Want

Title: Want. Author: Jezebel the Temptress Feedback: eh_oh_po@yahoo.com

Disclaimers: I do not know any of the celebrities mentioned herein, this has no element of truth to it. This is no reflection on their true sexualities or personalities of Justin Timberlake, JC Chasez, Lance Bass or any others mentioned. If you are underage for your area or if it is illegal for you to look at this why not go somewhere else.

*** Part 14 ***

Tim

It had never been part of my life plan to have sex with Josh. I couldn't really even see myself being friends with him but I had realised that I needed him on side in order to keep Justin and circumstances caused the rest of it to happen.

I wasn't exactly sure what I was supposed to say when Justin asked if I was okay. I didn't know how I felt, given the fact that I had been through the emotional ringer in the last few hours that was to be expected but afterwards I was fighting my natural reaction to run away. My childhood was not exactly filled with examples of how to get by in an adult relationship and I had little experience of it in my own life. I needed some time away.

"We're leaving soon." Josh said, still looking at me with eyes that sparkled with want and awe and something that I didn't want to believe was the beginning of something more. I could barely cope with seeing that look in Justin's eyes, it was worse when it came from Josh because I couldn't believe that two men, as beautiful and successful as they were would want me, it was hard enough to believe one would give me the time of day. "I can leave if you want to be alone with Justin, I know that you probably have things you want to talk about and..."

"No." I heard myself say.

"Tim, I..." Justin started but seeing the look on my face he stopped.

I wasn't sure what it was that they saw there, possibly my fears or my anxiety that this was going to end, but Justin started to come closer and was only stopped by some unseen signal from Josh.

"Do you want us both to go?" Josh asked. "Do you need to be alone?"

I realised then how astute Josh was because he seemed to know what I needed.

"I might go and talk to James for a while." I said.

It was a compromise. It would give me the time away that I needed but would not put me on my own. I had spent enough of my life alone to realise that at certain times I needed to be around people so that I wouldn't drive myself crazy with being alone with my self-destructive thoughts. This was one of those times.

"He could probably do with the company." Josh said. "Lord knows he works too hard."

Justin was sitting quietly. He had barely said anything after checking that we were okay. It worried me to see him this quiet.

"Justin, Are you okay?" I asked, realising that he had not said how he felt about the two of us together.

Was this new interaction between Josh and I a cause for concern? Should I have thought more about Justin in this, instead of putting myself first?

"Yeah." Justin said, letting out a small sigh. There were tears in his eyes and I wondered what part of what we had done had upset him.

"What's wrong?" Josh asked, his voice tinged with concern.

"Nothing." Justin replied. "I just..."

The tears started to fall then and Josh went to him. I got another chance to see how close years of friendship had brought them as I watched Josh hold Justin and allay his fears. In the past I would have felt threatened by this, but something about that day made me realise that Justin needed Josh as much as he needed me. There was no need to be jealous because Justin wanted, and needed, both of us.

"It's okay." Josh said softly. "Tim and I are going to be okay, the three of us are going to be okay."

"I know." Justin said. "I'm just glad to have you back, to have you both back."

Finally Justin had the pair of us in his life without having to worry about how the other would feel and there was no risk that we force him to choose, not now that Josh and I were finally working things out.

It was the first step in the eventual outcome of our story.

Tim

Lance was on his bus when I found him. He was, as Josh had suspected, up to his eyes in paperwork and for a moment I felt guilty at interrupting him but he was the closest thing that I had to a friend on the tour and he had said that if I needed to talk I could come to him and I hoped he would be as supportive of this latest change in my unorthodox love life as he had with the previous developments.

"Hi," I said awkwardly as I entered the bus and manoeuvred my way around the security. I had brought my book with me, and my cell phone, but felt as if I was intruding as I saw the scripts in front of him.

"Hi." Lance said, casting aside his work as if it meant nothing and turning his full attention to me. He checked me over with a look of concern and then held out his hand to offer me a seat. "Are you okay? I thought you were going to spend some time with Justin and Josh."

"I did."

"So, what went wrong?" He asked.

I looked over my shoulder and saw that security were still standing in the doorway. I didn't want to say anything in front of them because I was not sure exactly what they knew.

"Dre, do me a favour, go and check on the others for a while." Lance said. "I'm not going anywhere else, and the driver is up front on the radios if anything happens."

The security guard didn't like it but he left, obviously knowing who was in charge. He also shut the connecting door so that we had some privacy. He must know something was going on or else he would not have thought of that.

"Josh and I sorted a few things out."

"Do I need to call him an ambulance?" Lance asked, he was only half joking. I hope that he knew that I would not resort to hitting Josh but given the circumstances I suppose another man might.

