Tom the Fireman Part 19
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Tom drove his sister to the train station so she could take the train into the city. He dropped her off and hugged her goodbye and watched her walk toward the station. He was glad she was going to spend time with Bev and Tonya and get some time away from his mother.
When she arrived, Bev was at the terminal to greet her, they hugged and Bev asked if she was hungry.
Melinda replied she was famished, as she rubbed her belly saying she is eating for two. Bev asked if she knew the sex and Melinda said they will find out when they return. They walked arm in arm towards the taxi stand. Bev opened the door for her and she gave the driver the address of her favorite dinners in the city. Melinda stated she missed living in the country and this is a perk since she is in Florida. When the taxi stopped, Bev paid the far and led the way to the restaurant.
The host recognized Bev immediately and without a word, she sat them in a booth. Since the occurrence of the previous night Melinda wanted to ask Bev questions. Bev sensed there was something on her mind, she reached across the table took her hands and looked into Melinda's eyes and asked what was troubling her.
Melinda smiled, saying she didn't get much sleep last night, she mentioned that Steven just stared out the window when her brother left for a fire. Mom didn't help with the matters, as she used to do the same thing when dad or Tom were at fires. Melinda didn't think it was normal for Steven to react that way.
Bev looked concerned and wanted to broach the subject delicately. She understood what Steven was going through, as she first handedly encountered his behavior before, but at a much worse scale. She stated, "What I'm going to tell you is in confident. I know I can trust you with this information."
Bev explained, "I introduced my ex-husband to one of her good friends. His name was Barron, this was right after we divorced. I knew I had to get Steven out and seeing people and I kind of thought he was gay. I knew he experimented in college, but he said it was curiosity more than anything. Though we had a great relationship and are best friends to this day, since I can't conceive, I decided that it's better that we weren't married. I didn't always want to hear the question, `When are you having children?' "
"Barron and Steven hit off very well, Barron thought Steven might be gay and one night put the moves on him. Barron was Steven's life, it was the three of us at most social events, and I couldn't say none of us couldn't have been happier. Barron brought out the side of Steven that he tried to suppress. They both fell hard for each other, I don't think either of them expected it. Eventually Barron moved into Steven's place. I swear the two never fought, they knew exactly what the other was thinking. It was like they were meant to be together. When gay marriage was started to gain ground, they got married as soon as they could in this state."
"They had the ideal life, they travelled a lot, they had great dinner parties, I was so happy for both of them. They were two peas in a pod and they were inseparable. That all came shattering down one day, when Steven was waiting for him to arrive home from work. Steven was excited that he found a surrogate to bear their child. They had a plan to both donate, mix it together, and that way they both were the father. Steven had waited several hours and Barron never came home from work. He sat by the window excitedly looking out, wanted to tell him the new when he noticed me coming to the door."
"When he opened the door, I saw he was upset. He told me Barron hasn't come home and he hadn't heard from him. I asked him if he wanted me to stay, to tell him the news and return later. He asked me to stay. I made him tea and we sat down at the table talking about him being a parent. I was sad, I wasn't the person to be able to bring his child into his life, but I was also happy for him, because Steven wanted children. Barron as a matter of fact, wanted children too."
"The phone rang, and Steven didn't recognize the number, he asked if I would answer it. I did, and the hospital was on the other line, telling me about an accident. I don't remember much of the conversation, I know I dropped the phone and Steven saw the look on my face. I recall it all in slow motion, I heard something about next of kin and dead. Steven slowly rose from his seat, and dashed for the phone. He acknowledge who he was, and all he started to do was cry and pound his fists on the walls".
"He bellowed out, no. No. No. This is a sick joke, Barron's not dead."
Bev wiped the tears from her eyes as she was trying to explain this part of the story.
"Steven's world ended at that exact moment or should I say his life went on hold, I became his caregiver at that very moment. He couldn't function. He was there for all the arrangements, but I had to make the decisions, it always deferred it for me. He was in shock, and I knew if I didn't tend to him, he would be gone as well."
