The Tragedy of Daniel and Jake Chapter 12 By John Meyers
Disclaimer: Alright, I do not own the songs, "Say" by John Mayer, or the song, "Iris" by The Goo Goo Dolls. This story involves intimate detail about an ever-evolving gay romance between a small group of teenagers. If you are too young to legally read this: whatever. I don't even care to pretend to care about it anymore. Read all you want to, and I hope you enjoy the story!
Eli's POV
Okay, calm down. Mrs. Julie is in front of the class, talking about a math problem I don't understand, and I'm back here in my seat falling apart. 'Look,' I told myself. 'Things are just getting serious and you're freaking out! That's all this is! You always do this!' I always start freaking when things get serious. I hate that I do, but I do. It's what happened with Dakota! I had two other boyfriends before Danny as well, but they went to other schools so I'm not going to talk about them, but I did the same thing with them too!
Everytime things start getting serious; I start screwing up! Take what happened with Dakota and I for example! Most people see Dakota as this flirt who just sleeps around, but when the chips were down between us... It wasn't him that ended things... It was me.
I can feel Austin's heat from beside me... And it felt good! Dammit! Stop this shit! I am in a wonderful relationship with Danny, who by the way, is amazing! He's perfect!... So why am I thinking about Austin?...
I'm a horrible person, that's why. For the rest of the period, I stayed sitting as far from Austin as my desk would allow, but I could still feel him there. I tried to ignore him, but I could still feel his presence, his body heat. I could still smell his cologne and feel his beautiful blue eyes drilling into me with such a powerful intensity.
As soon as the bell rang, I rushed out the door, ready to sprint to my other class... Until I remembered I was supposed to show Austin around. DAMN!
I stopped outside class and waited for him. When he saw me standing there, I swear he smiled so perfectly... I felt my heart jump. NO! I am Daniel's boyfriend! I got ahold of his schedule and felt a mixture of disappointment and relief when I saw his next class was not one we had together. I have EAST, which is supposed to be a computer class, but with exception of the work for the EAST conference, we didn't really do much. Most of the time I messed around with photoshop.
I walked him to his next class, which was AP Art. He gave me a smile that left butterflies in my stomach as he walked into the room. DAMN!
Once I made it into EAST, I knew I was doomed. There's absolutely nothing whatsoever that can distract me from thinking about Danny and Austin. This is so stupid! Danny and I are so good together! I thought back to Friday when we gave eachother those Valentine's Day gifts. I knew exactly what to get him. His face lit up so amazingly. It's like he wasn't even Danny anymore. He was just this being of pure happiness. THAT'S what Danny and I have. My fingers absentmindedly linger up to the locket around my neck.
Always... That's the engraving on the outside of the locket. The picture... He's Danny. No one can compete with him... Then the thought hits me before I have time to stop it. 'Except maybe Austin,' I hear myself think. DAMMIT! I have to excuse myself to the restroom or I'm going to start crying right here in class. I power walked to the bathrooms, struggling to hold my composure. As soon as I go through the doors and shut the stall behind me, I fall apart. The tears pour from my eyes and I grab ahold of my hair, trying to hold on to something.
WHY?!!
WHY? WHY? WHY? What the hell is so special about Austin?! He's not Danny! Danny doesn't deserve me! I don't deserve him! Danny deserves someone who is completely, irrevocably devoted to him in every way. Suddenly my ticket idea seems very weak. He got me this. I take the locket from around my neck and look at it. 'Always' It says so right there on the heart. Danny is devoted. Danny, even with all that crap with Jake, I know he would never look at another guy like that while he was in a relationship. It wouldn't matter who he was in a relationship with. He wouldn't be getting a crush on a new kid!
Danny's too good for me! He's an angel and I'm some kind of demon. I have to be a demon to be thinking like this, questioning our relationship. Danny is just too perfect... And no matter what I do, I'll never deserve him. No one will.
I don't realize I'm sniffling and being very obvious about my crying until I hear the door open and close. SHIT! I wipe my nose and struggle to contain my breathing, but it doesn't work and my breath still hitches. The person who came in stopped walking. I could tell because I couldn't hear the person's footsteps anymore.
"Hello? Is someone in there? Are you alright?" No. No, this can't be happening. My entire world has to be coming to an end. Because the person who's talking; the person who's voice is so familiar to me; is the voice of the person who is famed at this school for helping kids out, even the one's he doesn't know. The person who's speaking is Danny. ----------------------------------------------------------------
Danny's POV
'Surely I'm not jealous.' I think to myself as I zone out during AP Cal, thinking about why I kissed Eli last period. 'Did the new kid get to me? That's insane, why on earth would the new kid get to me? It doesn't make any sense. I need to talk to someone.' I look around for the one person who I know will understand: Dakota.