"No, he's fine." I said. "We talked, we cried, we made out."

To Lance's credit he didn't laugh.

He didn't say anything.

"It's mad," I continued, "because I didn't really know that I was attracted to him until today, at least I wouldn't admit it to myself."

"How did he take it?" Lance asked, clearly concerned about Josh's penchant for violent outbursts where I was concerned.

"I think he feels the same way."

"And Justin?" Lance asked. "How are you going to tell him?"

"He was there." I said. "At least for the end of it. I think that he is probably relieved that Josh and I can be in the same room as each other now."

"So why are you over here instead of on the bus with them?"

"I got scared." I said, wondering why I felt the need to unload this on Lance and why I trusted him. "I don't know if I can do this, it is hard enough to be with Justin, let alone Josh as well."

"And you're thinking about a threesome with them?" Lance queried, asking all of the tough questions that I was trying to avoid. Perhaps this was why I had really come to him, because he would allow me to confide in him, push me to find the answers I needed and then not judge me when I discovered them.

"I haven't really thought about it. I mean, that was why I needed some time away really, to work it out in my head."

"Did you want to be alone?" Lance asked.

"No." I replied. "Actually, I wanted to talk to you about something else."

"Really?" Lance asked.

"Do you remember offering to take me on with FreeLance?" I asked. "I wondered if the option was still there, I mean I would understand if you don't want to work with me now, what with everything that is going on but..."

"The offer is still open." Lance interrupted. "And I can get a contract drafted by the end of today."

"Great." I said.

Lance pulled out his phone to make a call, as if he was worried that I would change my mind. I allowed myself the chance to take a breathe and think about what I was doing. I needed an agent and I needed a distraction to take my mind off everything with Justin and Josh. I couldn't leave because I had promised Justin that I would stay to the end of the tour but I couldn't rest on my laurels and wait for things to happen, partly because it would drive me crazy and partly because the buzz around "Murder in the Gilded Cage" would not last forever. Lance was the perfect solution because I knew that I could trust him and I knew that he would work hard for me while still understanding the situation that I was in. I didn't think that I would find anyone else that would understand me as well as he did.

My thoughts were interrupted when Lance came off the phone.

"It's sorted. My lawyers are going to fax over a contract to the hotel. You can get someone to look it over if you want to."

"It's okay." I replied. "I trust you."

I pulled out my book and started to read it.

Lance knew that the conversation was over for now, and seemed happy to let me read. I knew that if I needed to talk he was there and for the first time it felt as if there was someone other than Justin that I could turn to. In time I hoped that Josh and I would be that for each other too. I had been happy to have Justin in my life, now I felt blessed. There was still a lot to work out but I felt ready to take it on.

Justin

Arriving at our next location on the tour I was more nervous than I had been in years. It was not the tour, or the place or even the thousands of screaming fans outside the tour bus that were scaring me but what was going on in my own head and heart.

I knew inside me that most people didn't fall in love with two people, and even fewer got the chance to be with the two people that they loved but I had two of the hottest guys, and at the same time and all I could think was that there was something wrong with that. I had been brought up to see the conventional relationship as two people, a man and wife, loving each other until the day they died but had stretched that when I realised I was gay. Would it be much more of a stretch to have three men in a relationship than two? How would the dynamic of three people work, let alone the sex...

That was definitely the hottest thought in my head.

I fancied Josh.

I fancied Tim.

The idea of the two of them together was hot.

The idea of the three of us was hotter still.

I wasn't sure how I would cope with the reality of it.

"Justin?" Josh called, looking at me with the concern and love that he had always shown me. It was more than fraternal now. I knew that this stemmed from somewhere deeper. "We're there."

"Thanks." I said, pulling myself from my thoughts as I grabbed my bag and headed for the door.

Josh stopped me with a hand on my arm.

"Are you sure you're okay?" He asked.

"Yeah." I replied. "I just..."

"I'm worried about him too." Josh said, surprising me by knowing what I was thinking. Tim had spent the trip with Lance on his bus and had left Josh and I alone. The two of us had both spent the journey separately, Josh in his bunk sleeping and me in the lounge working out my mixed emotions. As soon as we hit the hotel it would be the first time that the three of us were together and we each knew that we had to talk. Talking was never really my strong point though and I hoped that I could rely on Josh to do most of the work.

"The sooner we get inside the sooner we can start to figure things out." Josh added when he realised that I wasn't going to respond.

I nodded, not sure that I could trust my words at that moment, and headed out. Josh didn't stop me this time.

