Here--in my first contribution to the Nifty Archive--is an absolutely true story about some of my very early thoughts of "he-men" and young adult cocksucking experiences.
The primary story here is about my separate interactions with two brothers--which happened years apart. The encounters with them have remained very vivid for me to this day. The first one happened when I was 19, in 1978, and the second eight years later.
At a very young age, I knew that I was "different" from the other boys. I didn't have words for it--but I "knew" that there was something different. Around the time I finished fifth grade, I found myself often daydreaming and thinking of what I then called "he-men"--big bodybuilders with lots of muscles; wearing only tiny underwear and showing off their big arm muscles and chests. I thought about their squared-off jaw lines and their five-o'clock beard shadows. I was fascinated with men's chest hair. I thought a lot about men that I would see. Did they have big muscles under their clothes? Would they let me touch their muscles? Did they have a hairy chest under their shirt? Was the hair dense and thick? Was it blond and light? Would they let me feel and rub their hairy chests? These weren't really "sexual" thoughts per se--but as a ten-year-old--I absolutely knew that I wanted to be hugged, held and--most importantly--squeezed by a muscle "he-man" with a big hairy chest. I would think of how nice it would feel to get to have their muscles and hairy bodies holding me firmly in their strong arms. I thought about how much I wanted to press my face into their chests and to rub my hands through their chest hair and to feel and kiss their arm muscles. I also knew--that for whatever reason--I couldn't tell anyone else about how I felt and what I thought about. But! I knew! And my thoughts of these kinds of men were with me constantly and all the time.
I have never been athletic or muscular, but puberty hit me early on, and I had a nice pattern of silky dark chest hair that got attention from the other guys in gym class early on in high school. I also had obvious dark hair on my forearms and legs. My chest and body hair had grown in pretty early compared to my classmates, and even with all the teasing I got about being a "faggot" all through school, there was some level of admiration about my chest hair. By the end of my freshman year in high school, my chest and underarm hair was very full, and by the beginning of my sophomore year, I was shaving my face most days of the week.
I've always been very happy with how my cock developed, and realized that it was a bit larger than most once I actually stared interacting with men sexually towards the end of my junior year of high school. My cock is a good size--not porn star size by any means--but definitely above-average, at just around seven inches (depending on my level of excitement.) It has an evenly thick shaft with nice prominent veins snaking up and down it. My favorite part of my cock is my knob--it's very large, and has a pronounced flange at the base of the head and a pretty large piss slit. I've always thought of my nice-looking cock as a blessing.
At the time of these stories below, I was very slim with a 28-inch waist, and 6'1" tall. All through school, I had a classmate named Bill, who, the summer after our first year of college, came out to me.
"You know that I'm gay like you, right?" he very casually asked one night.
At the time, we were just driving around at night in my car. Idly driving around was a constant and common activity for we young people with driver's licenses at the time. There wasn't much else to do in our area.
His question was frankly a bit of a shock for a couple of reasons. Firstly, although I had dreamt, hoped and fantasized for years that Bill might "be like me," I had for a long time thought that I was the only gay guy in school, and that all the other guys were straight. The quick and easy way that Bill said "gay like you, right?" really took me off guard. In all the years we had known each other, he had never once made mention of my being gay.
I had become used to a certain level of being put down for not being "normal" in the eyes of most of my classmates, both boys and girls. In my early school years, I just naturally spent much more time with the girls than the boys, and had gotten a lot of teasing about being a "sissy" and a "faggot" all the way up until the end of high school. By our senior year, the jibes had become much raunchier. It wasn't unusual for me to be clearly and loudly referred to as "that faggot cocksucker" in the hall between classes. Gym class was particularly distressing since I really was not athletic at all, and in the locker room and showers (where I would mostly look to the floor) a lot of the guys would directly tease and laugh at me.
This was the first time I learned for a fact that another guy I went to school with was gay. It was quite revelatory, and right away made me very happy to know that I wasn't alone among the guys I had grown up with. In response, I told him that no, I had not known that he was gay, but was happy that he told me.
"I want to have sex with you," Bill said. My mind reeled a bit after he said that, since I had thought that I would never hear that from him.
