Tom Brownings Schooldays

Tom Browning's Schooldays

By

Joel

Chapter Forty Six

Was Robin being serious? Did he really want a silver ring in his cods? I waited.

"Branscombe says it didn't cause him any hurt and Maitland is determined to be adorned in that way if he travels to Canterbury," said Robin with a grin on his face. "I am not decided yet but it is something to consider."

"Have you never been hit there?" I asked rather in puzzlement.

"Yes, of course, but you should know the pain is not at the surface in the skin," he replied. "I tested last night in bed and pinched the skin quite hard and it is not the pain one has when struck." He laughed. "You are to be a physician so you must know where the most painful places are!"

"That I do! But you must take care any cut might get rotten. I would be most concerned if those tender ballocks of yours went black and what cure could there be?" I stepped forward and reached down but he held my hand.

He smiled. "We had better not touch. I have such a desire to be with you as we have been on our nights at Careby I feel I could not restrain myself."

"Oh, my dear Robin. We are just a few rooms apart but it seems a great distance. I agree we must not take the risk of our roommates' return. There will be time and place I am sure when we can be alone."

He squeezed my hand. "And thank you for the regard you have for my person. I would not wish my cods to rot away." He leaned forward and gave me a chaste kiss on my cheek. "Time and place!"

It was not to be now as heavy feet were climbing the stairs. We stood apart and then sat on two of the chairs by the desk. It would look as if we were conversing over some knotty problem set by Mr Martin! The door was flung open and Branscombe came in followed by Maitland who had a bloodied cut on his chin. He was dabbing it with a kerchief which was quite stained.

"You missed a fine game," exclaimed Branscombe. "We trounced those ruffians from Prior's who were made to wallow in the mud even more than us." He held up a hand. "I have bruised fingers where some oaf stood on them..."

"...And I need a good physician as my teeth got rattled by a boot!" complained Maitland. "I have staunched the wound outside but there is blood in my mouth and I have an aching tooth."

"Let me see," I said standing up to get on a level with Maitland's jaw and mouth.

I took the kerchief from him and instructed him to open his mouth. I dabbed the cloth and noted there was a small cut where a jagged tooth had pierced the skin of his inner lip. It would heal but I could see it was painful. He winced as I touched it, even more so as I pushed on the tooth and found it a little loose.

"You will need to have that damaged tooth removed or it will be even more painful if it rots below," I said remembering my father's discomfort until he visited Mr Barker at the forge. "I think you have only a small cut from the edge of it. If it is painful now I have a remedy which would last the night." That would be some of the tincture of poppy juice which Lancelot warned me to use sparingly.

He placed a large finger into his mouth. He winced again. "That tooth was cracked in a football game last year. You gave me something for the pain but a walnut at Christmas broke some more and that kick today has made it worse."

"I would advise that you go to a tooth-drawer. There must be one in Ashbourne though my father swears by our farrier as the best."

Maitland looked rather troubled at this. "I have heard the pain is immense when a tooth is drawn."

"That pain can be reduced after the tooth is out," I said with as much authority as I could muster. "The remedy I use this time would be sufficient I am sure, though I would increase the amount a little unless the tooth-drawer has another potion."

Both Branscombe and Robin were listening to this most intently. "Travis, my friend, I had a tooth drawn when I was twelve and I was made quite senseless with a good draught of brandy before it happened," Branscombe said. He held up his hand again. I could see the fingers were somewhat reddened. "What remedy would you suggest here?"

Robin sniggered. "I do not think surgeon Browning has a bone-saw in his box of potions but I warrant a gentler cure is there!"

"Boy! If my hand was not damaged you would be feeling it on your bare arse. I forgive you, though, as I do not have to worry over that wretched construe." He dangled his hand in front of me and bent his fingers slowly. He winced, too.

I knew that Lancelot always tested to see if any bones were broken as I had been with him when a groom was brought in who had his foot stood on by a horse. Luckily it was only bruised very badly though Lancelot wondered if a toe bone might be cracked.

