This story is fiction. The characters are adults in adult situations.
Warnings: The only person you can ever hope to truly know is yourself. Trust no one; use condoms. If you are not of legal age or in a jurisdiction in which this document is illegal, go way. This is my story. Please respect the copyright. Sojourn1950@yahoo.com
It was comforting to see the same features that were hallmarks to my hometown right here. In some regards this town was just typical small town Texas.
It was easy to be with David. I noticed his wedding ring, not for the first time. I asked if he had family here. His answer was slow in coming, as if he had to think about the question. "No. Not any more. Anne has gone back to Nebraska. She got a promotion a few months ago and it required her to work in the home office. I couldn't leave Doc in a lurch. It may not be a big practice but it's too much work for one. I've thought about leaving once you get settled in."
David had been working with Doc almost five years. They had a third Vet but she left to return to Chicago. She had been here for two years and just got homesick. It was her position I might be filling. I asked about Doc and David's face lit up. He was more than enthusiastic as he spoke of his mentor. By the time he was finished I was expecting Doc to be a cross between Mother Theresa and Albert Einstein and St. Francis of Assisi. Yep, Doc was David's hero.
I had a creeping sensation that all my "outed gay man" declarations were wavering. I wanted this man to like me. I was confident that I would gain his professional respect. I wanted him to like me. Would that be possible if he knew I was gay?
After the grand, albeit short tour of the "thriving metropolis" David dropped me back at the clinic. He was to pick me up at seven and we would get dinner at Julie's diner.
I went for a short run and then used the motel's weight room. I thought about where I was. Not just this town... but where I was with myself. I had severed ties with Robert rather quickly after his announcement of impending fatherhood. Don't get me wrong I love kids. The biggest drawback to being "gay" is that I will have no children of my own. Maybe part of the reason I dumped Robert was that he brought home the harsh reality that I would never be a "Daddy"... that and the lies.
Back in my room I stripped and headed for a shower. I glanced at myself in the bathroom mirror. My short cropped hair wanted to curl at the ends. The color was more dark brown than red, Mamma called it Auburn. I kept it short, otherwise the curls became too obvious. The hair on my chest had grown back over the tattoo. Even seeing the backward, hairy reflection I knew what it said. It told me what I had to do. Before too much was invested by either side I would tell David, then at least I would know whether or not we should even bother with dinner. I wondered where the courage and determination that had carried me through coming out to family and friends... where had it come from and more importantly where was it now.
I was not looking forward to this conversation. I had agreed to meet David in front of the motel at seven. At a quarter till there was a knock on my door. I opened it to find David dressed in polo shirt, jeans and boots. Since I was wearing boat shoes our height was about the same. I had been dressed and ready for some time. That time had been used to explore how to break the news that might very well break the deal.
I invited him in and he hesitated. "Well, I, uh, I thought we could go on over and get something to eat and maybe come back to the bar and have a drink."
"David, I'd like you step inside first. I have something to tell you that may change your plans." David came inside and once I shut the door he asked, "Does this have anything to do with your being gay?" The question floored me. I wondered how he knew. I mean sure I had looked at him, but only when I thought he wasn't looking. Had he been insulted? Was I too obvious? I let my vision loose contact with those blue pools of light and drift down to the tuft of hair escaping from his collar. "Yes, it does. If that's going to be an issue for you or Doc, I need to know now so I can head back home in the morning."
"T R, Doc already told me. Besides, I saw your rainbow sticker when I dropped you off at the clinic. We already discussed it. If you don't make it an issue, it won't become one. I can tell you now that a couple of the girls are already making plans for you. You might want to let the clinic staff know. That's up to you but it might save you some hassles, and the girls a broken heart when they do find out."
His smile let me know he was half teasing... about the girls. I had of course sweated bullets trying to figure a way to tell him what he already knew. Suddenly I was really hungry.
His Tahoe smelled of leather and horses. I couldn't help but wonder if he knew he was going to take me to dinner why did he have to clear the passenger seat of clutter before I could even get in. Maybe this job was not a done deal after all. Even as this thought occurred to me, he interrupted with, "Look, T R, I haven't had anyone ride along with me in almost four months. So pardon the clutter. I just got to the point to where your seat is an extension of my desk at work." His voice was sincere and the blush behind his five o'clock shadow confirmed it.
