This is my third story archived on Nifty and I hope you'll enjoy it. If you are under 18 or feel offended by homosexual relationships, please leave. If you are looking for a story to solve your horny problem, this is not one of those, sorry. I'd recommend Bill Drake's stories for that. He's a good writer and his stories are certainly hot enough for that!
The Unfinished Letter
Chapter One: A Silent Bird
A young man was standing at the beach. In front of him, the Pacific Ocean filled the expanse, stretching out far and wide against a backdrop of cloudy sky and tropical rain. The sun was setting and the man was looking at the sun as it slowly submerged in the distant horizon. Gusts of wind blew the rain his way, pelting him with tiny raindrops and blowing his hair around on a dance of its own.
As if welcoming the rain, the man stretched out his arms to embrace the ocean and all of Mother Nature around him. As he closed his eyes, he began to sing. His voice was sweet and beautiful, just like a child's. As the rain washed down on him, it left streaks of tear-like rivulets on his face and body. This time it felt different, but the man welcomed the shower even though his soul didn't feel rejuvenated this time and his spirits did not soar with the wind billowing around him. And his voice rang clear as he sang a children's folk rhyme.
"Tee Aul Aul...May Yoa Hao...Tee Aul Aul...Aul Aul..."
He could not help it. The sadness in his voice was evident throughout but he persevered. There was a sudden lull in the storm as he finished singing. Without any hesitation, the young man dived into the ocean where the billowing waves swallowed him up and he disappeared from view as the rain and howling winds resumed their fury...
My name is Zion and I grew up in my uncle's home. You see, my parents passed away when I was little so my elder brother and I were adopted by my uncle and aunt and they'd been very nice to us. I love them very much, but the one I love most in this world is my brother. 3 years ago, he left for his studies at a university located on the other side of the Pacific Ocean. I'd be joining him there upon reaching 18.
My uncle and aunt had a pet shop on Bird Street, a famous street in Hong Kong. The street is short and there is nothing very spectacular about it except for one thing, that all the shops located there sell birds or bird-related equipment. I grew up in this street and I know everyone here. I spent my childhood here and had many happy memories of this place. Maybe it was because I grew up living with birds around me and I was fascinated by birds, especially by one particular type. I'm not sure what it's called in English but I know it as "Xiang Si" in Chinese. It means lovesickness. The bird has a sweet beautiful voice and can sing very well. Very often, my brother and I were complimented on our singing. We were told that we could sing like a Xiang Si.
In the summer I reached 18 years of age, many things happened. This was an unforgettable summer. It all started one night when I was helping my uncle to close up the shop for the evening...
"Uncle Bo, why doesn't anyone want to buy this Xiang Si?" I asked.
"Ah...you see, this particular bird can't sing. And no one would like to buy a dumb bird," Uncle Bo told me.
"What a poor bird," I thought.
"Can I have it then?" I asked my uncle.
"Sure, it's useless to me anyway. But what would you want a mute bird for?"
"I think it's very pitiful that no one wants it."
Uncle Bo didn't say anything, he only shook his head and smiled as we resumed cleaning up the shop.
I was happy so I started singing, "Tee Aul Aul...May Yoa Hao...Tee Aul Aul...Aul Aul..."
"What song are you singing, Zion? What kind of language is that?"
"I learned that from a pop song, Uncle. It's a Taiwanese Hokkien song."
"What does it say?"
"That the sky is very dark and that it's going to rain. 'Tee' means sky and 'Aul' means black or dark. 'May' is wants to or going to, and 'Yoa Hao' means it's raining."
"Ha ha. It sounds fun."
"Yeah!"
We finally locked up the place and headed for our home, which was the top floor of the shop. When we walked in, we were shocked to find Aunt crying on the sofa.
"Aunt, what happened? Everything will be fine, don't you worry."
My aunt grabbed me very hard and looked at me. She just kept crying and and found it difficult to get her words out. The only word I could make out was Zak.
"What happened to bro, Aunt? Is he fine? Did he have an accident?"
Aunt just kept shaking her head but still couldn't get anything coherent out. So I ran toward the phone while my uncle hugged my aunt to comfort her.
My fingers were shaking as I dialed the number for my brother for the first time. Finally, someone picked up the phone. The voice behind the "Hello?" sounded so tired and sad.
"Hi, sorry to wake you up so early but is Zak there?"
"You are..."
"I am his brother. My name is Zion."
I could hear the guy on the other end take a deep breath before saying, "I'm sorry to tell you this but...your brother just passed away yesterday night."
I couldn't believe my ears. The phone slipped from my hands and dropped onto the floor as I struggled with disbelief. The person who I love most in this world was now forever gone. My legs gave way and I found myself on the floor looking up at the ceiling as tears came out from my eyes...
