Ok, sorry that it took so long to finally get this story out to you all. I have dealt with so many things, and hardly any of them good. (Notice the new email address?) I had to change it for safety, anyways- here are the chapters that you have been waiting for.
This is just a story - This in no means implies that Justin Timberlake is gay. If he is, thats his business, but once again - it is just a story.
CHAPTER 13 -
"What do you mean you didn't take the job?" Lana asked me. She was in her room fidgeting with her camera on her bed.
"I didn't take it. I don't think I am ready to do something like that right now." I told her.
"So you turned down a paycheck, a good job, and the chance to meet and interview some really cool people?" She paused. "Sure, anyone in their right mind would do that. People would actually be crazy if they took that job."
"Stop being so sarcastic," I snapped.
"All I am saying is you have been wanting to do something like this since I met you. And now that you get the chance you don't take it. Why not?"
"I-" I stammered. There was no response that I could giver her. How could I tell her that I could not do this because I would have to come face to face once again, with my ex boyfriend. And not just him this time, his current girlfriend.
"What is scaring you so bad? Something is bothering you.." Lana commented. She set down her camera and studied me for a moment.
"Nothing is wrong with me, Lana."
"So you say. I am not stupid... It is someone you have to interview."
I smirked. Lana was good. From the time we met, she was always able to read me like a book.
"I bet this interview has something to do with the reason why you are always so gloomy." Lana continued. "You knew someone famous?"
I didn't know what to say. Lana scared me sometimes because it was like she was a mind reader. This time she was hitting way close too home.
"I don't want to talk about it," I told her as I turned to leave.
"It's Justin isn't it?"
I stopped dead in my tracks. How the hell does she do that? I slowly turned and faced her.
"Don't ask how I know." Lana said. She patted a spot on the bed next to her. "Come and talk to me."
I did as requested. My heart was now thumping madly in my chest, and my breaths were getting shorter and quicker. I had never talked to anyone about Justin except for Kim. Now I was caught like a deer in headlights, forced to talk to Lana.
"I picked up the vibe you two gave when I introduced you two at the photo shoot." Lana told me. She grabbed my hand. "And for the first time, I saw a little something in your eyes. Something that was never there the whole time I have known you. It was only there for like a split second, and then... and Justin, he looked so surprised when he saw you."
"He hadn't seen me in almost five years." I managed to tell her.
"So you two go back... Were you two lovers?"
"Well, he was my first love. We didn't plan on it. It just happened. My cousin Kim and I saw them in concert - it was one crazy summer."
"What happened?" Lana asked me. She squeezed my hand.
"There was this phone call. Like someone threatening me. They knew about Justin and I." I explained. "We had to cut the summer short. I had to go back home for my safety and for NSync's. I never heard from Justin since."
"I gotcha." Lana said. "So you have been hanging on to him, hoping he would call- something."
"Yeah. But he didn't. So to see him at the photo session was a huge surprise. I didn't expect that."
"Is this why you don't want to do the interview?"
"Yeah. That's what I meant when I said I did not think that I was ready," I told her. "I don't think that I could handle it."
Lana laughed. "RJ! Please! Do not tell me he is the reason why you are turning down this whole job?"
"That's what I just said."
"And I thought I knew you!" Lana said sarcastically.
"What do you mean?"
"Do not let him run your life. That is all he has been doing these past five years. He is all you have thought about. You're every action seems to be acted out onto him. Why? Why are you moping around about him? This is life RJ! WHY ARE YOU LETTING IT PASS YOU BY?"
I was shocked by what she had just told me. I opened my mouth to say something, but then her words started to sink in...
"Oh my gosh," I said aloud. It was all true.
Justin had become my life and had managed to take up every single inch of it. I had spent the last five years moping about him and just letting life pass me by.Sure, he was my first and only true love- but what if I had missed the chance to love again? What if I had the chance to let Justin go? To end the pain that I was feeling.
"Lana, you are right. I cannot believe how stupid I was being... I think it is time for a change."
"Wow," Lana said. "Good to know you actually listened to me."
I stood up and walked into the bathroom where there stood a fulol length body mirror. Glancing into it, I almost cried. What had I become?
Black hair, black clothing; the depressed child who wasn't letting me grow up and be the man that I needed to be.
"Lana," I called. "Grab my things, I think we are going shopping."
CHAPTER 14
It took me moment to grasp the concept that I was once again blonde. Clad in some blue jeans, a white tank top, and a blue long sleeved dressed shirt which I kept unbuttoned, I stared at myself in the mirror unable to take it all in.
"You look good." Lana told me. "Now, go tell Becca you are taking that job."
I nodded and slowly walked out the door.
