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Daniel - Part 9 18 December 2017, Monday 1:24 AM Daniel's Place
I wake to Wayne moaning and crying out in his sleep. I put my arm around his struggling body. My first thought is to keep the injury on his neck safe. "Hey. Shhh." I whisper gently to him. He's still asleep, and he breathes rapidly in his dream. I frown ... I know what it is that haunts him. "Hey." I squeeze him from behind and rub his furry chest. "Hey, it's okay."
He screams out in panic and thrashes. I barely avoid an elbow to my face as he comes awake with a start, and jolts upright in bed. His eyes are wild.
"Hey. I'm here. You're safe." He looks at me and blinks. He takes a deep, shaky breath.
"Hey." He swallows and rubs his face, then smiles weakly. "I'm sorry." His smile melts into a frown. "I ... Bad dream." He tries not to, but he looks haunted and scared.
I check his neck to make sure he didn't pop any of his sutures during his struggles. Luckily all of them look fine. Then I wrap him back up in my arms. I whisper in his ear, "Don't be sorry. It's okay." I pull him close. "I've got you." I press myself against his trembling body. "I've got you Wayne."
He huddles against me and speaks in a small voice. "Can you hold me like this ... all night?"
I feel a stab of protective instinct, and I squeeze him reassuringly. "I will."
He slowly calms, and the shivers diminish. I hold him and plant little soft kisses on the back of his neck and on his shoulders. He drifts off back to sleep. I know we'll probably suffer through more than one night of these - maybe a lot of them.
But I'm ready. I know my place. It's my turn to be the strong one.
Wayne's Journal - Part 11 18 December 2017, Monday 6:35 PM Wayne's House
I'm over at my place again. I confess, I just want to leave here and go back to Daniel's. I have a few things to do though - water my plants, check my house, and pick up some stuff. This little house doesn't feel like a safe place anymore. I mean, I know Jason's gone. But it's just hard to shake the feeling that safety is an illusion.
The only place I really feel it is with Daniel. And wow ... what a crappy thing to do to someone. I don't want him to feel responsible for me. I want us to be partners in whatever we do. Equals. And that means I have to get over this.
But I am so glad I was with him last night. God, what a terrible dream.
He told me this morning that I was allowed to be afraid, but only if he were allowed to help chase it away. It's selfish of me, but I readily agreed.
For the first time in my life since I left home I feel like I need someone. The Jason thing really amplified it, and made it apparent, but ... it started before him.
I NEED Daniel.
God, how wonderful ... and terrifying.
Daniel - Part 10 18 December 2017, Monday 7:10 PM Daniel's Place
I meet Wayne at the door and help him with a few bags. I convinced him to stay for a while, at least until his neck heals. So now he has everything he'll need for the next week, and for our trip to see his sister and her family in San Diego.
He looks at me and smiles when he comes in. The expression is genuine. He's happy to see me, and it brightens my mood. He put in a full day of work. I didn't know if he was ready, but he insisted. I know he needs a sense of normalcy, so I didn't fight him on it. Though now he looks tired.
"Hey Wayne." I took his bags. "Go on to the kitchen, sit. Eat dinner. It's still hot."
He smiles appreciatively. "Thanks Daniel." He starts to go, then turns. "I ... I wanted to thank you for letting me stay here." He looked at me as if he were making a confession. "I don't want to be so needy, but I'm really glad to be here with you, and not alone right now."
"Wayne." I put down the bags and closed him in a hug. "Do you think this is any kind of trouble for me?" I rub his back and breathe him in. "I would worry about you if you weren't here. This is as much for me as it is for you." I push back so I can look at him. "Okay?"
He nods, and I can tell he wants to believe me. "Yeah. Okay." He smiles, this time a little broader. "Thanks." We kiss, and then he wanders into the kitchen. I hear Martha greet him, and the sound of dinnerware sliding on a counter.
I deposit his bags in the bedroom. We'll sort it all out later. Then I head back to the kitchen. He really likes to eat at the island, so I join him there. I sit right next to him as he eats his food, and I rest my hand on his leg. Martha catches my eye now and again as he quietly eats. I can tell she's a little worried about him. I nod slightly to her. I know he'll be fine. I'll make sure of it.
He finishes up, and Martha takes care of the dishes. He's tired, and I lead us to the bedroom. I undress him and there's no fire in it, only as much love and caring as I can express. He looks at me, an apology on his face. But I don't need that from him right now.
