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Chapter 15
Tony's Point of View
All I could do was keep running. I never stopped to think how irrational I was being. The only thing that I could see was the look of hatred Mitch gave me after the verdict was read. So to prevent hearing the hurtful things that I heard in my dreams, I ran. I didn't drive, but thankfully the courthouse was not to far from the law firm. I made my way to the office, with my mind going a million miles per minute.
"I can't believe, that I was the cause of all of this...I'm the reason that Mitch has lost full custody of his children" I thought to myself as tears ran down my face. "I should have never gotten involved with him, our beautiful boys...no I cant think like that anymore, the boys were never mine. His beautiful boys don't deserve to be split apart from their loving father. I've caused enough damage here, I think I need to go back up north...back to my old life...where no one can get hurt." I turned off my phone after finally making it to my car. It was time for me to go home.
Mitch's Point of View
(Still at the courthouse)
I had to wait to sign off on documents that the clerk of court prepared for both Rebecca and myself to sign stating that we agreed to the terms. This process took entirely too long, the only thing I could think about as I robotically signed each form was where Tony was. I was so numb to everything else as this point because the look I saw in his was one I hope to never see again. He had the look of pure fear embedded in his beautiful eyes. We finally signed all the required documentation after about an hour, and I made my way over to my father and the other attorneys.
"I can't believe he just ran away like that dad...he looked so afraid. But the scary thing was, it looked as if he was afraid of me." I said to my father. "Well son, this is weighing heavy on all of this, just give Tony time, I'm sure he just needed some time to get himself together. Right now we need to regroup and figure out what needs to be done from here regarding the welfare of our boys. We all know Rebecca doesn't want them, she is just using them to get to you in her sick and twisted little way; just give Tony some time, he will be fine. I'm sure of it." My father replied to me. I knew deep down that he was right. But I've already partially lost my two baby boys; I can't lose the love of my life as well. I don't know if I will be able to take it. I had to find Tony. I quickly got up and started exiting the courtroom, with my mind racing.
My thoughts were interrupted by the sound of someone clearing their throat. I turned around to see Rebecca's face sneering at me. "So Mitch, I see your little boyfriend has ditched you. What are you going to do now?" She gleefully said with hatred in her eyes. I couldn't even respond to her. It took everything I have to control myself. I couldn't and wouldn't let her get the best of me. She took my silence as her having gotten the best of me. She continued, "Why don't you stop playing games now, and let me come home. Tony is gone Mitch. He finally got a clue in his faggy little brain, that he will never have you. He knows that your heart belongs to me. You know you are still in love with me, so stop putting this little charade on. I am ready and willing to go and talk to the judge right now, and put this all behind us. I need you to..."
I cut her off right there. "I can not believe you!" I said trying to modulate my voice down to a whisper, because my temper was definitely getting the best of me after hearing what she just said to me. I continued, "You have the audacity to come to me, and disrespect my partner!" Rebecca's eyes bucked at me calling Tony my partner. "Yes Bitch, my partner. You heard me correctly. Tony is my partner, and that will never change. But by some small chance of he and I not working out, you and I will never...I repeat never be together again! And I will not stop until I have full custody of my boys, you can count on that!" I said to her as I walked out of the courtroom foyer. As I was walking away, Rebecca shouts to me "You will regret this Mitchell Alexander Brown! Mark my words, you will regret this!" I then heard the bitch's attorney, trying to calm her down. I didn't even look back, at this point. The only thing that mattered to me right now, was finding Tony.
I searched high and low for Tony. I went to every restroom the courthouse had open to the public, as well as checked all of the various clerk's offices, and waiting rooms. But there was no sign of Tony. I tried dialing his phone, but was sent straight to voicemail. I figured he might have just gone to the truck, so I made my way out to the parking garage to see if he was there. When I arrived to the car he wasn't there. I then started to panic.
I then dialed my dad. "Dad have you seen Tony?" I almost shouted into the phone when he picked up. "No son I haven't, hold on I'm with the other partners and Francine. Let me ask them if they saw him." I heard voices in the background as my dad asked his colleagues if they'd seen Tony. He then came back on the phone. "Son, Francine said that she saw him go out the front door of the courthouse, he must have needed to get some fresh air. Have you tried calling his cell phone?" I replied to him, "Yes dad, I have. He's turned off his phone or it's dead, because I keep being sent straight to voicemail."