I managed to actually talk to Cameron on the phone. She was more than happy to set up an interview with me and requested that an appointment be made that follwing Saturday on the golf course where Justin would be playing golf.
I took a deep breath. That Saturday had come way too fast and I found myself sitting in my car staring at the golf course in front of me.
Lana had to convince me heavily to go through with this. She had told me that the first step in getting over something was to face it once and for all. In my case, do the interview and hope to hell you would never have to do another one with him again.
I glanced in my rearview mirror, silently telling myself that I was going to do a great job. That IT was for the job and for myself. To not worry about Justin. Just be strong and do it.
I slowly got out of the car, grabbing my satchel and tape recorder, and began walking to the building to get into the golf course.
As I reached the doors, I was surprised to find Cameron coming out of them, smiling as she made her way towards me.
"Hi," She said. "You must be doing the interview huh?"
I smiled. I couldn't help it. She seemed so sweet.
"Yeah, I am not too early am I?"
"No no, not at all," She said, looking out onto the golf course with a sigh. "Justin is out playing golf, so it might be a while before we are able to do the interview. Do you mind if it takes a bit longer than usual?"
Once again I found myself smiling. Her personality had somehow already captured me. "No, I don't mind."
"Okay, good," She responded. "I just talked to Justin before he headed out on his little golf cart, and told him I was thinking of getting a bite to eat. Would you care to join me?"
I didn't know what to say.
"Come on, my treat." She said as she grabbed me by the hand and led me to her car.
We ended up at a little restaurant just a couple of blocks away from the golf course. Hardly anyone was dining at that hour, so it was easy for Cameron to get us a table without being mauled by adoring fans. We settled in at the back of the resaurant in a booth that was barely noticeable from its surroundings. I took it as a sign that if the resaurants business picked up, Cameron would have been a bit harder to spot on first sight.
I set my satchel down, and then realised that I may as well go ahead and take my tape recorder out, in case Cameron had given me any good comments for the interview. I showed her the recorder and she nodded, approving that it was okay to record.
I pushed the RECORD button.
"You sure you don't mind?" I asked her.
"No, not at all," Cameron responded. "I am glad you at least let me know that you decided to record now. You will not believe how many people interview you without your consent or even knowing that they are recording you."
"Really? That doesn't sound professional." I told her.
"It isn't. But it was nice that you actually took into consideration how I felt about it before you done it. How long have you been doing this? You could teach those people a thing or two."
Just then, the waiter appeared and asked us if we would like anything to drink. I ordered an iced tea, Cameron did the same.
"This will actually be my first interview," I answered. "I just got this job for the magazine, so..."
"That's great!" Cameron exclaimed. "I'm happy for you, really."
"Thank you," I said.
"Well, I am honored that we are going to be your first people to interview." Cameron told me. "This is going to be one of the first interviews that we have done together, so its kind of exciting for us."
My heart started hammering in my chest. I had totally forgotten why I was here. To interview them both. Cameron had been so nice and so sweet that I had got caught up in her personality that I was completely unaware that in just a little while I would be interviewing her and my ex boyfriend, who was now her boyfriend. Was that possible? To actually like your ex-boyfriends companion? It seemed possible since I had seemed to like her ..I was beginning to understand why Justin liked her so much. Why the hell didn't he tell me he was bi - if he was...
"You okay?" Cameron asked, breaking me out of my thoughts.
I took a deep breath and smiled. Telling myself once again, to calm down.
"Yea, I am alright," I told her.
The waiter brought us our drinks and then asked us what we would like to order.
"I miss eating out like this," Cameron said once the waiter was done taking our order. "I don't get to do it much. On the count of me being so busy and all. There is just so much stuff to do, and not enough time to do it all."
"I wouldn't know," I said. "I am not a huge celebrity. Is it harder than what people think?"
"Of course. I mean you have the movies to do which can take two to six months to make or longer, flying to here and then flying over there... you are never in one spot. And you can't go anywhere without someone taking pictures of you, or being asked for an autograph, or people asking you if you can hook them up and make them famous too. You don't really have privacy at all. Someone is always around. Even when you are at home. You can't imagine how many people you can find stalking around outside your home. It gets crazy."
"Wow," I said, taking a sip of my tea. "No, I can't imagine."
"It sucks, because now that Justin and I are together, with our schedules - it can get tough. We never get to see each other."
I found myself glancing around the resaurant as soon as she had said his name. I had no clue why. A part of me felt weird. Like I was lying to her. That I had to keep it a secret that her boyfriend had once been mine a long time ago. That if I had looked into her eyes, that she would see it. See it all, and that would be it right there. I would never tell her. I don't think I could. It was all over anyways. Justin and I. That was no more. He had moved on, and I was just starting to learn myself, to let go.
