this,"he said.
"Thanks, Todd. It means a lot to me." During our secret conversations, I'd shared some of what I'd been dealing with and he'd shared much with me, including some details on a bad relationship he'd had the previous summer. His previous boyfriend had been into sharing him with his other buds. Luckily, he didn't have the HIV concern I did since it was protected, but the emotional scars were bad. I'd asked how much he'd shared with Bruce and he said he'd only recently started to tell him.
Josh and Bruce were still talking, so Lane and I decided to go in and get some drinks and snacks. Todd went over to Bruce, I guessed to get the details he'd missed.
We walked into the house to find Neil and mother back from their shopping trip. We snagged a box of crackers and some sodas after helping them get everything else in. Mother said we were going to have dinner at 630 and I asked Bruce and Todd could eat with us, which she said would be fine.
We went back down the beach and waived them back over. Bruce looked crushed as he walked back to me, and I asked him what was wrong. He just wrapped me in a hug.
"I just wanted to tell you I'm sorry."
"For what," I asked.
"For getting so wrapped up in what Josh did to Kurt," he pulled back and looked me in the eye. "I love you so much and I just wish you'd told me everything."
I just looked back at him, trying to show I appreciated how he felt, "Thank you, but it wouldn't have done any good, man. There was nothing you could have done and it really wasn't something I wanted to share at all, let alone over Skype. If Lane hadn't overheard what happened yesterday, I probably would have gone to the grave with it. Seriously, I'm just glad you guys are here now."
We sat down and I told them about dinner. Bruce and Todd, however, had other plans with some of Todd's friends from his old school so it ended up being a quiet night at home.
Later that night, as I was laying in bed reading, Cat came in and sat on the bed. I just smiled at her as she walked in and I realized she had something she desperately wanted to say, but was clearly nervous about it. She didn't even look at me for about ninety seconds, just sitting there staring at the dresser across from my bed, I guess thinking about what she was going to say. Finally, I couldn't stand it anymore.
"Cat, just say it. It's OK, you know I love you and there's nothing you're going to say that's going to make me mad."
She looked over at me with this look on her face best described as pure contempt, "Have you ever known me to be concerned about making you mad?"
I laughed, "Nah, but there's always a first time."
She sighed, "It's about Kurt. I wanted to be honest with you about how I was feeling. Whatever Josh did to him wasn't enough and I want only horrible things to happen to him. I tried my best to be nice this afternoon when we were on the beach, but I honestly can't stand it. I don't want to upset you, but I really hate that guy."
I got up and sat next to her, hugging her to my side.
"Thanks for thinking of me, and I completely understand how you feel."
She snorted, "No you don't. You're like the king of getting over things way too fast."
I turned her head to me and looked into her eyes, "Not this time."
She just looked back at me, and nodded her head, "Good. So I don't need to hide how happy I am that Josh beat him up?"
"Nope."
And that got me a nice smile, a kiss on the cheek, and a good night.
Sunday morning, Josh woke me up and I quickly got up, took Henry out, then got in my wetsuit and joined him on the beach. Lane had decided to sleep in so it was just the two of us surfing this morning. About 20 minutes after we went in the water, Bruce and Todd showed up. We were probably out for a good two hours, before I finally went in to get some food and bring it back out.
We sat on the beach and ate, not making much noise. I'd nuked some breakfast sandwiches (well, not really some so much two whole boxes) and brought out some Solo cups and OJ. Maybe not the best breakfast ever, but it was good for us at the time. When we finished up, Bruce and Josh got up to head back into the water. As I started to stand, Todd put his hand on my leg and I looked down at him to see him mouth, 'stay'.
I sat back down and Josh looked back at me and said, "Coming?"
"In a bit. I want to settle a little more from breakfast." He nodded and ran off into the water. With them out of earshot I figured it was safe for Todd to tell me what he wanted.
I looked over at him and he was just smiling at me, which made me smile as I said, "What?"
"You know, for someone who doesn't lie, you're really good at making things up."
I laughed, "I was actually being serious," and I burped for effect. "So, what's up?"
"Honestly, nothing. I just wanted to hang out with you and let them go do whatever."
I just looked at him with a goofy grin, "Uh huh... what's the real reason?"
"Seriously, that's the reason."
"OK, that works for me."
We sat there in silence for, I guess, about ninety seconds. I was actually rather enjoying it. The sun was up and it was really nice just sitting on the beach. I was feeling great and it had been so long since I had that I just wanted to suck it all in. I know I'm not the only one who has those moments where absolutely nothing is happening and it all feels so right.
Todd was the one who broke the silence.
"You know, he still loves you very much,"Todd said as we sat on the beach, watching Josh and Bruce out in the water.
"Yeah, but not the way he loves you," and I turned to look him in the eyes, "Trust me on that."
"I know. But Josh was his first love and you were definitely his second. I'm coming in third and it was hard for a while. Then I realized something."
Curious, I asked, "What's that?"
"That I'm not competing with either of you. And before you think this brilliant insight happened early on, it didn't. It came after ultimatums, crying, and some yelling," he finished, laughing.
I smiled back at him, "I'm glad it came, though. I love Bruce and seeing him happy has been really awesome. I'll admit, I'm a little jealous..."
"Jealous? Why?"
I sighed, "Because you two have what Josh and Lane have. I can see it when you look at him and when he looks at you. It's something I really want and it's a reminder of what I was so desperately pretending I had with Kurt."
"I just can't believe he'd fuck around like that when he had you."
"Believe it," I replied. "He did when he first got me, when he had me, even when he was about to lose me. The day I caught him with that guy from TCU, I went down to a gas station where Josh picked me up. I was thinking this was all my fault, that it was just what would happen to me, that I'd never be enough. While I was there, the lady working the register took a break and chatted with me for a while. I really liked her and there was something she said about some men being wired to cheat. It made sense to me. I think that's the case. I know you aren't, I'm not, Josh, Bruce, and Lane aren't, but some men are and it sucks for those of us who fall for them."
"Like my ex," he replied.
I slid my arm around his back and hugged him which, honestly, wasn't the easiest thing in the world. I was kind of getting sick of being the little guy with all these studs. Even Lane was up to 5' 10" so I was the shortest of the group.
"Exactly. It ain't us, it's them."
He looked over at me with this smile on this face, "I have something I have to admit."
"Oh, hell, what is it," I said, laughing.
He took a deep breath, "Well, it's about contacting you on Skype. It wasn't just because I wanted to meet and talk to you before you came here. I was also trying to find flaws."
I really didn't know how to take that, "The fuck? Flaws? Shit, I told you about Kurt. There's a prime example of my obvious imperfection."
He laughed, "Actually, Bruce was the one who prompted it."
"Bruce? How?" I asked.
