Tom Brownings Schooldays

Tom Browning's Schooldays

By

Joel

Chapter FiftySix

All went well. It was dark as we approached the good road to the George in Bedford High Street. Although it had been a long day cooped in the confines of the coach with just two stops for refreshment and a piss we boys had been most convivial companions. We had packs of cards and a set of chess men which James had brought. He spent much time teaching Freddy moves as Freddy had not experienced the game before. After luncheon at a small country inn we were more than replete and quite comatose but listened with great attention as we continued our journey with James reciting from memory the story he had already prepared of 'The Boy with the Hare'. It was quite enthralling as he recounted the finding of the baby leveret abandoned after dogs had chased the parents away. As the leveret grew so he and the boy became inseparable and had many adventures together from finding a valuable lost ring to discovering where an escaped prisoner was hiding. James said he had other chapters to complete and Philip said he had ideas for drawings from what he had been told.

The George was a recommended coaching inn and most comfortable. There was much merriment at the evening meal as both Freddy and Philip were toasted liberally on the occasion of their joint birthdays. Robin, Cedric and I shared a bed in one room with Freddy and the two smaller Goodhew boys in another of the rooms. Replete once more after that substantial supper we slept well and were ready in the morning hoping we might complete the journey that day as we set off well before eight o'clock. We were sorry we could not explore Bedford as James reminded us that John Bunyan had written 'The Pilgrim's Progress' when in Bedford Gaol.

We fairly rattled along the old Roman Road to St Albans and made good time all morning. Father decreed just a change of horses for the coaches at the Peahen and a quick bite would suffice, though a hamper was loaded on each coach to keep hunger at bay for the rest of the day. There were few travellers on the main road from St Albans so we easily got to Barnet where a decision had to be made whether to continue to London or spend another night at an inn. As the road seemed quite clear and there were plenty of lanterns and flares marking the way we continued and arrived in triumph at the Wright house somewhat past ten o'clock in the evening. Our arrival had been heralded by a galloping rider who was outside the post-house in Barnet and had been collecting documents to deliver to a lawyer in Berkeley Square nearby to the Wright house in Charles Street. A shilling had bought his services and he was true to his word.

Everybody but the servants were abed but we were soon settled in rooms already prepared and the kitchen sent up soup and bread which would satisfy all until the morning. Cedric's parents and sisters were already in London but at a nearby house which had been rented for them. It was too late for him to go there so Robin and I kindly said he could bed with us but not to snore as he had done in Bedford. For this we both got a slap but we retaliated and had him squirming in his nightshirt for we tickled him until he called 'Pax'. Freddy insisted he would share with Philip and James again so that was settled. Jabez was most excited to see us and Mehmet, who was assigned to the youngsters, was asked by Cedric if a massage could be arranged.

Although most of our six had dozed on the latter part of the journey the three of us were soon asleep with no wanton desires or actions. In fact, when I woke in the morning, I realised that my now unruly prong had not had its usual exercise from the time we had left Careby Hall. Both Robin and Cedric were still fast asleep so I went quietly into the closet and released my pent-up juices after a much-needed piss. It was not a moment too soon as I then sat and heard a rap on the bedroom door announcing the arrival of Jabez and, I assumed, the Bartoli boys with pitchers of hot water. There were grunts and grumbles as Robin and Cedric woke and the closet door was soon rattled as two more piss-heavy creatures demanded admittance. First they complained about the smell I had made and, secondly, Robin remarked that I was not to use all the hot water even though all the basins would not be enough to sweeten me. However I ignored that as I strode out and they were soon most companionable standing side by side with uplifted nightshirts and letting loose.

Jabez was alone now, the others being busy collecting pitchers for the other guests. I hugged him tight renewing our great friendship. He whispered that he had much to tell me and then smiled and said "Our Robin has grown and he is even more like you than a year ago." I hugged him again and we parted just as Robin appeared dropping down the fold of his nightshirt. There were more hugs and a great smile on Jabez's face as Robin said he had spoken to Mrs Bottom after the service on Sunday and she sent her love to her son. He had to explain there was no letter as Timmy was in Cambridge and Mrs Bottom would have asked him to pen a few lines for her.

