Want

Title: Want. Author: Jezebel the Temptress Feedback: eh_oh_po@yahoo.com

Disclaimers: I do not know any of the celebrities mentioned herein, this has no element of truth to it. This is no reflection on their true sexualities or personalities of Justin Timberlake, JC Chasez, Lance Bass or any others mentioned. If you are underage for your area or if it is illegal for you to look at this why not go somewhere else.

*** Part 15 ***

Josh

I don't want to describe the particulars of that first night between us. I know that Tim will probably tell you the details but it was my first night with both Justin and Tim and I don't want to cheapen it with words. I will say that it was the night that I started to fall in love with Tim. I wanted him before that, I had always wanted him, but that night was the night that I started to fall in love. Tim was so brilliantly brave, admitting to us that this was what he wanted and overcoming his fears of me so we could all be together.

He was reluctant to let us stay, perhaps because he feared an awkward morning after, and so I agreed we would not stay all night. Justin argued with me on that point after Tim fell asleep but I managed to persuade him that it would not be a good idea if we weren't in our own rooms for wake up calls and dragged him away.

Justin was hard again as we left, and I had the chance to have him to myself. There was nothing stopping me from taking Justin back to my own room and letting him come again but it felt as if that would be a betrayal to Tim. I knew as soon as that thought crossed my mind that I was falling for him, and that was the moment I realised that I was starting to care for Tim as much as I did for Justin. The thought should have scared me more than it did.

I sent a horny Justin to his own room and retired alone to my hotel room to think.

The bed seemed impossibly large as I crawled between the bleached sheets and lay there staring at the mottled ceiling above.

It made no sense to me that I had gone from loathing Tim to loving him in a matter of weeks but I couldn't deny what I was feeling. This was more than a passing lust, or a last ditch attempt to be with Justin. If I had asked him before that day to walk away then I think Tim would have done so if I could persuade him that this was what Justin wanted and what would make Justin happy. I couldn't do that now because I wanted to make Tim as happy as well. I hoped that being together would make all of us happy.

Justin

The morning after Josh, Tim and I spent the night together for the first time there was a large breakfast for everyone involved on the tour. We tried to have these at least once a month as it gave everyone a chance to mix in a social environment. Johnny said that it helped cultivate an open system of operating but really it was just a chance for everyone to do something besides working.

Nsync had a reserved table at the front of the conference suite they were using for breakfast. Lance smiled to Tim as he entered with us, waving him over like an old friend, and Joey and Chris were oblivious.

Chris eyed Josh suspiciously as he took the seat next to mine instead of the one reserved for him next to Joey. The boys had tried to separate us as much as they could, to act as a buffer, while we worked out our issues. I knew that we would have to tell them about the newest developments in our relationship but I didn't think that this was the time or the place for that.

"Are you okay?" Joey asked as I sat down. "Did you sleep alright last night?"

"Yeah." I said, a small smile playing on my lips. "It was a good night."

"Josh?" Joey asked, obviously turning his attentions to someone that would give him a more insightful answer.

"I slept well too." Josh said.

There was a brief silence and then Lance spoke.

"I arranged that contract." He said to Tim as he pulled out some papers. "I wouldn't normally do this here but we're busy all day and I thought you might want to go over them while we're doing interviews."

"Thanks." Tim said, gaining the interest of his lovers as he slid them into his pocket.

"What's that?" Chris asked. "Non-disclosure papers?"

"Actually, it's a contract." Tim said after a look to Lance who had nodded his agreement. "Lance has agreed to represent me through FreeLance and I'm hoping that we'll also be able to work together on a couple of scripts he has for A Happy Place."

"That's good news." Josh said.

There was another brief silence and then Chris spoke again.

"Okay, no one else is going to mention it are they, so I have to ask, What happened to the white elephant in the corner?"

I smiled as I realised Chris' metaphor had confused Tim who briefly looked up. When he realised what he had done he blushed. Chris was obviously referring to the disagreements between Josh and myself.

"Tim and I talked yesterday." Josh replied. "And I've already spoken with Justin. I'm not saying that there aren't still going to be issues, but for the mean time we've settled our differences and are going to work together for the good of everyone on the tour."

Joey and Chris looked suspicious but let their concerns rest as we continued to eat breakfast.

A few people approached us with compliments or questions about the tour or recent press and a few approached Tim too, telling him how much they had enjoyed his film and how excited they were to meet him. No one questioned why Tim was on tour with us and if they had any comments they were kept to themselves. I knew that as soon as people found out that Tim was working with Lance it would explain his presence on the tour and was grateful to Lance for offering his services. I knew that his motives had not been entirely altruistic because representing Tim Caldwell would gain money and prestige for FreeLance but it was still something that was good of him.

