Virgin at Forty Two

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My name is Stark, Francis Stark. I am forty-two and quite in good shape, even if I say so myself. I am about 6 feet tall and a little under 190 pounds. I don't have a six-pack, but I don't have fat around the waist either. I am Caucasian, but due to my Hispanic origins, my skin seemed to be tanned all year around. My head is adorned with jet black eyes and a few grey strays tend to appear sine about a year. My eyes are brown, chocolate brown and seem to have a sparkle in it if I have to believe the people I met and who said so. I am clean-shaven and trim my chest hair and my pubes. If I don't, I am like a monkey and I hate it. Once a month I allow myself to some vanity and have the hair on my shoulders and my back removed by laser. If I have to believe the lady in the shop, after about ten sessions, it shouldn't grow back. I cross my fingers that she is right.

I have an anonymous job. What I mean by that is that I work in an office and we seldom have visitors. I have a job that is mostly administrative, but I also answer the phone to help people having problems with the products we sell. We sell kitchen appliances being it stoves, fridges, ovens and so on. If there is a technical problem we dispatch the call to the appropriate service. If it is a problem how to use it, we answer the call and try to give the necessary explanations.

If I am not in the office, you can find me at home, watching television or reading a book. Two times a week I go running and once a week I go swimming. I am not the type of guy that takes the car to go to a gym to then run 5 or so miles on a treadmill. I prefer to run them in the open air. I live in the south of Florida and the weather is seldom that bad that I can't do my run. Again, when weather allows it, I try to swim in the sea, as the movement of the water obliges me to put more strength in my swimming than in a pool.

I own my house. I did my last payment of the mortgage about 2 months ago and I can assure you I feel the difference at the end of the month. I think I will be able to even save some money, something I have almost never been able to do. Yes, like most of you, I have been struggling to reach the date of the monthly payment I get for my work, without doing anything foolish. It's been ages since I last went to a restaurant. When I see what some of them dare to charge for what they serve, I prefer to spend that same money in the supermarket and have decent food at home. I love to cook and it has never bothered me to spend one or two hours in the kitchen and then five minutes to eat it.

My house is a little villa with just one floor without any stairs. The living room has French doors and gives on the terrace and a small backyard that is my pride and my joy. Two years ago I installed a swimming pool that is neither too big not too small. It allows me to refresh in the summer, but not to swim actual laps as a daily exercise. With the New Year's bonus we received at work, I could finally afford a decent flat screen television and I enjoy it very much.

So after all, I can't complain. Life is getting easier now that I have no more mortgage and if everything keeps on going well, I will probably be able to change my fifteen year old Honda for something new.

I have no family whatsoever. My parents died a few years ago. My Dad went first as he had cancer. My Mum died of a brain bleeding. I am sure they loved each other but I have never seen them express their love in any way. They never kissed when someone was around. They never held hands. If you ask me if they had sex, they must have had it at least once, as I am the living proof of it. I never saw them naked, not even by accident. At my father's funeral my mother didn't even cry, but I heard her sob behind the closed door of her bedroom one night after my father died. I guess I loved them, but love was not a common feeling in the parental house.

I never came out to them. They never asked me why I didn't bring a girl home and I never volunteered to answer an unspoken question. I knew I was gay since the age of fifteen, but didn't act on it. I didn't connect it to sexuality anyway. At a very early age I had assimilated that I wanted to be friends at school only with the good-looking ones. When I found someone unattractive, I didn't even make an effort to know him or her. I just made sure to be close to the handsome ones and certainly after the physical education lessons. The showers were for me a secret fantasy and seeing all the naked bodies was making my day. I had my real first erection when I was sixteen. If I had it before, I had not been aware of it, meaning it would have happened at night in my sleep. So, even in the showers I had no embarrassing moments.

When I graduated at school, my parents asked what I would like. I didn't know if they were asking me if I wanted to go on studying or if they wanted to know what kind of present I wanted for my graduation. It came out it was the latter one. They didn't think I was smart enough to pursue a career and didn't really have the means for me going to university. I asked for a computer. I had no idea of their wealth or lack of it, but nonetheless I received a laptop a few days later. I loved writing and I suppose they got tired of the noise of the antique typewriter we had. With the computer I could type a whole night away without disturbing them. They were pragmatic after all.