Branscombe had also finished his piss but was now easing himself in the confines of the closet. We decided we would wash and stripped and shared two bowls of water soaping and cleaning each other before receiving the warm towels from our attentive Jabez. All this was accomplished in silence and knowing looks at the closed door of the water closet. Jabez knew exactly what Branscombe was engaged in other than the emptying of his bowels. As he dried us he made most suggestive movements of his hands. I, having relieved that particular urge, did not respond but Robin was 'as stiff as a poker' as Jabez whispered in comment.

We began to dress in the clothes we had travelled in as our chests had not been brought up yet. We were disturbed by noises outside and another rapping on the door. Not too late, our chests were brought in by two of the older Bartoli boys and two of the stable- lads. They bowed and left so we unstrapped the fastenings and retrieved clean shirts, stockings and underclouts, stripped and began again to dress. Branscombe had finished his 'worship of Priapus' as I had heard the elder Lawson say to Preston one day about some other fellow pupil when he did not realise I was near enough to overhear. I had shared that little phrase with Robin who had been much amused especially as the pupil traduced was Maitland his other fag-master.

"I hope there is a modicum of hot water for me," Branscombe said slipping his nightshirt off over his head. We made no response but three pairs of eyes fixed on the swinging cods and the silver ring now on view. I winked at Jabez as Branscombe bent over to unstrap his chest.

"Sir, there is a good amount," said Jabez. "If you will allow me I will soap your back as my two young gentlemen are now almost dressed." That was another good phrase and I smiled to myself as Cedric's 'young gentleman' also swung as he straightened himself.

"That would be most pleasant and if your friend was able to give me a massage at some time I would be most obliged," he said.

Jabez said that no doubt something could be arranged but he had more to impart. "Sir, I am informed that Captain and Mrs Branscombe are in residence just four houses along this street. I will conduct you there after breakfast and arrange for your chest and other things to be delivered as well."

"In this street?" Cedric said with a smile, "That is most convenient."

"Yes, sir, the lease fell most recently and as it was ready furnished to a high order and is now staffed fully with most competent servants her Ladyship contacted Mrs Branscombe and it has been taken short term until the end of the Season."

Branscombe laughed. "That will please Mama and my sisters. Balls, concerts and much shopping I would say."

Jabez set to and Branscombe was soon clean and sweet. Yes, most sweet as we were, too, for the soap was fragrantly scented with sandalwood as Jabez told us.

We decided we had better take charge of the three youngsters so, led by Jabez, we went along to their room. They were also up, dressed and complaining they were all starving with Freddy as their spokesman. Mehmet was laughing with them and was already a favourite servant.

James was quietly thrilled by all he had experienced so far. I was his confidante as we made our way downstairs to the breakfast room. "I have seen those gaslights in Stamford before but to have them in the rooms here is wonderful." He laughed. "When will we have them in Careby? I think Dr Lancelot will have to make plans with my father and Philip."

I said I had heard the gas was most costly not only to prepare but to be carried to each house and shop by pipes underground. Uncle Digby had said he had shares in a gas company so money must be found for such enterprises as much as for the railway companies.

It was little after half seven when we entered the breakfast room but there was already an array of hot dishes and one of the Bartoli boys, Paolo, was there ready to serve us, with Jabez and Mehmet assisting. Surely boys cannot starve after so few hours without food! Plates were laden and emptied and more was added and consumed. I would not say we were gluttonous but I knew I felt more than satisfied. Both Mr Topping and Mr Pembridge had looked in to see we were being satisfactorily attended to. Mr Topping had tarried and said to me he had a message from my Uncle Digby. He wished to see us all in his study but not before eight o'clock as my father was with him and partaking of breakfast.

It was some ten minutes after eight o'clock that the last mouthfuls of fine sausage, bacon or fried egg had been washed down by a new and different tea and we were ready to see my Uncle Digby. Only Branscombe and I were known to him so the other four, my Robin, Freddy, Philip and James would have to be formally introduced. That is, not only to him but to Curly!