For the first time since I saw Tim it was easy to believe that things were going to work out. All of the visible obstacles were replaced with a clear path to what looked to be an interesting future. I was actually looking forward to the rest of the tour.

Josh

The week that followed our night together was hectic and Justin and I rarely saw Tim unless it was to travel together. Tim was still uncomfortable with the thought of us all sharing a room together and neither Justin or I wanted to rush him so we would meet up in the brief moments that we did have and just spend time together. We didn't have time for long drawn out conversations about what we meant to each other or what that night had meant and in a way that was probably a good thing because it meant that none of us freaked out.

While Justin and I were busy with the monotonous motions of being on tour Tim was working on some scripts, going over the piles that he had been sent and, with Lance's help, working out what he wanted his next move to be.

When we hit New York with six weeks left on the tour we had two scheduled days off in the city and Justin and I knew that this was our chance to finally get some time with Tim. Of course we hadn't considered Tim's plans along with ours.

"I got us tickets to see 'The Woman in White' tonight." I told Tim and Justin as I entered Tim's room. The pair of them were lounging on the bed watching television and Justin had his head resting on Tim's thigh.

"That's great, but I have plans." Tim replied not taking his eyes from the screen. His fingers carded slowly through Justin's hair as he spoke.

"What are you doing?" Justin asked, sitting up so that he could make eye contact with Tim. There was a sense of jealousy about Justin's words and I felt guilty that I felt the same. We had only a short time off and both Justin and I had assumed that Tim would spend it with us.

"I'm having dinner with Carson Daly tonight." Tim replied.

"You can cancel on him, he won't mind." Justin said, clearly misunderstanding why Carson had invited Tim out on a date. I didn't think that Justin was naive as he was acting, I just think that he underestimated Carson Daly's appetite for celebrity cock.

"Justin, much as I want to spend time with you, I booked this days ago and I don't want to let Carson down." Tim responded. "Why don't you and Josh go out and have some time together, we can always meet up afterwards, or you can join Carson and I for drinks."

"How long have you known him anyway?" I asked. I wondered if Tim knew what he was letting himself in for.

"We've been exchanging e-mails for a while." Tim said. "He contacted me via Adam just after Justin came to see me. He was feeling guilty that he had given out Adam's address and wanted to make sure that there were no hard feelings."

"And that was the only reason?" I asked.

"He's not fishing for information on my relationship with Justin, if that is what you mean." Tim answered. "Carson has a couple of friends over at MTV and he offered me a guest presenting spot on TRL."

"In exchange for what?" I asked.

Tim laughed.

"Carson Daly?" Tim said between laughing. "You think that I would sleep with him? For a guest spot on his show?"

"You wouldn't be the first person." I added dryly.

"Well, I'm not that desperate." Tim replied. "We're just friends."

"Then you can cancel on him." Justin challenged, as much as I knew that Tim hated to be questioned I liked Justin's reasoning. If there was really nothing going on with Tim and Carson then he would want to spend time with us.

Tim slid from the bed and moved towards the door.

"Tim?" Justin asked.

"I'm getting out of here before I say something I regret." Tim said as he headed out of the door, pushing past me to get to it.

I heard the door click shut and then Justin looked at me.

"So, you want to go see a play tonight?" I asked Justin. His brow furrowed and I realised that neither of us wanted to go anywhere now except after Tim.

I wasn't sure why Tim had reacted that way but I wanted to find out so I went after him, stopping to knock on Lance's door as soon as I was outside. I wasn't sure what it was but Tim felt safe and often went to Lance for advice. I was glad he had a friend he could turn to.

"He's not here." Lance said as he answered the door.

I looked over his shoulder and knew that Lance was not alone.

"I can see him." I responded dryly.

"Well, he doesn't want to speak to you right now." Lance replied.

"Tim, I..."

"Give him a couple of hours." Lance said, pushing against my chest so he could shut the door.

I stood alone in the corridor after my bandmate locked me out and wondered what I had done wrong. I replayed the conversation in my head and couldn't work out what I had done.

Tim

James shut Josh out and then returned to me, sitting on the couch opposite me and picking up his drink. He took a couple of sips and then asked his question.

"This isn't just about work is it?" He asked, knowing that my questions about contracts could have waited.

I shrugged.

"You want to talk about it?"

