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This first chapter will be short, as it is just setting up the story. I will update as much as possible, but I am currently working full time and a full time student. Thanks!
Wayward by Dexter Thaddius Fields
I'd known for a very long time that I felt about men the way I was supposed to feel about women. Growing up I'd felt urges that I knew to be sinful, and fought them to the point of exhaustion. I tried to deter these thoughts by harming myself anytime they arose, but to no avail, the urges continued. These urges only got worse as I entered high school and participated in sports. When we changed after games, I would let my eyes linger almost too long, but I didn't look like a typical fairy, so I was able to get away with it.
I hoped that it was just a phase, and I would grow out of it. I wanted to be the man I was raised to be, a family man, with a wife and kids. My last hope was the military. I figured that if there was anyway for me to start shooting straight, that was it. I was right for a little while, after my initial enrollment, I was constantly exhausted and too tired to think of anything besides my own survival. However, the point of training is to condition yourself to be better, and with that conditioning my body awakened into a pot of sinful and primal desire that I was no longer able to control. I began dropping very obvious hints around the barracks and showers and in no time I had lost my virginity and all cares in the world. I was happier than I had ever been. I experienced oral sex first, both giving and getting, with anal shortly after. I discovered I was into voyeurism, the thrill of getting caught was too much for me to handle sometimes.
Until I got caught, by enemy troops. We didn't even hear them approaching. The night air shattered, just for a moment, and it was quickly restored to its near-silent cyclical rhythm of soft rain on the nearby foliage. It would be days before anyone discovered two young men, naked as the day they were born, shoved underneath some bushes at the edge of a forest.
I woke to strange feelings. I couldn't be sure what exactly was happening, I felt weightless but as if I were made of the densest of steel. My eyes would not open, nor would sound come when I tried to cry for help.
Is this death?' I wondered, Am I dead and this is what it is like forever?'
I tried again to cry out, to move, and my head managed to tilt ever so slightly at first, and then faster, I fell over. The impact knocked some sort of covering off of my head and out of my throat, and I was able to open my eyes and breathe...at least I thought I was breathing.
I still couldn't move but as my eyes adjusted to what was around me, I was filled with horror. Endless statues of what appeared to be humanlike were all around me. I could see nothing else. I wondered if these statues were all filled with people suffering the same fate I had just escaped. I heard a shrill noise and saw a dash of light before my eyes, and then it was gone.
I sat in this position for what felt like days, maybe weeks. I didn't appear to have a need for food or water, but I was left alone with my thoughts and these statues. Until it happened. My eyes were closed as I tried to remember my life, but the memories faded just as soon as I thought of them, never to be remembered again. I felt warmth, like the sun, approaching me. I opened my eyes and quickly shut them again, the light was truly overwhelming. A voice enveloped me,
"Why are you awake?"