Sorry, Chapter 15 was a misprint and was supposed to be chapter 14 so ignore chapter 13-15 and let this one be Chapter 15... anyways...
This is just a story - This in no means implies that Justin Timberlake is gay. If he is, thats his business, but once again - it is just a story.
CHAPTER 15
"What?!" I found myself yelling. "What the hell do you mean it was a setup?"
Justin stood up and motioned with his hands for me to calm down. "Just listen to me before you get mad, please."
I shook my head and leaned back in my chair. "So what, you didn't like me?! You got tired of me?! Was that the plan? To get rid of me, so you stage a phony phone call... that would explain why I haven't heard from you in almost five years."
"No no, you got it all wrong," Justin was saying. "I didn't know about the phone call until after you left. Honest."
I sat there for a moment. "Then wait, I am confused."
"When Joey made that phone call -"
"Hold up, Joey was the one who made the call? He was in it on it to?"
"Would you just please shut up and listen Rj!" Justin finally managed to say. It took me by surprise, and angered me a bit, but I bit my tounge anyways.
"Okay," He finally said. He sat back down in his chair and faced me. "I didn't know about the phone call until after you left. When you left that is when Joey told me he had made the phone call. Naturally, I got upset just as you are now, but then he explained why he did it. See, Joey said that there was a guy from the papparrazzi that was on to you and I. The guy saw us together that night when we went to that resaurant. He managed to get a few pics... He was going to rat my sexuality out all over the magazines. But, the pictures he took didn't prove anything and couldn't use them. So he started to follow us."
"So how did Joey catch on to this guy then?" I asked suddenly curious.
"This guy had the nerve to start questioning Joey about it," Justin explained. "It was at the hotel and Joey was down in the lobby waiting for Lance because they were going to go and have breakfast. Well this guy walked right up to Joey and was asking him things like how close him and I were, and then dramatically started asking about you. Like where you came from, and were you a family member of mine and what not. Somehow Joey caught on to this guy. It might have been the camera hanging around the guys neck that gave it a clue. So Joey managed to get a name out of this man. Obviously he wasn't the smartest paparazzi, and Joey made some calls. He pretended to be with some other magazine. Thats how Joey caught on to this guy."
"The phone call?"
"Right," Justin said, forgetting, I suppose, what point he was trying to make. "Joey contacted our manager who happened to be Lou at the time, right before we went through that whole court battle with him... anyways, Lou and Joey talked about it for a while and realised that if you and I were to be found out it, could ruin the whole image we have. So Joey made a rash decision and made the call... It was for our safety."
"Oh," I said. It had made a little bit more sense now. But then another thought hit me. "Justin?"
"Yeah?"
"If that is the case, why didn't Joey just tell us we might need to lay it low for a while? And on that thought, why didn't you call me and let me know about the call? In fact, why didn't you ever call me? I waited for you. You won't believe how many nights I went to sleep and bawled my eyes out... thats not easy for a me to say out loud. But I really did. I cried my eyes out every night over you."
Justin sat there for a moment looking at me. Once again his beautiful blue eyes pierced into mine. At one time, they had been youthful, full of light; full of hopes and dreams; they shined at some time and you found yourself lost in an ocean blue.
Now, they were older, more mature. The light had gone out with the hopes and dreams and replaced with a dim light with few hopes and dreams either fulfilled or faded away along the shores of the ocean. They had wisdom, knowledge; filled with insight. But that didn't stop me from getting lost in them.
The Justin I last saw was just a boy, like myself and just a little older. He was learning who he was, and enjoying life in every possible way. Longing to be part of the world as he saw it, and be only the person he wanted to be. The Justin now seemed completely different. Of course he had grown up, but he was a man now. He seemed to find who he was, though he didn't show it much. He saw much of the world and probably much more, and had his fair share of enjoyments and like very person, strife. It was just hard to believe I still loved him. I realised that as I looked at him. Cameron was a lucky woman.
