Tracy's Epiphany, Chapter 2
When midterm exams were over, Tracy said that he was going to visit his parents and come out to them. He assumed that there were a lot of rumors flying around about the breakup of his marriage. Much as he didn't like facing what he thought their response would likely be, he felt it was time to clear the air.
Clete told him that he was going to do the same. Tracy's courage had inspired him. They agreed to text one another to keep posted on how things went.
Knowing that he might not be staying at his parents' home the whole weekend, Tracy packed light. There was no sense in taking too many changes of clothes other than underwear. On Friday afternoon, he began the 50-mile drive with a heavy but determined heart.
What transpired at the McCuiston home follow his assumptions rather closely. Although his mother, Janine, had prepared some of his favorite foods, dinner conversation was stilted because everyone was avoiding the subject of Tracy's divorce and what might have caused it. As they were eating dessert, she broached the subject.
"Adel has been telling around church that you've become tainted by the theater bunch you hung out with last spring. I want to hear the truth from you."
"It's a fact that the play, among other things, caused me to wake up to reality. The character I played was a bit over the top. He was a stereotype but not a lot worse than some of the ministers we've had. However, it wasn't that alone. Being out in the real world, one that's not controlled by our sect of Christianity, I've discovered that the world is more than 5,000 years old and it isn't flat."
"We've never said the world is flat!" she remonstrated.
"Okay, that part was a little joke. However, you can't deny that I was taught to distrust science and that we've been sexually repressed for generations. If I hadn't been, I'd have had a chance to understand my own orientation and I'd have never married in the first place."
"Are you saying that you're a homosexual?" Janine demanded.
"I'm gay."
"That's too good a word for what you are," his father, Frank, exclaimed.
"Well, we'll just have to fix that," his mother stated. "Your father and I will pay for the therapy. You'll have to drop out of school because you'll need to be away from the bad influences, and I think they'll keep you isolated until you're cured. Maybe you can get back with Adel after that."
"I have no intention of entering a program of conversion therapy! At best, it's a waste of money, and at worst, it can mess people up. Lots of kids who've been through it end up hating themselves, and in some cases taking their own lives. Being gay is a variant that God has allowed. It's not a sin or an illness."
"Your head has been filled with a lot of liberal nonsense! Until you come to your senses, you are no longer welcome in this house!" Frank shouted. "You are no longer part of this family. Don't expect any aid from us for the rest of your college expenses."
"If that's what it takes to be true to the person I am, it's worth the price. My tuition is covered by scholarships, and with my job, I have enough to live on. Adel isn't asking for any alimony. You have no hold over me. I had hoped that you might love me enough to attempt to understand."
"Get out right now!" his father demanded. "If you'd had an affair with another woman, I might have understood that."
"No problem; I'm out of here! You'll notice that I didn't bring my bag in from the car. Thanks for dinner; it was delicious."
And with that he left. A couple of blocks from his boyhood home, he pulled his car over and texted Clete. It wasn't long before Clete called him. Since the phone was plugged into his car, Tracy could answer without taking his hands off the wheel.
"Hey," Clete greeted him.
"Hey, yourself. As you can see, things went pretty much as expected. I'm sure I'm not in the will anymore."
"Things went quite a bit better for me and I'll tell you about it when I get back. I'll see you tomorrow night if you still want to get together."
"Cool! You know I want to."
"Should I bring a 12-pack of Bud Lite or something stronger?"
"Nah, I'm not going to overindulge. I think there are three cans left from last weekend. That should do it. I'll make those wings like I did the first time."
"Awesome! Drive carefully."
"I will, and thanks for coming home early. I could use the company."
"You're welcome. Bye."
"Bye."
Friday night Tracy slept better than he'd expected. Although he would miss his family, it was a relief to know he was free of the past. He would have to build a new life without them. That was okay. His growing-up years had been claustrophobic. Having spent a few hours with his parents again had brought it all back to him graphically.
On Saturday afternoon when Tracy got a text message from Clete that he was starting on his way back to school, Tracy invited him to come for supper. He could hardly wait to see his friend, even though they'd been apart only about 24 hours. As he analyzed his feelings, he realized how close the two of them had become in recent weeks. Although they hadn't been "intimate" in a physical sense, they had connected a lot on an emotional level. At least, Tracy thought they had. He hoped it wasn't all in his mind. He knew how happy he was to have Clete return earlier than planned. He was nearly counting the minutes until they would be together. He figured it wasn't one-sided because Clete was cutting short his time of being home in order to be with him.
While he was waiting, Tracy waxed philosophical, pondering all the changes he'd made in his outlook on life since coming to the university, especially in regard to religion. He wondered how people like his parents could reject their only son over his orientation. He decided that it had something to do with control. If they couldn't make their offspring adhere to their ideas of morality, their reaction was to simply push those children away; pretending they didn't exist.
