Disclaimer: The usual rules apply here. If you aren't legal in your area to be reading material(non erotic, mind you) about homosexuals and the activities they may or may not participate in, then please don't read. This story has been copyrighted and is not to be used elsewhere in any way without the express permission of the author (that would be me). For everyone else, enjoy!
Wayward People
Chapter Twenty Six-"Beneath the Wide Blue Sky"
What?
God, I didn't need this shit.
I did my part.
I called my parents and told them that Evan had called me from the hospital so that his parents could know where he was.
I did what I was supposed to.
Apparently, Evan finally got a taste of his own special brand of miserable medicine.
A beat down.
See, up until one week before Troy had come along, I'd never been punched by anyone in my entire life.
But Evan felt like he just needed to change that, and thus began his terrible reign of misery.
I hated him for that.
People always said `what goes around comes around' but unfortunately, they never clarified a when and to what person.
I just figured what was going around was coming back around to me, in tenfold because of Evan.
But somehow, that saying came true.
Because someone had beat Evan up.
I didn't know all the details.
I just knew what my parents told me.
That someone had beat Evan up.
Evan was talking about what happened apparently.
And I think his parents might have even called the police.
It was all one big mess.
And how did I feel about it all?
I was happy.
I was happy that someone had broken two of Evan's ribs.
I was happy that he had two black eyes, one of which was swollen shut.
I was happy that he was going to need to stay in the hospital for the next week or two.
I was happy.
And I wasn't going to allow myself to feel bad about that.
He deserved it.
What went around definitely came back around.
Tenfold!
"Are you gonna go see him?" Troy asked.
I turned around to finish straightening up my tie.
"We have church, remember?" I replied, turning back around.
"You know what I meant," he replied.
Yeah, I did.
I hadn't forgotten that Evan had asked me to come see him in the hospital.
In fact, I hadn't stopped thinking about it since he'd asked me.
Mostly because I wanted to know why.
I wanted to know why without really knowing why.
I knew that if I wanted answers, I'd have to go see him, and I wasn't sure I wanted to do that.
Still, I had to wonder why he wanted to see me.
"Evan may be in a hospital," I started. "But the guy definitely doesn't deserve any bedside visits."
I noticed, from the mirror, Troy shaking his head in agreement.
It was funny, but it almost seemed like hearing me say that I wasn't going to visit a guy who could have been on deaths door, actually made him happy.
"You know, these past couple of months, I was actually considering...leaving," Troy spoke up.
Now that came as a total shock.
I turned around to face him.
"It's just you were so different," he continued. "I thought you were trying to destroy me or something with the way you acted sometimes."
Well he wasn't too far from the truth.
Troy had done quite a few things to piss me off in my irritable mood swings.
Things he still had yet to explain.
But I had since overcome my villainous turn of behavior and had turned over a new leaf.
At the very least, I could understand where he was coming from.
"Look, Troy I don't.....I don't really know if I get you," I started as best as I could. "And I'm not sure I ever will. But the way you treat your.....the way you treat your family says a lot about the way you'll probably run your own."
That is to say, if I was even going to have one.
I may have been over my funk, but I was far from believing in any proverbial happy endings anymore.
I wasn't sure whether or not I was ever going to be happy again.
At least, not romantically.
Besides, my love life and hot guys were the two furthest things from my mind lately.
"So I'm family now huh?" Troy asked, with a slight smile on his face.
I smiled back at him while finishing up with my tie.
"Well you don't really talk about your own," I replied. "Maybe you wanted a new one."
Maybe he did.
I didn't know.
Did that make me indecisive?
"You think Reverend Thomas is gonna talk about what happened to Evan?"
Troy asked, changing the subject.
"How could he?" I replied. "I mean we don't even know what really happened to Evan."
Oh but what I did know should have been music to my ears.
I should have been running the streets rejoicing.
Instead, I wasn't sure how to feel.
Maybe that was because I actually had a conscience now.
Or at least, I had my old one back.
"Yeah well it may be God's day today and all, but I say if he has to grant anyone a miracle it be all of us," Troy started standing up. "By having him not pull through."
We didn't know if anything was seriously wrong with Evan
He couldn't have been too messed up if he had enough strength to call me.
I was still just trying to get past how much that actually affected me.
"Come on," Troy started, standing up. "I smell breakfast."
"I've always wondered why they would call it that," I replied as Troy and I started for the stairs. "It's neither a break nor is it fast. Unless you're eating cereal."