My dad then said, "Well son, I can hear the panic in your voice. Just try to calm down; I'm sure Tony is ok. He probably just needs some breathing room right now, and I think you do as well. Just go ahead back to the office, see if he's there. I'm going to tie up some lose strings here at the courthouse, so Francine and I will be riding back to the office together. If I see him, I'll be sure to have him give you a call." I replied, "Ok dad." And then I hung up the phone.
I cranked up the Ranger Rover, and made my way to the office. All the while, thinking what could have caused Tony to run off like that. I just couldn't fully wrap my mind around it. I know this is a lot of stress on him, coming into his first relationship with someone, someone much older then him on top of that. In addition to that, he made the decision to take on the responsibility of being a parent with me. I love Tony more then I have ever loved anyone. No one will ever be able to compare to him. No one will ever take his place. His heart and soul are so pure. He's so innocent. I can't lose him. I have to find him to make sure that he is ok. I promised to always protect him, and I intend on keeping that promise forever.
I finally made my way back to the office, and pulled in the parking garage. Tony's car was missing from his assigned parking space. I then decided that maybe, he went to home. So I made my way to the house, with my mind still having the same thoughts of earlier. But when I got there, he wasn't there. I then thought, well maybe he went to his apartment. So I went there next, and still no Tony. At this point, I'm really starting to freak out. I repeatedly call his phone, leaving a voice message each time. Pleading with him to call me back.
The thought crossed my mind to call Mama, but I didn't want to worry her with pops just having a heart attack. I would just head back home and wait for Tony to return my call or to come home. This has turned into the worst day of my life. First my boys, and now the love of my life...
Tony's Point of View
(7 hours later in Washington, DC)
It was as if I was on autopilot the whole way to Washington, DC. I'm surprised I made it all of the way up here in one piece. My mind definitely wasn't focused on driving that's for sure. The only thought's I was having is what I was going to do now. I basically abandoned my new job, my school, but most importantly I had abandoned Mitch and the boys when they needed me most. But my mind keeps telling me that he was going to end it with me. The reality of the situation was so close to what I dreamed, that I couldn't bare him saying that he didn't want me anymore. So like a coward I left.
I decided against getting a hotel room, although it was after midnight. I knew mama would kill me if she knew I drove all the way here, and didn't come straight home when I got here. So I made my way to the Spring Valley section of DC, where our family home was. My stomach was growling as I drove, I then realized that I hadn't eaten since earlier this morning. I hoped mama had some antipasto at least when I got home.
I finally pulled into the drive way after making it through the maze of downtown DC. I realized then that I'd cut off my iPhone earlier in the day. I hesitated to turn it on, knowing that I was going to see a ton of missed calls and voice mails. What I saw was enough to make my stomach sink all the way to my toes, there were over 20 missed calls from Mitch, calls from Dad Brown, my mom, and even Lisa at the firm. I saw that Mitch had left a couple of voicemails, but I couldn't stomach listening to them at this point. So I got out of my car and made my way to the front door.
As I made it onto the porch, the lights came on and the door swung open. And out came my mother, who pulled me into her arms. I all but lost it at this point, as she rubbed my back saying, "There, there papo, let it out. Mama is here." She slowly backed into the foyer, and I looked to see my dad waiting in his pajamas and robe. He then engulfed us in a hug, as I continued to cry.
After a couple of minutes, I've finally regained my composure. I wiped my face, and then sheepishly said, "I'm sorry mama and pop. I just am so overwhelmed right now." My dad stepped towards me, and wrapped his arm around my shoulder, and brought me close to him and then kissed my forehead. He then said, "Never apologize for showing emotion Tony. We love you, and that's why we are here. If you can't show emotions to your parents, then who can you show them to?" My mom then stepped in and said, "Come on papo, let's go to the kitchen I'm sure your hungry. We need to talk as well."
We then made our way to my mom's beautiful gourmet kitchen. My dad and I sat down at the oversized island as my mom pulled out there left over dinner of eggplant Parmigianino, with a green salad. As she set about preparing a plate for me, she said, "OK papo, spill it. What is going on? Mitch called me about 10:30 this evening frantic because he hadn't heard from you since the court hearing earlier this afternoon. It took everything I had to calm him down; he is so worried about you. Your father even had to talk with him. I promised him I would call if I head from you, but before I do I need to understand what's going on. Now tell me what's wrong papo?"