"Give me your hand," I said holding out my left hand palm upwards. He placed his much bigger hand on it. I pressed on each of his fingers and though he screwed up his face when I felt two of his knuckles I was sure they were just bruised. I gave him my opinion and said they should come to my room where my apothecary's box was kept.

Both Theo and George were there with George displaying a large red patch on his right thigh. "Oh, there you are," he said as I entered, "And what does this rabble want or have they come to ogle my hurt? That damned Maltravers booted me and I felt nothing until I stepped from the bath! You have dealt with the last injury I had like this so I have faith you will physick me again."

He made no move to cover himself as he was in just a shirt and his underclout which was rather loose and ill-fitting at the front. He was flexing his leg which meant there was a sight of the end of his peg peeping out.

"This other object looks a little red," said Maitland bending down and peering at the roseate end. "You did not challenge Maltravers to a bout of quarterstaffs after that kick and received a deathly blow?"

The older ones guffawed at this with Robin and me looking at each other with wonder.

"I guarantee if it came to that I would win handsomely," said George, "Maltravers is rather ill-served in some parts." He must have seen the looks on our faces. "There is no secret there. Even Theo here has been challenged to a duel..." Theo held up his hands palms outwards as a sign of mitigation. "...We were all Whelps together and curious and that daft ninny Stanford, who went to Carstairs' House after, said our young stiffnesses were the quarterstaffs of old. We were quite bold and challenges flew fast and furious until Matron heard us shouting one morning and came to quieten us. She found some six of us as naked as the day we were born holding each other in pairs by the shoulder and trying to belabour our partner's shaft until 'Pax' was called."

Maitland's chest was heaving. "And never was 'Pax' called as I remember. We stopped only when out of breath. Excitement grew the day that Stanford spurted his first. We thought some great damage had been done but Chisholm said his older brothers had shown him their prowess and we learned of other things."

"What did Matron do?" asked Robin, "Were you switched for lewdness?"

"Dear boy," said Branscombe with a laugh, "Matron's eyes were none too good and she thought we were but having a wrestle as Davis here piped up and said the ancient Greeks always wrestled naked. We learned to keep quiet after that but it was a jolly lark while it lasted."

This free talk about such boyish acts could not be lewd as each knew of their friend's frequent pleasure and both Robin and I were now known to keep that nightly vigil, too. Robin had a merry glint in his eye as he looked at Branscombe.

"Quarterstaffs, eh? Would it not be better named a 'cock-fight'?"

There were renewed guffaws. George slapped him on the back and showed even more of his quiescent but solid staff. "We named it that, too, and Chisholm brought back a pair of the spurs which the birds have but no volunteers were forthcoming for a trial." He laughed. "Those sharp points would have drawn blood and Chisholm already had a soreness from his own bouts so even he would not offer himself."

All laughed at this and Robin nodded at me. We were accepted now as equals I was sure. I thought I had better start dealing with the hurts.

"Gentlemen," I said as I opened the lid of my apothecary's box, "I will treat you one by one. Mr Maitland, sir, I would serve you first." I picked out the jar labelled 'Tincture P' and took out the stopper. I took up one of the small silver cups and carefully poured just a few drops of the liquid into it. I picked out one of the small wooden slivers which Lancelot said were easiest to use when painting an affected tooth and dipped it into the fluid. Maitland was ready with his mouth open and I carefully touched the jagged edge and then rubbed the gum with what remained on the pointed end. I repeated this three times until there was a good coating on both the tooth and the surrounding gum and no more liquid in the cup. I said he should try not to touch or lick the tooth with his tongue or he would lose the efficacy. Maitland closed his mouth and smiled. I stoppered the bottle and replaced it, then went to the fire and flicked the wooden sliver into the flames. Lancelot had said it was not good to use the same piece for more than one tincture or ointment. I said that if the pain persisted I would give one more treatment but he should make an arrangement to have the tooth drawn. He did not look very happy at this but nodded his head as George patted him on the back.