The reason I asked for a computer was that I loved writing. I had a vivid imagination and wrote all kind of short stories, poetry and even some science fiction. Nothing was ever published. I had to wait till I was twenty-one to see my first article published in the local newspaper. They had offered the possibility to young writers to show their skills. The best three stories would be published in the weekend edition. I came out third, but was nonetheless very proud of it. The only comment my father made was that with such an expensive computer I could at least be first. After that, I never again mentioned any publication of any of my texts although I did on a weekly basis. That was part of the prize I won. Despite of my father's reaction, I continued writing and even achieved to write a book. Unfortunately I had no idea who I would have to send it to. So, it stayed on my hard disk.

I started to work quite early. I had several jobs in less than five years. The first jobs were really insignificant and didn't pay a lot. I had promised my Mum that as soon as I would be working I would always give her half my salary, but she refused. She made a rough calculation of the costs for me staying home and then she told me how much it was. I added ten percent to that amount and that was what I gave her every month. It allowed me to save the rest for the day I wanted to move out. Even when I was out of work, I gave her the same money. My parents thought I was working, but I wasn't always.

At the age of twenty-two I had a steady job that paid ... well, not a lot but a decent amount for me to get on my own. I had saved quite some money and instead of renting an apartment, I bought the little villa that I still have. When I bought it, it was a ruin! That's why it was so cheap. There was a lot of work to do in that house and I patiently learned to fix electrical problems, clean out the plumbing and repairing anything that belonged to a carpenter's office. I also learned to paint and redo walls and ceilings. At that time my life was restricted to work on the job and work on the house. I didn't mention it to my parents that I had actually bought it. They were still renting their place. My Mum helped me with what she could, but my father didn't even visit me in my own house even though I had invited him several times.

When my father died I said to my mother that I didn't need the heritage, that she could keep it all. Although she was surprised with my decision she accepted it, as there was no possibility to live with her pension. But her life was miserable. She actually couldn't live without my father. His illness had worn her out. They had a medical insurance that paid for the bills, fortunately. But living without her husband was not what she wanted. The neighbors found her dead in the hallway. They called me and the doctors just confirmed her death. It had been a massive brain bleeding. They said she was better off dead than living as a plant. I agreed.

Their house had to be empty at the end of the month after my mother's passing away. Their furniture was not antique, it was just old and couldn't even serve to give to charity. I found a set of fine china and I didn't even recall my mother using it. I found quite a lot of useful things there were still in their original packing. She had bought it but never used it. In one drawer of the living room cupboard I found all their papers. I had not a clue what they were. I asked ac accountant friend to go through them and tell me what they all were. I was flabbergasted when he told me there was a substantial life insurance and that their savings amounted to two hundred thousand dollars. All together it was worth about half a million dollars.

That's when I finished the works around my house and also installed the swimming pool. The rest of the money I invested wisely as to have a steady little income every year. I was not rich, but my life was certainly easier.

Once my parents had both disappeared I decided I had no reason to keep in the closet. The only thing was that I had nobody to come out to. I didn't want to come out at my work as I kept private life and professional life completely separated. The few acquaintances I had were not really interested in my sexual orientation.

Here I was, forty-two years of age and a virgin! I had had no sexual encounters whatsoever. I had learned about masturbation at the age of twenty-five! I felt completely retarded. I had secretly looked at naked men on the Internet but never went further than that. The worst of all was that I didn't have a clue of what love was. I didn't know the feeling and didn't have the slightest idea of how to find it or where to look for it. I felt pathetic!

When the bank manager called me because he wanted to see me in his office, I entered in a phase of panic. Why on earth would he like to see me? I had a few investments since my parents died, but nothing else. The morning I had to go to the bank I was one nervous wrack. As soon as I introduced myself to the employee on duty, she immediately asked me to wait. She was going to tell the bank manager I had arrived. I imagined the bank manager to be an old man of about sixty, but was pleasantly surprised he was about my age. He gave me a firm handshake and was all smiles. He led me to his office and offered me a seat and a coffee. I sat down but declined the coffee.

