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No ssex in this chapter, but it will come back soon. Stay tuned...
A few weeks later, we heard that Fernando's studio was closed completely. Some friends of ours had even seen a van and several men loading the technical equipment one day. We guessed we heard the last of Fernando. What I didn't expect was that I would cross paths with Frederic. My God! It was not the same Frederic I had last seen at our house-warming party. It was only because he stared so intensely at me that I was wondering where I knew that face from, and recognized him. He had lost a lot of weight. The Frederic we had known always took care of himself and with the job he did, his appearance was always perfect. Little did I know that Frederic was on the edge of collapsing and even had suicidal thoughts. I didn't know why, but I went over to him and said hello. He didn't answer with words because he immediately started to sob and even fell on the ground. I kneeled beside him. Something told me there was a nasty history behind it all and I was convinced that Fernando was a big part of it.
I helped Frederic back on his feet. He couldn't look me straight in the eyes. I pushed him against a wall to make sure that he, at least, wouldn't fall backwards. His clothes were filthy. He was not shaven and most importantly, I smelt alcohol on his breath. If you had told me he was living on the streets, I wouldn't have had the slightest problem believing it. We were very close to a café with a terrace. I led him to it, sat him down and ordered the biggest breakfast they would serve and lots of coffee. The waiter looked suspiciously at me. It didn't bother me. The breakfast was for Frederic as I had already eaten. As soon as it was on the table, Frederic devoured it. I wondered how long it was since he had had a decent meal. His plate was soon empty and he looked with pleading eyes at me. He still hadn't said a word. By the way he looked at me, I ordered a second breakfast and it was gone at the same speed as the first one.
Several coffees later, Frederic seemed to relax a bit. I knew he had a severe problem. It was obvious.
-Do you want to talk about what happened? I asked.
Tears were in his eyes again. He looked ashamed.
-Why are you doing this for me after what I did?
-I have the feeling that it is not all your fault, I answered. The only thing you did was believing in someone who wasn't worth it... I suspect.
He nodded. This was not going to be an easy conversation. I hated it when I had to get something out of someone. I urged him to tell me his side of the story behind his total decline. He sighed several times.
-I need a drink!
-I don't think it is a good idea Frederic. I want you to sober up and tell me what happened to you before I can help you, if you accept any help.
-I don't deserve any help... from no one. I am just a scumbag and a drunk.
-Frederic... everybody deserves a second chance, but I have to know your story.
He was shaking all over. I could see he NEEDED a drink. My God! What had he gotten in to?
-I'll buy you a drink after you tell me what exactly happened, not before.
He had again that pleading look on his face. I stayed impassible and he seemed to remember I was a man of my word. He sighed again.
-What do you want to know?
-Everything!
-Oh ... Do you want me to start at your house-warming party?
-It would be a good start, I answered.
-Hmm... That night we had a threesome with Flint. It was great. When Flint fell asleep, Fernando took me by the hand and led me to the den where Flint wouldn't hear us. He said he was madly in love with me and wanted us to spend the rest of our lives together. At that time, I felt so lonely and wanted to hear these words from whoever it would be. It happened to be Fernando who said them. I believed him and fell in his spiderweb. I knew later that it was a spiderweb and that he was a lethal spider. We dressed in a hurry and left Flint's place. We ran away from him. Fernando talked me into moving away, to another city and even another country if necessary. Jeez... I saw myself on a tropical island living what I thought was the love of my life. We never reached any island. We just got to the next city. Love makes blind people say and blind I was. Our first month together was beautiful. I had quit my job and knew I could afford to be without one for a bit of time. Fernando didn't work either. We went to parties you can't even imagine. Booze and drugs were the stars of the night. At first I refused, but Fernando was so insistent that I gave in. That was the first door to hell that opened. Each night we drank more and more and combined it with lots of cocaine. I was paying for it most of the times. When one day I said I wouldn't pay, Fernando started to beat me. I fought back, but he was a lot stronger and fighting back made it all worse. The second time I said I had no more money, the beating was even stronger. It was a lie... there was not that much left on my bank account, but he demanded it. I said no and ended that night in hospital, with Fernando next to me. He apologized profusely and in the emergency room he pretended I fell from the stairs. The doctors didn't believe his story and not even ten minutes later, the police was there to interrogate Fernando. He firmly stuck to the stair-story and as I was so afraid of another beating, I confirmed it.
It costed Flint an eye and an arm to continue.
-I was in hospital for three days. Fernando didn't come to see me once. When I was released, I went home. I couldn't believe what I saw. The place we rented was completely destroyed. You have to know that the lease contract was on my name. I couldn't face the situation and came back here. I went to my old apartment that was mine. When I arrived I saw the front door was open and entered to find a totally empty space. All my furniture and belongings had gone. I went to my bedroom where I had a safe with some money in it. It had been broke open and was empty as well. The only thing I thought I could do was to withdraw some money from my bak account, but it was only then that I saw that my bank card was not in my wallet anymore. I went to my bank. My account was empty and he had even used my available credit. I owed the bank five thousand.
I couldn't imagine what it was to have to live such a situation. Frederic took a deep breath and continued.
