Trials and Triumph

TRIALS AND TRIUMPHS -- PART I

Chapter 4: VENI, VIDI, VICI [I came, I saw, I conquered]

Brian and Eric said goodbye to Brian's parents who left for the airport at five in the afternoon on Friday for the short flight to Sacramento. The two teens sat on the patio relaxing. Brian was able to give scant attention to the conversation because he was impatient to launch his plan for seducing his friend. Perhaps, he thought, tonight would accomplish no more than `testing the waters,' and assess Eric's willingness to engage in gay sex. With luck, he may begin the process of weakening Eric's defenses. He was enough of a realist, however, to discount the chances of scoring that night. He wanted sex badly but he was prepared to postpone his conquest until it could be done with a willing partner. He may not even achieve his goal on Saturday night; it could take a long time if Eric was not receptive.

When the sun dropped below the horizon, it began to get chilly so they went indoors. Brian suggested ordering in a pizza for dinner and Eric agreed since, like all teen boys, his appetite was rarely satisfied and he loved pizza, something he had not enjoyed for too long. After polishing off a large supreme pizza and downing a two-liter bottle of Pepsi, they settled into the basement family room to watch a movie on television. Brian paid little attention to the movie because he was reviewing, revising, and refining his scheme to win Eric's agreement to have sex. Among other considerations, Brian wondered if it would be fair to lure a friend into having sex if the friend were not already inclined to do it. And it was far from certain that Eric was so inclined. He rationalized; it wouldn't be rape if Eric willingly took the bait even though he was straight. He may participate if only as an expression of gratitude for being rescued from a deplorable situation at home ... but if he consented, it would be an act of free will. If he refused ... well ... that would be unfortunate but his reluctance would have to be honored. Brian accepted the possibility of that the seduction would fail and he would have to wait for another opportunity with someone else. He also knew that, given his far from attractive looks and weak social skills, finding someone else would be difficult. Eric might be his only chance to experience gay sex, which only strengthened his desire to plan and execute his strategy flawlessly.

The movie ended. Eric began discussing it but Brian was ill- prepared to offer any more than superficial opinions since he had been distracted by what was to him a far more important matter. "If you don't mind, Eric, I think I'll shower and go to bed early. It's a little early but for some reason I'm tired."

"I don't mind at all," Eric replied. "I think I'll go upstairs and finish the Chemistry assignment for school. Would it bother you if I studied in the bedroom while you showered ... and went to bed?"

"Not at all," Brian said. His friend's intention to be in the bedroom meshed perfectly with the carefully planned and eagerly anticipated seduction plan.

Brian took a long shower, thinking it would give Eric time to finish the school assignment and therefore be ready to notice the bait that he would be casting. As a result of anticipating what he hoped would happen, together with making sure his private parts were clean and fresh, he sprouted a particularly hard erection. "Sorry, little guy," he thought. "I'm saving you for something much better than a routine jerk off." As he dried himself, he focused his mind on trivial details of the teacher's boring lecture in his English Literature class. The distraction worked; his cock deflated. He then walked, completely naked, down the hall from the bathroom to the bedroom. "I'm done," he announced as he walked into the bedroom.

Eric glanced up and saw for the first time his buddy totally naked. He couldn't help himself. His eyes were drawn immediately to the thick, black pubic bush; to the impressive cock (dangling but still partially enlarged from a recent hard-on), and to the pendulous, hairy ball sack that seemed to hang so low because of two large balls. The surprising sight momentarily disabled his judgment. His disciplined habit of not showing `unnatural interest' in another guy's equipment failed him and he didn't divert his eyes quickly enough. Instead, he reflexively inhaled sharply and he let his gaze linger for much too long.

Brian was delighted by Eric's reaction; it was exactly what he had hoped for but was unwilling to expect. He paused while Eric's eyes (and mind?) were riveted on what he hoped was a enticing sight. When Eric regained control of his eyes, Brian said, "Oh!" He glanced down at his bare crotch for a fraction of a second. "I thought that since my parents are gone and we're just a couple of guys alone in the house, it would be all right to skip the modesty bit. If I offended you, I apologize." The comment was, of course, one of the planned `escape hatches' to use if Eric was straight ... a way to explain away what might appear to be a blatant attempt to arouse sexual desire. But his friend did not show any signs of disapproval or indignation -- a hopeful sign that Brian welcomed.

