Two Way Conversation by DCG
############### DISCLAIMER ###############
Here we go again...This in no way insinuates anything about anyone in any circumstance and should not be read by those banned by law and those who don't for one reason or another like this stuff...(By the way...this is an NSync story...how could it be anything else...)
Author's Notes: Hey there, this is gonna be the shortest intro ever by me just hoping that you all enjoy it and get back to me and let me know what you think...
( grimstone@btinternet.com or ujemeflip@hotmail.com )
And it continues...
**************************************************************************** Last Time in 'Two Way Conversation'
JC shoulders visibly lightened. He didn't know how Joey and Chris had found out, but right now he didn't care. All he cared about was that he was ok, and accepted. Joey was still stood in-front of JC with his hand still perched comforting on JC's shoulder...and JC took this as his opportunity and grabbed hold of Joey and hugged him tightly... "Thank-you Joe...thanks" whispered JC into Joeys receptive ear
Joey pulled back after a few minutes to see JC wipe his eyes dry of the small trickle of happy tears that had graced his cheeks...
"Now we just have to figure out how to get you and Justin together!"...
And now the continuation...
Chapter 2 - `Day of Reflection'
The time had passed quickly from their arrival. In between numerous drinks and bouts of frantic dancing with complete strangers, the time had passed to 3am. The crowds were beginning to dissipate to their respective homes to reflect on the evenings events and the lights were turning low. Justin was leant against the bar, for added support more than anything. He had consumed more than enough alcohol that evening and his faculties were definitely not under his control. His eyes were jaded and dreamy, his legs were one stage away from jelly, and his thoughts and emotions were as rampant as they had ever been... As with most people, Justin had assumed that a few drinks would numb or take away the pain for a while. But every time he downed his drink he saw his face, or every time he danced with someone he felt his breath. He spent the night finding the nearest available body and dancing with it. He didn't care what they looked like and he danced with women mostly to keep up appearances. But his mind wandered... She's a good dancer, but she's not Josh...' He's cute, but he's not Josh...' `They have style, but they are not my Josh!...'
Moments later Lance arrived, stone sober. As with most occasions out clubbing, he enjoyed the night by consuming insurmountable volumes of coke with ice and lemon and watching everybody else enjoy themselves. Not being, what he considered, a good dancer, made him sway away from following everyone else to the dance floor. He caught sight of Justin and walked to his side...he could see the drunken nature of his best friend from across the stage...Justin slurred his speech and snapped occasionally at random people because they wouldn't give him another drink...
After a bit of persuasion and the trick of another drink outside, Lance managed to get Justin to leave the confines of this, now empty club...
The fresh air hit Justin like an overwhelming wave...His drunken state increased and Lance had to dive to recover his stumbling body...
"You sure had too much Justin..." said Lance, almost prepared to say something else, but Justin interrupted by vomiting into the wall alongside...
Several minutes later, Justin had finished his verbal diarrhoea and slumped to the ground, scraping his back against the rough brick wall as he did. Lance took this as a hint and did the same... Justin was officially exhausted, mentally and physically. The realisation that tomorrow would be a day to forget hit him as he hung his head into his hands...
"What have I done?" said Justin, in a more sobering voice...
"You tell me Justin... I would have never brought you here if I knew what you were going to do..." reassured Lance as he looked down at his pale looking companion for the night.
That was the cue...the drunken state and the heated emotions had pushed Justin to the limit...He wasn't bothered about the impending hangover from his overindulgence...he was worried about his emotions... Emotions were beginning to take over Justin as he giggled to himself, whilst starting to cry... He was usually quite strong with most people...apart JC that is! but now he didn't care as the rafts of tears came. He continued to look to the pavement as his shoulders bucked under his painful sobs... This shocked Lance, who knew nothing and assumed everything, but never assumed it was this bad. He took Justin to his shoulder and placed his hand on his head.