Both of us stand naked by our bed, our bodies and heads together. "All I want, is to lay with you. And to sleep with you." I kiss him gently.
He frowns. He doesn't believe me, but he nods, appreciating the lack of expectation from me.
We climb in and he lays down. I lay right behind and spoon him - always as close as I can get. It's not long before he sleeps.
I lay listening to his breath and I rub my hands along his furry body. "I love you Wayne." I whisper it, and he smiles in his sleep. That's it. Happy things. I want you to dream of happy things tonight. I murmur it a few more times, and he seems to at least start the night peacefully.
I feel myself begin to drop off as well. I snuggle up to this warm, amazing human being. And there's no place else in the world I'd rather be. My last thought of the night is this, and then I fall into the arms of Morpheus.
Wayne's Journal - Part 11 (cont) 19 December 2017, Tuesday 6:20 PM Daniel's Place
Last night was better. Daniel said I was quiet all night, and if I had nightmares I don't remember them. I woke this morning just before the alarm, and Daniel was pressed tightly to me. I lay there and smiled, reveling in his contact. And ... I noticed my body seemed to be back to normal. We didn't have time to take care of my "normal" reaction to him, but I got a lot of kisses, touches, and some rubbing against Daniel when he woke. That just amped me up, and all I could think about all day was him. Of course I think that was his goal.
Saul wanted to talk about what happened when I got to work. It made the damn paper. So people ask about it. They can see the injury on my neck, and of course, they're going to want to know. I tried to be patient, and I think I was for the most part.
Saul took me to lunch at our regular spot and eyed me. "You sure you're okay? I mean, that would have scared the shit out of me." I told him the high points of my encounter with Jason. But I left out the nightmares.
I shook my head over my lunch. "Yeah. I'm mainly disappointed in myself." I grimaced. "I've got over a decade of training. But Jason defeated it by holding the knife in a strange way. I couldn't tell where his wrist was. And if I can't tell where the wrist is, I can't disarm anyone fast enough to avoid ... you know. A knife through the throat."
Saul grunted. "Sounds like he had the same class you did."
I frowned. "Maybe. His arm lock was good too." I sighed. "Maybe I will take Martha up on her offer for Krav Maga lessons."
We were quiet a moment then Saul leaned forward. "Hey." I looked up at him and met his eye. "I'm glad you're alright. Sounds like Daniel really saved your bacon." He nodded and sat back. "Sounds like this guy is the real deal." He smiled at me. "You're lucky to have him."
I nodded in agreement. "Man, you should have seen him." I let myself go back to that moment. "When he grabbed Jason, he was so ..." I tried to find the right word, "... he was literally my hero."
Saul was watching my face. He slowly smiled. "Man, you've got it BAD for him." I blushed, and his face grew thoughtful. "I'll admit, I'm a little jealous."
"Jealous?" I frowned. "Really? Why?"
He raised an eyebrow at me. "Wayne, you've found `it'. What everybody searches for, and few of us find." He sipped his tea. "You've found love. Like, the REAL thing." He shook his head. "This guy was willing to hand over a huge chunk of change for you. And he risked his life to help you." He put his elbows on the table, rested his chin on his hands and looked at me. "I think it's just a matter of time before you're going to have to think about what that looks like, long term."
I was perplexed. "What does that mean?"
He looked at me seriously. "I know you probably think it's crazy. I mean you guys have known each other like three weeks." He took another drink of his tea. "But I think it's pretty inevitable where you're headed." He smiled. "Make sure you invite me when it happens."
The light dawned in my brain. "Ah ... yeah, it's way too early to talk about becoming partners, or ... or marriage. Shit man."
He smiled over his glass at me and shrugged. "What would you say if he asked?" I stared at him, and his smile grew more pronounced and evil as I struggled to answer. He shook his head. "You're gonna be married in a year."
"Shut ... shut up." I couldn't help but grin at him. The fucker.
We left the Alibi, and as we did he made me promise that he'd be invited to our wedding. I'm still thinking about his question. What would I say? Everytime I think about it, I can't help but smile like a fool.
I need to push that thought out of my head. It's a fantasy. A fable. A beautiful fable ... but still a fable.
Ah, we're about to have dinner.
Till next time.