I begin scribbling on a piece of paper, "Can I talk to you?" and then subtly reach over while the teacher isn't looking and set it on his desk. He looks over the paper and writes something down, handing it back to me.
"Sure. What's up?" I put down my reply, "It's about Eli." and hand it back to him. He reads it and looks up at me, his eyes wide with alarm. He scribbles really quickly and gives it back.
"What happened?" What indeed? I put down my reply.
"I kissed him at school."
"That it?"
"I think I kissed him because I was jealous."
"Jealous of what?"
"This new kid in my Spanish class."
"Why?"
"I think Eli was looking at him. As in... checking him out."
"Are you sure?"
"... Pretty sure..."
"Do you really think you're the jealous type?" He gave me a smirk as he handed me the paper back.
"It's not just that. It's just that I've... heard things..."
"About what? Eli and the kid that's been here for less than four hours?"
"No. I heard some things a long time ago that... kind of was the reason I never wanted to go out with Eli before." Dakota's face grew grim as he read and he wrote out his reply.
"What?"
"Can I ask you something about when you and Eli..." He sighed deeply.
"Yeah."
"What exactly happened between the two of you? Why did things... Not work out?" Dakota held on to the paper for a few more minutes while he thought about what he was going to write.
"Not here. Too long and complicated to write. Go to the bathroom. Meet you there in ten minutes." He set the paper down and I read it. Okay. It's not like I'm learning anything from my teacher today anyway.
"Mrs. Julie, can I use the restroom?"
"Sure, just take a hall pass." I retrieved the pass from next to the door and began walking to the restrooms. Was what happened really that bad, that he couldn't write it down.
I pushed open the bathroom door and walked inside, intending to just stand around until Dakota came in, but then I heard something. Sniffling. Someone was in the stall crying.
"Hello? Is someone in there? Are you alright?" I called out, noting that whoever it was stopped. They didn't make a sound. I briefly considered knocking on the stall door, but decided against it. Just as I was about to say something else, the door unlatched and swung forward slowly.
Out of the stall stepped a boy my age, with puffy red eyes and a messed up fohawk. Eli.
"Eli... What's wrong?" Instinctively I went toward him to comfort him, but he shrank away. Hurt, I placed my hand on his cheek lightly and tilted his face up so he would look at me. "Eli..." I whispered. Without warning he lunged forward and wrapped his arms around me so tight, my ribs actually hurt.
He sobbed into my shoulder, drenching it in warm tears. I just put my arms around him and we stood there until I felt him calming down.
"Danny...." I heard his voice, filled with pain. "We..." Then he said the last four words anyone in a relationship ever wants to hear. "We need to talk." Then the doorknob to the bathroom began to turn.
Shit! It's Dakota. I wanted to turn and tell Dakota that we'd have to talk later, but then I froze. The person walking in wasn't Dakota. It was Josh, the school bully that Dakota had beaten up a few weeks ago. One look at us, standing there with Eli crying was all it took for everything to sink in for him. One thing definitely stuck out in his mind. 'Here, there are no witnesses, or Dakota to help.'
"Well, well, well. Look what we have here. A couple of faggots up to no good in the bathroom." God I hate that word. I'd rather say the n-word than say faggot.
"Nice to see you too, Josh. We were just leaving." I took Eli by the hand and attempted to leave, but he slid in front of me, planting his hand on the wall, blocking us.
"No need to rush. I didn't mean to interrupt your dick sucking or whatever else it is you do," He sneered and his arms flexed ominously. His eyes locked onto Eli. "Oh. Did the little faggot get his feelings hurt?" He pushed both of us back, slamming us into the wall. "Or maybe you two were just fucking around in the stall. Bet that's why your crying faggot, right? Danny boy here do that to you, faggot?" Maybe it was the use of the same name my father calls me, maybe it was that he'd said faggot too many times, I don't know, but next thing I was aware of was my fist slicing through the air and slamming into Josh's jaw.
Caught off guard, Josh fell back, clutching his face. Rage filled his eyes and I knew instantly that this would not end well. He stood, his anger growing, until he towered over me.
"Mistake," He said, and then pulled his fist back to rearrange my face. Suddenly, the bathroom door opened and Josh turned to look at the new intruder. This time it was Dakota, and one look told him everything he needed to know about what was going on. He saw Josh, pissed, with his fist pulled back, me comforting a crying Eli. I don't know what exactly he thought happened, but he went off.
In a split second Dakota was across the room and tackled Josh, slamming him into the wall. Josh pounded on Dakota's back as he lifted Josh up and threw him into a stall. Dakota pulled his foot back and kicked Josh straight in the face. Again and again he kicked him.