• Let me go straight to the point Mr. Stark. You have a few investments with us here at the bank. One of those investments is coming to an end and provides you with a nice benefit. We wanted to know what you want to do with it. Are you going to re-invest it? Or do you prefer to have that money on your account? I would strongly suggest you to re-invest, but the decision is yours.

I hadn't a clue of what he was talking about. When I got that money from the life insurance of my parents I had just told the employee to invest it, but had never looked closer into it. It seemed that the investment the employee made was quite a good one and my capital had just doubled. I asked if that employee was still with the bank and the manager said yes with a smile.

• In fact Mr. Stark, I was the one who invested your money some years ago. Meanwhile I received some promotion and I am now the manager of the bank.

I was glad to hear that.

• Well Mr. Svenson, I think that congratulations are in place! Seeing the wise investments you made and even more seeing the results, I guess I will trust you to do whatever it is you think is best. I have no idea about banking and investments. If I didn't trust you I would say to put the money on my account and that would be it. I am not in immediate need of cash, so... do what you think is best.

He looked at me and smiled. If we had been in another situation, I would have said he was looking me over, but as I had no experience in that, I had no clue. He was friendly, yes, but I supposed his job, as a bank manager obliged him to do so. He made me sign a few papers so that he would be allowed to invest my money without to have to ask for my permission every five minutes. When everything was done he asked me if I fancied lunch. I was still supposing this was part of his job although I didn't think I was an important enough client. But, I had time and accepted.

I had no idea that that lunch would change my life forever. He invited me in a restaurant that was way over my budget as I tried to love according to my wages and not to what I had in my bank account. We were seated in a discreet corner and almost out of view. I learned later that this was his table whenever he came to the restaurant with clients. Bank matters always needed a quiet and somehow secluded table.

We were soon on a first name basis, as he asked me to call him Tony. Once again in my naivety I thought he was asking that to put me at ease and to gain my trust. During the five first minutes of our lunch we talked about banking. After that he got more personal asking about my job, where I was living and my family situation. He was an easygoing guy and I actually talked quite more than usual. After paying the bill, Tony said that we definitely had to do that again and that there were no reasons for us to wait till a banking matter had to be discussed. I politely said that we could do that and thanked him for the lunch and future invitations.

He went back to the bank and I went to my car to drive home. Strangely enough, the image of Tony and the experience of lunch with him, stayed in my head and my mind for several days. I thought about what he had told me about himself and came to the realization that he had mentioned no wife and no kids. With that information I started to analyze the meeting from the first handshake till we parted at the door of the restaurant. Some flashes came to my mind. His smile, his invitation and more than anything else the straightforward look he gave me every time he spoke to me. I didn't understand it all but in retrospective I had to admit he had been flirting with me.

Of course, I didn't know what to do with it. I had never had anyone flirting with me before and if there had been anyone, I had not noticed it. The more I thought about it, the more I tried to remember his features. He was about my height and my weight. He had dirty blond hair and piercing blue eyes. He was clean-shaven and perfectly dressed. Although he had a job where he was sitting at a desk ninety- five percent of the time, he seemed to have absolutely no fat in his body. He probably worked out to keep in shape.

It had never occurred in the past, but I caught myself thinking about Tony quite a lot. I even imagined us going for a run two times a week. I had no problem whatsoever to see him in short athletic shorts and a tank top or T-shirt. When I visualized him like that I could even see some pearls of sweat on his face. Even though we had met only once, I started to idolize him. I saw him as the perfection of man: successful in business, great in sports, handsome and polite... you name it and he was the best in any category I could think of. When I was taking my shower in the morning I often thought about him and my hands would drop to my crotch and stroke my fast hardening cock. I admit I spurted more than one shot down the drain.

About six weeks after our first meeting, Tony called me and said he had two tickets for a theatre performance and asked if I was interested. The request came as a total surprise to me, but I thought it would be a good think to have some new friends in my life, as I was getting a real loner. I accepted his invitation again. The theatre play was nothing special. Ok, it was funny and goodhearted but I would never have gone if Tony had not invited me. After the play we went for a late supper in the neighborhood of the theatre and I enjoyed the supper more than the play. We were so much in our conversation that we didn't realized immediately we were the last ones to leave the restaurant. I paid the bill this time and apologized to the waiter to keep them at work so late.

