*Happy Halloween to everybody! Hope everyone had a safe holiday. I want to thank my proofers Ad. and Braan. Be sure to check out their stories, "Tests of Friendship" and "Some Kind of Bliss". Even more thanks go to Ad. for the awesome friendship. HEY YOU! If you've emailed me recently, you may find familiar pieces in the story. My chats with you have helped inspire some stuff. :) Thanks for the inspiration!
*A quick reminder to all that this is a fictional story dealing with romance between young men (very cute young men, might I add). Please check the warning in Ch 1.
*I hope you enjoy reading as much as I enjoy writing-on that note, the chapters WILL keep coming, but probably every 1 1/2 - 2 weeks, because of school. If you don't see a chapter for a while, email me and kick my cyber-butt. That usually works.
*Any comments you may have, please feel free to send them to: kaiser_goof@hotmail.com ~Jeff
Previously on Twist of Fate... We finally broke our kiss as Lance said breathlessly,
"You taste good." I blushed and smiled.
"That's because I brushed my teeth today. You ought to try it sometime!" I jested as I made a sour face and pretended like his lips tasted like cigarettes.
"Oh thanks a lot!" I could only smile as I reached for the keys and opened the door. We both wandered down the hall into the kitchen.
"That's funny, I must have left the light on this morning," I said, noticing the kitchen was illuminated. I kept walking further into the house until I froze in my tracks and my heart stopped at what I saw in the living room.
"Mom! Dad! You're home!"
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- Chapter 8
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"Hey there sluggo!" my dad exclaimed. "You been keeping the fort tied down while we've been gone?" I just stood and stared, still freaked about the fact that they were home.
"Hi honey. We missed you," my mom said as she got up off the couch. She walked over and gave me a hug. As she pulled away, she suddenly got a look of concern on her face, "Are you okay, hon? You look like you've seen a ghost." My heart was racing. My head was spinning. I had forgotten to breathe. I tried to speak, and this is what came out of my mouth,
"Hi mom... dad... sorry, I just didn't expect you to be home so soon, that's all..." I looked again at my parents, and something was weird this time. They were looking right through me, as if looking at something that was right behind me. I quickly realized what it was they were looking at. OH CRAP!
"Well, who's your friend, Billy? Let's not keep him a stranger," my mom said as she moved closer. I swallowed my shock and spoke up.
"Right! Sorry. Mom and dad, this is my friend, Lance. Lance, these are my parents, Ron and Deborah." Like the perfectly polished performer gentleman he was, Lance appeared from behind me and reached forward to shake my parent's hands.
"Mr. and Mrs. Wilson? It's nice to meet you." Wow. How did he do it? He was totally peaceful and calm, I was a nervous wreck. Come on, they were even MY parents!
"It's nice to meet you, Lance. But please, call me Deb. Mrs. Wilson is Ron's mom," my mom said, laughing at her own joke. Lance and I started to chuckle, easing the tension in the room. "So how is it you're a friend of my Billy? You look familiar, have I seen you around before?" Lance and I both looked at each other and Lance answered the question,
"No.. actually, we just met this weekend. I'm a performer in a little band that came to town, and Billy and I bumped into each other after the show."
"Yeah mom, it's so funny how much Lance and I have in common. He loves music just about as much as I do!" I just wanted to get out of this poke-and-prod time with my mother, but I could see it wasn't going to happen easily. At least my dad had gone back to watching TV. I could see my mom thinking, and that's always a bad sign!
"Music group, huh? What do you do? What kind of music group is it?" I swallowed, and gave it all to Lance. If he could get out of this one, he'd deserve an Oscar for sure.
"Well, it's a little traveling group. I sing a little bit, but mostly play the guitar. The BASS guitar. We're on vacation now, and I've appreciated Billy showing me around San Diego. Speaking of vacation, Billy tells me you were in Tahoe. How was your trip?" Dang, he's good. Cool as a cucumber, Lance chit-chatted with mom about the vacation, totally averting attention from the situation. I had to maneuver behind my mother so she couldn't see me struggle to keep from laughing. They finally quit chattering and mom asked,
"So, what are you doing home so late? What have you been up to tonight?"
"Well, we went down to Herb's club." My dad's head turned around, and he said,
"The club? Really? That's great. How's Herb? How was the show?"
"Oh Herb's great, and he says hi. The show was great. Lance and I, and a few guys from the band went down to check it out. They loved it. They thought it was great."
"So Billy, is Lance staying the night tonight?" my mom asked. I wasn't ready for that, and it caught me off guard.
"Wha... uh, well, not like... um, yeah. Yes. Yeah, Lance and I are going to listen to some music and hang out... if that's okay?" I half-said, half-asked. I had to remember that the house was no longer JUST mine.
"Of course, it's okay. Lance, you're welcome in our house," my mom answered.
