This is a work of fiction. All the resemblances are completely accidental. Don't read it if you are not supposed to. You know the drill. My e-mail is ConcertoInD@Gmail.com if you want to tell me something (insults, praises, and whatnot). Thanks!
PART II
- I -
It's been more than two months since Amber hung herself and my numbness finally started to disappear. I was thinking of following Amber's example for two or so weeks after her funeral and I was so serious about it that it almost scared me. So I started to draw even more than I used to. I would go to school, go to work, and I would feel like I was on auto-pilot. As if I was doing everything because someone programmed me. But then I would come back home and start drawing and the pain lessened almost immediately. I could draw all night long, simply forgetting about sleep, and finally Sam told me that if I don't start sleeping, I'll probably kill someone when I pass out behind the wheel of my car. The thought was scary and I started to set an alarm clock for my drawing sessions. I would set it for two thirty in the morning and once it went off, I would unwillingly put my pencils away and go to bed where I was falling asleep almost instantly.
By the end of January I applied to three different art colleges. Two of them were local, and the third one was in Arizona. Christy and I hung out less than we used to because she would spend all her time with Alex. It was really bizarre but ever since Amber's funeral I didn't feel as crazy as I used to about Alex. I still found him incredibly attractive and I would still long for him but now it wasn't the same desperate love that was torturing me since September.
I was really surprised when I never dreamt of Amber. I would dream of Alex, Christy, Sam, and even Matt but never of Amber. It was as if God finally decided to show some mercy and not to torture me in my sleep. I was really grateful for that and I started to say a short prayer every night before I went to bed. Somehow it was making me feel better.
Sam and I talked a lot lately and I felt really good after our conversations. I guess it was somewhat inevitable for us to end up in bed together which happened on the last day of January and there was no wine or drugs to blame. It just happened.
I couldn't believe how right and normal it felt to me. I was really afraid that the things would get weird between us but Sam just shrugged and said that nothing will change unless I start freaking out again. I laughed at that and was enormously relieved when nothing changed.
Life was slowly returning back to normal - or in my case semi-normal - and on the second week of February I almost believed that I finally got my redemption. Boy, was I wrong...