I had known Bill since first grade, and used to go over to his house all the time in middle and high school--we swam in his family's pool together, listened to records, talked about movies, etc. We were in several classes together, and both avid members of the Film Club. He had a younger brother named Chris and a fraternal twin sister in our class named Sally. At 19 years old, Bill was very handsome and muscular, hairy chested, and had a beard and shoulder-length hair. I always had enjoyed the times when I would get to see him shirtless, and was obsessed with his dark chest hair.
I laughed and said "I think that that would be fun!"
He responded, "I've always thought about how your mouth would look with my hard cock in it."
Instantly my cock started getting really hard in my jeans. Was this really going to happen? Did Bill--who I had known forever, and lusted over so many nights as I stroked my cock thinking about him--really want me to suck his cock? I had to concentrate on my driving since I was so insanely excited at the prospect of feeling his cock in my mouth, and his pretty obvious desire for me to do that.
I was no oral sex virgin by any means by this time. When I got my driver's license, I would tell my parents that I was going to visit some friends in the evenings; but really just drove all around the area listening to music and enjoying my driving freedom. I found out by accident one night about what went on in the woods at the local interstate rest stop. And I really loved it! And, once I turned eighteen, I started frequenting the adult video store with booths and glory holes that was right off the interstate about fifteen miles from where we lived. I used the money from my job at the local movie theater to buy quarters for the booths.
Because of both of these places, I was no stranger to hard adult cocks coming in my mouth and my high school cock spraying into theirs. I loved it! I suppose that due to my age, many nights at either the rest stop or the video store, I would come at least three times. Sometimes spraying right into my jeans due to the excitement of sucking a particularly hard cock, or into an older guy's sucking mouth. A lot of nights, I would visit the booths and then go over to the rest stop on my way home for more cum swallowing and spraying. Most of the men that I had this clandestine (and quite exciting!) cocksucker sex with were either completely anonymous through the holes in the video store booths; or, at the rest stop, in the night in the woods away from the parking area, obviously older than I. That didn't bother me at all. Sometimes they were college-age men, and sometimes guys my father's age. No one ever tried to hurt me. None of the men ever teased me for being a cocksucker. There was no obvious police presence at the rest stop (although that would change in years to come).
It was a wonderful time of freedom, of getting to finally express my sexual desires; the darkness that surrounded us and the clandestine way we were added to the excitement for me. I got to have what I had thought of so very much for several years--hard, throbbing cocks in my mouth--and hot cum spraying into my mouth to taste and swallow. Sometimes it was just me being an on-my-knees cocksucker, sometimes the older guy was the sucker down on his knees for me, and sometimes it was both of us taking turns. Usually, what would happen in that respect didn't really need to be spoken--we just seemed to naturally know.
Although I surely was naïve about relationships at the time, I wasn't stupid about men being cocksuckers for other men and the need to get off that each had. The driving need to get off by having a cocksucker service your cock and/or the need to have a hard cock in your mouth and swallowing the hot cum from the man's balls. I understood that for most of the men--often wearing wedding rings--that having an eighteen-year-old high-school guy on his knees in front of them happily sucking their hard cocks and swallowing their cum was pretty awesome. They told me that often enough as they emptied their balls into my mouth! It was completely awesome for me too! Sometimes the encounters were very silent, just cruising and rubbing our bulges, then grunting out our loads into the sucking mouth and going our separate ways. Other times there was a lot of verbal exchange about being a cocksucker.
I learned a lot, and enjoyed being taught about how to be both a submissive and dominant cocksucker and suckee, and the enjoyment that could come from all aspects of cock sucking and cock worship. I loved the amazing dirty excitement of being in the moonlit rest stop woods sucking up and down a hard shaft while sometimes other men stood around in the shadows doing the same or stroking themselves and verbally encouraging the cock worship.
All these men helped teach me to be the cocksucker that I had dreamed of being for years, and how to work with and instruct a man on his knees sucking me to give my cock the pleasure that I desired. Here I was, still the un-athletic nerdy teased "faggot" boy in high school during the day, while at the same time happily leading a night-time double life learning about embracing my gay manliness and lust in the covert shadows.