"Thanks! I appreciate that, Mrs. Wil... uh, Deb." We all smiled, and my mom turned around and walked back to the living room with my dad. As soon as her back was turned, the smile left my face, I grabbed Lance's shirt and I dragged him quickly back to my room. As soon as the door was closed, we turned to each other and gave each other looks that said, 'AHHHH, I can't believe we got ourselves out of that one!'. I grabbed my head and fell sideways on the bed. Lance took a similar dive into my chair. I was shaking my head while laying down, when I finally looked over at Lance. The instant we made eye contact, we both cracked up at the hilarity of the situation. When we finally calmed down, I said,
"Man Lance, you're good. I was going to die when I saw my parents in there. I did NOT expect them to be home. WAIT... Ohmigosh... OHMIGOSH! We just KISSED on my porch while my parents were home!" We both laughed for a bit. I continued, "Well, I guess we're here to talk. But I'm still not sure how to do that."
I glanced over at the door out of subconscious paranoia, perhaps thinking mom or dad had a glass to the door, listening to our conversation. The last thing I needed was to become totally nervous that my family would find out something that I wasn't ready to share with them yet. Lance saw this and said,
"Hey, it's a nice night. Let's get some sodas and hang out on the patio? It's far enough away from the living room." Geez, this guy could even read my mind and know I wouldn't be comfortable even close to my parents. We both got up and headed for the kitchen. We grabbed a few of the leftover root beers and marched right past my parents on the way out to the patio. The patio was a bit disconnected from the back of the house, around the corner. We both pulled up a chair and sat, sitting a few feet from each other, staring, wondering who would speak first. Suddenly developing balls of steel, Lance inhaled greatly and said,
"Well, here we go. Billy, I like you. I like you a lot. I've known a lot of good people in my life, but none have ever treated me the way you do. I'm SO glad that I know you, and I'm scared to death that I'm either going to wake up from a great dream one of these days, or you're going to decide you didn't want this relationship in the first place and take off," Lance had begun his statement looking at me, but wound up focusing on some imaginary spot on the ground towards the end.
"Look at me," I directed. His head tilted up and looked. "Not trying to sound repetitive, but hey... I like you too! You're a really special person; you're caring, kind, funny, loving, strong-willed. These are all things I want to find in a friend; and someone who is so much more than a friend. This whole thing of having a guy friend is new to me. I'm not sure if it's new to you, but I still need to get used to it!" A concerned look came over my face as a slight realization came to mind. "Lance... is it... NEW to you? Have you ever found someone you thought was that special someone?" Lance paused and looked passed me. I waited in baited anticipation. Lance finally spoke up.
"I've never found a person that could be that special someone... not yet." I blushed. Lance continued. "I've really only started looking this last year or so, but still being in the closet and being in the band, I can't really run and ask people, 'by the way, are you gay?'" We both chuckled at that one. "It just wouldn't be a good thing. No, I'm just a wandering soul, fantasizing about that perfect relationship that I hope and pray I will find. My dream guy would be able to make me laugh, but more importantly be entertained by MY goofy sense of humor. I want someone who doesn't mind just hugging and cuddling. I want someone who can stand being apart for an hour, or a day without a page or a phone call, but is excited to hear my voice or touch my skin. I don't so much want a physical relationship, but more of a great GREAT friendship," Lance continued. "I've made some choices earlier in my life that could almost be classified as mistakes, because I was young, dumb, not sure what was going on. But now I know that a relationship is formed on love, trust, and understanding."
I sat amazed at how deep Lance was getting. He'd always been the goofy one of the friendship, and now he was waxing eloquent about relationships and life. His words assured me of his intentions, but his 'choices' from earlier in his life intrigued me. I decided not to press it, though. When he wanted to share, then I'd be all ears.
"Wow Lance, it seems like you have it all figured out. I sure hope you find someone that great!" I said as a joke. Big mistake. Lance's eyes widened, then his head dropped. OH CRAP. "Oh, Lance, I was just kidding. What I meant was... oh, it was just a joke... I mean... I could never be... well, I could... I mean... Am I..? UUGH!" I gave up as I realized I had ruined the moment. Remove foot, insert ocean liner. Why didn't I think before I spoke? Stupid stupid stupid. I shut my eyes, just wishing I could have somehow reversed time and cancelled out that last comment.
"Ha ha! Gotcha." My eyes snapped open, and I saw Lance smiling and laughing at me. What a thespian. I started shaking my head, realizing I'd been had. My face was starting to turn red from embarrassment and a touch of anger, but it all quickly turned into smiles as Lance's smirk and giggles became contagious.
"Some day, Lance Bass... SOME DAY. All the little pranks like that you pull on people are going to come back to smack you in the head."
"Yeah? Well, until that day comes, I'm going to have my fun!" We sat and giggled for a bit longer, until I brought the conversation back on track.
"So.. where does this leave... us? I mean, I guess I'd like a definition of our relationship. Are we... well, I mean, like, you and I... are we..." I SO wanted to say the word, relieve my mind, make it official. The thought of it being true was both exciting and terrifying. I'm sure Lance was thinking the same thing. WAIT. But what if it wasn't what Lance had in mind? What if it wasn't what he was thinking? What if he freaked out and jumped up at the utter thought of us being...