I knew that I could say no but truthfully the anger was burning in me and I knew that if I didn't let it out then it would only further poison my soured relationship with Josh.

"Josh expected me to cancel my dinner plans tonight because he got tickets to a play. He didn't even ask if I wanted to go out, or if I was doing anything. He just assumed that Justin and I would do what he wanted."

"Did you tell him before that you were going out?" Lance asked.

"No." I responded. "But he and Justin both pushed for me to change my plans for them."

"And you feel that you've changed your plans enough for them?" Lance asked. "That you've put your life on hold to be on tour with Justin?"

"No." I said. There was a brief silence. "Well, yes, but it's more than that."

"What is it?" Lance asked.

"Josh accused me of whoring myself to further my career." I replied softly. I didn't like to admit it because the words tasted bitter in my mouth. I should never have trusted Josh after what had happened in the past but I thought we were getting past that. Then he accused me of selling out and the whole thing came back to the forefront of my mind.

"Who are you meeting?" Lance asked. It was a valid question.

"Carson."

"Carson Daly?" Lance asked, his voice a little higher than usual. "You're going out to dinner with him and you don't expect them to be a little suspicious."

"What is it about everyone that they think he's so incredible?" I had to ask, not sure why Lance would have the same reaction to Josh. Carson wasn't a sex god, he didn't control a large corporation or have any real say in my career. We were friends and that was it.

"Carson has a bit of a reputation." Lance said, trying to remain tactful. "He tends to promise people things to woo them into his bed and then not deliver. You wouldn't be the first young star that he's taken out to dinner and promised more coverage on MTV or a guest spot on TRL."

I frowned and knew that Lance had seen it.

"Just because it happened to someone else..."

"He's very persuasive." Lance said, his voice softer now, more vulnerable. "You don't know you're falling for the trap until..."

"You?" I asked, as I realised just why Lance sounded so faint.

"And Josh." Lance replied. "He tried the same trick on us both and that was when we realised that we were being duped. Thankfully neither of us took him up on his offer."

"I still think I should go to dinner with him." I answered truthfully. "I know he has hurt you in the past but that doesn't mean he hasn't changed."

"Okay." Lance said. "Make up your own mind, but don't let him fool you."

"I guess I should talk to Justin." I said, not wanting to think about Josh at the moment.

"I'll speak with Josh first." Lance replied. "Justin doesn't know about Carson, we try to keep things professional, but Josh will probably want to tell him now and tell him in his own way."

"Can I stay here?" I asked, not wanting to face them yet and knowing that the two men that were in my life were currently in my hotel room too.

"Sure." Lance said coolly as he left me alone.

I thought over what he had said, what Josh had said and what Justin had said and tried to balance it against what I knew. Carson was a decent guy and even if the others had bad experiences of him I thought I owed him at least a chance.

James was off talking to Josh and while he was gone I had a chance to do some thinking. I wasn't sure what Josh had meant by his words but I knew now he hadn't meant I was willing to sleep with Carson just for my career. Josh obviously thought that I needed protecting and in a way it was sweet, although he had gone about it in the wrong way. I trusted James' judgement and was beginning to respect Josh and wondered if I ought to trust them when they said not to go out with Carson.

I knew that it wouldn't be fair to cancel on him but would it be fair to leave my lovers at home while I was out with another man.

I made the decision and headed back to my hotel room, hoping to pick up my phone, what I heard was an argument that I was not supposed to witness.

"I don't care who he thinks he is..." Chris shouted. "Justin just came to my room in tears and I don't want to have that kind of person on tour with us."

"It's okay." James said, trying to calm down his bandmate. "This isn't his fault."

"They were just in his room together and now Justin is bawling again." Chris said. "I haven't seen him like this in months and I don't want to see it happen again."

I knew that I couldn't let them carry on. I was not about to let Nsync split up over me.

"Chris, I'm sorry that Justin is upset..." I said as I turned the corner and headed towards my room.

Chris looked up, confusion marring his face.

"It's not your fault." Chris said. "It's Josh."

"No." I replied. "I..."

"Josh and Justin have a lot of problems to sort out." James replied. "But I don't think that kicking Josh off the tour is going to help."

"What?" I asked incredulously. "I thought you meant..."

"You?" James asked. He shook his head slowly as if he had expected that answer from me. "You're not causing any problems."

"I need to talk to Justin." I said as I headed further down the corridor, pausing only when I realised that I didn't know where Chris' room was.

"He's in my room." Chris said, although I already knew that from overhearing their conversation. "209."