We went out for a last drink and parted after that. The following morning I thought about our second evening and had a smile on my face. I had really enjoyed myself, not because of the play or the supper, but because I started to like Tony a bit more. We had talked a lot and discovered we had quite a lot of things in common. Just like me, he was alone on this world as his parents died a few years ago. He had his own house where he was living alone. He drove an old Honda and thought about buying a new one. We both loved theatre, opera and classical music. We both had two runs a week and loved swimming. Of course, there were differences, too. He was a bank manager where I was an anonymous employee. He was at ease in big crowds where I wasn't. His house was in a more upscale neighborhood where I had mine in a poorer one. But all in all, we found ourselves quite compatible and enjoyed each other's company.

After that second meeting, we started to call each other a little bit more. Tony seemed to be eager to meet up for whatever it was, being it a movie or a meal or an exhibition of any kind. We truly enjoyed visiting galleries of paintings and both admitted that Picasso was largely over-quoted. None of us would ever have a painting, or even a copy, of that painter in our houses. We were more inclined to see paintings of young artists, expressing themselves in the best way they could.

Time flew by when we were in each other's company and I realized Tony was as much a loner as I was. Just like me, he had not a lot of friends but more acquaintances. We both agreed that the professional part of our lives had to be separated from our private lives. We reached the point where we were seeing each other on a weekly basis and even started to run together our five miles every Saturday morning. The first time we ran together, the images I had in my mind of seeing him in short athletic shorts and T-shirt became true. Even the pearls of sweat on his face were there. I didn't dare to mention it to him because I thought it was not a proper thing to do. We had a starting friendship and I certainly didn't want to jeopardize it with masturbatory fantasies.

I started to notice that Tony looked me over more and more. I my na•ve mind I thought he was making comparisons as most of the men did, or so I thought. When we were sitting face-to-face in a restaurant and our knees touched, none of us took it away. We most surely felt it, but didn't mention it or comment it. After our weekly run, we both went our own way and never even had a shower at the same place. I tried to convince myself that we were just two good friends and nothing else, but deep down in my heart and my mind, I knew I was starting to fall for Tony, but our friendship was to valuable to me, so I didn't say anything.

To say I was masturbating more since I met Tony would be an understatement. Where I masturbated maybe once every two weeks in the past, I was now doing it every day. Most of the time it would be in the shower, as the cascading water would clean away every evidence. Yes, I was closing my eyes and imagining that my hands were Tony's. I even started to soap up my fingers and touch myself anally, imagining that it was Tony's cock. I didn't know about top or bottoms, but it just felt right.

The first time Tony suggested having some steaks on the barbecue at his place, I got really nervous. Our friendship was going to cross a new line: being at each other's house. That meant that we would be alone in a place where nobody would see us. I wondered if I would be able to keep my hands to myself. I had to. I couldn't afford to lose my only and best friend. That Saturday we ran together and after our run he said I could join him at his house and take a shower there. I declined, as I had no other clothes with me. He said it was ok and gave me his private address and said to be there around one pm. I almost ran home and showered. I thought it would be best to masturbate once more as to calm down my horniness. I dressed in some white Bermuda shorts, a dark-blue T-shirt and my sneakers. On the way to his house I stopped and bought a six-pack and a bottle of wine, as I didn't know what he preferred.

His house was very similar to mine in size and outlook. When I arrived, the front door was open and I could see he was busy in the kitchen. I knocked on the door and he yelled to come in. I smiled as I saw he was similarly dressed. The kitchen door was open giving way to the terrace and the backyard. He had installed a swimming pool, too. He had dressed the terrace table and everything looked inviting. He opened two bottles of beer, handing one to me. He grilled the steaks to perfection and the salad he had prepared was absolutely exquisite. As the afternoon went by, the terrace was submerged with the golden sun-rays. It was getting pretty hot and he suggested having a dive in the swimming pool. I had no swimsuit with me!

• It's just us here, so no need for a swimsuit.

