Chapter II
"JONATHAN!" my mom yelled as soon as she walked in the door. She walked into our living room where I was lying on the couch. My back was to her. "I can't believe you would do something so stupid! I've told you time and time again that fighting is wrong, but here you are, with a week's suspension for it. As if your grades weren't suffering enough, now you'll have a week's worth of missing assignments!" I stopped listening to her. I was more pissed off at that moment than any other time in my life.
When she gets worked up like this, it was best to just let her cool down on her own. If I tried to interrupt her at all, I usually received a slap to the face. And God knows my face hurt bad enough as it is.
She went on and on, about violence in schools, and about how kids today have no respect for others. Whatever.
"Now, what do you have to say for yourself?" ah, the line I had been waiting for.
"I was attacked, mom, I wasn't fighting. I didn't even have the chance to fight back," I said. She didn't believe me, and this only made her more angry.
"Don't you give me that. The other boys had a number of witnesses to the fight. They said you started insulting them, and that you threw the first punch," she said. I couldn't believe I was hearing this. My own mother! I couldn't believe she would take the word of a group of strangers, rather than the word of her own son.
"Whatever," I said. I got up, and ran into my room. I heard her yell after me. Something like, "get back here, we haven't finished this!" but I had had enough of this. I locked my door and laid down on my bed.
A couple of hours later, around 4:15 or so, I heard my dad arrive home. As soon as he walked in, my mom besieged him with the onslaught of her hysterical account of what happened today. From here, I learned that my father didn't even leave work when he found out I was in the hospital. And my mother, she only came because she had to sign me out. I later learned that my doctor thought that I should stay in the hospital overnight, but my mom thought I would be fine. The truth is that she didn't want to come back to the hospital to pick me up.
I didn't even acknowledge my dad when he started pounding on my door.
"You open this door right now!" he yelled. He pounded some more on the door. I felt so miserable, it was as if each blow to the door was striking me in the face. I was crying openly now. This was not the self pity tears that were shed earlier, no. These were the tears of a young man who couldn't take it anymore. I felt dead inside.
After a few minutes, my dad gave up. "Then just rot in there," he said, and he was gone. This was the man, who only a few months ago, said to me that if I ever had any problems, I could turn to him for help. The same man who once told me there was nothing I could do to make him hate me. Bullshit.
I turned to look at my alarm clock. It was 4:45. That was when I noticed my pocket knife sitting next to it. I was tired. Physically and emotionally. I was tired of the physical abuse at school, and even more so, I was tired of the verbal abuse at home. I looked again at my knife, and I had the thought that I never thought I would ever have. I thought about ending the pain.
I reached over my bedside table and picked up my knife. It was a silver, Swiss Army style with black grips on the sides. Andrea gave it to me on my last birthday. On the card, she said, "Just don't go killing anyone." I thought it was funny then. How ironic this seemed to me, as I was about to use it to kill myself.
I opened up the knife, so that the largest blade was out, and I moved it so that I could feel the cool metal on my wrist. I just sat there, staring at it. The events of the week played through my head once again. Everything, from the scene at the mall. To losing my friends, to my parents today. I had cried until I could not shed another tear. I took a deep breath, and closed my eyes. I didn't want to see this.
I slightly lifted the blade, and prepared to drive it into my skin. Just before I took the plunge, the phone rang, scaring the bejeezus out of me.
Now, I had my own phone line, since I seemed to be on it all the time. My parents decided that it would be better this way in case of an emergency. Well, since I only had one friend left, I was pretty sure who was on the other end.
I picked up the phone. "Hi Andrea," I said.
"No, guess again," said a male voice on the other end. At first I thought it was Dave, but I knew he wouldn't call me. The voice was very familiar, but I just couldn't place it.
"Who is this?" I asked, sounding drained.
"Hey Joni, its Bruce," he said. Bruce and I used to be great friends, but we gradually grew apart over the years. He was the only one that ever called me Joni.
"Are you alright? You sound depressed," he said.
"Ha. That's putting it lightly. I've lost all my friends except for one, and my parents hate me. How would you be?" I said rather coldly.
"Two," he responded.
"Two what?" I asked.
"You have two friends, unless that one person was me," he replied. That kind of surprised me.
"What? We haven't spoken in months. Why would you want to be friends with a fag?" I asked.
"Hey, you of all people should know that doesn't matter to me. Besides, I have an uncle who's gay," he said. "But anyway, I called to see if you could meet me at the mall at around 5:30? I want you to meet my cousin. He just moved here from Florida."
"I don't know, Bruce. I'm kinda busy over here," I said, looking down at the knife that had fallen to the floor.
"Oh come on! Please? I want him to get to know someone else around our age," he said.
"Then why don't you introduce him to one of your other friends?" I asked. I was becoming annoyed.
"Because you both need friends right now, and I want to help both of you," he said. "Well, I gotta go. I'll see you in a half our. And don't worry, it'll be fun." He was gone before I had the chance to protest further.
I reached down and picked up my knife. I closed the blade. I decided to go, and if things didn't work out, I could still end it all.
I got up, and as quickly and quietly as I could, I slipped out the front door with no one noticing.
I made pretty good time, I was at the mall with five minutes to spare. I still felt like shit, despite Bruce's efforts. Why the Hell did he want me to meet his cousin anyway? He'll probably end up hating me too.
I was standing in the lobby in front of the main doors to the mall. Down the corridor to the left would lead to various stores and small shops. The music store was a popular teen hangout. At the end of the hall, would be the theater.
Down the corridor to the right would lead to department stores like Sear's, and Value City, and most of the restaurants are near the end. In my mind I flashed back to that scene at the pizza place, not even four days ago. Dave's disgusted look still etched in my mind. The memory made me feel like throwing up. I did not want to see that place ever again.