I couldn't exactly be sure, but I think this was going to be the first Sunday I attended church without Evan being present.
Not that him being around meant much other than him having opportunities to corner me in the church restroom, among other crimes.
And while I was on that subject, I had to wonder it I should have been reading more into that whole situation.
After all, I was pretty sure that whole thing had been Evan, not Andrew's, idea. And if it was his idea, that meant......what exactly?
Maybe I just didn't want to say it but when it came to Evan, I also didn't want to even think about it.
Who knows what goes through his warped mind?
"Hey," Sienna greeted us. "You guys hear about what happened to Evan?"
"Yeah," Max replied. "He's in the hospital."
For a moment it actually looked like Sienna was sad about that. But what she said next totally squashed that theory.
"Should we throw a celebration party?" she asked, with a strangely upbeat look on her face.
"We could call a voodoo priestess. Make sure he doesn't recover," Max threw in for extra spite.
"Or we could put some air into his IV tubes," Troy added. "Like on Kill Bill."
I looked over the three of them, slightly shocked.
"Guys, we're in a church. Remember?" I said.
The three of them turned to me with strange looks on their faces.
"Mike, you of all people should be happy about this," Max started. "I mean, after everything he put you through-"
"The guy doesn't deserve your sympathy," Troy cut in.
I looked over at Troy who was standing arms crossed actually looking upset that I cared that they were being so callous about this entire situation.
"Maybe but-"
"Well then no buts, Mike," Sienna spoke. "And what's wrong with you?"
"What?"
"Well I mean first at school you wanted to look for him when he supposedly went missing, this coming after having spent two months as his right hand man. And now this?"
I looked over at her.
How was I the only one that had any sense right now?
Regardless of how I felt about Evan, which wasn't even the topic at hand right now, the bottom line was that we were still in a church.
It was supposed to be a sacred place that you were supposed to uphold at least a small amount of respect, if not for at least the people who did believe in the church and its authority, even if you didn't believe yourself.
That's all this came down to.
Respect.
And I had enough respect for myself and for Evan not to make light of his situation.
He at least deserved that much.
Everyone just kind of stared at me like they were shocked to see me behave in such a way for a little while before we all heard Reverend Thomas asking everyone to take their seats for service to start.
I didn't know what to say or do other than to just go and find my seat.
They may not have understood my behavior.
Hell, I didn't understand it myself.
But not understanding the situation sure beat the hell out of having to talk about it.
And right now, that was the last thing that I wanted to do.
"Well, good morning everyone," Reverend Thomas started.
Saying that I really wasn't able to pay attention during Reverend Thomas's sermon was an understatement, to say the least.
It seemed like the more I tried not to think about Evan, the more I did.
I was angry at myself for thinking about him so much.
Troy was right, he didn't deserve so much attention from me.
But unbeknownst to him, he was getting attention.
Lots of it.
And that fact alone scared me.
"Hey....um...look, about earlier," Max started.
I had to stop him before he started.
"Max it's okay," I started. "You guys were right. Evan was horrible to me and a lot of other people and doesn't really deserve any sympathy from any of us."
I wanted to say `from anyone' but there had to be someone out there who sympathized with Evan other than his parents.
I was just trying my hardest not to let one of those people be me.
"But we shouldn't have said those things in church," Max said, sounding like a wounded puppy dog.
"You're right," Troy started, standing up. "We should have said them outside."
Both of us looked over at him as he turned to us with the same unreadable look he always put on his face whenever he didn't want anyone to know how he was feeling.
"Troy-"
"They guy's a jerk," Troy spoke. "Am I the only one who gets that?"
"Troy, we get it," Max started. "It's just-"
"What, the laugh train stops when you get to church?" Troy spoke. "If God really wanted to punish anyone for `defiling' his holy place, he would have started with Evan."
I'm sure Max realized just as I did that Troy made some sense just then.
But that was beside the point right now, something else we all should have known.
"I can't take this right now," I sighed, leaving both of them.
I heard them call after me.
I even think they started to come after me.
But I had cut my way through a large group of people who were now blocking all paths to me.
I was trying to get straight out and was going to walk home to clear my mind.
Unfortunately, I only managed to get as far as the parking lot.
"Wait wait wait Carson, what's the hurry?"
It was Clark.
He'd been sitting on the edge of Andrew's truck but upon seeing me come out the front doors of the church he had basically ran from there to me and got in my way.
