Disclaimer: The following is a work of fiction and any resemblance to real people or events is purely coincidental. The story contains graphic descriptions of sex between men. Anyone who is forbidden by law to read such material must stop now. This story is posted to the Nifty Archive solely for the enjoyment of its readers.
Waiting for Love: Chapter 16
The doorbell rang. 7:00 AM. It must be Tim. Dave was so nervous he felt like he would vomit. The Army never trained him for emotional shit like this.
""Hi, Uncle Dave! Ready to hit the trail?" Tim's voice was quite cheerful.
"Let's see just how good you really are. Can you keep up with an old man?"
"Only one way to find out!" Tim challenged as he turned and started of down the street. Dave struggled a little but quickly caught him. About three miles later as the house came into view, the two men were sprinting the last 100 yards, Dave in front. Upon reaching the front steps Dave virtually collapsed. Although Dave won, Tim was still dancing around on his toes like he was ready for more.
"I'm going (gasp) to get you (gasp) for abuse of (gasp) the elderly. (Gasp)"
"You're not so old. And just look at that hot bod!" Tim exclaimed. "Why, you're in better shape than most of the guys on my football team. And a lot better looking."
'He's not giving up.' Dave thought. "Head for the back porch and I'll join you in a second."
Tim entered the house, walked down the hall and collapsed in the wicker sofa on the back porch while Dave passed through the kitchen and grabbed two beers from the fridge. He tossed one to Tim and plopped his tired ass in another chair. They sat quietly sipping their beers for a few minutes trying to cool down. Dave could tell Tim was staring at him while he was trying to avoid eye contact. Soon the beer was gone and the silence was starting to get very loud.
"Another beer?" Dave asked.
"My dad would kill me. Especially this early in the day."
As the only adult present, Dave knew it was his responsibility to open the discussion about why they were there, awkwardly avoiding it.
"I have to confess, the question you threw at me last Thursday knocked me back on my heels."
"I'm sorry, Uncle Dave. I just didn't know who else to turn to."
"I'm glad you did. It tells me you trust me a great deal. And I like to think it says you love me."
"I do." Tim replied. If only he could show Dave how much he loves him.
"Well, let me jump right in. And we have to agree on some rules here. First, you can stop this conversation at any time, just say 'stop'. Second, I am not the least bit bothered by this topic, so be blunt; I intend to be. Third, the only stupid or bad question is the one not asked; if it's on your mind, toss it out on the table for discussion. I don't want you going away with unasked or unanswered questions. Can we agree?"
"Agree!" Tim answered with a grin. 'Damn, why does he have to be so good looking?' Dave thought.
"If you want to add any rules, go for it."
"The ones you laid out sound pretty good to me."
"OK. Let me start with a little lecture. Your question was, how do you know if you are gay? Well... I'll make this in a form of questions so you can answer as you like. When you see a couple, do you check out the guy first including his basket, before you notice the girl? (Tim looked at the floor. That was a yes.) When you meet a guy and shake his hand, do you look at his hand while surreptitiously glancing to check out his package? (Another slight nod at the floor.) When you see a porn video, are you more interested in the guy's dick than the gal's pussy? (Another nod at the floor. Tim's eyes are closed.) When you masturbate, do you think of a special guy you know or have just met?"
"Yes." Tim almost whispered. Pain was evident in his voice.
"When you have sex with a woman, are you really think about a guy?"
"That's enough!" Tim sobbed loudly. "Yes, yes, yes, to all those questions." He looked up at Dave. Tears were in his eyes. "And more!" They sat quietly for several minutes. "Uncle Dave, What am I going to do? I don't want to be like that. What'll my friends say? What about Mom and Dad? What do I do?" His voice was beginning to crack a little.
Dave rose from his chair, sat next to Tim, wrapped his arm around his shoulder and pulled him close so his head rested on Dave's chest.
"Tim. It's not the end of your world; it just seems that way. It doesn't make any difference to me. It won't make any difference to your 'true' friends, you'll just find out who they really are. But nobody says you have to come out now that you know. And, trust me when I say it won't matter to your parents. They love you more than I do, if that's possible."
"Jim. What will Jim think? I've heard him say some pretty awful things about 'homos' and 'queers'. Is he going to turn away?"
"We won't know until the time comes. I don't expect you'll be running naked through the middle of town wearing only a sandwich board proclaiming 'Look At Me, I'm Gay!' You'll pick the time and place to come out, if you ever do. Not every one does. So, don't panic. You have a lot of time to think about this. What do you even know about gay sex?"
"Not much." Tim turned and looked at Dave for a moment debating whether he should tell any more. But, if there was ever a time for being candid, this was it. "When I jerk off, I fantasize about sucking a cock. Some times I think about jerking off another guy. What else is there?"
"Lots." Dave replied, still kind of reeling from the candid confession he just heard. He wouldn't have had the guts to tell anyone stuff like that when he was Tim's age. But then, when he was that age he didn't have anyone like him to talk to.
"Before we get into that, I want to make sure you know about some health issues, safe sex, if you will."
"You mean STDs? Dad's already talked about that."
"Good. That's good. Now lets add some stuff. Did he talk about hepatitis?"
"No!" Tim replied with a puzzled look on his face.
"Hepatitis is an infection gays are exposed to when they engage in rimming."