The food came, and we I pushed those thoughts out of my mind. We talked some more as we ate, about her past films and careers, and her new films that were coming out. The friends she had. The more she talked, the more I grew to like her. I felt like we were friends...
Just as the waiter set the ticket for the meal down on the table, Cameron's phone rang.
"Hello... oh hey baby!.... I am at that little diner down the road... The one I pointed to going to the golf course. Want me to bring you something back?... Okay then...Oh! I am with the guy that is going to interview us.... Really nice. We are having a good time......... Okay, sure. We are on our way." She hung up the phone.
"I don't think I have to take a guess on who that was," I said forcing a smile.
Cameron laughed. "I swear, he is the sweetest guy in the world. He makes me happy," She paused, as if in a daze. Then suddenly, "Okay, well I guess we are doing the interview now. We have to go and pick Justin up - He has to stop by the studio and check up on some things. I guess you can interview us on the way. Will that be alright?"
I raised my eyebrows. "Uh, okay. Sure." Was all I could say.
I am not going to lie. If I had thought I was nervous before, this has to be nausia kicking in, because as we pulled in to the golf course, I felt like vomiting; I was that nervous. I was alright when we had left the restaurant, but the more I thought about it and the closer we were coming to Justin, I felt like throwing myself off a building.
I could see Justin waiting for us; he was wearing some kacki shorts and a white t-shirt with a gray stripe going across the chest. He had on a little golfers cap, clutching onto his bag full of golf clubs.
We parked and Cameron got out; me slowly getting out after her. I watched silently as she ran up to him and threw her arms around his neck and gave him a kiss. He smiled as they pulled away, and said something inaudible. I really couldn't hear. I was just amazed at how real they looked. They really did look like they were in love.
And just like that, I felt the tears forming in my eyes.
Holy shit. Do not start crying now. The idea is to get over him. Maybe it is best to see it like this. I mean.. there is nothing you can do about it.
I wiped my eyes, and forced a smile as the two looked my way... and I saw the color drain from Justin's face. Cameron stood beside him, still smiling and talking; taking him by the hand as she led him towards me.
He looked so uncomfortable. Not like he did at the resaurant.He looked how I felt. Remember? Throwing myself off a building? Yeah, he looked like that.
"Justin, this is-" Cameron was saying as they reached me. Justin didn't give her time to finish.
"RJ," Justin said, holding out his hand as he forced a smile. "Lana's friend right? The photographer?"
Suddenly my nervousness went away, and was replaced by anger. I have no idea why. It just came out of nowhere.
"That's right," I said, putting my hand in his reluctanly. We forced a shake. Justin still looked a bit nervous.
"So you two have already met?" Cameron asked, looking at me with a puzzled look.
"Yeah, he is the photographers friend" Justin answered. "Do you remember that girl I told you about that was doing the pictures for my album?"
"Oh yeah..." Cameron said, still with a puzzled tone.
"Well this is her friend. He was with her when we went out to lunch for the photo ideas."
"Oh, well you never mentioned he was with her?"
"Didn't think it was important," Justin commented.
I bit my tounge.
"Maybe not." Cameron replied. "Anyways, lets go... RJ has to do his interview and we have to get you to the studio. So he will be asking us questions on the way okay?"
Justin looked at me with his blue eyes. For a split second, I was taken back to that time we danced alone in the fancy restaurant. When I was looking into his beautiful blue eyes and nothing else. It had felt so right...
"Alright, I guess." Was all Justin said.
**
I asked them my questions as I sat in the backseat of Cameron's car. Cameron drove and Justin sat in the drivers seat.
I was waiting to ask them about marriage. I figured I would throw that in their when they had mentioned anything about their relationship. So far, they had just been answering my questions on their schedules, and what they planned on doing with their careers in the future.
"So does any of this add any strain to your relationship?"
"Naturally," Justin said. He didn't seem to be into the whole interview. His mind seemed to be elsewhere. "If you had a schedule like ours, it would be difficult to try and maintain a relationship, but we are doing the best that we can."
"Thats right baby," Cameron cooned. She kept one hand on the wheel and placed her right hand on his thigh.
"So how serious are things in this relationship? Do we hear wedding bells in the future?" I said. I decided I may as well cut to the point.
Cameron laughed. "No not yet. I am sure everyone wants to know that. But not really. We are happy with the way we are right now. Things are good."
We pulled into the studios parking lot and Cameron parked the car.
"So do you have any more questions for us RJ, before Justin leaves us?" Cameron asked me, peering at me from the front seat.