What was it that motivated such behavior? Did it stem from the desire to achieve perfection? Were those church people attempting to compensate for their own imperfections by trying to impose their views on others? Perhaps Clete and he could find an answer by engaging in a scholarly discussion.
When Clete entered Tracy's apartment, all philosophical ruminations fled from Tracy's mind. Clete hugged him, and that was the best thing that had happened in a long while. Tracy had kept his emotions bottled up, but this honest expression of caring brought tears to his eyes.
"Hey, Bud, does my ugly face upset you that much?"
"Why do you keep putting yourself down? You're beautiful. These are tears of joy from knowing that I haven't lost everyone I care about."
"I'm not beautiful; you and Matt are," Clete responded.
"You're the nicest guy I know and you've got the biggest heart of anyone on campus. That makes you more attractive than Matt will ever be."
Tracy caught himself before things got out of hand. He wanted to tell Clete how much he cared for him, but he was afraid to. He didn't think Clete would put him down, but his heart was too fragile to risk having it broken again so soon. Instead, he formed a plan so that they could be closer, and he could judge if they were compatible enough to consider making a future together
"I've been thinking about how we've connected this fall," Tracy began. "We're like a team. Would you consider sharing this apartment with me spring term? It would save us both money in several ways. If we split the rent and it would be cheaper for you than living in the dorm. We could share our meals and we'd eat better too."
"That sounds great! Let's do it. The dorm will be closed over Christmas vacation, and I don't want to spend all that time with my family. They haven't disowned me, but you know how it is, kinda like waiting for the other shoe to drop."
"So, how DID things shake out when you told them you're gay?"
"Better than I'd feared. They still don't understand what two guys see in each other, but they're trying not to be judgmental. The new minister of their church isn't like the previous ones. He's trying to lead the congregation to be more accepting of people who are different – be that because of race, culture, or orientation. He insists that Jesus hung around with people who were marginalized in his society and when he said to love our neighbors, he didn't mean just the ones who look and act like we do."
"Whoa, that's a concept my parents would never buy into! They assume our neighbors have to be like us in order to be worthy. They conveniently forget that Jesus was a Jew! They're about as crazy as that missionary I played in Rain."
"Most of our past preachers have been somewhat like that too. I wonder how long this new one will last before someone decides to burn him at the stake for heresy.
"Um, speaking of the dorm being closed over holidays, I'm guessing you might not be going anywhere for Thanksgiving," Clete said.
"You're correct. I'm sure my parents will poison the rest of my relatives unless I call them and tell them that I'll do reparative therapy."
"Jeez! Don't even think of that!"
"I won't."
"So, I'm thinking you could have Thanksgiving with my family. We'd maybe stay over a night or two but not any longer. It's not so far but what we could just go for the day and come back that night if you felt uncomfortable. My old bedroom has twin beds like yours does here."
"Wouldn't they still be uncomfortable having another gay boy, that they don't even know, staying in their house? Wouldn't they assume I had something to do with making you gay?"
"No, they're beginning to accept that our orientation is determined by our genes rather than our conscious choices. They've come a long way. Besides, you're not a total stranger since they came to see the play."
"I suppose it would be okay. Why don't you feel them out about it before you invite me. If they don't want me, I'll just pretend you didn't come up with the idea in the first place."
"If they don't want you, I'll stay here and we can cook our own dinner."
One of the things the two did after receiving their midterm grades was to apply to graduate schools. Their grades were high enough that their major professor was certain they'd be able to go for an MBA in a quality school. He thought stiff competition might prevent them from being accepted in a place like Stanford but they could certainly make it in one of the top 40 business schools in the nation. That was good enough for them. They didn't want to move clear across the country anyway. They applied to several institutions in the South and a few in the North. It took some effort and several application fees, but they felt it was worth it. Hopefully, by spring term they would be able to plan more certainly for the future.
About a week before the holiday, Tracy received a Thanksgiving card in the mail from Clete's mother with an invitation to join them for several days as well as for dinner on that Thursday. Tracy was impressed that she'd taken the effort to send it by the postal service instead of relaying a text message through her son. Somehow, it seemed more genuine this way.
Tracy insisted on taking his car for the trip. He felt he should contribute to the dinner as well. He asked Clete what things might be welcome to bring. Finding that Clete's parents were no longer avoiding alcohol completely, Tracy suggested a white wine to go with their meal. Clete agreed that it could be a kind of icebreaker. And so, they stopped at a liquor store in Tennessee on their way.
Tracy was glad that he'd chosen to do the driving. Having to concentrate on traffic helped to keep him from obsessing over how the visit to Clete's family would go. Despite Lucinda's handwritten invitation, he found that he wasn't completely comfortable with the idea of meeting people who had, at one time, been almost as rigid in their religious beliefs as his parents. Could they have truly become as enlightened as Clete seemed to think? At least he had his own wheels in case he needed to beat a hasty retreat.
Ed and Lucinda Scarboro made Tracy feel welcome from the time he stepped into their kitchen late on Wednesday afternoon. There was a night and day difference between their demeanor and that of his parents.