"Offended? No." Eric managed to say. "It was just a surprise; that's all."

"Good." Brian said. "The last thing I'd want is to offend my best friend ... my only friend."

Without bothering to put on fresh boxers Brian turned down the covers on the bed. He was pleased to note out of the corner of his eye that Eric watched every movement. To further test his friend's interest, he walked to the closet and laid out clothes for the next morning. Deliberately, but not too obviously he hoped, he took his time selecting his clothes in order to give Eric as much time as reasonably possible to `examine the merchandise'. He pretended to be indecisive about what to wear the next day. Surreptitiously, he watched Eric out of the corner of his eye and found to his great satisfaction that his roommate's eyes were consistently trained on his crotch and ass. It was encouragement enough that Brian allowed himself to think that tonight just might be the night.

"Oh!," Brian began, feigning a spontaneous thought. "Since nudity doesn't bother you, would you mind if I sleep in my birthday suit? That's what I usually do ... before you moved in with me."

"If that's what you want, do it."

A dim suspicion began to surface in Eric's mind that triggered a series of questions and speculations. Is Brian showing off? Nothing about his thin body deserves admiration ... but he can be proud of what he has between his legs. It would only be natural for a skinny boy to want to display his manhood. Or is he doing more than showing off? Is he trying to suggest.... NO! Not likely! Not Brian! He's sure to be straight as an arrow. But then again...

"Fact of the matter is, Brian, I normally sleep with nothing on." That was a lie but if Brian was indeed hinting at doing something in bed it would be exactly what Eric wanted. He hadn't given the first thought to having sex with Brian in all the time they had been friends. Not even sleeping in the same bed had been the least bit arousing. But now ... now the uninhibited display of nudity had given birth to a new possibility: having sex with Brian. But a nagging doubt remained. Was his friend subtly suggesting something or simply being innocently unconcerned about roaming through the room naked?

"The damn Chemistry assignment can wait!" Eric said. "I think I'll go to bed, too." Brian's grin seemed to confirm his speculation. But it was not definitive evidence.

Eric closed his text, got up out of the desk chair, and started to take off his clothes. Delightedly, he watched Brian watch him with unrestrained interest. When he was down to nothing but his boxers he turned around, pretending to be modest but also to give a better view of his ass as he bent down to take off the last remaining article of clothing. Turning back to face his friend, he was pleased to see that Eric gave a prolonged visual inspection of the uncut cock that was already in the early stages of engorgement. Thus far, Eric thought his behavior could have been quite innocent and it would allow a retreat from any hint of titillation. But Brian's obviously keen and undisguised interest gave him the courage to take a risky step. He walked over to the edge of the bed, stood motionless before his friend for a while to allow him a closer inspection. Brian, puzzled by the completely unexpected deviation from his meticulously planned seduction strategy, ran his eyes up and down the nude form just inches away from him, His bewilderment ... and delight ... were about to be intensified.

Eric was amused and very happy that he had obviously captured Brian's uninhibited attention in a way that seemed to leave no doubt about his sexual preference. For further and final confirmation of interest, Eric asked in a sensuous near-whisper, "Like what you see, Stud?"

Brian was temporarily flummoxed by the turn of events. His mind was in turmoil, groping to answer an astonishing question: Who is seducing whom? Without regret, he cast aside his carefully crafted plan and grinned broadly. He threw back the covers, revealing a fully erect cock, and replied. "Yes! I like it a lot! Come get in bed!"

There was no longer any doubt in either teen's mind about the sexual preferences of the other. Nor about what would happen next.

Without delay, they hugged each other. They clung forcefully to each other, not as friends giving and receiving support and comfort but driven by the primal forces of pure lust. Their naked, sex-starved bodies pressed tightly and erotically together. Their minds lost all awareness except for the ultimate thrill of their first man-to-man, carnal contact. Inevitably, their cocks started to throb, which further intensified the sensual chaos that pulsed through their bodies. Although relishing the feelings they had both longed for but that exceeded their most extreme imagining, they wanted MORE stimulation. They simultaneously ground their crotches together furiously and were rewarded with a quantum boost to their erotic pleasure.

