I wrote this story as a tribute to Wazput's story about Matt, Kris, Corey, Colt and the Gang. The gang has been a part of my college life and all I could say is thank you for continuing it and making the story worthwhile.
This story is about an unseen character that maybe some of us can relate to. We all know someone has to play in the background. Someone has to be underneath everything and go unseen. Somehow, someone suffers from afar when we think everything is okay within eyes reach.
And we all know that there will always be a good story behind another good story.
Also thanks to Andy and Big D!!!
Watching from the Sidelines Summer Sidelines Chapter-3 "Ending Summer"
Life sucks...
That's how most stories start. That's how some hateful unrealistic fantasy begin. But maybe there's some reason why they suck. Maybe because behind that sucking fantasy of them, a wonderful story in the background is going on. Life sucks, but you have to live with it, and live through it, and find your life's meaning. Some people would probably think that it's stupid to feel that your purpose in life is to love someone and live a happily ever after. Some people might find it funny that being hopelessly romantic is a suicide in this modern times when all is about sex, drugs and happiness. But focusing on the previous statement on the first word, it's just "some" people, it's not "All" people.
So I believe, as long as not all people don't believe in love, I will continue believing the fact that I will have someone with me someday and share the dream I have. Old people in Sweden say, "you would not be happy all the time", but I'd love to think the other term for it, "you would not be sad all the time". For now, maybe the reason my mind tells me to love being alone is because it expects that I will have someone to be with for long in the future. Being all by myself doesn't bother me, I love to have my time alone. Playing the organ. Reading books. Learning how to cook. Training martial arts and going online and learning stuff. It interests me to read because it's funny how other people tried so hard to create something and other people will learn how to do that stuff easily because it would then be written in books.
Im here again, alone in my apartment. I just had breakfast and it's been a really hot morning. I hate the heat. I don't like too much sun. I like it wet and drizzling, where the sun hides all its glory and all you see are dark clouds. No people in the streets. That's also one fact I hated when I learned that the college course I wanted is well served in a school that endures a hot season. Of course there's also winter here which I really like. I could've also chose another school but as I've said before. I never really wanted a high-priced school from afar. My mom told me that education is the same wherever, and schools don't really make the professional. You could go to Harvard or so and be a drunkard, addict or a criminal after graduating. Or you could go to a simple University and strive hard to earn your profession after graduating.
I sat in front of the organ and flipped the pages of the musicsheets I have compiled. I was a bit ticked as I couldn't find anything I like.I then played random notes and just had fun with the keyboard. I then played the star spangled banner just for the fun of it, and had a giggle when I saw some guys pretending to raise the flag outside the window. I love how music affects a lot of people, no, not a lot of people, every people. Music is such a great gift to humankind and I love how it's free for everyone to use.
Beeep Beeep Beeep!
My head snapped up from the keyboard and my eyes shot to my phone which was vibrating in the edge of the organ, then it fell. I was just in time before the phone hit the floor. "Whew" I said to myself.
'Hey! Cord! Remember me?' It was a text from Toni. I replied to her text and said that I do remember her.
I was checking on my laptop when she replied.
'Oh good! I'm at the university right now, fixing some stuff...' She texted.
'Really? Cool. Maybe you'd want to catch up later? 6 PM? Dinner?' I replied. It would be nice to have her. She is really nice and fun to talk to.
'Okay! That would be so nice Cord! I missed you!'
'I missed you too Toni! See you later, pick you up at the parking lot where we met.' I texted back.
I was so glad to hear from Toni. I continued surfing on the net and went to youtube. This has been a habbit of mine everytime I go online. I look up good music from the internet and put it in my ipod and memorize them. It's been a hobby of mine to collect songs from different parts of the world and take time to appreciate them.
After about 20 minutes of listening to different versions of "the river flows in you" on piano, guitar, harp and flute. I came across a title that intrigued me. 'Wherever you are by southborder' I clicked and listened and watched the lyrics flash on the screen. After two minutes or so, I was on tears. I was carried away by the song and how the singer sung it. "The wind that blows the dove, is the wind that blows my love, hoping it'll find its way to you, wherever you are." I listened one more time and clicked another song again from southborder, "Raindbow". Another inspiring song caught me so I quickly downloaded the two songs on my Ipod. I was so happy with the new songs I found and kept browsing to find that David Archuleta has a cover of the song. I listened to it but decided that I like the original version better.
I went on a food site where I usually go to look up new recipies. I'd like to prepare something nice for Toni as it seems to me that she's tired from the things she's doing in th Uni. There was a lot to choose from but decided on an Italian recipe and a nice graham cake for dessert. I still had so much time preparing so I made the graham cake first and topped it with fruit coctails and then I placed it in the fridge. I prepared the pasta and the tomao paste. I was so into preparing. When I looked at the clock it was 5:20PM. I finished the plates quickly and jumped in the shower. I always want myself in my best appearance. I put on a red polo shirt, blue shorts and sneakers. I looked in the mirror and liked what I saw. I tied my hair to a small ponytail to the back as it's just near-shoulder length.