"My manager told me it not be a good idea to call you so soon after you and I were seperated," Justin explained, breaking my thoughts once again. "Lou suggested that we throw this paparazzi guy way off the trail by me pretending to date girls and such. Anything to keep this guy from publishing anything about you and I. It wouldn't be just me being ruined, it would have been the whole group, and you."
"I understand that Justin," I told him getting frustrated. "But you never called at all. Not once. I had to sit there and watch you on TV, listen to you on the radio, all of those things just in hope that you would give me some hint that you were thinking of me and that somehow we would see each other again."
"I tried! I tried calling you. But they made sure I was always busy. Doing photo shoots, promos, concerts; don't think that I didn't think about you. It tore me up inside every single waking hour that I thought about you. I missed you so much. I would lay down at night and cry and just think about you. Clutch onto my pillow and just wish you were right there beside me. But it just became impossible."
I almost cried. For the first time in a long time, I was getting to hear how Justin had felt. The reason why he couldn't call, his thoughts of me, how he had missed me. I found myself smiling. It had made me happy. He did really care about me.
"What about the girls you dated?" I asked.
"Britney and I were forced to say we were dating. Lou knew that would gain us some major attention and thats what would show that paprazzi how wrong he was. Plus, he said that I hadn't been dating anyone and surely people would start questioning. So Britney and I went along with it. After a while we couldn't take it anymore. Plus she had fallen in love with Wade Robinson, one of our choreographers."
"Wow," I said. "I remember hearing about that. Of course, they made it come out like she cheated on you."
"Lou's idea once again," Justin said. "But Britney and I felt it was a little harsh and she didn't want the wrong image. But of course they went with it anyways. I had to console her while she cried her eyes out. After a while Wade couldn't take it, and he ended it with her. Once again, I was there to help her get through it."
"So how did Alyssa come into it?"
"Alyssa Milano? Right. That was an accident. See, one of the road crew, who had no idea about me knew Alyssa. Alyssa claimed she liked me and all and the guy kind of hooked us up through a blind date. Trust me, I did not plan on that. I never made it official, obviously and neither did she. But once again, the press went crazy. We decided to be friends after that."
It all made sense to me now. Except...
"Cameron? What about Cameron?"
Justin didn't say anything.
"Justin?"
He turned back around and faced the gadget board and began messing with them again. The music changed and went to a heavier, more soulful upbeat song. This song was catchy too. "I don't want to talk about it."
That threw me back a bit. "Justin why not?"
He looked at me. "Not right now, alright?"
I shook my head, the anger rising up in me once again. I stood up, grabbed my satchel and headed for the door.
"Where are you going?" Justin asked suddenly jumping up and following me.
"The least you could do is provide me with answers Justin. I waited five years for them, in case you didn't know," I said as I walked out the door.
"Oh what the-" Justin said as he continued behind me. "Would you stop? Oh my gosh, from the moment we saw each other again you have acted like a child... "
I stopped. "Excuse me?"
I heard him sigh. "All you have done is be mopy, and sad and pathetic. Not to be too harsh. True we have not seen each other in a long time, and yes I deserve to give you some explanation. I will admit that. But I don't have to give them to you right away. Respect my feelings as well RJ. I am trying to respect yours. I am just not ready to go down that road yet in talking about Cameron."
I turned around and faced him. "You were able to tell me about Brit and Alyssa."
"Like I said Rj, respect my feelings. I have been respecting yours. I would never force you to say or do anything that you didn't want to do."
My eyes shifted to the floor. Once again, Justin had convinced me I was being foolish. "Alright then. I will respect you. But... this isn't easy for me."
"Tell me about it. I really didn't think I would see you again to be honest." I heard him say. "Please don't take that the wrong way."
"I am not," I said. "I didn't think that I would ever see you again either. I really didn't think that I would be interviewing you and Cameron. I almost didn't. But Lana told me that I shouldn't let fear stand in the way of doing this. So - here I am."
