Disclaimer
I do not own the rights to any of the characters of the Marvel or DC universe. Any original characters referenced in this tale are my intellectual property (I think? copyright law is confusing :S)
I know and care little about the sexuality of any of the creators, actors, or characters involved in the Marvel/DC universe. Similarly, this story contains graphic descriptions of gay male sex. If that offends you, I suggest looking elsewhere for entertainment. Otherwise enjoy some smut. The smut will be widespread and hopefully organic to character growth.
Partial credit goes to the story Mutation by Phoenixfire543 (on nifty) for inspiring me to write my own variation on the whole superhero genre. His protagonist inspired mine power wise, though mine varies a lot in temperament and disposition.
Due to military secrets and governmental stupidity I couldn't find a coherent account of a NAVY SEAL's journey from raw recruit to operational SEAL. I filled in the gaps as best as I could but it's a guesstimate so any inaccuracies are totally my fault.
Don't own Garbage's "Happy when it rains" song. No disrespect intended.
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This chapter kicked my ass. Between social obligations, technical failures and research roadblocks, this chapter took forever to finish and as such I have a sort of love/hate relationship with it. It's kind of an interim chapter before the finish where the shit hits the fan and everyone end up stinking of failure and regrets.
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Chapter 9 -
Military Journal Entry 1 – October 31 Great Lakes Illinois
Completed 5 weeks of Indoctrination and Pre Training after doing another round of PST qualification. An average day there featured an absurd amount of push-ups, sit ups and an excessive focus on cleanliness and learning how to make my bed with military corners. Retook the PST today, did okay. Trainers introduced us to the bell that we'd ring if we wanted to make the pain stop and drop out of SEAL's.
Military Journal Entry 2 – Thursday November 1 2001
Turns out keeping a 'DIARY' while in the army has resulted in me getting a new nickname; DUCK. One of the other recruits made a joke at my expense and threw something `jokingly' at me which I evaded by ducking. By the end of the day the new nickname had spread through the class and it had become my official nickname. It's not the nickname I would have chosen as it is kind of stupid and reminds me of that game Duck, duck, goose. I find myself muttering goose under my breath every time the chant of Duck starts up. Oh well I've been called worse. First Phase started today and it seems like it's going to hurt a lot worse than pre training did.
Military Journal Entry 3 – Monday 26th November 2001 – DAY 1 of HELL WEEK – San Diego California
FUCK. FUCK. FUCK.
First day of HELL WEEK and it's already living up to its name. I lagged too much and was forced to be a `sand cookie' as punishment. (Basically had to roll around in the sand while wet, leaving me damp and uncomfortable for hours afterwards) Today consisted of endless hours of running on the sand, swimming, obstacle courses, running 4 miles timed in boots. They're trying to break our bodies. I refuse to ring the bell and quit no matter how much pain I have to endure. I have things I need to accomplish and I will not let anything stand in my way.
Military Journal Entry 4 – Saturday 1st December 2001 - Day 6 of HELL WEEK.
Thank God that's over. Fuck I'm sore all over and I've never wanted to sleep so much in my life. Hakeem won `honor man' as I expected. He's quite the man. He inspired others with his singing while I amused myself by humming Garbage's "I'm only happy when it rains" quietly while doing various water logged activities.
I ended just above the middle of the pack which is the perfect spot for a `grey man'. Hakeem has won some grudging respect from some of his haters for his achievement and yet some refuse to accept that he's a perfect example of perseverance in the face of implacable odds. Sadly for some the color of his skin means more than anything he could possibly achieve. Plus ça change, plus c'est la même chose. (The more things change, the more they stay the same.) People suck. Or at least some prove to be irredeemable assholes.
Military Journal Entry 5 – Sunday December 2nd 2001
Sleep is bliss. After 5 days on only 4 hours of sleep, getting to sleep through the night is euphoric. The last 5 days of training has pushed me to my physical and mental limits. It's hard to imagine now that I used to be so indifferent to sleep. So hard to get out of bed today.
