Dear Readers,
How are you? The weather is so hot here. It's 100 degrees today and I'm taking a break. I've just finished this chapter and was wondering if I could ask for your help in writing a letter to Zion.
You see, he's feeling kind of down and I was hoping that you could help cheer him up with your letters. I'm sure he'll be glad to receive some mail. And, who knows, maybe Zion would even let me post one in each chapter. I'll let him select whichever he would like to share with you all out there. So please write soon.
You can send your letters to him via my email at fantasy_eric@hotmail.com and I'll make sure to pass it along to him. So don't wait, he's looking forward to hearing from you all!
Your friend
Eric
Chapter 2: The Ocean-Like Forest
When Justin and I walked into the apartment, we heard some noise coming out from Leo's room.
"Oh yeah! That's so great! Oh Leo!" we heard someone yelling from Leo's room and more moans followed. What a great way to greet your brother, Leo, I thought. My face was read from the embarrassment. I turned to apologize and could see Justin with a bitter smile on his face.
"Hum...hahaha," I couldn't help laughing. Both of us were standing in the middle of the living room with me there laughing myself silly.
"Can I visit your room?" Justin asked.
"Hahaha..sure..hehehe.." I answered intelligently.
I led him towards my room and opened the door. He entered and walked around, taking in the room. As his eyes lingered on a big stuffed toy on my bed, my face chose to blush from embarrassment. Why I was so easily embarrassed today?
"It's cute! I love Winnie the Pooh too!" He hugged my Pooh. "It's so large! And so soft too! You sleep with it every night?"
I sat down on the bed and said, "Yeah. I was scared of the darkness when I was little. So my brother slept with me every night. When I grew up, I wasn't scared of the darkness anymore. But I still slept with my brother until 3 years ago, when he came over here for his studies. Before he left me though, he bought me this Pooh. I think he knew that I can't sleep alone. Does that sound weird?"
"No, I think it's cute. Everyone has a hidden side and yours is cute."
I laughed. I didn't think "cute" is a right word to describe the situation. I don't know why, but I rarely told people how I felt. However, I instantly felt close to Justin and opening myself up to him felt like the natural thing to do. He was a little naive, but I felt that he could be trusted. That was my feeling at that moment. After few years, he proved me right time and again.
"Oh! I forgot to ask for your name," he smiled apologetically.
"It's Zion."
"Hi! I am Justin, I think I've told you that before. Or did I? Hehe...I am 18 and will be a university freshman this coming September."
"Really? Me too! So when is your birthday..."
And we kept talking to each other. Soon I was telling him more and more. I told him what had happened to Zak. And he listened seriously. When I told him that Zak had passed away, he was so sad that he cried. So I changed the subject to something lighter and managed to cheer him up. He was a lovely kid. You see, although he was only 3 months younger than me, he still acted a little like a kid. In the end, I found that I'd told him the story of my life and that he'd told me his. We both smiled with the knowledge that the sharing of our stories had brought us much closer together, and a bond of some sort was starting to form between us.
"Which faculty are you going to be in?" he asked.
"I am majoring in Music."
"That's great! Our campus' music faculty is very famous."
"I don't know. I enrolled only because my brother was studying here. I'd planned on joining him here. What about you?"
"Me, I am majoring in Business. Since you are into music, what instrument do you play?"
"I can play the piano, guitar, violin, flute and drum. I know a little bit of harp too."
"Wow, you are quite talented."
"Not really. Besides music, I don't really know much. And I have nothing..."
"Zion..."
"Sorry, I didn't mean to upset you. I am fine."
"Hmm..." I suppose Justin didn't know what to say.
"Oh, have I introduced Bach to you?"
"Bach?"
I pulled him to my desk. My little bird was hopping about in his little space on my desk. I'd put some newspaper over the right side of my desk and made some small railings around the perimeter. There was a bowl of water sitting in one corner. Other than that, it was open.
"He's Bach," I said.
"Hi, Bach," Justin said. Then he asked me, "Why didn't he fly away?"
"I don't know. I checked his wings and they're fine. My uncle said that maybe he was in the cage for so long that he'd forgotten how to fly, or maybe no one had taught him how to fly before; he grew up in a cage. And he is also mute. No one wanted him so I took him.
Justin kept nodding his head. "Maybe he didn't want to leave you."
"Maybe." I touched Bach's back and he just stared back at me.
We kept talking well into the night. We talked about our family, our old life, and the school. We fell asleep on my bed after the long chat. It had been a long time since I'd slept with another person. Pooh was my only companion the last few years. Justin and I ended up hugging each other in our sleep. His body was soft and warm and I felt so safe. Just like my brother's...
The next morning, I was rudely awaken by the sound of the door banging against the wall. Someone had pushed open my door very hard, causing it to swing wide open and hit the wall. I opened my eyes immediately and sat up on the bed. Leo was standing in front of me. He looked very angry.
"What are you doing?!" he was yelling at me.
"Huh?" I was still very sleepy.
"What did you do to my brother?" he yelled at me again.
"Huh? What do you mean?"
"You...you..."
"Oh, hi Leo. Good morning." Justin probably woke up from all the noise and shouting.
"You!" Leo pointed at Justin and said, "Why did you leave home and come here?"
"I didn't leave all of a sudden. Mom told you on the phone last time that I'll be coming to study here. Did you forget?"
"Huh? Then at least you should have told me when you'll be arriving!"
"I did. I told you last week on the phone and you said no problem."
"Oh? Err...oh yeah. I forgot..."
"Right. And I was standing in front outside for god-knows-how-long, pressing the bell but nobody answered the door. I guess you were tied up having fun, huh? Some brother you are. I'd be sleeping outside if Zion hadn't let me in. And another thing..."