"Fear?" Justin asked. He took a step towards me. "What do you have to be afraid of?"
"Justin? Oh my- you! I was scared of you! I was scared to see you. To talk to you. I didn't know if you ever wanted to see me or anything like that. I have been going out of my mind. I didn't know if you had moved on and in the process began to hate me or something. There is alot for me to be scared of."
Justin laughed. "I would never hate you. I never have. From the moment I saw you I knew that I liked you. I liked you alot. I couldn't think of anything else. You were like my... you were everything."
I felt a warm tear run down my cheek. I had started crying and didn't even realise it. "But I am not your everything anymore, Justin. Cameron is... right?"
Before he could answer I walked out of the studio. Out into the hot, California sun. The tears were now pouring, and I found myself sobbing. Walking to the curb, I wiped my eyes the best I could and began to flag down a taxi. It didn't take long for me to get one.
I looked back at the studio in time for Justin to walk out. He had a pained expression on his face as he stood there at the door, not moving. I smiled a fake smile and then hopped in the cab. I managed not to look back as it pulled away from the studio. That made me cry even more. Once again, I was having to walk away from the one guy, I still found, I cared about more than anything in the world.
**
I had picked my car up from the golf course and I began driving. Where, I had no clue. But I was getting the hell out of Los Angeles.
There was a big traffic jam, and after sitting in it for a couple of hours, I was finally driving past the city limit sign. I forced myself not to think of the confrontation with Justin just a few hours before. It was no use in thinking about him. I decided I would turn on the radio.
It happened to be on a country station and Dierks Bentleys voice rang out of my car speakers. "Lot of Leavin Left to Do." I smiled. This seemed like the perfect song for that moment. I had been listening to country alot lately. Mostly, I felt, it brung me a little closer back home to Texas.
I kept driving, enjoying the rugged and yet smooth voice of Dierks. Smiling, I kept my eyes on the road. Off to the right of me, the sun was just beginning to set. Just continue driving.
Dierks went off and Cyndi Thomson came on. "I'm Gone." She was singing about how she had given her man so many chances and she finally was leaving. I learned as I was driving that I truly loved my country music.
My cell phone rang. I looked at the caller ID. It was Lana. I started to pick it up but then stopped myself. I needed some time for myself. No interruptions. Just take the little car as far as it can go. Don't turn around.
I didn't even look at the road signs as they passed me by. I drove for another hour and stopped at a gas station to get some gas, then I was off again. I drove, the whole time forcing Justin out of my head. After a bit of this, I pulled over to the side of the road. They had George Strait playing. "Last in Love." I started to cry as I listened to the lyrics.
I pictured Justin as he stood in the doorway of the studio. He had looked so hurt.
I shook my head and told myself to stop it. That it was enough. Justin had moved on, so why was it so hard for me? I could do it. Somehow.
I pulled the car back onto the road and drove for another couple of hours. It was finally dark and the stars were shining bright above me in its blackened sky. I finally pulled into a small motel and rented a room for the night. I decided to leave my cell phone in the car. I knew that by now Lana had probably called a kagillion times. Soon she would have the police looking for me. That oddly, didn't seem to phase me.
I layed there on the motel bed, and clicked on the TV. Steel Magnolias was showing on HBO. I smiled, remembering that I had watched this movie with my mother when I was younger. It brung back some good memories.
I don't remember seeing the whole movie. I remembered listening to Dolly Parton's character Truvy talking to the other females; just gossiping as her character was supposed to be potrayed as I was lulled to sleep.
Sunlight poured in from the small motel window when I awoke, and I decided to hop into the shower. Since the road trip was planned at the last minute, I ended up having to put on the same clothes as I was wearing.
