Voyage of Self Discovery
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This story contains descriptions of consensual sexual contact between Males. As such it is homoerotic, designed for the entertainment of mature adults. If you are not of legal age to read such material or if the subject matter would create any kind of personal moral dilemmas, please exit now. Contribute to NIFTY. You know it's the right thing to do. ===================================================================
Although the title suggests it there is no boat involved in this voyage. It is instead simply a tale of a young man's struggle to understand who and what he is. It's never easy to come to terms with the desires and foibles that define you as a person. Chris's awakening is a common yet strangely uncommon tale. We are all composed of the sum total of our experiences; journey with Chris as he explores just who and what he is and what makes him happy.
Cast: Chris (Chrissie)-(Young man not yet comfortable in his own skin)--Eric (Chris's mentor)(Sir)
A special thanks to Bob for his editing skills.
A Journey of self --Discovery:
I met Eric at a college watering hole called appropriately, "After Hours." He's an in-shape guy of about 45 years old while I am barely old enough to drink. We were both a little pie eyed by midnight and I knew I couldn't drive to my dorm. Eric lived a block away from the bar and graciously invited me to his pad for the night. I don't know how but we somehow managed to stumble and fumble to his apartment. In any event I don't remember how we got there or how I got to sleep.
Saturday morning started at about noon the next day as the sun streamed through the windows. I took a pee and sat down on the couch rubbing my eyes and gradually coming alive again.
Eric came into the room slowly drying himself with a towel. With my hung-over addled head in my hands I found myself at eye level with the biggest, thickest cock I had ever seen. I just couldn't help staring at his crotch. His cock was about 6 inches long in its flaccid state with a large Purple head; even soft and hanging loose it was impressive.
I was torn from my thoughts as Eric asked me, "Like what you see?" I didn't realize that I had been staring for quite a few minutes.
He moved closer to me and said, "Are you interested in my fun-gun?" I found it hard to speak and just shook my head but continued to stare.
I hadn't really responded as I was in a state of shock over the way this was progressing. He stepped even closer and said "The way you were looking at my cock may be just because it's the first big cock you've been up close to. I see cocks in the locker room all the time but I don't go into a trance when I see a nice one, you actually did."
I sat frozen in the couch not knowing how I should respond when he grabbed my arm and lifted my hand onto his cock, saying. "Just put your fingers around it; you know you want to. Don't worry Chris; it's just the two of us here."
That big piece of meat was just hanging down so close I couldn't resist. I put my fingers under it and kind of lifted it a little. "How does that feel?" he asked in a kind of whisper.
My voice finally returned and I croaked out a faint, "It feels alright. Much like my own but yours is so much bigger." I felt it starting to throb and get stiffer in my grasp; I didn't know it then but it would be an 8-inch log when fully hard.
"Just jack it a little, were all alone here you know; it'll just be the two of us, I won't tell anyone else" he said.
We actually were alone; maybe it was alright; I did what he wanted and was surprised that I became very excited to be jacking another guy's cock.
Eric was talking very softly to me; "Myself I would never take another guy's cock in my hand' but it's OK with me, everyone is different with different desires. You probably have more of that girlie DNA than most guys. That only means you're probably happy to help other guys out when they're horny. Hell, your name is even gender neutral and can be either male or female, Chris or Chrissie, which will it be?" he laughingly said.
Eric continued talking as I slowly stroked him, "See that fluid on the end of my cock, that's only a little precum just lean forward and lick it off. Use the end of your tongue, nice and easy; it's what I want and I'm pretty sure it's what you need."
I was very conflicted by a mixture of desire and humiliation. In any event I leaned in slowly with only a little reluctance and touched his cock slit with the tip my tongue. I thought to myself, there I finally did it.
Eric was saying, "Taste my juice. It won't make you sick; a lot of guys like you really like it? I'm really a cunt hound myself but hey, a mouth is a mouth."
The taste of Eric's cock-juice wasn't bad. It was salty and close to the texture of a thick, creamy clam chowder; the taste was a little tangy sour but not unpleasant. I had tasted my own in the past; I guess I didn't realize the ramifications of tasting another guys pre-cum because at the time I thought nothing of it. I soon found out there was a hell of a lot more to it!
While I was ruminating on what I had done Eric wrapped the towel around his waist; his cock was now covered, gone.
Eric was backing away from me as he talked. "It's decision time now. You know Chris it's really up to you; you'll have to decide what it is that makes you happy and then just go for it. I'm kind of a cunt hound myself but everyone's different. I'd be willing to bet that you're not very good with the ladies and that's Ok; as I said everyone's wants that one, best thing that rings his bell. In your case I'm guessing that servicing a cock is more your thing than pussy."
I was shocked, he thought I was gay, how could he have gotten that idea? I liked girls, I just hadn't had as much opportunity has the other guys had; no, I wasn't gay, that was for sure.
I knew Eric was wrong even as he kept talking in that very soft, gentle, understanding voice. "I know some guys treat gays like crap, calling them faggot or queers. I don't agree with that, in fact I'm all for anything and anybody that makes my cock feel good. There really isn't any difference between a male or female mouth except that a girly-guy understands just what a man wants and tries very hard to make him happy. I must admit I actually, enjoy a guy's mouth hanging on the end of my prick more than any broad giving me a grudging blow job."
He was smiling as he continued, "It's your decision Chris but I think you need to think it through and then do what makes you happy. You should leave now and work on what it is you want, what'll make you happy. I've got to get ready for work now but when you finally decide let me know; perhaps I can help you out. It's a big decision, make sure it's what you want to do; remember I'm here for you, I can help you through this transition."
With that said he told me to lock up when I left and went to work. To say I was conflicted would truly understate my confusion. I would think that yeah, I wanted that cock of his only to have that thought trumped by my fear of being thought of as a queer. I had heard the locker room talk of fags and pussy-boys and certainly didn't want that for myself.
The "on the other hand" part of the conversation in my head was simply that I couldn't get Eric and his equipment out of my thoughts. I was conflicted but in the end succumbed to simple lust.
I called Eric on the phone and as was usual when I talked to him, stammered out that I would like to see him again.
Eric responded, "Well Chris I think you know that if we get together again it won't be just as two guys meeting to talk sports or girls. I'll want you to own up to what you are and how you plan to please me. Do you understand, do you agree?"