"What's that for Justin...Come on...crying isn't going to put everything right!" attempted Lance to reassure...and it was working, in a fashion. Justin stopped crying tears and started sniffling as he looked up to Lances watching face...
"You know don't you?" asked Justin, one half of him hoping the answer would be yes, to take a weight off his shoulders, the other half hoping it was no, so that he wouldn't be rejected...the wait was almost unbearable, even for a man half drunk. And Lance finally knew...he had pushed the notion to the back of his mind and concentrated on other things but the notion was still there...'Justin is gay!', a simple phrase with innumerable consequences for them all, not just Justin.
"Yes, I think I do..." reassured Lance. And he knew what Justin needed. He needed approval, from one of his best friends.
"And I'm ok with it, so don't go worrying yourself there Justin...Your gay, so what! I love you anyway!" and with that they hugged tighter and Justin sobbed more. This was the first candle on the cake for him...It wasn't JC's approval but this was the start. He would need them all eventually.
They were in the house and tucked up in their respective beds just a few minutes later. Lance's quick thinking had hailed them a taxi and driven home. He had taken the time and tucked Justin in, brushing errant tears from his cheeks as he finished. He made his way back to his room and closed the door, he had a shower and got into bed.
It was 4am but everyone was awake. JC had never slept from the moment his head hit the pillow. Thoughts of Justin ran through his mind as they always did, but now that Joey and Chris knew, he felt liberated and free to a certain degree...He could actually contemplate being with Justin, instead of eternally thinking about it. A smile graced his face as eventually the time and tiredness of his body overtook his eyes and brought him to sleep, a peaceful one.
It got to 5am and the only one awake now was Justin. The alcohol in his system hadn't waited for the sun to peak through the horizon before grabbing his attention, it had done it during his sleep, and he was glad. He had been awoken from a dream that had turned into a nightmare, but in Justin's eyes that nightmare was the truth. It culminated in the moment JC's lips touched Bobbie's...and with that his head had jerked up from his pillow as his stomach wrenched inside. He spent half an hour or so in the bathroom clearing his insides of the substance he had abused a few hours earlier. As with everyone who experiences it, they vow never to touch the offending substance again, but Justin knew he would, if only to have one beer on a social occasion. He laughed to himself slightly as he raised his head to the mirror. He knew he probably looked like a fool, a lovesick fool, but the recognition of that had nothing on the reality. As he looked into the mirror, he didn't, at first, realise it was a vision of himself. Gone was the perfect picture of the boy band member everyone swooned after, and here in it's place were baggy eyes, still filled with un-spilt tears. His hair was dishevelled and erratic, and something he would usually tend to straight away. But right now it didn't bother him one bit. He looked straight into the mirror and came to one conclusion. he was going to tell JC to his face in the morning, that he was happy, happy for JC and Bobbie. It would be something that would almost destroy Justin, but it was something that would make JC happy, and that was all he wanted.
And with that Justin went back to bed. He washed his face and tried in vain to push his matted hair back into place before doing so, but it wasn't long before sleep overcame him and everyone in the house was asleep, all wondering what the next day would bring...
The minutes ticked by to ten am and the birds had stopped their morning call, but the sun was out and it was officially, in the eyes of the awake, Tuesday 29th of January 2002.
Chris and Joey were downstairs in the kitchen each with a cup of coffee in their hands, but saying nothing to break the silence.
"It's his birthday on Thursday."
"Justin's?"
"Yeah..." responded Chris...
"And?"
"We have to do something then!"
"But what if he isn't gay?"
"That's the risk were gonna have to take"
"But I don't think JC would want to go through with it if he wasn't!" reasoned Joey
"JC wants to be with Justin...We have to give him that opportunity...that's all we can do."