Everyone else he was with, my old hang out buddies Andrew, Janet, Shannon, Frank and the others followed suit.
I let out a sigh and turned to face him.
Maybe a few months ago when I was a different person would something like this have intimidated me but gone were those days entirely now.
"What do you people want?" I asked.
"I take it you heard about your butt buddy Evan?" Clark started.
"Yeah, he's in the hospital," I replied. "So what?"
"So aren't you gonna go see him?" Clark asked.
I was curious as to why he'd blocked me like an angry linebacker from getting home just to ask me about whether or not I was going to visit a person he knew I had a bad history with.
I mean, if anything the fact that he kissed me should have been enough to repel me.
"Are you gonna see him?" I asked.
"I don't visit fags in the hospital," Clark spoke as if that was common knowledge. "I just thought since Evan was your boyfriend and all-"
"Clark, if you aren't gonna start speaking like you have some sense, I'm just gonna go."
Clark smirked at me and crossed his arms.
I took a moment to get a good look at what was going on.
Of course none of them cared about Evan.
Why would they?
In less than a week, Clark had taken Evan's place and Andrew had found someone else to play sidekick to.
I don't know why, but that offended me a little.
I probably should have left when I had the chance.
"What's with you guys?" I asked. "Your friend is in the hospital and you all are more worried about how to split the power shift in the popularity chain of command?"
A few people looked down, slightly ashamed, fully aware that I was right.
But of course Clark was smirking at me.
"I understand you needing to stick up for you boyfriend and all," Clark started putting his arm around me. "It's completely understandable."
"Clark, get your hands off me, now," I barked in a low growl.
"Relax-"
I tried flipping Clark around, which would have worked had Andrew not stepped over and pushed me over to the flatbed of the truck.
They had me until I was in it, then all of them surrounded the truck probably partly trying to prevent anyone from seeing what was going on and partly trying to keep me here.
"You think I don't know all about you?" Clark started, now that he could speak freely knowing there wasn't much I could do to stop him.
I didn't reply although I was curious to see what he thought he knew about me.
"Everyone knows it's your fault Pete Reynolds turned gay," Clark continued. "And it's probably your fault he died too."
I tried lunging at Clark but Frank and one of the other guys held me down and in place.
How could he talk about Pete like that?
Especially when he wasn't even around to defend himself?
They were all so horrible!
"But the last person I thought would be gay is Evan," Clark continued. "Obviously you're doing that too."
"People don't turn gay, Clark," I spoke through gritted teeth.
"In this town, that seems to be exactly what happens," Clark replied. "Gets you wondering who's next you know?"
"You spent enough time with me," I said. "Maybe you're next?"
"Listen fag," Clark spoke, grabbing my shirt.
"What are you gonna do? Hit me?" I asked.
"As a matter of fact, I am!" Clark exclaimed, punching me in the face.
I fell back as I felt Clark trying to get a better hold of me.
No one around was doing anything other than trying to keep look out while watching the fight.
There was some kind of tool in the back of the truck that I tried reaching for but I felt Clark pulling me back.
He was about to punch me again before I felt him being pulled off of me.
I sat up and looked around.
People were clearing from around the truck.
I stood up to notice Troy and Clark in a stance ready to fight.
"What's the deal Sienna?" Janet started. "You a fag hag now?"
"No Janet," Sienna replied. "I'd never take your future career from you."
"Mike!" Max exclaimed, rushing over to me. "Hey. You okay?"
He reached out and touched my bruised eye gently.
"Yeah...I..."
My attention was suddenly focused on Troy and Clark.
Usually Troy was so unreadable except for the occasional time when he wanted people to see how he felt.
But looking into his eyes just then.....
All I saw was rage.
He really looked upset.
I stood up slowly.
"Troy..."
He didn't reply.
Instead he lunged at Clark so hard and so fast that he fell backwards, landing on top of him.
Then he just started punching Clark.
Like he was crazy or possessed.
I'd never seen Troy like this before.
It was scary.
He just kept going and going, even with some of the guys trying to pull him off.
"Troy!" Sienna exclaimed.
It was almost like I was frozen in time.
Everyone was reacting to something but me.
I don't know why I wasn't moving.
Maybe I wanted Troy to beat Clark up.
But what Troy was doing was going far beyond that.
What he was doing was more brutal.
If someone didn't stop him, he was going to kill Clark, no doubt about it.
Yet, he kept going and going.
