Tracy's Epiphany © 2023 by David Lee
Chapter 1
Tracy and Adel McCuiston were the perfect young couple. He'd been the star basketball player in their little Christian high school and she had been the head cheerleader. He was tall, dark and handsome. She was blonde, nicely proportioned and blessed with flawless skin. They were beautiful and popular.
Both had participated in a chastity rite which, in their extremely conservative church, was viewed as insurance against the wonton type of behavior which might lead to an unwanted pregnancy. One young couple who hadn't participated in the ritual had been pushed into a hasty wedding after the girl had been found "with child." She had been shamed into marriage for not resisting her boyfriend's advances. Like Eve, she was considered the guilty party in the affair.
Having grown up in a highly authoritarian environment, it wasn't a big surprise to anyone when Tracy and Adel got married in the summer after their sophomore year in college. Couples often hastened to the altar because they didn't want to wait any longer to have sex. Initially, there was some speculation in the church community that they must have already broken their vow of celibacy. However, when Adel showed no signs of being pregnant by Christmas, rumors subsided. Their rushed marriage had been promoted by their pastor who bought into St. Paul's admonition in First Corinthians, that while he felt remaining single was best for those who served God, it was better for a man to marry than to burn with passion.
Once Tracy had tasted what had long been "forbidden fruit," he began to wonder what all the hoopla over sex had been about. It was okay, but it wasn't exactly what he'd assumed it would be. Copulation hadn't lived up to anticipation.
The whole experience of attending college had opened Tracy's eyes to the fact that the world wasn't exactly as he'd originally imagined it to be. It was a much larger place. His first inkling of that had occurred in his freshman year when he wasn't chosen to be on the A-team in basketball. Having been the star in his small high school, it really galled him to be considered second string. Most of the season, he warmed the bench. He was learning that the size of the frog is often judged in relation to the size of the pond. He didn't go out for any sports after that experience.
Because of his good looks and ability to memorize, he decided to try out for a small part in a play instead. He got a lot of positive feedback which made him decide to continue.
By his junior year, he was questioning other things in his life. He'd been taught to accept, without question, everything his church proclaimed as truth. Questioning religious authority was of the devil. Those who were true believers never allowed the shadow of a doubt to surface.
Despite the rather conservative atmosphere in this small, southern public university, he was becoming exposed to new, more open ways of thinking.
In the second semester of that year, Tracy got more heavily involved in theater. It was a mystery to his young wife that he chose to do it because their church had always felt that form of art to be the devil's work. She advised him not to read for the part of the missionary, Alfred Davidson, in the production of Somerset Maugham's Rain which would be staged in the spring. The subject matter was suspect at the very least. Even some of the faculty members were voicing their opposition to it. The tale of a religious zealot attempting to convert a whore, but instead getting entangled in a web of desire, wasn't the kind of play a respectable school should sanction. Surely, this would NOT end well.
Tracy got the part. In rehearsing for the show, he began to see the hypocrisy of the church he'd been raised in as he spoke the lines his character ranted. The man seemed to be obsessed with controlling other people's lives, especially their sexual behavior - rather like the leaders of his own sect of Christianity.
He began working on his lines with another young man named Matt Esker who had landed the part of Dr. Macphail, kind of the narrator of the story. The two actors had a lot in common; in that, they both belonged to the same religious denomination and had married young. Matt was also beginning to question a lot of things.
In his own way, Matt was as good looking as Tracy. He was tall and well-proportioned with eyes as blue as the sky, silky blond hair, and a scruffy beard to match. Many girls, and a few boys envied the wives of these two.
Another young man from a church somewhat similar to theirs, Clete Scarboro, was directing the production. He was a pleasant guy, but not as drop-dead gorgeous as the two male leads. It seemed like the three of them had a lot in common. However, it was Matt who was more intimately connected with Tracy because of the characters they were playing.
