I blushed all over, and moved away from him, just a bit out of his reach, but I managed a smile. Was he coming on to me? I couldn't tell. He was always so open about everything. I wondered about that. Was it because he was just that way - talking about sex, circle jerks, docking, and all so casually? Or was he using it to seduce me?
He went inside and brought out baked potatoes, beans, plates, and condiments . . . all on a tray. After he served up the steaks, we sat down at his picnic table, each of us on opposite sides; I was basically looking directly at him.
The steak had smelled wonderful, but it tasted amazing! I took a bite, and then quickly fixed my potato, and helped myself to some beans. Once our plates were set, we dug in. Between bites, Jeff talked about upcoming movies, and we chatted that up all through dinner.
It was difficult to look directly at him; he was just so damn handsome . . . and that smile which he kept flashing! Once or twice, I missed a question, because I was so absorbed in looking at him. I guess he just figured I was enjoying the food, and missed the question; so he would repeat it.
After dinner, I helped take the leftover stuff inside, and we made quick work of putting everything away, and getting the stuff into the dishwasher. We went back outside and sat in the folding chairs on the lawn, drinking beers. Again, we were facing each other, but I could see up one leg of his shorts to his free hanging nuts and dick.
This distracted me even more than his looks, and I realized I was beginning to swell, as I watched him. Then I wondered if he could see up the legs of my shorts, so I adjusted my position, putting one leg across the knee of the other, hoping to reduce the gapping of the legs of my shorts, and to hide my growing problem.
He started talking about the camping trip, and mentally making a list of things we would need. He asked quite a few questions about what I liked to eat and drink. Did I prefer wine or beer, or something harder? What did I like for breakfast?
Then he moved onto clothes and mentioned, again, that I could use his boots and a pair of his shorts. That made me blush, thinking of what happened when I tried on his shorts.
"Gotta take a leak," he said, as he stood and walked over by the gravel. He stood sideways to me, and pulled his dick out of the leg of his shorts and began pissing. I was so totally absorbed in watching him, that I didn't realize he was looking at me.
"What? You've never seen a guy take a leak outside before?" he laughed, as he shook his dick, and then turned towards me as he slipped it back into his shorts.
"Ah, yeah, but never seen someone so uninhibited to just to whip it out in front of another guy and take it," I said.
"Oh, so it's okay to whip it out in front of a girl and take a leak?" he said, as he scratched his crotch. I had to raise my eyes from his crotch, and saw his smile.
"No, I mean, yes, I mean, it's just, um, uninhibited to do that in front of anyone," I managed to get out.
"So, what? You never took a leak in the showers in the locker room?" he asked, sitting down across from me again, and crossing his legs.
"I, uh, well, I don't remember. I haven't been in a locker room since high school, I think," I managed to blush, as I said this.
"Well, that's probably it. It's been too long since you probably did it in the shower. All guys do it. Just like all guys jerk off." He looked at my face and said, "Sorry, no filter again."
I was getting embarrassed that he was apologizing so much about what he said. "Jeff, it is me that should be apologizing, for making you try to not say things that are natural for you. I don't mean to get up-tight about everything you say." I swallowed, and just tried to get it all out. "I mean, I haven't been around anyone that talks about sex so openly and so nonchalantly, or with such lack of concern about how others are going to take it." This wasn't coming out right at all.
"What I am trying to say is, just be yourself, and I will just understand that it is your way of communicating, and try to take it in the context that it is meant," I finished with a sigh.
"So, you're saying, just let my mouth go, and you'll get over it?"
"Yeah, something like that," I managed.
"So if I ask you if you liked what you saw all the time you have been looking up the legs of my shorts, that would be okay?"
I choked on the beer I was trying to sip when he said that. I went nuclear, and felt heat waves pouring off of my face. I stammered, and tried to swallow, and tried to get up all at the same time. "I'm sorry; I didn't mean, what I mean is," and went into another coughing fit.
"See, maybe I do need the filter," he said, with that big smile on his face, as he pounded me on the back.
"Water," I managed to croak out. He ran into the house and was back in a flash, with a glass of water. I tried drinking it, but choked again, and could hardly breathe. He pounded me on the back some more.
I finally got my breath, but couldn't talk. I took another swig of water, and this time it went down. I began to breath more normally, and waved away his pounding fist.
"I'm okay," I said in a raspy voice.
"I am sorry; I just got too bold." I remembered it was his questions that started all of this. I blushed again.
"It's okay; it was just a joke. Nothing meant by it. And, by the way, if you want to look, it's okay. I really don't mind people looking at my body. I guess it's what I expect when I wander around naked all the time."
He laughed and said, "And you are practically naked here, as well." He pulled out the waistband of my shorts and then let it snap back.