They both just looked at each other and agreed silently...Joey only disagreed slightly because he had some sort of anxiety inside. He didn't want to see JC crumble in-front of his best friend when he uttered the words I'm not interested' or I'm straight' or even worse... You disgust me', because Joey knew that JC would live forever with the possibility', over losing his best friend over the reality'. But he also knew that at the same time that the reality' in JC's eyes, if Justin was interested, would be the greatest time of his life. It was just a chance they were going to have to take, and the consequences they would have to deal with.
The rest of the morning passed uneventfully. Lance came down from his room not much after Joey's and Chris' conversation and left shortly afterwards. JC arrived on the scene, with a wide smile on his face, still happy and content from his talk with Joey the night before...and perched himself on the sofa and flicked on the television to MTV to watch a few videos...Justin however was still cooped up in his duvet in his darkened room, asleep...
The time flew by to mid afternoon and Chris had left to do some work on his clothes label, and Lance had still not returned. Joey had just been out to the pool and sat in the kitchen preparing himself something to eat. JC hadn't budged from his spot on the sofa all day, and still Justin hadn't appeared. Up in his room he had finally opened his eyes and fled the confines of his bed. He had a shower and got dressed and opened the blinds to his room, glancing down to the pool once to see Joey wave back. After exchanging silent pleasantries with Joey, Justin turned back around and exited the room. He was in autopilot. His stomach lurched with his every move, but he had something he needed to do before he let it take over his mind. He had the resolution to tell JC that it was ok that he was with Bobbie, he thought that JC needed that support from his best friend, and he needed to do it before he lost the proverbial `bottle'.
He stood at the top of the stairs and looked down upon his angel. Justin stood and watched JC for what to Justin seemed like seconds, but were in-fact passing minutes. He loved to watch his every move, the grace of his smile, the depth of his pure eyes, the definition of his toned and smooth, and to Justin, perfect, body. He could only imagine what it would be like to be able to experience it all as he wanted to. But the image of Bobbie flashed across his mind and he turned away...and after a brief moment for composure made his way down into the lounge and went straight to JC. He needed to say it straight away, he needed to blurt it out and get it out of his system, because it wouldn't make it any better, nor would it make him feel any better, but it would, to Justin, make JC feel better...
"Your stood in-front of the TV Just..." echoed JC as he watched the latest videos on the TV...
"I'm ok..."stuttered out Justin as he tried to form the sentence...
"That's nice to hear....but your still blocking the TV..." misunderstood JC, a grin appearing on his face, as if Justin was playing with him, and provoking him...
"I'm...I'm ok with Bobbie..." finished Justin, he could say no more, and JC didn't need to hear any more...Just the word `Bobbie' had brought JC to Justin's eyes.
There was a moment of complete silence as JC looked into Justin, and visa versa, and Joey perched himself in the doorway, oblivious to both of them...
"Your what?" asked JC...hearing words he didn't want to hear. But they registered in his mind immediately. `Justin is ok with it' echoed through his mind...but it was too late and Justin was gone, out of the front door and away... He had just had the resolve to tell JC he was ok with it and give his support, but that was it. The barrier he had kept up for so long had disintegrated and fell apart and he couldn't stand there in-front of JC and do that, it wouldn't be fair to either of them, so he left. He ran out of the front door and straight into Lance, whom he knocked to the floor...
"Sorry Lance..."uttered Justin as he looked down to him with red eyes and an upturned smile, before he stepped over him and made his way to his car. Lance hadn't moved an inch from his position on the floor as he looked on at Justin's fast disappearing car... `What has JC done?' feared Lance as a certain amount of anger built up inside him, so he pulled himself from the floor and made his way inside...
Meanwhile inside the house, JC hadn't moved either. His face looked straight ahead as he contemplated the words Justin had said... "I don't want him to be ok with it...I want him to hate it." whispered JC as he eventually looked towards the approaching Joey. "He didn't look too bothered about it Joe...It didn't look as though it meant anything to him..." was all he could say before he evaded Joey's advancing embrace and went out into the back garden to think...