I walked outside and looked around. The motel was out in the middle of nowhere. Desert was all that could be seen for miles around. I came to the conlcusion that I was in Nevada. Just one state over. I looked down the road; the way I came. Then I looked down the other end of the road. The way I was heading before I pulled into the motel. In my mind, I was battling myself to see if I had wanted to go back home now, or keep driving. I decided to keep driving.
Hopping into my car, I glanced at my cell phone which sat in the passengers seat. It said I had 52 missed calls. All of them from Lana. I smiled. It was nice to know she cared about me. A part of me felt bad that I was ignoring her calls. But the truth was I wasn't just ignoring hers. I was ignoring everyones. This was me time.
I headed down the road toward my unknown destination at 80 miles an hour, my country music blaring. I didn't realise it then, but Justin hadn't entered my mind once that morning. All that was on my mind was the road in front of me, and where it was possibly going to take me.
CHAPTER 16
My stomach gave way about noon, so I decided it would be time to eat. I had seen nothing but the road for the past fifty miles, so I was beginning to wonder how long it was going to take before I was able to get my stomach satisfied. After a few more miles, a blue sign on the side of the road displayed a fork and a spoon, a gas pump, and a bed, indicating to me that there was a gas station, some food places, and an inn not too far ahead.
Five miles later, I saw a McDonalds sign as well as a Shell Gas Station sign. I took that exit and eagerly parked into the McDonalds parking lot. I didn't bother to lock the car as I got out, figuring nothing else was around for miles, that my car should be safe.
Inside, I sat by a window, staring out into the oblivion as I ate. Desert was no longer what I was looking at. Now it was nothing but trees. Trees and grass for miles. I had no idea where I was, but I didn't question it. The whole idea was to get away and get my mind off of things. I made a note to myself that this was the first time I had ever done anything so spontaeous as this. I smiled. This was kind of cool in a way.
I was back in the car about twenty minutes later. I decided to go ahead and fill up at the Shell station seeing how I didn't want to be stopping anywhere else anytime soon. Obviously, though I did not know where the hell I was heading, I seemed to tell myself there was not any time to waste. Since I had left Los Angeles my only need was to be behind the wheel.
I glanced down at my phone realising it hadn't been ringing in a while. Nothing was displayed which meant my phone had probably died. I didn't bring the charger, and I did not have one for the car, so I was out of luck with a phone. Oh well, I thought. It's not like you were going to answer it.
I had been driving for a couple of days. Stopping to get gas every now and then, and renting a motel room at nights. I started to notice that I was running low on money. I definately needed it for gas, so I decided instead of getting motel rooms, to just find a rest area and sleep in the car. It sounded simple enough.
I had lost all track of time and what the date was. So I couldn't tell you what date and time my car decided to start smoking under the hood. All I know is that I had just reached a sign that said "You Are Now Entering Rogers City Limit."
I pulled over on the side of the road. Getting out of my car, I walked to the front prepared to open the hood. I had never been the type of person to know anything about cars, so this was all new to me. I didn't expect to know anything when I popped the hood, but I figured it couldn't hurt. I ended up coughing up a storm, as I lifted the hood to see what the problem was. All I could see was smoke. It smelled like a sweet smell, but at the same time, it stank.
I groaned and walked back around to the drivers side; the hood still open. Sitting in the drivers seat I reached for the phone.
Shit. I forgot that it was dead. So I couldn't call Roadside Assistance or anyone. Not even Lana.
I thought about what her reaction would be if I told her I had taken a little trip and had no idea where I was. I laughed to myself knowing she would freak out. Hell, she was probably freaking out right now. I hadn't called her in days.
I heard the sound of a vehicle coming up, not too far behind me. I glanced back to see a small blue pick up truck, that looked like it was made in the 60's slow down. A young boy with a cowboy hat on peered at me as he drove by. Suddenly, his truck pulled along side of the road in front of my car.
I didn't know what to think. I was already a bit nervous. I get like that with strangers. People I didn't know.