"Boyfriends?" There was a silence that you could have driven an 18-wheeler through. I smiled bashfully and nodded while Lance continued, "Well, I was hoping you'd maybe consider it. I'm interested in trying if you are, and there's a first time for everything, eh?" I pulled my chair closer and said,
"...and a second... and a third..." as I leaned forward to kiss Lance. The kiss wasn't even that effective because we were both trying to contain our giggles while maintaining lip contact. Giving up, Lance reached around my shoulders, and pulled me into a hug. It was nice. I was hugging my 'boyfriend'. I didn't think I'd ever be able to say that. And he's really cute, too! How neat is that?
In a panic, we both released when we heard it. With big eyes, we made eye contact for a split second before instinctively scooting the chairs apart and grabbing our sodas, both assuming a more macho pose. We had to prevent any suspicion from arising in the person's mind that just opened the sliding door. Lucky for us, the patio was disconnected, or we'd have surely been caught!
"Billy? Lance? Hi guys," my mom said as she came around the corner and into eyeshot. "I don't mean to bug you, but I just wanted to let you know I've pulled down your sister's bed for Lance. It's all ready to go. Your dad and I are going to bed, so I wanted to say goodnight." She walked over to Lance and said, "Lance, it's a pleasure meeting you. It's good to see Billy has good taste in friends. You're welcome here anytime." Lance stuck his hand out and shook my mom's.
"Thanks Deb. I really appreciate that. I'll be sure to keep that in mind."
"Goodnight, honey," my mom said as he came over and kissed me on the forehead. "I love you."
"G'nite mom. Love ya, too." She started walking away, but turned around,
"Oh yeah, Lance... you said you were in a traveling band. Are you from San Diego?" A strange feeling began to fester within my gut. I couldn't figure out if it was a good feeling or a bad feeling. But it was there. Lance responded,
"Well, actually, we're based in Orlando. We're pretty far from home."
"Orlando? That IS far! When do you head back home?" I could feel that sensation turn into a black hole and begin sucking my insides out. OH MY GOSH. How stupid could I have been? Why didn't I think about it? I looked at Lance with fearful eyes, and he caught my gaze with an equally shocked look.
"We leave on Saturday. The whole band takes off and we'll go back to plan our next tour." He was looking at my mom, but I could see sadness slowly creep into those perfect eyes of his. My heart dropped from my chest into my left shoe as the realization registered in my mind that my new boyfriend would be leaving me.
"Oh, well have a great trip! You can stay here any night you need until you go," my mother said, totally oblivious to the situation. Lance didn't speak, but rather faintly nodded. Lance looked as if he couldn't have uttered a word if his life depended on it. My mom turned around and walked back into the house, leaving us to deal with a new dilemma.
Lance assumed his normal pose with his elbows on his knees, with his chin on his fists, looking at the ground in thought. Still in a daze, I leaned back in my chair with my hand resting over my closed mouth. My eyes scanned the sky as if the answer was somewhere printed in the stars. My head slowly shook as a dozen possible outcomes flashed through my head, none of them very good. We sat there in silence for a minute or so until Lance forcefully got up, causing the chair to slide back behind him. He walked off the patio and onto the lawn, where he began pacing. I know he was thinking about the same things I was.
"I don't care that I'm in the band. I don't care if I'm leaving. I don't care about the rest of the guys. I don't want this to end as quickly as it's begun." Lance caught me off guard with his words. I looked up as he spoke these, seeing him walking towards my chair. He kneeled down as he spoke his last line. "I want to know you more." The fire in his eyes was strong-I'd never seen him so passionate about something before. He didn't have a smile, nor did he have a frown. His face was full of seriousness, care, and concern. My heart just melted hearing his words and seeing his face, but I knew what I had to say.
"Lance, what you're suggesting is crazy! You can't jeopardize the band and your career for this! This is just little 'ole me here. You have to think about yourself in the long-term."
"I AM thinking of myself... getting to know you would make me so happy, you don't know! Happiness is the key to life, to success." I sat stunned again at the amazing grasp Lance had on his emotions.
"Lance, I uh,... don't know how to respond. I don't know what to say."
"Then don't say anything at all. We can't figure this out tonight, that's for sure. So let's not ruin our time together. But I promise you, I'll figure out a way for this to work. It may not be easy, but we gotta take this one day at a time." I just had to give him a hug after that one. There we sat, two destined souls in turmoil, knowing that the path ahead was not going to be easy. I WANTED to trust Lance, but what could he do to make this thing work? I mean, he was in 'NSync, for crying out loud! How could he 'make it happen' when I'm just some dude from the West coast? These thoughts went though my head as I sat there holding my guy, but I knew I had to give it to Lance if I was to have any peace in the matter. 'Here ya go, Lance. It's all yours.' It was my turn to be the leader in the relationship, so I spoke up.
