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The appointment with the guy of National Geographic, Flint, went better than well. I discovered Filip's negotiation skills as he obtained what he wanted. Flint was agreeable guy and apparently the fees Filip presented were what he had expected. As from the start, Filip had insisted that I would do the translations, Flint said he would send me a document by email so I could translate it and send it back to him and get the approval of the team responsible for it. I was in for quite some work !
But the first thing they wanted was to have me comment the first documentary in its original version. I received the script. It was really detailed and even with comments about how they wanted it on the recordings. An appointment was made for the following Monday where I would spend the whole day in the studio where Fernando worked. For that first recording, Filip would be with me to show me how to do it properly. He understood perfectly what Flint wanted and knew how to pass me the information. If everything went as planned, Filip wouldn't be there for the following recordings.
During the week-end previous to that first session, Filip and I went over the text like a thousand times, following the instructions to the letter. I remembered when Filip had said it was NOT "just reading". The tone of the voice was so important. The speed at which I had to talk was very important as well. Some words had to be "swallowed" by the next and most of all, the time for each sentence was as precise as a chronometer of high Swiss quality. We had purchased one of those. I can tell you that a quality chronometer was bloody expensive, but certainly worth it if I was going to make this voice-over thing a permanent part of my professional life.
The voice exercises Filip imposed were hard. I had to make mine the way of talking and getting one tone lower than my natural voice. You should try it, because it is damned difficult to maintain that lower voice all the time. It was because of that lower voice tone that Flint had insisted with his bosses to hire me for that particular series of programs. Once translated, my voice would be heard all over the world. The mere idea made me proud of what I was doing.
That Monday morning I was as stressed as possible and seemed to have forgotten all Filip had taught me. We were early at the studio, before Flint arrived, to do some try-outs. Fernando was at the big technical desk with Filip standing next to him. I looked through the window of the sound-proof cubicle, but couldn't concentrate. That nagging feeling that maybe there was something going on between Filip and Fernando, plus the nerves for this first recording all got the best of me. I made one mistake after the other. The tone of my voice was not what it was supposed to be. The expectations of Filip and Flint were too high.
Filip had the right intuition that there was something going wrong and came over to me, asking what was going on. I told him my nerves were playing with me, but he didn't buy it. He got me out of the cubicle and led me by the hand to a storage room where we could be alone.
-Ok... what is really going on?
I broke down in tears. He took me in his arms and for a moment I felt better, but the nagging feeling was eating me from inside... like a cancer does. I had to tell him. I couldn't keep my mouth shut. There was far too much things that would influence my future. When the tears finally stopped, I looked him in the eyes and told him. He had the most incredulous look on his face. He couldn't understand where I had gotten that feeling. He kissed me all over my face and ended with a very passionate kiss on my lips. I could feel he wanted to show me, without the slightest doubt, that he loved me and no-one else. He used the right words and bit by bit my fears, my stress left me. He promised me and even swore to me that there was nothing going on between Fernando and him. He confirmed with a very strong conviction that I was the love of his life and that he didn't want anybody else. It was more, he told me that even if the threesome had been great, it would never occur again. Our relationship was his absolute number one priority and if I was feeling like that after a threesome, he didn't want to have any in the future.
-I did agree to have the threesome because I thought YOU wanted it, but I admit that seeing you fucked by another guy was not pleasing me. I have hidden that feeling because, as I said, I thought you wanted it, but being honest with you and myself, I'd rather not repeat the experience. I am yours and you are mine, point final. We don't need others for sexual satisfaction. Fernando is a good guy and pleasant to have around, but I can assure you that he won't share our bed anymore. My purpose in life is to see you happy, not miserable. Let me prove it to you...
With that he unbuckled my belt and opened my jeans. Before he reached my underwear, I was hard as steel. He dropped to his knees and engulfed my manhood, sucking me like only he knew how to do it. His middle finger disappeared between my asscheeks and was soon rubbing my prostate. His ministrations got me over the edge in no time at all. I deposited my load in his mouth and he then shared it with me like we always did. He got up and even pulled my jeans up, tucked my shirt back in before closing the buttons and securing my belt.