"Fingers next, Mr Branscombe!" I announced and took out the bottle labelled 'Tincture Arnica'. Cedric held out his hand and I made sure there were no cuts on the knuckles. I asked him to open his other hand and poured a little of the tincture into that palm. I said he should press his injured fingers into it and that should ease any bruising. It was now George's turn. He had been watching patiently and silently and obediently raised his shirt and loose underclout so I could inspect his thigh. Again there were no cuts so arnica could be applied.

"I think you will have a mighty bruise there if it is not treated," I said as the redness was quite intense. He remained silent as I took up the little brush which was kept close to the bottle. I used the same cup and a drachm or so of the arnica was poured in which I carefully brushed over the area. I did this also three times until all the liquid again had been used.

"You will have earned a good feast of sausages tonight for all this," George said and there were more than murmurs of assent. He turned to Maitland. "Perhaps if your tooth is no better he could have your share as well which I will help him consume."

"George Lascelles, even if my tooth is hanging out I shall eat my fill," Maitland said very emphatically, "I have not forgiven you for stealing that good slice of beef from my platter at the inn at Hapton when you said the serving wench was ogling me. There was no serving wench in view but some skinny old crone who was screeching she needed the privy."

"And if you as a gallant young man had aided her in her quest you might have been privy to her maidenly secrets," replied George with a great grin.

"Maidenly?" rejoined Maitland, "The old hag was over her three score and ten by many a year and the old sot with her was her eldest son we heard. There were no secrets there to be sure except for the conversation they were having."

"She must have interested you," said Theo softly. "You must have spent time looking and listening for all that intelligence."

Maitland did smile then. "It was the argument between her and her companions. That son and his wife and two younger men were in conference over some land the son was selling. I surmised the land was in the hands of the old crone and she was beginning to lose her wits and the son was eager to get his hands on the money."

"You heard more than I did," said George. "Those younger ones were a crafty pair as well and were keeping the others well into ale and brandy when we went up to bed. I warrant they were after the land for another of these railways and those ninnies had no idea what was afoot."

"I guessed that, too," Maitland agreed, "But it was not the place to make a comment as there were two big fellows with cudgels at the door. Money was going to pass that night to be sure."

George snorted. "My father says he is being pestered to sell land or rights of way but it means nothing to me. He says he knows not where all the money is coming from."

I did not dare say I had already profited from a railway enterprise and caught Robin's eye and gave a slight wink. He knew not to divulge anything either.

Talk then turned to the football game. This was not much interest to me but Robin asked questions about the rules and was told he must join in the next scrummage which George was sure would be on Tuesday afternoon and he would best learn what rules there were when in a game.

"Although he was playing by my side I made sure that young Radcliffe wallowed in the mud. I warrant he has a peck 'o dirt in every crevice!" George said with a grin, "That'll teach the wretch to call me an oaf!" He looked at me. "You have a friend there now with the cure of his sore arse. As I ducked him in the hot water when I had finished bathing he wanted to know where you were and why were you not playing. I said you had gone a-riding but I would see you get put in the next Hare and Hounds. He and you could make that course as Hares. He is a fine runner and I have a wish to win that old fox's brush."

That would be a fine compliment to be the leading Hare. It would mean I needed to stretch my legs somewhat to see that I could stand the pace after all my indulgences over Christmas and the New Year. I resolved that if Mr Martin dismissed us early on Monday I would take the opportunity and run towards Ashbourne and back. Robin could join me if he so wished and he would be set for his game on Tuesday.

It was nearing time for our evening meal and I had not had the sense to see Farquar about his Scotch dance. I beckoned Robin and we excused ourselves saying what our mission was. The others laughed and said it was going to be a sight with that pair cavorting.