It was a bright and sunny day and the sun greeted me with its golden rays as I stepped out of the plane. It was so bright that I felt a little dizzy. Maybe it was also because I was still finding it so hard to accept Zak passing away, I realized that this was now a fact and there was nothing I could do to change it. The only thing I could do was to accept it and learn to cope with it. I hadn't slept a wink the entire 13-hour air flight. I couldn't eat anything too. My uncle and aunt were not on the flight with me. They had things to take care of and would only arrive a few days later. I got here first to see to the funeral arrangements.
I had just walked out the airport. There were so many people and it took quite a while to clear Customs. As I stepped out onto the road, a gust of wind hit my face and I had a sudden urge to throw up. I grabbed the door for support as I kneeled down and heaved. Nothing came out except some water. I was in pain, more emotionally than physically.
"Are you ok?" someone was asking.
I looked up and saw a guy about 25 years old. He had brown hair and ocean blue eyes.
"Yeah, I am fine," I replied.
"Are you sure?"
Well, if only there were more caring people like him around, I thought. "Yeah, I am..." I started but my body chose to contradict me as more water came out from my mouth. I felt so angry at myself. Why was I so weak when I really needed to be strong?
The man helped me up and I felt bad for having to trouble him.
"Thanks for your help," I said.
"That's ok..."
There was silence as I noticed the man staring at me.
"You look so familiar. Hmm...you wouldn't by any chance be Zak Sun's brother, would you?"
"Hmm...yeah..." I sighed as I acknowledged the family resemblance.
"How's Zak? I left here for a summer trip and haven't seen him since. You've come here for your studies too?"
"Zak..."
"Huh?"
"Zak has just passed away." The words left a bitter taste in my mouth. I still couldn't believe it had really happened.
"You are kidding, right?" the guy asked. But when he took another look at my face, he knew that I was not joking. "Why? I mean...how? He was looking very good and in high spirits when I left."
"The police said he committed suicide by jumping into the sea."
"That's impossible! He's the strongest person I ever know." He pursed his lips as he finished and looked grim. I suspect he was feeling emotional too. He was holding onto my arm in a tight clench.
We left the airport together. I found out that his name was Gary and that he was my brother's college friend. We took a cab to my brother's apartment but we didn't say too much on the trip. The city was very beautiful but I was in no mood to admire the view.
My brother lived in an apartment near the university. He had told us that he was sharing the place with another guy. We knocked on the door of the apartment and, a few seconds later, someone came to open the door. He looked so tired. He looked at Gary and they hugged each other.
"Gary, I thought you are still on your holiday?" the guy asked.
"I just come back today and I met him outside the airport..." Gary pointed to me and said, "...so I know what had happened to Zak."
The guy looked at me. He was quite handsome, with blond hair and blue eyes. "You are Zak's brother?" he asked, but it sounded more like a statement than a question.
I nodded.
He let Gary and me into the apartment, then introduced himself as Leo. He was my brother's roommate. Then he told Gary to sit down on the sofa and brought me to Zak's room.
"This is Zak's room. There is a letter he wrote to you before he...left." Then Leo turned away and left the room. I closed the door and walked toward Zak's desk. There was a letter that had my name on the envelope. With trembling hands, I slowly opened the letter. I recognized my brother's writing, neat and tidy like he was.
Dear Little Brother:
There is nothing in this world I'm more concerned about than my lovely little brother. You see, when you read this, I am no longer in this world but please don't be sad for me. Sorry little brother, but I don't regret what I'm about to do. I hope you can forgive me...
I'm not sure how I can delicately explain the path I'm going to take, so please forgive my getting straight to the point. I have decided to leave this world because I fell in love with a man.
I don't know how to tell Uncle and you that I am gay. Every time I think about this, I feel so torn up inside. What's worse is that I've fallen in love with someone, but he's left me. And now, I don't want to live anymore. Maybe everyone would think I am stupid but I know there is still one person who will understand me. Little brother, I know you will understand. I want to tell you
The letter ended abruptly. I turned the page but there was nothing on the other side. What was Zak trying to tell me? I felt that there was something very important he had to say. I had lots of questions but no answers were forthcoming. Emotionally drained and exhausted, I lay down on my brother's bed and used his letter to cover my face as my tears started anew. I told myself that I mustn't cry anymore, that I couldn't let anyone know that I cried. I needed to be strong like my brother...