"Thanks." I replied. I took a few more steps and then stopped again. "Where's Josh?" I asked.

"He's still in your room." James said.

I looked at James, begging him to intervene. I knew that he had not wanted to get involved between the three of us but I had started this wheel in motion and did not want Josh to have the chance to leave before I stopped what I had started.

"I'll stay with him." James said after a while.

"Thanks." I said. "I'll come as soon as I've spoken with Justin."

Chris' frown deepened but James and I left without speaking further. Explanations could be given in the morning but for now I had to deal with the immediate crisis.

Justin

Maybe I relied on Josh too much in the first years of the group. I always thought that he would look after me the way that he had when we were on MMC but even after the crap he had pulled with Tim I had thought that he would look after me. But when he came to tell me about why he didn't want Tim going out with Carson I realised that in protecting me he had also kept secrets from me that I should have been told.

"Justin, you don't know Carson like I do." Josh said as he tried to explain it to me. "If Tim goes out with him then we might lose Tim completely."

"Tim wouldn't be unfaithful." I said, trusting Tim with my heart had been easy and I was not about to let Josh get me to doubt his love for me. I knew just how much Tim loved me and how he was willing to share that love with Josh despite everything that Josh had done to us in the past.

"No, but Carson might force him into a situation that Tim can't get out of." Josh replied. "He's done it before to other people. People that are less vulnerable than Tim."

"I know that, but you can hardly compare what happened to Wade with..."

"What?" Josh asked, interrupting me as I spoke. His tone was shrill as if I had surprised him.

"Carson tried to talk Wade into sleeping with him." Justin said. "I thought you knew that."

"No." Josh said, sinking down to sit on the bed with me as he lost his bluster. "I didn't know that."

"You mean there was someone else?" I asked.

"I have first hand experience of it." Josh replied.

"You?" I asked, not sure that I was hearing things correctly. "He did it to you and you never said anything?"

"Lance and I agreed that it was best if the rest of you didn't know. We tried to keep things professional with Carson for the good of the group."

"Lance knew?" I asked. "You told him but you didn't tell me. Josh, I'm supposed to be your best friend."

"I didn't tell Lance." Josh replied quietly. "He saw it happen. It happened to him too."

"You both lied to us." I was angry because if they had told us then I could have warned Wade. He wouldn't have pushed me away when I came out because his first experience with gay men would not have been Carson Daly seducing him into his bed in exchange for putting in a good word on his behalf with the MTV staff. Wade had made it to the channel on his own, getting his own show there, despite Carson's interferences but my friendship with Wade would never have been the same.

"Justin, you have to understand, we did this to protect you."

"I can't believe you didn't tell me. That you let me think that Carson was a friend and that even now, when Tim told us about his dinner date with Carson, that you didn't say something."

"I wanted to." Josh replied.

"Well, it's a little late for that." I said and ran for the door before he could see my tears. I had cried enough for Josh and I was not about to do it again.

I wanted to go to Tim. I wanted to tell him that I was sorry and explain to him why he couldn't see Carson but I knew that because of Josh that he didn't want to see either of us right now. I couldn't speak to Lance either because his betrayal was as deep as Josh's and so I went to the one friend that I had left.

When Chris opened the door with a surprised smile I felt guilty that I had ignored him in favour of my boyfriends but he greeted me with the same openness that Chris greets everyone and pulled me into a hug that told me he would make it all better. Josh used to hug me that way too but the way things were I wasn't sure that I would ever want to hug him again, let alone feel that safety with him.

Tim

I knocked again on Chris' door as I waited for Justin to answer. I had tried once before but he was ignoring me.

"Justin, it's Tim." I said softly as I knocked once more. "I know that you don't want to speak to anyone right now, but I need to talk to you. Please?"

There was a click as I heard the door unlatching and then Justin's face peered around the door. The puffiness around his eyes told me that he had been crying and I wanted to wrap him up in my arms and keep him safe from the world but knew that as I had been part of the reason for the tears I no longer had that right.

"Tim?" He asked, as if he was not sure if it was really me. "I thought that you were going out."

I wanted to laugh because I couldn't imagine how, after all of this, Justin would still think that I would go out with Carson and leave him to face this alone.

"James told me." I said, forestalling any further questions about why I was still here.

Justin nodded, opening the door and holding out his hand as an invitation to join him.

"So, I guess that you know about Josh's deceit then." Justin prompted.

"Justin..."

"He lied to me, to all of us, for years about what Carson did." Justin said. "Did he tell you that because of him keeping quiet that Carson carried on doing it?"