My father had already left my Uncle Digby or so Mr Topping said as he led us to the study. Father was apparently intent on riding as far as St Paul's Cathedral to see the state of the roads and the route we would take on Saturday. He was being guided by Gregson who would be on the box of the Wright's coach with their head coachman, Mr Churcher.

Uncle Digby looked each of us over as I bowed my head in greeting and the others filed in behind me. Of course, Branscombe was already known so got a straightforward welcoming smile. However I had to introduce each of the others in turn and I purposely left Robin to last. Each of those new to his acquaintance was enthusiastically shaken by the hand and then commanded to 'take a pew'. My uncle then grinned as we sat on chairs in a semi- circle around him. "I am sorry I cannot rise without assistance to greet you properly. However I bid you all welcome and hope your stay will be most enjoyable. I must admit I have had intelligence of you all...," He nodded towards Freddy. "...Even you, young sir. You will have opportunity to play the pianoforte here. Lady Fanny and my daughter Rosamund will see you later after any other plans for the day are made." Freddy said nothing but smiled, whether at the prospect of playing or making plans I was not sure. Uncle Digby looked at the two younger Goodhew boys. "Philip and James. The artist and the author, I hear." Both boys looked very solemn at this. Philip took the lead and stood.

"Sir, I must thank you for the wonderful books you sent to me. I wish to visit all those places in Italy so I can see and draw what I have seen depicted." He put his hand into the inside of his jacket and took out a roll of paper. "Sir, I would be most grateful if you would accept this. It is but a copy but the building is most fine." He unrolled the page and held it towards Uncle Digby who beckoned him closer.

"My boy, that is most fine, too. I have seen that villa outside Venice. Do you know who designed it?"

"Yes, sir, it was a man named Palladio. My father says he was a stone mason as he is, but he became a great architect."

I could see my uncle was most impressed. I had also noted that Philip was directly in line with Curly standing on his plinth and had been glancing at him, or it!

"We must spend time so I can tell you of buildings here which were made on his principles," my uncle said.

Philip nodded. "My father said that Mr Jones and Sir Christopher Wren used his ideas for buildings in London."

Uncle Digby laughed. "Master Philip, you are ahead of me, but there is much to discuss."

"Yes, sir, and I would wish to see more splendid statues such as that." He nodded towards Curly.

"You will do that as well." He nodded emphatically. "We will make sure your wishes are granted." He then indicated that Philip should display the drawing for us to see. It showed the front of a most grand house and was drawn with both delicacy and exactness of line. It may have been a copy from a book but Philip's own hand was clear in it.

James was the last to receive the drawing. He smiled at his brother and carefully rolled it up and held it close to him. It was now Robin's turn. My uncle put his hands together and held them up as in a gesture of triumph. His smile was so broad.

"What can I say, Master Robin? You have come true. I will not embarrass you with praise but there is nothing you cannot attain I am sure."

Robin now stood. "Sir, whatever I have achieved, or may achieve, can only be due to the loving care I have had from my two families." He turned to Philip and James. "My brothers and I are so fortunate to share such bounty." I was sitting just behind him. He bent down and took my hand. "I could not be as I am without Tom..." He looked at Branscombe who was obviously enjoying every moment of the encounters with my uncle. "...and my future Uncle Cedric!"

Branscombe's smile disappeared, then he guffawed. "There are things uncles can do to unruly nephews," he said amid laughter from all of us. He shook his head. "I forgive you as you have proved yourself so much more competent in learning than I am and I have been so grateful for your aid."

Robin smiled. "Et debeo tibi pro beneficio tuo," he said and I kicked his ankle for showing his proficiency. He might be grateful, too, but ought not to express it in Latin. [I am indebted to you for your kindness.]

Uncle Digby and Philip laughed. "Verisimile dicis" my uncle observed. [Truly said?] He looked up at Branscombe who looked a little annoyed, as I would have been. "I hope that will not sour any relationship. I can assure your nephew-to-be was being most complimentary. He would have been as perplexed if you had sent him a signal by semaphore I am certain."

Cedric laughed then. "I can assure you, sir, he will receive messages delivered by drumbeats as my father has described he heard in Africa when he was travelling up-country."