The boy hopped out of his truck. He looked young. About nineteen. He was tanned, with brown eyes. He was wearing some brown cowboy boots, some dark blue wranglers, a white t-shirt, and of course the straw cowboy hat. He was actually kind of cute.
"Got some car trouble there I see," He said as he walked towards me. He had a strong southern accent which made me question to myself for the first time, where the hell I was.
I hopped out of the drivers seat and back to the front of the car. "Yea, you can say that."
"Ya know at all what's wrong with it then?" The boy asked as he walked up beside me and looked under the hood at all the machinery.
"No, I am not much of a car person. All that I know is that it was smoking really bad."
He looked at me and smiled. "You from up north huh?"
"No, why do you ask?"
He chuckled. "No reason, I guess."
"I'm from Texas," I told him. "But I recently moved to Los Angeles."
"California eh? What brings ya to these parts?"
I opened my mouth to say something, but nothing came out. Probably because I didn't know how to answer that question. "Where exactly am I?"
"Well," He said taking his cowboy hat off and wiping the sweat off his forehead. "I would say from the looks of it, you are in Rogers, Arkansas."
My eyes got real big. "Are you serious!"
"Ain't got no reason to lie to ya." He put his hat back on his blonde head. He looked back down at my car. "Well I guess the only thing to do is to take it to the shop and let'em figure out what is wrong with your car here."
"I don't have the money to be taking it to anyone to fix it," I told him.
"I see," the boy replied.
I threw my hands in the air in frustration. "Great, just great. Why the hell did I even think that this would be a good idea. Did I even think something like this could happen? No, because I don't think. I never think. Which is why I always seem to have something like this happening to me...Of course, RJ! Take a trip. Get away because things don't go your way...and when the hell did I become so self absorbed? I used to never be like this. Did I? FUCK!"
"Whoa, whoa," the cowboy said. "Calm down. Obviously, you been through alot. Just calm down. It ain't all that bad."
I looked at him feeling stupid. I just had a temper tantrum on the side of the road on the Rogers City Limits in front of a complete stranger.
"I have no idea what I am going to do," I finally told him. "I kind of just took off from Los Angeles at the last minute. I have been in the same clothes for days, my cell phone is dead, and im low on money. Kind of stupid eh?"
He shook his head. "Nah, it ain't stupid. Sounds like you was trying to get away. Sometimes its good to get away. Life can sometimes get frustrated."
I smiled. This guy seemed nice.
"Still don't know what I am going to do." I told him.
He closed the hood of my car. "Well, I got a friend in town that owns a mechanic shop... I can see what I can do. But there can't be any promises its going to be fixed today."
I didn't see any other choice. "Alright I guess."
"We are going to have to leave tha car here though," He told me. "Til' we can find someone to come out here and tow it back to town."
"That's alright. I guess I can stay here with it until then."
"Nah, don't do that. Come on, hop in tha truck. It may take hours before a tow truck comes back out here. I'll take ya to town. Get ya something to eat or something."
I looked back at the car. Then back at him. He sure was cute.
"Okay, let me just grab my things from the car." I told him. I grabbed my satchel and cell phone and locked the car up.
A few moments later, I was in the truck riding with the cowboy, going into the small town of Rogers, Arkansas.
Looking over at the cowboy, I thought of Justin. Once again, I pictured him at the doorway of the studio with that hurt look on his face. Somehow Justin had a strong hold on me. It kind of sucked to know that someone had your heart in their hands. Justin seemed to know it, which hurt even more.
"What is your name?" I asked the cowboy.
"Ray." He told me. "Ray Higgins."
I smiled. Such a country name. It was kind of adorable.
"Whats yours?" He asked me.
"Rj." I told him.
"Rj? Just Rj? What's it stand for?"
"Ronnie Junior." I told him. And then felt my face go red. My name was just as country as his once you say it out loud.
"Nice to meet ya, RJ," Ray said. "And welcome to Rogers, Arkansas."
Okay, there is Chapter 15 and 16... Please email me with your comments.. please