Military Journal Entry 6- Tuesday December 25 2001 – Christmas
OH GOD I'VE FUCKING MISSED CHOCOLATE! Hakeem kept side eyeing me while I shoveled food in my mouth. Didn't help maintain my low profile but fuck it's been so long since I've had something so tasty; I couldn't help myself. I should have done this at Luke's. Fuck it. Hindsight is 20/20.
Military Journal Entry 7 – Saturday December 29th 2001
Phase 1 complete. I've improved my times with the running and swimming. I've also learned how to captain small boats and create hydrographic surveys and charts which is deeply ironic considering.
Military Journal Entry 8 – Wednesday January 9th 2002
Hakeem found out that it was my birthday and managed to get a chocolate cupcake with one of those novelty candles on it. I thanked him for the thought. Told him wasn't big on birthdays. He said "It's your 21st and you have to do something to celebrate, no matter how small."
I looked at him for a long moment and said "I can't do what I really want to do."
He looked away and left with haste. As usual when I talk I fuck things up. I mutter to myself my new mantra "Stay Low, Stay Quiet".
Phase 2 involves more intense physical training but we get to sleep so it's tolerable. Combat Diving is especially challenging.
Military Journal Entry 9 – Saturday February 23rd 2002
Phase 2 complete. Completed open circuit and closed circuit SCUBA, sufficient in combat diving.
Military Journal Entry 10 – Saturday March 23rd 2002
Halfway through Third Phase which is Land Warfare. One of the trainers told me I took to this training like a duck to water which I found deeply hilarious. I had to wait until he had left before I could burst into laughter.
Third phase has us training with weapons, handling and setting military explosives, small unit tactics, patrolling techniques and marksmanship. The only part of third phase that's giving me grief is rappelling and fast rope operations and by the end of next month I should be proficient.
Military Journal Entry 11 – April 29th 2002- Class Graduation
Finished Training on San Clementes Island Coronado. The final exercise was live fire training with explosions and chaos. It felt like homecoming.
We got dressed up in Navy White and received our trident pins (deeply ironic symbol) though we still aren't active SEALs yet. We have to undergo even more training until we can see active duty. Family was allowed to visit to see us `graduate'. Mine attended... Including Mom back from an extended trip away. Austin's back on the scene. Another complication but he's apparently back on the wagon... Hakeem and I congratulated* each other after the ceremony.
Military Journal Entry 12 – May 18th 2002
Finished Parachute School. Exhilarating and terrifying in equal measure, jumping out of functional planes is not for the faint hearted. Now I appreciate why attention to detail is considered so vital to the military. Not noticing something wrong with your equipment or surroundings can get you killed.
Civilian Diary Entry 1 – Chicago – May 24th 2002 –LEAVE
Thank God, I got a new civilian journal for my off base activities so I can finally write about something other than military training and not worry about it leaking out. We have 10 days of leave before SQT (Specialized Qualification Training) starts.
*Post-graduation Hakeem and I ended up walking together. We glanced at each other noticing that we were alone and he kissed me with his soft lips and I groped his hard bulge. Soft lips, hard cock, utter perfection. I got on my knees and fished out his hard cock which was an impressive 9 inches of solid man meat. I kissed his purplish head and took his length down my throat missing the feel of a cock filling me up. He moaned low and deep in his throat but quietly due to our situation. The sordidness and the danger of getting caught out excited me more. I fished out my own 10 inch cock, stroking it while I bobbed up and down on his hard cock; he reached for my cock greedily. It didn't take us long before we were both on the hard ground 69'ing each other in our navy whites lost in our lust and pleasure. I came too fast, too stimulated to hold back and I blew a huge load down his throat and he reciprocated shortly after by shooting his spunk down mine. So hot and creamy.
Afterwards was awkward as we had both soiled our dress whites and needed to change clothes immediately before we were caught out and disciplined. We kissed briefly but deeply before we separated (his lips tasted of me).