I went all crimson again, and he laughed and pulled down the front of his shorts, and said, "Look all you want. Really. It's okay."
I nearly choked again. I wanted to stare at his awesome equipment, but didn't want to be caught doing it.
I looked at my watch instead, and lamely said, "Ah, it's late, and I have to get up early to get to work." I was stringing words together in machine gun pattern; trying to get them all out at one time, and leave at the same time.
"Fuck! I've done it again," Jeff said, with great sincerity. He had pulled his shorts back up, and was following me as I headed back through the house.
"No, no," I said, trying to reassure him. "Really. Dinner was amazing, and I enjoyed talking with you." Did I really stress "talking" too much?
"You sure?" he said, and he caught up with me, and put his hand on my back. The flesh of his hand felt like it was searing my body, it was so hot. Damn, that felt good!
"Yeah, yeah, everything's fine. Just need to get some rest before the big day tomorrow."
"Are we still on for the trip to the cabin this weekend?" he asked.
"Oh, yeah; I cleared it with my boss to take Friday off," I managed to get out, as I headed for his front door.
"Oh, great! We can make an early start! Only 3 more days of work for you, and then we can head out!" He had caught up to me again, and put his hand on my shoulder.
"So why don't you come over Wednesday night, and we can go over the lists and make sure we have everything? That will give me Thursday to get anything that we need." He rubbed my shoulder, and I jumped out the door in a panic, and ran to my house.
Inside, after I had slammed the door, my heart was racing. His close physical contact drove me crazy! That's when I realized my dick was tenting the front of my shorts; I mean his shorts. Fuck! Had he noticed?
I didn't turn on any lights, but ran to my computer room and looked across the way. Jeff had shed his shorts and was working in the kitchen, finishing cleaning up from dinner.
I shucked the shorts off and sat down, gripping my hard dick in my fist. Fuck! In my mind, I kept seeing the flash of his dick and balls, when he pulled down his shorts. It was so gorgeous!
I was pumping away, as Jeff came back into his living room, flipped on the TV, and sat in his recliner. Soon, I saw he had the porn on again, and was playing with his rapidly growing dick. Oh shit! I shot all over my chest, and collapsed back into my chair.
Hours later, I woke with a crick in my neck. All the lights were out at Jeff's house, and I saw that it was 2:13 AM. Fuck! I had fallen asleep in the chair again. I moved and worked out the kinks, then headed off to my bed, and realized I hadn't slept here for a couple of nights.
I was soon fast asleep, but my dreams were filled with visions of a naked Jeff sitting in my living room, jerking off with me sitting naked in my recliner, stroking as I watched him work on his dick.
I woke late, and must have hit the snooze button way too many times. I jumped in the shower, dressed, grabbed a breakfast bar, and headed off to work.
Once at my desk, I logged into my computer, and then into my private e-mail account. There was an e-mail from Jeff:
Paul,
Once again, it seems that I have offended you with my unabashed manner. It certainly wasn't my intention. I really just like being around you, and don't know why I keep letting my words and actions get out of line.
I hope this will not affect our friendship, and that we can still be neighborly, and still go on the camping trip. Yes, to the camping trip? Please?
Okay, I'll await your reply, and will not say anything else. I have to go up to the college this afternoon to do some research and talk to some people, so I won't be back until late.
I hope we can still get together on Wednesday night to discuss our plans for the weekend.
Keep me posted and have fun!
And, again, my apologies.
Jeff
I sat looking at the e-mail for a long time. How should I respond? Was he coming on to me with his begging? Was he gay? Or was he just having fun at my expense? That had happened more than once in high school.
He was so open about his sexuality. I mean, being nude, discussing jerking off, and circle jerks. My brain had a difficult time getting past images of his crotch and his hairy crack. My dick was getting hard, and I was realizing that all the stories I had read, about the little head being in charge sometimes, were true. Was I thinking logically, or just with my dick?
My dick wanted some action of any kind, even if it was only jerking off while watching Jeff from afar; but I knew that I wanted more than that. I wanted to taste his cock. I wanted to run my nose along his hairy crack. I wanted to nuzzle his balls, and, yes, I wanted him to fuck me, I think.
I grabbed a file folder, used it to cover my obvious tent, and hurried off to the men's room. I went into the last stall, dropped my trousers to the floor, and began fisting my dick, even before I could sit down.
I knew I was getting close, when I heard the door bang open. I stopped, with my heart racing, and listened. The guy went up to a urinal and let out a powerful stream of piss before flushing, and then washing his hands.
I waited for the sound of the door closing, before I went back to fisting. Soon I was shooting a load into the wad of toilet paper that I held over the end of my pulsing cock.
