Disclaimer: This story is about men having sex with men. If you are not into such activities, or your universe, galaxy, solar system, planet, country, state or province, county, township, city, town, village, or ANY OTHER governing body, or YOUR MAMA says you shouldn't read it (OR YOU'LL TURN INTO WOOD!!!), or you're either too old or too young to read it, or you haven't learned to read yet, BEGONE!
The author has no knowledge of Dick Van Dyke's sexuality, and means to imply no actual knowledge thereof. The story is fictional in its entirety. The author only WISHES that such an encounter with Mr. Van Dyke could have taken place back in the '50s (when the author had JUST learned how delicious his little friend's little pud was). If Mr. Van Dyke happens to be reading this, the author would like for him to know that he STILL would not be kicked out of bed for eating crackers.
Most written material, if it has any up-front, pre-subject matter inform- ation at all, has a PREFACE. Given the nature of this story, I have unilaterally decided that it needs a
PREPUCE: Hi. This is my first submission of a story anywhere. The writing of it took place through an exchange I had with an unusual young man during an online PalTalk session. Since he did not want to appear in the credits, I have changed his PalTalk nick to "NameChanged". I'm including an edited version of the first part of our PalTalk exchange as a way of explaining how the story comes about, especially the foot fetish aspect of it, which doesn't really interest me. Please see APPENDAGE A if you really care enough about the story to want to know the particulars. Those details are really not all that interesting, even to me.
So, without further adieu, on to...
VanDyke's Dick
by Jack Knoph (Jack kuhNOFF)
I was walking along the beach one day, not really thinking much about what I might be doing, just kind of ambling along aimlessly. It was kind of early, around 6:45 AM, and so far I hadn't seen anyone else about.
As I walked around a big rock, I heard the sharp hiss of a zipper being hastily pulled up. I looked at the zipper's owner curiously, and almost fell off of my feet... it was Dick Van Dyke, dressed more casually than he usually did for the Rob Petrie character.
I was momentarily tongue-tied. But then Dick gave me a grin that made me feel like I was melting into a puddle.
"Hi" he said.
"hhh... Huh... Hello" was all I could manage at first.
Dick said, "Well, you almost caught me taking a whiz."
I looked down at the obviously dry sand, then at the bulge in his crotch. By now, I had somewhat regained my composure.
"Sure" I said with a grin. "Were you taking one of those thick, sticky white whizzes?"
Dick's grin turned sheepish.
"Y'know, I know a better way to relieve the condition known as 'high ball pressure'," I told him.
His grin broadened. "If I did that with you, would you feel like you just HAD to report it to the National Enquirer?" he asked.
"No WAY," I said, "I can't have my wife finding out about it, so you'd be perfectly safe with me."
"Where could we go to 'do it'?" he asked.
"Well, I just happened to drive here in my motor home, and it's parked about a half a mile back down that way" I said, pointing behind me. I turned, and he fell in beside me. We chatted about fairly mundane things as we strolled back the way I'd come, mostly what it was like doing a television show like his, etc. I asked a lot of questions, and even hinted that I'd like a small part, but he laughed and said that was all handled by casting.
When we reached my motor home, I unlocked the door and gestured for him to go in first. I offered him a seat on the couch, and poured each of us a glass of orange juice. Then I sat down next to him so that our bodies touched at the shoulders, hips, and along the thighs. I reached my arm up and put it around his shoulders. Dick blushed and flexed his body, which had the effect of settling us a little closer to each other.
"This couch sags in the middle," I explained.
Now I finally took time to notice more details about how Dick was dressed. He had on a loose fitting short-sleeved shirt, baggy shorts, and leather sandals with no socks. The shorts were loose enough that they hid the shape of his manhood, but were bunched up in a way that indicated that there was a good mouthful under them.
"Are you comfortable?" I asked.
"Well, except for a slight cramp in my crotch, I'm fine" he said.
"Well, we'd better just see what we can do about that" I told him, and reached down to unbuckle his belt.
Once the belt and other fastenings were loosened, Dick lifted his body off of the couch so I could slide his shorts off.
Much to my surprise, Dick had a pair of bright blue bikini briefs on under the shorts. Inside the briefs, I could see a respectable amount of manflesh straining to be freed. I forced myself to take my time getting down to business and began slowly unbuttoning his shirt with my teeth. By the time I'd gotten to the fourth button, his smooth chest and hairy nipples were beginning to expose themselves, so I took a moment to go give each fifty-cent sized dark brown circle enough of a suck to get it rock hard. Then I proceeded to the last three buttons.