Going to the university I saw the familiar SUV that was parked a builiding away from my flat. Another car is also parked that I could swear is the car of Matt's boyfriend Corey. I hurried to the University lot and found Toni who was really pretty in her red button up shirt and shorts and sneakers.
"Hey! We match!" She said.
"Yes we do! Funny! So are you hungry? I prepared a lot cause I'm hoping you are."
"Actually I am. You prepared? You cook? That's so cool!" She said in un upbeat tone.
"Just a little. So how's your summer going." I asked her as we walked towards my apartment.
"Boring as ever. I had to help my mom at home." she started telling me how her summer went. "How about you?"
"Well my parents has to go to my granma to help her with stuff." I didn't tell her the details.
"Does that mean you stayed here the whole summer? In your apartment? That's kinda cool." She said.
"Yeah, I redecorated it to give it more excitement. It was fun actually."
"That's nice. Hey! So this is where the gang is staying."
"Huh?" I asked who she was talking about when I realized we just passed the Kris's SUV. "Oh, yeah, I saw the car yesterday. I think they're moving in here."
"Great! We'll go there after we eat. I'm so starved." She gigled and looked at me with twinkle in her eyes. I looked away immediately. 'What's up with that?' I thought to myself.
"Okay, here we are. I hope you like Italian." I said as I unlocked the door. My Ipod's still playing in the room and 'Rainbow' by southborder, the song I just downloaded is playing.
'take a little time, baby
see the butterflies' colors
listen to the birds
that were sent to sing for me and you
can you feel me
this is such a wonderful place to be
even if there is pain now
everything will be alright
for as long as the world still turns
there will be night and day
can you hear me
there's a rainbow always after the rain.'
"Oh my God Cord this is so sweet! This is such a cool place! And you keep it like this all by yourself?" Toni said eagerly.
"Uh, I try to keep it this way." I said a bit shyly.
"And there's an organ. You are full of surprises!"
"Not really, I just use my time alone to learn stuff." I said as I lead her to the dining table where the plates are ready. "I'll just heat up the meal." I placed the serving platter in the microwave and heated up the food. I took the orange juice from the fridge and poured some for Toni before getting the pasta.
"Enjoy!" I said as we dug in through the meal.
"This is so good Cord. Fantastic. YOu are such an amazing guy!"
"It's not much. I just follow the steps and with some luck, I made it just fine." I smiled as I got up and took a slice of the graham cake from the fridge and gave it to Toni, I got one for myself as well.
"Dessert! Oh! I love this." Toni giggled as she ate the slice.
"Are you full?" I asked her smiling.
"Oh am I? This day is so much fun. I get to hang with you."
"Im happy we could catch up a bit." I said but noticed something weird in Toni's actions.
"Are you okay Toni?" I asked a bit worried about her.
"I'm okay! No, I'm more than okay Cord. It's just like I'm so much happy here." She said with the twinkle in her eyes again. "Would you play some music? I want to hear you play the organ."
"UHmmm, sure. have a seat in the couch, I'll just fix this first." I told her as I started cleaning the table. I put the dishes in the dish washer and arranged everything in ther proper places.
I sat in front of the organ and played "Into the West" another one of my favorites. I started playing and playing and I was really into the rythm. While playing all I can see in my head with my eyes closed is Matt. Every time I see the dark, his face will shine out of nowhere. The moment I saw him some more or less two years ago, is still fresh in my memory. His hair, his lips, his eyes. The way he smiled. The fear in his face when he was attacked by the fraternity guy. His kind heart. I don't know what's going on with me. I'm at peace by just the thought of him. As I finished the music I turned to Toni who was looking with watery eyes.
"What's wrong Toni?" I said as I quickly came to her side.
"Nothing. It's just so beautiful and it reminded me of how shallow my relationships are in the past."
"It's okay."
"Cord?" She asked. I was really getting nervous by the minute.
"UHm yeah?"
"I don't know how to say this but... ohh God." She took in a deep breath then looked at me in the eye. 'Oh shit no' I thought to myself. Toni leaned in and kissed me on the lips. It was only for 3 seconds but I was already shaking with nervousness.
"I'm sorry, I cant help it." She giggled and looked down. "I like you Cord. I know I may sound desperate but... sigh."
I was still shocked with what happened. 'What am I gonna tell her?' I thought as she continued staring at her hands on her lap. I didn't want this to become like this. I gathered all the strength I had to think of what I was gonna say. It can't be like this. Should I tell her I'm gay? Or maybe I should tell her that I'm in love with someone else? I closed my eyes and opened my mouth.