"Don't you EVER let me catch you laying ONE GODDAMN FINGER on anyone else! UNDERSTAND!" He kicked him once more to be sure and left him on the ground, moaning in pain. "Eli, are you alright? Did this fucker touch you?" He came over to Eli and I backed away instinctively. Dakota didn't pay me any attention, instead he had eyes only for Eli.
"Did he hurt you, Eli?" Dakota cupped Eli's face in his hands and Eli shook his head, too confused by everything that was happening. I felt like an intruder. Dakota turned his head to Josh and said, "You better be glad you didn't hurt him, else you wouldn't be getting taken out of here on a stretcher. You'd be in a body bag," I felt goosebumps travel up my arms at the implication of what he'd just said. He would kill for Eli.
"Dakota, maybe we should leave, you know, before someone else comes in here and sees this?" The last thing I wanted for any of us was to be in here if the principal came in. "We could go to the bathroom in the other building," Please just come on.
"You two go on ahead," He looked at Josh. "I need to have a word with Josh," I did not envy Josh, so I took Eli's hand and we walked out the door and to the other bathroom. ----------------------------------------------------------------
Dakota's POV
"Alright," I kneeled beside Josh and looked him in the eyes. "You had better count yourself lucky that you didn't touch Eli. If I ever even hear of you bullying anyone else again, I will personally see to it that you aren't able to come back to school for months, years, or preferably not at all. You know I can kick your ass seven ways to Sunday, so don't try and pretend like you can do a damn thing. Also, you're not going to tell anyone about what happened, are you? You wouldn't want everyone knowing that you got beaten up by a gay guy, now would you?" I looked into Josh's eyes to make sure he got the point. "I thought not. Make up whatever you want to about what happened, I don't care, but be very careful what you say, because if anyone else has to suffer for it, I'll make sure you're held responsible." I stood, enjoying seeing that asshole beaten. "All the best, Josh." Then I walked out, proceeding to the other bathroom.
I walked down the hall, feeling giddy. I always feel giddy when I get to show assholes like Josh what's what. When I entered the bathroom, I was greeted by a strange sight. Eli and Danny were making out. Danny had Eli pressed against the wall and both of them were running their hands through each other's hair. They didn't notice me at first.
"Ahem," I cleared my throat and they both snapped apart, wide eyed at having been caught. They calmed down once they realized it was me. "Anyone want to tell me what that was all about?"
"We were talking," Eli began. "and Josh came in and started... Being Josh," Eli stole a look at Danny and said, "Danny punched him, but he kinda just got even more pissed off. That was when you came in." His hand crept over to Danny's and the two of them gave each other shy smiles. Awwww. They're such a cuuute couple. Although I did find it odd that I was the one who just kicked a guy's ass, but Danny is the one getting the action.
I was going to ask them if they worked whatever was going on out, given the attention they were paying to one another, but I decided against it as the bell rang.
"Crap! We still have to get our stuff from Calculus. See you in English Eli." I turned and left, zooming through people in the hallway. I rushed into the room and grabbed my stuff, turning and running up to AP English. My hurry wasn't so much based off of a fear of being late as it was that this was the only class I had with Tom. He was already in there when I walked in, so I slid into the seat next to him and leaned into him playfully.
"Hey there," I couldn't help but smile when I was around Tom. He just... Makes me happy.
"Hey," He took my hand in his. "How's your day been?"
"Pretty good so far. I went to-" I stopped mid sentence because I didn't think I should mention anything about Danny and Eli, even if it seems like they've worked it out.
"Went to what?" I was about to answer when I was saved by the teacher walking into the room, followed shortly by the bell.
"Okay class, today we're.." Already I was zoning out, just focusing on the warmth of Tommy's hand while I held it. Danny and Eli never came in, but I noticed the new kid, Austin, walk in the door. Damn. All the new kids are really piling into our class. I wonder where Danny and Eli ran off to... ---------------------------------------------------------------
Danny's POV
I can't believe he said it, "We need to talk." That's the worst possible thing he could possibly say. What did I do? I racked my brain, wondering what the hell I could have done. Ugh! I can't think of anything! Unless... No, surely it's not the new kid.
Eli and I were in my car. We both decided to skip Med Pro today. I didn't feel like going, plus I had such a high grade in that class, I could miss a month of class and still be number one. I'm driving back to my house, thinking about how we'll handle the situation. Maybe...
I got an idea right as we pulled into my house. I wasn't just, super excited about the idea, but it was something. We both got out of the car, walking up the sidewalk and into the house. As soon as the door closed, I heard him start to say something.