"Well, he talks about you and Josh a lot, but when he talks about Josh it's like his best bud. When he talks about you, it's like he's talking about this perfect person who just blows everyone away. It's really kind of intimidating and, honestly, it was irritating to me. I was like, 'I'm your fucking boyfriend and I don't want to hear any more about this amazing guy in Texas who is just perfect.'"
"He's really that obnoxious when he talks about me?"
"It's not obnoxious, it's reverent. To me it's obnoxious, but he doesn't come across that way. By that time, I'd made peace with everything but I still had to see it for myself. That first night we talked, I kind of got it. You're a really sweet guy. But it wasn't until yesterday that I really saw you. You're stronger than I gave you credit for and I really hope I'm not being too presumptuous to call you my friend."
That got me a little and I teared up. "Of course not, Todd."
He reached over to hug me to his side and we sat there in silence, just staring at the ocean and two overmuscled assholes trying to surf. A little while later Lane plopped down on the sand, right next to me.
"What did I miss?"
"Josh fell off his board about 15 minutes ago. It was hilarious. Make sure you mention it to him."
We all laughed and I decided to go back out for a bit. I would never be great at surfing, but I did enjoy it and still do. It's like when I'm playing baseball, all the anxiety just washes away. We stayed out for a few more hours, then decided it was time to go in for lunch.
Mother and Neil had cooked and it was really great being able to sit down with everyone, to hear laughter around the table, and to just feel good. Physically, I was pretty exhausted, but my head was anything but.
After lunch, we crashed out in front of the TV and not long after I fell asleep. I was tired, sure, but I'd put my head on a pillow near Josh and feeling him play with my hair had knocked me right out. When I woke up, Henry was on the floor in front of me and everyone else had disappeared. It was weird, but I remember being really hungry so I wandered into the kitchen to find something to eat. There was a note from Josh to join them at Bruce's when I woke up.
I looked at the clock. The last time I remember looking at the time, after lunch, it had been about 1245. Now it was just after 4. So, I made a sandwich, gave half to Henry, and we made our way down the beach to Bruce's house after I gave Henry shit for eating like Josh.
The doors to the deck were already open and it looked like everyone was playing pool or standing around watching others play pool. There were a few people I didn't recognize, some friends of Todd's to whom he happily introduced me. There were four of them, and I can't remember the names of three of them, but Jeff definitely stood out. He was very friendly and I think he was more than a little interested in me.
Which presented a problem. I was absolutely not turned off by him, he was about 5'10" and well built. He had a gorgeous smile with very straight white teeth, clear skin, brown eyes and black hair. He really was hot.
And, of course, I panicked. I didn't want to tell him what I'd been through, or that I was sweating out the last few weeks of being on PEP("So good to meet you, you're really hot and I would love to do things with you but I may have the HIV"), so I opted to be cool and aloof. I figured I could make it through the afternoon and I'd be good. Maybe a few more meetings over the next two weeks and then it would all be over without me being the Texas Embarrassment Who Amused Orange County.
We all chatted for a bit and I drifted off to get something to drink. I decided I wanted OJ and went to get it out of the fridge, and closed the door to find him standing right behind it and it made me jump.
"You scared the shit out of me, Jeff! The hell were you thinking?" I asked him, as I caught my breath.
He smiled, slyly, "That I could get a reaction out of this cute guy from Texas and make him laugh. I didn't realize you were so jumpy."
And that was when I realized that my stupid plan was, well, stupid. This was a bullet I wasn't going to dodge.
"I'm not, usually. I'm kind of on edge."
"Why? Any chance it's because of a cute guy from Aliso?" he asked, smiling broadly by this point, brimming with confidence.
I stood there and looked at him, wondering how the hell he did it. Sure, he was good looking, but the confidence... it was the same look all my friends had and it was sexy as hell. It was an undefinable quality and I didn't have it. Sure, I was confident I could play baseball. I wasn't a complete moron, so I was confident about school. But when it came to just being sexy, I had no game. No matter what people thought, I didn't FEEL it. Was it because I was too wrapped up in my head? Was it the GAD?
I was finally pulled out of my thoughts by him clearing his throat.
I smiled, asking him, "What?"
"You just did a thing in your head, didn't you?" he asked, smiling.
I blushed, caught. "Yeah, it's just something I do."
"Care to share?"
I laughed, thinking 'sure, I'd love to tell you all about my crazy internal monologue.' Instead, I replied, "No, but I do need to be honest with you about some things if I'm correct in assuming you're interested."
"Oh, shit." he said, "You're seeing someone, aren't you? Man, I'm sorry. Todd told me you were single."
I laughed, "No, it's nothing like that. Come on," and I led him back to the deck to some privacy so we could talk. We ended up sitting next to each other on a padded bench, with him angled so he could look at me as I talked and Henry laying down at my feet. The breeze felt really good on my skin and I realized I was making way more out of this than necessary. I needed to be honest and how he dealt with it was all him.
"I just broke up with a guy the weekend of the fourth. I caught him cheating on me while we were at a friends lake house. I'd been asleep in the next room."
He just looked at me, his mouth hanging open. "Are you fucking kidding me? He had you and decided to get a piece of ass to supplement?"
I snorted, "I found out it wasn't just the one. He was apparently a bit of a whore. The problem is, I thought we were monogamous so we had sex often without condoms."
"Oh, fuck..."
"Yeah. I've been tested and I was clean, but it wasn't far enough out to cover the last time we had sex. So, the doctor put me on PEP just in case. I'm pretty sure I'm fine, but until I complete the treatment and get the all clear next month, I don't want to put anyone at risk."
"Oh, so you thought I wanted to have sex? Seriously, furthest thing from my mind." he said, smiling.
I laughed, "I just wanted to be honest with you right from the start. I can't imagine someone like you being desperate..."
"I'm not, but I'm picky. It frustrates the hell out of Todd. I wasn't going to come over here today because I had a feeling he was going to pawn me off on someone. Imagine my surprise when it turned out to be someone I really thought was hot as hell."
At that, I blushed again and this time, I felt it in my feet.
"Look, I'm disappointed as hell, don't get me wrong. But Todd and Bruce speak very highly of you and there's no reason we can't be friends."
"Cool."
We sat and talked about school and world in general. He was a debater, so his knowledge base was pretty wide and surprisingly deep. It was so much fun just sitting there talking to him that we both lost track of time. The sun was starting to get low and I realized it had to be late. We walked back into the house and I asked Bruce where Josh and Lane were. He just laughed and said they'd taken off back to the house like an hour ago. I looked at my phone and the most recent text was from my mother in all caps, DINNER. NOW.
I said my goodbyes and traded numbers with Jeff, then took off for the house down the beach, with Henry running just ahead, like he knew where we were going. When I got there I just kept running up the steps and through the door, only to need a moment to catch my breath which mother and Neil found hilarious.
"Sorry... I... lost... track..."
"Of time?" my mother asked. "That wouldn't have anything to do with a cute young man you met over at Bruce's would it?"