Joining the deed to the word, he peeled off his T-shirt, got out of his sneakers and stepped out of his shorts. He had nothing on underneath. I was suddenly confronted with his nakedness but Tony acted in the most natural way and asked what I was waiting for before he dove in the water. I quickly undressed, as I wanted to be in the water before he came up for air. I jumped in the swimming pool just as I saw his head coming above the water. His pool was a little bit bigger than mine and we could swim some laps. The cool water was really refreshing and even if I felt a bit awkward swimming nude, I really enjoyed it. My cock was not completely flaccid when I undressed, but thanks to the fresh water it shrunk to a "polite" size.

Tony jumped out of the pool and went sitting at the table, turning his chair so that he could soak up some sun. He didn't attempt to dress or hide his nakedness. I looked at him and thought I was in presence of a Greek god. In my eyes he was the most beautiful man I had ever seen. The thousands of droplets on his skin made him shiny in the sun. I admired his body. I caressed it with my eyes, imagining the feeling of my hands on his chest, playing with his trimmed hair. I imagined my tongue following his treasure trail to the also nicely trimmed pubes and kissing his cock. His cock was not flaccid a hundred percent, but it wasn't hard either. I thought it was beautiful. I was still standing in the water on the edge of the pool and felt my cock rise while I admired this gorgeous man. I pretended to want to swim some more laps, but it was only in the hope of getting my cock down. I didn't want to come out of the water with a boner. After about ten minutes of swimming furiously from one end to the other, I had no more excuses for staying in the water. My boner was gone, but it was clear it was not totally soft. I tried to act as naturally as possible and jumped out of the water and sat down on my chair.

• I thought you had a magnificent body Francis, but I didn't expect it to be that spectacular.

I was confused with his remark. First, I didn't think I had a "magnificent" body and second, I had not expected him to make any comments about it. I felt a bit uncomfortable, but I was happy as well to know he thought my body was more than ok. Then I realized that if he made such a comment, it was because he had looked me over. He had observed me and made a mental image of what my body would look like without any clothes on it. It was not just comparison any more. His comment told me that he liked what he saw. Was he gay after all? I didn't know and even if I thought I should return the compliment, I couldn't get the words out of my mouth.

Tony went into the house and I wondered if I should get dressed. But I was still wet and I couldn't see any towels, so I stayed naked. Tony came back with two bowls of fruit salad and vanilla ice cream. In the heat of the afternoon, it was a welcome refreshment although we just came out of the water. We started our deserts and the conversation went on just like before. The fact we were both naked didn't change a thing. After my initial fears, I relaxed and my cock didn't show any activity, resting peacefully on my balls. Far too soon, the sun set down and it was time for me to go home. As soon as I shut my door behind me, my hand went into my shorts and I climaxed in no time at all. I had a restless night. The images of naked Tony were in my mind and I couldn't get them out of it. Even though everything went well, Tony's remark about my body was playing over and over in my head. I was angry with myself that I hadn't returned the compliment as I thought his body was even better than mine.

The whole situation with Tony began to be difficult for me. I wanted him, physically. I had never had that feeling before. On top of that I was afraid that even if we got physical, I wouldn't know what to do. Yes, I had seen some action on the Internet, but seeing two guys doing it didn't mean I would be able to do it as well. I had never had sex in my life before, except with my right hand! I swore to myself to avoid other intimate moments like that afternoon, but apparently Tony had other ideas.

He started to drop by at my house unannounced. He had a vivid imagination for what we could do. He always had any or other plan for us. As I had told him I liked to swim in the sea, he dropped by and dragged me to the beach for a swim at least twice a month. Sometimes, the beaches were so crowded that it was almost impossible to have a swim. A lot of families with numerous kids were invading the beaches. We liked it when it was quieter. One day, as he was dragging me out of my house again, he said he had found another beach where there would be less people. What he didn't mention was that it was a nudist beach. Indeed, there were less people and even the sea looked cleaner. Being naked with him at his or my house was one thing, but being naked with a lot of people around was totally different. Nonetheless, I followed his example and I immediately noticed we had some looks as well from women as from men. Over the summer our tan had improved and as we were in the sun more naked than clothed, there were almost no tan lines visible. The tide was a little stronger on this beach and we really had a workout, but it felt good. Swimming naked in a pool was nice, but in the sea it was even better.