"Hey, let's head inside. It's getting late, and we both could probably use some sleep. We'll talk some more in the morning, okay?"
"K. Good idea. Let's go." We both got up and walked into the house. We didn't dare hold hands or anything, for fear of getting caught. We went into my room where I fetched Lance a pair of shorts. He went off to the bathroom to change, while I changed into my generic shorts and a T-shirt in my room. I emerged a minute later and headed down the hall to my sister's room, only to find Lance looking out the window of the room, with the lights off, standing barefoot in shorts and his undershirt. I'm glad I had lots of practice being quiet and sneaking up on my little brother-Lance never heard me! I just leaned against the wall and watched him. He was so beautiful. His golden hair was dimly lit by the moonlight. His face looked so soft and smooth. His chest was so softly defined underneath his shirt. But tonight, just 24 hours since we shared our feelings for each other, he seemed to be so much more than an infatuation. He was a beacon, he was my lighthouse. He was so strong, and that strength rubbed off on me. I wanted to be just like him, he was my role model. I only hoped I had half the positive qualities that I saw in him. What a great guy.
"What are you thinking?" I said softly, trying not to startle him. Surprisingly, he didn't jump or start at all.
"Me? I'm just wondering how long you were actually going to stand there staring at me without saying anything," he said stonefaced, still looking out the window. WHOOPS! Caught! Hahaha.
"Oops! You got me!" I said, embarassed, turning beet red. Lance turned to me and smiled, reaching for the tall halogen lamp in the corner. When the room was illuminated, he walked over to the bed and sat down. I was tempted to climb in bed with him, but common sense prevailed and I pulled up the desk chair next to the bed. I propped my feet on the bed as I said,
"I guess we've got a big day ahead of us tomorrow. What are your plans?"
"Well, what are YOUR plans? Tomorrow's the day before we leave, so I want to hang out with you as much as possible."
"Hmmm... I guess I don't have anything. I'd like to hang out with you, too." Lance smiled, and began sliding himself under the covers. He laid on his stomach, with his head on the pillow, his face turned towards me. He was hugging the pillow, so his head was propped up.
"We both had better get some sleep, dude. This whole airport fiasco really drained me."
"You're telling me, Lance! I'm the one that had to chase all after you, remember?"
"Yeah yeah, you're just complaining because you had to go jogging. Deal with it... you got some exercise." I got up and turned off the lamp, while responding,
"Hey, a boy's got to keep fit for his boyfriend!" Lance chuckled into the pillow.
"Boyfriend. Yeah, I like the sound of that." I sat down in the chair again, now in the darkened room, and scooted so I was next to the bed, parallel with Lance's body. I once again reached over and placed my hand on his back, this time with confidence rather than timidity. Once again, Lance let out a light moan. I rubbed his back lightly, occasionally paying attention to his shoulders, neck, and the back of his head. His eyes were closed, and the smile on his face told me he liked it. It didn't take long, however, for him to drift off to sleep. I stayed with him for a few more minutes, but Mr. Sandman was also performing his magic on me, and I decided it was time to hit the hay myself. I slowly got up and leaned over my sleeping friend, lightly kissing him on the side of his neck.
"Goodnite, Goof. No matter what happens, I'll never forget you." Making sure he was tucked in, I sauntered down the hall to my room. Strangely, my mind was blank as I rolled into bed. So many stimuli in the last few days, so little time for my brain to process them. While my life was a bit stressful at the moment, I wouldn't give it up for anything. Instantly, I was asleep.
OOOOF!
"What the..." Was the sky falling? I was sleeping on my stomach, but I had been awakened by this forceful pressure on my back. What is going on? The pressure shifted a bit, and I felt two hands on my shoulder blades. The hands grabbed my shirt and tugged gently and rhythmically, almost as if I were a horse and my shirt was the reins. I had a pretty good idea who was on my back, and I intended to pay him back for this rude awakening.
"Wake up Billy! I missed you!" WAIT. That wasn't my boyfriend's voice! I turned over to find my kid brother, Scotty, straddling my back and butt, with the biggest grin across his face.
"You little twerp!" I said as I grabbed him and pulled him into a wrestling-style hug. I got his head in a headlock and began to give him a noogie on his scalp. He wailed and hollered, trying to pretend he was in pain. I mean, what are big brothers for, anyway? The laughter coming from him made his hollers seem very unconvincing. I missed my little brother, and it sure was good to see him. I have a very strange relationship with my little brother-we got along well. That's strange because it's a very uncommon occurrence, considering the many many sibling relationships out there. I mean, we have our disagreements, and we occasionally drive each other absolutely batty, but we clear it up quickly and are instantly best buds again.
I finally released him, and laughed at the fuzzy spot of hair I had created in the middle of his head. He was laughing too, trying to swing playful punches at me. I just swatted them away, and teasingly slapped him in the face for every swing attempt he made at me.