"Justin, Josh had his reasons." I answered. "And so did James." I added, reminding him that Josh was not the only one that had kept the secret. I knew that Justin was reacting emotionally and that he was not seeing the bigger picture.

"They weren't good enough."

"You've been lucky, Justin." I said. Justin frowned. I knew that he didn't take his career for granted but that was not the only way that he had been lucky. "I've been in similar positions to Josh and James. You don't think that you have a right to say no and even if you do then you know that no one is going to believe you."

"Which makes what Josh did to you even worse." Justin reasoned.

I hadn't been talking about Josh's reaction to my first being with Justin, or the angst afterward, although I could see why Justin would draw a parallel.

"I wasn't talking about that." I responded. "But I did meet a lot of people when I was working at the club in LA that thought that because they had a position of power that they could abuse it, that they could abuse me, and get away with it."

"That's different." Justin responded. "You had no choice."

"And at the start of your career neither did Josh and James. They weren't anyone yet but Carson, he had made it. One word from him and you might never have made it onto TRL, let alone had the most singles retired from the rundown because they had been at number one for so long."

"It still doesn't excuse what he did."

"No." I argued. "But it does explain it. Josh isn't looking for your forgiveness, Justin, he's looking for your understanding."

"I'm just not sure I can understand it." Justin replied.

"Then ask him to explain it, or at least trust me when I say that it wasn't easy for Josh to tell you this today and that he thought he was protecting you by not telling you before."

"You think I overreacted?" Justin asked.

"No." I said. "I think that perhaps all of us could have handled this better." I knew that for my part I shouldn't have run out on Josh and Justin and that I should have stayed to at least hear what they had to say.

"Is Josh okay?" Justin asked me after a period of silence where we were both reflecting on how we could have handled this differently.

"James is with him."

"Oh." Justin replied. "Should we go to him?"

"I'm going to talk to him."

"I might stay here, at least for a bit." Justin said. "There are a few things that I want to think about a bit more before I say anything to him."

"That's okay." I said. "I think that Josh and I need to talk as well."

"Okay." Justin said.

I stood to leave, turning to him when he didn't immediately get up to show me to the door.

"Are we okay?" I asked, knowing that the question was getting to be tiresome for all of us but similarly knowing that we still had a long way to go if we were going to make this complicated relationship work.

"Yeah." Justin replied.

"And you and Josh?"

"I don't know."

I nodded, at least he was honest.

I headed out, leaving Justin to do his thinking, and went back to my room. I wanted to offer Josh some words of hope that things would be okay, but if I was as honest as Justin had been I wasn't sure that I had any words to offer.

Josh

When I heard the initial knock on the door my first hopes were that Justin had understood what I said, had decided to forgive me, and had returned to listen to the rest of my story. These hopes were dashed when I saw Lance standing on the other side of the door.

I remembered a time not so long ago when he had come to me and asked if I was okay with Tim and Justin being together, when he had slept at my side so that neither of us had to be alone and I realised that he was here for the same thing. He wanted to know that I would not do anything stupid now that I was alone.

"Tim asked me to come and stay with you." Lance said, showing me that he didn't want to be there. "He's talking to Justin now."

"I told Justin." I told him, feeling that I owed him some explanation. "About Carson."

"I know." Lance replied. "I spoke with Tim."

"What did he say?"

"He seemed to take it well." Lance replied. "At least better than Justin did."

"Did you know that he did it to Wade too?" I asked, the guilt of that still at the surface. Intellectually I knew why James and I had agreed to keep Carson's dirty secret but I had not thought that in doing so we would hurt someone else, especially not someone that we claimed as a friend.

"I suspected." Lance replied.

That surprised me.

"Is there anything that you don't know?" I asked him bitterly.

"I'm not sure why you're sitting there thinking that Justin and Tim aren't going to come back to you." He answered, reading the thoughts that had been crossing my mind.

"Why not?" I asked. "They were doing fine before I entered the equation. They'll be fine without me."

"If you think that is true then you're a bigger fool than Chris said you were." James replied. "You know that he's talking about kicking you off the tour?"

"Maybe it would be better for everyone if I left." I replied. I wasn't sure if I meant it but it sounded like a good idea. I felt as if all I had done since LA was mess things up for everyone. I had nearly ruined Justin's chance at happiness and had caused stress for everyone on the tour with my arguments with Justin. If Justin didn't forgive me then there was no way that we would be able to continue the tour, maybe not even continue as Nsync while I was still a member.