My eyes met Lance's as he stepped off his bus and I knew that Tim had told him. There was a small hint of something in Lance's glance, a brief flicker before he looked away. There wasn't any judgement in his eyes but it was more of a warning. I knew that if we screwed this up, whatever this thing between the three of us was, then there would be a greater price than just losing Tim, Josh and I ran the risk of losing Lance as well. I wasn't sure that I wanted the pressure of that on my conscience, but I didn't really have a choice. No one ever said that being in love was easy, but I knew it was worth it in the end.

Tim

I busied myself with the rituals of moving into a new hotel room, unpacking the necessities from the bags that had been brought up, and cleaning myself up a bit so that I wouldn't have to think about my lovers who I knew would be waiting.

It was probably fifteen minutes later when the knock came at my door and I knew my time was up.

I hesitated for only a second before moving to open it. I was surprised to see Josh and Justin waiting together on the other side.

"You don't have to say anything." Josh said before I could open my mouth. "If you still need more time to yourself then we'll disappear until you come find us, but we wanted you to know that we're here for you, when you're ready."

The concern and care in Josh's words allayed my fears and I realised that I had been running away from both of them when I switched buses. I thought I needed to think things over, to take a step back and make sure that I was doing the right thing but really I had been delaying the inevitable.

If I was honest with myself I knew that I loved Justin, and that I was rapidly falling for Josh too.

I didn't have to think about this anymore because despite all of the obvious objections, despite what people might think, or how I thought I ought to feel, being with the two of them felt like the most natural thing in the world.

"I'm ready." I said, not sounding at all sure.

Josh ushered Justin in, stepping inside and closing the door behind him. I swallowed reflexively as I started to feel the panic rising in me again, just as it had on the bus. Of course that made me think about what had happened afterwards and the panic was eased by the flash of erotic images that entered my mind: kissing Josh's luscious mouth, him on his knees as he sucked me off.

I reached for him, pulling him to me and not wanting to think about the fear. I could push that down inside and bury it with the passion just as we had done on the bus. Josh captured my mouth, kissing me with the wanton abandon that you would expect from someone with an artistic temperament but then slowing it slightly after the initial spark of need had dulled.

I sucked on his tongue, enjoying the way that he kissed, so different from Justin. Justin was an eager kisser, lots of action and groping. Josh was more languid in his kisses, hands gently stroking down my back as he tried to map and memorise every corner of my mouth with his tongue.

After my time at the club kissing was one of the most erotic things I could share with a lover that wasn't tainted by my prostitution. Josh reminded me just how sexy kissing could be and I didn't notice we were moving till the backs of my legs hit the bed.

Josh pulled away then, his eyes searching mine to see that I was okay with this.

"Are you okay?" He said, voicing his concerns.

I stood startled for a minute, not sure if I could answer.

"I think you broke him." Justin said, coming to my side, taking my hand and squeezing it gently. "Tim, are you okay?"

"Uh huh." I breathed softly. Kissing Josh was like a drug and I thought that perhaps I needed another fix. I reached for him again but Josh shook his head and stepped back slightly, allowing Justin entry into my personal space.

JC had broken down my boundaries and I was relaxed and happy. Justin started to kiss me and the tension was back, not out of fear or panic now but out of need. Justin kissed me deeply, his hands roaming around, moving down to cup my butt and giving my ass cheeks a squeeze. Justin was playful when we kissed, teasing and tormenting me as he slowly drove me insane.

"Too fast." I said, pulling away from Justin and panting as I found it hard to breathe. Justin moved back a fraction of a step, our chests no longer touching but our hands still joined.

"Sorry." Justin said, biting his lip self-consciously. "You're just so..." He searched for a word, not sure what he wanted to say.

"Intoxicating." Josh whispered into my ear. I hadn't been aware of his proximity until then, I felt one hand at my back, another wrapping around my waist and moving me slightly. "beautiful." He continued.

"Sexy." Justin added.

I didn't know if I was going to be able to stand this from both of them. I tried to ignore the words, not wanting to believe them but Justin and Josh seemed so sincere that I knew this was more than lust talking.

Josh put one knee up on the bed, moving me back with him, his hand guiding me until I moved backwards with him and onto the bed.

"Too fast?" He asked, turning my earlier words into a question.

I couldn't answer, not while Justin was slowly crawling up my body and reaching for my belt.

A hand met Justin's as he reached to unbuckle my jeans.

"Tim, I need to know if you are okay with this." Josh said. "I don't want to break the moment, but I need you to be sure."

"I'm sure." I said without thinking. "I want this."

Josh's hand moved, allowing Justin to unbuckle my jeans and open them. Justin pulled them down, not bothering to remove them completely before leaning down and taking my half-hard cock in his mouth.