I looked up at her, then over at Josh who was eating Pringles. "Traitor," was all I said and his smile told me he understood clearly what I was saying.
"Jeff from Aliso Viejo. Senior this year at Todd's old school. Very nice. Debates and he's on the football team. I don't know his parents, his blood type, or college preference."I told my mother, hoping to head off another interrogation by the Bethany Intelligence Agency.
Mother let out a small laugh and came over to me, "Go get cleaned up, we're going to eat in 15."
"Yes ma'am."
Later that night, Josh and Lane came in my room where I'd been camped out since we finished the movie after dinner.
"How'd it go,"Lane asked, sitting in one of the chairs near my dresser. Josh just flopped down on my bed and began to snuggle Henry. For all his bullshit about 'the fucking dog', Josh did like Henry and Henry gave every appearance of liking him. As long as it involved petting or food. Other than that, he paid little attention to Josh's instructions.
"Did y'all know what Todd was up to?"
Josh looked over at Lane and they exchanged a glance. I knew that one... the question, passing between them silently, 'DID you know? Because I didn't.'
Josh turned quickly back to me, "No, neither of us knew. We actually gave Todd shit about it, but he seems certain all you need is just a rebound fuck or two to get back on your feet."
"Yeah, I got that vibe from him. I'm not having another uncomfortable talk like I did with Jeff who, not for nothing, really is an awesome guy. I'll talk to Todd about it."
Lane asked, "What did y'all talk about?"
I sat back in my chair, smiling, "Everything. Seriously, he can talk about anything and be entertaining about it. He's just charming as hell. If he lived in Texas, I know we'd be friends at the very least."
Josh piped up, "How did he take your situation?"
"He was really great about it. He was disappointed, but was cool with us being friends. I think it loosened us both up because the pressure to hook up was gone and I know that's where it would have gone if I wasn't dealing with the HIV scare."
I saw Josh shudder and get red, then look at his healing knuckles. I knew where his head was.
"Josh, I'm going to be OK."
He looked up at me, meeting my eyes, "It just sucks you have to go through this and I can't do anything about it. Worse, it's killing some fun you could be having here and it's like this dark cloud hanging over us."
"I know, but Josh you have to remember I made some dumb decisions. This wasn't all Kurt. And even if, God forbid, I come up positive, I'm still going to be OK. I'll still have a really good life."I stopped for a second, and looked down at my feet. "I know this because I have y'all. So don't waste time worrying about anything, OK?"
Josh just cleared his throat and nodded, his eyes watery with emotion. I filled them in a little more on Jeff and then they got up to go to bed, I finished up chatting on my computer with the guys back in Texas and then I went to bed.
Monday was mostly a repeat of the day before except that afternoon we just stayed at the house. Todd pulled me aside at one point and told me he'd realized what I needed.
I laughed, "Is this your way of explaining Jeff?"
He smiled. "See, I knew you would hit it off. Seriously, Rob, he's a great guy and he knows you're not going to be long term. Plus, he told me he thinks you're beautiful. He's perfect for you, you have to admit."
"Aside from living 1400 miles away, you're absolutely right."
"So, go on and use and abuse him. He can take it and I know he's good in bed from previous boyfriends. You just need to get back in the saddle and have some fun." I don't know about you, but I always appreciate it when folks, especially ones I don't know all that well, can so easily tell me what I need.
"He can't be a rebound fuck, Todd. Come on!"
"NO, YOU come on. When was the last time you got laid?"
I responded, clearly irritated, "July 2, remember?"
It took a second for it to sink in, but finally he got it. "I don't think you have anything to worry about, just use a condom."
"Would that be enough for you? I mean, really think about this. I could be exposing him to HIV. I'm not putting anyone else at risk until I know I'm safe."
"For me? Yes. I've got an uncle who is positive and undetectable. I'm comfortable with the risk since it's really relatively low and with you on PEP, it's probably non-existent."
"Dude, I appreciate you trying to deguilt the situation, but you don't have to wake up and look at my face every morning. If something happened, I'd never be able to live with myself."
"Fine. OK...," he responded, defeated. It made me feel bad because he was only trying to help.
And here's where I started to worry. During this conversation, despite my words to Todd about being cautious, I knew in my heart it was the last thing I wanted to be. For one thing, the last time I'd been touched by another guy had been with someone who now made my skin crawl. The need to shake THAT off, the desire to replace it with anything, was powerful as hell. And, as powerful, I was horny and I could imagine having sex with Jeff so easily (and, honestly, had. The night before. Twice.). The idea of feeling someone touch me who not only desired my body but also liked me was intoxicating. That it was someone who'd made me feel good just talking made it almost unbearable.
The combination of the two was shattering to me. I went out with Jeff Wednesday night and had a really good time. When he'd asked, I'd readily agreed but I did have some worries. I wasn't worried about him, he knew the score and the inning. I was worried about me. During our date, I could tell he was picking up on me and I finally came clean with him about Todd and what I was feeling.
"Will it make you feel better if I tell you it's flat out not going to happen? If I take away any possible negative decision you can make?" he asked.
I took a deep breath, using the moment to think and finally came to a conclusion, "Yes, it really would."
He smiled at me, genuinely, and said simply, "Done."
The rest of the night was great and I realized Jeff was, at some point, going to make one lucky guy exceedingly happy.
On Friday, we all decided to go to DisneyLand just for the hell of it. We ended up having fun and the time away from the house was nice. That weekend, Jeff had already planned to take me into LA to show me around a little, just some touristy stuff. We ended up going on Sunday and had a fantastic time. I was developing a comfort level with him that I'd never really experienced with someone I'd known for such a short period of time. I realized that afternoon, as we were getting coffee in West Hollywood, that he'd given me much more than the sex I thought I'd needed so desperately earlier in the week. He'd given me the ability to relax with someone again, to have faith in someone's good intentions again.
The next week was very relaxing and went far too quickly. Before we knew it, we were having the Final Party and then getting on the plane Saturday to head back to Texas. Bruce, Thursday night after Todd and Jeff left the party, stayed up with me to talk. He told me to be especially nice to Josh, since he was feeling like he his family was being taken from him before he'd even had them for a year.
The morning we left, Jeff showed up to say goodbye. We'd already decided we'd keep in touch, but reality being what it was, we also knew that it was unlikely to be as often as we'd like. He was starting football and I was heading into terra incognita, courtesy of my father. The two weeks I'd been in California had helped me deal with the fact that I would be losing everything I had. What killed me the most was losing my mother.
That last week at home was a blessing in so many ways. Most of my friends were playing football, but I still had time to catch up with all of them. Willy and Brent were something else that week. It seemed like every free moment they had was one they wanted to spend with me. It meant so much to me that there were more than a few times I'd get emotional, or they would, and we'd all go right over the edge. These were my friends from childhood, as close to me as Alan, who was being stoic about it all. I knew these would be friends I'd have for the rest of my life, that they would always be a part of me.