"That is not an option." Lance replied.

I wanted to argue with him, to tell him that he was wrong and that it would be better for everyone if I just left but the knock on the door interrupted that thought.

Lance got up to answer the door and I was astounded to see Tim there. Lance was right, I hadn't thought that either he or Justin would be back. It took me a moment to realise that this was his room and that he had probably just come back to get his things.

"Hi." Tim said softly as he came towards me.

I waited for him to start shouting, for him to accuse me as Justin had done or to blame me for how badly things had gone. I didn't expect him to sit next to me and take my hand.

"I'm sorry." I said, feeling the need to make this easier for him. I had made so much of Tim's recent life hard, the least I could do was make breaking up with me easier for him. I wasn't really sure if we could call it breaking up because there was no formal dating between us.

"It's okay." He responded.

"I'm going to go." Lance interjected, pulling both of us from our conversation.

Tim nodded but did not speak as Lance left and shut the door behind him. I wondered if Lance's presence was what had stopped Tim's ire but again it did not come.

"I've spoken to Justin, he's still a bit upset about this but I think he understands now." Tim said. "I'm sorry that I didn't trust your judgement about Carson and I'm sorry that I didn't stay and let you explain why you were saying what you did. I understand why you did it."

"Do you?" I asked. "I'm not sure I do."

"You were trying to protect me and trying to protect Justin." Tim said.

"I didn't do a very good job of that, did I?"

"Don't be so hard on yourself, Josh."

"No." I replied. "I hurt you because I was trying to protect Justin and then I hurt both of you because I wanted to protect you from Carson. Maybe the person that you need protecting from is me."

"No." Tim said adamantly.

"All I do is hurt you." I said, looking at him and seeing that even as I spoke the words I was only causing more pain. "I don't want to hurt you anymore."

"Then you have to let this go." He replied, coming closer to me and kissing me softly. "You have to let it all go. What happened with Carson and what happened in LA. We'll never move past it if you're still feeing guilty about that."

I turned away, not wanting to feel his gentle caresses because I knew that I did not deserve them.

"Don't turn away from me." Tim said. "I love you."

I gasped softly at the revelation. I thought that I had misheard the words for a moment until Tim kissed me again and I felt them in his touch.

"We should...Justin..." I said, my breath coming in short bursts as I tried to fight being overwhelmed with emotions. Tim loved me but I didn't deserve that love and I knew that sooner or later Tim would realise that too.

"Justin needs some time to think." Tim said. "I wanted to come and see you, to talk to you and make sure that things are going to be okay."

"I don't know." I replied. "Chris wants me off the tour, and I think he might be right about the tensions."

"There wouldn't be a tour without you." Tim pointed out. "Justin will come around and once we've sorted out this crisis I'm sure that we can work out any other issues that Chris might have."

"I guess we're not going to the theatre tonight." I said lamely because I didn't have anything else to say.

Tim laughed.

"I guess not."

"You want to get some room service?" I asked.

Tim smiled and reached for the menu.

We both ordered and then sat in silence again.

The knock on the door twenty minutes later was a break in our otherwise comfortable silence but my stomach told me I needed to answer it if we were going to eat. I stood and opened the door only to find that the twenty dollar bill I had in my hand for a tip was redundant.

"Can I come in?" Justin asked as he looked behind me and towards Tim. "We need to talk."

"Sure." I said as I allowed him in, not sure whether he wanted to talk to me or Tim or both of us.

"I'm sorry for walking out on you earlier." Justin said to no one in particular. "But I still think you did the wrong thing."

"We all make mistakes." Tim said as he looked towards Justin. "I know I've made a few."

"I hope that you don't think being here is one of them." Justin responded. "I keep thinking that your life would be much simpler without us in it."

"Can you forgive me?" I asked, knowing that Justin was still angry but needing to know where I stood. Tim was right, if Justin couldn't get past this then there was a good chance that we wouldn't continue with the tour.

"Forgive you? Yes. But I can't forget what you did so easily." Justin replied. "But Tim has explained it to me and while I disagree with what you did I can see why you did it."

"So we're okay?" I asked.

"I guess so."

Tim let out a soft sigh and lay back on the bed.

"Tim?" Justin asked, sounding worried.

"I just wonder if we'll ever get past all of this and be able to function like normal people."

"There is nothing normal about us, or the situation that we're in." Justin replied.

"I know, and I wouldn't trade what we are building here for anything, but sometimes I wish we could be normal." Tim replied.

I couldn't help but agree.

TBC