Daniel did find love. Not true love as with Shannon, but his meeting with a new employee was something he knew he'd not quickly forget. His doubts and fears of a possible new relationship were dispelled one night as if in a dream, Shannon's soothing voice within his mind quieting any doubts he may hold.
The Meeting
Eighteen months after Shannon's passing, Daniel's sadness had diminished. He knew he would never forget Shannon, his memory would stay with him until they finally met again, but the sadness was now tolerable. He had kept his close circle of friends from school, not wishing to lose contact. Even after what he had said in the closing of his eulogy to Shannon, none of his friends even now suspected they had been anything but extremely close, and that was the way Daniel wished to keep the matter. The retail outlet Daniel was employed by, had recently taken on a new member of staff. After the usual interviews, the applicant had been chosen by management, as they were impressed by his knowledge of work, his love of life and his acute fondness of sport. His name was Troy, he was nineteen, and this was to be his first day at his new job.
Daniel walked out of his office, turned in the passage, and stopped as if he had run into an invisible brick wall. Troy was standing a few metres in front of him, his back facing him, talking to the section manager. Daniel was riveted to the spot, his lower jaw hung loosely; he was staring, in his own mind, at the back of Shannon. Blonde hair in the exact cut, same height, same definition, same build. Daniel found himself totally unable to move.
The manager caught sight of him and called him over. As Troy turned to face Daniel, it became obvious he was nothing like Shannon facially, even though he was intensely handsome. His face had a chiselled quality to it, piercing deep set blue eyes studying Daniel from beneath blonde eyebrows. Daniel extended his hand and it was shaken by Troy.
"Well," the manager said, "now you two have met, I guess I ought to tell you Daniel, this is your new understudy, Troy." He patted Troy encouragingly on the shoulder. "It's OK Troy, he won't bite, he's really quite user friendly."
Troy smiled, displaying his incredibly white teeth. "Thanks Mr. Matthews, he certainly looks friendly."
The manager frowned. "You're part of our team now Troy, there's no Misters around here. Call me Don, everyone else does, apart from the other things that is." He grinned at Daniel.
Daniel led the way back to his office and pointed out Troy's desk and computer terminal. "That's yours Troy, make yourself comfortable. You'll soon catch on to the routine around here, but if you have any problems, just let me know."
Troy sat at his desk, and it was soon very obvious to Daniel, he was almost a master of computers. Within an hour, he had organised his desktop the way he required it, perused files, and got himself familiar with the schedules. He sat back in his chair, looking towards Daniel. "That's done," he said. "Do you mind if I ask you a question Daniel?"
"Fire away," Daniel replied.
"Before I met you in the passage," Troy said, "even though I couldn't see who it was, I could feel someone's eyes boring into my back. Was that you Daniel?"
"Yeah, it was," Daniel admitted. "Sorry man, but I thought I was looking at..." He stopped as he felt his eyes fill with tears.
Troy was quick to see the reaction. "Sorry Daniel, I didn't mean to upset you." He walked over to Daniel's desk. "Are you OK?"
Daniel wiped his eyes with the back of his hands. "I'm OK Troy, just a reaction to something that happened eighteen months ago."
Troy said nothing, returning to his desk.
Daniel looked at the wall clock. "Hey, it's morning tea time. Did you bring anything to eat?"
Troy grinned. "Just the good ol' sandwiches, do you have a room around here?"
"Follow me," Daniel replied, making his way to the recreation room.
As they ate their morning tea, Daniel could feel Troy's eyes on him. It didn't make him feel uncomfortable, but he could feel an explanation of his previous reaction was necessary. "You want to know why I was upset earlier, don't you?" he asked without lifting his eyes from the table.
"Only if you want to tell me," Troy said. "I've got to admit, I am a little curious, but if it's none of my business, just say."
"Nah," Daniel replied, "it's OK. Eighteen months ago, I lost my soul mate to a disease that was incurable, a very cruel disease which took away muscle control from him."
"Motor Neuron Disease?" Troy asked.
Daniel was astounded. "Yeah, it was, but how did...?"
"My father died from it eighteen months ago," Troy replied. "I know what you mean by cruel, he just wasted away."
"Eighteen months ago?" Daniel asked. "That's the same time as Shannon, he died on January the second."
"Dad died on January the forth," Troy replied. "Mum still misses him like crazy, but I guess I've more or less got used to the idea I'm never going to see him again. It's still hard though. Why were you staring at me so hard I could feel it?"
Daniel felt the tears welling again. "Because from the back Troy, you're the dead spit of Shannon. Same hair cut, same height, same build. I really thought I was looking at him."
Troy's eyes dropped to the table before he raised them to Daniel's. "You were more than just friends then?" he queried.