Until Reverend Thomas practically flung Troy off of Clark, along with my father.
I hadn't even seen people coming, but they were here now, wondering what was going on.
"Get off of me!" Troy was shouting, thrashing about so much, he could rip both my father and Reverend Thomas's arms off if he tried hard enough.
"Oh my god!" my mother shrieked, rushing over to my side. "Mike, what's going on?"
I looked down at her and over at Troy, who was being coaxed to calm down.
"That's what I'd like to know."
No doubt about it, Troy was in trouble.
He'd hurt Clark so badly, he needed a few stitches.
No broken bones or anything like that and his face was definitely going to be completely fine in a few weeks, but he was pretty messed up now.
You'd think Troy would have some explanation for going over the edge like that, but apparently, he was pleading the fifth.
My mother had made Max, Sienna and I go home while she my and my dad stayed with Troy and Reverend Thomas at the church to try and get him to talk.
But once they had all finally come back home, I'd learned that he wasn't talking to anyone.
"We need to get in touch with his parents!" my mom shouted from the kitchen.
And she never shouted.
That's how serious this all was.
"We need to figure out what happened first, Evelyn," my dad replied.
Max, Sienna and I were eavesdropping from the closet behind the kitchen.
Even with normal voices, it would have been perfectly easy to understand them from in the closet, but because they were shouting, none of us had to try to hard to listen.
"For all we know what's wrong may be the problem!" my mom replied. "Maybe he's on some type of medication. Or drugs!"
"We'd have known by now if he were on medication and all of our kids are good kids," dad replied. "They're not using drugs."
"How do you know that?"
"Evelyn!"
"Why this family?" my mom spoke, significantly more shout-free this time. "Why do our kids have to be going through all of this?"
There was a moment when none of us heard anything at all before they started again.
"I know we've all had to deal with a lot," my dad started. "But aren't you always the one that says that God has plans for everyone?"
"Was it God's plan to have my son fall in love with another boy whom he took from this Earth?" my mom asked. "He may not have asked to be gay, but none of them deserve any of this."
"You're right," my dad replied. "But we've handled it all on our own all along. So let's just try not to worry Troy's parents with this problem too. We can get past this-"
"He almost killed a boy-"
"He did not," my dad replied. "Boys are gonna fight. It happens."
"In church parking lots?" my mom asked.
We all heard my dad sigh before he continued.
"Like I said, we'll get to the bottom of this," he said. "Slowly and patiently like we've always done."
I could argue that statement three ways to Sunday but they did have effective methods of parenting when they were thinking in their right mind.
None of us heard anything for a while so we assumed they were done.
"I thought they were gonna kick him out," Sienna spoke, sounding relieved.
"They'd never do that," I replied.
"They did it to you, didn't they?" Sienna replied.
I looked down.
Out of a moment of weakness, yes they had, but they'd more than made up for that and now it was time to deal with these new issues.
"I can understand why Troy would want to protect you from Clark," Sienna started. "You're like brothers now. But....it was like he was really trying to kill Clark back then."
More silence.
Which gave me some time to think.
There was a fury in Troy's eyes.
Maybe he'd been building everything up and finally snapped.
It happens.
But....it just seemed like there was something more....
The silence came to an abrupt halt once the door to the closet was flown open and Troy came into view.
"Huh," he said, shaking his head before reaching behind me to grab his jacket.
"Troy...."
He didn't respond and just put his jacket on heading for the door.
"Troy, where are you going?" Sienna asked, as she, Max and I all followed him towards the door.
"Out," was all he said before he had a hand on the door.
My mom and dad came out of the kitchen just then.
"Troy, hey bud where you going?" my dad asked.
Troy stopped and looked down, not bothering to turn around to face anyone.
"I'll be back," was all he said before opening the door.
"Troy, no wait you can't leave," my mom objected. "Troy.....Troy!"
And that was about when the door slammed shut and the silence returned, no one really saying anything at all.
We all just kind of stood there for a few minutes before I turned around.
I had meant to say something, but I couldn't find any words that would be appropriate for this situation.
And then I didn't even know what I was about to say previously before something else came over me.
I didn't know what it was but I was feeling different all of a sudden.
Like I just needed to go.
I had to get out.
I couldn't stay here anymore.
I turned around and headed straight for the door.
"Mike!" I heard several people calling after me.
But I couldn't stop to oblige to anyone even if I wanted to.
I had to go.