Lucinda was beginning dinner preparations and asked her son to show Tracy to the room they'd be sharing.
"I'm sure you boys would like to get settled so you can relax after your drive."
"When we're done, may we do anything to help with dinner?" Tracy asked.
"No, I have everything under control, but thanks for asking. From what Clete's said about you, I knew you'd have good manners!"
The guys retrieved their bags from Tracy's vehicle and proceeded to the room which had been Clete's growing up. Clete was surprised when they got there. The twin beds had been replaced by a queen sized one since he'd been home a few weeks ago. There was also a recliner and a small TV.
"Um, I didn't know anything about this!" Clete exclaimed. "They knew I've been staying with you overnight sometimes, but I'm sure I told them you have two beds. I can sleep on the couch or something."
"That's certainly not necessary. It doesn't creep me out to share a bed with another male."
"Okay, I guess. I wonder what they were thinking."
"Probably they've assumed that our relationship has reached some new kind of plateau."
"I suppose I can ask them."
"I think we shouldn't say anything. It might make them uncomfortable. Let's just go with the flow," Tracy suggested.
"Okay. I'm cool with it if you are."
Their conversation was interrupted by Clete's younger brother, Chuck, who came out of his room to meet Tracy.
Chuck was a kind of average 15-year-old in many ways. He seemed to be full of energy, had a zit on his nose, and looked like he was growing taller as he stood there.
Tracy bumped fists with him, bringing a grin to his face.
"Do you guys want to shoot some hoops before we eat? Clete said you were a star in high school, and I'd like to learn from you," Chuck asked immediately.
"We've just gotten off the road. I'm not sure it's a good idea," Clete protested.
Chuck's face fell.
"Hey, your brother may not be up to it, but I am. It would be a good way to work the kinks out after sitting in the car that long. Let's do it," Tracy said.
Needless to say, Chuck took an immediate shine to Tracy. Clete joined them, of course. His reluctance to play had largely been an attempt to make an excuse for Tracy. As it turned out, all three enjoyed the time together.
Conversation around the dinner table was pleasant. There didn't seem to be an undercurrent. Mostly it revolved around what courses the college guys were taking and their plans for grad school. The other subject was Chuck's success on the court. He loved how his father and mother bragged about his skills. He was one of the youngest players on the team but was often in the starting lineup. His height was a major factor. However, he was also capable of pulling off game-winning three-pointers, making him a definite asset.
When the brothers got up to clear the table, Tracy joined them. It was Chuck's turn to tidy up the kitchen, and the college guys helped him so he wouldn't have to do it on his own. He wore a smile the whole time.
After they'd finished, everyone played a few hands of Five Crowns. None of them had grown up playing cards, so no one was at a disadvantage. It was a relaxing time, and it reminded Tracy of the things he'd missed in his life.
Before going to bed, the three young men took turns showering in the main bathroom. As their guest, Tracy got first crack at it. He tried not to take too long lest he use up the hot water. (Later, he found out that they had a tankless heater which never ran out.)
"I'm really enjoying this visit," Tracy remarked as Clete and he stood by the bed getting ready to retire for the night.
"Me too! They really have changed. Are you still comfortable about sharing this bed?"
"Yes I am. It makes me think that your parents are giving their tacit approval to us as a couple."
"Um, I didn't say anything to give them that idea. Are we a couple?"
"I'd like us to be. Are you okay with being boyfriends, or does that sound too junior high?" Tracy asked.
"It sounds awesome! I've dreamed that we might become that close some day."
"Me too."
Having said that, Tracy wrapped Clete in a tight embrace and kissed him on the lips. Clete immediately became aroused. Tracy joined him so rapidly that it was difficult to tell who had started first. Tracy ran his right hand under the waistband of Clete's boxers to caress his firm buns, causing the latter to make sounds of appreciation and copy the action.
It didn't take long for them to strip and fall on the bed, making out. Eventually, they assumed the 69-postion, pleasuring one another with the techniques they'd learned from Matt. This time, it was different because there was a bond with each other that they'd never felt with him. When their orgasms arrived, they brought an emotional high unlike any they'd known.
They spent quite a bit of time kissing in the afterglow. However, sleep eventually settled in as they snuggled.
Author's notes:
Thanks to those who emailed about the first chapter: Ken McC, Ott H, Bill T, Charles G, Geoff (1), GCD, Danny, Peter S, Gordon, Rod R, Lance C, Geoff (2), Mendy D, Jim W, Paul R, Si R, and Paul F. Your interest keeps me writing.
Thanks for reading this story. If you enjoyed it, please feel free to contact me a dlee169@hotmail.com and let me know. Your emails are the only reward I receive for writing. Please put the story title in the subject line in case your email goes into the spam folder.
Thanks to David S for editing. He finds typos and missing words! He also makes valuable suggestions.
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Thanks, David
P.S. I have a chronological list of all my posted stories which I can email to you if you have an interest.