For possibly only the second time in his life, Daniel felt a surge of anger pass through him. He had only known this guy for half the morning, and here he was almost telling him he was gay. "Even if that were the case Troy, it's not something I want to discuss with someone I've only known for a couple of hours. I loved Shannon, I loved him dearly, and I'm not frightened to admit it, but for you to have said that is a tad overboard for me." He caught a certain look in Troy's eyes, a look almost pleading him not to be angry. "Sorry man, I guess you didn't mean what I thought you did."
Troy's eyes became misty. "I had a soul mate Daniel, up until last year. We were close, real close, and I don't mind admitting we were more than friends. We'd been together two years, and thought nothing could tear us apart, but, after a stupid argument, he told me to go fuck myself, got up and walked out. I haven't seen or heard from him since."
Daniel studied the sad expression on the handsome face before him. "You loved him deeply then?" he asked.
"Like I said, it was more than love," Troy replied. "We were soul mates and lovers, just like I suspect you and Shannon were. As far as I'm concerned, just because one guy loves another, that doesn't make them gay, or queer, or whatever definition you want to put on it. Love is love, it happens naturally, and there is nothing anyone can do about it, no matter how hard they try."
Despite himself, Daniel reached out a hand and grasped Troy's wrist gently. "You're right you know, dead right, there was absolutely nothing Shannon or I could have done to change the way we felt."
"So I was right?" Troy queried.
"About Shannon and me?" Daniel queried. "Yeah, you were right Troy, we were more than just friends, a lot more. You're the only other person who knows Troy, not even my best mates suspect anything other than friendship was happening between us, and that's the way I want it kept."
Troy's piercing blue eyes bored into Daniel's. "That's fine. Do you think you could ever be with someone else?"
For the first time since they had met, Daniel caught an inflection in Troy's voice, something perhaps questioning, something he was not saying. There was no time left to query Troy, they had to return to work.
For the rest of the morning and up until lunch time, Daniel could feel Troy's eyes on him, but he left his questions until the lunch period. Was it possible that Troy thought they could get together, was he looking for another relationship, what was on his mind? All these questions flooded his thoughts until 1pm; lunch time.
Throughout lunch, Daniel felt the piercing eyes on him, searching for answers. He could take it no longer.
"There's something you're not saying Troy," he said, "something you want to ask me; I can feel it."
"I was just thinking about the question I asked you at morning tea," Troy replied, "about you ever being with someone else."
"I don't know," Daniel said, "I'd never really thought about it."
"Do you think you could?" Troy asked.
Daniel's eyes met Troy's. "I really don't know Troy, like I said before, I've never thought about it. What are you trying to ask me?"
Troy's eyes dropped to the table. "I never thought I'd ever meet anyone again Daniel, Matt meant everything to me, he was my world." The piercing blue eyes again contacted Daniels. "But I think I did this morning in the passage, and when you took my wrist in your hand at morning tea, everything seemed to hit home."
Whoa, this was becoming somewhat heavy. Sure Troy was more than handsome, and had a body and definition so close to Shannon's it was almost unbelievable, but this was well and truly jumping the gun. Daniel thought on Troy's words for some time before replying. He looked into Troy's incredible blue eyes.
"I guess you mean you think you'd like us to get together," he said. "My loyalties still lie with Shannon, even though he's not here. I would hate to do anything, even now, to destroy our relationship. You'll have to give me some time to think this thing through Troy."
Troy silently nodded his agreement.
That evening at home, Daniel skipped his evening meal, there were far more important things to be considered. He thought back to Troy's words; he'd only known him a day, and already he appeared interested. What would Shannon think about this if he let it happen, would he approve or disapprove? He thought about his own feelings, finding himself quite attracted to Troy. He was certainly a good, genuine guy, there was no doubt, but could he let himself be drawn into another relationship? These thoughts turned over and over in his mind, and he finally threw himself on his bed and closed his eyes.
Was he dreaming, or was someone really talking to him? The voice he heard was unmistakable, but where was it coming from? In his sleep weary mind, he clearly heard Shannon's voice as if he was standing next to him.
"Daniel, don't put aside a relationship because of me. I know how you loved me, and you know how I loved you, but you've got the whole of your life before you and you must not let things pass because of me. Troy is a genuine guy, someone who was deeply hurt by his partners selfishness. That must never happen to you, you must never let it happen to you. It would hurt you too deeply, and it would hurt me deeply knowing of it. Take this advice Danny, I'm happy someone else has found you. You may never love him as you loved me, but don't let the opportunity pass. Life is too important."
Daniel's eyes opened with a start. "Shannon?" he said. He quickly glanced around his darkened room, of course seeing nothing. Where had Shannon's voice come from, was he watching over him?
The following day, as Troy arrived at work and took his seat, Daniel walked across the office and sat on his desk, his eyes on Troy's. "I've been thinking about what you said yesterday Troy, and the answer's yes, I'm willing to give it a go. I don't know where it will lead, I don't know if anything will come of it, but I'm saying yes."