Powerless to reign in their overwhelming passion and no longer able to communicate verbally, they expressed their feelings for each other by kissing long and almost aggressively. Whether by design or by chance, Brian assumed the leadership role. He reached down and fondled Eric's cock.

A hand other than his own on his stiff rod had the effect of putting Eric into a state where he could do nothing except enjoy the attention and heightened stimulation that radiated throughout his body. He lay there in ecstasy as his friend repositioned himself and began gently massaging his well-defined chest with special attention to hypersensitive nipples that responded by projecting outward as if pleading for more manipulation.

Brian was lost in his own version of ecstasy. He had free access to a male body. Not just any male body but a strikingly attractive one that was the image of youthful masculinity. He briefly compared his own body to Eric's but dismissed the thought because it was too depressing. He turned his full attention to exploring the nude form that lay beside him. He used his hands and fingers first to caress and admire but then used his mouth to lick circles around the nipples and then to suckle on them. As Eric moaned with delight, Brian moved slowly and evocatively downward, lingering at the naval but impatiently moving on to the ultimate objective.

Eric's moans grew louder when he felt stimulation to the tip of his throbbing cock, a swollen, purple helmet that had emerged from hiding under the protective foreskin. He glanced down and saw Brian using his tongue to flick the tip of the pulsating penis that was quite unaccustomed to such intense teasing. The sensations were almost unbearable.

Brian had barely taken the uppermost half of the shaft in his mouth and managed only to deliver a few strokes when Eric reflexively bucked his hips and screamed, "I GOTTA SHOOT! LET GO!" But Brian was not to be denied experiencing the taste of another man's cum. He tightened his lips around the quivering tube of hard flesh and prepared to receive the hot cream. It blasted the back of his throat in several volleys, forcing him to swallow to avoid the possibility of any leaking out.

It was several minutes before Eric recuperated from the explosive orgasm but gradually his heart rate settled down, his breathing returned to normal, and his mind cleared enough to notice Brian lying next to him with an arm and a leg on top of him. "That was marvelous," Eric gushed. "Thanks."

"Your turn to do me now," Brian replied.

Later, Eric would think back on his friend's request (uttered almost as a demand!) and worry. There was no "You're welcome" or "Glad you enjoyed it" and it seemed to set a mechanical tone to the situation rather than contributing to a romantic or at least affectionate spell. Was that all Brian wanted -- sex and not an emotional bonding between two very good friends? At the moment, however, Brian was right; it was only fair to return the favor.

Eric set about the task (not yet realizing that it was more of a task than a demonstration of friendship). He duplicated Brian's technique but didn't enjoy any of it until he got down to the pubic terrain. Then, he took great pleasure in fondling his bedmate's cock. He was grateful that his first manipulation of another guy's penis was with a good friend and not merely an acquaintance. He delighted in watching it engorge from limpness to stiffness and more than double its length. It seemed he couldn't get enough of the feel and sight of it. It was so arousing that his own cock inflated in spite of having very recently discharged a massive load of semen.

But his pleasure was interrupted when Brian said, "Don't just fool around down there. Get me off! I need to cum!"

Eric wrapped his lips around the upper half of the now throbbing shaft and began to bob his head up and down while stroking the lower half of the impressively long and fat cock. Unlike his own rapid climax, Brian's was a long time coming. Just as Eric began to worry whether he was doing it right, his friend tensed and, without any sort of warning, a blast of hot cream hit the back of Eric's unprepared throat. He gagged just as a second blast assaulted his mouth. Much of the second spurt and the third leaked out to coat the base of Brian's cock, his pubes, his ball sack, and Eric's hand.

Eric managed to receive and swallow three more but less forceful eruptions and continued to hold the spent cock in his mouth while gently rubbing his tongue across the tip of the still twitching rod. He was startled when Brian grabbed a handful of his hair, forcefully disengaged him, and shouted, "STOP! Don't you know how sensitive it is after I've cum?"

Eric contritely moved up to lie beside his friend. But the post- orgasmic togetherness didn't last long. Brian said, "Look! You've left me all messy. I'm going to shower." He abruptly got out of bed and headed toward the bathroom. Eric was left wondering. Had he done something wrong? Why not lay there and hug or at least be together? A troubling thought entered his mind. Was Brian interested only in the sex act? Did he not have any need or tolerance for affection? If so, was that fundamental to his nature or a byproduct of having to adopt a loner role?