Once he got the seat cleared off he stopped to look at me. They say the "eyes are the window to the soul". In David's case they seemed more like billboards advertising his emotions. I suspected it would be hard for him to hide his feelings from anyone who knew him well. He also seemed to be the kind of man who just didn't give a damn whether anyone knew how he felt. He just seemed so comfortable in his own skin.
The ride to Julie's allowed us to get to know each other better.
David had been born and raised in a Chicago suburb. He was raised an only child by his widowed mother. His mother had died while he was in his last semester of school. I could tell the fact that she didn't live to see him become a doctor was a serious regret. His wife was his high school sweetheart. They had married the summer after he received his Bachelor's degree. She was in Insurance and had to travel a bit. This place was not really conducive as a hub for air travel. While Dallas was close, it was a pain to still have a long drive connected to arrival and departure. Her promotion meant that now she would have some international travel as well as the already hectic domestic travel. Her move to Lincoln was the only logical solution. I noticed he didn't mention when and how they got together, now.
Julie's diner was not so much a Diner as a spacious restaurant. The food was very good. Good enough so that I would be coming back. David admitted to being a regular. In fact part of his routine was to have breakfast with Julie before he went to the clinic. Often as not he and Doc had breakfast together here.
I told him about myself and my coming out. He listened and asked questions that showed an interest without being too nosy. I found myself telling him about Robert. I was careful not use his name. David never asked. His only comment was that he might have one or both of Robert's books at home. With a devilish smile, "I am sure as soon as I get home I will be going through my historical fiction to find an author living in Colorado. I would like to see the man who stole your heart."
The statement was like a loud fart in church. We both stopped to allow an awkward silence to descend. I felt my skin turn red and watched as David's face took on a crimson hue. Between the two of us, I am sure the AC had to kick in to keep the whole restaurant from getting too warm.
I took a long sip of iced tea and suddenly found my spinach au gratin very interesting. After a moment David cleared his throat and said, "Look T R, I know that was uncalled for and I apologize. I never had any gay friends... at least that I knew about. I didn't mean to embarrass you. I don't normally speak before I think. You're easy to talk to so I think I let my guard down. Will you accept my apology? I'll try not to let that happen again."
I looked up to find him searching my face. His look of concern made me feel warm inside. David was a good guy. "David, Ro... he was... is married. I know that may make me sound like a man without morals but by the time he told me... I was already in love. It wasn't until he told me he was going to be a father that I realized what we had was not what I was looking for. I have sworn that will never happen again. That sticker you saw is part of that promise. That's why I wanted to tell you up front about my orientation. Don't worry, I'm not going to fly any rainbow flag or march half naked in some parade but neither will I deny who I am."
It didn't take long before the mood lightened and we were discussing the practice and staff. By the end of the meal I was looking forward to meeting Doc. It was obvious that Doc was David's hero. No one could be that great a doctor... that much a philosopher nor that much of a man... could he?
When we arrived back at the motel, I invited David to have a drink with me at the bar. He begged off saying he had to update some patient records that he had put off too long. He took a rain check. As he pulled onto the street it occurred to me that I had not enjoyed a meal as good or company so pleasant in a long time. I hoped this job worked out... I could see us becoming good friends. It had been arranged that I would shadow David the next day and then go back home. I still had not asked about other job seekers. It was becoming more difficult to be patient. The more I got to know this place, the better I liked it.
After I got to my room, I realized that I had not packed shave cream and deodorant. I called the desk and asked for directions to the nearest convenience store. It was not far, just down the main highway about a half mile. Just as I turned onto the highway, there were the tale-tale flashing lights of a police car.
I pulled over, turned on the interior light and waited. The uniform told me he was a State Trooper. He asked for my license and registration. As I handed them over I explained that I had a concealed weapon permit and that in fact I had a pistol in my vehicle. He asked me to step out of the car. He must have been six feet three inches tall. I seldom meet a man that makes me feel short. Maybe it was the uniform, maybe it was the fact that he looked like he could fold me in half without breaking a sweat. It might have been the gun strapped to his waist... he was intimidating.