"What's that?"
'Oh shit. I think I've just blown it.' Dave thought as he began to feel his nerves fray. He wished he had an instructional video. Well, he did. But that would 'out' him to Tim. Just how important was it for him to arm Tim with all the knowledge he needed to know. He was beginning to see where Jack was headed during their last discussion. And, he did have an instructional video, of sorts.
They had been sitting on the porch long enough that the low humidity had dried their clothes.
"Tim, I have a video I think you should see. I have to warn you, it's nothing like you have ever seen before. What do you think?"
"What's it about?"
"It's a gay video. It's shows guys having sex." He watched the expressions on Tim's face change several times like you could almost see the wheels turning.
"Kewl!" Tim said as a nasty grin consumed his face and he almost sprang out of his seat ready to go. Dave stood and walked into the house with Tim close behind. Tim followed Dave into his bedroom where Dave had a large screen TV. Dave went to his video library and searched for a few seconds then pulled one out, opened it and slid it into the VCR and turned on the TV.
"Take your shoes off and sit down on the bed. Put a pillow behind your back so you'll be more comfortable." Dave kicked his shoes off and sat propped against the headboard on the other side of the bed with a pillow behind his back. "I'm going to leave the sound off because the music is almost as bad as what little dialogue there is. That way I can comment when I feel the need to."
Tim was so nervous he almost couldn't sit still. The thought of seeing his first gay video was such a turn-on that he was already hard and starting to leak precum. He moved around trying to adjust his tool without letting Uncle Dave see him do it. His mind was so overwhelmed by the situation his brain wasn't into its analytical mode and it hadn't yet occurred to him to question how his uncle would have such material. The title appeared on the screen, "Inch by Inch." 'Now there's a great title!' Tim thought.
During the video, Dave would comment about certain action as it occurred. "Now, that's rimming that I mentioned earlier. You can get hepatitis from exposure to fecal matter. Hepatitis is bad stuff; it can destroy your liver. Not a pretty way to go." Dave continued a running commentary as the action changed. Occasionally Tim would gasp of comment like, "Wow!" or "Holy shit, he's big!" or "Doesn't that hurt?" It gave Dave plenty of opportunities to explain a lot of things.
When the video was finished, Dave stopped it, placed it in the re-winder, and then placed it back into the library. When he turned around, Tim was still sitting on the bed, his knees drawn up to his chest with his arms wrapped around his knees. Tim was staring at him. Dave just stood looking back waiting for Tim to ask the questions that was written all over his face.
"Uncle Tim, why do you have a gay video?"
"You're a smart kid, figure it out." And they continued staring at each other. Tim's mouth dropped open.
"NO! You can't be!" Tim exclaimed softly with total in disbelief. "Not you! How! Why! I don't understand!"
"Like I said, no everyone is 'out'. I choose not to be. And now, I have trusted you with my most private, most personal information. I had to believe in you or I wouldn't have allowed you to find out. You have to keep this just between us. You can't tell anyone. One cardinal, unbreakable rule is, you can not talk about other people being gay, you can ONLY talk about yourself being gay. If you are with a group of gays, do not assume they know about someone else who is not present. Just because I tell you, does not mean I am 'out'. Is that clear?" Dave looked sternly at Tim hoping convey the seriousness of what he had just disclosed.
"Yes Sir!" Tim replied sharply with an equal degree of seriousness.
"Before I continue, do you have any questions you want to ask?"
"Can I ask who you are with?"
"No. Just as you must not talk about anyone but yourself, I must follow the same rule."
"OK. Yeah, now I get it. Your privacy includes anyone you may be with. Kind of like don't ask and don't tell."
Dave laughed. "Yeah, kind of like that. Is it OK if I continue my lecture?" Dave smiled.
"Sure. I'm all ears." Tim smiled back.
"Well, that video we just watched showed a lot of gay sex between guys who get paid to do that. I have a lot more that show the same. What you didn't see was gay love. That's hard to catch on video. In fact, now that I think of it I've never seen a video that even tried to deal with love. Anyway, love is much different from sex, as I'm sure you know. When you boinked one of your lady friends..."
"You mean the Predator Pussies?" Tim interrupted laughing.
"You mean they still call them that?"
"Yeah, isn't it awful!"
"How do you feel doing it? You know, the feeling inside, not the feeling in your dick and balls?" At first Tim was a little startled by Dave's frank use of raw language. But he got used to it.
"Well, physically, it felt great. But inside...?" Tim sat thinking. "I'd have to say kind of... empty."
"Exactly! And what do you think of those girls? What do you call them besides Predator Pussies?"
"Easy."
"What else?"
"Sluts."
"What are sluts?"
"Girls who sleep around. They'll give head or spread their legs for any swinging dick."
"The same term applies to guys who give head or spread their legs for any swinging dick. In all my dreams for you I don't see that. I think you have more substance, more character than that. How do you see yourself?"
"I'm beginning to see where you are going with this. I don't intend to be a slut. I think you are telling me I should wait, be patient, that eventually I'll find someone I can love. Right?"
"Damn, you're smart!" They both laughed at that.
"But what do I do in the mean time? I have needs. I need it now. I almost came while watching that video. Now I need to release. Also, what if I do it and decide I don't like it? Help me, Uncle Dave."