Only time will tell.

Chapter 5: A MYSTERY WRAPPED IN AN ENIGMA

Eric waited for Brian to shower, wondering and then worrying about what was taking him so long. He was about to go check on his friend when the sound of the running water stopped. He waited some more. He wanted to talk to his buddy and thank him for the wonderful experience they had shared. Perhaps Brian would open up and disclose why he was so blasé about their sex and so curt when he immediately got out of bed. After several more minutes, he saw Brian -- a bath towel wrapped around his waist -- walk past the open bedroom door. He was utterly confused. Why was the guy with whom he had shared the ultimate in sensual experience and the most intimate expression of affection seemingly avoiding him? Did he feel guilty for some reason? Was he dissatisfied with the experience? And why was he not returning to bed when he had claimed earlier that he was tired and needed some sleep? He had no answers to those questions, nor even any logical theories.

Twenty minutes passed as Eric's confusion increased. He had to find out what the hell was going on. He slipped on his boxers and went downstairs. Brian was slouched in an armchair in the living room staring at nothing in particular.

Eric chose to start the conversation on a positive note. "Hey, pal," he said cheerily. "I just wanted to thank you again for an awesome experience. It was infinitely better than I expected."

Brian glanced up and mumbled, "Yeah. It was okay."

Eric was stunned. "OKAY? Is that all you can say?

Brian ignored the question and stared again at the wall..

"Come on, Brian! Tell me what the hell is wrong. It's not like you to sulk around. Especially after the great time we had in bed."

Brian glared at his friend and snarled, "I don't want to talk about it. Just leave me alone!"

Irritation joined the frustration and bewilderment in Eric's mind. It made him even more determined to find out what problem was upsetting Brian. He sat in a chair near his brooding friend and said, "If it's something I've done, I'm sorry. If there's anything I can do to help, you can ...."

Brian erupted angrily. "DIDN'T YOU HEAR ME? LEAVE ME ALONE."

Feeling abused by the violent outburst, Eric left. The mystery was not only unsolved but it was greatly expanded and even more emotionally distressing. He returned to the bedroom and lay down. But sleep was to elude him for several hours. Memories of the exhilarating experience of his first sexual encounter with a guy -- something that he had yearned for -- contrasted sharply with Brian's inexplicable behavior afterwards. The joy of sex had been ruined, forever corrupted by Brian's antipathy and anger. It seemed that unless Brian overcame whatever it was that caused his very uncharacteristic behavior there would be no more sex. Even the friendship that had developed slowly but recently blossomed seemed doomed. It was well past midnight when Eric fell into a fitful sleep. Alone in the bed.

Brian also found sleep to be impossible as he struggled to sort out his emotions. He had been pleasantly surprised when Eric's behavior confirmed a definite sexual preference. All the planning of a seduction strategy was unnecessary but it had been a challenge he couldn't resist. He had enjoyed hatching and refining his scheme and he had enjoyed the prospect of achieving an unlikely goal. The thrill of the hunt had motivated him. In fact, he had been almost obsessed with the hope of conquest. His first sex with a guy would be the realization of a dream. That it was unlikely -- because of his looks and inability to socialize -- only made the effort more interesting. The sex was thoroughly exciting and satisfying: the free access to a naked male, the exploration of a handsome body, the feel and exquisite taste of a cock in his mouth, the salty-sweet taste of cum on his tongue, and of course the overpowering sensations of receiving his first blow job. His conquest was hugely gratifying, which paradoxically presented a huge problem.

As he sat brooding in the living room, he was profoundly worried about something he hadn't sufficiently considered. And he punished himself for not doing so. He knew he was unattractive and had no interpersonal skills so his chances for finding a partner were slim. But then he became good friends with Eric. He developed a genuine affection for him. And they had sex. The euphoria of the sex amplified his attraction to and affection for his friend. It could easily grow into love and a committed relationship. He wanted a sexual partner and a loving relationship with a man -- specifically, with Eric. But he also wanted an education and a career. He would be enrolling in MIT, a prestigious university in Massachusetts, in the fall and major in electrical engineering with, perhaps, graduate work to earn a PhD. It was just the sort of life that he knew would be appropriate for his interests and his personality.