That Friday, mother and I drove into Dallas for my follow up HIV test. I'd been off the PEP for about a week. Dr. Nelson just had a PA take the blood and let us know she'd be in touch, most likely Tuesday. We got back in the car and mother looked over at me.
"How are you feeling, kiddo?" she asked.
"Good." I turned to look at her directly. "I'm not happy about moving. I'm not happy about seeing you only once a week..."
"Well, there are certainly going to be days I come have lunch with you. And I will be at every baseball game."
"I know. I also know in two years, this is all going to change. But, emotionally, I feel good. I'm free of Kurt and I know however this test comes back, I'm going to be OK. I'm going to live and I'm going to do what you always taught me to do."
"What's that," she asked with a smile.
"Make the most out of everything and always hug the ones you love."
We hugged and we both had to wipe away some tears, though it was easier for me since I didn't have on mascara.
"How about we get something to eat and then go see where you'll be living?"
I just looked at her, puzzled.
"I'm still your mother. He has to give me the address where you'll be living. I got it yesterday afternoon, I thought we might go take a look at what you're old dad has been up to."
I smiled, "Sounds like a plan."
We ended up at a Whataburger off LBJ, in the opposite direction of the one we were going. We ate pretty quickly then, as we were walking back to the car, mother asked if I wanted to drive. I'd had experience driving in Dallas since I got my learners permit the previous fall, but I was hesitant and she noticed.
"Kiddo, you're going to have to get used to it at some point. In a few days, you're going to be living here."
I took the keys, got in the car, and we made our way back to the DNT through some terrible construction. We got off the tollway at Park and after a few twists and turns ended up in front of what could best be described as a McMansion with four very large columns in front and an expansive yard that I assumed would be my responsibility.
I pulled over and we got out to have a better look. Mother came over to my side and we just sat there looking at it.
"Well, at least it's not a Macaroni Grill," she said. It was what she called every 'Mediterranean inspired' house built in the previous 10 years.
"Yeah, but it's just so, so, I don't know... tacky."
She laughed a little. "It's your grandmother. I'm sure she absolutely loves it."
"Well, I'm not thrilled about the yard. Not one damn bit."
"ROB!"
"Sorry, mom, but look at it. That's a weekend of work."
She laughed again, "Oh, honey, I'm pretty sure he's already hired a landscaping company." She nudged me in the ribs, "Come on, let's head home."
We got back in the car and I drove us home. Surprisingly, both of us were feeling extremely talkative. I told her the full story with Jeff and we talked a little about what she and Neil were planning with regard to appealing the decision of the judge in Ouichita. The biggest thing she wanted me to know was that they weren't done fighting and it felt good to know. My mother was never one to give up any way, but I was afraid they'd decided to let things lie. Then she dropped what felt like a bomb.
"You know, this is going to get harder with each week that passes," she said.
I glanced over at her, "What do you mean?"
She took a deep breath, "You and Cat are both going to be fine. You're going to make new friends and your old ones aren't even an hour away. You'll all be driving soon enough and every week we're going to see each other. I just know that the appeal may take another six months and I have to take into account that then the best thing for you may not be moving you back to Ouichita."
"So what would you do?" I asked, hesitantly.
"It may come down to us moving into Dallas when Josh graduates. To be honest, we've already discussed it no matter how the appeal turns out."
"But that's almost two years away!"
"Honey, things may change and we have to be prepared for it."
I started to cry. It was like she just suddenly didn't want me any more. She quickly grabbed my hand, "I love you. I'm trying to tell you that no matter what happens, we will find a way to work it out. I don't want you making the decision not to live and make friends because you think you're going to be moving back home soon."
I stopped crying, slowly, as her words really sank in. It took me a few minutes, but I finally realized I'd been a fool and that she was absolutely right. She wasn't getting rid of me, she was giving me permission to do the one thing she knew I'd avoid, making connections and getting comfortable in Plano.
"I'm sorry, I didn't understand what you were saying, mom."
"It's OK, kiddo."
The rest of the weekend was filled with my friends and even my grandparents showed up. Willy, Brent, Frank, George, and Darnell basically moved in Friday evening. Some of Cat's friends joined her so we had a very full house but, surprisingly, we all got along. Willy and Brent got up early Sunday with me to go fishing at the lake. We talked and made promises that you always make when a friend is moving away. We all knew life was going to be different, but we also knew we'd do our damnedest to stay together.
Alan showed up Sunday afternoon late and was about as broken up as I've ever seen him. It was hard to say goodbye to him, but, as I'd reminded everyone else, I wasn't moving to Mars. I was going to be less than an hour away.
Everyone finally left around 730 and we ate and sat down to watch a movie. After it was over, I went in to go to bed and decided to take a xanax for the first time. I knew I wouldn't be able to sleep and it did actually help, but so did being tired from finishing packing the few items that remained.
The next morning I woke up depressed. I knew it was the end and I was moving in slow motion. About nine, my father showed up and we started loading the last of our stuff into his truck. Mother, Neil, and Josh stayed inside and I was thankful for that since the last thing I wanted was a confrontation. I hugged Neil and then Josh who whispered in my ear, "I want to hear from you every night."
Mother hugged both Cat and me and pulled back from us.
"This isn't forever and you know I love you both more than anyone. Don't be terrible to your father, no matter how deserving of it you think he is. Try to make friends and remember we will have every Sunday, no matter what."
She was trying hard to be brave, but Cat and I were past the tipping point and we were crying. Mother hugged us one last time, I grabbed Cat's hand and we turned to walk out the door.
My father was already in the truck and I told Cat to sit in the front so I could be in the back with the Henry. We got in, settled down, and without a word he drove us from our home and away from our mother to Plano.
I cried until we got on to the tollway, then had to close my eyes. It couldn't have been more than 20 minutes later that we pulled into the drive and he woke me up so I could see it. My reaction was honest...
"I really hate it. It's so tacky."
"Well, it's home now," was his curt reply.
We pulled around to the back to the garage and started unloading the truck. I noticed a new Mercedes in another garage bay and made a mental note to ask about that later.
Once we got everything unloaded, my father left to go to work. He told us he'd pick us up to go have dinner about 630. Cat and I both told him that was cool and he finally left.
We stood there looking at each other in the hallway we shared.
"It's going to be OK, you know. In less than month I'll have my license and we won't have to depend on him. It's just going to suck for a couple of weeks," I told her. She just nodded and went to her room.
We spent the afternoon unpacking and changing up our rooms. I also stripped the monitoring software off our computers (my dad's IT guys were good at some things, terrible at others. Plus, Dad's password was always Ouisa1944, my grandmother's name and birth year. Someone has some issues, am I right?) and got some stuff transferred over from my laptop. About 4, we decided to go swimming. One thing was certain, no matter what he may have been thinking he sure as hell was never going to break us. Cat and I could have fun doing just about anything. She only got bad when I was wrapped up in a book or entertaining myself and she was bored. Then and only then did we fight. Well, that and when one of us ate the last of something SHE liked. I know you can guess who was always to blame in those situations.