"I had to physically shower him and take him to the funeral. You thought he was on something because he couldn't function. He didn't eat, he didn't shower, and he didn't care. Eventually I was getting exhausted, and I had to work, his parents helped as much as they could. They no longer saw their son, it was a shell of a once healthy man that existed. We tried to take him to doctors, but he just wasn't cooperating."
"We didn't want to put him in a home, we figured he needed to be around those he trusted, he would be gone if we did that. I think at one time or another, Steven's parents and I ended up in the hospital from exhaustion. His mother was very fragile and she was in and out of the hospital several times. His friends tried to help, they would even take him to their place for the weekend, just to get a change of scenery and give us relief."
"When I got home from my short stay from exhaustion, Steven's mother had removed all pictures of Barron from the house. She even went in and removed Barron's clothing, while his father had him out for a walk or visiting a doctor. It took many trips, but eventually she removed the memories of Barron from the house."
"Steven even in his, what shall I call it, his non-living state, was upset at first, and even locked his parents out of the house. I was the one who eventually talked him into letting them come back."
"Over the years this continued, we supported each other hoping we would get through this one day. His mother was starting to see some change in him. One night he washed dishes for the first time in two years. She cried and called me, she said was so over joyed to see him take responsibility even for such a small thing."
"She admitted she did check the dishes and rewashed most, but at least he made an attempt at something. Steven's father was tending the business with his brother. Steven was in the process of taking it over and was running a successful business. His father was exhausted, but didn't want to see the business Steven put all his energy into go to the wayside."
"One day, Steven stood at the top of the stairs, he still had the vacant look in his eye, but he was naked and carrying his own clothing. He looked at me and said, "Wash."
"I helped him down the steps and went with him to the laundry room, more like me guiding him by the arm. He opened the washer and put his clothes in it. That's as far as it got, before he returned to his `catatonic" self."
"If we ever mentioned the word `Barron' he would slip back in his progress. Eventually his mother and I got power of attorney for him. We watched as he improved little by little each week. Some weeks not as well as others, and once or twice he did slide back. We had to help him bathe, change his clothes, feed him."
"We never brought up Barron, unless he mentioned him. One day, he looked at me, and said, `he's not coming back is he?'"
"I looked at him, and told him no, he's not. He looked at me with tears in his eyes, saying `I've been waiting for him.'"
"I know honey, I know."
"That's when Steven broke down and cried and said he misses him so much, the pain is just so intense."
"I encouraged him it's time to let go."
"He looked at me asking if it's OK."
"I told him it's OK, people need you here, honey."
"But I want to be with him."
"Honey, it's been too long, you know he would want that."
"You think so?"
"Yes I think so, and I know deep inside you know so. I'm sure he found someone for you, he'll guide you to him."
"That's the day he looked at himself in the mirror and really saw what he looked like. He looked back at me and asked what happened. It seemed like the old Steven I knew was coming back to life. He got undress and walked to the shower. This is the first time he bathe by himself. I heard clippers buzz and when I went in to check on him, he was removing his beard. I kept an eye on him, and he asked where the razor were. I had to hunt around, as we removed them."
"When he got out of the bathroom, he got dressed by himself. He selected the new clothes we bought him, and then turned and asked if he could go to the barber. For the first time, he cared what he looked like."
"I drove him to the barber. I took him to a new one, as I didn't want to chance anyone bringing up Barron's name. He walked in and asked for a haircut and a shave. The receptionist said it would be a few minutes. He looked better than he did in years, but to the everyday person, he looked homeless. I quickly let receptionist know I was paying for it."
"A good looking young guy came up and asked him what he needed. Steven actually looked at him with some interest"
"Steven said he need a haircut, and he pointed to a picture of a haircut he liked, and he mentioned he needed a shave that he didn't have any razors at home."
"The barber looked at me, and I smiled. Steven followed the barber back and I sat and waited."