Farquar was alone in his room reading from some thick tome by the light of two candles. He greeted us warmly and I explained we had had no time to look over his book of tunes but we both knew a Scotch Reel and the Strathspey. He said the Reel would suffice as he had attended the Sing-Song where Angus Gordon had danced so knew what my playing and that of the accordion player was like. "Och, wi' a fiddle as well it'll be like being at hame!" he said and clasped his hands together. "We have a fine fiddler who is ma faither's ghillie and his son plays wi' him, too." He pointed to the bed. "I hae ma kilt and all there ready. That boy Japhet has found a new pheasant feather for ma' bonnet as the other was lost." He grinned. "I wad'na be dressed wi'oot it."

He said he would attend the birthday celebrations for George afterwards and had 'a wee giftie' for him. He pointed to a small bottle of what was undoubtably good whisky. Knowing George and his likes that would be a most acceptable 'wee giftie'!

As we were about to leave so Radcliffe arrived. I had not realised he was Farquar's fag. Farquar asked him how the game had gone and where was Preston? This was their other room-mate and Farquar was told he had rushed off with others to buy comestibles for the Sing-Song and for George's celebrations afterwards. Radcliffe was again full of praise over my treatment of his saddle-soreness. I said George had mentioned the next Hare and Hounds but refrained from asking if he had removed all the mud from his crevices.

"That would be most agreeable to be a Hare," he said. "I must make more time for running though."

I said of my hopes for time on Monday. Robin was nodding and Radcliffe said he was in Mr Skrimshire's room and if he made good progress with his work the master would most probably dismiss him early. Oh, he was the master who played the organ in Chapel. I would have to ask Radcliffe what he was like.

Radcliffe was not sure if he was invited to the merriment after the Sing-Song but I said he should be our guest and if he hobbled he could say he needed treatment from his friend 'the Doctor'! I was more than ready to caress, nay, I mean I would be happy to alleviate any soreness. To quell those thoughts I asked if he rode at home.

"My father keeps a small stable but only of necessity. He had an accident when younger and has a stiffened leg so we travel everywhere by coach. My brother who is married to George's sister..." Here he smiled broadly. "...is a most accomplished rider and has won many a point-to-point."

I smiled back at him. "So that is why you can call him oaf?"

He laughed and crinkled his eyes. "Yes, he is my brother-in-law but our families have been connected for many years." He didn't continue but I surmised there was more to tell as he nodded his head back at Farquar who had resumed reading his book.

"You must sit with us and then we can all come here together for the celebration," I said.

"Thank you for the invitation. I will accompany you both to the Sing-Song and I am sure we shall all be most merry!" he said and smiled his most engaging smile again. "I have nothing for his birthday so I had better rush to see what Mistress Williams has displayed on her counter as I know many were going there and there will be little of anything left."

I thought he was going to embrace us both but just patted our sleeves. Robin was grinning as we climbed the stair to our top floor.

"I think that boy wishes to be friends, at least with you, my dear Tom. He has experienced your gentle touch already and I am ready for that touch, too!"

"With good liniment, my friend?" I said and poked his arm.

"Not where I wish to feel those fingers of yours." He stayed my progress by an arm around my shoulder. "Better still with that tongue of yours."

"But my tongue is reputed to be sharp," I said and leaned into him.

"Not when it does its proper duty for me," he whispered and gently kissed my cheek.

"Please, Robin, do not rouse me..."

It was more than either could stand. We hurried down the flights of stairs and soon found ourselves in the warmth and darkness of the washroom. There were no bathers and no young Potts as we pried into all the dark corners. There was a bundle of sheets and towels ready for the wash and we were soon lying head to toe and laving each other's hardnesses. As we were fully loaded and primed it was no more than a few moments before we savoured those boyish essences again. We leaned up together and shared our gifts with full kisses holding each other tightly.

We parted and stood and kissed again and then righted our britches and buttoned them.

"A good place..." whispered Robin.

"...and time," I murmured back feeling most content.

We stumbled a bit in the darkness but found our way back to the entry door. No Pullen was in sight as we went up the stairs again. We just held hands at the top as we parted.