-You feel better my Love?
I had to admit I felt a lot better. I didn't know if it was from ejaculating or because he had confirmed his love for me. We left that storage room and went back to the actual studio. During our absence Flint had arrived.
-I was scared you chickened out and had left, Flint said.
Filip laughed heartedly.
-Don't count on that Flint, Al and I are here to prove to you that what we agreed in the contract is more than worth it.
Filip stayed at my side while I went back to the sound-proof cubicle, giving me last instructions and telling me that everything was going to be all right. Just before he closed the door of the cubicle, he gave me a wet sloppy kiss although everybody could see it.
-I am proud of you Al, he said, it takes a lot of courage to speak out loud what you feel inside. I love you for that.
He went back to the technical room and instead of standing next to Fernando, he kept his place next to Flint. He had clearly understood the message and was showing me who was important to him. I was more at peace. I even found a kind of serenity. I took my papers and made a sign to Fernando that I was ready. Fernando lifted his thumb high in the air, indicating me I could start whenever I wanted. I closed my eyes for an instant and then began to talk in the microphone that was in front of me. I concentrated on what I had to say, not looking through the window to the three men who were observing me. I concentrated as much as when I was doing a translation, shutting out all exterior influences whatever they were. I remembered all Filip's instructions and applied them to the job at hand.
I was half suspecting that Fernando would stop me from time to time through the headphones I had on my head, but he didn't. In less than an hour I had read the complete text, according to the assigned times that were written down next to each sentence. I kept an eye on the chronometer that was in front of me, but I had done that the whole weekend to the point I almost didn't need it anymore. When the last sentence was out of my mouth, there was a sudden silence. I was as in a kind of trance. I came out of my trance when Filip opened the door of the cubicle.
-You have been absolutely perfect my Love! I don't know how you did it, but even Fernando and Flint agree with me. Flint is on cloud nine and Fernando said that he wished that all recordings would be like that.
We were both beaming with pride. I knew I would never have been able to do this job without Filip's help. Filip trusted me so much that he knew I was the perfect man for the job. We formed a great team. We joined the other two and Flint had the brightest smile on his face.
-I am eager to let the edition team hear this recording. I didn't think you would do it in one go.
-That's right, said Fernando, I think it is the first time I can make a complete recording without having to stop it to correct anything. It was absolutely perfect.
My heartbeat went faster. I was not used at all to receive such compliments. In all the years I had made translations I had never received such compliments on my work. It was so rewarding and satisfactory. Fernando handed me some headphones and made me listen to my own voice. I almost didn't recognize it. I knew it was me as I knew the text almost by heart and remembered reading it, but it sounded surreal. In the corner of my eye I could see Fernando was readjusting the bulge in is jeans. My God! Was that really the effect my voice had on people?
We were on our way home when I mentioned to Filip what I had seen and that I wondered if that was the real effect of my voice.
-You were too concentrated to see anything, but we all three had to readjust our crotches while we heard your voice. Yes, your voice has a special effect on who is listening. It is deep and sensual. I would even say it is loaded with sexual innuendos. I can't imagine what your voice would do on a documentary about sexuality. I can easily imagine women having an orgasm without touching themselves... and that would be valid for men as well.
I laughed out loud. I found it quite exaggerated.
-Don't laugh Al, I know what I am saying. It makes me think that we could contact those companies that make audio-books. I can imagine what it would be listening to your voice reading books with erotic contents. Must be a blast.
-By the way... did you talk to Fernando about not having more threesomes?
-Not yet my Love! I don't think it was the right place nor the right moment. I'll find a way to make him understand, don't worry about that and he will never know what you told me in that storage room, I can promise you that.
-Please Filip, understand that normally seen I am not a jealous guy. I just don't want to lose you.