Adel felt a little better about Tracy's involvement in the play knowing that Matt was in it with him. She had become friends with Matt's wife, Esther, and she felt that the other couple would be a stabilizing force in Tracy's life. She had begun to notice a change in his demeanor, and it worried her. She felt like he was pulling away from his faith and possibly from her.
The two young women thought perhaps they could help their husbands rehearse by reading the female parts in the script. Although neither would feel comfortable speaking some of the lines Miss Thompson did, being together might benefit them all.
However, the inclusion of the wives never materialized. It seemed that Matt felt their presence would be a distraction rather than an aid. Instead of rehearsing at either apartment, he found a private room on the upper floor of the fine arts building where the two budding thespians could work without being disturbed.
It was a kind of studio, with north-facing skylights, which was occasionally used when hosting a guest artist. Thus, it had a table and chairs, a small sofa, and a kind of kitchenette with a bar fridge and microwave. The adjoining restroom made it seem almost like an efficiency apartment. What better place to be shielded from interruptions?
Maugham's tale, originally a short story published in an American literary magazine, The Smart Set, was titled, Miss Thompson the name of the main character who is a woman of ill repute. It takes place on a Pacific island against the backdrop of almost constant precipitation, hence the title, Rain which it soon became known by. It is the unrelenting pulse of rainfall which seems to drive the missionary toward his downfall.
Eerily, almost as if it had been orchestrated, the spring weather in the South that year during the rehearsal time mirrored the theme of the play. Rain often pelted on the skylights of the room where the guys were going over their lines. That, along with changes in the barometric pressure, made them restless. They could empathize with the passions of the characters they were portraying.
One night while taking a break, Tracy stood at the counter preparing a snack for them when Matt came up behind him and put his arms around him. Rather than pushing Matt away, Tracy turned around and embraced him in return. Both were feeling horny due to the weather and the fact that it was "that time of the month" for their wives. Matt broke their embrace long enough to make sure the door was locked. Then, he switched off the light. In the pale illumination created by the streetlights, the two gradually stripped each other of their clothes and sprawled on the sofa. The snacks were forgotten in their hunger for one another. They explored and licked each other's body, moaning in lust.
Suddenly, Matt engulphed Tracy's throbbing cock in the warmth of his mouth and began to work his magic. Tracy was nearly catatonic in his lustful elation, running his hands through Matt's silky mane in a gesture of encouragement. It wasn't long before he expelled volumes of jizz. As he came down from his orgasmic high, he realized that he ought to reciprocate. He wasn't ready to give head, but he sensuously stroked Matt's stiffy until he too unloaded. Matt was so hot that he came almost immediately.
"God, I never knew sex could be this good," Tracy exclaimed. "Now I know what I've been missing."
"Yeah doing it with another guy is the best. Is this your first time?"
"It is. Man, if I'd have tried this years ago, I'd never have gotten married. No wonder the people in my church kept us from experimenting before we went to the altar. Their idea of sex is all about doing your duty and raising a family. Wow!"
Tracy's ecstasy rapidly became tainted with guilt on his way back to the apartment. Fortunately, it was late and Adel was already asleep when he slipped into bed beside her. Sleep evaded him for quite a while as he pondered what had happened. He had given in to temptation and it had been awesome. He was going to have to make changes in his life. Like Adam in the Garden of Eden, his eyes had been opened and he couldn't go back to how things had been. However, he might be able to break with the past and make a new beginning. He certainly wasn't going to become despondent, like his fictional character in Rain, and take his own life!
The play came off to rave reviews by the arts reporter of the local newspaper. The lead actors were applauded for their portrayal of Maugham's passion-filled story. Even those on the staff who disliked the plot felt the students had made it all feel real.