He directed me to the rear of my Wagoneer and asked me to wait. Every direction and every question I acknowledged with a, "Yes sir." I tend to be respectful and courteous to anyone with a gun.
After a couple of minutes he came back and handed me my papers. "Mr. Boudreaux, what brings you to town? You're quite a ways from home." I refrained from a smart assed comment like, `It's still Texas.' Instead, I explained about the job. I noticed that he stood closer than I considered professional. It told me he didn't think of me as a threat. I was a little more intimidated by his physical proximity. I could smell old spice and sweat.
At some point I realized the questions had turned into a conversation. He asked me to join him for coffee at a diner up the road. You guessed it... Julie's.
Bill Wilson was in his mid thirties, six foot two and in great shape. Even behind the Kevlar vest you could tell he worked out. He had a voice that at once commanded respect and warmed you inside. He was funny and easy to talk to. Before I knew it, we had spent the better part of an hour chatting over coffee. He had ordered a meal and seemed a little put out that I insisted on having just coffee. At some point Bill glanced at his watch and reluctantly let me know he had to resume his patrol. He paid the check and we walked outside. We had parked beside each other and as I was passing his patrol car he took my arm just above elbow. I turned to him and saw he was having a problem speaking. He stuttered, "T R, r, r, are you seeing anyone? I mean, I, uh, I would like to see you again."
"Bill, are you asking me out on a date? Is this how you meet men? Maybe I should have gone for a degree in criminology."
"No, yes, no. Look Goddamnit, I don't use my job to meet men. I, I uh, I saw you talking to that guy in the motel parking lot and... well I wanted to meet you. Now... right now I'm thinking about arresting you for interfering with an officer of the law in the performance of his duties. I waited longer than I should have hoping you'd come back out, so you interfered with my duties. That's a pretty serious offense in Texas. Of course if I arrested you, you'd wind up in jail and I'd have to eat alone tomorrow night. So, what's it going to be, cowboy... me or jail?"
I have to say that somewhere along the line I began to think of Bill as more than a... tall, blond, handsome law enforcement official. Robert would have creamed his jeans. He had a thing for uniforms. "I guess it has to be dinner. My Momma would have a fit if I had to call her to bail her baby boy out of jail."
"Look, T R, I really would like to see you again." He reached into his shirt pocket and produced a business card. He quickly wrote something on the back of the card and handed it to me. "That has my cell phone number on the back. If for any reason that doesn't work you can call the numbers on the front and they will relay any message. How about I pick you up at seven tomorrow night?" With that he extended his hand and I, though somewhat in a daze, returned his handshake.
It was only after I parked and was about to get out of the LBJ that I realized I had not made it to the convenience store. I only thought about it for a moment and decided sleep was more appealing. My last conscious thought was, what a strange first day'. I dreamed that night of being in a tornado like the Dorothy and Toto. In my dream I was in the lumbering behemoth and it was loaded down I had space for one and had to choose between Robert, Bill and David. No choice was comfortable and none of them were happy even when they were chosen. I remembered thinking, this is a dream. Thank god I will forget it soon after I wake up, except I didn't.
When my wake-up call came, I was already dressed for my run. I did my stretching then took of down a side street that seemed to have only modest traffic. I like running. I know about endorphins and such. The way I look at it is that caffeine gives me a boost and I can feel it and know where it comes from. Running is not quite like that. Running is a mood enhancer... It's just that I never really sense it like I do after a couple of cups of Joe. Still, when I don't run I can tell it. My day is a little off. If I miss more than three days, I get edgy. I am not one who loves the fresh air of looks at the scenery. Running lets my mind wander and I like that. Running doesn't demand attention like tennis or golf.
Running allowed me to think about Bill. He can't really be "out" and be a State Trooper can he? He seemed like a nice guy. It was cute the way he got all flustered when I accused him of picking up guys by pulling them over. Still I was more than hesitant about any relationship that involved another closeted man. Near the end of my run I picked up the pace and let everything else slip away.