"Danny, lis-" I silenced him by pressing my mouth to his. Slowly he began to respond and we made out for a few minutes until I could feel his dick pressing into mine through our shorts. "Danny-" Eli began to say when we broke for air. I put a stop to his words by grabbing his cock through the denim of his jeans and pushing my mouth back to his.
"Don't," I told him. "Don't say anything," One of Eli's hands was tangling itself in my hair at the same time that the other one was pushing against my chest.
"Danny," Eli whispered. I took this as a sign to continue and began to suck on his neck, tracing patterns across his satin soft skin with my tongue. "Danny stop!" Eli growled, pushing me away. For a moment we stood there, unsure of what to do. "We both know what you're trying to do," There it was: everything out in the open. Dread filled my stomach. What should I do? I am glued to where I'm standing, unable to move. What happens now?
Eli reached out and took my hand and began to move... then the oddest thing happened. Stuff started crashing around upstairs. What the hell? I looked up when the thought hit me. SOMEONE'S IN THE HOUSE!!! Oh my God! Oh my God! The stairs began thundering as whoever it was raced down to get us. Terrorized, I yanked the door open, dragging Eli with me just as I heard, "Danny! Danny! Wait!" Mark? ----------------------------------------------------------------
Mark's POV
"And all I can taste is this moment"
"And all I can breathe is your life"
"'Cause sooner or later it's over"
"I just don't want to miss you tonight"
I sang along with the lyrics to "Iris" by The Goo Goo Dolls. It's one of two songs on my iPod I thought would help me get in the mood to do what I'm about to do. The other song is, "Say" by John Mayer.
"And I don't want the world to see me"
"'Cause I don't think that they'd understand"
"When everything's made to be broken"
"I just want you to know who I am"
I repeated that lyric in my head over and over again while I sat on Danny's bed. "I just want you to know who I am," That one lyric describes me exactly at this moment. "It's better to say too much, than to never say what you need to say again." Those two songs, "Say" and "Iris" have been playing on repeat all day. I skipped school today. I've been trying to pump myself up. I've been trying to get myself motivated. I know that if I don't say it as soon as he walks through that door, if I have to think about it: I'll chicken out. I can't do that. But at the same time, no matter how much I try and convince myself otherwise, my entire life is about to change forever.
"When everything's made to be broken, I just want you to know who I am," I stood up in frustration, pacing around Danny's room like I know he does. Danny can pace across his room for hours. I've seen him. There's been times that he's so wrapped up in thought that he doesn't even notice the stairs squeaking. Danny... "I just want you to know who I am," Over and over again I've repeated those words. Do I really want him to know?
"Of course I want him to know! He's my best friend! He deserves to know." Just because he 'deserves' to know, doesn't mean you want him to know. "Dammit all, shut up! I am going to say it! I am going to tell him!" Are you sure? "Maybe not. Son of a bitch." My stomach was threatening to boil over and I felt dizzy. My breathing became more and more labored. "If this is what it felt like for Danny, then I've got to give him kudos on being able to say it without throwing up.
It's the worst possible nausea. I've never felt anything like it. That knowledge of telling someone is enough to make me sick. It's enough to make me break out in sweats, my mouth to go dry, my stomach to churn, my head to pound, my blood pressure to go up, to give me a fever, to make me want to punch a wall, run away, and cry all at the same time. I wanted to scream. I wanted to run a mile, I wanted to do anything, absolutely anything except this. I felt myself pulling at my hair.
Suddenly I couldn't take it anymore. I ran to the bathroom and heaved, emptying what I'd ate for lunch. After I'd thrown up, I rinsed my mouth out with sink water and popped in a piece of gum that I had. After a while, I just crawled onto his bed and curled into a ball, allowing the warmth of Danny's room to envelop me. Maybe I could get some sleep. Yeah right.
I don't know how long I waited there, although I suppose it was hours. I guess I just zoned out, because the next thing I knew, I could hear the door slam downstairs. What's going o- DANNY! I rolled over, knocking several things off of his nightstand as I hit the ground. Springing to my feet, I lunged for the door, turning and bolting down the stairs. As my feet touched the bottom floor, I noticed Eli standing there. Damn it all to hell! Then I saw Danny, and instantaneously felt myself about to throw up again.
"Danny! Danny! Wait!" ----------------------------------------------------------------
OOooOooooOooOOOOOooo!!!!!! I smell more story drama ahead! And lots of it! How do y'all like the chapter? I hope I described all the pre-coming out jitters correctly. Those are all the things I experienced when I came out for the first time and oh my god, I actually did throw up just from thinking about it. but anyway, review to johnmeyerz36@yahoo.com