Disclaimer: The following is a work of fiction. It contains characters who share names, descriptions, etc., with real-life people (specifically members of the group *N SYNC); however, this is all fantasy and in no way is to insinuate anything about those people.
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Two Sides of a Coin--Part 2
"So what WERE you two talking about?" asked Chris.
"We were just comparing lifestyles," Lance answered him.
"Wait, you guys have the SAME lifestyle; I mean, you're both gay, right? Or did I miss something?"
Justin smiled at Chris's confusion. "We may both be gay, but we live very different lifestyles."
"Yeah, Justin thinks he's a perfect gentleman and that I'm a slut!" Lance added.
"You ARE a slut," JC cast his vote.
"That's a pretty lousy thing to say," Joey joined in.
"Ahhhhh, thank you for defending me; but I agree, I am a slut," Lance said with a smile.
"You sound proud of it," Chris said.
"Not sure if I'm proud of it, but I don't mind it. It's not really WHO I am, just what I DO."
"Doesn't what you DO determine WHO you are?" Justin asked.
"Oh no, Pastor Timberlake is starting another sermon," Lance laughed.
"SHUT UP!" Justin responded, also laughing.
"What's with the preacher thing?" JC asked, still trying to get in on the joke.
"I still say I'm just having fun, and there's nothing wrong with that. Maybe someday I'll settle down--if I fall in love."
Joey glanced up to see three sets of eyes on him as Lance finished his statement. Lance himself was going to the refrigerator for a bottle of water.
"What?" Joey asked the room loudly.
"Nothing," JC answered.
"Oh, now I'm the bad guy somehow?" Joey asked.
"I never said that," JC responded. "Feeling guilty?"
"NO. Just don't like the looks I'm getting."
"Are they giving you a hard time, Joey? Don't pay any attention to them. I just explained to Justin that we just like to have fun. It has nothing to do with love." Lance tried to rescue Joey from what was obviously an annoying situation for him.
"I really don't see why it's anyone's business what we do anyway."
"Yeah, like we aren't in everyone's business all the time!" Chris said with a laugh. "We can hardly live this close to each other and not know what's going on--and then having an opinion about it just follows."
"Maybe you should try and figure out why it bothers you so much," Justin said a little smugly.
"Maybe YOU should shut up!" Joey answered him.
"Back off, Justin; this obviously isn't something Joey wants to talk about," JC said to Justin as he plopped himself down on the sofa pulling Justin down onto his lap. They smiled at each other as Justin turned sideways on the sofa and lay his head back on the arm, still sitting on JC.
The tension broken, the guys got down to discussing the schedule for the day and beyond. Forty-five minutes later, they had finished and were going their separate ways for the rest of their free morning.
"You wanna go shopping, Josh?" Justin asked him as he walked toward the door.
"Nah, I think I'll just relax. I have some e-mail I need to answer and stuff. That okay?"
"Sure, no prob. Anyone else interested in going?" Justin asked the others.
"I'll go," Chris answered.
"Me too. I'd like to get out of here for a while," Lance added.
All five guys walked out into the hall, the three shoppers heading toward the elevator.
"You got a minute?" Joey asked JC.
"Sure. What's up?"
"Just wanted to talk a little."
"Come on over--or do you want to go to your room?"
"Yours is fine--probably cleaner."
"Well, from the sounds of things last night . . . oh, sorry, didn't mean to bring up a sore subject," JC caught himself.
"That's okay. Actually that's sort of what I wanted to talk to you about."
"Oh." JC's face showed how surprised he was at Joey's comment.
They went into the room, Joey plopped down on the sofa as JC lay across the bed facing him.
"I don't know what I want to say. I just--I don't know--maybe I'm feeling guilty or something. About Lance and me."
"Guilty? Why?"
"Well, Justin obviously thinks what we do is wrong. What about you?"
"Me? Why's it matter what I think?"
"JC, don't play games. I'm askin' you what you think. I care about what you think."
"Well, thanks, I guess! But it really shouldn't matter--I mean you have to decide what's right for you. I don't know . . . I guess I don't have any problem with any of it--except when you wake me up, like last night."
"Sorry 'bout that. You know how Lance gets."
"Um, yeah, I think we all do. But otherwise, as long as you both are into it and enjoying yourselves and nobody's getting hurt, no problem for me. I mean it doesn't affect the group. Justin and Lance may disagree on things, but look at them--they're still great friends. Justin is young and has really strong ideas on things--and he's not afraid to tell people his opinion! But he doesn't really judge people--I mean he doesn't think Lance is a bad person--he just wants what's best for him."
"And that would be to be in a committed relationship."
JC smiled at Joey. "In Justin's opinion, yes. But that's Justin's opinion. Why's all this bothering you all of a sudden?"
"I don't know. Maybe I just didn't get enough sleep last night," Joey said and laughed. "Maybe I'm just tired."
"So, you guys have fun right? I mean--that's all it is right? Just fun? I mean, you don't love each other or anything, do you? It's just sex?"
"It's not like I don't like Lance--I love him like a brother-- well, not exactly like a brother." Both Joey and JC had a good hard laugh at Joey's comments. "I sure don't love my REAL brother that way!"
When they both could control their laughter, Joey went on. "I love him like I love you--or Justin--or Chris. It's just that we found that we like to play--sexually. No strings. No guilt."
"Sounds like what most men--gay or straight--want. Or think they want."
"And even some of us in between."
"Sorry--didn't mean to leave out the bisexual masses!"
"Ha, ha! Don't give me that shit about there not being any such thing as a bisexual."