From then on shower time got even more sexually frustrating for me. After all the training my SEAL brothers are all hard muscle and perfection (though some of the faces are sub par); it is torturous trying to restrain the urge to do more than sneak a glance at their firm muscular buttocks and the occasional stiff cock on display. Having 69'd with Hakeem made restraining myself so much harder, all I could picture was him driving his hard cock into me over and over again. In my mouth, in my ass, I wanted to feel his smooth caramel skin and the muscular body beneath as I rode him and kissed him. I woke up with a stiff cock for weeks after our tryst, having the most intense dreams about him, some sweet and some utterly sordid.
Hakeem invited me to stay with him for the duration of our leave and so far we've done very little the last few days but stay indoors and fuck like rabbits. Hakeem happens to be versatile which is fantastic. At the moment we're taking turns on who gets to be on top and who takes it. When he fucks me, he fucks me hard and fast with his 9 inch caramel cock while pinning me beneath his weight so I can't move much. I told him I like it rough when I bottom and he's happy to oblige. He even talks dirty to me. He calls me all sorts of names during fucking and says some fucking nasty stuff. I love it. He calls me his bitch, his slut boy, he asks me if I like his big black cock in my hole, he spanks my ass, pulls my hair, bites me and fucks me brutally.
When I fuck him, I like to take my time, tease his hole with my 10 inch Irish cock and make him beg for it. I like to fuck him missionary, looking at his beautiful brown eyes as I deep dick him. Sometimes when I'm feeling lazy and or sore I cuddle fuck him in the spoon position. I call it sporking. He finds it funny how I tend to give things random names. I like how solid and steadfast he is, he reminds me of Scott, except obviously less uptight. Due to our mix of celibacy and military mandated blood tests we've been able to fuck each other raw without worries of diseases. The first day we spent together alone with no one to interrupt, we just kept going at it like sex crazed teenagers. Both our holes were gaping and leaking each other's cum by the time we were too sore to fuck any more.
I think I'm in love. It feels different than what I had with Luke. Probably helps that the sex is reciprocated and he seems to like me.
Hakeem is currently sleeping but I'm so fucking horny now thinking of him on top of me with me begging him to pound me harder...
We've gotten a few invites from members of our graduating class about joining them for one thing or another but we've made our excuses so we can continue being naked and nasty with each other. We will have to join them at some point to maintain the lie. It does not pay to make waves. sigh Story of my fucking life.
Military Journal Entry 13 – September 19th 2002 – Kodiak Alaska
Cold training. SQT continues on and on. This seemed like a much better idea last year. The cold isn't an issue for me, I'm good at shutting out my awareness of the cold when I focus my mind on something more important but snow is a sneaky bitch and I end up with ice cold water in my boots at the end of the day.
Secret Diary Entry 1 - Friday May 23 2003 – LEAVE – Trinidad Washington
SQT is over for the moment. I have Leave for 30 days. Hakeem is due to be on leave in a couple of weeks. We're still together. Sort of. For the last 6 months as I trained to be the part time field Medic for my unit we haven't had much alone time together and it's been difficult as I have had other offers. We've had a few fast and frantic fucking quickies in secret. It's complicated. I don't know. It's a bit of a mess.
Change of topic. It's been bloody forever since I last wrote anything real about life. SQT has been kicking my ass and this life I'm leading is one lie buried beneath another... It's exhausting.
I'm going to have to bury this journal so that Hakeem doesn't accidentally find it when he visits in a couple of weeks.
I got in contact with my former friends via another burner phone. It seems that they've continued on with their lives without me with little disruption which isn't that surprising considering. Austin did manage to escape SHIELD custody and has set up in Avalon. I asked Sean why they haven't done anything about it. He told me that Austin has had telepathic counselling from him and Xavier while he was in custody and a couple of times afterward and that he's stabilized. I'm tempted to go visit Austin and find out for myself but I still have the scars from the last time I saw him and I'm not sure I'd survive another confrontation with him.
Honestly I've become... anxious ? wary? of spending time around any mutants or super powered people.
I called Luke and he offered to let me stay at his and catch up with the others and I just kind of closed up at the thought of being around them. I told him I had other plans and he seemed disappointed but didn't push.