I remembered Jeff tasting his cum. I brought the tissue to my nose and smelled. The familiar bleachy smell was there, and now that I had come, I didn't want to taste it. I wondered how Jeff managed to do it after every time he came.
I pulled myself together, tucked in my shirt, washed my hands and, with the folder, hurried back to my desk. I realized I had left my e-mail open. I got to my desk, and closed Jeff's e-mail, and logged out of my account.
Then, for the next hour, I sat, worried, thought, laid out replies, and replayed images of Jeff in my mind. I looked at the clock, and realized I had not done a thing, and, once again, I was rock hard.
I decided to get some work done, and not rush back to the restroom; but my attention just wasn't on the task. I opened up my e-mail account, and reread Jeff's e-mail.
I started composing a reply. I would type, erase, type some more, erase, and edit.
Finally, I thought I had the reply just right:
Jeff,
Thank you for your apology . . . and I accept it.
Jeff, yes, we can still be friends, and yes, I would still like to go camping this weekend.
But to be honest, your openness is something I am not used to. Don't get me wrong; I am no bible-thumping prude. I just have never been around someone who was so free, both with their body and with their words, male or female.
You do and say things that I have no experience or history with, so I have difficulty processing everything sometimes (well, a lot of the time). I don't know if it has come across in our discussion, but I have led a rather sheltered life so far, and my experiences are very limited.
So, I think it is me that must apologize. You are an amazingly handsome man, and, on top of that, you say and do things that are not so much inappropriate as much as unexpected. Women must fall all over themselves when you are around, especially if you act and speak as openly as you have around me.
Yes, Wednesday, we can still meet to discuss the plans for the camping trip. Why don't you come to my place for dinner, and then we can type up the list of items that I need to bring, and need to get for the trip.
And, I will work on understanding what you are doing and saying from your perspective, and not mine.
So until Wednesday night, have fun!
Paul
I read through it a dozen times, fixing typos, redoing words, and just trying to make sure that it said what I wanted it to say without me coming across as an idiot, or some gay pervert that wanted to jump his bones, or some narrow minded twit.
I had purposely put in the part about women, although I hoped that he didn't like them. And I hoped that he understood that, "my experiences are very limited," meant I hadn't had a lot of sex. Hell, I hadn't had any!
Finally, I clicked Send, and logged out of my e-mail. I went back to trying to work, but I was hard again, as images of naked Jeff, and what I wanted to do with him, kept flashing in my mind. I headed back to the men's room for another jerk off session.
During lunch, I went for a walk to try and clear my mind. I kept thinking about a weekend with a naked Jeff, and had to take off my coat so I could carry it over my arm while hiding my crotch.
I looked up, and had no idea where I was, or how I had gotten here. I found a park bench to sit down and think. I had never done anything with anyone, and had kind of gotten used to my lonely life of porn surfing and jerking off.
But ever since Jeff moved in, I was becoming obsessed with him. I wanted to do something with him, but didn't know how to go about getting to that possibility. He sounded open, and possibly gay, or at least bi.
I had no idea how to get to that point, and wasn't going to be satisfied just watching him in his house. It was so all consuming to me.
I had this paranoia that someone would find out I was gay, and that would be the end of my life. How could I face anyone I knew, if they knew I was gay? Wouldn't they think less of me? Wouldn't they think I was some kind of pervert or something?
I had read all the stuff about coming out, and how guys felt liberated when they did; but I knew that my situation was unique. People would treat me different.
More important, I might blow whatever chance I would have of getting to know Jeff, if he knew I liked guys. I mean, he came across accepting and all, but it could be a ploy to seduce me, and then make fun of me when I finally expressed my feelings.
I had read too many stories of humiliation where that had happened. I was sure that was what was going to happen to me. I was afraid to go to a gay bar, or an adult bookstore, even.
As far as cruising some bathroom or some park, I knew I would be caught by the police and arrested. I had read about these places where guys go to hook up for anonymous sex; getting blow jobs, or even fucking right there in the park; I would surely be caught and then exposed.
I shook my head; I had to figure this out. I was becoming so obsessed with Jeff, and the possibility of actually having sex, that it was all I could think about. My work would suffer if this continued.
I thought maybe the trip to his cabin would be a way to sort everything out; but I was apprehensive about that as well. What if he didn't like me? What if he was just a jock out to humiliate me?
I had to bury that idea. I wanted this to work. I had to be positive, and I couldn't sit here and let paranoia overtake me; I knew that was close to happening. It is a problem I had had ever since high school, when I discovered that I liked men.
I stood up, put on my coat, and looked up and down the street, trying to get my bearings. I must have looked down this one street six times before realizing that I recognized a store on the corner several blocks away. If I could get there, I would be able to get back to the office.