Back at the motel I showered and dressed for a day at the clinic. I thought about David and Bill how different yet equally nice guys. Too bad David isn't gay. From the continental breakfast I choose a bagel and orange juice and headed out.
At the clinic things moved smoothly though the morning. Instead of me shadowing David, he watched as I treated his patients. He made no comments and offered no interruptions. In fact when one lady patient came in with a Doberman Pincher, he excused himself.
Mrs. Lafferty was the Mayor's wife. How do I know this? She told me at least four times as she tried to convince me that I should dock and crop her dog. She was more than insistent and down-right rude.
I kept my cool and explained to her that docking a dog's tail and cropping his ears were simply cosmetic and served no useful purpose unless the dog was to be a working dog. To say that she disagreed would be an understatement. As she stormed out, puppy in hand, she yelled, "You're no better than these other two quacks. I should have known this would be a waste of time. Julie may be right when it comes to some things. She obviously made a mistake about you." I followed her into the reception area, still letting her know that we would be glad to provide any other treatment that "Percy" might need. Her response was an emphatic, "humph", as she slammed the door.
I turned to go back to my office and literally ran into David. The smirk on his face was what my Dad would have called a "shit eating grin". I may not be the brightest bulb in the chandelier, but I could see that I had been set up. I was getting pissed. I was about to tell him any number of things that would not have endeared me to anyone, much less someone I had just met the day before. Before I could say anything, it seemed the whole staff was in the reception area... applauding?
David patted me on the back, and explained, "That old bat has been hounding Doc and me for the longest time. She breeds Dobermans. Percy is just a sample. She probably has five to ten puppies at any given time. Her operation borders on being a puppy mill. Any time she brings in a dog for any reason she argues for us to provide docking and cropping. You have just survived baptism by fire. When I left her with you, I came out and switched on the intercom, we all listened to the conversation. You handled her very well. The last time she was in here, she threatened to have us closed down. This time she just slammed the door." My ire was abated by congratulatory slaps on the back from several staff members. Juanita, the lead receptionist came out from behind the counter and hugged me. I made a mental note to give Julie a piece of my mind when next we met.
Doc showed up about ten. Soon after he settled in he came to "my` office". We discussed me. His questions were probing and yet never really intrusive. He knew some of my professors and had checked me out. "T. R, you may as well know that David and I have already decided that you are someone we think could compliment our clinic."
He got a serious look on his face and I thought, `here it comes'. Instead, he said, "There is one thing that should help you in your decision. T. R., it's unlikely that we will ever have a need to collect sperm from an elephant."
(If you insist on understanding that statement you can check out Youtube videos and imagine the worst that could happen when the electric probe failed and we had to resort to... let's just say it resulted in a very, very long hot shower. I shudder at the memory).
Doc told me he was a widower and had sold his ranch and moved into a small house in town. He had expected to be retired already but lining up the personnel to keep the clinic running had proved to be more of a challenge. He felt he had to have a good team in place before he could walk away. I was surprised when he stood and invited me to lunch. We had passed the time so quickly. He was good company and I had not felt any nervousness and only a little embarrassed.
I followed him out as he stopped by to tell David we were getting lunch. David asked if we could bring him back a sandwich since he was "holding down the fort". Doc drove us to ... Julie's. I was beginning to believe there was no other place in town to get coffee or food.
Julie was there and greeted us and took us to a booth and asked Doc if he wanted the usual. I settled on a small chef salad. Just as I was about to let her know I didn't appreciated being "set up", Julie turned to me and said, "Don't bother T. R., it worked out pretty well and that old biddy was put in her place. So, save your breath and enjoy your lunch. Oh, and you need to let Doc know you won't be cooking tonight." With that she turned and walked away.
I watched until she disappeared into the kitchen.
I turned to find Doc grinning at me. He studied his fingers for a moment and said, "I see you have met Julie. She takes some getting used to." Meeting my gaze he continued, "She seems to have a knack for reading people. She is a big fan of yours. I don't doubt that she told Dorothy Lafferty there was a new Vet who might be more open to cropping and docking. I suspect she figured it would help us see you as a man of conviction." He shrugged. She didn't know we had already made up our minds."