"No, I'm not. I believe there are such things. You seem to be proof of that. If there are gay people and straight people, why shouldn't there be some in between. I mean, most of us are pushed into one group or the other and never given the chance to try the other side--or are too afraid to."
"Really? So you interested in a little experimentation?"
"ME? No. No, never really considered it much. I mean, I guess I've been curious a few times, but not really into it. And now, with Justin and all, I'd never do anything like that."
"Why do you say that?"
"Cause we love each other. I'd never do anything that would hurt him. Sure wouldn't hurt him just out of a little curiosity. Not worth risking his finding out. And I don't care. I mean, Justin really makes me happy--I'm really lucky. I have a really sexy guy who's in love with me! How could I be any luckier?"
"That's cool. You guys really do seem like the ideal couple. Anyway, you did some experimenting before anyway, right? I mean with guys."
"Yeah, sure. That's no secret. I might not have been quite the slut Lance is," JC said with a big smile, "but I messed around with plenty of guys."
"So you got it out of your system?"
"I guess--if that's what it was about. I also realized that what I was really looking for was love. I just wanted to feel like someone loved me--really loved ME, you know? And for a few minutes--or an hour or whatever--I kind of felt loved. But then we walked away, and the feeling disappeared. I was much more interested in love than in sex."
"But you at least had the experiences. Justin never has, has he?"
"Nope--I'm the one and only for him. Pretty amazing, huh? I mean when you think of all the guys--and girls--who would give anything to get their hands on him!"
"That ever make you nervous? That they all want him--and that you're the only one."
"Not really. I know how strongly Justin believes in monogamy. I guess I sometimes get scared that it's partly because he's young and still trying to be a good little boy. That maybe someday he'll decide he wants to see what other guys are like--or that he'll just get tired of me. But that's really about me being insecure, I guess. If he starts wanting someone else, it'll probably have more to do with our relationship being in trouble than him being curious."
"Yeah, I can see that. Hope you never have to face any bad times."
"Well, thanks--but that'd be a pretty unusual relationship to never have to face bad times! We'll survive--if we try--if we want to badly enough--if it's meant to be. . . . So what about you, Joey? You feeling guilty about a few remarks from Justin or are you feelin' like you need to make a change?"
Joey let out a small laugh. "I don't know. Wish I did. I don't think I'm really feeling guilty. Maybe feeling a little like there might be somethin' I'm missing. You know, the whole LOVE thing!" He laughed, but then grew serious again. "I don't know; maybe I'm afraid that doin' the sex thing with Lance might keep me from being open to meeting someone or somethin'. It's just easier to come back to the hotel and sleep with Lance."
"I guess that makes a little sense, but it's not really sex you're looking for, is it?"
"No, but like you said, sex can feel like love sometimes. And if it's with a friend, it can really feel that way."
"Okay," JC said slowly. "I guess I'm a little confused--but maybe you are too? I mean, does it feel like love with Lance or does it feel like sex?"
"You say that like they can't overlap. What's it like with you and Justin? Do you guys ALWAYS 'make love,' or do you sometimes just 'have sex'?"
"To me? We always make love. But that doesn't mean it isn't really great sex. And sometimes it's much more about SEX than anything else. It's just sometimes we're really, really horny, you know? But I can't separate the two--even if we're doing something kind of different or kind of kinky--it's on both levels, you know? Love and sex--and fun."
"Kinky? Hmmm . . . I wonder what JC and Justin consider 'kinky'?"
"None of your business--but I bet you'd be surprised! Just because we don't make enough noise for the whole floor to hear doesn't mean we don't have fun. Believe me, Justin is one hot and sexy guy--and pretty imaginative too! Sometimes I have to wonder which one of us was really the experienced one!"
"It's those internet stories!" They laughed. "And you don't have to tell me he's hot and sexy! Our boy's been growin' up NICE!"
"Hey, that's MY man you're talking about! You keep your eyes off him!" JC laughed--but with just a certain seriousness in his words.
"Don't worry JC, I'd never do anything to cause any trouble for you guys. You are like Mr. and Mr. Perfect! I mean, you're beautiful and talented and hot and sexy--and you love each other more than anything in the world! It's really beautiful."
"Shit man, you got me blushin' here!"
"Well, it's true. And I'm really happy for both of you. It's the kind of thing I'd like someday. And what I'd like for Lance. And Chris--with someone other than that DOG of his!"
"Yeah, how far do you think that love goes . . . ?" The two guys looked at each other and shook their heads, then said at the same time, "I don't want to know!" They enjoyed another long laugh.
"So you want what we have, huh? With a guy? Or a girl?"
"Yeah, that's the question . . . You know it's not all that easy being bi. I mean, I'd like to think I'm open to whatever, but it sure seems like it would be easier if it was a woman. But sometimes I think it'd be easier to live with a guy. I guess I just have to try really hard to be open to meeting someone and open to falling in love. Let whatever happens, happen. It'd be too confusing to try and plan."
"Yeah, I can see that. But you're starting to think this thing you have with Lance may be keeping you from meeting someone--or falling in love."
"Maybe. Maybe I'm afraid of that."
"So, you gonna end it?"
"I don't know."
"You afraid you'd hurt him? Or you just afraid of being lonely some nights?"
"I'm sure I'd be lonely some nights. I don't really think I'd hurt him--I think he really is just in it for the fun."
"You're not afraid YOU'D be hurt, are you?" JC asked, looking at Joey with curiosity.
Joey chuckled quietly. "Who knows, maybe I am."