-And you won't lose me. I am far too much in love with you. We have both had our share of men and good sex, we have to admit that, but what we have now is totally different. I can see me getting old with you. There are so many things I still want to do with you, being it professionally or privately. I want to experience new things with you. I am sure that you have, just like me, a bucket list. I just know that quite a few things on these lists are going to be the same for you and for me. We still have a whole life in front of us and we don't have to worry about finances as we are both quite successful in our jobs. We can afford to do whatever our hearts desire.
Although Filip's words were soothing, the nagging feeling was back because ... while he talked to me, he didn't look me in the eyes. What was happening to me? Or to him? Filip never avoided my eyes while talking. I had that stupid feeling that he was just saying a rehearsed speech. Yes, he still took me in his arms. Yes, he still showed me a lot of love, but suddenly it was not enough anymore. I wanted to see his eyes when he talked to me. As we were walking it was difficult to look me in the eyes, so I stopped in my track and made him look at me.
-Please Filip, look me in the eyes when you say such important things. It means the world to me that I can see your eyes when hearing these words. From the start we have been honest with each other and I even showed myself in the most vulnerable moments, when I was on my weakest...
There, in the middle of the street, surrounded by a lot of people we didn't know, he took me in his arms, kissed me and then looked me straight in the eyes.
-I love you. Don't ever doubt about that.
And then we walked on towards my apartment. I suddenly felt silly. Filip had proven in various occasions that I had not to doubt about what he was saying. So far as I knew, he had never lied to me. Why did I have that nagging feeling? Filip had raised me to a new level, professionally. He had shown real concerns about my well being and I had done the same for him. The little things I had seen between him and Fernando bothered me. As I said, I was not a jealous guy. I just wanted to know what was going on... if anything was going on indeed.
I couldn't understand myself. Now that I had more confidence in my self than ever in my life, I started to doubt about the love of my life. The first question that came up in my mind was to wonder what I had done wrong. Did I really do something wrong? I didn't think so. Filip and I had been more than compatible in all aspects. Sexually we were in perfect sync. In our daily life we thought more about the other than about ourselves. Filip had altruistically raised me to a new professional level and I had more success than I ever had in the past. Jeez! If you saw the figures on the contracts he made Flint sign, you'd be flabbergasted. I tried to put all this nagging feelings out of my head, but I admit it was not easy. I was probably overreacting to the little things I saw.
That night we made love, passionate love. That was how Filip worked: if he couldn't give himself a hundred percent, he wouldn't start anything in the first place. For the very first time since we knew each other and were making love, I stopped him in the middle of the action, just before he was about to enter me.
-Sorry Filip, I think we have to talk because I want to be honest with you a hundred percent.
I told him what I had seen. I told him what I thought about the fact he had said things to me without looking me in the eyes. I was hundred percent honest with him and told him without hesitation what was on my mind. I was almost bothered when he smiled at me.
-Ok Al... Let's go to the living room and serve us a drink. I can tell you are bothered and that is the last thing I want because I love you so much.
It made me feel even more silly. I had somewhere expected him to get mad or angry, but he didn't. He smiled. We got up from the bed and went to sit down in the sofa.
-Let me tell you something, Filip said. I want to be totally honest with you and I guess I should have told you earlier. Indeed, there is a kind of complicity between Fernando and I, but nothing that you should be worried about.... Before I met you I was already working with Fernando for various recordings. Don't forget it was before I met you. We had a short sexual affair at that time. I can assure you there were no feelings involved. It was purely sexual. When I went to the studio it soon became a kind of routine where he would suck me off or I would fuck him or vice versa. It was not a regular thing. We never met outside the recording studio. How can I put it? It was more of sexual relief when we had some pent-up frustrations.
Already at that point I knew that what I saw was not something my imagination had invented. I knew I had been right from the start and I received the confirmation I was not getting crazy. It had not been jealousy, but pure intuition.