I was happy and preoccupied with thoughts of things returning to normal, I had tears in my eyes and was startled when I realized someone was standing in front of me and I didn't recognize the new Steven. I hadn't seen that look in years. The tears were flowing freely at his point, see the old Steven standing before me. He was clean shaven and his hair was short and it shined."
"The barber joked about the new look, he saw me crying and I thanked him. I tipped him generously for he didn't know the miracle he just performed, but it meant the world to me. "
"The receptionist asked if I was alright, I said these are tears of joy, you don't understand the importance of the miracle you just created."
"On the way to the car, he asked if I was hungry. We went to a different diner, where I thought we wouldn't know anyone. He actually ordered a meal, and ate most of it. At moments I was seeing the old Steven, but then the look in his eyes would return for a while. But that was the breakthrough day, and that's when Steven came out of the stupor."
"When we returned home, Fred and Wayne stopped over to see if I needed anything. They were a great help. They were surprised when Steven opened the door, recognized them, gave them a hug and asked how they been. I stood behind Steven with tears in my eyes, Wayne was hugging Steven, and looked in my direction and was crying too, Fred was getting emotional and quickly wrapped his arms around Steven and said welcome back."
"We all had tears of joy, but we didn't reach the end of the road. He would sometimes go back to how he was for a few days with the mention of Barron. But as time went on, those bouts got shorter and shorter. He finally returned to work, acting like nothing was wrong. His father, kept an eye on things, but left Steven work. A few times, he would get exhausted, and head home."
"Even in those long few years, he knew what was going on in the world. He acted like nothing ever happened to him."
"It was about two years ago, when we finally left him on his own. We would check up on him, and he was doing well. He was back to shopping, making his dinners and keeping a tidy house. He mentioned he thought it would be better if he moved away from here, as there were too many memories."
"Things that made him remember Barron he removed from the house. Things were disappearing, things that he liked but had a memory of Barron, it was gone."
"When questioned, he just said he was tired of it. I never asked where it went. I was content just to see him living again."
"Steven actually hasn't returned since he moved out. I still keep an eye on the house, and a lot of belongs that Barron and he bought are still there. It's like he walked away from it, guess seeing all the things that reminded him of Barron had negative effects on him. It was easier to get another house then try to sort through all the memories."
"During those years, he went to estate sales and bought furniture, and put it in storage. I would go along and would ask my opinion. I knew one day, he would no longer be in this house."
"This spring he started looking for another house. On his first trip back, he mentioned he saw this guy. He was smiling and said how he donated $300.00 to a local fire company. I was a little miffed at first, as he didn't have concept of money. He returned several times to the area, but didn't see the guy until a month later. It took most of spring and early part of summer to finally get a date with this guy. I hadn't seen this attraction since Barron. He would go out on dates, and always seemed to come home disappointed. But this time it was different."
"The first time I met your brother, I just knew what Steven saw in him. I had the intuition that he might be the one. His last date with another guy was a week before he actually went out with Tom, it was such a disaster."
"Even though I don't believe it, and I will only say it you, I think Barron made a great choice."
Melinda cleared the tears from her eyes. She understood Steven a lot better. She understood Steven thinks he's not going to see Tom again when he leaves. She hopes that this too will get better as time goes on. Melinda thanked her and then asked about Tonya.
Bev beamed with a smile, saying, "She is doing great. Tonya is upbeat, and she even asked if I would adopt her child, as she reminds me it would be in good hands. I let Tonya know she could live in the city after the baby if she would like. I feel she like a daughter to me."
Melinda asked if she planned to, and Bev said, "That's up to Steven and Tom as well as Heather."
Melinda rolled her eyes at the mention of her name.
Melinda looked at her, and said, "Could you believe we were best of friends in high school? I must have been really insecure at that time of my life, as I didn't realize how I would cater to her. I knew Tom was gay, and she kept insisting she was going to straighten him out. She got him drunk one night after a big game, and forced herself on him. I don't think he knew what was going on, but she ends up pregnant. "
Dad told him,"If she's good enough to fuck, she's good enough to marry."