"I know I shall play so well now," Robin said and squeezed my hand, "I needed to free myself with you and I am so happy now."

"That is the same for me," I responded, "but we need good sustenance first and I heard the three-quarter chime while we were down below. We eat at seven o'clock tonight as the Sing-Song begins at eight."

Both George and Theo were in our room but did not ask where I had been. George was brushing his hair vigorously as it was quite tousled after being wet from the bath. Theo was tying a new cravat. He said it was a present from one of his sisters at Christmas and he had not worn it before. George had a spotted kerchief tied loosely round his throat as he said he was singing naval songs and though that was not his intended career he might as well look the part.

I found that Ham and Japhet, with two of the serving-boys aiding them, would be preparing the hot sausages and other offerings for half past nine and that there was permission to carouse, as George put it, until at least eleven o'clock.

"We shall not be disturbed as the Righteous Pair and their acolyte will be at that Chapel until past that time and they have to walk back," George said and clapped his hands and resumed brushing. "They will be chanting Hallelujahs I am sure to keep any sinners away as they pass the beer houses."

Theo said nothing but tugged at George's sleeve. "Come along, Adonis, your greasy locks will never be more untangled however much you wield that brush!"

George just shook his head and then let his tawny mop settle. "There, my good fellow, I am ready and if we are first at the table we shall have the hottest food."

I was also ready as my stomach had rumbled more than once in the last few minutes. We were not quite first as Maitland, Branscombe and Robin were at the dining-room door before us. However, we were all served straight away with mutton chops, a thick gravy and heaps of mashed potato. I fell to and was soon scooping up the remains of my gravy with a hunk of bread.

George had Collett on his other side to Theo and while Collett's attention was distracted George skilfully forked a sizeable mutton chop from his plate as he had helped himself to two more than we were usually allowed. Even then he did not notice George's thievery and was more intent in complaining that he had not been able to buy the brandy he needed as Figgis had shut his alehouse to attend a funeral.

"I wager it was someone he had poisoned with that foul ale he brews," said the big fellow sitting opposite Collett, "I suffered mightily after that last Sing-Song and I had no more than a quart of the muck."

I remembered the agony of the belly ache George had after his over-indulgence with that strong liquor then and my treatment of him. This big fellow must have been another who suffered the same night. He was not one, though, who had been given a dose of Lancelot's Balm. George remained silent and finished his extra chop most speedily without detection.

I noted our group only partook of the hot sweet cordial this evening and did not quaff the quantities of small beer some of the others were imbibing. I saw Farquar and Angus Gordon leave together as soon as they had eaten their helpings of fruit pie. They would have to change into their Highland dress as at present they were in their everyday clothes.

There was much joshing of George as we left the dining-room and he replied that he knew who his friends were but all were welcome to celebrate his birthday tomorrow with a rousing hymn in Chapel!

There was just a little time to collect our instruments as we had been delayed by so much chat. Robin brought along a couple of other music books in case more tunes were wanted. We had to walk rapidly to the Great Hall and there was quite a throng already gathered at the long tables when we arrived. Radcliffe was waiting by the door and Robin handed him the music books to carry. George took a prominent place as he had said he would be most obliged to open the evening with a song. We made a group round him with a music stand set up beforehand for us at the end of our table. There were tankards already lined up and a couple of flagons of cordial. George grinned and said the contents were harmless and we must wait for later. Theo smiled at me as he laid down the law with George about taking too much strong drink too early.

When the great majority were safely gathered Winstanley rapped the table he was sitting at with other members of the Upper School. We were all welcomed most heartily and then he pointed to George. He stood and nodded to Robin, to me and to the accordion player in acknowledgement that we would accompany him. He had decided to start as usual with 'Hearts of Oak'. There was a great 'Hurray' as we started with the first few bars ready for George's entry. He sang that first verse so well and waved his hands to make everyone join in the second and third verses: 'We'll still make them fear, and we'll still make them flee' rose from all those assembled throats. There were cheers as all finished with a great cry of 'More!' following. George was smiling and whispered 'Ye Mariners of England'. I quickly turned the pages and found it. Another cheer and we were off.