Doc spent some time going over the schedule, the fact that hours could get crazy and the clients could sometimes be hard to handle ... (As if I hadn't learned that already). Still, telling a rancher he had to put down a prize quarter horse or worse yet a herd of infected cattle would never go down easy. While those discussions were not routine, Doc asked how I would handle those things.
At some point I realized that the talk had shifted and he was acting like my taking the job was a done deal. It was when he said we would discuss compensation and benefits when we got back to the office. I interrupted him and said, "Doc I talked to David last night and he said you both knew I was gay. Is that going to present any kind of problem?"
"T R, my son was gay. I don't see that as an issue and as long as you don't make it one, it won't be. I don't expect you to take any guff off our clients. If they choose to give you a hard time let me know. We don't need their business that badly. I have talked to some of the folks back at school and those who oversaw your residencies. I feel you are more than qualified and I have a strong suspicion you will find this place more to your liking as time passes. Now eat up, we've got a lot to do before you have to head back home and make arrangements to relocate here. When you come back you are welcome to stay at my place until you can find a more permanent situation."
"Doc, I appreciate the offer but I can't put you out. I know that no matter how well you get along with someone it is difficult to actually live with someone as a guest in your home. My folk's ancestry is Cajun and we have a saying, "Every guest should leave before the shrimp stink."
"T. R., Look at it this way, you have thirty days to change your mind as do we. If you decide to stay you can use that time to look for something and not have to rush. Can you cook?"
"Doc, I told you my folks are Cajun. If it crawls, runs, swims or flies and we can catch it, we can cook it."
"Already you have the potential to more than compensate me. I am a god awful cook. In fact, the only man I know who might be worse is David. He stayed with me for a while and that boy can't boil water without burning the pan. So, you buy the groceries and cook and we can call it a fair deal. Julie seemed to know you have plans this evening. Just think about it and we can talk again tomorrow. The cleaning lady will get the spare room ready, just in case."
Once we were back at the clinic Doc went over his proposal. Except for a few minor changes, I became the latest addition to the Veterinarian Care Clinic.
And so it began. As soon as the paperwork was signed, I saw my first official patient, Guido a Chihuahua with a broken leg. There were of course routine checks and one iguana named Cecil who had blackening skin. Nothing extraordinary, nothing hurried just busy.
David had made himself scarce after the "docking" incident. He found me between patients. Standing in my doorway he asked if I was going to be staying with Doc. When I told him I was thinking about it, he said, "Ok, I got to warn you that man snores like a freight train in a tunnel. You're either gonna have to put your foot in his back and push or roll him over to make him stop." I understood the implication of his remarks.
"Apparently David, my arrangement differs from yours in that I don't have to sleep with the man, just cook. By the way, he suggested you might give me a few pointers in the kitchen. I'm just a novice." I gave him my cheesiest smile and batted my eye lids like Scarlet O'Hara with cinders in both eyes.
For a moment I thought I may have gone too far. David looked almost hurt. He recovered quickly and said, "Well, I have one pointer I can give you now. In fact, make that three." With that he stuck out his tongue and offered me the middle finger of both his hands. He turned and walked toward his office. His laughter echoed down the hall. I liked working here already.
As office hours ended Doc stopped by to ask how my day went. He wanted to know how much time I would need to get my personal belongings and be ready to work. I was a little embarrassed to tell him that I brought most everything I needed in the back of the lumbering behemoth. He laughed and asked, "Is that the restored Jeep Wagoneer in the parking lot?"
"Doc, I call her LBJ the Lumbering Behemoth Jeep, `cause she is almost the biggest thing on the road. I my brothers and friends did a frame off restoration. She starts first time every time and can get through where most modern SUV's fear to tread. I know every nut, bolt and washer. I can look at the speedometer and tachometer and tell right away if she is feeling ok. She may not look it but she is better than factory fresh."
"I can tell you love her. My son and I restored an old John Deere ... took us years to do it. When I sold the ranch I moved it to town and every week or so I start her up and run her around the block so she don't get stove up like me. Hey, did the name LBJ have anything to do with the size of, of..." His face turned even redder as my smile answered his question.