He showed back up at about 630 and we left to go eat. We talked during dinner and he told us he did have a housekeeper, Nancy Witsun. Mrs. Witsun handled the shopping, cooking, and would deal with dry cleaning. There was a housekeeping service that came in to clean the house and do laundry on Thursday and the landscaping and pool people came on Friday. We needed to make a list of the things we wanted Mrs. Witsun to get at the grocery store when we got home.
He also informed me that one of his partners had a son, Chad, who went to my school. He'd be by to pick me up at noon the next day for lunch.
"Oh, great, InstaFriend. That should be fun!" which made Cat snicker.
"Watch it. It's not like you have so many other options," he said.
"Yeah, and whose fault is that? Who moved us an hour away from all the people we've grown up with to a place where we know no one?"
That got him. "We're not doing this here. This is the way it's going to be and you may as well get used to it."
"Fine. So, what's this kid like?" I asked.
He took a long sip from his scotch, "He's a good kid. He worked at the company some this summer and interned with one of the architects we've used. I think you'll like him."
Notice that he didn't reference any of my friends as a comparison. I did. He knew a lot of them which meant this kid wasn't like any of them. And he interned with an architect. Yep, I just KNEW this was going to be a blast.
We got back home and went our separate ways. I got on skype and talked to mother for a bit. I could tell she'd been crying and I just told her we were OK and that I couldn't wait to see her on Sunday. I talked to Willy for a bit and he was really upbeat. He was going to be starting on defense this year with Josh and he was absolutely thrilled. As miserable as I was, I was happy for him. Willy had worked hard and he earned that spot. Brent and Darnell also got moved to varsity this year.
I didn't get to talk to Josh, he was out with Lane so I texted them to say hi. All in all, it was pretty damn depressing... While my life was out of control, everyone else was doing well. The thought did cross my mind that maybe I'd pissed off God, then I realized that was stupid. It was just the way things were going to be and I needed to deal with it as best I could.
About 1030 I went down to say goodnight to my father who was in his office. He asked me to come in because he wanted to talk for a bit.
He hesitated at first, then, "Chad doesn't know anything about you. No one here does. I need to be here for work, but moving you here also gives you an opportunity to be whoever you want. No one here knows anything about you or your experimentation. You should really think about what you tell people here about yourself so you don't get trapped into being something that you later realize you're not."
I just rolled my eyes, "Thanks for the advice, dad. May I go now?"
He just sighed, looking down at his desk, "Yes. Breakfast will be ready at 745."
"Yes sir. Good night."
I wasn't even angry. I knew what he meant. He wasn't asking me to lie exactly, he was just still holding out hope that being gay was a phase. It had been almost a year since I'd come out and still he was going on with this shit. It occurred to me that I might well be in my 30s or 40s before he finally got it.
I slept pretty well that night despite the gas that kept coming out of Henry. I don't know what it is about dogs, but when they are disturbed things just go haywire with their digestion.
The next morning I got up and went to down to meet Mrs. Witsun who was a nice lady, I guessed about 10 years or so older than my father. She had a straight gray hair that was cut at a downward angle which was a little younger than you might expect and her eyes were a slate color that was really attractive. She also had a really nice smile that made me feel comfortable with her.
We talked for a bit and I served myself. I'd just sat down to eat when my father came in.
"Good morning! Did you sleep ok?" he asked me.
I just said uh huh since my mouth was filled with eggs and bacon. We chatted a little more and he asked if I'd given Mrs. Witsun my list and I told him I had.
"Good. Remember what I said last night and try to have some fun today, OK?" he said, getting up from the table.
"I will and thanks!" I said, as earnestly as possible. Mrs. Witsun picked up on it and after he left even giggled a little.
I just looked at her with a smile, "How did you know I was being tacky?"
"I raised six boys and two girls. I know the tones they use."
I laughed, "He never picks up on it unless I go really over the top."
She looked at me, "You know, I haven't worked for him long but the way he talks about you and your sister makes it clear he really does love you. You might try giving him the benefit of the doubt?"
I thought for a second, not really because I needed to gather my thoughts, but because I needed to stop myself from being a grade A dickhead to this perfectly lovely woman. Who would be preparing most of my meals.
"We know he loves us, but it's more complex than that. This whole thing hasn't really been about us, it's been about beating our mother. He just wanted to win the contest. That aside, yeah, he does love us. That's why I'm trying hard not to be the worlds most assholic kid."
I helped her clean up a bit and we left some food out for Cat who would roll out of bed around 10. There was a room for a gym in the house but the equipment for it wasn't going in until next week. So, I opted to swim and felt really good when I got out. Then I had to get ready for my lunch date.
At 1159 the doorbell rang and I went to open the front door. What I found was not at all what I expected. For one thing, Chad was tall and lanky... he had to be 6'2" and probably weighed as much as me. He was also wearing a pair of chinos, a button down shirt, and a navy blazer.
I was wearing shorts, a t-shirt, and Vans. I looked at him, glanced down at myself, and said, "Oh, shit. Come on in and I'll go change real quick. I'm sorry, my father didn't say a word about how I should be dressed."
Chad came in and I closed the door behind him. He was kind of dorky, hair a bit too long and shaggy, but otherwise not a bad looking guy. He had a lopsided grin and said, "Don't worry about it. I'm coming from the last day of my internship," he said, sticking out his hand to shake, "I'm Chad Eastman."
"Rob Hallstrom," I replied, shaking his hand. "Well, if we can go some place that'll allow me in dressed like this, I'll just leave as is."
"Cool. You want to drive or do you want to ride with me?" he asked.
"I don't turn 16 for about another month."
He looked perplexed. "Huh, I thought your dad said you were going to Plano West, but it sounds like you're going to be sophomore."
"Yeah, that's right. They don't go to high school here?"
He laughed, "No, they have two high schools, Shelton and Jasper that are both 9th and 10th grade. Then they feed into Plano West for 11th and 12th. I'm guessing from your neighborhood you'll be going to Shelton."
"Well, I'm really glad we had this talk or my father probably would have dropped me at the wrong school next Monday." I said, laughing, then yelled out, "Mrs. Witsun, I'm leaving. Thank you again for breakfast."
"Ok, Rob," she called out from the kitchen.
His car was like a lot of kids cars, obviously a hand me down from his parents. Not a terrible deal for him, since it was a Lexus, which he drove like an old lady.
We ended up going to a burger place that was, in his words, 'Old School Plano'. It was actually pretty good and we talked about all kinds of things, discovering we had some common interests (reading, baseball, science fiction), and he told me about his internship.
"So this architect is one the the company uses?"