Tracy waited until after finals to break the news to Adel that he was filing for divorce. Although he didn't feel any desire for her, there was no sense in adding to her stress while she was engaged in wrapping up the semester. When he made the announcement, Adel pleaded with him to seek counseling in the church, but he said that the two of them were on divergent paths and that nothing could be done to change that. The reason he gave for splitting up was "irreconcilable differences." Instead of contesting it, Adel chose to go home to her parents and figure out where she wanted to go to school next year. She wouldn't be able to face their friends and acquaintances at the university again.
Most of the students, even those enrolling in summer school, left campus for a short break the minute the last exam was over. That included Matt and Esther.
For his part, Tracy stayed and moved into a tiny furnished apartment which was within easy walking distance of campus. He would be taking summer school to help lighten his load in the new terms so he could work more to pay for his schooling.
The first thing he did was to let Matt know they had a safe place for sharing their mutual passion. After the play, they had met a couple of times in the woods near town where men sometimes cruised. They had been careful to avoid it at times when others from the campus would be likely to discover them. Of course, that might be impossible, but they thought they'd been successful in covering their tracks.
When Matt came over to Tracy's new place before summer school started, he seemed distant. Tracy put his arms around him like he had done to Tracy that first night in the fine arts building. Matt pulled away.
"Esther told me about your breakup. Why didn't you tell me about your plans?"
"I wanted it to be a surprise," Tracy said. "I figured you'd be happy that we can continue getting together without being caught."
"What reason did you give Adel for divorcing her?"
"Irreconcilable differences."
"You didn't say anything about preferring other men, did you?"
"No."
"Good," Matt heaved a prolonged sigh. "I don't want to be found guilty by association. I think it would be better if we didn't hang around together. I'm not going to mess up my marriage for you!"
"Damn it! I'm getting divorced so we can be together."
"I guess that wasn't a smart move on your part, was it? I have no intention of leaving Esther. She's an only child and her parents are rich as Midas. Do you think I'd throw that all away for a cheap thrill?
"Look, what we had was fun. You've become really good in bed. But what we had was sex, not everlasting love. I'm not sure there is such a thing anyway. Please stay out of my life and I'll stay out of yours!"
With that, Matt walked out. Tracy sat down on the sofa and cried.
Following that encounter, Tracy really threw himself into his studies and his parttime job. It was easier than having the leisure to think about his problems. He was brokenhearted, but he didn't want to show it. Doubtless, some of his friends assumed he was depressed over losing his wife. Of course, they didn't know that the split had been his doing.
His parents had reacted to the news in a somewhat different way from each other. Janine had been devastated. His father less so. Frank had been a late convert to the church, and truth be told, had far less investment in it. His major reason for joining had been his love for Janine who would never have become his wife had he not. While Frank had loved his daughter-in-law, he'd felt the two were too young to settle down. He had sown a few wild oats and felt his son probably should have too. Of course, he would never have assumed those activities would involve another male.
As a result, of Tracy's diligence, his grade point rose over the summer. When fall term began, he felt like he'd recovered from his unhappy tryst and was ready to face his senior year with renewed energy. He did experience a twinge of sadness when he spotted Matt across the quadrangle on his way to his first class of the new term. The feeling evaporated as Clete caught up with him as he entered Ward Hall.
"Hey, Tracy, you got Business Ethics with Berkland too?"
"Yup. We probably have others together too, given that our major's the same."
"That'll be cool. Maybe we can study together."
"I'd like that. I seem to have lost a few friends over my divorce."
"You haven't lost me. Are you doing anything on Friday night?"
"Nope. I thought about having a couple of beers since I've left the church, but I hate to have to cross the border to go to a bar. I hear some of those places are as redneck as they were in my father's day."
"True, and then there are the cops waiting to stop you and use the breathalyzer when you come back into town. It sucks living in a dry county! Of course, that didn't bother me when I was a teetotaler."
"Same here. We've come a long way since we were freshmen," Tracy nodded.
"Maybe we could get together at your place or mine. I'll buy the beer if you make the snacks," Clete suggested.