I'm not sure what's wrong with me. After spending nearly 2 years pretending to be a normal human, immersed in human experience I finally can understand why humans are so afraid of mutants/mutates/ etc. and while some of it has rubbed off on me, it's not that exactly. I don't think its fear of them that's holding me back from interacting with my old life as much as it is that I'm worried that seeing them will bring up all the old memories and remind me of the thing I was turning into before the mutant devastation stopped it dead.
My fake family is doing fine without me, Justin's moved onto University, JJ is progressing through Oxford, Jason's construction business is doing well, and expanding its influence and Jackie has moved to New York and provides part time healing service for Misty's clients in Washington. Jake is touring the Middle East providing security services and desalination for a fee. Jacob is still MIA? The 'golem collective' is mostly in Antarctica in their own city with some working for Jason.
My real family remains where I left them for the most part, except that my sister has moved to New York with her partner and they have a baby now. I'm an uncle. I can't see any of them. I'm wearing the wrong face. It's too messy and if I visit them I might expose the lies of my life.
While I'm in the army I pretend to be a straight guy who was the odd one out with no powers in an all mutant family.
While I'm with Hakeem I pretend to be just another closet case with no ridiculous backstory of murder and chaos and total fuckery.
While I was with my own family I pretended not to be a mutant or gay.
sigh
It's a good thing I'm so experienced at compartmentalizing all my thoughts and feelings. The truth would ruin this new life I'm trying to build. This new chance I've been given to begin again as someone without the responsibility of maintaining perfect control over their emotions so as not to slip up and accidentally freeze an ocean. I want to be human, to feel the highs and lows of life, to touch, to taste, to smell, to hunger and to love without the fear of tearing down the world with a slip up.
My headaches are lasting longer and hurting more. I'm guessing this is an after effect of mutant life. I can't seem to escape my old life completely no matter how hard I try and run. I will endure. I'm not sure what other choice I have.
On the upside I am really enjoying being somewhere that appreciates someone who wants to learn. I've been trying to learn everything I can during SQT to make up for all the knowledge I lost when my mental archive became inaccessible. It's a shame that despite not having any powers, I still feel like I have to be on guard all the time to keep track of all the lies I've told to maintain this new identity.
Civilian Diary Entry 3 – June 7th 2003
Hakeem arrived and we practically tore each other's clothes off in a frenzy of lust. After hours of sweaty sex (with him mostly on top, thrusting away over and over again inside me), we got around to eating dinner.
Military Journal Entry 14 - First mission – September 7 2003
Protection mission in undisclosable location in Africa to protect a weapons depot. Total balls up. We got shot at by the Ultron Bot and 2 members of my unit suffered fatal injuries. There was nothing I could do to help them. They were riddled with holes. I got hit as well but I managed to patch up my own bullet wounds before passing out from the pain/blood loss.
Our unit managed to shoot down the thieving Ultron Bot. The Army techs took it away to study it for weaknesses. From my hospital bed I suggested they should electrify the weapons depot with a charge that would disrupt any other bots from taking the weapons. No idea if they did it. Morphine is fantastic at numbing the pain and opening the mind.
Military Journal Entry 15 - Military funeral – Tuesday September 20th 2003
Depressing event. Jimmy and Daniel got a 21 gun salute and a nice folded flag and that was it. Lives over.
Civilian Diary Entry 4 – January 9th 2004
My birthday. Hakeem throws me a party, despite my insistence that I don't like birthday parties. Suffice to say it didn't go well.
Our relationship does best in the dark away from those that disapprove, which is a depressingly high number of people. There are those in his family/community that dislike our relationship because my whiteness reminds them of present racial turmoil and the terrible things that happened in the past. There are those in the military who refuse to even acknowledge our sexuality because of deluded notions of machismo and morale. Sad to say there are a lot of people who don't like us because they are racists or homophobes or both. Then there are those in the gay community who think he or I could do better and they think they are the better option much to our mutual frustration. The constant attention from others is a temptation that is a strain on our relationship with the long times apart, secrecy and the constant danger of our situations.
On the upside there was chocolate cake and it was delicious.