-A few days later I was arrested. The owners of the apartment we had rented were suing me for the repairs. The bank was suing me for the unpaid credit and I didn't have a penny to buy some food. I had to face trial and was, of course, condemned. That was when I started to sell my body, doing blow-jobs and let me fuck in the darkest alleys and most filthy hotels. I needed the money for food, booze and cocaine. My apartment had been seized by the court but as there was still a mortgage on it and after paying the owners of the other apartment, the bank and so on, there was absolutely nothing left for me. As I had no place to live, I wandered on the streets. Came the moment that I couldn't even have a decent shower and that made that my sex-clients deserted me as well... So, thanks for the breakfast. Can I have a drink now?
I didn't know what to do, but bought him a drink anyway. After that, I made a conference call with Filip and Flint, explaining them what had happened. The story Frederic had told me was so incredible that I didn't think he could have invented it. I believed him. Filip and Flint were so stunned that they couldn't utter a word. Finally, Filip said to bring Frederic home and let him have a decent shower or bath, as well as some clean clothes and that we would talk about the whole problem at noon. So I did.
In the bathroom I told Frederic to strip and to step in the shower. He obeyed without any resistance. It was only then that I saw the numerous scars and marks on his body. I was horrified. It only confirmed what he had told me. I suddenly felt so dirty when thinking about the fact that I had let Fernando fuck me. I came to realize that we had not known Fernando at all. I left Frederic to his shower, prepared a new razor to shave and a toothbrush and also had some clean clothes for him to wear. While he was showering, I prepared the lunch. I dressed the table for five people as Fabio was always lunching with us.
Filip and Flint showed a lot of empathy but not to the point of hugging or kissing. I warned Frederic that he would have to face Flint as he was living with us. Frederic became really nervous and was shaking all over again.
-Relax Frederic, Flint will not harm you and doesn't hold it against you what happened. Let's say he is not happy the way Fernando and you acted, that's for sure, but he is one of the good guys, I can assure you that.
Despite his earlier question of why I did what I did, Frederic became more confident and started to trust me... I think. Filip and Flint both had had time to think about what to do, even if there was no immediate answer. To Fabio I gave a quick short version of the facts so that he would know what was going on.
I wouldn't say Frederic was his old self when he came out of the bathroom. He was clean and shaven and with clean clothes on he was ... presentable. He was not the handsome man we had known when we bought the house, but at least he didn't look like a beggar or a vagabond. Even with two complete breakfasts in his stomach, he still devoured whatever was on his plate. It would make him gain some weight and that was not a bad idea at all.
Filip decided to postpone the appointments he had that afternoon and to take Frederic to our family doctor. The most urgent thing was to have a complete STD test done as he had admitted selling his body and not always in the most hygienic conditions, plus that he couldn't afford to buy condoms. Filip asked our doctor to get the medical report when Frederic had been in the hospital. And last, but not least, Filip wanted our doctor to send Frederic to rehab for cocaine and booze. Frederic was sober enough to realize he was given the chance of a lifetime and accepted whatever the doctor and Filip decided.
That same afternoon, Filip drove Frederic to the rehab center after the doctor's visit. The program was hard and Frederic knew he had to accept if he didn't want to end in the streets again. We were not allowed to visit him the first two months, but yes, we were allowed to pay the expensive bills. We hadn't hesitate a moment to accept that responsibility. As we paid the bills, we were entitled to receive a weekly update of how Frederic was doing. These reports were in the typical medical terminology that we didn't understand very well. Our doctor helped us to translate that medical jargon into normal understandable language. In short, Filip did well.
The first two months went so fast and on the first Sunday we were allowed to visit, we were first introduced to the head of the rehab center who gave us some instructions about what was allowed and what not. After that we had to go to a kind of big room where patients and visitors could meet. When we saw Frederic we were stunned. He had gained some weight and he was almost his old self again. He had a bright smile on his face and genuinely seemed happy to see us. He first hugged me and then Filip. He politely asked Flint if he could hug him as well. Flint accepted and Frederic had a few happy tears rolling down his cheek.
We sat down at a table near the window that gave us magnificent views on the well maintained garden. We were served coffee or lemonade. I thought that first visit would be a bit awkward, but it wasn't. Frederic had recovered a kind of self-confidence.
-I first and foremost want to apologize to you guys, for all the harm I could have done to you. Flint, my sincere apologies because you were the first to suffer because of my actions. And I want to thank you for all you did and still are doing. I can assure you I'll get my life back together and will repay you every cent you paid for me. I insist on it and won't take no for an answer. And last, I want to tell you that I won't disappoint you in any way. Here, they make you realize how you got to the point of needing the center, how to accept it and how to do the necessary to not fall again in the past errors. I will do everything that I can to make you proud of me and my future behavior.