Wayne's Journal - Part 11 (cont) 19 December 2017, Tuesday 8:40 PM Daniel's Place
God, I love sex with Daniel.
After dinner he didn't say a word. He simply stood up, took my hand and led me to the bedroom. Martha watched us go with a bemused glance as she gathered our dishes.
We stood beside the bed and he kissed me as he undressed us both. We were both more than ready for this. He rubbed his hands down my bare rear as he nibbled and licked my neck. It gave me chill bumps, and we were both rock hard as we pressed against one another.
I started leaking almost immediately. My body was amped up, receptive, and in a desperate need for him. He seemed to sense it. He gently lay me on the bed, and followed me down. He lay on me and we kissed - the act insistent and yet tender all at once.
I wanted him to take me. I needed it. I wanted him in control, and I needed to give myself to him. I didn't have to tell him. We kissed, and as we did he migrated between my legs, and positioned himself to line up with me.
Lube was next, and he unhurriedly applied it to us both, waiting for it to warm before he did.
"I love you Wayne." He whispered as I felt his penis against me. "I love you." He said it so reverently, as if it were a part of a hymn.
I exhaled as he began to enter me. "I love you Daniel." I was so emotional. He stared down at me as he slid in. He smiled, and his eyes flicked from place to place on my face, as if he were trying to memorize me. I couldn't help it, I felt my eyes well up. His smile broadened, knowing it was from happiness.
He reached, wiped my face gently and his hips began to move against me. This too was unhurried. He wasn't out to finish the race, but rather content to run it with me - however long it took. One of his hands found my dick, and he wrapped it in a steady, wonderful pressure and motion.
I moaned under him. It was intense physically, emotionally, and spiritually. I belonged to him, and he to me. I thought about Saul's question earlier in the day, and there was no doubt what I would say to Daniel should he ever ask. I knew this is what I wanted. I want Daniel. I want nothing else.
He watched my face as my own pleasure raged. He kissed my neck, just around my injury. I could feel his touch was so tender near it, and he slowed his motion so he would be sure not to hurt me.
I wrapped my legs around his waist and I pulled him into me as his hips moved. I know Daniel likes when I do this, and he growled in approval. His smile became a lovable grin. I know he wanted to extend our time like this, but the physical sensation of our joining was pushing us to finish. I nodded to him. "Go ahead lover." I whispered. "I want you to."
He leaned over and kissed me. And he began to moan around my mouth. "I love you." He said and then grunted. I felt him spear a little deeper, and his cock shot into my body. He breathed heavily and continued to kiss me. Just knowing he was getting off helped me get to my own end. I joined him with a moan of my own, and I covered our chests with fluid.
We continued to kiss, even after his hips stopped moving. He pulled back, his waist still against me, his cock still inside. I reached up and rubbed his cheek. "I'd do anything for you."
He set his jaw as his own emotions threatened to overwhelm him. He smiled and his eyes glittered with unshed tears. "I think you know ... you've got me Mr. Hawkins." He frowned and a tear streaked down his face. "I ... it's terrifying how much I feel for you."
I put my hands behind his neck and kissed the trail the tear left on his cheek. "Me too."
We separated, and cleaned up. Daniel went to sleep, and I got up to write. And ... I was feeling inspired. So I wrote the first poem I've written in a long time. And it's the first love poem I've ever done in my life. Here it is.
The Perfect Sin
His head he turns, his eyes they flash, A sparkling emerald stone, His voice he laughs, the very note, A trembling vibrant tone.
An angel stands in wingless pride, Before me, drawing near, A smile upon his face shines bright, The darkness disappears.
His smooth lithe form, his sweet faint scent, His breath upon my skin, I smile at him as he lay down, We commit the perfect sin.
My meter is off, it's formulaic, and I can poke a dozen holes in the structure. But I don't really care. He inspires me. He loves me. And that's all that matters.
Till next time.
Daniel - Part 11 20 December 2017, Wednesday 3:15 AM Daniel's Place
I went to sleep a bit early last night, and it threw off my internal clock. So I wake a little after 3 AM. But I'm thankful. I love to lay with him. I sit up on an elbow and look down at Wayne. His face is peaceful. I'm happy to know he's not having bad dreams tonight.
I get up and use the bathroom. And ... just to be safe, I walk through the house. I want to check the doors, and to make sure my new security system is armed. As I walk past the kitchen I can see something on the island in the soft glow of the night light. I stop, and I walk over.