"You mean the partnership? Yeah. In fact, they're doing more of the work on one of the big buildings they're working on at Legacy."
"OK. I don't really know much about what my father does..."
"Just take the money and don't worry where it comes from?" he said, smirking. I didn't take that well.
"Dude, look at me. I'm wearing a plastic watch and Vans. Do I really look like the spoiled little rich kid?"
He laughed, "Good point. And I'm sorry."
"S'cool. So, your mom and my father are partners with some other people and that partnership develops commercial and residential real estate?"
"You go it, though calling my mother and your father partners is a pretty big stretch."
"Well, that's the word he used to describe her."
He cleared his throat and leaned back in his chair, "My mom was one of the founders of the partnership and your dad was a limited partner, just basically an investor. They were doing well, but they were massively undercapitalized. So, they asked the LP's for additional money and your father stepped up in a big way. They're partners, but your dad owns like 60% and my mom owns 8%. In two years, despite having less ownership, she's quadrupled her money. Your father is an absolute genius."
It was funny hearing someone talk this way about my father. To me, especially at this point, he was mostly a jackass. Hearing him spoken about so admiringly was kind of cool, though not cool enough to overcome that I was still mad at him for dragging me here.
I just shrugged in response, "You've told me more about my father's business that I've picked up in the last few years."
"Have you ever tried talking to him about it?" he asked.
"Yeah, we used to go look at stuff after school that he was thinking about buying. He sometimes took me to job sites when I was a kid. Other than that, he mentions things but he doesn't really do it with any context so I have no idea what the hell he's on about half the time."
We ended up talking about school and what I was interested in. He didn't know much about Shelton but he said he'd talk to some friends of his who did go to Shelton and see if they knew any sophomores there, hopefully to give me an in with at least some people so I wasn't a total outcast. He also told me my odds of making to varsity baseball were pretty slim. To that, I just laughed. He didn't know it had been hard in Ouichita and that I was actually a pretty decent player.
He noticed me looking a little too long at a guy who walked by (who did look back at me and smile) and made the statement, "You're gay."
"Yep. That's not a problem, is it?" I asked.
"No, it's just that your dad never mentioned it."
I rolled my eyes, "Well, for him, it's just phase."
"Is it?"
"No. Two boyfriends in and I can assure you, it's not." which got a laugh out of him. "It won't be a big deal at school, will it?"
"Yeah, you'll get picked on but it won't be anything too bad. I'd wait to start telling people."
I gave him a fake salute, "Message received."
He dropped me back at the house around 200 after driving me around a bit. Mrs. Witsun had left a note that she'd gone to the store so I went looking for Cat and found her in the living room watching some old movie with the dogs on either side of her.
"Did you have fun with Daddy's fixup?" she teased.
I laughed, "He's sort of a dork, but ended up being a nice guy."
"So what do you think about Mrs. Witsun? I like her."
"I did, too," I replied. "She's all about dad, so I'd watch what you say around her, but she seems nice."
We sat there about an hour and she screamed out, "Oh my God, I'm so bored."
I got up from the sofa and looked down at her. "Come on, let's go swimming."
We spent the afternoon swimming and laying out. About 430 we went in and I took a nap. My father wanted to go out for dinner so we got dressed and went with him, then to a movie I can't even remember. Cat was adamant about needing to go shopping for school, so he said he would ask Mrs. Witsun to take us Thursday afternoon. I bowed out, asking if I could go to a Rangers game with Chad and a few of his friends. He was so excited about that I actually thought about declining the invite just to get at him. I decided against it because any baseball game is better than shopping with Cat.
Wednesday morning I got up and knew I wasn't feeling right, emotionally. I went through all the therapy stuff and finally took a run. By the time I got back, my father had already gone to work. I had breakfast and even Mrs. Witsun noticed something was wrong. I just told her I wasn't feeling well and went up to my room. I spent the rest of the day in, and briefly out, of bed. I wasn't sick, I was sad. While I'd felt great in California and the week before, everything had been building... all the fear, worry, and anxiety that I'd carefully put away came rushing back.
This was the worst part about being here, no support. I didn't have Josh, Willy, or anyone. I ended up calling mother and telling her what was happening. She talked to Oates and got a recommendation for someone in Plano and she made an appointment for me late that afternoon. I asked Mrs. Witsun to give me a ride over. I was, pretty much, a wreck by the time we got there. I was so out of it that I'd even missed the text from my mother earlier that my final HIV test came back clear.
Dr. Arya was a very nice guy who was a personal friend of Oates. They'd gone to school together and often referred patients to one another. When I walked in, I could tell from the look on his face that he knew I'd gone badly off the rails.
He'd cleared a little over an hour for us to talk and I'd told Mrs. Witsun I'd take a cab home when I was done. I didn't want her having to hang out the entire time, she had things she needed to do.
The appointment helped a lot. I got out a lot of frustration and anger and he helped me refocus on controlling my anxiety and realizing that everything was going to be OK. He created a standing appointment for me on Thursday afternoons at 430 to give me time to get there from school.
I walked out of his building into the hot Texas afternoon and called the cab. By the time I got home, Mrs. Witsun had filled my father in on what had happened and we discussed it. He was hurt that I hadn't called him and I reminded him mother was the one who had forced me into therapy, that it had done wonders for me, and that he thought it was all nonsense. His view had softened, but I knew what it must have been like for him, being the father of the weak, emotional, gay kid. I didn't throw this in his face, I just told him there were some things I would go to mother for and that was the end of it.
"No, it's not the end of it..."
"YES,"I said very loudly, then more quietly, "It fucking is. I am not ending up as some kind of basket case because you think all this is nonsense. If you force the issue, I'll have the doctor petition the court to have me removed from you for my own well being." And I turned to walk upstairs.
We didn't discuss it again, thankfully. I like to think it was because he knew I was right, but I know in my heart it was fear on his part that kept him from making a thing out of it.
Thursday was better and I got up to have breakfast with him. I asked him why he never took me to look at his projects any more and he laughed, pointing out that he very rarely got to go to them these days until they were being opened. I told him I'd like to go with him next time and he said he'd like that. And no, it wasn't my way of making up for being harsh the previous evening, I genuinely wanted to spend more time with him in his world. Hell, maybe it was an olive branch, but it was me being honest, not trying to gain some sort of advantage.
After lunch, Mrs. Witsun took Cat to Willow Bend, which irritated her since she wanted to go to NorthPark. However, once it was pointed out to her that there was a Neiman Marcus there as well, she shut up. Later I found out that she'd actually met some girls while shopping who would be at her middle school.
I went with Chad and two of his friends to the Rangers game later that afternoon. We ended up having a pretty good time, though his friends seemed more into each other than they were the game.
Friday, I got up and had breakfast with my father, then went back to my room and read for about an hour. When I got up, I went for a jog and decided to extend my route a bit. It was really hot and humid, within the first half mile I'd shed the tank I was wearing and hung it from the waist band of my shorts. Luckily, while I may not have been supermodel material, I did have a nice body and some decent definition. I knew I was getting looks from people, but when this little BMW coupe pulled up next to me, I was little blown away.