Freddy had been listening intently as usual. "Please, Master Branscombe, do not beat Master Robin as what he said was true, just as Sir Digby said." Branscombe leaned toward him and patted his leg.

Uncle Digby looked at Freddy quizzically. "You knew what was said?"

Freddy nodded. "Yes, sir, I do enjoy my studies and Mr Pretyman has given Coulson and me extra lessons and he speaks only in Latin then and we try to reply."

"My boy," Uncle Digby said, "You must continue on that path." He looked at Branscombe who was smiling now. "We must see you safely to your new abode. I understand our worthy Jabez will be conducting you there. Once installed we would welcome you back whenever the opportunity occurs." He looked round at the rest of us. "We were not expecting you all until today so plans must be made for your entertainment. I would suggest a drive to see the sights. There is a carriage which can be ready within the hour so Mr Topping informs me. My faithful Jacobson will drive you and take you where you wish." Uncle Digby looked at me and raised his eyebrows. "Have you brought the garrulous boy with you?" I knew he meant Natty. I just wondered at Uncle's knowledge of such seemingly unimportant things. But, again, the little things...

"Yes, uncle, Natty is with us. He has been most faithful as our groom at Ashbourne, too," I added.

It was all arranged. At ten o'clock, if Branscombe was allowed to return, then six boys would be driven around by Jacobson, with Natty also on the box. We had strict instructions we were not to stray from the carriage and to be back by midday for luncheon as other excursions or occupations would be decided upon for the afternoon.

As we filed out with me last in line I could not help noting there had been a change in furniture in the room. Where there had been an ordinary table in front of Curly in the window alcove there was now a larger table which seemed very strange in appearance. For one thing, if I was not mistaken, it was neither round nor square but had seven sides and had a fitted cloth over it which hung in low drapes. My uncle smiled for he must have seen my glances and nodded his head towards the table. "Something for later," he mouthed almost silently.

Jabez was waiting in the passageway as we emerged. He said that when Branscombe was ready he would escort him to the other house and arrangements had been made to transfer all his belongings there. As we went upstairs Branscombe held me back with the others hurrying to the rooms with Robin chatting to Jabez.

"Tom, would you accompany me to where I have to go?" he said. "If you are with me I can make my excuses easily so I can return and be with you all on the excursion." He shook his head. "My mother will want me to be at her beck and call otherwise and..." He stopped and looked at me as if pleading.

I was minded to remark on 'drumbeats' but he could not be denied. We might even have a display of his temper and colourful language if we were troubled again with troublesome cab-drivers. I said I would and as long as he did not tarry too long discussing hats and gowns for the wedding... I also stopped as he lunged at me to give me a dig in the ribs but I was ready and raced up the stairs in front of him.

Robin was alone in our room as we entered now laughing together. He did look a little woeful and he was most apologetic. He bowed his head and said he was sorry to have caused any embarrassment for him in front of my uncle. Branscombe was such a good fellow so he was grinning when he said Robin would have to watch his step when back at Ashbourne for it would be the start of the cricket season and cricket bats were better than drumsticks for beating a retreat on the bottoms of upstart fags.

When we were ready to go to the other house I was at the top of the stairs with Branscombe waiting as Jabez came hurrying along. He had been with Mehmet seeing the younger ones were making sure no stops for a piss were needed. That was the explanation he gave in a whisper and Cedric said I had to make sure my bladder was empty as well.

The house was truly just four doors along. It was very like Uncle Digby's in appearance at the front though Jabez said it did not have so many rooms. We went to a side entrance where we were readily admitted by a smartly dressed young footman and announced to the butler who was standing further back. We learned he was Mr Barrett and I could see he was most correct just as Mr Clements was at home. Jabez waited in the hallway as Cedric and I were escorted to the study where his father, Captain Branscombe, was sitting reading a newssheet.

Captain Branscombe was most effusive in his greetings, both to his son and to me. There was the usual eyeing up and down with the unspoken 'Look how much you have grown' implied as he studied his son. We were told that Mrs Branscombe was not yet downstairs as she and her daughters were planning their own expedition but to the shops. He shrugged his shoulders and said he was quite happy quietly reading. As his mother would be otherwise engaged Cedric was given permission to come with us but his father said there was talk of a visit to the tailor's later in the day. I left him then for his chest and bags would be appearing soon and he had to see the room assigned to him. One of the footmen would bring him back before ten o'clock.