And as if by a freak of timing Lance entered the house moments later to find a rather subdued Joey leant against the entrance to the kitchen looking out into the back garden. Lance was still fuming and irate. As with most people who don't have the full picture, he had misunderstood. He thought Justin had done the one thing he thought he wouldn't, and that was to tell JC his feelings. `Only something that big would make him react like that' was Lances' only reasoning. He was fuming with rage as he walked up to Joey and grabbed his attention by snatching at his arm, painfully.
"What the hell did you do that for?" asked Joey as he surveyed his arm. Lance just looked past Joey as he saw the object of his rage, JC. JC had perched himself on the edge of the pool, with his head drooping low and staring into the shimmering abyss. Lance snapped...Joey's question, or the momentary pain he caused to him were history. The pain he saw on Justin's face was enough to convince him that his best friend had been destroyed. He had only known about Justin's sexuality for a few brief hours, but he had already formed a protective bond over him. Lance was like that. And in his view was the person who had caused it...
Lance suddenly made a beeline for the door and his objective but Joey grabbed his arm, stopping him in his tracks...
"No...I wouldn't go out there Lance...Not right now." assured Joey as he maintained his grip on Lance, not flinching for a second. Joey had seen JC, and the way his shoulders slumped, and his face faded and became white and lifeless. He wanted to do something, anything to help, but knew where to keep his distance. This was JC's `alone' time. Lance just looked down at the hand that gripped his arm and then into Joey's eyes...As soon as he saw the look of sincerity in those orbs he faded in his resilience. That was also a trait of Lances', he was very easily persuaded by one of the guys...especially Joey.
"Have you seen what he's done to Justin...Have you?" questioned Lance knowing only him had seen the look of horror and betrayal, and of utter defeat on Justin's face. He wanted to shout it out as an accusation but it slipped out from between his lips as a whisper...a plea...
Joey was dumbfounded. His concern was JC, and at this time, only JC. What Justin had just done has shattered what little hope JC held for them. This morning he was the happiest he had been for an age, and yet moments later he was as far away from that truth as he could ever be. The only thing that could soothe or at least numb the feelings inside were the ripples of the pool water and time alone. From this, he hadn't thought of Justin, much. He's fucked up JC, that's what he's done!' raged Joey inside as he fought himself not to blurt it to the world. But then he looked deep into Lance and saw something. he saw sincerity, sincerity about everything he asked. Something's wrong with Justin?' thought Joey...
"What's wrong with Justin?" he asked.
"N...No...Nothings wrong with Justin..." Stuttered Lance as he tried to cover up his slip. He knew Justin had told him under duress and would never had uttered those words otherwise, so he needed to keep his secret. Blurting out questions about JC and Justin wouldn't help. But it was too late...The sight of Lance dipping his head to avoid eye contact and his cheeks blushing a shallow shade of red had confirmed it. `Lance is hiding something' reasoned Joey.
The next few hours passed slowly and gracefully. JC sat, alone at the poolside and eventually pulled himself up from the edge and came inside. But he didn't want conversation. He didn't want companionship and a shoulder to cry on right now, so he want upstairs to his equally dark room. Joey had monitored JC the entire time, like a hawk watching it's prey, but in this case, a friend keeping an eye on his concern. He saw how JC's demeanour hadn't faltered an inch. His head remained low and he could see it being like that for a long long time. Only now did he truly realise how strong and binding JC's feelings for Justin were. They were lifelong in their commitment. When JC had retired to his room, Joey didn't move, he didn't think to do his own thing, or to amuse himself with TV or work...he just sat there... Lance did the opposite. He knew Joey had assumed something about his reaction to Joey's question... "What's wrong with Justin?" was the question as Lance recited it to himself... And I had to go and blush, and look away...how more obvious can I get!' screamed Lance as he drove along another undistinguished Los Angeles avenue. He had been looking for Justin for close to three hours now and he looked at his watch to see the seconds tick down to 4pm...The day was closing and he knew Justin couldn't be left alone, and free of emotional support. He ran possibilities over and over in his mind as he turned yet another corner in his continuing search... Work, no chance...' and then, just as he thought of other alternatives, a figure in the corner of his eye, in a nearby Basketball court caught his attention. He looked towards and realised instantly that it was Justin. A flow of relief engulfed him as he pulled up and parked the car, and then made his way over. He looked Justin up and down. `He Looks like he had one hell of a workout' thought Lance as he saw the apparent fatigue in Justin's movements as he pulled off another successful shot.