I took a second but then blurted out that I understood and agreed. His snicker almost came through the phone but I felt finally free, I had faced up to my desires and the hell with any of the consequences; it was done; I had admitted to myself what I wanted.
As agreed I knocked on his door, right on time. Eric answered the door clad only in his jockey shorts; I could hear the TV in the background; it was playing yet another porn flick. Eric was the perfect host as he put together a bourbon Manhattan in a nicely frosted glass; it was all very elegant, very normal. As I sipped the drink and made small talk about weather and sports, I relaxed and almost forgot just why I had decided to come to his house. By the second Manhattan we were laughing and commenting on the lousy acting in the porn flick.
Eric called my attention to a scene he had fast-forwarded to; a man about forty had a young guy on his knees in front of him and was slowly feeding his mouth more and more dick. "Watch how eagerly he goes after the guy's cock; his lips are actually trembling with anticipation. Look at how wide his eyes get as he looks at that big advancing cock, he's dedicated. This boy is an artist at cocksucking, don't you think."
The question jerked me out of my reverie and demanded an answer. I shook my head yes and Eric told me to speak out. "Yeah, Eric he's an artist" I said.
He smiled coolly and asked me, "Chris, do you want to be my buddy, want to please me?"
"Yes' I do Eric. I want you to be happy; I'll do what you want." I finally answered surprising even myself.
"Well that's good, as we've said it's just us here so nobody will ever know and if it turns out that you don't like it, well, that'll be our secret. I'm sure were not the only guys keeping a really big secret, this happens all the time."
Eric stood up and moved closer fishing his cock out of his jockeys as he put it to my lips, gently rubbing the head across them. I must confess it felt very sexy, warm and rubbery; I know that's not the right word for what I felt then but it was exciting and terrible all at once. I liked it but deep down I was afraid of what was happening, of what I wanted, what I was becoming.
Eric said, "Just kiss it at first, till you get comfortable with my cock at your mouth." I pursed my lips and kissed the head of his cock and stuck out my tongue to lick it a little. "That's right, open your mouth and swab your tongue across the head. Just lick the piss slit for me. Then I'll slide my cock into your mouth just a little bit, see how you like it, and let you get a little taste of it. Make sure you're careful with your teeth; I don't want you to scrape my dick."
He then just pushed the head of his cock into my mouth and held it there so I could get used to it, as he said. "You've crossed a line here by letting a guy stuff his cockhead into your mouth; you'll never be the same. From now on you're a cocksucker, my cocksucker."
Eric continued in that soothing, soft voice. "Great, now here is what I need you to do, just suck on the head and use your tongue on the piss slit, it's very sensitive there. Use your hand and hold my balls softly as you pet them, yes, just like that. Your tongue feels great but I want to feel you lick my slit and try to get your tongue in there."
I could start to taste his salty, thick, cummy-pissy man-fluid as it hit my tongue; his precum was warm and felt wonderful in my mouth. I actually loved the taste and loved that I was exciting him this much. The feel of his cock sliding through my lips and over my tongue was wonderful.
He stopped and took his cock out of my mouth; I hoped that I had not done something wrong because I wanted, actually needed to continue. I looked up at his face and noticed that he was smiling down at me with a wide condescending smirk.
"You're doing great but I want to try another position, kneel in front of me here, he said."
As I knelt down Eric stepped out of his jockey shorts, he was naked now and it took my breath away. This man, Eric, had a nice body, very strong and well kept, for his age; my lust quickly overcame my common sense.
"Close your lips around my cock and let me move it in and out a little, remember to cover your teeth, it's a little different when you're on your knees; I think a cocksucker should always be kneeling, all docile and ready to please his man." he said.
I did as he ordered and he began to fuck my mouth with slow and deliberate strokes. His cock seemed to grow ever larger in my mouth. "Keep your tongue against the bottom of my cock; that feels good. You know that its tongue action that makes a mouth different than a cunt. Yeah, that's what you are now, a nice, deep cunt with a tongue."
Eric was breathing hard and reached out to put his hand on the back of my head as he said, "The natural reaction for a guy sucking cock the first time is to try and pull away when the cum stream starts. I require that any pussy-boy of mine let me cum in his mouth. So, this first time I'll just hold your head so you can't pull off. When you sense my cum starting to spurt, catch it all in your mouth and don't swallow yet, gargle the cum in your mouth. It's all part of the cocksucker ritual that I enjoy watching. I require it of you and you'll do it."
His cock swelled ever more and I felt a spasm just before the cum started shooting into my mouth. It was all I could do to keep it all in my mouth. He must have shot at least five big spurts of cum. Eric was now trembling and I could tell he was having a strong orgasm. He seemed a little weak at the knees and held onto my shoulders to support himself. I was actually proud that I had made him cum in my mouth.
Eric pulled his cock from my mouth and wiped the end of it on my lips. He backed away a little and asked "Do you have an urge to spit it out?" I shook my head no. "That makes you great cocksucker material, no guy wants his cocksucker to spit out his cum; I'm very happy with you."
"Open your mouth so I can see the cum." He said. I opened my cummy mouth so he could see. "Move it around with your tongue so you get the full flavor of it." I did so and it wasn't bad. I kind of liked the taste and actually was very excited with the idea that I had let a guy use my mouth like this.
Eric was patting my head as he said, "I want you to swallow now. Let me see you coat your throat with my ball-juice." I swallowed with a gulp!
"That's very good. You're going to make a good blow boy for me." I was confused, how could I enjoy this, what had I become? He rubbed my head like I was his new puppy, a prized pet. Maybe that's what I was; it was confusing and exhilarating all at the same time.
Eric said "Don't rinse your mouth. I want you to have the full taste of my cum in your mouth as you drive home; you need to think about how much you enjoyed servicing me, what it felt like to be on your knees sucking me off. You've got my number, think it over and call me when you want to suck me off again. It's up to you now."
I went home and jacked my cock off like never before; I was hotter than hell. In the aftermath of the best climax I had ever experienced I thought of where I now was in life. I had in fact been seduced to suck a man's cock and swallow his cum load. There was no doubt in my mind that it was the most humiliating and exciting thing I had ever done; yes, I had enjoyed it yet I didn't want to be known as a faggot or cocksucker but I had to admit that by definition that's what I was. I could at least take comfort in the fact that Eric would keep our little secret. It was just between us; after all, he had promised me it was just between us.