Jabez collected me and we left by the side entrance. He winked at the young footman who let us out. I thought I recognised him. Of course, he was William, the foundling boy, who had been one of Uncle Digby's stable-lads but was now smartly arrayed in livery.

"Do you know which house that is?" Jabez asked as we came out of the mews passage.

I was puzzled. "Should I?" I responded.

"I told you about those women who were supposed to be able to speak to the dead. It was their house." he laughed. "They've gone! Good riddance to them!"

"But the Branscombes are there," I said, "Are they not afraid?"

Jabez sighed. "There's no such thing as spirits unless they comes out of a bottle marked Brandy!" he said flatly.

"What do you mean?" I asked perplexed.

"It was all a great hoax. Wait until your uncle tells you," he said with a laugh.

I remembered him saying about being hired as an extra servant. "And you were involved?" I asked frowning at him.

He nodded and we reached our own side entrance. I left my cap and cloak with Mr Pembridge who was in a side room busily polishing a silver salver. He said something quietly to Jabez who nodded.

"Your uncle wants to see you again," he said as we went along the corridor. Uncle Digby's study door was open and Jabez knocked. We were expected and were told to enter and to close the door.

Uncle Digby started by saying how amused and pleased he was with the earlier encounter with my companions. I asked how he was and he said he thought with the massages he was receiving his legs were strengthening but he hoped Lancelot had ideas about remedies for his chest. He said he had suffered with difficulty in getting his breath especially as the smoke in the air irritated his throat. I said I had not seen either Lancelot or Uncle Dodd since arriving last night. He told me Lancelot had left just a few moments ago with Mr Topping to go to the Apothecary's Hall as he wanted advice on something he had invented. I didn't find out where Uncle Dodd or Rass were as Uncle Digby had other things to impart.

"I saw you looking at that table earlier," he said nodding towards it. "Do you know where it came from and what it is for?" I walked over to it. It looked most sturdy. I said it was strange as I had counted the sides again and there were seven and I had no idea of its provenance. "Seven is, of course, a magical number, is it not?" I replied that I knew it was an old belief for Sir Isaac Newton had named seven colours in the spectrum. Uncle Digby grinned and nodded. "Now, let Jabez tell you about it for he was one who helped to solve the mystery."

Jabez came over and went into the window alcove. "The table came from that house along the street," he said. "It is very craftily made and most useful for those women and their deceit." I stared at it even more intently for he waved his right hand and a bell tinkled. He waved his left hand and a chime of some kind sounded. I was puzzled. Then I remembered he had said that the servants were frightened about strange noises and happenings when people came for the seances. I had even remembered that name for the happenings. "I told you just now what was going on in that house was a great hoax. Here, Master Tom, put your hands flat on the table." As I did so Jabez closed his eyes and said in a sepulchral voice "Is there anybody there? One rap for no and two for yes." After a moment of silence there were two raps seemingly coming from the table just by where my hands were resting. I drew my hands back quickly.

"There is no need to be startled," a grinning Jabez said. He looked at my uncle. "Sir, may I show Master Tom the mechanisms?"

"Of course, and demonstrate what you did to reveal the hoax," Uncle Digby said with a wave of his hand.

"Come and stand here, Tom," Jabez said as he lifted the drape hanging from the side he was standing near. I saw that he was standing on a square of carpet which was quite thick and was resting on the fine floor-covering below but did not match it. "Watch," he commanded me and his right foot moved almost imperceptibly. I heard the bell tinkle and as his left foot moved in the same way so the chime sounded. His right heel came down twice and two raps were heard from where I had been standing. He moved his foot slightly and the raps came from another side of the table. He drew up a chair and sat and as his knees were under the table so a succession of raps, bangs, clangs and tings came not only from the table but elsewhere in the room. "It is all controlled by whomsoever sits here or over there." He indicated a side of the table three sides away from him. "There is a collection of rods and pulleys cleverly hidden and quite silent when in action."