She continued on, "Tom did the honorable thing according the family and married her after graduation. At this point Heather and I had fallen out, I realized what she did and knew it was going to be a mistake. So did others who knew about Tom. His boyfriends didn't like it all. But she wanted the captain of the Basketball team, it didn't matter who it was, it was her goal to land that guy. That guy was my brother."
"A big fancy wedding that was excessive, what her family spent could have bought them a house. But they struggled to live in a small apartment. Life didn't turn out like she thought it would, Tom didn't go to college because he had a family to support. He had a basketball scholarship, just saying."
"They were about to separate when she got pregnant with Tonya, Tonya and Mason are barely a year apart. Tom struggled to raise the family. He had a business, which dad and brothers helped. It was a relief when he landed one of the full time positions for the fire company. He quickly was promoted to Fire Inspector. I'm sure dad and his father-in-law pulled some strings. "
"About a year after Tonya was born, Heather left him. She took the two children and moved in with her boyfriends. She wanted Tom to support her and the two children. Tom was willing to support his two children, as they were the loves of his life. He even raised them by himself a few years, because she had to go find herself and disappeared."
"She was actually pregnant with some random guy she hookup with on the internet, her boyfriend realized it wasn't his and kicked her out. I guess the father was passing through and she never got his true name. Mason and Tonya have another sister that they don't know about. I see her other daughter as my best friend adopted her. After that child, I heard she aborted the rest."
"Tom was a real heart breaker at this point, he would go on dates and if the guy showed any effeminate signs he would dump them immediately. I thought he met some potentials, but he seemed to have an excuse and soon was dating someone else."
"Then he met this guy who was going to police academy in the next state over. Tom fell for him hard, they lived together, but over time, Tom confided in me, about their sex life. He said Ricky was getting into stuff he didn't like. The sex was getting less and less and often included more people than just him, and one day Ricky announced he was moving out and moving in with his old police academy instructor, who just retired. This hurt Tom a lot as he thought he could work out the differences with this guy. Tom ended with the broken heart and he didn't like it."
"Ricky was eventually replaced with a younger version of himself, when he got too old. Ricky wanted Tom back, but Tom wanted nothing to do with him. He later told me how Ricky became a sleaze ball, works in some private sex club or something. Guess he has a partner who is part of the entertainment at the club."
"Tom continued to date, he had a few short term relationship, but if it got in the way of Mason and Tonya, they would soon end. Tom was in a relationship till about two years ago, when the guy up and moved away, expecting Tom to follow, but he wasn't going to leave his kids behind. He knew they needed some stability in their life and he wasn't going to abandon them."
"Tom confided in me, that he thought he finally found the one. He paid for our tickets to come up and meet him. He told us we would love him. When we met Steven at first, mom was preoccupied with going to dad's grave, I'm sure she didn't make a good first impression, and I was embarrassed for her. But I think last night, she had the bonding moment she was hoping for. We both commented on how we see a difference in Tom. He's content and looks like he's in love again."
After the lunch, Bev and Melinda walked back to her place in the city. When they arrived home, Tonya was happy to see her aunt. Melinda rubbed her tummy saying how beautiful she looked and hugged her. Tonya was excited to see her and was waiting to talk with her and they went into the parlor and Bev left the two alone.
Bev walked into her kitchen, as the water boiled for her tea she smelled a familiar scent, she felt a touch on her shoulder. She turned around but didn't see anyone. A beard tickled her ear, saying everything is fine.
She knew the voice, and put her hand on her shoulder, she whispered, "You're right."
Suddenly she realized she was alone. She went to the cupboard and got out his favorite tea, place in her cup and poured the boiling water over it. She put another tea bag in another cup and poured the remaining water in the cup. She sat them at the table and sipped her tea, and said. "Thank you."