Now Dick's smooth chest and flat abs were exposed to me, and I joyfully licked and kissed all over that wonderful playground. After four or five minutes, Dick moaned, "Please take off my briefs, they're killing me."
I reached down to the floor where Dick's shorts were bunched around his ankles, removing them, but leaving the sandals on his feet. The act of doing this put my face about 10 inches away from his crotch, where the bulge was somewhat more pronounced by this time.
I moved my face closer to him and took a deep sniff of his manscent. I kept moving closer and closer until my nose and lips were brushing the shiny fabric of the silky spandex bikini briefs. I rubbed my face along the length of his cock, and pushed my nose into the softness of his ballsac inside the briefs, continuing to deeply inhale the heady aroma.
"Lift up" I said, and as he complied, I quickly slipped the briefs over his rock hard cock and slid them down to his ankles. His freed cock snapped to attention and slapped against his flat stomach, spraying several droplets of precum in a line that extended up past his nipples, almost to his throat. Tossing the briefs into a corner, I moved up and began licking the little puddles of slightly salty fluid, starting with the biggest one next to his left nipple. I worked my way up and down his chest and abs, and as I did, his cock softened slightly, just enough to let it begin to hang forward.
As it happened, Dick was another guy like me, who, as his cock went soft, began producing copious amounts of precum, which literally flowed in a stream from his softening cock, dripping large amounts onto his legs, feet, and the sandals he was wearing. After I got his neck, chest, nipples and abs cleaned up, I began working my way down to clean up his lower extremities, starting with a slow lick at the five inch long strand of precum hanging from his gorgeous penis. I was careful not to actually touch his cock with my tongue in the process, wanting to save that taste sensation for later.
I licked away the long string of precum that ran down his inner right calf, then the slightly smaller one on the left. Then I took care of his ankles.
Next, I began licking the wet blobs on his sandals, which, being made of leather, had absorbed some of the precum, and spots had formed.
"Oh, dear" I said, "I'm afraid these sandals might be ruined."
"Don't worry about it" Dick replied. "They're just about worn out anyway."
After cleaning the precum spots off of the sandals as much as I could, I removed them and set them in a corner. Then I went back and started licking the precum off of Dick's feet. His cock was still dripping precum, and I had to keep licking his insteps and toes as fresh blobs appeared.
Dick giggled as I slid my tongue between his toes and wiggled it.
"That tickles!" he shouted, trying to pull away.
I kept swirling my tongue around his toes, sucking on them individually, and in groups of two and three. Dick was writhing on the couch, and finally forcefully lifted me away from his feet.
"STOP!" he yelled.
"I'm sorry," he continued in a quieter voice, "I really can't stand it."
"Sorry" I mumbled. "I just couldn't help myself, Dick. You have the most perfectly suckable toes I've ever tasted."
Dick grinned. "Well, I like it a little bit, but I can't take it for very long periods of time, so when you do it again, please stop for a little while when I ask, ok?"
"Ok" I agreed.
I looked at his cock, which by now was totally limp. It was nestled in a moderately thick patch of pubic hair, and had shrunk to a surprising half-inch nub.
"WOW!!!" I exclaimed, much surprised. "Your cock hides away just like mine does, Dick."
"Yeah, not much there when it's not hard, but it grows to ten times its size or better."
I leaned in and sniffed at his peter. Mmmmmm... it had such a sweet smell. Even though he was circumcised, Dick's glans retracted into his body, just like mine does, so it appeared as if he were uncut. I gave the rim of folded over skin which completely covered his glans several gentle flicks with my tongue, being careful not to go inside to the sheathed helmet.
Dick shuddered and inhaled sharply through his teeth. Encouraged, I flat- tened my tongue and slid it around the entire tip of the faux foreskin.
Dick moaned and flexed his crotch into my face. I opened my mouth wide enough to take the entire shrunken pecker into it, still not exposing any of the covered glans. Closing my mouth and sucking carefully with my tongue held tightly to the roof of my mouth, I sucked on the pseudo prepuce. With a sudden lunge, and a gush of precum, the swelling shaft forced the glans out of hiding and into my hot wet mouth. The moment was electric, as I tasted Dick's sweet cockhead for the first time.
Dick's continual moans turned into groans of pleasure.
I began to lave and lick Dick's pulsating penis, which quickly extended itself to its full length. In seconds my mouth was full of throbbing cock. The bulbous mushroom head stroked the back of my throat, brushing against my uvula. I began swallowing rapidly to avoid gagging.