It was only a day before I called him. He answered after a few rings and immediately put me in my place. "Who is this, how do I know you" he asked. I told him it was Chris and I wanted to see him again. He again asked "how do I know you?" I knew then that our next meeting would be different; I told him that I was Chris and I wanted to be his cocksucker.
He chuckled and told me I could come over. As I drove across town I admitted to myself that now that I had acknowledged that I was a cocksucker I strangely felt relieved and quite a bit freer; very strange indeed.
Eric answered the door clad only in jockey shorts once again; god he looked good.
"Hey there little Chris, I knew you'd be back for more. Once a guy like you gets a taste of cum they always come back. Tell me, what is it you want here? He asked."
"Oh, I just want to hang out a little" I said.
Eric put on that all-knowing smile of his as he replied, "I don't need someone to hang out with; tell me why you're here, be explicit and honest or you can leave right now."
This was my moment; I could get up now and just leave, go back to my old life. Instead I blurted out, "I want your cock, I want to suck it again."
Again with that sly smile he said, "that's better, we've now established that you're a cocksucker and in fact, my cocksucker. Are you in fact my cocksucker Chris?"
I quickly answered, "Yes Eric, I'm your cocksucker, I want your cock.
Eric had that all-knowing smirk on his face as he said, "has of today your Omega point of life will be cock; as we go forward thoughts of cock and submission will always be on your mind because you're now a cocksucker"
I thought of what he had said as he continued, "It's good to get that settled right up front; there's really no need for playacting. I need someone to service my cock on a regular basis and I think you're eager enough to be trainable. You need to understand though that there won't be any half measures when you're here, no little-girl suck offs like you've given so far. Now that you finally realize you're a cocksucker it's my job to direct your efforts so that you're the best pussy-mouth you can be. You want to pleasure me, don't you Chris" he said with a smile on his face?
I could only reply that yes, I wanted to pleasure him, wanted to service his cock.
"That's good Chris, take your clothes off now while we talk. From now on I want you naked whenever were together. When your alone you should be training to swallow all my cock, right to the root. A banana is a great substitute for a cock; you should just peal one and try to feed it into your throat; it'll help if you're watching a training video while you try to swallow it."
As I stripped down Eric explained, "Your first suck was just a sample of what's in store for you as you become my blow-boy. You'll have to be available to suck my cock whenever and wherever I want you. You're in the service industry now and cock is going to be your specialty. That means being a submissive, docile and eager cocksucker; your only thought has to be my pleasure. We'll start with blow jobs and work up to other duties, as I see fit."
I nervously snickered at his little "service industry" joke while I wondered what other duties there might be. I figured Eric would tell me in due time.
He said, "I want you on your knees; a cocksucker should spend most of his time kneeling before his guy. It's an act of submission that helps frame his position in the universe and who owns him. I can always get a broad to suck me off but there's usually a lot of drama. You have to romance a cunt with dinner and lovey-dovey talk; after all that they still suck you off like their doing you a favor. A fuck buddy guy like you just wants cock and humiliation. There's no drama, just the pleasure of having a twink devoted to servicing your crotch the way you want."
A twink, he thought I was a twink, how could that be?
He continued, "I often want to cum two or three times a day and in between its pleasant to have a warm tongue licking my crotch; are you up for taking care of all my sex needs?"
"I'll try to take care of your sex needs Eric but you'll have to show me what you enjoy and how to do it; I'm very new at this." I answered as he motioned me forward to his crotch.
I crawled between his legs and looked up at the thick outline of cock in his briefs. It looked half hard already. Eric reached down and tilted my head back placing his thumb on my teeth and pulled my jaw open. Without thinking about it I stuck my tongue out and licked his thumb.
"Good boy, suck on it like it's the tastiest prick in the world" he said. "A mouth-cunt should be totally compliant, always yielding his mouth and body to whatever his man demands."
He then held his hand in front of my face. "Suck on my fingers," he ordered. I took each of his fingers in my mouth, sucking and licking them like a mongrel dog. Eric wore a college ring and it clicked against my teeth as I wrapped my tongue around it, savoring its slightly metallic taste. Then he suddenly pushed all of his fingers into my mouth, stretching my jaws and touching the roof of my mouth, making me gag. Rather than easing his fingers out, he held his hand there.
"Easy," he coaxed. "Just relax that throat. Use your tongue to lick my fingers; that'll help distract you."
I did as instructed and concentrated on licking each finger, finding that it did indeed distract me and soon the urge to gag was reduced.
"Good boy, good cocksucker, we'll be getting to throat training soon enough," he said as he finally removed his hand from my mouth. He then held up a banana as he spoke, "I'm going to slide this into your mouth so you can see just how much practice you need, open up wide now."
Eric slid that thick banana into my open mouth and just as he predicted I gagged when it hit the back of my throat. "See, you're going to have to practice; I'm sure you know that most skills require training and practice, this is no different. A banana is perfect because you can select the size as you work up to big, thick ones. It's so much nicer to train with something that has the natural feel of a real cock. I require any suck boy of mine to be able to take my cock all the way down; it's what I want and you'll have to learn to do it" he said.
Eric dropped his jockeys, stepped out of them and sat down. His half-hard cock flopped against his belly reaching almost to his navel. This was the first time I had a chance to really size it up and it looked simply huge. It was certainly a lot longer than my puny five-incher, much wider around too.
Eric then explained how he wanted me to proceed. "Start on my balls and give them a good tongue bath. Then work your way up my cock licking and kissing it until you get to the top. Then I'll want you to open wide and swallow my cock, be sure not to scrape it with your teeth and use plenty of tongue, I really like that."
I bent down and did as he said, from the sounds he was making I think I was pleasing him. I finally got his cock in my mouth and started down on it. Remembering my first time, I used my tongue on the bottom and slowly moved my mouth up and down taking a couple of more inches in my mouth each time. Eric grabbed the back of my head and started directing my strokes. He began to push my head farther down forcing more of his cock into my mouth. His cockhead reached the entrance to my throat and I started to gag.
Eric pulled my head up a little saying, "If you're going to be my own personal cocksucker you're going to have to learn to deep throat a cock, remember I told you there would be no half measures, you've got to do it, it's what I want. Just relax your throat and I'll help you swallow it, just trust me."