But this particular night with Bill, driving around and having a life-long friend--of my age!--come out to me and then right away tell me that he had thought about me sucking his cock! I wasn't going to let that comment pass by! I quickly pulled over, and went down on him that night in my car. We were parked a couple of miles away from our suburb in a dark wilderness area with kind of rough roads. Even after the cocksucking experiences that I had already had, this was monumentally exciting and erotic for me.
Bill had a nice cock, but it was definitely smaller than what I had been imagining for years, and much smaller than my cock. And, smaller than most of the men's cocks that I'd been sucking in the rest stop woods or in the bookstore booths. Although his cock wasn't big, he certainly was very, VERY hard as I sucked him, and had a well-shaped, shiny hard knob, which I adore. I had learned about taking my time sucking a cock when given that chance, and was trying my best to take my time. I concentrated on and enjoyed caressing and sucking his really rock-hard cock and his ball sack with my lips, tongue, mouth and fingers. His moans were music to my ears and I remember distinctly thinking how delicious he tasted, both his hard cock and the precum he was leaking.
I loved sucking cock then and I still do all these years later. I love being a cocksucker! Sucking a hard cock and swallowing a man's load is very sexually satisfying to me. A big part of my earliest gay lust memories always had to do with sucking cock. I'm a versatile guy, and like being active and passive with sucking and fucking; but wow! I really love sucking cock! Even at that age I could perform major awesome suck work on a nice hard smaller mouth-sized cock! Bill's extra-hard cock was that type, and I could easily swallow him from tip to base while keeping my tongue active all up and down his firm shaft in my mouth.
I absolutely LOVE big cocks, and every time I've been able to suck a huge one I have really loved it, and over time learned to fully swallow them. One of the straight men I once encountered had an absolutely huge cock that--since we were able to get together on several occasions--I completely learned to swallow easily all the way down; it drove him up the wall and he loved it, and I did too. But in some ways having a smaller cock to work with like Bill's allows me more tongue, lip and variety of suck action. When my mouth is stuffed full of a huge cock, even with all the satisfaction and happiness that gives me, there's only so much tongue, throat and lip movement one can accomplish when sucking a big, big cock. Even the first time I sucked a cock, (the summer after my junior year in high school), I was so happy sucking and instinctively knew right away that I was doing a "good job at it." Cocksucking came very naturally to me, and I have always loved doing it.
So that night in the car I gave Bill a long leisurely blow job. I was really enjoying the first time sucking a high school friend and happily giving it my "all". He was making the best kind of moaning noises: "Oh yeah! Tom! Suck my hard cock! Oh, tongue it! Work the head! You know what you're doing!" He obviously loved what I was doing to him, and telling me all the while how good it was, especially at the finale. I was all the way down to the root of his cock, and then stuck my tongue out and licked at the top of his ball sack. Then I felt that beautiful feeling of his entire cock suddenly swelling bigger all over and getting even more rigid and throbbing (I love that!) He yelled "COCKSUCKER!" and then made loud little girl squealing noises. I pulled back to just his knob to get ready to taste his cum, and then--he DUMPED an awesome HUGE really POTENT thick LOAD of hot jizz in my mouth...one of the biggest (if not THE biggest) loads I ever coaxed out of a man before or since. It was amazing and I gulped down most of it--there was a lot! I took several big swallows--really full mouthfuls! Very SPERMY tasting (ammonia and manliness) and just SO THICK! This was very exciting and virile. I remember specifically thinking of how much sperm must be in his load. I'll never forget it, it was just amazing, and I found it very fulfilling and satisfying that I was able to make my friend come so very hard. After I finally took my mouth off of his cock and sat up, he said that it was the best blowjob he had ever had. "Wow! You're like a professional or something!"