Prior to having sex with Eric he regarded the event as nothing more than gratification of primal urges. He would seduce his friend (or a mutual seduction he now wondered). He would enjoy further physical pleasures before he went away to college. But his emotional attraction to Eric irreversibly changed everything, An imponderable dilemma struck him completely unexpectedly like a bolt of lightning at the worst possible time -- just as Eric had begun to suck his cock. He feared that the mouth on his cock, the mouth of a person he had developed a deep affection for, might jeopardize his important goal of an education and a fascinating career. Maintaining and nurturing a gay relationship while in school would be a distraction from the arduous task of earning a degree from a very competitive university. Worse, given the rampant intolerance and persecution of homosexuals throughout society [in the early 1970s], his career opportunities would be severely limited by bigoted recruiters and employers.

He faced two unacceptable alternatives: loving sex or long-term success in a career. He saw no way to have both.

He continued to struggle with his problem as the young man who had stolen his heart was upstairs. He regretted his thoughtless comment ("Don't just fool around down there. Get me off! I need to cum!"). He regretted forcefully pulling Eric off his cock and complaining about the cum that leaked into his pubic hair. But the torment of possibly having to choose between a lover and a career disrupted his normally rational thinking. He HAD to leave the bedroom abruptly (another thing he regretted), shower, and go downstairs to think through his dilemma.

When Eric came into the living room with a cheerful greeting it was an unwelcome intrusion into his thoughts and he reacted angrily. That, he soon realized, was yet another mistake and he cursed himself for being so irritable and rude.

After agonizing over the dilemma for a long time, he chose education and career. He would have to sacrifice the other, less important goal of companionship with a gay partner. Living with his secret identity but achieving success in a career he enjoyed was clearly the best choice.

Before finally allowing himself to go to sleep, he had made a painful decision. He had to terminate his friendship with Eric because it would be too much of a temptation to continue having sex. It would risk becoming what he considered to be a slave to his lust and he would be controlled by his growing affection for a lover.

<><><><><>

The next morning, Eric was still alone in the bed. He went downstairs and found Brian asleep on the sofa, covered with a blanket. Quietly, he fixed himself a bowl of cereal and a glass of orange juice. He lingered over breakfast, hoping his buddy would awaken and be willing to talk about what was obviously bothering him. Nearly an hour later, however, he went upstairs to get dressed.

Eric tried to study for a test but it was useless. He could think of nothing except Brian's mysterious behavior. Two hours later, Brian walked into the bedroom wearing only the towel from last night's shower. Eric greeted him with a pleasant, "Good morning."

Brian did not answer but gathered his clothes and walked out, leaving Eric even more puzzled than before. The befuddled teen became increasingly angry at his friend's inexplicable attitude. His anger displaced what little affection remained for his friend. After a few minutes, he decided to get some answers. He went downstairs where he confronted Brian who was finishing a bowl of cereal. "Enough of this silent treatment, Brian! I think I deserve an explanation. What the hell is your problem?"

Brian glared at Eric menacingly for a long time, summoning up his previous resolve to sever the friendship. There was no gentle way to do that, he had concluded. "You don't deserve anything more than you've already got. You've got a place to stay ... three meals a day ... and a bit of sex."

Reigning in his anger and adopting a calm tone of voice, Eric said, "I'm grateful for all of that. I've told you that a hundred times. But I don't understand why you've changed so quickly. You're not the guy you normally are. We were good friends. For a long time. What happened?"

In spite of Brian's lingering affection for the one guy who had been his friend for years and who could become a lover, he felt compelled to play the role of villain. "Yeah. We WERE friends. But it can't continue. Is that plain enough for your feeble mind?"

"And why not?" Eric asked incredulously.

"Think about it, shithead!" Brian growled and walked out of the kitchen.

The rest of the day was punctuated by occasional frosty exchanges between the two young men. Each of Eric's attempts to engage Brian in conversation, even about neutral subjects, was ignored or met with scorn. Brian disliked having to do that because, at the deepest level, he still liked Eric. But his determination to dissolve the friendship was paramount. Eric disliked even more the treatment he was getting. Disappointment, frustration, irritation, and an increasing sense of hopelessness dominated his thinking and depressed his spirits.