With that said he grabbed my head firmly and pushed down forcing his thick cock head into my throat. I started gagging again but he just held my head until my gag reflex spasms lessened and his cock was as deep in my throat as it would go with my nose buried in his pubic hair. My air was cut off momentarily and I thought I would pass out. Just then Eric relaxed his hold and allowed me to back his cock out of my throat.
He then started to thrust his hips, driving his cock in and out of my mouth like a piston. His cock was very hard now and the head swelled even larger. I sensed Eric was about to cum and waited for my reward. He held me with the head of his cock just inside my mouth as he spurted out five or six thick shots of cum. I held as much of his cum in my mouth as I could as he withdrew his cock. I made a point of showing Eric that I was swallowing his cum, just as he had taught me so recently. I was strangely happy that he seemed pleased with my performance.
"That was a good job cocksucker; you've got a way to go but you're learning. Now has you go home savor the taste of my cum-load in your mouth, get used to it; you'll be getting a very steady dose of it from now on. The next time you call be ready to move on up to the next level, be prepared to answer a few questions."
Of course, the time quickly came when I just couldn't stand it and had to call. Eric was very friendly and courteous this time. That was until he asked in a calm, soft voice if I was ready to go to the next level. I asked what he meant and he very quietly told me. "I'm only interested in a cocksucker that can provide me with the full service that only a committed cocksucker can provide; it's what I want and you'll do it. I often enjoy having a pussyboy lick my ass or drink my piss. Is that you or have I wasted my time with you?"
I couldn't believe it. It was bad enough that I was a cocksucker but now licking ass and taking piss, no way I thought as I said, "I'm sorry Sir but I just can't do that; I'll suck your cock and take your cum but piss is just so dirty."
After just a second, he said, "that's ok Chris, if you don't want to serve me then at least lets part as friends, have a good life Chris." and he hung up.
I was completely confused; how could he ask this of me, what the hell did I do now? I slept fitfully the next few days. I was angry that Eric could even think I was an ass licker but had to admit to myself that when I did close my eyes I saw that beautiful, purple cock head of his. I wanted desperately to suck him off again. It was all I thought of; I had to do it or spiral away into madness.
On Friday I couldn't stand it anymore and called him. He answered after a few rings and sounded very cheerful, like nothing had happened. I was happy and gradually relaxed as we discussed weather and sports for a couple of minutes before he got to the point. "Are you ready to do what I want now, if not we're done; I can't be wasting my time with you."
I answered, "Yes, I'll do what you asked, yes Sir."
Eric quickly replied, "Oh no, that's not enough, tell me just what it is I asked and what you'll do to please me."
It's a good thing we were on the phone and he couldn't see my deep flush as I said, "I'll lick your ass crack as you asked Sir."
There was a little chuckle in his voice when he said, "and what else will you do boy?"
I recognized that I was already in way too deep but replied anyway, "I'll drink your piss and lick your ass as you asked Sir."
"Meet me at my place Friday and be ready to pleasure me for the entire weekend" he said as he hung up.
I could hardly breathe; I couldn't believe what I had just committed to but had to admit that the thought of performing these perverted acts made me very horny.
I was very disconnected all day Friday with thoughts of Eric easily trumping any effort to accomplish useful work; I was beyond anxious as I knocked on his door.
This time he answered the door dressed only in one of those huge, white hotel robes. Eric sported a wide grin as he cordially fixed me a cocktail and we once again conversed in small talk as we sat in the big leather chairs. The liquor had me mellowing out, almost forgetting why I was here. My relaxation ended after a half hour of small talk conversation. Eric simply spread his legs and suddenly I was facing that beautiful big, stem of manhood again; it was mesmerizing to me; I just couldn't pull my gaze away.
Using that soft, quiet, assertive voice he said, "let's make sure we're on the same page here; tell me why you're here Chris?"
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I thought to myself, what a simple question, so full of ramifications and commitment. I knew I had to own up to what I wanted, what I was, it was way too late to back out now. "I want to please you. Yes, I'll suck your cock and lick your ass, anything that you want me to do Sir."
Eric smirked as he said, "of course you're a cocksucker but I want a full service pussyboy, what they used to call a body slave ready to drink my piss or lick my asshole clean, to do whatever I want; is that you, is that what you want?"
The shear shock value of what he so simply stated made me gulp out an answer. "Yes, Eric, I want to suck you off and lick your ass. If you want me to drink piss I will. I'll be your body slave, it's what I want. I'm a cocksucker and want to pleasure you anyway you want."
"Well good, it's important that you understand that your place in the world is between a man's legs, tending to cock. A lot of guys are only happy submitting to a superior male but cannot fully accept the humiliating acceptance that they are just another cockslut. Without that acceptance they can only serve half-heartedly. Now that you've accepted that my pleasure is your only concern you'll find yourself free because it's what you are, what you were put on this earth to be and you no longer have to pretend."
As I mulled over what I had agreed to, Eric told me to strip and lick his balls. I fell to my knees and just breathed in the smell of his crotch. He had that sweet, sour, musky aroma of sweat that I found so erotic. I licked and sucked on his balls lovingly, knowing that his manly cum came from there. I used my tongue like you would a wash cloth until he pushed me down underneath his balls to his ass. I tongued up and down that thin little line between his balls and his ass. I think it's called the perineum, there's a little seam like line there that leads directly to his ass crack. I licked up and down that crack working my face between his globes until I hit that secret spot in his crack and he softly moaned as my wet tongue swabbed over his asshole. It made me feel great knowing that I satisfied him, a very strange feeling of contentment well mixed with the humiliation of licking a man's asshole.
He stood up then and turned around bending over with spread legs. His ass was now in my face. I didn't waste any time before spreading his cheeks and looking at his wrinkled hole. I plunged my tongue in and began to lick his ass. The flat of my tongue licked up and down his ass crack as my nose savored his dank, male odor. I finally put my tongue into his hole and started to flick it around in him. It was like I was kissing a girl's mouth but this surprisingly tasted so much better to me. The male animal smell was pleasant and I was happy that I was pleasing my man, my buddy, my mentor, my owner. Just then Eric abruptly stood up and turned, facing me and removing his ass from my face.
Eric had a very serious look this time as he spoke, "Do you know just WHY you must lick my ass boy, and don't forget to say Sir."