"Cut it out, Billy!"
"Why, Scott? You started it! You're the one that woke me up, remember?"
"Oh yeah. Well, I probably owed you one."
"It's good to see ya, Scotty. Did you just get home?" Scotty scooted down the bed and told me every detail about how he had gone camping with the McGees. He told me how cool the campground was, and how cool the water was, and how cool his best friend Adam was, and how cool the drive home was... you get the idea. He had gotten back in town late the night before, and just came home now.
"So whatcha been up to, Billy?" I thought for a moment, then decided to give him the altered version of my week.
"Well, I got back from Virginia on Sunday, went to a concert with Sarah on Monday, and I've just been hanging out and working the rest of the time."
"Mom said you had a friend over. Who is it? Is it Ryan?"
"Friend? OH!!" I hadn't forgotten Lance was over, but it hadn't run through my mind yet that morning. "Ah, yeah... no, it's not Ryan. You actually don't know him. You'll meet him when he gets up."
"Oh, okay. Cool. Mom said I have to unpack before I can do anything today. Geez!"
"Imagine that! Well, out. Get out. Shoo!" I smacked him off my bed, and he raspberried me as he walked out the door of the room. I shook my head at what a baby he was. He wasn't quite a teenager yet, and I loved him just like he was. Young, innocent, and fun. I was dreading the day when mother nature would decide to give his balls a squeeze and get those raging teen hormones coursing through his veins. I was scared that our relationship would change for the worse when that happened. He wouldn't think it was 'cool' to hang out with his older brother. He wouldn't want me around. He wouldn't run to me for help on his homework. He'd start liking... girls! AHHH! I mean, wherever his hormones carry him, I'll be happy. But I know that I won't be able to protect him when somebody latches onto him in his innocent, curious state and drags him off to 'educate' him. Scotty's like a little angel, and I wanted that to last as long as possible. Lord, keep Scotty protected!
"Oh my gosh!" I heard Scotty's startled voice from the hall, and it piqued my curiosity as to what had caused his expression. I slid out of bed and walked out of my bedroom and down the hall, to find Scotty up against the wall, his jaw down at his knees, staring. At whom? Lance, of course. "Oh my gosh! Omigosh omigosh OMIGOSH!!!"
"Scotty! Chill out, bro. I told you you'd get to meet my friend when he got up. Well, here ya go. Scotty, I'd like you to meet..."
"LANCE FROM 'NSYNC!" Lance was smiling, but looked very tired. Although his eyes looked like they hadn't quite opened, he looked like he was getting a bit bashful.
"Yup, you got it right. This is my friend, Lance."
"But how... he's LANCE! You know him? He's in 'NSYNC! Do you know who he is? I mean, I was... well, Adam was... we were just listening to your CD! Oh my gosh!" Every ounce of adrenaline in his body was now active, causing him to jump up and down in excitement in front of us. He was causing enough commotion that my mom came down the hall. "MOM! Billy's friend is LANCE!"
"Oh, I know that, Scotty. I met him last night."
"NO! You don't understand. FROM NNN'SSSYYYNNNCCCC!"
"What are you saying, Scotty? What's NNN'SSSSYYYYNNNNCCCCCC?" We all laughed at both Scotty's attempts to explain Lance and my mother's mocking of his efforts.
"MOM. LISTEN TO ME. Remember that CD that Adam has? With that one song you like? The one about 'God spending a little more time'? That's him!"
"Oh yes, I like that song. I remember when Adam played it in the car for me. What do you mean that's him?"
"THAT'S LANCE! That's Lance from 'NSync! He's in that BAND! He's Lance from 'NSync! He sings that song on the CD. That's HIM!" Both Lance and I had turned red from shock, embarassment, and uncontrollable laughter. Quite the combination, I know. But at this point, we made eye contact and knew we'd have some explaining to do. Especially as my mom, as slow as she was, was starting to get Scotty's ravings. Mom's eyebrow perked up, squinting at Lance, starting to put the connections together.
"Now I know why you look familiar. I've seen your face before! On the cover of that album. Is that really you?" My mom asked, getting more excited as she continued. Totally embarrassed, Lance answered,
"Yes, ma'am. That's me. I do sing with that group."
"I had no idea! You said you were in a band last night, but I had no idea! Well, how neat is that? Billy, did you know Lance was a celebrity?" Man, my mom really knew how to overexaggerate.
"Yeah, mom, I knew who he was. Why don't you give me a second to explain how we met. Are you ready for a pretty twisted story?" I asked. Both Scotty and mom nodded slowly, with big eyes. We all walked into the living room and sat, and then Lance and I both shared the details of how we met, going ALL the way back to that fateful and wonderful day back at the airport. Mom seemed entertained by the story, but Scotty was enthralled. He had the biggest puppy dog eyes as he sat and watched Lance talk. Also, when I made eye contact while I was speaking, he would look at me with a 'my brother is a god' look on his face. I never took my brother to be an 'NSync fan, so I was surprised about his enthusiasm over meeting Lance.