I was most intrigued. I bent down and peered under the table. There was nothing in plain sight but I realised the carvings on the legs which protruded must be like organ stops and controlled other mechanisms.

"You discovered this?" I asked Jabez.

He looked at my uncle who nodded for him to continue.

"I should not have told you that I had been with Mr Purrett to apply for a position at that house but I told Sir Digby and he said you could be trusted." Jabez smiled and then wrinkled his nose as if in disbelief at my Uncle Digby's confidence in me. "We were taken on as footmen for the good reason we did not know what might be happening. Of course, as in all households the other servants soon told of their concerns." My uncle gave a knowing laugh at this and Jabez carried on. "The seances occurred three evenings in the week, Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays and we were the only servants other than a lady's maid allowed to escort the participants to the seance room." He paused to take breath and collect his thoughts. "We watched for one whole week and for two nights the second week. We knew there were two women..." I noted he did not say 'ladies'. "...involved. There was Madame Maurice who conducted the seances and Madame Dupont who was her assistant and was the one who apparently went into a trance and spoke from the dead." I must have shivered at this.

"Don't be alarmed, Tom," my uncle said reassuringly, "It is a good story and worthy of a shilling novel." I had no idea what he meant about the 'shilling novel' but it did sound rather exciting.

Jabez started again. "The room was always kept locked but Mr Purrett found a small spyhole which is in most houses for the butler to know when anything is needed." We both grinned at this as we knew of the back stairs in Careby Hall with the tiny peepholes and their covers.

My uncle could not contain himself and took over the telling. "Jabez, let me continue and you will get the praise!" Jabez smiled and bowed his head. "Mr Purrett was able to spy on the next evening's sitting as it was obvious the women did not know of the existence of that useful feature. The day after the next seance the pair and their maid went out shopping. There were strict instructions that no servants were to venture upstairs but Purrett used his expertise to open the locked door." He grinned but did not explain. "Our Jabez crawled under the table and was able to make all sorts of things happen. He also found that where Madame Dupont sat away from the table there was also a hidden pad and levers but she often stood and moved around the room. However, what was even more important was there were more concealed buttons and a pad by one of the other seats."

He indicated that I should raise the drape there. I did so and noted another thick pad. Uncle nodded and continued the tale. "It was Jabez who realised that a lady always took that seat even if there were four men and just two ladies attending the seance. They watched for the next three sittings and on the first evening a grieving widow sat there. On the second night it was a mother wanting news of a son lost overboard when sailing to Benares and on the third a daughter whose father had buried jewels and gold in case Bonaparte had invaded and had recently died almost penniless but without revealing the whereabouts of the fortune." My uncle held his hands together as if in supplication. "All three had good reasons to ask for favours of the departed." He nodded towards my friend. "However, Jabez noted several things. Each of the ladies who sat there was of a height and though all spoke with a different tone or accent and dressed quite differently in high fashion they all had covered their face with a similar veil. What he also noted was that on departing each always had the same coachman waiting and tossed the veil back on entering the coach. As a good servant Jabez was ready there at the kerb and had handed them up the steps. This gave him easy opportunity for closer examination and he found it strange that each lady had the same slight cast in her right eye!"

"They were all the same woman!" I said rather brightly then regretted my rather naive way of stating the obvious. My uncle and Jabez both laughed and Uncle Digby clapped his hands.

"You are so correct and plans had to be made." He looked at Jabez who as well as smiling was looking upwards towards the ceiling. "While the two and their maid were out the next afternoon the door was mysteriously opened again and Mr Purrett stood guard while Jabez unhooked various levers and reattached them in different ways and did the same with strings which were untied and tied again crossways so that a lever pressed, say, would sound a bell instead of a chime."

Jabez stepped forward. "Sir, you have forgot the bellows and the lamps."

