Some guys my age will know what I am saying when I mention about loneliness and what it can do to a guy.
In my case losing my wife after 30 years of marriage was a real shock and I felt then I could never find another like her.
And anyway I did not want the commitment of another deep relationship.
But to be frank the sexual urge was still there and I had to live with it for nigh on seven years because during that time my wife had developed cancer which meant that her sex drive was virtually gone, it had never ever occurred to me about linking up with another guy but then I had never had reason to explore my sexual leanings; having been quite happy with my wife until the illness set in.
But since I was being both logical and practical in coming to the conclusion that a male sexual relationship would not incur too much commitment if it was arranged on a strictly casual and mutual basis, perhaps someone of my own disposition, who like me missed the pleasure of sex and the like..
I took to sitting in the local park thinking that maybe another guy would join me and we might get talking which would go onto other things and ... well you know how it is..
My fantasies were beginning to run away with me, how it would be with another guy and wishing it would be soon. I certainly didn't fancy hanging around the gents toilets and I could not imagine myself as being a `toilet basher' if you know what I mean.
I wanted sex but I also wanted some sort of companionship not just a quickie in a toilet cubicle and taking a risk of being caught with my trousers down.
But they say patience is a virtue and one day, with the help of the Utopia chat room online, I was able at last to arrange a meeting with a guy ten years younger called Ron who actually turned up. Not like a dozen others who said they would and didn't. How infuriating is that. But talking about it to Ron he replied that they were of no use anyway and weren't worth bothering about.
He was a nice guy and we soon got on very well. I introduced myself as Pete and pout my cards on the table, so if he wanted to opt out he could. But happily he told me he had often wondered how it would be with another guy, a guy who understood and was not about dump him after a first encounter.
"Shall we try then Ron?" I asked having chatted with him for about an hour on the park bench about our life and where we were right now, he was widowed too but for a different reason, his Mrs being killed in a car accident.
It is difficult to explain just how I felt that first time I took Ron home to my place. Just the feeling of that first time we ventured to explore our inner feelings with each other, just standing there facing each other. Looking into each others eyes was magic and I felt a certain kind of enchantment I could never have understood before. Funny thing it turned out we both had similar expectations of each other and he said he fantasised too. Telling me he had dreamed of how it would be touching another guy, that he had never done that before.
"And doesn't it feel so good that at last we have met on a mutual understanding and we can both cherish the experience together, for neither have I touched another guy, so I guess we ought to do something about it?" I said feeling my groin start to throb.
It seemed right, with me being the host I should let my trousers down first, in such a way to make it really thrilling and meaningful. Looking into Ron's eyes they were all of a sparkle as I did so and having dropped my trousers to my knees I asked him if he'd like me to go further.
He simply looked up as me and then down again helping me down with my boxer shorts. Then he did the same and there were;, facing each other with half mast erections still feeling a little unsure of the other's reaction.
But I had to go for it I really did, all my fantasies were coming true and there I was at last, having the opportunity to touch Ron there and how good it was. Certainly you can't compare it with touching your own and gently massaging it in my right hand I enjoyed the feel of it, the way it soon started to grow and stiffen, so warm and flexible too.
"That is so nice, Pete" Ron said with his eyes half closed, the look of absolute ecstasy on his face as he felt me too, it felt lovely - having been without for so long, it was all coming back to me how my sweet late wife enjoyed touching and sucking me before we made ecstatic love, but this was different and the thrill of the new venture made it so special for both of us as we ventured into wanking each other, teasing each other, stretching back, cradling balls and eventually feeling his fingers find my ass.
"Can I suck you now, Pete" he asked so sweetly and I closed my eyes as I said yes and waited for that first feeling of being sucked by another guy, knowing that it would all lead to my sucking him and the thought of that was so absolutely thrilling and magic, I longed for that now as I felt him rough suck my cock for all he was worth and it didn't take long for me to move into position so we could simply enjoy a very deep wanking cock suck of each other, his cock tasting so wonderfully earthy and pungent and we must have both lost control of ourselves in a lusty frenzy as we sucked each other until we both cum strong. I had a mouthful of his cream and he milked mime to shoot over his face, feeling him still licking my p-hole afterwards which was so very sensitive and warming.
We both lay there afterwards exhausted , we both agreed it was so very good and Ron told me he loved the taste and scent of my cock, taking another swill of it like he couldn't resist making me hard again to my surprise, because I thought I was satisfied, but with Ron it was like I was learning all over again and I longed for the feel of him explore my ass and between, like it was the most natural follow on after that which we had done.
We talked a while about it, he said he would love to if that was fine with me/ "More than fine" I said, "I want that ver6y much.
"You have a lovely ass to be sure, I really would like to go further Pate." "Then be my guest I shall be what you want me to be."
And I was, Ron said he would like to see me in a tight skirt like his wife wore, it would bring back so many happy memories, if that was alright, he said.
"But Won't be able to hide the fact that I am male" I replied laughingly
He showed me how he did it, hiding my cock and balls in a sort of sling fastened up with elastic against my tummy as I bend over on all fours, displaying my `pussy' substitute between my cheeks, he was well happy with that and I enjoyed the most elaborate and gentle slow spoiling, feeling his tongue an d fingers stretching my ass cheeks wide. And then the simply wonderful and sexual feeing of his tongue piercing my hole, sucking and licking and murmuring I guess how he used to with his wife, just how sweet like honey my pussy was and soon I would feel his fuck inside.
"I want that!" I yelled prompting hi to take me, grasping his lovely thick girth and pulling it's head towards my hole, already feeling the urge to be well and truly ass fucked by this wonderful guy. Then he fucked me, it was so divine that first time, the way he did it like he was a natural, to think it was his first time too, it was simply lovely as he worked it into me, hearing his moans as he started to slow thrust it into me, hearing the wonderful noised of cock fucking asshole as we both submerged into a perfect fuck.
That first time with Ron set a precedence for lots and lots more, we were to have loads of role play session too and with Ron it was always different, fresh and new.