I invited Tony over for a meal, as it was the first anniversary of our first meeting at the bank. I didn't know if Tony remembered but I did. I didn't want to make any mistakes and was in my kitchen for hours to prepare what I thought had to be the best meal ever. I didn't know why I found it that important at that moment, but I did. I had dressed the terrace table with a nice tablecloth and used for the first time the China my mother had bought and never put on a table. It was probably over twenty years old and would be used for the very first time. The same happened to the glasses I used and the cutlery. I had even bought some flowers to adorn the table. I prepared some lobster and had some Champagne in the cooler. Even though it was bright daylight, I had some candles burning slowly.

When Tony arrived he exclaimed:

• Wow! What are we celebrating?

He clearly didn't remember.

• I was just in the mood to have something nice with a good friend. I hope you don't mind.

• Mind? I love it Francis. Nobody has ever done something like that for me and I appreciate it!

I decided there and then to risk a little, saying:

• Actually, it is the first anniversary of our meeting at the bank. So, it is also the first anniversary of our friendship. I was thinking about all the things we have done and shared during this year and came to the conclusion it was worth doing something special.

He came over to me and gave me a manly hug, with a few slaps on the shoulders. He then pulled out a paper out of his pocket and said:

• Yes, I know it is the first anniversary. I intended to call you over at the bank, but this is so much better.

He handed me the piece of paper and it was an extract of my bank account. I was flabbergasted to see that there was another hundred thousand more in positive balance. He then explained what kind of investments he had made and the success he had with them.

• Thank you so much Tony. I knew you were good but this is more than what I expected. I don't know how to thank you!

• I know how you can thank me!

And with that he took my face in his two hands and softly brushed his lips on mine. He broke the kiss but left his hands on my cheeks.

• If you knew how long it is since I wanted to do that! Tony said.

If he had surprised me with the benefits of his investments, he surprised me even more with his kiss. I was so stunned that I didn't know what to do, but quickly came to my senses and pulled him to me for another kiss. If the first one was tender, the second was forceful and passionate. Our mouths opened and our tongues met for the first time. But I didn't want it to go so fast.

• Before this goes any further Tony, I guess there are a few things I have to tell you and I want to do that while we enjoy this meal.

Although I wanted to kiss him and never stop kissing him, I wanted to be completely honest with him. Even though I was a little ashamed for my lack of any experience in this field, I wanted him to know it. We were sharing big parts of our lives and we were about to take it to the next level. I wanted him to know everything there was to know.

I opened the bottle of Champagne and poured us each a glass. Before sipping the nectar of the Gods, we kissed again. I served the lobster with all its trimmings and we sat down. While enjoying the meal I told Tony my story and finally admitted to him I was a virgin.

• That answers a few unspoken questions that were running through my head. I appreciate your honesty and sincerity. I am not a virgin, but I don't have that much experience either. I wanted to keep it all for someone I would love. During the two occasions that I had sex with men, I didn't enjoy it, so I stopped looking for it. Since that first meeting in my office, I knew I wanted you. I swore to go slow and be certain of my feelings. I started dating you and discovered each time something new. You have never deceived me in any way, on the contrary, you brought me joy and a new trust in life and people. I looked forward to every single meeting we had. I didn't dare to say or do anything that would jeopardize our friendship. I don't know why I dared to kiss you today, but I am so happy I did.

• I can assure you I am very happy as well, I answered. I didn't know if you were gay or not and just like you, I was afraid to jeopardize our friendship. I won't say I fell for you at our first meeting, and don't ask me when I did, because I can't answer you. What I know, and sorry to be so blatant, you became my masturbatory fantasy. It has cost me a lot to be in your company and keep my hands to myself. Being naked with you had been a joy, but at moments it was also a torture!

Tony smiled at that, because he confirmed he had had the same problem more than once.

When we finished eating, he helped me clear the table and put the plates in the dishwasher. When everything was done, we went back to the terrace and there was an awkward moment, as none of us knew exactly how to start things. We didn't even know if we were going to start anything. I felt like a clumsy forty-year-old that was maybe going to make love for the first time in his life. Tony wanted to go slow and didn't know if we were ready to do it. Despite this awkward moment, we were looking in each other's eyes and holding hands.

To be continued É

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