I swallowed, than I proceeded to tell my parents the events that took place in my dream. Then I told them what happened today in court, up until Mitch turned around and looked at me with those same eyes that I saw in my dream. My dad then said, "Son, I know the similarities between your dream and what happened in court today might have frightened you, but the man I spoke to earlier this evening was not one who didn't love you. The man I spoke to was broken, and confused. He is trying to figure out what he's done to cause you to run off like this." My mom then said, "He's right papo, Mitch is confused and in pain right now. He is at a lost since he hasn't been able to contact you."
She came around the counter and hugged me to her chest, then said, "Baby I know you are afraid...this is a lot to take in. You went to South Carolina a little over month ago, and never did you or your father and I think that you would automatically gain a family so quickly. That man down there in Columbia, SC loves you just as much as your father and I love each other. I'm sure of it." I then looked up at my mother, and then over at my father and said, "But mom I'm so afraid. I blame myself for Mitch losing full custody of his kids, it's all my..." My father then cuffed me on the back of the said, and I turned to him scowling while I rubbed the spot where he hit me and said, "Hey! What was that for?"
He smirked and said, "That was for three different reasons, first you are blaming yourself for something that you have no control over. South Carolina is a deeply republican state. Therefore, they are very conservative. The fact that Mitch was able to retain partial custody of MY grandsons speaks a lot to how times are changing. Now I don't ever want to hear you say it's your fault again. Oh, and secondly, you said his kids earlier, as in the boys only have one father. Now Tony, you Mitch may not have impregnated you, in the sense of you giving birth to his child." He then stopped to laugh realizing what he had just said, which made me smirk.
My mother then cuffed him on the back of the head. Basically repeating the same actions I did earlier after his assault. He said "Hey! What was that for?" My mom replied, "For being a dirty old man, that's what it was for. Now continue!" He rubbed his head and said, "Ok, what I was trying to say before I was brutally assaulted was that although you may not have given birth to those boys, you are still their second father. You have been with them, devoting your time, energy, and effort to their wellbeing since they were brought home from the hospital. You love those to two little boys more then you love any one, just as if you gave birth to them. You want to know how I know that's how you feel?" I looked up at my dad, and said, "Yeah pop, how do you know?"
A tear started running down his face, and he said, "Because I saw the way you looked at them. It's the same look I gave you, and your brothers when we brought you home from the hospital. Back then I knew that I would do anything to protect you guys from the evils of todays world, and I bet you feel the same about them, don't you?" I nodded my head with tears running down my face. He then said, "I know you do son, your mother and I raised you to love and protect, those you care about. And I know without a doubt you love Mitch, and those beautiful babies."
I then wiped my eyes, and said, "Thanks dad, I really needed to hear that. But what was the third reason you cuffed me on the back of the head for?" He chuckled, and then said, "Oh, I just felt like doing it at the time." My mother then cuffed him on the back of the head, and then cut him off before he could say anything, "Before you ask what that was for, it was for hitting my baby after he's had a rough day. Now Tony go on upstairs, your room is just as you left it. Get some rest. We'll talk some more in the morning." She then kissed my forehead, and my father followed suit. I then said, "Thank you guys for putting me on the right track. I love you two so much, but I'm beat. I'm about to go crash." As I was walking away, my mother said, "I'm going to call Mitch and let him know that your safe, and you're here with us." I replied back, "Thanks mama, I don't think I'm in the right mind to talk to him at the moment. But let him know I will call him first thing in the morning when I wake up." She yelled back as I made my way up stairs "Ok papo, goodnight! And I love you!"
I made my way up the stairs, up to my old room. When I got in, I went to my en suite bathroom and hopped in the shower. I washed away the grime of the day, as I thought about everything that happened today, as well as everything that my parents told me. I felt so stupid and immature to let a dream cause me to run away from the person that means the most to me. But more then anything, I was ashamed. I didn't know how I was going to explain all of this to Mitch, but I knew that I would eventually have to. I got out of the shower and dried myself off, and then I hopped into bed.
I found a spare charger in the nightstand beside my bed. I plugged it into the wall, and then I plugged my phone into it. I lied down, and I listen to the last voicemail that Mitch sent. He said "Tony I love you, never doubt that...please call me back baby." After hearing Mitch's voice, I felt even guiltier for running away from him. I decided against calling him, but I decided to send him a quick text. It said
I'm in DC at my mom and dad's place. I'm safe, and I'm so sorry for running away. I will talk to you in the morning. I love you.
I then sat my phone on the nightstand, turned over and drifted off to sleep. Sometime in the early morning hours, I felt a pair of strong arms wrap around my waist pulling me close to them.