Wanting to Know

By Candy Girl

Published on Sep 10, 2000

Gay

Y'all, Its a REAL AJ/Lance Fic!! Wow!!... I KNOW!!! I KNOW!!! Its a son Fic.. But OH BLOODY WELL!!!! I know I'm not the only one who can't stop writing them!!! And ust so Y'all Know! I have 10 people on my AJ-slash-Lance List!! WOOHOO!!!

DISCLAIMER: This is FICTION and Is NOT real. I'm not implying that Nsync or Backstreet is gay. The song is \Dear Diary// By M2M

]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]][[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[][][][][][][][][][

\[Dear Diary][something good happened today][he finally called me by my name][I don't know how to behave][what to say or do][I was so Confused]//

He said my name!! He said "Lance", not "hey" or "hey you", he said my name. I was stunned. I didn't know what to do! I just looked at him like he had grown another head.

When we first went on tour with the Backstreet Boys, I thought it would be cool. We would finally prove that we didn't hate each other.

When I saw him I thought "Damn, is he fine," and on top of that he was so sweet!

"Oh and Just so everyone know, I'm gay." I said it suddenly so they kinda looked at me funny but Aj just laughed and said "That's cool. I'm Bisexual." To say my heart flew would be an understatement.

\[Dear Diary][I wanna talk to him again][but whenever he is with his friends][he keeps trying to pretend][but i already see][the way he feels for me]//

AJ watching has became my favorite pastime. But while doing this.... I saw him looking at me. he was looking at me with those eyes the same way I was looking at him.

I have tried to talk to him but when I try, the words freeze in my throat. Damn-it, I just couldn't say them!!! I don't even remember what I said. I think I asked him what time it was. I'm such an idiot!

But at least now I know. I know he feels the same way. Problem is.. how do I tell him how I feel?

\[What can I do?][Tell me what can I say][When do I let him know I feel the same way?][How can my feelings be so hard to show][When I really want him to know][//

I have to think of a way to tell him. I have to!

Justin came up to me and told me he knows. He had seen me watching AJ countless times. I couldn't help but notice the slight pain that was in his eyes, but he told me he was cool with it. He even wanted to help.

But this is up to me. I have to tell me. I know I do. It is fate! I can feel it! It has to be. I have never felt this so strong before.

My Mom once told me that when I REALLY feel in love, I would know it. The other "loves" of my life would pale in comparison.

This is like the sun to a flashlight.

Now, all I can do is wait. Wait until my courage is up and I can tell AJ I love him.

\[Dear Diary][He wrote some letters on his hand][It wasn't hard to understand][I figured I'm part of his plans][But now I'm in his heart][I don't know where to start]//

I know he loves me too. I just know I now!! He was writing something to me. I know because it said "To: Lance" But he threw it away before he gave it to me.

He is scared, just like me. I don't think he knows how I feel, so that means that I have to sa something to him.

But How???

\[What can I do?][Tell me what can I say][When do I let him know I feel the same way?][How can my feelings be so hard to show][When I really want him to know][//

\\\\\\\\\\\\\ TBC..... THANK you!!

-Candy (Summo wrestler wanna-be)

"When you find somthing you love, there is only one thing left to do: obssess" Candyland Proverb #14

http://www.geocities.com/angelusette

http://community.webtv.net/Angelusette/Candyland

Next: Chapter 2


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