"Hey, hottie. Stop and talk for a second," the driver, a woman, said.
I held up and leaned into her passenger window. She was older than me, but I figured still in high school and very pretty. From her eyes, I could tell she liked what she saw and I just kept smiling until she asked, "Please tell me you're not gay."
"I don't want to lie to you..."
"FUCK!"
"Sorry..." was all I managed through the smile on my face.
"No, it's OK. It would just be nice if the hot guy jogging around my neighborhood was straight and not married."
I laughed, "Well, I only moved here this week so I don't know many hot guys. The guy who lives across from me is single but I'm pretty sure it's because he's a widow. Oh, and he uses a walking frame but I think it'll fit in the back seat. He doesn't jog much that I can tell but he's pretty decent looking for being in his late 80s."
"Alright, alright. You can stop." she looked at me for a second. "You look like you could use a drink. I'm Molly Ambrose, I live about a block down. You want to come in for some water? I think my brother has some Powerade, but don't hold me to that."
"Sure, thanks for the offer. I'd hop in your car but I'm pretty well drenched."
"It's cool, just follow me."
She drove up ahead and pulled into the driveway of a nice house that was slightly up a hill from the street. It was traditional, brick, nothing special on the outside. Honestly, it was the kind of house I wish we lived in, simple and decidedly unpretentious. I would have been happy with anything that didn't look like an updated version of the plantation house where Colonel Sanders grew up.
We went in and to the kitchen. She got me a Gatorade out of the refrigerator and we stood there talking. She asked where I was living and I told her the address.
"That's the Mitchell's old house. He ended up getting transferred back to California and they had to sell quick."
I laughed, "And I'm sure my father was only too happy to take advantage of the situation."
"So, is it just you and your dad?"
"No, my sister Cat, too. My father got custody of us over the summer and hauled us up here."
She looked at me intently, "I take it the battle wasn't pleasant?"
"Are custody battles ever?"
"Good point," she replied. "How old is your sister?"
"Thirteen. She'll be in eighth this year. I'll be a sophomore and I think I'm going to Shelton."
"Yeah, this neighborhood goes there. You'll love it. My little brother Mark and I both went there."
"Are you in college?"
She laughed, "No, senior at West. My brother will be a junior." About that time I could hear the rumble of what sounded like a big truck pulling up. "Speak of the devil."
Thirty seconds later, a very attractive guy walked through the door, I assume from the garage, on his phone. It was clear he'd just come from morning practice and was wearing shorts and a cut off t. He was tall, I'd guess around 6'2" and pretty decently built.
"Dude, I don't give a shit. Just man up and fucking bring it," and he hung up the phone. He looked at his sister, ignoring me, and said, "Fucking Danny is still whining about bringing the margarita machine. What a fucking bitch."
Molly looked at me, rolled her eyes, but before she could speak, Mark who was standingwith his back to us at the open refrigerator said, "Who's that?"
"Rob Hallstrom. He just moved here from Ouichita. His dad bought the Mitchell's house."
Mark took a long drink out of the bottle, then looked at me, "Damn. Nice house, bruh!"
"Thanks man."
"You coming to the party tonight? We can introduce you to some of our friends." Then, to Molly, "Or is he one of those St. Marks assholes?"
"I hadn't even had a chance to ask him to come. He's going to be a sophomore at Shelton."
"Cool. There will be some people here from the football team who go to Shelton. You don't play football?"
I just laughed, "Baseball. Too small for football at this point and I didn't really feel like warming a bench."
He laughed, "Gotcha. You seeing anyone?"
Molly at that point laughed out, "Well, I was hoping he'd be seeing me but it turns out he bats for the other team."
Mark, lost in thought, said, "Wait a second. Ouichita? They have a really good football team. They have this kid who's like Toby and just an absolute beast on the field. Jason? Jake?"
"Josh. Josh Hastings. He's my brother."
"Did he move up, too?" he asked, totally serious.
"Nah, he's pretty comfortable where is with my mother and my stepfather."
"Shit. Well, nice meeting you. Hope you can make it tonight," and he walked off.
Molly just looked at me with a smile on her face, "Everything is football for him. Everything."
And Mark walked back in slowly, looking me up and down. I finally got self conscious and asked, "What?"
He got this big smile on his face, "Nothing. Well, something but I can't tell you. Just promise me you'll come tonight. There's going to be someone there I'd like you to meet."
"Oh, man, I appreciate it but..."
Molly butted in at that point, "Who do you want to introduce him to?" He mouthed a name to her but she just said 'who?' and he when he mouthed the second time, she finally got it.
"Oh my God, you're right," she replied to him. Then, to me, "My brother may be a bit of a bro, but he's really good at fixing people up. This will be worth it, I promise."
"You in?," Mark asked, holding out his fist for me to bump.
"Yeah, I'm in." I responded, bumping him.
Molly told me just to wear some board shorts since we'd be in and out of the pool all night and we exchanged numbers. I left a little while later and ran back home. After taking a much needed shower, I ate lunch and about 130 Chad called to ask what I was doing that night.
"I got invited to a party."
He snorted, "You've lived here less than a week and you got invited to a party? Where?"
"Well, I ran into Molly Ambrose when I was jogging this morning. We went back to her place, I got to meet her brother, and they invited me to their party tonight." I told him.
"Are you fucking kidding me? They invited you to their party?" he half shouted.
"Yeah, what's the big deal?"
"The big deal is that their party is like the official start of the school year. Jocks and cool kids only. This is her third year doing it. I can't believe they invited you. Please tell me you didn't say anything to them about being gay."
I laughed, thinking about the conversation we had on the street. "Well, I actually did. We had a little conversation about it when we first met. I think she thought I was kind of cute and then she just asked if I was gay."
"AND YOU TOLD HER YOU WERE?!??!"
"Yeah, Chad, there's no reason to lie about it. In fact, I'm pretty sure they want to fix me up with someone, or at least Mark does."
"I just can't believe this..."
"Well, believe it. So, I guess I'll see you there?" I asked.
"I wish. To be honest, I've never been invited. I was calling to see if you wanted to catch a movie with Dave and Aaron later."
I finally realized why this was a big deal for him. "Dude, let them go to the damn movie and you come with me."
"They invited you, not you plus someone else."
"Hang on," and I texted Molly if it would be OK if I brought a friend who went to West. She responded 'sure'. "OK, she says I can bring someone. Be at my place at 615 and we can walk over there."
"Walk? Are you kidding? It's like 105 outside."
"Fine, then you can drive me. Just come on and go. It'll be fun."
"OK, I'll see you at 615."
I put down the phone, then got on the computer for a bit. I talked to Richard and Todd for a while, and then Lane and Josh. I asked Josh how my mother was doing.