I reached up to my face to wipe away a lone tear, when SOMEONE yelled into my ear.
"HI JONI!!" Bruce yelled, and then started laughing. His laughter stopped abruptly when he saw that I had been crying again. "Hey, are you okay?" he asked.
"Yeah, I'll be fine. Just a bad memory," I said. Right then, out of the corner of my eye, I saw someone standing on the opposite side to where Bruce was. I looked over at him. And what a sight it was.
Standing at around five foot, eleven inches, and weighing nearly the same as myself, about one hundred and seventy five pounds, the most beautiful boy I had ever seen in my entire life was standing two feet away from me. He had golden blonde hair, which was kept gelled in a slightly preppy hairstyle, and striking green eyes.
"Hi. I'm Tyler Hunt, Bruce's cousin," he said when our eyes met. God, even his name was sexy. I couldn't move. It were as if my entire body was frozen in place, held in the gaze of his emerald green eyes.
Bruce politely coughed quietly, breaking me from my daze. I know I must have turned a deep red, and I looked down at my shoes. I smiled and looked back up at those amazing eyes.
"Yeah...I'm Jonathan Masters. Call me Jon," he smiled and extended his hand. His touch was literally electrifying. I almost got locked in those eyes again, but he looked at Bruce and laughed a little. I was confused.
"God, Bruce, why didn't you tell me he was so cute?" Tyler asked. Shock, is the only way to describe what I was feeling at that moment. My confusion was written so plainly on my face that a blind man could read it.
Tyler looked back at me, and then he looked confused as well. "What?..." he began. He looked back over at Bruce. "You didn't tell him I'm gay?"
An intense tidal wave of thoughts rushed through my brain right then. "Okay, he is insanely gorgeous, he's gay, AND he thinks I'm CUTE! I have got to be dreaming..," I thought.
Tyler and Bruce were now almost rolling on the floor laughing. After a few seconds I joined them.
The three of us spent the rest of the day fooling around at the mall. I was happier than I had ever been in my entire life. I just could not get enough of Tyler. I loved everything about him. The sound of his laugh, they way he stops to fix his hair every few minutes, but most of all, I was intoxicated with his eyes. It was as if looking into them was like gazing into the very gateway to heaven.
At around 8:00 Bruce said that he thought we should be getting home. Home. The entire time I was with them I hadn't even thought of home. I felt more at home with them.
"Yeah, it is getting kinda late," Tyler said. "Can I call you some time, Joni?"
I couldn't believe my luck today. A day that had started off so horrible, had turned into the greatest day of my young life.
Whether it was luck, or fate, I'll never know. Tyler and I exchanged phone numbers, and the three of us parted ways to head home.
I had a lot to think about during my trek towards my house. If I had killed myself earlier, I never would have found out I had a friend like Bruce. And, better still, I never would have met Tyler. I shuddered unintentionally. I hoped that I would be able to handle everything that was bound to happen at school, but now I had something to live for. I had known Tyler for less than a day, and I already felt like it had been an eternity. And the thought of spending an eternity with him was something I really hoped for.
I turned the corner, and began walking down my street. I was dreading going home, but I knew I had to. I knew my parents would be pissed, but I didn't really care. I was used to it by now.
Then as I opened the door, I thought, "I've got to call Andrea!" I smiled to myself, thinking about how happy she would be for me. I walked in, and closed the door quietly behind me.
"Where the Hell have you been?" my father boomed from behind me. I winced at the sound of his voice. I turned to face him, but my face connected with his fist. I lost my balance from the force of the impact and the unexpectedness of it. I hit the ground hard.
"Get in your goddamned room. You're grounded," he snapped. Literally, I thought, but stopped myself from saying it. I got up slowly, and walked shakily to my room. Once I was inside, I locked the door and collapsed onto my bed.
I just lay there for a few minutes, the tears threatening to resurface. I thought about the knife in my pocket. But then immediately Tyler's face flashed into my head.
I thought, "Alright, I'll live for you."
I picked up my phone and dialed Andrea's number. By now my lip had stopped bleeding, but I knew I'd have trouble explaining the bruise tomorrow.
"Hello?" Andrea said.
"Hey Andrea....." I began, before she cut me off.
"Where have you been? I've been worrying about you. Your parents didn't know where you were. It isn't like you to just run off," she hurriedly said.
"Whoa, slow down!" I said with a laugh. "You'll never believe what happened today."
"Aliens tear out what little brain you had left?" she said jokingly.
"No, something more amazing. You know Bruce Hunt?" I asked
"Yeah, weren't you guys friends like a long time ago?" she asked.
"Yeah, well he called me this afternoon, wanting me to meet his cousin at the mall. So, I went."
"Ok... what about his cousin?" she asked.
"He's the cutest guy I have ever seen," I said.
She laughed. "God, listen to you! You sound like some teenage girl drooling over a boy band!"
I laughed too. "But you see, the thing is, he's gay."
She was silent for a few seconds. "Wow. Do you think you might have a chance with him?" she asked.
"Well, he said I was CUTE!" I broke down into a fit of giggles. "God...he's just so amazing!"
"That's great! I'm happy for you!" she exclaimed. "Well, I need to get going. Its getting kind of late, and SOME of us have school in the morning."
I laughed again. "Shut up and go to sleep."
"See you later," she said.
"You too," I replied.
I let her hang up the phone first. I had a habit of doing that. I guess it was just to make sure she didn't have some last second thing to tell me.
I yawned, and realized how tired I had been. I decided to go to sleep. I was happier than I had been all week. I hoped that things would stay this way, but somehow I knew they wouldn't.