"No, Sir" I eagerly replied.
Eric replied, "You must do it because it's what I want you to do. This is the most important thing about being a pussyboy; nothing you do is done because you want to do it, when you do what you're told, you must always know it's because I want it and you only want to please me, essentially I'll be doing all the thinking for you. I want you to get between my legs again now and lick my ass like it's what you want more than anything else in the world."
I nodded an assent but he frowned and I knew he wanted me to speak the words, words that committed me, humiliated me, excited me.
"You understand, me boy" he asked with a sly smile on his face.
"Yes."
"Yes who?" he asked.
"Yes Sir."
That time, when I said "Yes, Sir", I felt something. I was on my knees looking up at my man, a man I now thought of as my owner. I looked him right in the eye as he said, "Do it now boy, lick my asshole."
I moved up to his ass and began swiping my tongue up and down between his ass-globes; I was just licking his crack like a slave boy would, concentrating on my man's shithole.
Finally his little puckered ass hole was as clean as it would be after a shower. Eric turned, smiled and patted me on the head again tussling my hair with one hand has he presented his cock to me with the other.
With one of those knowing smirks that that captured my attention he grabbed his cock and pushed that big head down against my lips; I opened my mouth and let it in. It felt so natural there that I just began to swipe my tongue around the head and applied some suction to pull it deeper into my mouth. He grabbed hold of my head and twisted me onto the floor under him as he leaned forward so his cock was lined up for a straight shot down my throat as he told me. "Time to open up suck boy, get ready for a face fucking. Relax your throat muscles cause this time I'm coming in deep."
With that said he began to do pushups over my face. It was all I could do to control my gag reflex and not heave. Slowly I found it less distressing, I was getting used to it; I was getting much better at it. He would push down till the head of his cock was deep in my throat and then just hold it there for a minute letting me get acclimated to this invader.
"I love the feel of your throat muscles on the head of my cock when you're struggling to breathe, don't worry, I know your limits better than you do" he said as he pulled back a little and then began a slow, steady face fucking. My nose was sore from the collision with his pubic bone. He didn't seem to care at all about my discomfort; he just wanted to get his rocks off.
The fuck went on about ten minutes before he tensed up and began shooting his load deep into my throat. "You better swallow suck boy, I don't want to drown you with my cum." He warned me.
Swallow I did. It was Unfortunate that I didn't get to taste much of his cum, as it slid straight down my throat.
He stayed in position over me as his cock started softening in my mouth. I was now pretty uncomfortable and really wanted him to get off me. I started pushing up on his thighs to get him to move but he said, "Just stay there a minute and nurse on my dick head."
Of course I did as he asked and then he said, "I have a surprise for you. Just tighten your lips on my cockhead and open your throat, get ready to swallow." I didn't think he could cum again so soon but I waited anxiously for another taste of cum. His cock twitched a little and a squirt of fluid hit the back of my mouth. It tasted salty, warm, pungent and I realized that Eric was pissing in my mouth. I started pushing harder to get out from under him.
"Hell, I just gave you a little squirt to see how you'd take it. It wasn't so bad was it." I couldn't speak but I shook my head violently and again tried to push him off. He pulled his dick from my mouth stood up and told me to open my mouth and stick out my tongue.
To say I was conflicted would be understating my confusion. I had agreed to this but didn't really want to do it. I knelt there thinking that what I was doing was really perverted yet I was also very excited as he squirted another small stream of piss into my mouth. Eric sighed and began a steady slow stream of piss into my open mouth.
He said, "You might just be the natural submissive I want if you let a guy piss in your mouth." With that he let go a larger piss stream into my mouth; I struggled to swallow but piss leaked out of the corners of my mouth. Eric laughed as he said. "We'll have to practice that later, you shouldn't spill, don't worry, you'll get better at it. I'll give you plenty of practice. A cocksucker must be ready to swallow whatever comes out of a cock. From now on whenever I want to piss you're to fall to your knees, open your mouth, stick out your tongue and wait for me to lay my cock on it. If I've got clothes on I'll let you open my fly, get my cock out and aim it into your mouth as I piss. Whenever you're performing toilet duty I want you to be making eye contact. A cocksucker's eyes give a man a window into a submissives soul; a way to see how committed his cocksucker is. It's very gratifying to watch your suck-boy slide into complete and total submission as he becomes aware of just who and what he is. The actual reality of it all isn't easy to come to terms with."
I kind of sleepwalked through the week essentially going through the motions while "all things Eric" occupied my thoughts. My concentration wasn't helped by Eric's telling me to refrain from cumming; it was really frustrating but also very hot. I used the banana approach to throat training that Eric had suggested; I found it helped and I thought I was ready for the real thing. By the time I rang his doorbell I was almost unable to function I was so deep into my thoughts of servicing his cock.
Eric answered the door this time in just a jock strap that he filled out completely. There wasn't much small talk this time as I stripped naked and knelt down in front of him. He was pleased as he said, "that's great son, I like a boy that falls to his place on the floor without being told. Why don't you suck on it while I tell you what's on today's agenda for you. Today is the day that you receive all of my cock; I plan to stuff it right down your gullet. You'll be scared and uncomfortable but we both know you have to learn how to do it because it's what I want and you only want to please me."
I was happily suckling on Eric's big cock while he talked. I realized that when I took his cock as deep as I could I still had three inches to go, yikes. Eric noticed my efforts to throat his cock on my own and chuckled as he said, "don't worry son, I'll help you through this, when I'm done you'll be able to swallow a horse-cock without choking. Get over to the bedroom and I'll show you."
I was now so hot that I actually scampered into the bedroom where he had me law on my back with my head hanging over the edge.
"Ah, it's so nice to see a suck boy so eager to have his throat plugged by his man's cock. Open your mouth now as wide as you can; I'm going to spray a mild numbing medicine in, don't worry it's mild and mostly used for sore throats and sore gums. It'll help you acclimate to my cock as I fuck your mouth." Eric said.
The spray did in fact numb me and I felt really vulnerable here; I was finally going to do it.
Eric was rubbing his cockhead across my lips now as he said, "you need to force yourself to relax now, I know it's your first time so I'll go nice and slow until your mouth cunt gets used to it. Has I fuck your face you'll need to get your breathing under control; take breaths when I'm stroking out and using your nose for air. Under no circumstances are you to raise your hands off the bed; you must remain perfectly docile while I'm fucking you. A lot of tops tie their boy's hands but I think you'll do just fine without that. Don't worry, I won't kill you, I know your limits better than you do. Let's gets started now Chris, shall we."