Wayne's Journal. I reach out, and touch the well worn leather surface. He's been writing a lot lately. I know it's probably therapeutic in nature, and I know it's probably very private.
I get a powerful urge to look at the contents. I pick it up. Well, he did look at my poster board even though it was covered up. I can feel my mind trying to justify what I want to do. I mentally struggle with myself.
I put it back down quickly. "No." I felt guilty just for considering it. He's been through a lot. And I can't violate his trust.
I turn and he's standing in the doorway of the kitchen. The look on his face is inscrutable, at least at first. Then he slowly smiles.
He comes over, and he puts his arms around me.
"Thank you." He puts his head on my chest. I feel a surge of relief. I made the right call. It was close, but I made the right call.
I smile and stroke his bare back. "Sorry ... it was tempting. But I'll never look at it. Okay?"
He nods against me. I pull his face up and kiss him. When we part he looks into my eyes.
"Hey. If you want, I'll read you something from it. Something you inspired."
"Only if you want to." I run my hands up and down his back.
He nods. He has me sit, and he begins to read. It's a poem. It's ... it's a love poem. He wrote a poem for me. I can't remember the words, they're gone as soon as he utters them. But I know they're beautiful. I know they make me feel as if I'm going to die of happiness. He looks up at me after he's done, his eyes a little unsure - as if it were possible I could disapprove.
I swallow. I have cried more around this guy than I ever have in my life. I am determined not to do it again, but as soon as I make that decision I lose it.
"Nobody ... nobody ever wrote a poem for me." I frown and I start to cry. He smiles and hugs me.
"You like it?" He asks, his voice hopeful in my ear.
I laugh. "Yeah, of course I do."
He grins. "Well, no accounting for taste."
I laugh again. "I'm not exactly a connoisseur of the arts ... but I know what I like." I pull his naked body against mine.
It's 330 in the morning, and I've got a beautiful, sexy, hairy man pressed against me. I have time to show him how much I appreciate him. So I drop to my knees. He makes a surprised sound, and I take his half awake cock in my mouth. It's fully awake in moments.
Last night, I took my time with him. I wanted him to know how I felt, and I wanted to communicate it through my body. But this morning I want to let the physicality overwhelm him. I want to get him off - fast, furious, and intense.
He gasps as I swallow him. My nose is in his pubes, and I grin around the shaft of his dick. I begin to swallow, my throat massaging him tightly. My hand rubs his balls, and I put a knuckle on his taint. His hands find my head, and he groans. I stroke myself with my other hand, knowing that I won't last long. I love making him feel good, and it accelerates me toward my own orgasm.
He throws his head back. "Shit. Shit." His hands grab my hair. "Ah ... Daniel ..." His next word catches in his throat, and suddenly he spasms. "Unnnn." He unloads, and though I'm about at my limit, and need to take a breath, I stay on him till his first shot hits the back of my throat. After that I back off, able to breathe again, and finish him with my mouth and tongue. He shakes and groans, and I'm rewarded with gulp after gulp of semen.
I groan myself, and I shoot onto the floor of my kitchen. I smile with his cock in my mouth as we both finish. I think we got off in less than two minutes.
I stand and he kisses me. Though I swallowed most of it, I can tell he likes to taste himself in my mouth, and it's a sloppy affair - lots of tongue, and breathless desire. We pull apart and he grins.
"I'll never get tired of that. Just so you know."
I return his grin. "Noted." He laughed as I copied his phrase.
Since it was now close to 4 AM, we both decided to simply get an early start on our day. We dress in our gym gear, and luckily Wayne remembered to clean up my mess off the kitchen floor. I could imagine what hell I'd get from Martha for that if he didn't! Wayne is only allowed to do cardio today, as his wound is still healing. But he's ready to get back to it. I smile at him as he climbs on my elliptical machine and he grins back.
Soon we're both sweating, and I catch him watching me as I go through the motions of my back and bicep routine. He sees me looking. He gets a goofy expression on his face, and stops using the machine for a moment. He turns in profile, and ... there's a boner in his shorts.
I laugh hard, and almost lose my grip on the dumbell I'm rowing. I put the weight down and shake my head. He just continues to smile, and goes back to using the machine.
As I prepare for my next set of dumbell rows, I realize ... I can't imagine life without him now. And I don't want to try.