He mirrored the moves that Josh had used earlier, adding some of his own. Justin licked and sucked me for a few moments while Josh watched, then Josh reached down and started to remove the rest of my clothes. Justin sighed slightly, shifting so that Josh could undress me, but did not release his suction of my cock. JC moved back up the bed, undoing my shirt.

Justin pulled back and sat on his haunches between my spread legs.

I wondered how I looked to him, spread naked on the bed, my cock still glistening with his saliva and my pre-cum. I blushed slightly at the thought and Justin's smile deepened.

"Strip for us." Josh said as he looked at Justin. "Tim and I think you're a little overdressed to come to our bed."

"You're still dressed too." Justin pointed out.

Josh didn't hesitate and pulled his T-shirt over his head, leaving him topless and allowing me my first full view of his ripped chest. Some people would describe Josh as skinny but he worked out, muscles corded his back and abs and I knew that he was fit from both working out and dancing onstage. I couldn't help myself and reached a hand out, stroking it across a shoulder, down his collar bone and towards his chest. Josh shuddered when I pinched his nipple.

"Hey." Justin said, pouting.

"Strip for us." Josh said, his voice a little less sure now that my hand had wandered lower. "I think that Tim is too busy unwrapping his present to do anything for you."

I pulled my hand away, not wanting Justin to feel left out and turned my attention to him. He rose from the bed and for a moment I thought that JC's words had upset him, then I saw him slowly moving to a song that was only in his head and start to remove his shirt.

Justin was a dancer by trade and it was clear in his movements as he took his clothes off. This was nothing like it had been at the club where I used to do this for a living, I had to remind myself that this show was only for Josh and I and that there was nothing sordid about Justin's show.

I had seen his body before but never had he slowly tantalised me with the leisurely strip tease.

Josh shifted slightly next to me on the bed, and I reached over, undoing his pants and pushing them down. I think he hesitated because he didn't want to rush me, I loved him for that, but didn't want him to be uncomfortable. Josh pushed them down further and finally kicked them off.

Justin was working on his pants now and I knew that soon he would be naked.

I froze as I felt a hand sliding up my thigh. I was busy watching Justin and it took me a moment to remember that Josh was at my side. He started to pull his hand away but I stopped him and instead pushed it further up. I was hard from Justin's ministrations before and knew I would not last long. When I felt Josh's hand close around me I shuddered with need.

Josh kissed my cheek softly, a signal of agreement to my silent plea and then started to stroke me with long, hard strokes.

I'd had hand jobs before, but never from someone who wanted me as much as Josh told me he did. He continued the stream of words, telling me how much he wanted me, how he needed me as he stroked. Justin was naked now, but rather than stopping he had started to touch himself as Josh was touching me, mirroring Josh's long, hard strokes but using his other hand to cup his balls, rub his nipples and touch himself. I came in long spurts just as Justin started to grow fully hard.

"Beautiful." Josh said again as he reached for his T-shirt and wiped me down, and then wiped his hand.

"Come to bed." I said when I regained my cognitive abilities. Justin still stood at the end of the bed, his cock hard and leaking.

"Are you sure?" He asked, his insecurities showing through.

"Josh is hard too." I said. "I think he might want you to help him out."

"Yeah." Justin said dreamily, moving towards us. I scooted over slightly, making room for Justin on the bed and Josh smiled to me.

"You have to stay." Josh said seriously as he saw me move again as he pulled Justin in for a kiss.

"There is no place I would rather be." I said, seeing Josh pull Justin down and kiss him slowly, and lovingly. "Besides, we're in my room."

The joke fell on deaf ears as the two of them were so caught in the kiss, Josh using the pre-cum from Justin's erection to finish them both. It didn't take long, the heightened sexual experience had driven then both to despair and Josh came first, closely followed by Justin.

Justin collapsed on Josh in an exhausted heap, I slid from the bed, unnoticed in their fatigue, and went to the bathroom. I cleaned the rest of the drying cum from myself and then found a washcloth and towel for my boys.

When I returned Justin and Josh were laying side-by-side on the bed, their breathing shallow.

I wiped them both down, enjoying the chance to pet them both, and then dried them softly.

"Come back to bed." Josh said, reaching for me.

"I don't think we'll all fit here to sleep." I said.

Truthfully I wasn't sure that I was ready to sleep with two men in my bed, despite what we had just shared. Sex was something that I had shared often in the past but just sleeping was an intimacy I had shared only with Justin.

"Just rest for a bit." Josh said. "We'll go back to our own rooms later."

So I joined them, laying next to Justin who was in the middle.

Soon I was overcome by sleep, all worries about sleeping there gone as I realised just how tired I was.

True to his word Josh and Justin left sometime during the night. I tried not to feel too disappointed when I woke alone the next morning, after all that was what I had wanted. Wasn't it?

To Be Continued