It was upside down but I could see that cock coming at me; from this vantage point it looked huge, I was scared as he poked it into my mouth. I was able to suck slowly on the 3 or 4 inches he was stroking in and out of my mouth; I thought, this isn't so bad. Eric began slowly advancing farther into my mouth has I heard him say, "you'll be getting it all soon son, with your head down like that there's a nice, clear path into your throat-cunt."
Every thrust now advanced that big cock another half inch and I was starting to get the hang of the breathing. I gulped air when I could and then, all of a sudden he plunged into my throat before immediately pulling out until only his cockhead remained on my lips. He startled me saying, "the look in your eyes when I pushed my cock home was just priceless, you knew it was coming yet were startled. The first time is the hardest, let's do this."
Eric again advanced his cock until he plunged it into my throat again, pulled out and went back in. I managed to start to relax a bit as he developed a little in-out rhythm. I was surprised that I could get enough air; this wasn't so bad. I became aware that each thrust was becoming longer, he stayed in my throat longer each time now until it kinda felt natural to have my throat plugged. He reached down to my throat and told me he could feel his cock by rubbing my throat. Strangely I felt very proud, I could do this, I could swallow that big cock. I became aware of his balls laying on my eyes on the in thrusts; it all felt good.
Eric had quickened his fucking now and I knew he was close to cumming, his cock had swelled even thicker and I knew from sucking him in the past that that was my signal that he was finishing. Ever the considerate one he pulled out of my mouth-cunt and sprayed cum all over my face; I opened my mouth of course but my face was covered. It was so hot that when he put his still dripping cockhead at my lips to suckle it clean, I came. I actually had a huge climax and he began laughing as he told me, "that's great cocksucker, only a natural can cum with a man's sticky cockhead in his mouth, I'm proud of you boy, you'll make a great faggot."
I was a very contented cocksucker as I licked and sucked the sticky cum mess from his crotch. He was proud of me, what more could I ask.
I was on my knees again, mouth open, waiting for Eric to piss in my Mouth; it was a very odd feeling anticipating being degraded. He started a short stream as I gently suckled his cockhead. We soon settled into a little partnership ritual where just as the piss-flow began I would look at him with my abject submission and humiliation evident in my eyes.
When he was done, as he sat comfortably in his chair, we talked as I licked at his balls. "You've become quite a competent cocksucker; I'll be showing you off soon at my club but first you have to be fucked, take my cock right up your ass like a good boy. Are you ready son" he asked?
"I'm sorry Sir but I thought this was all just between us" I stammered out.
Eric reached down and lifted my face up, then slapping me like he would a bitch. It wasn't especially hard but it shocked me, Eric hadn't ever hit me. I was after all a very voluntary cocksucker. After the smack he smiled and said, "you'll do as I say and perform for my buddies when I say so; it's what I want. My question was are you ready for your ass-fucking son?"
I was sucking his cock in preparation as he talked, "Now Son, I'm not trying to be mean but I'm gonna have to take your ass pretty hard to bust through that tight cherry of your." He spoke softly to me.
"It's gonna' hurt like hell for a few minutes but just clench your teeth together and push back against me. I promise you the pain will soon go away and you'll give and get the best fucking you've ever imagined, are you ready Son?"
I was scared and anxious at what he said he was going to do to me, however I had fantasized about being fucked by Eric and this was finally my chance to complete my submission to him.
"Yes Sir." I breathlessly replied.
What could I say except that "yes Sir, I'm ready." The truth was that I was terrified of receiving that big cock in my ass.
In spite of my inner conflict I took the tube of lube from him and smeared my little hole.
"Put a couple fingers in and stretch it a little. It'll make it as easy as possible." He said. As I worked some lube into my little hole he took the bottle and I could hear him lubing his cock. "Showtime" he chuckled, as he climbed on my back behind me. He used his knees to spread my legs to give him better access to my ass. He put his left hand on my hip and used his right to guide his cock between my ass cheeks.
He rubbed the head of his cock up and down in my ass crack zeroing in on my hole. "Being this is the first time for something this big up your ass, I'm sure it's going to hurt. But I've also heard that once it's in, you'll start to feel real good; as for me the only thing that'll ever go in my ass is a tongue but guys like you learn to like it." he chuckled.
He found my wrinkled hole and started to push. I could feel the head of his cock parting my hole, trying for entrance to my ass. It started to burn and I asked him to slow down while I got used to it. "Push out like I told you and I'll pop the head in. After that it'll be easier." he said. He used both hands to grip my hips and with a grunt forced the head of his cock past my outer ring.
Nothing had ever hurt me that much and I tried to buck him off. He knew the reaction I'd have, locked his arms around me and held me tight. He was much bigger and well built and there was no way this side of hell I was going to get away from this searing cock pain in my ass.
Eric wasn't moving; he just let his cock soak in there with the head lodged just inside my ass opening. In my agony I heard him say, "there, there, son, you'll be OK, just let it rest. Your ass-cunt is the final frontier to you becoming my cocksucker. It won't be long before you beg for a cock to fill your ass."
I didn't think so: I just started crying it hurt so much. I finally stopped squirming and he was whispering more there, there's into my Ear in that very soft understanding voice. It was then that I remembered his instructions and pushed my ass back and up further onto his huge cock. Damned if it didn't help a little has it went in a little deeper.
"That's a good boy," he cooed. "You listened to your man. Your man's cock is all you need to think about now. Soon most of the pain will go away and you'll feel fullness; a very contented full feelings that boys like you seek."
With that he took a couple of small strokes, just a couple of inches deep. I couldn't help letting out a little gasp as I began to open up. Then almost as quickly as the pain had come, it lessened and I began to feel full and warm with the most comfortable feeling of belonging I'd ever experienced. I felt like I'd passed some initiation or rite of passage into submission.
"Does it hurt that much now, Son?" he asked. "The first time always hurts the most. You'll get used to it, soon you'll even be looking forward to it. It serves a purpose. It gets a boy's attention and serves notice that he is owned and his man expects a good fuck."