By evening, he gave up trying to reach out to Brian. Without saying "Good night" to his friend (Was he still a friend?), Eric got ready for bed, wondering whether he would sleep alone for another night. He lay in bed reviewing the events leading up to his buddy's sudden change in behavior and attitude but found no clues that would suggest a reason. Before falling asleep he made a decision. He would give Brian more time to reconsider and at least show signs of returning to his normal self. If he didn't open up -- even a little bit -- to thaw the icy atmosphere, there was only one thing to do: tolerate the situation for as long as he could. He briefly considered another option, leaving his new home, but rejected it because he didn't want to live on the streets.

He woke up Sunday morning alone. Apparently, Brian had slept again on the sofa. That strongly suggested that the troubled teen didn't want any contact. Was it because of guilt over the sex they had? Eric simply didn't know ... and had been unsuccessful in all attempts to find out.

<><><><><>

Brian's parents were due to arrive home just past seven that evening. Eric wondered what their reaction would be to their son's dramatic transformation from a happy young man to an aloof person whose antipathy toward his friend was obvious.

Mrs. Winston called in the early afternoon to say that their flight from Sacramento had been cancelled, they would try to get another flight, and don't expect them home until possibly very late ... or even the next day. Eric deduced the message on the basis of Brian's side of the conversation but nevertheless inquired, "Your parents have a problem with the flight home?"

Brian grunted, "Yeah. As if you cared!"

"Of course I care, Brian. I don't want to see people I like having trouble ... just like it upsets me when you obviously have a problem with something and won't talk about it."

"HAD a problem!" Brian snarled. "But I've solved it. And I don't need you pestering me about it!"

"Have it your way, then. But know that I'm willing to help if I can."

Brian erupted. "I don't need your help, shithead! I can get along perfectly well by myself! WITHOUT YOU!"

The implication of the last sentence was like a dagger in Eric's heart. He had been clinging to the hope that Brian would get over whatever it was that upset him and the damage to their friendship could be repaired. "What's that mean -- without me?" he asked.

"It means what I said!" Brian snarled. "It means I'm better off without you. But you're here so I guess I have to live with you being around."

Eric suspected but refused to believe that he was the cause of his buddy's problem. He couldn't think of anything he had done to cause the irritability and angry outbursts. But what he had just heard was undeniable proof that he had done something ... he did not know what -- to alienate Brian. Without anticipating the consequences, he asked, "Do you want me to leave?"

"YES! The front door is right over there. I don't give a flying fuck where you go but don't come back."

Eric, stunned into speechlessness and emotionally devastated, went upstairs. And sobbed. His best friend -- the one who rescued him for his drunken father, the one with whom he had developed such a rapport and affection, the one to whom he had eagerly given his virginity -- was effectively ordering him out of the house that had become his home. He faced the dismal plight once more of homelessness.

Brian retreated to the basement recreation room and released a torrent of tears. He hated himself for being so cruel to Eric. Unsuccessfully, he tried to justify his unforgivable actions with the logic he had used to choose education and a career over the one guy who might have become a loving partner.

Chapter 6: DÉJÀ VU ALL OVER AGAIN

Eric was finally able to stop crying and think about his predicament. He still had no clue about why Brian was so upset or why he'd been ordered to leave. What he did know, however, was that he was no longer welcome to stay. If he did, both he and Brian would be miserable. His parents had been very kind and would likely continue to acting in loco parentis but he was unwilling to stay if it meant continuation of the friction with Brian and disruption of the family. As unpleasant as it was, there was only one thing to do: leave.

As he had done before when his father ordered him to leave, he gathered up some of his clothes and a few small items that were important to him. He put them in a large plastic trash bag. That and his backpack, filled with school books and papers, were all he could carry. He considered saying goodbye to Brian but rejected the idea because it would only trigger another outburst. In addition, he didn't know whether he could remain composed because beneath the anguish of being treated harshly, there were still dying embers of affection for his friend who once had been a very pleasant companion. Instead, he wrote a brief note: I'm gone. For good. I'll miss you. At least the way you were once. I can't take all my things. Do with them what you want. Eric P.S. Thank your parents for their kindness and hospitality.

He left the house quietly and started walking. To where, he didn't know.