-Then I met you. I told him how much I loved you and that I wanted to have an exclusive relationship with you, completely monogamous. Fernando told me that he understood but at the same time he was rubbing my crotch through my jeans. I made him stop, but he didn't want to understand what I was telling him. For me it was frustrating because he was the best technician in town and I didn't want to lose the perfect professional relationship we had. I let him suck me, telling him it was the last time. At that moment he accepted it.
-Why didn't you tell me that BEFORE you introduced me to him?
-It was not important for me and as I said he finally seemed to understand that our little sexual games were over. That was till he saw you for the first time. He was immediately smitten by you and you know what happened during that first visit. I wasn't prepared for his actions, but on the other hand, we had discussed what would happen if we both agreed on including a third party in our sexual games. So, as what I had with him was purely sexual, I guessed it was exactly the same: sex for sex, without feelings. I didn't see any harm in it.
-But... you didn't do anything to avoid it or stop him!
-That's right Al, I didn't because I could see that you had a serious erection in your pants and thus thought you were up for it. I know... I should have talked to you before it all happened. I am so sorry that I didn't. I never thought it would cause a problem between us. As I said, it was sex for sex and nothing else.
-Ok...
I let it all sink-in in my mind. I had that foolish feeling that I had been set-up... almost used. The three pillars of our relationship, being it Love, Respect and Trust, just received a serious smack.
-So, I said, what about the signs of complicity I saw between the two of you?
Filip didn't look away. I found the good old Filip I had known from the start, being honest and sincere and not avoiding my eyes when talking.
-That was something inevitable after what we did in the past. Before I met you, we had that complicity and common interest in sexual relief. Nobody ever knew about that. For you it became obvious to the point it bothered you. The fact that you noticed it just proves that you really love me and that you start to know me inside out. It fills my heart with joy that you reached that point. I am also sorry that you had to see it. I admit that I just hoped that you wouldn't see it or notice it. That made me realize I underestimated your love for me. Thank you!
-So... what happens next? I understand we can't jeopardize the professional side of all this. You told me Fernando is the best in his job and that's why his studio has so much success. Will he accept that we exclude him sexually? Will he try to get in our pants at the most unexpected moment? Is he a rancorous person and try to jeopardize my future career in voice-over? You know he already did quite a good job introducing me to important people.
-Yes, indeed, he did and I didn't ask him to do so. He did it out of his own free will. I don't know why he did it... Was it with the prospect of having sex with you? I don't think so. He is far more professional than that. I am convinced he did it because he as well saw the potential of your voice. I am sure that when he made Flint listen to your voice, it was a purely professional approach. I don't think we can judge or condemn him only on his sexual urges. As I told you, I know him on a professional basis as well as a sexual one, but nothing else. I don't know if he is rancorous. I don't know if he would put his sexual urges before his professional skills.
-So, let me repeat my question: what are we going to do next?
-I guess that the best thing would be that we talk to him, both, not just me. He has to understand we are a couple and even if we indulged in having sex with him, we are not interested in a throuple. I am sure that when we play the card of honesty, everything will be all right.
-Do you think it would be a good idea to find him a steady boyfriend so that he wouldn't need sex on the side?
Filip laughed out loud.
-I think you have a wicked mind Al, but also admit it wouldn't be such a bad idea. It would avoid to tell him in his face that we don't want to have more sexual experiences. Do you have anybody in mind?
-I think Flint is gay as well, although I am not sure. Fernando being blunt as he is, has probably tried him already. They seem to have a good connection, even if it is only professional. I think they could make a nice couple if they are both into it.
After that conversation, we went back to bed. I had a lot to think about although Filip had explained quite a lot of things. That awful nagging feeling had disappeared and I felt better, but not enough to resume our lovemaking. I only wanted to cuddle with Filip and feel safe in his arms. I took my favorite place with my head on his chest and his arm wrapped around my shoulder. My hand went straight to his genitals and he was already hard. He didn't insist. It was one of the first nights that we fell asleep without making love.
To be continued...
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