My uncle nodded. "I am sorry, Jabez, but there is so much to tell. Show Tom the bellows." Jabez moved something and an eery moan came from beneath the table. He moved again and a tweet as if from a pennywhistle sounded further round. I laughed. The moan could be a departed spirit I surmised and dear Jabez had substituted the mouthpiece of a whistle in the tube from another bellows. I did not make the mistake of stating the obvious again. "We have not fitted the lamps so far but there is one on the shelf there and Jabez can show you the mechanism." Jabez picked up an ordinary oil lamp with a glass globe around the top. This was clear but as Jabez moved his finger the globe acquired a red tinge. Somehow a piece of thin material of some sort had moved and would make the lamp shine red. "Purrett had noted the change through his spyhole and the change always produced gasps from the participants, none more than from the decoy lady." He laughed and shook his head. "It was an easy matter to make that shine green instead!" He pointed at Jabez. "Tell Tom of your invention which caused the most sensation."

Jabez looked quite serious. "There was once a boy who tied a string to Mistress Hine's doorknocker and, when it was pulled and she came to see the caller, there was no one there. Twice more he did it and then ran away." The wretch! I was that boy and had been set to do the knavish trick by... He went on as Uncle Digby chuckled. "I thought that to be a most useful scheme and I had seen your uncle's stuffed snake in the case there." He pointed at 'Sammy Snake' which Rosamund had christened. "I climbed up and draped the snake around the unused candelabra as the room was always kept most dark. I tied a black thread to its tail and ran it back over a picture rail to the door and out into the hallway as the door did not fit flush." I was grinning as he had mimed the actions as well.

"So, for the grand denouement," my uncle said from his chair. "You may demonstrate, Jabez." Jabez took the seat on which the Madame would have sat. "Is there anybody there? One rap for no and two raps for yes," Uncle Digby warbled in a falsetto voice. There was a moment's pause then two chimes were heard. "Tell me again," he said in the same voice. This time two rings of a bell. He reverted to his own voice. "Tell him, Jabez."

"Oh, Tom, Mr Purrett and I were just outside the door so could hear all this happening. The entreaties to the departed were answered but not as we had heard before or as Madame Maurice expected. We could hear Madame Maurice getting more and more flustered especially when the lamps turned green and the decoy person screamed that the spirits were truly appearing which she had not done before. I let go of the thread then and everybody screamed as the snake landed in the middle of the table and Madame Dupont started to choke. What I haven't explained is that Madame Dupont was always dressed in white and as she went into her trance something white seemed to flow from her mouth. This was usually as the lamps went red so all were then looking at the lamps. Mr Purrett could not quite see all through the spyhole as the room was too dark but he knew there was a trick being played." Jabez was clearly trying not to laugh out loud. "When they all screamed and we heard the choking sound Mr Purrett opened the door and shouted for everyone to sit still. That white stuff which Madame Maurice had said each evening was from the spirit world was nothing more than a length of very fine muslin which Madame Dupont had learned to swallow. She was able to keep an end in her mouth for it to be pulled out when needed."

Uncle Digby laughed at the face I pulled at that. "It is a trick which those sword- swallowers learn. They pass the steel down their throat without choking." I nodded for I had seen one of those clever mountebanks at a Summer Fair and stupid Jaffer Cutts had made himself sick by putting a finger into his throat in imitation.

Uncle Digby went on. "With Mr Purrett quietening everyone and Jabez pulling out the muslin to stop the choking there was the realisation by the participants that they had been hoodwinked and cheated. My other faithful footmen had been primed and raced up to the room and took control." I surmised these would have been Mr Topping, Mr Tolliver and Mr Pembridge at least. "There were cries for the constables to be called but common sense prevailed. None of the participants would want their stupidity bruited abroad in the Courts. The three women and the maid were sent packing that night back to France and a very nasty business was stopped in its tracks. We have since heard that there were many others who had lost quite large sums to pay for the false messages and are now licking their wounds but dare not cry 'Foul'."

"That is some story," I said. I went over to the seated Jabez. "You do not surprise me. I am so glad you have my uncle's confidence." As I finished there were two rings of the bell, a chime and a long low moan.

My uncle's chest was heaving. "I will let Jabez give a demonstration to the boys. There are seven places. Jabez will be Madame Maurice and you can be the decoy. I cannot promise to be Madame Dupont as I can neither sword swallow nor go into a trance."