"Toni, I- I....." I started. Toni raised her head and looked me in the eye. The moment her eyes laid on mine, it changed from happy to sad.
"You like someone else." It was not a question. She stated it defeated.
"No, it's uhmm Yeah but...." I stuttered again.
"It's okay Cord... I know it's all too good to be true. You're so perfect and I let my guard down.." She took her handbag from the couch and stood up. "I'm not feeling well Cord. The dinner was great and your playing is very good. I need to go.. I'm sorry." She said quickly. I could hear the sadness in every word. She went out the door.
"Toni! Wait! It's not like that! Toni!" I called for her but she was walking fast away from the apartment. "What have I done?" I asked out loud.
I took out my phone and called Toni but she would not pick up. I called her again and for the 3rd time her phone was turned off.
'There goes one friend.' I thought to myself. What is wrong with me? No.. What the hell is wrong with her? Couldn't she tell I'm gay? How could she think that I'm leading her on? I picked up my phone and dialed Timmy, it rang a few minutes before he answered.
"Hey! What's up?" Timmy answered.
"Man, I fucked up! Remember the girl I told you about?"
"Toni? Yeah why?"
"We had dinner here at the appartment and then she kissed me dude!"
"Whoa! I didn't know you were hitting two birds Cord! I have no idea you had it in you!"
"No asswipe! She thought I was hitting on her. I didn't know she felt something for me." I said waving my hand to the air.
"Oh... Where is she now?"
"She left. She's really hurt. I can tell. What should I do?" I asked really confused.
"Do you have feelings for her?" Timmy asked. I cant believe he even asked that.
"Are you stupid? Im Gay! Capital G A Y!" I shouted on the phone. I heard someone shouted 'Fag!' outside. I looked and see two students one shaking his head towards the other student who I assume was the one who said fag.
"Just give her time and then try to tell her the truth. You're about to turn 21. I think it's time you stepped out of the closet. You'll feel much better if you'd tell people you know. Your parents will still love you. I know that. Hey! I didn't give a damn, did I?" Timmy said on the other line.
"I'll give it a try. But you know how I am Tim." I said and sighed.
"I know. That's why I'm telling you that it would be good for you if you outed yourself to the people around you. That might help you feel comfortable around people."
"I'm just scared shitless of what they are going to say once they knew I'm gay."
"Fuck them! If they can't see the person in you. Who gives shit on what they say? Besides, anyone who messes with you don't know who their messing with." Timmy said on the phone.
"Who?" I asked with a chuckle.
"Well hell they're messing with Mr. Gay Jiu Jitsu slash capoera master!" Timmy said laughing.
"Hell yeah!" I said laughing with him. We talked a bit longer and then hung up.
That night I was in my room and thought about what happened. I was really sad for Toni but I can't pretend to like her. I'm not that kind of person. I had my laptop beside me on my bed and surfed some more on my facebook page. I saw one friend request from a classmate I had in Theatre Arts, Hannah. She was my assistant floor manager then. I accepted her request and looked up her pictures. There was one album entitled 'Fund Raising Calendar Pics'. I opened it and was laughing at the first few pictures. They were frat-looking guys. I clicked and clicked and came to the last picture. 'HOT'! It was the calendar cover and Kris and Corey was in it with the country boy guy friend of theirs. I felt my cock twitch just by looking at the picture. Corey was so hot. I didn't know that his half naked body could make me feel this excited. I started fondling with my dick and looked at the hot guys in the photo. I was so horny that I imagined myself going deep inside Corey while I am making out with Kris.
"Oh yeah Corey! Your ass is so tight!" I whispered while stroking my pulsing 7 and a half inch cock. "Oh fuck yeah!" I shot my load with one shot hitting my chin. I was breathing heavy and satisfied with jacking off. I cleaned myself in the bathroom and heard my phone rang.
"Hello who's this?" I answered not looking at the caller.
"Cord? It's your Dad. Listen we need to talk. Your grandma's having a bit of problem and maybe we would need to transfer here to Sweden."He said in a serious tone.
"Great dad! Way to drop the bomb on me." I chuckled. Dad is usually a good joker.
"I'm serious Cord. We will be arranging the papers so we could stay here in Sweden."
"Dad? I have college.."
"I know, we'll do something about that. You could enroll here.Now I've got to go. I'll call you back soon. I love you son." Then he dropped the call.
I stayed shock. Sitting on my bed, naked. Still wet from the shower. What now?
-The End of Chapter 3-
Sorry for the short chapter.. but I guess this will be enough to end Cord's summer..
Have a nice day. Please do send your feedbacks so that I'd know how you want Cord's life would be next!
rizaldysbustamante@yahoo.com rizaldysbustamante@yahoo.com with an 's'!
Take care!