"Well, that was great. For everything Lance did to help you out, you better be thankful to him, Billy!" my mom said at the end of our tale.
"Deb, I have to disagree. It was Billy that has done so much for ME and the guys. He's been a great tour guide for us, and a great contact and friend. He treats us like people, when most fans out there treat us like objects to be stared at." Lance looked over at my brother, the twerp, going gaa-gaa on him, and added, "Present company excluded, of course." Lance reached over and playfully punched Scotty, causing him to blush and giggle.
"Well, nothing has changed on this end, Lance," my mom said. "You're a friend of our Billy, and you're always welcome here. Anytime you or anyone else in the group needs a time-out while you're in the area, just call us up. We'll do what we can!"
"Thanks, Deb. I really appreciate that! I feel like I've picked up a new family in the short time I've been here!" Lance glanced over at me, and it took all we both had in us to keep from laughing at the slight reality of his words. We all talked for a few minutes more before I spoke up.
"Well, there you have it. Unfortunately, we have to get Lance back to the hotel for band stuff. So I must peel him away from this unruly crowd." I grabbed Lance's arm and pretended to be a guard dragging him to safety from a crazy mob. I dragged him all the way back to my room so we could get ready.
"Get something out of the closet. We both know we're the same size. You have most of my clothes at the hotel, anyway!"
"Yes Sir!" Lance said as he dove into the closet. "I really like your family. Your parents seem really cool, and your brother's just a bucket of funny."
"Yeah, they're great. Very supportive. And Scotty? Eh. Just smack him and he'll go away. Seriously, he's a great little guy. I love that guy to death."
"I can see why. He's a lot of fun!" I nodded in agreement, and proceeded to clean up my room, starting with my bed. I went over to the desk to straighten up some papers, when I noticed the red light blinking on the message machine. I thought it was odd that it hadn't been beeping, but I quickly realized I had turned the volume off. I cranked the volume up and played the new messages.
"BEEP. Billy! Where are you? It's Amber. Jamie is PISSED! Where are you? It's 2:45, and you left a LONG time ago. You better get back here quick before Jamie fires you! You had better come in with a cast on or something, too. Hope everything's alright. Get back here quick!"
"BEEP. Billy Wilson? This is Jamie from Mervyns. I don't know what happened to you today, but you just disappeared. Did the warning you signed mean nothing to you? It doesn't seem like it was the most responsible thing to do by leaving without notice, now does it? I don't know what could inspire you to disappear without a warning, but it better be good. I guess you're really not interested in the job here at the store. I need you to call me right away with an explanation of what happened. Good bye."
I fell into my chair, stunned at the recollection of yesterday's events. I had left work on my lunch break, but never came back because of the mix up at the airport. I had completely forgotten about Mervyns after I found Lance. It hadn't even crossed my mind. How could this have happened? How could I have been so stupid? I felt the warmth of Lance's hands press lightly on my shoulders in an effort to comfort me. Obviously, he had heard the message and knew exactly what had happened. Even his touch wasn't quite enough to sooth my anger.
"I've lost my job! I know it! I went running off to the airport yesterday, and I totally forgot that I was on lunch break. If I hadn't heard you guys on the radio, I'd have made it back to work on time. Now I've lost my job." Lance was somber.
"Billy, I'm so sorry. It's my fault, it's all my fault. I should have told you about my plans. You went to the airport because of my stupidity. I can't believe I didn't tell you. I'm sorry Billy. I'm sorry." Lance was so sincere, it almost broke me. But not quite. I was still mad. At myself, at him, at Mervyns. At him? WAIT. Could this be? YES. I was mad at Lance. This was a first, but it was true. I was mad at him.
"It's okay, Lance. It's not your fault, I need to take the responsibility." I lied. It WAS his fault. "You better go get ready. I guess I've got a call to make. Go get the first shower." I winced at my fake attitude. He really had made me mad, but I was still being nice to him. Lance's face frowned, possibly because he felt like I was pushing him away. Well, he was right.
"Okay, I'll shower. Be back in a minute." Lance grabbed his clothes and left to go to the bathroom. I didn't even turn around to watch him walk away. I couldn't give in that easily. I took a deep breath and reached for the phone.
"Hello? Yes, cash office, please. Thank you." I waited and dreaded what was about to happen.
"Hello, Jamie?" PAUSE. "This is Billy... yes... ye... yes, I KNOW. I did leave yesterd......... Well, I do have a reason, but I don't think you'll understand...... yes......yes, of course......I realiz.........yes ma'am...... Well, you see, a good friend of mine was leaving on a plane, and I didn't get to say goodbye, so I rushed down to the airport to try to find him...... yes, that's the reason...... I know...ye......yes...... well, because I forgot. I forgot I was working, I got distrac...... yes... yes, I did sign it......yes.........I KNOW, but is there any way...... But Jamie, it'll never happ...... I DO promise...... no...... no...... no, I guess I wouldn't............ yes...... I understand......yes.................. well, it sounds like your mind is made up......... yeah, I guess. Whatever......... I don't know, Jamie, whenever I can. I guess I'll be a bit busy looking for A JOB NOW!" SLAM.