Both I and Jabez gave a snort of laughter and I sat at that place and found the thick pad on top of the carpet and pressed my foot over it. As I pressed sharply so a rap came from a place next to Jabez. "It is like playing the foot pedals on an organ," I said.

"Tom, you are very near the truth," my uncle said. "We have found that Madame Maurice, which is not her real name, had a father who was an organ builder and he devised this table and made it for his daughter to hoodwink the gullible. He was a most able craftsman and that is why the levers and rods are so well-made and work so easily."

Jabez put a thumb up in the air and three raps, two chimes and a whistle sounded.

Ten minutes later I was able to make my own bell ring, the chime sound, raps at three places round the table and by pressing on the soft leather bulb disguised as a carved knob on the leg I could provide a realistic moan which made my uncle smile. All this was accomplished with both my hands flat on the tablecloth and a pious look on my face.

My uncle's smile turned to a laugh. "You have learned well. You must go on your adventure now but we will try this later. I will arrange for sustenance for all at four o'clock. It will not be too dark as the boys must not be frightened but should be entertained." He looked from me to Jabez. "You are willing to be conspirators?"

Jabez chuckled. "Sir, I think this could be a good diversion to warn the unwary of the evils of others and this would be a good preparation."

My uncle was nodding. "Well said, but we would be battling against a wall of incredulity. I despair of those who fall for idiocies such as this. There is plenty of other evidence of those believing quacks and their remedies and those fooled by the get-rich-quick sellers of fake investments."

"How is one to know, though, uncle?" I asked. "How does one learn to dismiss such chicanery?"

"There is one simple rule, my boy. If it sounds too good to be true it is most probably no good. Keep that in mind and you may make the mistake of missing a fortune but you have a greater chance of not losing one you already have." He held up a hand. "I admit I did not buy shares in a new venture to build steamboats but I have given thought to the railways and hope to make a little money there." He smiled at Jabez. "In fact, as Jabez has not told you, he is the owner of twenty shares in a company as acknowledgment of his part in ridding this country of a trio of ne'er-do-wells. One of the gentlemen was so grateful we had prevented him losing a considerable sum he rewarded both Jabez and Purrett immediately."

"Sir, that was too great a payment for what we did," Jabez said quietly.

"No, my boy, it was well-deserved," my uncle said dismissing his objection with a wave of his hand. He looked at me. "Now, Tom, not a word of that to anyone, eh?" I nodded. I knew I was being trusted once again. He looked at the small clock on the table near him. "It is almost ten so you had better marshal the forces ready for the onslaught on the capital!" I nodded and thanked him for the most instructive time I had had so far. He laughed and dismissed me and Jabez with a quick flip of his thumb.

As we went along the passageway and no one else was about I asked Jabez quietly if there was anything new about St James Street. I did not say 'Black Jack'. Jabez shook his head and whispered that the house was empty now other than for the housekeeper and her son as Jack Lascelles and his father were reputed to be in France. The bank had collapsed and creditors were gathering from what he had heard. I said nothing but hoped my father's deeds for Cobblers Farm were not in question.

When we reached my room upstairs I found I had not been missed. Robin and the three younger boys were there with Mehmet demonstrating how he would massage someone with a hurt from playing at rackets or some rough game. The patient lying on the bed, fully clothed, was young Freddy with one arm out being manipulated by Mehmet while the other arm was under the attention of James copying Mehmet's every move.

Freddy was clearly enjoying himself as he was squealing with pleasure as first Mehmet would knead an arm and James would copy the movements on the other arm. As we entered the room I heard Mehmet exclaim "Oh, sir, you will take all my trade away from me if you learn so quickly." He was laughing as he said it. He saw us and stood back.

Robin turned and saw us, too. "I think my brother would be a keen apprentice at the Baths we are hearing about. Mehmet will show us his exercises as well."

Mehmet smiled as he helped Freddy from the bed. "My patient is cured of his aches, I believe," he said and bowed his head to the young man who thanked him with grace.

"Oh, Tom, I am learning so much here," Freddy said.

"You will learn much more as it is time we set out on our Grand Tour," I said, "We must get coats, hats and cloaks on and go to the Mews as I am sure Master Branscombe will be waiting there for us."

To be continued:

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Thanks. Joel.