Evan opened his eyes and nearly jumped out of the bed when he realized who was sitting beside his bed.
He looked over at Troy, not really knowing what to say.
"I beat up your friend today," were his first words.
Evan just stared at Troy trying to get a grasp on everything around him.
It was dark.
He could tell that much from the window a few feet away from him.
He must have slept all day again.
Troy, he noticed, looked indifferent.
Like he wasn't even here, even though he was.
He wasn't looking up.
Just down like he had a lot on his mind.
A lot of things he regretted.
He knew that much because it was exactly how he'd been feeling lately.
"W...What?"
Troy sighed and put his hands in his jacket pockets.
"Clark? I beat him up," Troy replied.
Evan didn't know what to say.
He was still mostly shocked that he was even here right now.
"Um..."
"Because of you," Troy replied, with a chuckle. "Can you believe that?"
Evan was still feeling so lost with Troy being here.
This whole thing was more overwhelming than he thought it'd be.
"Hu....Troy-"
"You leave and somebody takes over your role as sole tormentor to Mike," Troy started, looking up at Evan finally. "Why do you people do that?"
Evan didn't know what to say or what was going on but he did know that he wanted a firmer grasp on the whole situation.
"I think I understand it now," Troy started, taking his hands out of his pockets and shifting in his seat. "It's because we all have something we need to protect. You two do that the best way you know how."
"Look, Troy-"
"I didn't come here to listen to any of your excuses," Troy raised his voice, standing up and walking over to the window, looking out of it.
"Then...why did you come here?" Evan asked.
Troy stayed silent for a little bit before responding.
"He wants to see you, Mike," Troy started. "I can tell."
Evan looked down before looking back up.
"He does-"
"And despite me trying to convince him that it's stupid......he's still mixed about everything."
"Look, I don't-"
"He's a stronger person than he was, but even the strongest people can fall on their asses with weak people around."
Evan sighed.
That much he knew.
Now, at least.
Troy turned around and faced Evan.
"So, he's probably gonna come by here and you're probably gonna go on about how sorry you are and more shit like that," he started. "And when he does, you're gonna say your stuff and then stay the hell away from him from now on."
Evan just stared at Troy.
"And this time, just so there's no confusion about what I mean," Troy started towards the door, stopping when he was there. "If you don't stay away from him, I WILL kill you."
And with that, he left, leaving Evan with a lot to think about.
I didn't know what I was going to do.
About a lot of things.
But this much I knew...I needed help.
I just couldn't stop thinking about how much easier things would have been for me if Pete were still around.
For all intensive purposes, he was my rock.
Even when we had our bad times, I knew that I couldn't live without him.
Even when we'd broken up, I knew that if I didn't have him in my life, I wouldn't want anyone else.
And now, I needed Pete more than I'd ever needed him.
That was probably what had possessed me to come to his grave.
Because I needed to talk to him.
And that was the only way I knew how.
It was a little chilly outside. Probably because I had left without grabbing a jacket.
But I don't think that would have been enough to get rid of the cold feeling inside of me.
I just felt so lost.
Overwhelmed by everything.
And I was afraid of what I might do if I didn't get some help soon.
Despite the fact that I was in a graveyard, I felt oddly at ease with my surroundings.
It wasn't at all a `movie' graveyard, as it was actually very well kept.
Like a golf course with graves.
I guess I felt at ease because I knew that I was with Pete.
And he knew it too.
"God gives out advice too, you know," Pete started. "Ugh, you think they could've mentioned I was a fantastic baseball player somewhere on there."
He was leaning against his tombstone looking down at it.
"I'm mad at God," I replied, furrowing my eyebrows at him. "Or at least, I was."
"I know," Pete replied. "He wasn't too happy about that."
He started walking slowly and I stood up and started walking beside him.
He looked great.
Had all of his hair as well.
He was my Pete.
My boyfriend.
"What's this about, Mike?" Pete asked, crossing his arms.
"What?" I asked.
"This grudge you have against Evan."
I couldn't believe he was asking me that.
He knew all the reasons I had to hate Evan.
"Pete, you know what he did to me," I started.
"Uh huh. I also know what staying angry at a person in times like these does to you," Pete replied.
Of course he'd know that I spiraled out of control after....because I never got the chance to say I was sorry.
But I didn't need to apologize to Evan.
If anything, he owed me several hundred apologies.
I owed him nothing.
So I wasn't sure what Pete was getting at exactly.