After that a number of others wanted to sing and we found ourselves accompanying 'The Song of the Western Men' sung by a big Cornish lad, so we heard, who was in Prior's House. George whispered that he was a good footballer who didn't resort to kicking his opponents! He said this as he filled tankards for us of some of the very pleasant concoction. A lad with a fine tenor voice then sang 'The Vicar of Bray' which was received rather quietly by a number but he received a good ovation when he finished. Another big lad who had the build of a fine countryman sang 'A-Hunting We Will Go' with great verve and it had to be repeated with everyone joining in. It was then Robin's and my turn. We played two of the duets we had performed at the dinner party at Careby. There was good applause for those and then there was a clamour for the Whelps to sing 'Pretty Polly Oliver' as they had done before. I noted this time that young Freddy Neville played the part of the Captain and he had a most tuneful clear treble voice.

There was rumble of expectant chatter after that which rose to a great clapping as the side doors opened and Farquar and Angus Gordon entered each in their full Highland dress of kilt, sporran, silver-buttoned jacket, bonnet and plaid. Each carried a sword which they laid crossways in the space left for them to perform.

We played the first bars of the Reel as introduction while they bowed to the company present. We started again and facing each other they danced both gracefully and with vigour. As they varied their steps so we had to repeat the tune three times until with swirling kilts they finished and bowed again. The cheers were tremendous. They took up the swords and place them on a nearby table then stood side by side as they danced the 'Strathspey'. This was also well-received and then there was quiet as Simpson stepped forward. He sang Mr Purcell's 'Fairest Isle' with such grace and ease that we were almost superfluous to the beauty of his sound. As he finished with the lines 'Grateful ev'ry nymph shall prove, and as these excel in beauty those shall be renown'd in love.' there was almost a reverent hush. Truly, as we had found, it was music to sooth even the most savage of breasts or beasts! The applause and the rattling of tankards on the tables was equal to that for the dancers. Simpson bowed and thanked us for our help. He needed no help; he was perfection.

So the evening progressed. It did become rowdier as many were imbibing more than the cordial supplied but the sequence of good songs progressed unabated. All the favourites from 'Drink to me only with thine eyes' to 'Begone dull care' and 'D'ye ken John Peel' were sung with great enthusiasm by the soloists and repeated again by all those assembled. I did hear Maitland whisper 'Seventeen Come Sunday' but George just shook his head. Farquar and Gordon were persuaded to do their sword dance again and we played it all a little faster so kilts were swirling even more. We played Mr Handel's 'Entry of the Queen of Sheba' to good applause after which George sang his favourite 'Tom Bowling'. As usual all joined in the rounds and catches especially 'Turn again Whittington'. Finally we played the 'Sailor's Hornpipe' increasing the tempo on each repetition which got many up on their feet and jigging about to much raucous laughter from themselves and their companions who were still seated. The three of us instrumentalists got a magnificent acclamation as the evening came to an end. My lips were quite sore from so much blowing but I had enjoyed such merriment. As we left the Great Hall we were clapped on the back or complimented on our playing. That was quite a welcome and an occasion to savour for Robin.

I didn't realise but two of the Masters had been sitting with the Sixth Form and Praepostors at their table. One was Mr Martin who congratulated us most warmly as he passed us. The other was Mr Skrimshire who was talking with Theo. He came up to us as we were packing our instruments away. He also spoke most cordially about our playing.

"Davis tells me you both play the organ as well. We must make an arrangement for me to hear you. Stay after Chapel tomorrow if you will and come up to the console while I am playing after the service," he continued. "I bid you goodnight and with many thanks for the enjoyment you have helped to provide."