"She's doing OK, man. I mean, she misses you and Cat bad but she knows it's all going to pass. It's just hard on her, you know?"
"Yeah,"I told him, "It's been hard on us too, but please don't tell her that or she'll just get more concerned."
"What are you doing tonight? Want Lane and I to come up and take out?" he asked. "No, I got invited to a party earlier today. I need to make some friends, you know, so I'm not a complete outcast. Oh, hey, you're going to love this..."
"What?" he replied, curious.
"The guy who invited me to the party was all about you when he found out I was from Ouichita."
"No joke?"
"No joke. When I told him you were my brother the first thing he asked was if you'd moved too."
Josh just laughed, "What did you tell him?"
"I just said you were happy where you were, with my mother and your father."
Before we got off the call, I made him promise to hug Neil and mother for me, I told him I'd give Cat a hug from him.
We ended up making some plans for Sunday. By the time I shut off the computer, it was after 330, so I laid down with Henry for a nap. About 5 I got up, dressed, and then went downstairs to wait for Chad who arrived at 610. I thought to myself, 'Well, I guess someone is excited about getting to go to a big boy party'.
When I opened the door, it was all I could do not to double over laughing. He was right, it was 105 outside and he was wearing chinos, a white button down, and a blazer.
"Man, it's a pool party. Why are you dressed for brunch at the club?" I asked him.
He started to say something, then stopped himself and just sighed, deflated. He finally looked up at me and said, "I don't know what to do. I've never done this before."
I just smiled back at him, "Come on."
We went up to my room. He may have been taller than me but he was skinny so something I had would probably fit him. Turned out, I was right. It was a pair of board shorts and a t-shirt Josh had given me that fit beautifully, it was just too long on me. On his lanky body, it worked. Sort of.
On the shoes, we were screwed. No two ways around it. He was a size 14 and I was a size 11. I told him just to wear the loafers he had on without socks.
He looked at himself in the mirror and I just asked, "What?"
His response was pretty heartbreaking. "I'm a nerd. I can't help it. I wish like hell I could be more like you, but..."
"More like me?"
"Yeah, at ease with yourself. Not self conscious. You know?"
"No, I don't. I'm self conscious as hell. As for being at ease with myself, it's all an elaborate facade, held in place by therapy. I have an anxiety disorder so what you see as confidence is really work."
He just looked it me, his face full of disbelief. "I had no idea, man. I'm sorry."
"Don't be. I'm cool it, I just didn't want you to think you were the only one who over thought things. Now, we need to do something about your hair. You have anything in it?"
"Yeah, some gel."
"Fuck, OK, let's just wet it and slick it back."
After I was done I had to admit, he looked pretty decent. By that point it was already 630 and I told him we needed to go.
On our way out, we ran into my father who asked where we were going.
I put on my best smile, "I met a girl who goes to Plano West this morning while I was jogging. They have this pool party thing before school starts. Chad was already going so he agreed to pick me up so I could ride with him."
He looked at Chad, "These kids are friends of yours?"
Thankfully, he picked up on my lead, "Yes sir, Molly is a senior with me and her brother Mark is a junior. They actually live pretty close by."
My father just shrugged, "OK, well have a good time. Be home by midnight."
"Yes sir," I replied as Chad and I walked out the front door.
I could tell he was nervous and said something to him. He seemed to be most concerned about making a fool out of himself.
"Dude, just don't drink too much and you'll be fine. If you start with beer, stick with it. If you start with punch, stick with it. Just make sure you have a glass of water in between beers or drinks, got it?"
He just nodded yes as we pulled in behind a car parked along the street. We got out and made our way through the back gate, following some other kids.
I decided we needed to find Molly and after a little searching did. She gave me a big hug and then looked at Chad, then said, "Glad you could make it. I need to talk to Rob for a second so go grab a beer or some punch. If you want regular booze, it's at the other end of the deck where the bar is set up."
He smiled and said, "Cool," then made his way toward the bar.
She looked at me with a smirk on her face, "So what's the story there?"
"His mom and my dad are partners in the same firm. I figured he could use a little time off from being the perfect son/geek."
She laughed, "It's Chad, isn't it?"
"Yeah, and go easy on him, I think he kind of has a thing for you."
"Shit, he can join the club. But don't worry, I'll make sure he has some fun."
Right then Mark walked over and clapped my back, "Dude, glad you made it. Come on, I'll introduce you to some of the people here from Shelton."
I grabbed some punch on my way down with Mark to the pool and met Ethan, Ileana, and Robin. Mark pointedly told them to take care of me. So, I got to do the new kid song and dance and after about ten minutes, I stowed my shirt and hopped in the pool with them. Ethan was on my ass for not playing football and I just laughed at him.
"Dude, you're playing varsity this year?" I asked him.
"I wish, need an extra 20 pounds to hit that. JV."
"So, I'd need an extra 60 or 80?" I said, smiling.
"Good point, dude. Sorry. You just look pretty built."
"Just need a shitload more mass. Nah, I played but I realized last year that was it for me. Didn't really feel like warming a bench."
We chatted a little longer, then decided to get out of the pool to go back up and get more drinks. Ileana and Robin waited for us while we made our way to the punch and the keg.
While we were in line, he introduced a few more people to me and my head started to swim. Too much was happening, too fast and I was a little overwhelmed. Plus, it was hot as hell so when I got the punch for Robin and me, I snagged a bottle of water as well. Ethan laughed and said, 'good idea', grabbing one for himself.
We made our way back to the girls who were talking to some other people from Shelton and who were now my new friends, simply because I was hanging with Ethan and the girls. After they left, it was the four of us again and I started to feel, I don't know, strange. I couldn't put my finger on it, but there was something familiar about all this. I felt, excited, maybe even giddy and then it finally hit me. I was in the dream. This was me, right now, living out the dream I'd had so many times.
We continued to talk and Ethan said something that made Ileana crack up, I can't even remember the joke. As we laughed, I felt the tap on my shoulder and started to turn around. I'd never been past this point and it turned out the person who tapped me was Mark, and next to him I noticed in my peripheral vision was a guy who looked as big or bigger than Josh.
Mark looked at me with this huge smile on his face as he put his arm around the guy standing next to him.
"Rob, I'd like you to meet my best friend, Toby Martin."
I turned slightly to him and really took my first good look as I stuck my hand out. He was really built, more like a hybrid of Josh and Bruce. He had dirty blond hair, cut close, a clear complexion and a light but even tan. More to the point, when he grabbed my hand, I could feel electricity, along with the roughness of his oversized palm. I realize now the wish I'd made in seventh grade, when I'd introduced Josh and Lane, came true right then.
I've heard people say that your life can change in an instant and, as I looked into Toby Martin's green eyes, I knew mine had.
Thanks for reading! Any comments can be sent to doncornelius69 at yahoo dot com.
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