"Pete, he wants me to come visit him in the hospital," I said.
"To say that he's sorry," Pete replied. "But what if he never gets the chance? What if something happens to him? Or worse, to you?"
Why would I care what happened to Evan Parker?
Of course, that was part of the problem.
For some strange reason, I did care.
And I just didn't want to.
"I don't-"
"Forgiveness, Mike," Pete replied. "That's what you've been seeking and that's what he's seeking now."
Forgiveness.
It sounded so strange now but before I think that was what I had wanted all along, and knew that I couldn't have it.
Knowing that I'd never be able to tell Pete that I was sorry for breaking up with him when he needed me the most.....and knowing that I could never ask his forgiveness.....
I guess it just drove me over the edge.
"Oh and FYI, I do forgive you," Pete. "I have to or else the big guy would shuck me down below."
I think I knew deep down that Pete did forgive me.
But the thing was, I just wanted to here him say it.
And now that I had.
"Pete, thanks," I replied.
"It's what I'm here for," Pete replied, avoiding stepping on the flowers to someone's grave.
I felt better.
And besides that, I felt like I knew what I needed to do now.
I had a direction to go in, and I had to stay that way.
"You know, while I'm here, I should tell you...you might wanna get a haircut," Pete started, looking me over. "You really let yourself go the past few months."
It was true, I had.
I'd let my hair, on my head and facial, grow pretty long.
I guess it was time for a haircut and shave.
"Although, I like the stubble on the face," Pete spoke.
I could sense some undertones in his voice but we both knew he couldn't really get into detail.
"So, what's heaven like?" I asked, turning to face Pete.
Pete stopped and faced me as well.
"Well, it's-"
"Mike!"
All of a sudden I couldn't hear Pete.
I saw him moving his lips but I couldn't hear him.
Probably because someone nearby was calling my name too loud and wouldn't shut the hell up.
"Mike, wake up!"
No, I was here with Pete.
Whoever was calling me needed to wake up and get a life!
I mean, couldn't they see that I was busy right now?
"Mike, it's me, Sienna!"
Shut up then, Sienna!
And who screams at somebody in a graveyard anyway?
I only looked away from Pete for a second but when I looked back he was gone.
Not only was he gone but I was laying on the ground.
The cold, hard, grassy ground.
"What the..."
"Mike, did you...did you fall asleep?" Sienna asked.
I looked around.
I was back at Pete's grave.
"Pete....he's....."
I stopped myself, realizing that it was another dream.
I knew that Pete was dead, I just thought he could appear to me in life like a guardian angel or something.
Apparently not.
But dreaming about him was enough for me.
"I come here a lot too," Sienna started. "Ever since...well....that's how I knew to find you here."
Sienna was bent down next to me on the ground, but as I sat up, I noticed Max standing just a few feet away from the both of us.
I stood up and helped Sienna up, looking around.
I definitely knew what I needed to do now.
"I need to go to the hospital," I said.
I was determined and neither one of them was gonna stop me.
I was prepared to have to argue them both but when nothing came I stopped and looked them over.
"If that's what you need to do, we won't stop you Mike," Max spoke, joining Sienna and I.
I looked them over again.
I was glad they weren't going to try and stop me.
"But we're coming with you," Sienna spoke.
I could tell that she meant that in more of a supporting me type of way rather than going because she wanted to.
"Okay, I replied, taking one last look at Pete's grave before the three of us headed off.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't at least a little nervous as we made our way down the hallway to Evan's room.
I don't even really know why.
Granted, this was the same guy that made a living out of torturing and humiliating me, but I also knew that he couldn't do either of those things even if he wanted to with his condition.
And I got a chance to see for myself just what kind of condition Evan was in once we reached his room.
He was still in bad shape.
He had an IV tube connected to one of his arms.
His face was pretty bruised and cut and his other arm looked like someone had stepped on it and wouldn't get off.
When my parents told me someone had beat Evan up, they should have said someone beat the shit out of him.
And if Troy hadn't been with me when it happened, I might even figured it to be him.
I knew from today that he was capable of this and much worse.
"Um.." I started.
Evan had been looking out the window so he hadn't known we'd arrived.
But he turned to face us as soon as I had started talking.
He looked a little shocked to see all of us.
He'd probably already figured we weren't coming.
"Uh...hi.....all of you," Evan spoke, sitting up. "Come in."
None of us moved.
"Please?"
All of us exchanged looks before filing into the room slowly.