"OOOOOOOoooooooohh!!!" Dick sighed.
Dick suddenly raised his legs. His bare feet lifted and rested on my shoulders. I released his cock and turned my head to suck on his left toes.
Starting with the little toe, I sucked each one ultimately reaching his big toe. I had never heard of this before, but Dick's left big toe was his most sensitive erogenous zone. Having stimulated his penis for less than a minute, as I sucked on his left big toe, Dick's rigid cock began gushing huge globs of cum. The first salvo squirted out with such force that it hit the picture mounted on the wall two feet above his head. The next jet plastered Dick's face, getting in his mouth and up his nose.
All in all, eleven spurts of jizz gushed out of Dick's by now deep purple cockhead. As he lay there totally spent, I managed to suck the last three or four squirts directly out of his temporarily gaping slit. After the flow had completely subsided, I began working my way up his body, licking up the puddles and pools of sticky cum.
When I got to Dick's face, he suddenly came to, grabbed me and kissed me deeply. We cuddled for a few minutes, and then, typical of just about ALL men, he stood up and began donning his shorts and shirt. When he was fully dressed, he walked to the door to leave, saying "Well, I'd love to do this again sometime, what's your phone number?"
I wrote it down and handed it to him. Putting the paper into his wallet, he stepped outside and into his convertible, which was parked four feet away from my door.
He hasn't called me yet, but it's only been a couple weeks, but I still have his sandals and briefs. I couldn't begin to tell you how many times I've jacked off with those sandals either on my feet or wrapped around my cock in some fashion. The shorts are usually on my face with the crotch area over my nose.
I never WILL clean the stain off of that picture.
Personal for Dick: We talked about the Nifty website, and I'm posting this there. If you see it, please find that piece of paper and call, ok?
THE END
If you enjoyed my story, please emale me and let me know. I even find flames amusing, so nothing that anyone writes will go unread, unappreciated, or un- answered.
jack_knoph@hotmail.com
APPENDAGE A:
Please note that although one of my PalTalk nicks is RobPetrie90210, my author name here at nifty.org is, and will remain, Jack Knoph. And, as this paragraph implies, I hope to submit more stories, when time and whimsy permit.
NameChanged: hi RobPetrie90210: hello NameChanged: are you the Rob Petrie? RobPetrie90210: nope, just always fantasized about sucking him off while
Laura watched NameChanged: you wanted to suck Dick Van Dyke off? RobPetrie90210: yes, but more as the Rob Petrie character than the actor
himself NameChanged: can you be The Rob Petrie for me? RobPetrie90210: I can try, but I haven't seen the re-runs for a long time NameChanged: do u have a cam Rob? RobPetrie90210: yes, cam me NameChanged: can i see your face RobPetrie90210: nope NameChanged: your feet? RobPetrie90210: do you have a foot fetish? I have another friend here who
does NameChanged: i like feet. can i see yours? RobPetrie90210: ok. 8 & a half's my size, but 9 & a half's so comfortable
that I buy a 10 & a half NameChanged: Rob tell me your age again RobPetrie90210: tell me yours first NameChanged: 25 RobPetrie90210: i'm old enough to sleep alone but too old to want to NameChanged: i really must see if you look like Dick Van Dyke RobPetrie90210: i don't look ANYTHING like him NameChanged: let me see for myself please RobPetrie90210: i won't show my face until i can see yours, sorry, that's my
policy NameChanged: do u own a pair of sandals RobPetrie90210: a couple NameChanged: can i see the two RobPetrie90210: here's one pair, I can't get to others right now NameChanged: why RobPetrie90210: (I ignored the question) RobPetrie90210: where are you from? NameChanged: i live in Utah, you? RobPetrie90210: Washington state NameChanged: would you really have sex with Dick Van Dyke? RobPetrie90210: i'd like to have sucked him off when he was younger. it was
really the Rob Petrie character i was in love with, though NameChanged: can you tell me a story of you sucking him off? RobPetrie90210: sure NameChanged: tell me your name RobPetrie90210: Jack NameChanged: (name removed) RobPetrie90210: pleased to meat you, (name removed) NameChanged: can you make it so Dick Van Dyke has sandals too? RobPetrie90210: ok NameChanged: can i watch your feet while u tell the story
There was a lot more dialog, but I think you probably have the drift by now, so I wont bore you any more. If you actually read this appendage, and happened to notice any glaring misspellings, grammatical errors, or other trivia, please don't bother mentioning them to me, as I wasn't interested enough in this portion of the document to trouble myself with proofreading it.
JK