Military Journal – March 24 2004
Secret Covert mission to Latveria to retrieve one of Victor Von Doom's Doom bots was an Unqualified Success. We had an assist from the Fantastic Four who helped us to bait the trap and SHIELD that provided us with some high tech weapons that allowed us to capture one to bring back to base. I have a theory they may be trying to incorporate Victor Von Doom's tech with the Ultron Bot they captured. Victor Von Doom has one of those names that scream super villain.
Civilian diary – Final Entry - Wednesday June 23 2004 Chicago - LEAVE
Hakeem and I were playing first player shooter games when I got the call from Austin.
As soon as I heard his voice on my cell I knew my life was going to spiral out of my control yet again. Once he told me the situation I knew that I had no real choice but to wade back in the deep dark water of mutant bullshit to help my former friends survive the latest threat. He told me that Abraxas and Nightcrawler would be over in an hour. I asked him how he knew where I was and he told me that he had become much more powerful in my absence and he could do things I could only dream of. I rolled my eyes and hung up on him. Stomping on my cell to vent some of my frustration.
Hakeem turned to me and asked what was wrong. Instead of answering I kissed him with all the emotion I couldn't express and he responded to the need in my kisses. We tugged off each other's clothes with the ease of much practice and I clung to him as if I was drowning and he was my life preserver. Even as I fucked him, looking into his beautiful brown eyes and kissing him hard, I had a terrible foreboding that this would be our last time together. I fucked him harder and harder, taking comfort in his every moan and his legs wrapped around my waist urging me on. I came hard thrusting into him, his name on my lips as I emptied myself into him.
I pulled out of him and told him to fuck me as if there was no tomorrow. He looked at me concerned but didn't question me. He kissed me hard before pushing me face down onto the couch, the game controllers knocked to the floor as he entered me hard. He had his forearm pressed against my throat as he fucked me with his full strength, pounding my ass without mercy. He kissed my mouth hard, left hickeys on my neck, nibbled my ear. He must have thought that one or both of us had been found out and were going to be discharged from the army because he fucked me like there was no tomorrow with his eyes tear bright with unshed tears. "Fuck baby I'm going to cum, Want it?" he whisper asked rhetorically in my ears as his cock pistoned back and forth in my hole stimulating my prostate like a stud.
"Yes give it to me, stud. I want you to breed me. Make me your bitch forever."
"Fuck yes!" he cried out as his cock throbbed within me and his cum filled me up inside. I blew too, spraying my cum on the couch cushions, moaning as my insides clamped around his cock as my orgasm hit my brain, making me stupid and sleepy. We lay there for a couple of quiet minutes, breathing heavily, his hard cock inside me, his weight comforting on top of me.
"I love you." I said and it sounded like goodbye.
"What's wrong?"
Abraxas and Nightcrawler chose that moment to appear in Hakeem's living room in a puff of purple smoke. Hakeem fell off me and scrambled to grab the gun hidden beneath the couch.
"Don't. They've come for me." I said as I stood, getting dressed quickly and solemnly with tears dripping down my face, making my vision swim as I confessed "I was a former mutant and they've come to bring me back into the fold."
Hakeem's eyes were wild as he pointed the gun at Nightcrawler and Abraxas and looked at me with betrayal etched on his face.
Nightcrawler made a gesture and the gun in Hakeem's hand disappeared in a puff of purple smoke and appeared in his. "We must go now." His accent is so strong that it took a second for me to process what he said and done.
Before I could even say goodbye. Abraxas and Nightcrawler teleported to either side of me and we were teleport- hopping back to Avalon. My new life was over and it appeared that I was going to have to deal with the mutant life I had discarded whether I wanted to or not and without my shoes.
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Next chapter Broadcast/Austin and Victor have another confrontation which leaves them both forever changed. Victor finds out the reason behind the headaches and he has to face his inner demons. I'm thinking of closing up the action with chapter 10 followed by another chapter which will be an epilogue to finish up Book 3. We shall see how it goes I suppose. May make it 3 small chapters followed by an epilogue.