"No, Sir, it feels a little better now; it's just so tight and full. I just cried because I'm stupid. Your cock is filling me up and feels damn good inside me; I know I was born to be fucked like a girl and it's what you want" I replied.
"It's customary to thank the man that has just popped your cherry and plugged your asshole for the first time."
"Thank you Sir, for giving me my first fuck. I know this is just as you described it, the attitude adjustment I so righteously needed" I said.
It just seemed so right, so natural to thank him and show respect. Having said it and meant it, I accepted my position as his boy, now his bumboy.
"You're welcome son. Now let's do a couple of simple exercises. Let me feel you clench down real hard with your ass muscles. There, that's good. Once again. Yeah, uh-huh, that's good. I can feel that. Yeah! Uh-huh, yeah. Again. Oh, yeah! Now, let me feel you use your ass to suck on it. Take a couple of small strokes with your butt; stroke my cock with your ass. Oh, yeah, that's good. Couple more. Uh, huh. Not bad, boy. That's right. Yes, just a little more on the...Yes! That's it, you've got it. Now raise that little butt and push back on my dick. I think you can take it all. I want you to chow down with that tight little ass and eat the last three inches of cock all by yourself."
I raised my butt and pushed back, made my ass suck it for a while, then took more, it still hurt but it was kind of a good hurt now. He gently urged me back, talking to me like a swim coach. I found myself feeling that the most important thing in the world was to please this big cocked man stuffing my ass. Soon I felt his crotch hit my ass cheeks. I kept on moving until I was pressing into his belly to get as much in me as he would let me have.
With his arms still tight around my waist he pulled me to a standing position to get the last little bit inside me. I welcomed it now. We stood with him deep within me for several minutes running his big hands the length of my body playing with my cock and balls, pulling, twisting them to just the point of pain.
"I've only found a couple of blow boys in my life that could take all of me boy; I know it's not easy the first time. You're owned now, you belong to me. I know this ownership talk kinda frightens you," he said as he took a couple more long slow strokes into my ass, "that's understandable, but I'll make you a bet that after we're done today you'll fall asleep every night thinking about getting a cock stuffed into your ass. Now, that's enough chatter, let's get you fucked Chrissie" he said.
I'd never been fucked like that since; you never forget your first. I did my best to work with him and met each thrust so it might give him the most pleasure for his cock. He fucked me slow, deep, long and hard. Damn, he was right, popping my cherry was making me give him the best fuck I'd ever experienced. I was now so open he was slamming his entire length of cock into me with no problem. I was pushing my ass back as hard as I could trying to get more of him inside me.
He fucked me steady for a good thirty minutes. Every now and then he would comment on how much he loved to fuck my tight little suck-boy butt. He rested for a while still inside me and then continued to fuck me like a wild man. Soon after that he seemed to tire.
Eric said suddenly, "Okay Son, it's your turn now, let's see what you've got!" he pulled out quickly and my ass made a small popping sound has it shut.
"Sounds like that cherry grew back, Son!" He laughed, "You know what you Have to do. I want you to finish up by fucking yourself on my cock, you'll figure it out."
"Yes Sir." I quickly replied.
I positioned my ass onto that big mushroom head of cock and with only a little hesitation sunk it all the way in to the base. More pain, but this time I knew it would soon pass and would help me give him the good ride he deserved.
"Was that Okay, Sir?"
"I'm proud of you boy" he replied.
Those were magic words for me, it was all I needed to flip the on switch to my cock riding, ass fucking machine. I don't know where my ass learned to ride a dick like that but I became a cock riding demon. I was a pretty athletic little guy and got a good rhythm going on his big cock. I could watch his face and tell when I was doing a stroke that really pleased him. I hunkered down and began to pound my ass down hard and fast on his big shaft. I was giving his prick a good ride and sensed his cock beginning to feel thicker, larger in my ass. I knew he was getting near an end, a climax. I was now taking longer, faster strokes and I rode him into the air as his back arched to give me all of it he could. I knew he was close and I didn't waste an inch of his cock as he shot a big man load up into my hole.
Eric just collapsed in heavy breathing and had a big smile on his face. He was spent. I'd managed to drain his big balls into my ass in that one violent last moment. I clamped down hard with my ass and begin to milk him to get the last few drops.
"Now son" He said, "You don't get off my cock until you cum So you'd better take my horse for another ride."
I knew he wasn't kidding, and the idea of me being staying, forcibly retained, impaled on my man's cock was almost enough to make me come without touching myself, however, just out of habit, I reached down to take my cock in my hand.
"Take your hand away boy. You're going to get another benefit from having your cherry popped. Now, you open up that ass for my cock. I'm going to Ram my cum deeper into your ass. Get on your knees now and arch your back with your ass cunt stuck out for me, Understand?"
I sobbed out a yes and fell to the floor just has he had ordered. I no longer was ashamed to show my emotions to Eric; we had crossed over that line long ago; I had come to terms with being a cocksucker. I'm usually not an emotional guy but all this was happening way too fast for me to process. The things he taught me made a lot of sense to me. It was like he opened the book of my life and was reading my most secret page. I felt like I was looking through a glass door dimly and then someone opened it for me to see; I knew he understood me. Like a good Master should, I thought. He petted and stroked me has I was sobbing softly, stroked me like you would comfort a girl.
He was behind me again and slowly stuffed his prick into my asshole once again. I couldn't help letting out a little yelp when it poked through.
I apologized and he smiled knowingly. All the while he had began taking some long slow strokes into my butt hole. He knew it was soothing and comforting as I slowly began to push back to make the feeling the best for both of us. Damn, he sure knew what he was doing. I'd never imagined being fucked so patiently, so sweetly even. I sighed out loud at the sensation of acceptance that I was now his fucktoy. The loud sigh caught Eric's attention.
"Don't feel ashamed. Your man understands that you just had an epiphany which can shake you to your core. Sometimes we can see further through our tears than we can a telescope." He paused for a moment and then added, "You're going to make many men a fine cocksucker Son.
He fucked me very slowly then, driving his prick as deep as possible as he long dicked my ass. Every once in a while, he teased me by pulling his cock all the way out. My hole would spasm shut a bit just in time for his cock next plunge. Finally, he came once again deep in my ass.
Eric just relaxed onto my back. Eventually his cock plopped out of my dripping hole. He got into his big leather chair and told me what came next. "Get a warm, wet washcloth and come back here."