"Ok..ok.. I'm sorry, but you shouldn't have slept with the first person you meet. You're too easy!" Leo was pointing at me.
"I am not a little boy anymore, brother, and we didn't do anything. Get your mind out of the gutter. If it weren't for Zion, I could have been mugged sleeping outside waiting for you and you wouldn't even know it."
From the conversation between the two brothers, I found out one thing. Justin was a nice boy and he wasn't that naive as I'd first thought. I also get the feeling that Leo was afraid of his brother. Hmm...I wonder why.
That day, I went out with Justin. We were having fun. Already, he was becoming a good buddy and friend. I never thought I'd find one so fast. He was nice to everyone except his brother. The relationship between them was kind of weird.
I didn't want Justin to sleep on the sofa so I suggested sharing my room with him. I didn't know why I did that. Maybe I felt lonely, or maybe I felt something happening between us. Anyway, he agreed and promptly bought a desk and immediately started moving in after. We shared the bed. I remembered the talk Leo had with Justin regarding that.
"I don't agree, Jus. I am your brother so you should room with me. And we can move into a bigger apartment if this is too small. I'll look out for one. It'll be no time at all before we find a suitable one, you'll see," Leo said.
"Leo, I don't think this is a good idea. Your room is too small for two. Zion's room is much bigger. And even if we find a bigger place, you always have visitors. I wouldn't like to feel unwelcome in my own room."
So Justin ended up moving in with me. We only moved to another place after we graduated. We shared the same room during the 4 years we were in the university. I slept with Justin all this time but nothing happened between us. No love, no sex, only friendship. Every night, we hugged each other tight and slept. The friendship between us was weird but I am proud to call Justin my best even today.
And every night, we talked. Little by little, we filled in each other about our history. I finally found out why Leo was so scared of Justin.
"I walked in on him sleeping with my best friend," Justin explained. "He felt very guilty afterwards and have been trying to make up for it ever since."
Although he only used two sentences, it was enough. I could now understand Leo's deference to his brother. But it also told me that Leo loves his brother very much. I hope Justin realized that too. I think he could sense my thoughts from the next thing he said.
"You are lucky, Zion. You have such a good brother too," I heard Justin saying.
The mention of Zak brought back memories. I got up from the bed and walked in front of the window, enjoying the sound of the wind blowing through the forest. It sounded like sea waves. And I felt a kinship with the sound because my brother perished in the sea.
"Are you not happy, Zion? I am sorry. I should not have mentioned this. I..."
"That's ok, Justin. I am fine. I only miss him a lot."
"He must have loved you very much."
"Yeah, he always looked out for me. He always protected me when I was young. Both of us loved music but he chose to study law because he said that he needed to earn lots of money so that he can support me when I pursue my dream of becoming a musician. He reasoned that not many musicians earned enough to feed themselves so he decided to give up his own dream of becoming a musician, just for me. So I really don't understand why he...he..."
We didn't say anything, we listened to the sound of the leaves rustling. After few minutes...
"Zion?"
"Yeah?"
"Have you ever fallen in love before?"
I was thinking of my ex-boyfriend. He was my first. He'd said that he'd love me forever. Every time he entered me, he said he loved me. But he broke up with me. Everything was a big lie...
"Zion?"
"Yeah, once, but he broke up with me."
Justin didn't say anything. He nodded sympathetically as we kept standing in front of the window. After a while, he was yawning.
"Go to sleep," I told him.
He fell asleep soon after his head hit the pillow. But I couldn't sleep that night. I remembered my ex-boyfriend. I remembered his touches, his caresses. I remembered giving my virginity to him. It was painful and I didn't enjoy that very much but I held on because I loved him. But it didn't take much for him to dump me.
I sobbed quietly. I didn't want to wake Justin up. So I got and walked to the washroom. I sat on one side of the bathtub and told myself to have one last cry for what could have been.
Suddenly I heard someone knocking on the washroom door. I quickly wiped my tears and opened the door. Leo was standing in front of me. As he walked passed me into the washroom, he saw my face. A look of concern crossed his face and he caught my hand.
"Are you ok, Zion?" he asked.
I avoided his eyes and replied shakily, "I am fine."
"Why?" Leo asked suddenly.
"Huh?"
"Why do you have to put up a brave front all the time?"
"I don't know what are talking about."
Leo suddenly grabbed my shoulders and said, "Why are you lying to yourself?"
"I don't know what you mean! Leave me alone!"
"You bloody well know what I meant!" Then he pulled me into his embrace. I could smell his strong manly smell.
"You are just trying to act strong. You didn't cry during Zak's funeral, and you just acted like everything was normal. But every time when I saw your face, I know you are hurting. I can tell. You are not like your brother, so don't try to be like him. Your brother is a strong character but you are not. And that is not necessarily a bad thing. You have made many friend, so let us protect you. At least...let me protect you..."
I looked up and saw a pair of beautiful eyes shining in the darkness. We leaned closer and our lips met. Suddenly the realization of what we were doing hit me and I pushed him away but Leo's held me even tighter. He refused to let me leave his arms.
"Let me go?"
"Please stay?" I could see his eyes pleading with me.
"I can't."
"Why?"
"I just broke up with my boyfriend and I don't want you to catch you on the rebound. If I do this, you will just become a temporary substitute." I looked at him steadily in the eye to let him know that I was serious.
"Don't you like me?"
"I don't know. I am scared."
"Why?"
"Because..."
"Because I have too many 'friends'?"
I nodded.
"How about this. We give each other 3 months. I'll let you think it over and get to know me better. I promise I will not go to bed with anyone during this time."
I thought for a while and nodded.
"Ok..." I whispered. Then our lips met again...
tbc