The funeral went smoothly. The sun was shining brightly that day. I expected it would be a rainy day because my brother loved rainy days. My uncle and aunt turned up a few days before but returned to Hong Kong 3 days later. It was just too painful for them. But I decided to stay here. I was due to start my studies here anyway. I'd applied and gotten acceptance a month ago so there was no reason to go back only to return shortly afterwards. Also, I really wanted to know why my brother committed suicide and I could not go back with that nagging thought still fresh in my mind. I sensed that he was going to tell me the real reason in the letter but he hadn't gotten to it and now he'd passed away leaving me with nothing. No, he'd left me an unfinished letter...and I was going to find out the truth...
Uncle had brought the mute bird for me. He said he'd put it in his pocket on the flight here but I think he was trying to cheer me up. The night after the funeral. I wanted to set it free. I opened the cage and took it out but the bird made no attempt to fly away. It just sat there perched on my arm.
"You not only forgot how to sing, you forgot how to fly too?" I asked the silly bird.
Seeing that it was not going anywhere, I just set the bird down on the desk. In case it ever changed its mind, I wanted to give it a chance to experience freedom, so I decided against putting it back into the cage.
After I coming here, I still kept in contact with my boyfriend. Yes, I am gay too, among the many common traits I shared with my brother though I don't think he knew that about me. Two weeks later, my boyfriend called me up and I was happy to hear his voice again but he did not have my happiness in mind.
"Zion, I don't want a long distance relationship. I want my boyfriend beside me where I can touch him, kiss him. I don't want to betray you but I am a man and you are too far away and you know? You can't give me sex."
Upon hearing that, I agreed to break up with him. A five-year relationship, and he wants to break up because I couldn't make love with him? Is sex...really that important? What about later when we're old and grey, would we stay together when sex becomes a physical impossibility? How shallow can he be?
After our break up, I felt that my life was gradually turning for the worse. Sometimes I went clubbing with Leo and sometimes we went out having fun with other guys. But I never had sex with any of them them. We shared chaste kisses and touches but no sex. I knew Leo want me in his bed but I was not really interested. Sure, he was attractive and handsome. But inside, I was obsessed with only one thing on my mind. I wanted to find out the real reason why my brother committed suicide and I had no room for anything else.
I moved into my brother's apartment. I took over his room. Leo was very nice to me and Gary would come and visit me sometimes to make sure that I was fine. My brother's room was very comfortable. There was a window facing south and you could see the big maple forest outside. The trees were quite close and every night, I would stand in front of the window and hear the sound of its leaves as the wind blew though the forest. It sounded just like the sound of waves crashing upon the beach. I would close my eyes and listen to the sound of the ocean of trees and think about my brother.
A few weeks later, the sadness and gloom that hung like a shroud was sudddenly lifted and everyone around me was back to normal as life resumed its humdrum monotony. I finished my registration at the university and Gary really helped me a lot. In these few weeks, I got to know Gary and Leo better.
Gary was very nice to me, too nice that I felt somewhat uncomfortable. He was majoring in Business and was a member of our university's swim team. It seems that he was well-known in the campus. Leo told me that Gary spent more time in water than on land.
The week after Zak's funeral, Gary invited me for a swim with him every day. I enjoyed the time in the pool because there were lots of handsome young guys around. They were certainly eye candies but I certainly did not contemplate pursuing any of them as I was still with my boyfriend then. In any case, I felt no attraction for them because of my obsession. I felt that there was something that Gary wanted to tell me but he didn't quite know how to say. So he continued treated me very well. It sounded weird but my feelings told me that's probably the truth and that he'd open up when the time was right.
Leo was a wolf, not in that he was a violent guy but that he was, well... he was somewhat of a sex machine, to put in nicely. Every night he'd go clubbing and I'd gone with him a few times, and he'd be sure to bring someone back without fail. Leo was very handsome, and the people he brought home were mostly good- looking ones. He was probably bisexual although he'd bring mostly guys back with him, sometimes there were girls too. I thought he'd be a lousy student with the way he's living his life but Gary told me he was a honor student in the Law faculty, the same faculty as my brother.
As I got back from a swim the month before school began, I saw someone sitting on a big suitcase in front of my apartment. As I walked toward him, I noticed that he was a young man a year or two younger than me. He had short blond hair and blue eyes.
"Hi," he said when he saw me.
"Hi," I returned.
"You live here?" he asked.
"Yeah."
"You are Leo's roommate?"
"Yeah..."
Actually I wanted to say no because I thought he was one of Leo's sex partner or should I say, toy. He was very cute and looked just like the type Leo would bring to his bed every night.
"I am Justin, Leo's brother." He put out his hand and we shook. I blushed out of embarrassment for mistaking him for Leo's toy. Luckily, he didn't know that.
Tbc...
This is the first chapter of The Unfinished Letter. What do you think? Give me a letter please. Write to me at fantasy_eric@hotmail.com
I am waiting...