"Sounds like a plan. Why don't you come to my apartment since I don't have a roommate. How do buffalo chicken wings sound? I have a good recipe."
"Great! Maybe we can relive the glory of our theater experience," Clete said.
The week passed fairly rapidly. Homework wasn't excessively heavy in the beginning of the term, so the guys weren't swamped when Friday came. Clete arrived at Tracy's door about 7:30 PM, according to the plans they'd made. The first thing he noticed was the savory aroma of the chicken wings his host was preparing.
"Wow! I should have skipped supper. If those taste anywhere near as good as they smell, I'll be in hog heaven."
"You can have some soon if you want. They're almost ready."
"Nah, I can wait."
"That's a good idea since they'll be better if they soak up the sauce for a while longer."
The guys watched TV for half an hour to catch up on a show they both liked. When it was over, Tracy turned the set off, served the wings and they talked a bit about how their new term was going. Eventually, Clete turned to the subject he'd wanted to discuss for some time. It took him a couple of more beers to work up the courage.
"I take it that Matt has kind of disappeared from your life since Rain ended."
"Yeah, really it's more since I separated from Adel. Suddenly, I'm a persona non grata. He's afraid there will be rumors if we're seen together."
"I know what you mean. He dropped me without warning once he started rehearsing with you."
"Um, I'm not sure what you're hinting at," Tracy blushed.
"I'll be straight with you. Oops, that didn't come out right. Freudian slip, I guess. What I mean is, I saw you two in the woods once last spring and you weren't picking May flowers. I didn't intend to spy on you. I just wanted to know what he was up to after he canceled our, um, tryst that day. So, I followed his car at a distance. Once I saw who he was with, I knew I didn't stand a chance. You're way out of my league in looks."
"Oh wow. He was hitting on you at the same time he was hitting on me?"
"Yup. I honestly thought he and I might have a future together. I was blindsided when I saw you together – two of the beautiful people. I never told him what I knew, and he simply dropped me without any explanation."
"I can empathize with you about your relationship with Matt. I ended my marriage, partially for him. I realized it wasn't going to last, but I might have stayed with Adel longer. When I informed him that I was free, Matt told me in no uncertain terms that he wasn't going to risk his marriage for me. She's rich, I guess."
"I guess I should be going. I'm sorry that I've brought up a painful reminder. I'd better go before that last brew hits me," Clete mumbled.
"Why don't you stay here tonight?"
"Um, I don't think I should bunk with you. I mean, I find you attractive, but I'm..."
"Hey, I wasn't suggesting we sleep together. There's only one bedroom, but it has twin beds. It wouldn't be any different than sharing a dorm room. You know the Calloway County cops are out in force on Friday nights."
"That's really considerate of you, especially after I mentioned the stuff about Matt. I'll stay if you're sure it's okay."
"I'm sure. Matt is part of the past, and I'm heading into the future.
That Friday in early September was the beginning of a new pattern in their lives. A week later, they got together for a movie night with popcorn and with only one beer each, sticking mostly to water for their beverage.
They cooked a fine dinner between them on Saturday, and Clete stayed over that night as well. From then on, it became their habit to do things together on weekends.
Author's notes: Thanks for reading this story. If you enjoyed it, please feel free to contact me a dlee169@hotmail.com and let me know. Your emails are the only reward I receive for writing. Please put the story title in the subject line in case your email goes into the spam folder.
I received emails from several readers about my last short story, Room 304 Burge Hall. Thanks: Tony C, Si R, Andy R, Wayne M, Mendy D, Geoff (1), Tim T, Paul R, Ken McC, Frank K, Brad W, Jim W, Rod R, Allen, Jay P, Paul F, Ryan O, Vincent C, Peter S, Bill S, and Justin T. I appreciate you!
Thanks to David S for editing. He finds typos and missing words! He also makes valuable suggestions.
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Thanks, David
P.S. I have a chronological list of all my posted stories which I can email to you if you have an interest.