I quickly went to the bathroom, ran hot water over the washcloth and returned to my very familiar kneeling position between his legs; I could see flecks of blood, cum and ass-juice on his half-hard cock as he told me, "a lot of tops like their boy to lick the cock that just fucked them but that doesn't do it for me. I like my suck-boy to wash and wipe me clean like any good servant would. Of course, the boy knows that when he's done he has to suck that cock and no matter how well he washes it there will be just a little shit smell and taste left that can only be cleansed with his mouth and tongue. That's the way I like it, now clean my cock up, the cock that just fucked your asshole."
I very gently washed his cock but by now it wasn't fully hard and I knew that there would be "stuff" left in the little folds that only my mouth could clean. It was dirty, disgusting and made me very horny. I had just cum when getting fucked and as I washed him I realized that I was hard again. Eric sighed approval of my attention to his cock. I finally finished and he smirked down at me for a minute.
"Use your mouth now Son, you know what you have to do. You must never insult a man; you'll always have to use your mouth to clean him after he's finished using you. This is good training for you. Any man that uses you or one I refer you to will want to know you've been trained in submission and have learned your sex manners, this is an essential one."
"Now, get to it boy!" There was something about the way Eric ordered me to do things that made me do them without question; his voice was both assertive and soft. I obeyed like someone mesmerized to do a distasteful task while thinking he was doing another more appealing one. The funny thing was, the reality blended into one and everything became acceptable with no thoughts of reluctance. I knew I was going to do it. He seemed to know, too. His control over me was strong and powerful and, God help me, I wanted more, more of his control, more of him.
He simply said, "Do it Son." I lowered my head to that sticky cock and knew what I had to do. All at once he stood up abruptly and ordered me to kneel in front of him. I obeyed of course and didn't hesitate at all.
I'm proud to say I licked and sucked him for all I was worth; I cleaned him good. Surprisingly the musky, sticky left-over goo on his prick actually wasn't too bad. When I finished he was as clean as just out of the shower. I knew he was pleased and proud of me as well. His strong, commanding voice gently had urged me to follow his orders as you might teach a child to walk, one step at a time. All the way down the rabbit hole of submission; he really did own me.
"You're a natural, Boy." he said "Clean it good. That's it, go ahead clean your Master's dick son" he had told me. Now finished, I took his cock into my mouth lovingly as he told me he was happy with my cock-cleaning job. I sat back on my heels and thanked him for allowing me to clean his sticky cock.
"You need something to wash the taste out of your mouth." he told me. "Open your mouth and hold the head of my cock like you've been taught." he ordered. "Now, grab my ass cheeks with your hands. Okay, I'm gonna' wash your mouth out with a little piss now."
"I'm gonna' let it flow a little faster; it's time you learned to take it full force. If you have a problem gently squeeze my ass with your hand and I'll slow the flow, understand?"
I squeezed his ass that I understood and he started the flow again. I drank and drank, gulped a few times until I could feel my belly was expanding with his good, hot, tangy piss. Then I sucked for more. He didn't keep me waiting. He started his flow, full out, I gulped, gulped, and gulped.
"I can't believe this, you like piss." he laughed and rubbed my head, then started the flow again. Damn, it was hot. What had I been missing? Gulping Eric's piss after my first ass-fuck completed my day.
On the way out I had to tell him how I felt, "Sir, I want to thank you for taking my cherry tonight. I thought it was going to kill me but you were right; I ended up enjoying it. I'll want to do it again but only after my hole has a chance to heal up."
He tousled my hair and lightly slapped my face as he said "good cocksucker, that's my boy."
======================================================================= Excerpts from: "Voyage of Self-Discovery Aftermath", the final chapter.
In these few, short weeks I had come to terms with the who and what I was. Eric had taught me my destiny was to serve as a suck-boy; when a cock was presented to me I was to think only of how best to pleasure it. My favorite college class was now "cock service 101." I now knew just how different the "up close and personal" service as a cocksucker was from the anonymous sex at places like "gloryholes". Looking an alpha male in the eye has you served was very humiliating, hot and exciting; it had forced me into coming to terms with my need for submission. This was just the way it was and I accepted my new role; it is what it is.
This was the weekend that Eric picked to show me off to his friends. Instead of meeting him at his home I had the address of his club. He had instructed me to just show up and all would be explained. The club façade was nondescript without so much as even an outside sign. It seemed to be a reclaimed warehouse without windows and a well maintained brick facing.
I wondered if I had the right place as I opened the door. Inside of the small anteroom an older man asked me why I was here; I gave him my name and said that I was here to meet Eric Smith. He smiled and waved me into the adjoining locker room saying, "you're on the guest list, strip down and put your stuff in locker 33. Your uniform is in there, it's all you'll need. When you're done I'll let you into the club."
It seemed strange but a lot of what Eric had gotten me into was strange so I stripped. The "uniform" was simply a piece of rope and two pieces of pink cloth. A photo on the locker room wall showed a young guy with the pink cloth pieces arranged as a loincloth using the rope as a belt; it was obvious that this was to be my "uniform." I was nervous yet, excited enough to have a hardon as I arranged the loincloth as modestly as possible. There isn't any sense of modesty or nuance possible when you enter a room in a pink loincloth, everyone knows what you are and why you're there. I was now a cocksucker so I might as well flaunt it; I walked with a sure and deliberate purpose, proud of being a cocksucker here to serve my man. The doorman didn't even look up has he hit an electronic buzzer unlocking the door.
The inside was decorated like an old English men's club with oak panels on the walls and thick, heavy red curtains framing faux windows. There was a traditional walnut bar on one side and the rest of the room was filled with heavy leather furniture. Someone had taken great pains decorating it for even in the very dim light it looked warm and inviting.
I stood in the doorway as my eyes slowly acclimated to the soft, dim lighting. I could now see that there were quite a few people in this club. The bar stools were full and many of the floor chairs had men sitting in them. I heard Eric's voice calling "Chrissie" from the bar and headed to him. This was what he wanted and that was all I needed to know.
To be continued as AFTERMATH if I get some feedback:
I appreciate feedback and thank the many people who have contacted me with ideas and comments. A special thanks to Bob who did such a great job as editor.
Comment to dave at dodge1191@hotmail.com I don't get paid for writing but enjoy comments from readers.