I strode down to the store, got my bearings, and headed back to the office. When I got there, my heart was beginning to get back to normal, but my armpits were soaked from sweating in the heat, and the hurry to get back to the office. I was out of breath!
I had to stop in the lobby, put on my jacket, catch my breath, and calm down. Then I went to the men's room located in the lobby, and splashed water on my face. There was no color in my face. I stayed there with my hands on the counter, looking into the mirror, until I had some semblance of normalcy about myself.
I kept remembering Jeff naked; naked, and stroking his huge cock! Fuck! My mind was messed up today!
Back at my desk, I called my boss and explained that I wasn't feeling well and needed to go home. He said, "Sure," and hoped that I would get to feeling better.
I raced to my car and then to my home. Once there, I checked that Jeff wasn't visible, then stripped off my clothes, and left them in a pile in the hallway. I hurried to my computer room, drew the curtains, and logged in to one of my favorite sites.
I was rock hard and dripping, as I found video after video that pushed my buttons. I was pumping away on my dick, and, in a matter of minutes, blew a load on my stomach.
Yet, I was still hard. Then I found a site with guys on webcams jerking off. I couldn't believe it! Many of them showed their face, and seemed to enjoy jerking off for the guys watching.
The men were old, young, fat, thin, fit, hairy, shaved, and every shade of the rainbow in skin colors. I grabbed my own dick, as I expanded the screen of some guy named Texascowboy.
He was a fit guy in his twenties, and had black, thick pubic hair circling his cock and balls. His dick had to be at least seven or eight inches long. He was stroking with one hand, and typing and playing with his balls with the other.
I saw that I could send him a message. I typed, "Nice dick!"
He typed back, "Thanks!"
"Can I see your ass?" I asked.
He stood, turned, and knelt on his chair. Then I saw his black hairy crack, and moaned. He reached back and spread his cheeks so I could see his hairy hole. "Nice!" I typed, as I madly fisted my cock again.
He typed `thanks,' as he was again sitting in his chair. Then someone asked him to finger his hole. So he got up on the chair again, and began to push his finger into his ass.
Fuck! I couldn't believe this! The guy was doing this live! I was pumping away madly, and knew it would be only moments before I came again. The guy sat back down and lowered his head, and was soon putting his mouth over his dick! Fuck! I shot again.
My head was spinning! I went back to videos, and happened upon one of a guy sitting on a picnic table in a public park, naked and jerking off! There were cars parked nearby, with guys in them, watching him put on the show!
I was hard and fisting again, as I looked at more of this guy's videos. There was one of him in a laundromat, naked, and stroking his dick. Another one had him standing outside of his car, naked, with some guy in clothes stroking him until he shot. He had one of himself, naked, walking down a hotel hallway stroking, and then shooting all over the ice machine!
There was one called the cable guy. It showed someone working on his TV, and all the while a guy was walking around behind the cable guy, pulling down his shorts and stroking his rigid dick! Fuck! That was so hot!
He had one where he was in an adult bookstore, and had his dick out, stroking it as he looked at the various DVDs. Then there was the one of him in one of the booths, stripping naked, and jerking off! Shit! How could he be so bold?
I furiously pumped on my dick, as I played the video over and over, until I had shot again. I realized that it was my fifth orgasm of the day. Then I looked at my dick and noticed a bit of redness just below the flange of the head. I was rubbing myself raw; I had to get some lube!
I don't know why, but I put on some briefs, shorts, t-shirt, and my trainers. Then I grabbed my keys and my sunglasses and headed off to a mega store on the far side of town.
When I got there, I headed to the pharmacy area, where I found the condom section, and started looking at the various lubes. I kept looking around, to make sure that no one was seeing what I was doing.
I finally chose a lube labeled with "warm tingly feeling." I picked up some other items, most of which I didn't need, but I didn't want to pay for just the lube.
When I went to the cashier, he looked up at me, as he rang up the lube. I blushed, but I still had my sunglasses on, hoping he couldn't see my blush. I quickly paid, and got out of there fast.
Back home, I stripped out of my clothes, and was back at the computer.
The vids were still there, and I was hard instantly. I applied the lube, and soon felt, "warm and tingly," but I wasn't reaching that magic moment.
I kept stroking, watching vids, and applying more lube, but it just wasn't happening. I gave up, washed the lube off of my dick and my hands, and crawled into bed, feeling exhausted.
My dreams that night were filled with images of Jeff. Jeff naked. Jeff jerking. Jeff letting me suck his cock. Jeff holding my head while I sucked him. Then I had an image of him calling me a cocksucker, and laughing. I fought with my covers until I woke up.
I shook my head, and tried to focus on reality. Was Jeff really just setting me up to be called a cocksucker in public? I didn't think so; but was he?