That little speech got us all emotional. It was so obvious that Frederic meant every word of it and I was convinced he would indeed get his life back together like he promised. I crossed my fingers that that center would continue the good work they started. After his little speech, Frederic told us about how life was at the center and how difficult it had been at the beginning. He qualified the first three to four weeks as hell, till he realized what he was there for and the damage he had caused. All the time he had been on his own after Fernando got all he could and that he was on the streets, slowly going down hill, he wasn't himself anymore. He had recuperated part of his self-esteem and took proud in his achievements. He told us how he remembered the day I had found him and how he had appreciated the help he had received and still was receiving. We were happy to hear and see his evolution in only two months time. He was even worried what Fabio was thinking of him and certainly would appreciate seeing him so he could apologize to him as well. All in all, we were happy for every cent we were spending on Frederic's recovery.
Leaving Frederic behind was a bit hard although we knew it was best for him. The program Frederic was following was a six-months one. During that time we often went to visit him, making him feel that he had friends. At first we were only allowed to visit on Sundays but with time, and Frederic very good behavior, we were allowed almost any day. As Frederic had requested, Fabio started to come along as well though he didn't understand why Frederic had asked it. I had to persuade him, telling him it would be a benefice to Frederic's complete recovery. I didn't know if Fabio accepted because I was his boss or if there was another motive. Frederic appreciated Fabio visiting him. That was when we realized that Frederic was really his old self again : someone with respect towards others and gratitude for what people did for him.
We also noticed that Frederic was wearing new clothes. Where he had gotten them form was a mystery, but I guessed some of them would be on the monthly bill we paid. He wore them with pride and dignity and I thought several times he could be on a catwalk of any fashion-show. It seemed he had also visited the hairdresser as he was wearing a quite modern look. Yes, he was truly handsome and even attractive. With a smile and a wink I asked him if he had found a new love. Frederic laughed it off.
-Do you really think I could go down that lane again? Please Al, after what I have been going through, love a man again is the that last thing on my mind. I can accept whatever friendship comes my way, but I don't feel ready to trust anybody. I guess that is an issue I will have to work on. The psychologist here tells me I have to do things at my own rhythm and that there is no need, for the moment, to hurry things. One thing is sure: nobody will ever have the opportunity to beat me again. We are asked here to do physical exercises and I chose self-defense.
I was truly proud of him and it just confirmed he was a good guy. OK, he had done some stupid things. I was sure he wouldn't commit such mistakes again. A few weeks later he told me that he had volunteered to help with some groups and that he loved what he was doing. I suggested that he could maybe start studying again, maybe psychology or social work. The mere suggestion brought a spark in his eyes. It was as if it had never crossed his mind before.
-The first thing I will have to do when I get out of here, is to find a job and be independent. There is a department here that looks for jobs for people who are almost at the end of their rehab. I will also have to find a place to live.
It made me think and I would have to talk to Filip and Flint about an idea I had in my head. Frederic was showing that he wanted to recover an honorable place in society and was doing all he was asked for. He deserved a little help more. While I was preparing our dinner, Filip and Flint sat at the kitchen island, sipping some chilled white wine and I thought it was the best moment to suggest my idea. I first told them how well Frederic was doing at the center and that he started to think about being independent again and finding a new job.
-His problem is of course to find a place to live. I was thinking that maybe, if you two agree, we could clean out the attic. It is spacious enough to refurbish it into a cosy living space. There is already a toilet and that means that water pipes reach the attic as well as water drainage. Installing a bathroom and a kitchen wouldn't be such a hard work. Finding the necessary furniture for living and dinning room would be easy and finding a bed and a closet would be just a piece of cake. As to give him responsibility, we could charge him a little rent as to not making him feel we do some charity work.
-That is a brilliant idea Al, Filip said. It would also allow him to not be left on his own after what he has been through. We could tell him he has to pay rent only once he has a job. We can contact the guy who did some works here before we moved in. He did a very good job and finished all in the required time. If you remember well, he was not that expensive.
-I know a friend's girlfriend that has a secondhand shop of furniture. I am sure we could get good prices with her. At the company we will soon have our yearly sales of out-dated computer things. They change them because the accountant says it has to be replaced, but the computers and other devices are in perfect working order.
We had about six weeks to transform the attic and it was the first time where we would really know if the sound-proof room was really efficient. Fabio would be our best reporter on this as there was quite lot of noise in the house with the workers installing bathroom and kitchen in the attic. Consequently, I had to forget about translations and concentrated on recording the voice-over for several more documentaries. I also had two audio-books pending of recording. In less than three weeks, all the big works were done. We only had to bring in the furniture we bought and make the attic a cosy living space.
The week before Frederic was released from the center, he was very nervous and excited. During six months the center had been his home and even though he longed to be able to get out, he also was a bit apprehensive of doing so. We hadn't told him about the attic. We wanted it to be a surprise, but he surprised us even more as he had found a job. In fact, he was not leaving the center completely. His volunteer work had been so much appreciated that the staff had offered him a paid job. When he told us, it was like a kid telling us he received something for Christmas. He had a week off before starting his duties after leaving the center. Everybody thought it was to give him time to find a living space. We went to get him that last day and brought him home. He mentioned he had to hurry to find an apartment. That was when we blindfolded him and led him up the stairs and opened the door to his new private quarters. I took off his blindfold.
-If you want it, this is your new apartment.
To be continued...
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