Those of you who read my stories, both in this section, and under the Beast section, know that my stories usually center around the character of Victoria, who invariably ends up in some submissive situation. While there is a great deal of the real me in these stories, a number of them are fiction, specifically any of those involving Beast. It's not that I wouldn't do these things, but I have not been presented with the opportunity.
I have decided to write you today concerning some developments that are happening in my own life, something I have dreamed of for a long time, and am now experiencing. I have taken some medication for awhile, but now my doctor feels for it to be effective I have added another little tan pill to my daily routine. It's nothing serious, dear readers...blood pressure issues you see...but the side effects of these two little pills is to render my little boyclit relatively useless.
Oh I've helped it along - being on estrofem last year for a few months certainly had its effects...my breasts are fuller and quite sensitive, but it's still something that makes you stop and think. I was blessed with a relatively small cock thank goodness. I say that because it has proven to be only a small bump in my panties. It certainly made me feel inadequate, and fascinated with real men and their penises.
Lord knows, I've satisfied enough of them in my life! Hundreds, Darlings...truly! I am an accomplished cocksucker and feel such an inner peace when a cock is spurting into my mouth or my asspussy. It gives me a great pleasure to bring pleasures to others!
I've never used my cock in a manly way you see - never fucked a girl, feeling inadequate, and truly I was never interested. From the age of thirteen when my Daddy taught me to suck his big cock that's been my focus in life. Yes, that's right - he was my first lover.
Many times I have wondered what it would be like to be a woman, to end the charade of pretending to be male...and now, thanks to prescription medication I am facing that very fact. It's hard to accept the reality of a lifeless little peeny. It seems to be shrinking a bit, and I can stroke the little thing for hours and it still remains soft, sweet and childlike in its soft, shaved state. It's been embarrassing over the last few years, when with a guy, and they want my little clit to get all hard for them, and it doesn't. Oh I've been able to stroke it to near full erection for a man and spurt, especially if I'm in a submissive position, with him on top of me, his cock in my mouth, or his balls or his manhole in my face. But now I doubt that is even possible. It's only made me more submissive, and needy of real men feeding me their cum.
Some of the men I service like to lick and suck on it, and it tickles so! While they would like it to grow and spurt the fact of the matter is they much prefer my titties, and kissing and nibbling on them. They all treat me as a girl now, and that's as it should be, isn't it?
SO the question really is..."Where do I go from here?"
I have been doing some research on the internet about meds that will further increase my bust size, and some that not only promise that, but a conversion of the remaining testosterone in my body into estrogen. I must admit I find it an exciting prospect!
While I would never have my male equipment removed, I wonder about what it would be like to spend the rest of my life with an even smaller sissyclit...unable to produce spermies at all, shrunken little balls, and breasts that would be even fuller and obvious to everyone. Of course there are some benefits - softer hair and skin, a more feminine body. One of the medications even says that you may begin smelling like a woman! Can you imagine?
How does one explain these changes to family, to an employer? I keep thinking how much the guys I service would love the changes - but they usually come by when they're horny (most are married and their wives won't pleasure them the way I do) and then they're off on their merry way, leaving me with their cum in my tummy or in my ass.
So, dear readers...what do you think? This is the point where fantasy becomes reality.