I clicked off my recorder and set it in my satchel. "No, I think that is all I need."
"Alright, well baby, I am going to drop RJ off back at the golf course and I then I have to head over to the spa. I have an appointment. Call me when you are ready."
Justin held up his hand. "Hold on Cameron."
He looked back at me for a second then back at Cameron. Then he looked back at me. "Hey RJ, how would you like an inside scoop of my new album?"
I threw a confused look at him. "Huh?"
Cameron looked at Justin. "What?"
"I was thinking maybe RJ could have an extra something to his article. I can give him an inside scoop and let him listen to a few new tracks off my album."
Cameron smiled. "You sure about that? Justin, no one else has heard that but you. NO ONE."
"Hey, I don't see anything wrong with it... I'll call you when we are done." Justin said.
"Okkaayy," Cameron said, turning on her car.
Justin hopped out and opened my door. He motioned for me to get out of the car.
"Go on," Cameron said, also waving me out of the car with a smile.
A few moments later, I watched Cameron pull out of the parking lot as I stood there beside Justin.
For a few moments we didn't say anything. I glanced at him. He was staring at me, but with kind of a grimace.
"What are you doing?" He finally asked me.
"What?"
"You heard me. What are you doing? Why are you here?"
I felt my face go red. Was he giving me attitude?
"I am here for an interview, thank you very much." I told him. I could feel my anger rising.
"Oh really?"
"Yea really," I responded. "Is there a problem?"
"Oh, I think there is. What are you doing?... Stalking me?"
I scoffed. "Oh please, why would I be stalking you."
"Well first you are at the photo shoot, and now you are here," He said. "You going to follow me everywhere I go?"
"I am not following you!" I told him. "I really am here to do an interview. Trust me, the last thing I wanted to do is be near you at this moment."
His mouth dropped. "What do you mean?"
"Exactly what I just said. Should I spell it out for you?"
"I am not a baby. You don't need to spell it out for me... This is just a little strange is all."
"Tell me about it."
He glanced at the studio behind him. "Come on, lets go inside."
**
We ended up in the studio sooner than I thought. I took a moment and looked at all the gadgets and stuff they used to make albums. I glanced through the glass where a chair sat and a studio microphone hung from the ceiling.
Justin sat down at one of the chairs and started fidgeting with some of the gadgets. He motioned for me to sit down. Reluctantly I did.
"It is good to see you though," He said suddenly.
That remark took me by surprise. Not knowing what to say, I gave a weak smile.
"You too," I finally said.
"You changed your hair again. And the clothes," He said not looking at me. "You did have black hair... you looked like one of them goth kids."
"Lana persuaded me to change some things about myself. I figured it wouldn't hurt."
"You two must be really good friends," Justin said. He flicked on a little switch on the gadget panel and I could hear some music coming from some speakers above my head. The tune was catchy.
"We are. We live together. I guess you could say her and her sister are all I have right now."
"So you live out here now? Thats cool." He paused. "How is Kim?"
I took a breath and glanced at the floor. "Uh, well... she is no longer here."
Justin's eyes got big as he looked at me. "Oh man, I am so sorry. I didn't mean to-"
"No no, its alright. Really."
Then came silence. We really didn't say anything. I realised after another few moments that I was staring at Justin. He didn't seem to notice. Too lost into bringing up the tracks on his album. He looked so gorgeous though. I sighed.
"Whats wrong?" He asked when he heard me sigh.
"Nothing," I lied.
Then Justin layed back in his chair. His face seemed frustrated as if something were bothering him.
"Thats it!" He finally said, taking me by surprise. "I have to tell you something."
I sat there not knowing what to say. The music was still going, but his voice suddenly sang along to it. The song was a slow one and it sounded pretty. But I wasn't paying attention to the words.
"What is it Justin?" I finally asked.
"I don't know how to tell you this." He said. He looked at me and it looked like he was about to cry.
"Its okay, you can tell me."
"We haven't seen each other in almost five years," He said. "That's a long time..."
"Yeah," I said. Waiting for him to go on.
"Do you remember why?"
I stopped and thought about it. "I think so,"
"You think so?"
"Well I have no idea where you are going with this Justin," I told him. I could feel my heart beating in my chest.
"You remember that phone call right? You know, that ... phone call?"
"Yes, I think I remember it well," I told him.
"Well..." He told me. "...That phone call was fake... That wasn't a real threat... It was a set-up to get you to leave."
Well there are the chapters.. don't worry, the next ones will be coming a little bit sooner.. And don't think that I made Justin out to be a jerk, because hes not... there's a reason why I ended the chapter that way- don't worry, for all those Justin lovers, because the story does indeed get better - look for my upcoming chapters...