Brian's parents arrived home at four-thirty Monday morning from Sacramento. Mrs. Winston went straight to bed, thinking her two "sons" were sleeping and wouldn't want to be disturbed. Dr. Winston showered, fixed and ate a big breakfast, and left the house at six to make his hospital rounds before his first patient's appointment in his office at nine. It was not until seven Monday evening, at dinner, that the obvious question arose: "Where's Eric?" Mrs. Winston asked.

Brian was prepared with an answer, one that would explain Eric's disappearance and most likely lessen his parents' displeasure at losing their `second son'. "We had an argument," Brian said with fake sadness. "I'm afraid it got pretty ugly. He stormed out of the house yesterday morning. I don't know where he went."

What was the argument about?" his father asked. "It must have been serious."

"Yes, it was." Brian shrugged his shoulders and dropped his head but said no more.

"Come on, Brian," his mother urged. "Tell us what it was about and why he left."

The young man hesitated before saying, "I woke up yesterday morning and Eric was...." He stopped talking.

"Was what?" both of his parents demanded.

"He had his hand inside my underwear. He was fondling my penis. I pulled away from him and jumped out of bed. I asked him why he was doing it. He just grinned at me. That made me mad. He said as long as I had an erection he could take care of it for me. I was shocked and told him NO WAY. He begged me to let him. He wanted -- this part isn't nice -- he wanted to suck my penis. I told him I didn't want any part of homosexual stuff. He kept pleading with me. I called him a queer fag. Then HE got mad. We shouted at each other for a while. Then he got dressed and left."

The adults were shocked. "And you haven't seen him since yesterday morning?" his mother asked.

"I saw him in school today ... between classes ... in the hallway. But he saw me, too. He turned around and walked away from me."

"Think, Son," Dr. Winston urged. "Where would he be likely to go ... to spend the night."

"I haven't a clue. I know for sure he wouldn't go back to his place because he was scared of what his dad would do to him."

"Did he have any money for food?" his mother asked.

"I think so but I didn't see him in the cafeteria at lunch today."

"I'll file a missing person report," his father said. "He may have perverted tastes in sex but he shouldn't have to be alone with no place to stay."

Brian was not prepared for that idea. Thinking fast, he said, "I don't think that's a good idea, Dad. I don't think Eric would want that. If the police or somebody else finds him, they may try to return him to his father. His safety and even his life may then be in danger." Just to strengthen his case, Brian added, "Even if it wasn't, living with a drunken father is not what he'd want. He told me that many times."

Brian congratulated himself on telling a convincing lie that explained Eric's disappearance AND (he hoped) made his parents feel better about losing their `second son'. At least he had convinced them not to search for him and bring him back. If they did that, the temptation to be friends again, to have more sex, and to jeopardize his long-term plans would be intolerable.

<><><><><>

Having slept in a wooded area behind the high school building, he awoke sore from the hard ground, chilly, and hungry. He checked his watch. Six forty. He had time to piss, sneak into the building through a rear entrance he knew would be unlocked, and freshen up in a bathroom. Soap, water, and paper towels were a poor substitute for a hot shower but it was better than nothing. Unfortunately, he had no razor so he would have to go through the day with stubble on his face.

It was after third period, just before lunch, when he saw Brian on his way to the cafeteria. His former friend and might-have-been lover exhibited obvious signs of surprise but otherwise completely ignored Eric. The exiled teen wanted to ask the reclusive loner whether his parents had come home and how they were but he didn't because he would be subjected to yet another dose of venomous contempt.

Unlike their habit before the breakup, they sat at different tables. For the remaining two weeks of the school year, they never spoke and rarely made eye contact.

After his third morning camping in the woods, he snuck into the school building to freshen up and shave. (He had splurged on a cheap disposable safety razor but would have to use soap from the dispenser rather than shaving cream.) On his way to the bathroom, however, one of the school custodians stopped him. "Whatcha doin' here?" he demanded. "Ya know school ain't open `till seven."

"So I'm a little early," Eric replied, trying not to sound belligerent or guilty. "That's not a problem, is it?"

"Yes, `tis," the man replied. "But there might be a bigger problem. I seen ya walkin' outta the woods. Whatcha doing back there?"

"Studying nature," Eric replied.

"Bull shit!" the man shot back. "Ya ain't the first lad who's spent the night back yonder after a fight with his folks. Now, ya gonna be honest with me?"