"You nearly lost me there..." joked Lance as he got to the court edge
Justin shot around in surprise as he fished the ball from the cold court surface...As his head turned, Lance saw more evidence than he needed. Justin was still crying...and it looked like he had been for some time, but Justin quickly wiped the remnants away as his shoulders slumped back to normality upon seeing Lance. But Lance didn't buy any of his attempt to cover the truth. he had seen enough of it in Justin's eyes when he left the house. Lance just walked over, open armed and hugged Justin. That's all he could think to do, as his show of complete support. As soon as his chin connected with Lances shoulder Justin let out an audible sigh of contentment. It was obvious that he needed this support, but just wasn't in the state of mind to request it.
The moments passed slowly, but eventually several minutes of silence prevailed, and Lance thought it time to speak... I've got to know what happened...' thought Lance as he formed the words in his mind. I need him' was all that Justin could repeat to himself as he clung on...
"What happened?" whispered Lance as he tried to coax the truth from within the shell...
Justin visibly flinched at the question. Not a good start!' exclaimed Lance... Let's try another approach'
"Whatever it was you got me worried, you and JC both...!" finished Lance, hoping that he would latch onto those two letters, JC, and respond...
"What did JC do?" Justin asked, worriedly... Justin was suddenly confused. He had told JC the one thing that could, and did, rip out his heart and obliterate it. JC did nothing but, what Justin assumed, loved Bobbie. It wasn't a crime. `And what has got Lance worried about JC?'
"I was going to ask you the same question?" responded Lance, and then Justin's shoulders sunk again...
"I...I...told him that...that I was ok with him and...him and Bobbie!" finished Justin as he removed himself from Lance and looked into his eyes...
Clarity reached Lance quicker than a speeding bullet out of a smoking gun. It was so easy...so simple, and yet no-one could see it... `How could I have missed it?' questioned Lance as he looked back and smiled...
"What are you smiling for?" asked Justin as he looked back bemused...but Lance removed the smile as quickly as he revealed it...
"Nothing...I just know that if we don't get back soon, they're gonna send out a search party, and we don't want that...!" laughed Lance as he turned himself and Justin towards his parked car and they walked silently off... Lance could have told Justin there and then what he thought, but it wouldn't be right. If JC isn't gay then it would devastate Justin, again...' I have to find out first...' Then another clarity hit Lance... `Joey seemed to know more than he was letting on...he must know...' mused Lance as he engaged the engine and pulled out from the court. The drive home existed in perpetual silence as both continued to think to themselves...about completely contrasting situations... Lance, about the possibility of JC and Justin realising their feelings...and Justin about whether he could exist in a bubble that contained JC and Bobbie, together...
**************************************************************************** There we go again folks...Chapter 2 is done and dusted and Chapter 3 is well on it's way...
Again I have left you all with innumerable questions to answer, but as this is only a 5 chapter story I doubt it will take long for it to all pan out into the 'happy' ending (I haven't decided that part yet!)
Please feel free to get back to me to remind me that JC and Justin are in no way this mushy or that Chris and Joey haven't got drunk and pulled a prank yet...or that Lance is just too luvvy duvvy for your taste... I know all these things, but ha ho, this is fiction baby!!
Please feel free to get back to me while I wait for Christopher to write another chapter to 'Something Like Justin' and 'Building Dreams'... (grimstone@btinternet.com or ujemeflip@hotmail.com)
See yaz all laterz
DCG