Disclaimers: I do not know any of the celebrities mentioned herein, this has no element of truth to it. This is no reflection on their true sexualities or personalities of Justin Timberlake, JC Chasez, Lance Bass or any others mentioned. If you are underage for your area or if it is illegal for you to look at this why not go somewhere else.
-6- Tim
I know that JC didn't tell you what happened that night. He can barely speak the words to his friends and family so I doubt that he would tell them to you. And I wouldn't either except that you're probably thinking the worst and no matter what you think of him you should not think that.
JC didn't rape me, he didn't hold me down and fuck me, he didn't even force himself on me. In fact when it came down to the act he couldn't do it. All he really did was humiliate me, scare me and leave me behind in that room afraid and alone.
But that was enough for me.
I lay there on the threadbare comforter for about twenty minutes before I dare to move, part of me was still convinced that he was going to come back and finish the deed. By the time I managed to get dressed and let myself out of the motel room I had been there an over an hour and he had been gone for over half of that. I was still shaking when I began the long walk back to my apartment.
Okay, you're confused by now I bet. You're asking yourself what actually went on in that hotel room and why wasn't I going to the police. The truth is that nothing happened, Josh got me naked, got me on the bed and then something happened, whether something flipped in his subconscious mind or whether he decided that I was just not worth the hassle he didn't do what I thought he had planned.
Instead he had shouted at me and told me that I was a worthless whore, that I didn't deserve what he had for me and that I certainly wasn't fit to be anywhere near Justin. Then he hit me. A single solid punch in the stomach which showed that he meant every word of his tirade.
As for going to the police, aside for the fact that he had done nothing physical other than hitting me, there was no way that I would be believed at least not without incriminating myself any further. In their eyes it would have been me that was the criminal for prostitution - I was not about to get into trouble just so that I could press charges that wouldn't stick anyway.
So I decided that it was best to just forget that it had happened. I had been all for putting the incident the night before with Justin to the back of my mind and I knew that I would do the same with this nastier incident with Josh. There was no way that I could know that this was not the end of it.
Josh
I was less angry by the time I got back to our hotel, I knew that I had to get myself under control because Justin was inside and if he was still as down as he had been earlier that day then he would need me. I took a few deep breathes as I entered the lobby and made my way up in the elevator. Thankfully by the time I reached our secure second floor I knew that I was calm enough to face Justin. I didn't however expect to find him still up and in the main room of our suite with Lance.
I couldn't help but listen in, standing in the doorway and hearing their words, especially when I heard Lance tell Justin that it would all be okay. I knew then that they were talking about the whore from the night before and I wanted to hear what they were saying. I hoped that Lance had the sense to tell Justin that it was not always like that - I certainly hadn't expected the words that I heard next, especially not from Justin's mouth.
"It was just so great Lance." Justin said wistfully. "He was so kind and attentive. I never expected sex with a guy to be like that. I thought it would be more..." Justin paused as if not having the words to explain it.
"exciting?" Lance offered.
"...aggressive..." Justin finished. Lance smiled, it seemed as if he was watching Justin grow up. I was just wondering what else I had missed of this conversation.
"So, if it was so good what's been with you today?" Lance asked. "You've been like a bear with a sore head all day."
"He dumped me." Justin said miserably.
Part of me wanted to go back and finish the job that I had started on Tim, but the other half was telling me that Justin needed me and this was where I should be right now. In a few days we would have left this city and Tim would be out of our lives forever. I could comfort Justin with whatever he needed and know that Tim would not be able to hurt us again.
"Justin, it was only meant to be for one night." Lance said. "You knew that Jayce paid him to be here with you. We just wanted to give you something nice for your birthday, a good memory. Nothing more."
"Yeah, I know." Justin sighed. "But he didn't take JC's money and I really felt as if we connected. I just wish that I could see him again."
I rolled my eyes at that, wondering what else that harlot had done to bewitch my angel.
"Justin, you sound as if..." Lance began, only to be interrupted by Justin as soon as he began.
"I know, I know." Justin said. "It sounds stupid and foolish and crazy but I think I love him..."
And that was the point at which my world fell apart and the only thought in my head other than that Justin loved someone that wasn't me what ... What had I done...?
I waited then, standing in the corridor of our expensive hotel room and wondering what I should do next, I knew that once Justin was gone I could sneak in and it would work out but I had to get him out of the room first. Thankfully after some time, maybe as much as ten minutes, Justin feigned tiredness and headed for bed. I made my way in a few moments later and was faced with Lance. I hadn't expected this type of confrontation so I was not prepared for it.
"Where have you been?" Lance asked angrily as soon as I stepped through the door. His voice was low and harsh. "Do you know that your best friend has been going through all kinds of hell tonight but you weren't here to hold him or comfort him were you?"
It was a rhetorical question, I knew that, and it made me feel even worse. I had let my own selfishness get the better of me and now we were all paying the price. My actions tonight could hardly make up for me not being there for Justin either, if anything they would only compound his problem.
"I'm sorry." I said as I tried to swallow the lump in my throat. My tongue felt too big for my mouth and I was hot, not knowing what words to say but knowing that I needed to speak them to someone. "I thought that I was helping. In the end I just made it worse."
"What did you do?" Lance asked me, his tone still hard but a little less angry than before.
I knew that this was the make or break moment, I had to confess because it was burning in me, guilt and pain at what I had done.
"I went to see Tim, the guy from last night, I wanted to show him what it was that he had done to Justin." I said, faltering as I failed to get out the exact words of what I had done.
"What did you do exactly?" Lance asked, this time asking me specifically to spell it out for him. I knew that he wouldn't let me get away with something so general. It was just so hard to admit to what I had done now that I felt guilty and shameful over hurting both Tim and Justin.
"I threatened him, humiliated him and treated him like a whore." I said, as I spoke the last words the flood barriers broke and the tears began to fall.
The tears didn't make Lance any more sympathetic, not that this was the reason I was crying, I just couldn't believe what I had done.
"And you thought that was helping?" Lance asked humourlessly.
I couldn't even meet his eye, instead I cried for all that I had done and for the scars that this event was likely to leave on my soul. A moment later Lance softened a little and moved to me, offering me a little comfort.
"Don't worry." Lance said softly. "I'll sort this out, for both you and Justin."
"Don't mess him up anymore." I begged. What I had done was reprehensible and I didn't want anyone else to hurt Tim in the name of Nsync.
"Don't worry." Lance said. "I'll try a different approach."
"What are you going to do?" I asked through the tears that were calming down throughout the conversation. My mind was more on what Lance had planned now than my earlier misdemeanour.
"I'll talk to him, apologise, maybe try to explain some of this to him." Lance said. "Don't worry about it. I'll sort it out."
And I believed that he would. Because unlike me Lance was the type of person that would do that for people. And on that sofa I made a resolution that I should be more like Lance, because he never would have done what I did and maybe, just maybe he was right and he could undo some of the mess that I had made.
I certainly hoped so.
TBC