Sienna stood on one side of Evan while I stood on another.
Max stood away from him and actually looked like he wanted to add to the bruises and wounds Evan already had.
I knew I was going to need to keep and eye on him.
Although, now that I was here, I wasn't exactly sure where to start, let alone what to say.
"Didn't think any of you would come," Evan spoke.
He sounded different for some reason.
Less threatening and imposing.
It kinda put me at ease that he was so calm.
At least I knew he wasn't in a malicious mood.
"What happened to you Evan?" Sienna asked, getting the ball rolling.
Evan sighed and looked down.
It almost looked as if he didn't want to get into it.
But when he looked back up, at me in particular, he started.
"Well for starters, I kissed Carson here," he started.
"We know," Max replied, sounding so bitter, a deaf person would have been able to tell.
"Why?" Sienna asked.
Evan let out a sigh.
"I'm still trying to figure all that out," he replied. "I mean....I don't know why it happened..."
"How did you get beat up Evan?" Sienna asked.
"I was....in a funk...I ran away...went downtown...somewhere I shouldn't have been," Evan continued.
I knew exactly what and where he was talking about because I could relate to that aspect of the story.
"I ran into some guys who...well let's just say saw me in the wrong part of town, made some assumptions, and beat me worse than I've ever beat anyone."
"Deserved it, ass," Max mumbled walking over to the window.
Evan looked over at him.
"I'm not gonna argue with you there Max," he said. "I know I got what I deserved....I probably deserved worse."
"Got that right," Max added.
"No wait a second," I started.
Finally I had my nerves under control and was ready to speak.
"No one deserves this," I continued looking him over. "Not even you."
"But I was so mean to you," Evan replied. "I called you a fag."
"Which was true," I replied. "Only, I wouldn't exactly use that word."
"But...I-"
"I have to learn to get past all that and just forgive you," I cut him off. "It's the only way I'm gonna be able to live with myself and it's the only way I can be happy."
Because I didn't want this grudge hanging over me.
I wasn't a vengeful or spiteful person.
Evan stared at me for a little while before laying back.
"I don't know if I'd be able to forgive you if I was you and you were me," he said.
"You don't have to," I replied. "You're your own person. That's what makes everyone so different."
Everyone was looking over at me.
I felt a little like a prophet just then.
Given everything I'd been through the past seven months, I knew a lot about what I was talking about.
"Well...thanks," Evan replied. "I was gonna ask you to...you know. But I'm glad you do anyway. And I want you to know that I'm not gonna mess with you anymore in school. With any of you."
And then he looked over at Sienna and Max.
"I take it you guys don't forgive me," he said, actually sounding a little hurt.
"Damn right," Max spoke. "Are we done now?"
I looked over at him and then down at Evan.
"Yeah....we are," I replied.
Max said nothing more as he headed out the open door.
"It's just.....it's gonna take us some time," Sienna spoke.
"I know," Evan replied, touching Sienna's hand.
Sienna looked down at his hand and over at him, then me, before slowly walking out the door.
I inhaled and exhaled before patting Evan on the legs.
"Well, try to get some sleep," I started. "You really do look bad."
I had started towards the door when I heard Evan call out my name.
I turned around.
"Listen....about you coming here-"
"Look, I already told you I forgive you-"
"No that's not it," he said.
I turned around and walked back over to the side of his bed.
"What then?" I asked.
"Troy....he came by here," he started.
"What?"
"He told me you'd probably come by. And he was right," Evan replied.
That shocked the hell out of me.
But why would he tell Evan that?
Why would he even visit him?
"I know I'm the last person you should trust," Evan started. "But if I were you, I'd be careful around him."
I looked at how serious his face looked.
"There's a lot of shit you don't know about him," he continued. "I don't wanna see you getting hurt. Anymore."
I figured he was gonna say more but when he just sat back looking up at the ceiling, I left the room slowly, feeling disoriented.
"Hey, everything okay?" Max asked.
If things had been okay, if even for a short time before, they certainly weren't now.
If there was one thing I knew about Evan was that if he was lying about something, I could tell.
But if he wasn't lying, I could still tell.
And back then, he was as serious as he could possibly be.
"Yeah," I replied. "Everything's fine."
But if Evan was even partially right in his assumption, which he was about me not knowing much about Troy, then everything wasn't going to be okay.
Not in the least.
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Personal email: crossingboi2004@yahoo.com
Copyright 2006