And then, unbidden, Bill proceeded to explain to me that although he was gay, he wasn't really a "cocksucking type of faggot" like I was, and wouldn't be returning the favor. (!!!!!!) We hadn't even kissed. I hadn't even gotten to see or feel his hairy chest since he hadn't opened his shirt. His tone and attitude when he said that struck me into silence for a bit. After a time of post-HIS-orgasm cool down--my aching hard cock had yet to exit my 501s--I asked him to do me a favor and check if one of my back turn signals was working . . . that I thought I had problems with it . . . and an easy way to tell would be to have someone look at it from outside. When he got out of the car to check it, I locked the doors, and out of the window yelled "this cocksucking type of faggot says you can walk the fuck home, asshole!"
And I drove away leaving him a couple miles from home. I haven't seen or spoken to him since. I heard through the grapevine that he soon after this moved to the other side of the country to go to a different college. Selfish asshole. But MAN! To this day, over forty years later, I still think of that manly LOAD he pumped into my mouth. I bet he remembers it as well. What a fool he was . . . all the hot blow jobs he missed getting. And that I didn't get to give. After years of teasing and being called a "faggot" in school, I was NOT about to let a gay guy (of all fucking things!) derisively call me that as well.
Several years passed by. One spring night when I was very-late-night cruising as usual at the local rest stop, Bill's younger brother Chris (by five years) showed up in the parking area. I couldn't believe it. I hadn't seen him at all since graduating high school. He cruised me big time, and when he realized who I was, absolutely begged me to get together. Sure thing! We left the rest stop to find some dark quiet place.
Chris had grown up to be very handsome. When we got in my car together in a dark and quiet area, he said to me "Oh god Tom! I can't believe we're actually here together! I used to look out the window of my room at you and Bill in the swimming pool and jerk off while looking at your hairy chest and your speedo! I used to think of you all the time and loved when you would come over to the house."
As he was saying this he was feeling up my cock in my jeans and we began making out big time. Chris was a great kisser, which I love. Kissing is one of my favorite activities when I get someone who really knows how. After a good while of making out, he leaned back and said "please let me unbutton your shirt . . . I really need to see your chest hair again!" Yes! He was very sexy in the way he slowly opened my shirt, breathed on my chest hair, played with and sucked my nips, moaning all the while "So nice! So good!" It was REALLY hot and he was getting me extra turned on. He was talking all during this about how he used to dream about doing this with me when he was in middle school and I was in high school with his older brother.
Of course, I was beyond rock hard and fully throbbing and hurting in my 501s from all this wonderful treatment and breathless adoration. I begged him to "please take my cock out Chris! Please!" He immediately went down and slowly unbuttoned my fly, pressing his face into my crotch. "Oh Tom! I need to suck you so so much!" When he got my really hard cock out of my 501s and tighty whities, he gasped and said "It's so fucking big!" I clearly remember how much my cock throbbed when he said that to me. Right away he dropped his mouth on my cock and started sucking and moaning.
Chris really was putting me into heaven . . . his tongue, lips and sucking mouth were driving me to craziness. He was very accomplished and knew exactly what he was doing. Every now and again he would pull off and say something like "So big! Everything I knew you would be!" Sooner than I wanted this heaven to end, I told him that I was going to cum, he moaned yes noises over my cock in his mouth, I heard a distinct "please" wimper from him and that did it! I felt my cock go fully rigid and I sprayed into his sucking mouth. He was happily moaning loudly as he swallowed the load I gave him. It was so so so good! He took his time swallowing my load and sweetly sucking and licking my cock and balls for quite a while after I came. It was so nice and he was so sensuous as he was doing that. Saying things like "I love your cock Tom! I loved being your cocksucker! This is why I love sucking cock! Thank you!" I of course was also saying sweet things to him, telling him how wonderful it felt and how nice it was when he would look up at me when my cock was in his mouth. When he finally lifted up from my cock, we kissed again for a long time, and when I asked to return the favor, he said "No thanks . . . I came in my pants a few minutes before you came in my mouth." I told him that next time I would go first.
As we were kissing and chatting for quite a while after all this, I mentioned that his brother had flatly refused to go down on me so many years before. Chris said, "What a stupid asshole he is! He really missed something special!" Unfortunately, in those days before email and cell phones, we never got together again. Pity.
I will never forget my two separate experiences with brothers Bill and Chris.