Daniel saw the tears welling in Troy's eyes
"Is there somewhere just a bit private around here?" Troy asked.
Daniel beckoned him to follow, taking him to a storeroom at the back of the building. He closed the door.
Troy was the first to speak. "I cant believe this," he said, "I thought you'd totally rejected me yesterday. What changed your mind?"
Daniel smiled. "Lets just say someone said something to me, telling me basically I was an idiot for not even considering it. Like I said before Troy, I don't know if it'll work but I'm willing to give it a try."
Within three months, Daniel and Troy were almost an item. They went out for the occasional drink together, they spent weekends at one or the other's home, they took long drives together. Nothing at all had happened between them sexually as yet, but this was to change the day of Daniels twentieth birthday. Troy had been invited around to Daniel's home in the evening, and as he had not as yet presented his gift, he thought now would be a good time. They went to Daniel's room and sat at his old study desk, one either end. Troy's piercing blue eyes contacted Daniels.
"Happy birthday Danny, you have no idea how much your acceptance of my proposal all those months ago means to me. I've bought you a small something, just to say thankyou." He handed Daniel a neatly wrapped parcel.
Daniel took the small parcel and unwrapped it. Inside was a burgundy coloured velour covered box. He opened the top and discovered a silver identity bracelet with his name inscribed on the fastener. He drew it from its mounting, turning it over. On the under surface was inscribed, `To Daniel, you mean everything to me.'
Tears filled Daniels eyes as he remembered the ring he had given Shannon. He undid the clasp, slid it on his wrist and re-fastened the clasp, his eyes raising to Troy's.
"Thank you so much Troy." He took a step forward and took Troy in his arms, for the first time ever. As he held him close, all his inhibitions, all his doubts and fears seemed to evaporate; it was as if this was meant to be. Troy held him tightly, feeling a new union between them; he had wanted this almost since the first day.
Troy drew back, his piercing blue eyes gazing into Daniel's. "I love you Danny, I can't help it, you're everything to me."
"And you to me Troy," Daniel replied. "I never thought it would happen, I never believed I would let it happen, but it has, and that's all thanks to one person."
Daniel held his breath as their faces closed the distance between them. Their lips made contact, their arms about each other, their tongues entwined, as each realised this was the start of something special. Troy was the first to pull back.
"Does this mean...?" he asked.
There was no hesitation from Daniel. "Yes Troy, it does. I never thought I'd ever think about anyone so strongly again. If that's what should happen between us, then I'm more than happy to let it."
The next hour was incredible for the two. Troy was as gentle as Daniel remembered Shannon as he entered him slowly, although he was somewhat larger than his previous lover. Daniel reclined on his back, his knees lifted as Troy made his first love to him. Troy kissed him, he nuzzled his neck, making the sweetest love possible to his guy.
Having finished, Troy took his position on the bed, lifting his knees as Daniel entered him. Daniel held him tightly, kissing, nuzzling, knowing this was the start of a union that would last for many years.
They were done, both fulfilled beyond belief; their first time had been more exquisite than either could even have hoped for. Troy raised himself from the bed and sat gazing at Daniel.
"Thanks Danny," he said, "that was better than I could even imagine. My ex was good, real good, but he was nothing like you. That was totally wild man."
"It was good for me too Troy," Daniel replied. "I never thought anyone would come into my life after I lost Shannon, I'd almost steeled myself to be lonely for the rest of my life. That's changed now, and I know Shannon's happy about it. It's weird Troy, but that night, after you'd made your proposal, I heard Shan's voice as clearly as if he was standing next to me. I woke up and called his name, but of course he wasn't there."
"I've heard that before," Troy said, "people can hear the voice of a departed loved one when they need help. Have you ever thought of getting out on your own, you know, getting your own place?"
"I've thought about it, but rent's awfully expensive," Daniel replied.
"Well," Troy smiled to himself, "what would you say to sharing a place, with me?"
"You mean it?" Troy queried, "you and me together?"
"Yeah, why not?" Troy replied. "I've had an eye on a unit not far from work. It's only two bedroom, but its comfortable and spotlessly clean, and the rent's only $240 a week. I reckon we could afford to split that."
"Let's have a look tomorrow lunch time," Daniel suggested. "If it's OK, we can take it. You're not just a pretty face, are you Troy?"
Troy blushed deeply.
The following day, they both inspected the unit, finding it suited their needs adequately. They made the arrangements with the agent that afternoon and moved in on the following Saturday. Within a week, they both felt they had lived there for months.
So there it was, two guys now together, both happy and contented beyond measure. One, who had thought he'd never let himself find anyone else, the other who had been hurt deeply by selfishness. Their relationship still lasts today, they are both happy, but Daniel still loves Shannon before anyone else. Troy realises this and is content with the situation. After all, it is true what is said; true love never dies.
End of Story