I covered my face with my hands, still in disbelief that I had just gotten fired. The second job of my life, and I got canned. I was the star employee (with the exception of a FEW attendance issues), and I got the boot. And all because I ran down to the airport.
I heard the bathroom door open, and turned around in time to see Lance emerge in my clothes. "Hey, can I borrow some deodorant?" Lance asked. I nodded and pointed to the dresser, but neither word nor smile left my lips. Lance froze.
"Oh no... You called, didn't you. What happened?" He was so caring.
"Just drop it." I was so cold. Lance's eyes flared, shocked at this side of me he'd never seen before.
"Billy, I... I'm... I don't know what to say. I'm so sorry."
"I said don't worry about it. It's my thing, not yours. I don't want to talk about it." Lance took the clue and shut up. Just by looking on his face, I knew I had hurt him. But it didn't register to me. I turned back around and stared at the answering machine. I hated Jamie. I hated the fact I had lost my job. I hated the fact that Lance going to the airport was enough to distract me from my job. But most importantly, I hated myself for treating Lance the way I just did. I was mad, but I didn't have to be a jerk. Something caught my eye, and I glanced over to see Lance slide a sheet of paper onto the desk and quickly retreat out of the room. I looked at the sheet. It had a few words scribbled quickly on it, and I recognized the paper as the envelope Lance had included the concert tickets in way back when. It had gone in the trashcan, but Lance must have retrieved it. It read,
"Billy- The shower is open for you. I'm so sorry. LB"
I decided to focus on the first sentence, and ignore the apology... for now. I showered for a long time-long enough, in fact, to cause the water to go cold. I hoped the shower would clear my mind and anger and I'd walk out a new person. I wonder what Lance was thinking during this whole time? He was probably pretty hateful of ME right then...
"Hi Peter? Yeah, it's Lance...... I'm doing alright...... Yeah, I did. His family is great! I'm here at his house now......... well, I'd ask him, but he's in the shower. Hey listen, the reason I called was to ask a really BIG favor, and it has to do with Billy. I'll explain better in just a second, but......well,...... how many positions do we have on our touring staff? REALLY? That many? Wow. I had no idea. Well, the favor is... well,... do you think we could stand to have one more?......uh huh............ Really?...... yes, that IS interesting. Go on..............."
I walked out of the bathroom to hear talking and laughter in the living room. Curious, I walked closer, staying out of view of those seated. I could clearly hear Lance's voice. He was telling jokes!
"So the guy turns to the American and says, '...we're called New Zealanders, NOT New Zealandinians!!'" Both my mom and brother cracked up laughing at what Lance had said. I must have had to be there for the first part! A small smile emerged on my lips, but I quickly wiped it away. I was still mad! I cleared my throat and continued into the room.
"Okay, well, all done. I guess it's time to get going, right Lance?" Lance looked at me, and he knew there was still something wrong.
"Uh, yeah, I guess so. I've got to get back to the hotel to do... stuff." I looked away as not to see Lance. I knew his eyes would have warmed me up, and I didn't want that. I walked back into my room, and Lance closely followed. He silently gathered his clothes from yesterday while I grabbed my keys and wallet. We made eye contact once, and he started to speak-but quickly shut his lips before any sound came out. Oh how I wish he'd have talked. I would have loved to hear his voice. But hey, he WAS respecting my wishes not to talk about it. What a jerk I was.
"Are you ready to go?" I asked.
"Yeah, I guess so. I've got everything."
"Alright. Let's go." We left my room and walked out to the kitchen where my mom was working. "Well mom, we're gunna take off. Lance has to get going, and I've got some errands to run."
"Well, I'm sorry to hear that you're leaving so soon, Lance. It really has been a pleasure to meet you."
"The pleasure was mine. Thank you so much for your hospitality. I really appreciate it."
"Oh, hush. You're family, as far as I'm concerned. I wish you the best of luck with the band. I think you've picked up a few fans in this family! Come here..." Mom walked over and hugged Lance. Oh what a great sight, but I couldn't watch. Not yet. As they released, we heard the front door open, and Scotty AND his friend, Adam, came racing through the door.
"See? I told you, Adam! It's him!" Both were out of breath, and Adam was holding his 'NSync album.
"Wow! It's Lance! I didn't believe you, but... it's Lance!" I had to smile at this one. We both did. It was just too cute. I was proud to know the guy that had this effect on people. I just wish I wasn't as stubborn as I was right then-then he could have that effect on me, too!
"Can I get your autograph? I LOVE you guys."
"Sure, Adam. No problem. Thanks for listening to our music!"