Once the place was locked up I said my goodbyes and followed Doc to his place. His "house in town" was off a two lane blacktop with the nearest neighbor almost a half mile away. "Doc, I thought you said you lived in town?"
"T R, if you knew where the ranch is, you'd realize this is in town. Beside, that's the beauty of a small town. Even when you're in town you're still in the country."
The house itself was not the kind of place a single man would normally buy for just himself. I figured it might be a hundred years old. The whole house set up about two feet off the ground. The front porch was deep and wrapped around the both sides of the house. There were double doors opening onto a hallway that lead to the back porch. Pocket doors gave access to the rooms on either side of the hallway. The ceilings were almost ten feet high. On the right was a den. Behind that was a bedroom which was to be mine. Each room had a portrait rail. The furniture was all antique. The bed didn't take up much room, even though it was Queen sized. There were bookshelves, a desk, built in closets, a sitting area and a full private bath. Doc explained that his bedroom was on the other side of the house and so I could pretty much come and go without disturbing him. A cleaning lady came in twice a week.
Doc showed me the eat-in kitchen. It had recently been remodeled with all restaurant quality appliances. It had everything but food. There were take-out containers in the sub-zero refrigerator along with Tabasco sauce, beer and mustard.
"Gee, Doc, I've seen better stocked dorm rooms. I better hit the store if we intend to eat tonight." Then I remembered Bill. "Ah, Doc, I just remembered I met a man last night and sort of got blackmailed into having dinner with him tonight."
The incredulous look shifted into an understanding grin when I explained about meeting Bill. "Son, you'd be surprised at how I met the love of my life. Don't worry about dinner. Go on out and have some fun. I don't know this trooper but I know the district commander. If he gives you a hard time, let me know. I'll get him set straight. I'm going to Julie's for dinner. If you two are there, I'll stop by and say hello."
"Thanks for understanding Doc. I think I'll go to the motel shower and change there and checkout. I `m supposed to meet Bill there at seven."
"T. R., I want you to consider this place your home. You are welcome to bring guests in here. My son and his lover kind of let me see what it is like for two men who love each other and try to share a life. I know it's not easy. Just remember you treat this place like your home and me like family. I miss Gordy and his mother very much. It'll be nice to have to have someone else living here. I thought moving here would help and it has, some. Look, I just want you to know that if there is sometimes three for dinner or three for, uh, breakfast, that`s okay."
With that Doc handed me a key and told me to have fun and be careful.
I thought about how these people at the clinic, Doc especially tried to make me feel welcome. Hell, the man has me living in his house planning menus. I chuckled at the thought of Bill walking into Doc's kitchen for coffee in just his boxers. I thought about how David had probably done it many times. I shook my head to clear David out of my mind. I didn't need to be thinking about a straight coworker walking around in his underwear.
At the motel I showered, shaved and changed into jeans and a polo shirt. I packed my bags and loaded everything into LBJ and checked out. I was in the parking lot when a big motorcycle with loud pipes pulled in beside me. When the rider, dressed in a torn tee shirt and faded jeans, removed his helmet I realized it was Bill.
Bill's smile broadened as I stepped out of LBJ and began to admire his bike. My older brother had a Harley and he would sometimes let me take it out. I loved it but couldn't see buying one until I was really settled. Bill, was obviously proud of his bike, it was chromed and polished to the nines. "Have you already checked out?" I nodded still checking out the bike. "Too bad."
That kind of got my attention and I looked up to meet his eyes. He cocked his left eyebrow and said, "I figure we can tell a lot about how well we are gonna gee-haw after the first kiss. I could have saved myself the price of a dinner and not wasted an evening if I found out you were a lousy kisser right off the bat."
Something about the superior, smart assed smirk on his face irked me. He was still straddling the bike. I stepped up and took his face in both my hands and placed my lips on his. They were lush and soft and yielding. I teased them with my tongue and they parted. I caressed is tongue with mine. Bill dropped his helmet and pulled me into him.
If you like it so far, let me know.