Eric weighed his options. He could stick to his story but he was convinced the man wouldn't believe it. He could tell the truth and beg for understanding. In spite of the man's overt gruffness, Eric knew from past experience that he was basically a soft-hearted person so he confessed, "Okay. I'm living back there. Temporarily. You see, I left my first home because my Dad got mean when he was drunk and that was every night. I stayed at a friend's house for a while. But I can't do that now. I'd rather not explain why. Let's just say I'm not welcome there anymore."

The custodian softened his tone considerably and asked, "How old are ya, Son?"

"Eighteen."

"Pity. If'n ya was younger, Family Services would find a place for ya to stay. Come with me."

"Where are we going?" Eric asked.

"To the kitchen in the cafeteria if it makes any difference. Now come on. We don't have much time."

In the dimly-lit kitchen, the man said, "I reckon if'n ya got no money for a place to stay, ya prob'ly got not much for food." He took two cheese sandwiches and two small cartons of milk out of the refrigerator. "Stuff these in yur backpack, Sonny. At least yur gonna have something to eat. It ain't much but maybe it'll help."

The kindly man was right; Eric had little to eat for three days and was down to his last fifteen dollars and seventy-nine cents. "Thank you, Sir," Eric said. "But I don't want to get you in trouble."

"Let me worry bout that. Now listen up. Tomorrow, I'll be waitin' for ya with somethin' a bit more hearty. Why yur in this pickle is none of my business an' if'n ya don't wanna talk bout it, that's okay. But I don't wanna see a fine young man waste away to nothin'."

For the remaining few days of the school year, Eric was supplied with food by the friendly custodian -- not in abundance but easily enough for two meals a day. During that time, he saw Brian at school frequently but they never spoke. Also during that time, his grieving over having lost his home diminished. As did his former affection for Brian. However, he would carry the painful memories of being ejected from the house forever ... along with his confusion about what made Brian do it.

On the last day of school, Eric met the custodian (whose name he learned was Stan) as he entered the school well before the time it normally opened. "Whatcha gonna do now that school's over and yur graduatin'?" he asked.

"Get a job. A paycheck. A place to live."

"I got a suggestion," Stan said. "For a place to live, I mean. My next door neighbor is an old man. Lives alone. All crippled up with arthur-itis. A college kid has been takin' care o' him but he graduated and is movin' back East with a new job. That leaves the old man with nobody to help im cause he can't afford to hire nobody. Fix meals. Get dressed. Get in and outta the tub. Stuff like that. If'n ya like, I'll talk to `im. He can't pay ya but he'll let you stay in a spare bedroom if'n ya would help him. Before and after yur regular job, that is. Would ya be interested in that?"

It was a "no-brainer" for Eric and he said, "I sure would, Stan."

Stan grinned. "Meet me at the back door -- the one ya always sneak in through -- when I get off work at five. I'll take ya to his place so's ya can meet each other."

Lady luck -- and Stan's compassion -- solved Eric's increasingly difficult problem of where to live.

<><><><><>

The high school graduation was full of inspirational speeches, excited graduates, and proud parents and relatives. No one in the audience was more proud than Dr. and Mrs. Winston. Their son, in spite of being a social outcast, had persevered the taunts of snobbish classmates and the loneliness of isolation to earn his diploma ... with honors. And he would be attending MIT in the fall.

Their joy and pride was tempered, however, by nagging worries about the fate of Eric, their `second son', who had survived an abusive and emotionally wrenching ordeal but maintained his resolve to finish school. They strongly disapproved of his sexually accosting Brian but were nevertheless concerned about his welfare.

Unlike nearly all of the graduating class, neither Brian nor Eric attended any graduation parties. Eric did not even attend the graduation ceremony largely because he had no money to rent the cap and gown. He regretted not being able to attend because it had been the goal that motivated him to stay in school in spite of the difficulties he faced -- two periods of homelessness and the problems with his father and with Brian. But he consoled himself with the knowledge that he had graduated. And that he had shelter (He didn't consider it a "home.") and a job.

Perhaps his future would be brighter than his teen years. But he didn't realize at the time the surprising turn of events that would shape his future.

To be continued

AUTHOR'S NOTE: Iatia's thorough editing and his valuable suggestions deserve recognition and appreciation.