"Whoa! You know my name!" Lance and I both cracked up at that one. Duh. He finished signing the cover and returned it to the jaw-gaping boy. Scotty and Adam both fought over the album cover as they ran back to Scotty's bedroom.
"Bye mom. I'll probably be back later."
"Bye, Deb. Thanks again."
"Bye guys. Have a great day. God bless you, Lance!"
We were quickly in the car, driving back to the hotel. The atmosphere was thick, and neither of us spoke. Finally, an irresistible force within me drove me to open communication lines and vent my anger.
"I want to know that I can be honest with you, Lance." Lance paused, then answered.
"Billy, I think with what we've shared so far, you know that to be completely true."
"Okay. Well, I'm going to be honest, then. I'm mad. I'm mad at myself. I'm mad at you. I'm a little mad at the band. I'm very mad at work. In case you didn't catch on, I got fired from Mervyns this morning."
SILENCE. Lance nodded.
"I ran down to the airport because I thought I was going to lose you. Thankfully I didn't lose you. Now, I've lost my only job because of it. But guess WHAT?! You're leaving tomorrow anyway, and I don't really know what that means for us. I could walk away from this deal with a hopeless long-distance relationship, shattered emotions, and no job. And you? You're off to your perfect little home in Orlando with mountains of fan mail, and a great career, and all sorts of people to be friends with. It won't take you long at all to forget about me. Sounds like a pretty crappy deal on my end, eh?" Lance looked straight ahead, lips pressed together. He paused for a few seconds, and began speaking.
"Billy, I am SO sorry you lost your job. I feel terrible. I know you really liked that job, and I feel totally to blame for the whole mess. I SHOULD have told you about the airport thing. Now I feel like I've cost you your job, and that's killing me inside. Please please PLEASE accept my apology. You don't have to forgive me right away, but please accept the apology." I looked over at him, he was looking at me, and I could only nod slowly and accept his words. "Good. Now you listen up. I've got a bone to pick with you." Lance then started in on a course I didn't expect him to take.
"Listen here, Billy. I promised you I would find a way to make this whole thing work. There IS a way, and I'm going to find it. I'm not going to give up. HOWEVER, apparently YOU have very little faith in either my abilities to keep promises OR my commitment to this friendship. Either way, I'm hurt. I am VERY hurt. Yes, that's right, YOU have hurt ME. How would you feel if you went to the greatest lengths to make something happen for somebody, and they repaid you with a complete lack of faith?"
SILENCE. This time, it was on my part. Lance continued, raising his voice a bit.
"You've done nothing this morning but be cold to me. You don't think this is hard for me, too? About 5 days ago, I met the greatest guy, and was lucky enough to get in a relationship with him. Now, I've got to leave him tomorrow and go fight tooth and nail to find a way to stay in contact with him. You know what? I didn't fall asleep last night when you left. I was still awake. I stayed up most of the night trying to think of solution after solution of how to make this work. This is TEARING me up, Billy. I might not show it, but it's killing me to think I could be permanently apart from you......... Grow up, Billy. Don't you dare start whining about how hard it's going to be for YOU. Don't think you're the only one feeling the pain here. You have to TRUST me, and I have to trust you. We have to take this one day at a time. It's the only way we'll make it." I could feel my eyes begin to well up, and I knew we'd both die in a car crash if I didn't pull over. I found a parking lot and slammed into park. I tossed my head back and covered my eyes, trying to hide the few hot tears that were coming from them. Lance also had a few wet rollers down his face, but he still managed to maintain his angelic face.
"Man, we must look like the sorriest pair," I said, commenting on our tears. "Lance, you're right and I'm SOOOO wrong. I DO accept your apology and I DO forgive you, but you HAVE to accept my apology for being such a jerk. I'm sorry. Man, am I sorry. To think I treated you like that... I was a jerk. I knew I was a jerk to you, but I couldn't stop myself. I'm sorry."
"Yes, you were a jerk. But don't worry about it. It's in the past. Nobody said this was going to be easy. I just need to know you're in this 100% along with me." I nodded my assurance. Lance smiled slightly and reached over to wipe away a stray tear.
"Okay. Well, I guess we can head back to the hotel. Now don't think you're out of the blue, yet. I'm still kinda mad at you."
"Oh yeah? Well I'm still kinda mad at you!" I said, smiling through my red eyes and tears.
"Fair enough. There isn't a rule that says boyfriends can't be kinda mad at each other. But mad people can still talk to each other, right?"
"Oh, FOR SURE! I'd have to rewrite the rules if that was the case."
I pulled the car into gear, and drove the rest of the way to the hotel, looking FORWARD TO, not DREADING the next stage in Lance and Billy's great adventure.
Okay, I tried to prevent a 'cliff hanger' ending. It's the best I could do. So for the handful of you that wrote about that, THANKS, and there ya go. I've come to really appreciate the friends I've made through this story. I care about you all, and thank you for your love and support (sorry, that sounds like a Bartles and James commercial). Until next time... buh bye!
~Jeff kaiser_goof@hotmail.com