As we walked backed to Ridley's House Theo said Mr Skrimshire was most interested as there were no other boys who he knew of in the School who also played. Robin said he hoped we would be found good enough to play as he enjoyed music so much. Theo said we should visit him in Peterborough and he would ask the organist to allow us to experience the organ there. I didn't boast but said that Robin had been promised a sight of the organ in St Paul's Cathedral and I hoped to see it also.

"I have sat in the organ loft and watched but there are so many knobs and handles I would not know what to do," Theo said, "I do not envy those brawny fellows who have to pump to keep the wind going in. I have heard there are plans for some water engine to be used but do not know how that will work."

I thought of that steam engine I had seen at the College in London. That could be used to drive a pump. Theo then excused himself and said he would visit the privy first.

Radcliffe had also offered to carry our books back so he came straight to my room. As we climbed the stair he remarked that it smelt like a cookshop. It did as the aroma of hot spiced sausages wafted around and became stronger as we approached the room. We noted a row of empty chamber pots lined up in the passageway. No chances were being taken. The room door was wide open with the bed pushed to one side and Japhet was there with a griddle pan surveying an array of cooked and uncooked sausages.

"Oh, sir," he said as he heard me enter, "Is Mr Lascelles arriving? All must be prepared."

"Do not concern yourself," I said, "He will be some time as he is busy talking to others on the pathway. It all smells so good."

He looked up and grinned. "My brother has an equal share in the other room and there is a pile of other vittles as well which the boys will serve. My mother was quite sold out what with that Sing-Song and all this. I warrant there will be a mighty throng here later."

I put my flute-box away and took out a packet of bon-bons and another of chocolate from my chest which I would add to the feast. There were sounds of tramping feet which meant others were ready to make merry. George came in with Theo and was most complimentary about the evening so far. "I wager you two will be in demand whenever any House has a go like tonight. Chalfont in Carstairs says he has plans for his eighteenth birthday in the middle of February and said he would be pleased to borrow you." He laughed. "I might charge him a guinea for the loss of your services cooking me more of these succulent beasts." He patted Japhet's shoulder. "I hope there'll be sufficient for all who'll be here tonight!"

"Sir, I shall be a-cooking all these for a time yet. There is another basket under that bed."

George guffawed. "Do not mistake it for the usual pot which might be there."

"I b'aint that daft, sir, and that's why there is a good row outside," he replied and resumed turning the sausages on his griddle.

Gradually the room began to fill and George was handed the bottle by Farquar and a packet by Preston who I knew from Mr Ridley's classes. Radcliffe excused himself and was soon back with another packet. Both contained savoury tartlets from Mrs Williams' shop. More bottles were produced and additions were made to the flagons also lined up in the passageway. I heard some rude wag say he must not miss where he directed his piss later!

Tankards and beakers were being filled and toasts were shouted out. I followed George as he went to the other end room where there was a similar sight with Ham busy cooking his supply of sausages. In the end all doors along were open and china platters were handed around by a couple of the young serving-boys who never seemed to have a name. There was bread as well so hot sausages could be held safely and bitten into with the juices absorbed. I certainly had my ration of three and with two tankards with either brandy or whisky added I felt most replete. My bon-bons and chocolate were eagerly sort after and I just had two of the tartlets to help soak up more of the liquid I was enjoying. There was singing and many puns and jokes and George was grasped by four of the bigger lads including Preston and Lawson and had seventeen bumps which he accompanied with ever more noisy cries for mercy. 'My poor arse is sore now!' was his final cry. That would be cured by itself not with any application of my liniment! I think I was getting quite maudlin with the drink.

At last time was called and an even merrier throng departed stumbling and swearing as stairs were missed. Both Robin and I had been hugged and bussed quite openly by several as they passed us. Radcliffe was hanging on to Robin's arm and was almost incoherent saying he urgently wanted a piss. He already had his britches open but was frantically trying to find his pizzle and not succeeding. Robin was also well-gone in drink I was sure but he led the lad to the nearest pot which was a good quarter filled already. I made Radcliffe kneel or he would miss, but there was no way the lad could retrieve his own peg. A decision had to be made!

To be continued:

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