Tom Browning's Schooldays

Tom Browning's Schooldays

by

Joel

Chapter Six

I thought his eyes would pop out of his head. Yes, we did look very much alike, we were both the same height, we both had flowing black locks and blue eyes, our noses and ears were alike, we both had a slight cleft to our chins, we both had ready smiles which were now evident. Yes, we could even be twins! But, no! The truth must come out.

George was looking from one to the other of us. At last he found his tongue. "You're not brothers?"

I looked at Robin who wrinkled his nose and smiled hugely at me.

"No, George, we are uncle and nephew in all but name," I said.

He just stared harder at this revelation.

"You may tell him," said Robin, "It's well known."

I shut the door and helped Robin first to put the pile of clean clothing on the big bed. George was still staring at the pair of us.

"To tell the truth," I began, "Robin is my eldest brother's son. Everyone knows in the village and it is really quite a happy story except I feel sad that I have things in life which my dear Robin does not."

Robin put a hand out and held my arm. "Tom, you know I have what I need and I am content. But you tell the tale, I have heard it many times."

"It is like this. We had a new young parlourmaid some fifteen or so years ago. She caught my brother's fancy the summer he had left this school and, as things are, they were found by my Father enjoying each other on a sofa in his study. Torquil had thought that Father was out for the day on business. So, they were surprised just as Torquil had finished but were still holding each other and kissing. Father gave Torquil a good whipping on his bare backside with the riding crop he always carries." I laughed. "Torquil says he still has the stripes as Father had a very heavy hand. Poor Jenny was to be dismissed but my Mother sent her to Aunt Matty Dodd's as she could not be totally blamed. They did it that one time which produced our Robin but his Mother did not suffer from her fault..."

Robin was still holding my arm and gave a little chuckle. "....No," he said, taking up the story, "A young stonemason had just finished his apprenticeship and was working in the church on a monument and asked my mother to marry him though he knew she was carrying me. I am lucky, I have two good fathers, Steven Goodhew and Tom's brother. I also have two young half-brothers, Philip and James who are twelve and ten."

It was my turn again. I laughed. "My brother Terence is so fond of telling me that Father was so roused seeing his eldest son with his britches down that I was made that night. Whatever happened it was a race and I was born one day before dear Robin which was quite proper as I am his uncle!" I leaned over and hugged him and gave him the kiss I had wanted to give him ever since we had arrived here.

George breathed out then as I swear he must have been holding his breath. He stood up. "That is one good story. Give me your hand, young Robin." They shook hands and then George hugged him, too. He laughed. "You are almost brothers as you smell of horse as he often does. But I have to tell me that my brother Augustus says my Father must have had his britches round his ankles as well, and more than once from the tales he has heard!"

Yes it was a common story. Even old Squire Matthews had a son now in Canada who, as Jabez Bottom had told me, was 'the fruit of that old bugger's youthful loins, which must be quite withered away now!'. I then said that Robin's Mother worked for my Aunt Matty sometimes still and he had also been tutored by Uncle Dodd. In fact, while I was telling George this and about our close friendship, Robin was looking at the prep George had been doing. Robin picked up the sheet George had been writing on.

"May I suggest you change 'Juvenal' to 'the young man' or 'the youth' here," he said, pointing to the English under the Latin.

I looked over at the page where George had to construe 'Iuvenum praestanti munere donat' and he had written 'He gives Juvenal a precious gift.' He had thought the first word was the name of the Roman lawyer.

He shook his head. "I am a hopeless fool!" He gave a wry grin. "And I am to be corrected by a wise young groom!"

I think that remark cemented our friendships. George had to hear more. All about our adventures in the village. He realised that Robin's sturdiness came from helping his father Steven with masonry work. Steven had made such a good impression and had been readily accepted by all the villagers and was renowned and valued, even by old Squire Matthews of the withered cock, for his skill as a mason. He was much in demand throughout the district and had taken on one of the village boys, Abel Munnings, as an apprentice and he was now twenty four and ready to set up for himself. Robin wondered if either of his young half-brothers would followed their father's trade but they were both studious lads but one loved drawing and the other writing stories and Uncle Dodd, as we all called him, had them under his wing.

We found out that because of Usher Pullen's bad temper several of the Remove had received a cut or two for unruly behaviour and Old Bartleby had more or less taken pity on George and had sent him and Collins off with a construe and a page of arithmetic to do as they were working industriously - or at least they seemed to be.

George kept looking at both Robin and me and at last he couldn't contain himself. "Theo will be here soon, let us play a good trick on him." He laughed. "Lend Robin some clothes and he can dress like you and when Theo comes in you can be each side of the bed and can appear to be in two places at once."

Robin and I grinned at each other and he stripped off his jerkin and riding britches. George was still staring at him.

"I have seen that before," he said pointing at Robin's thigh. I looked and saw that Robin was wearing very short underclothes and his thighs were well on view especially the inner side of his right thigh. "That mark!"

"Yes, George, you saw that birth mark on me when we were in the bath." I would have to explain that to Robin sometime. "My brother Terence has the same and my Grandmama Crossley says her father and his brother both had it but her brother does not. It has come down the family she says."

George was quick. "And Robin's proper father?"

"No," I said, "Grandmama says it can miss some in the family but it always shows itself. We cannot explain it but Grandmama says it is something special."

"You are truly like brothers rather than uncle and nephew," said George.

When Robin was dressed in my spare jacket and day britches and he had borrowed George's tasselled cap we did look so much alike. We were giggling when we heard Theo's voice outside. I stood behind George by the desk as if looking at his work while Robin went to the other side of the bed and hid behind the hanging drape. Theo came in carrying an armful of books.

"I have brought most of these for you, young Tom. Where do you want them?"

"On the shelf there, please," I said pointing to the one near the door. He turned and put them tidily.

I could see Robin and signalled it was his turn. I slid down and hid behind the desk.

"Thank you," said Robin from the other side of the room. There was no way I could have got there!

Theo turned and stared at the second Tom. "You were behind George a moment ago." He turned and I got up behind George holding a piece of paper. This distracted him and gave a moment for Robin to go behind the drape again.

"I dropped this over there," I said, holding it up.

"But..." began Theo, his head was going to and fro as Robin stepped out and we were both in view. "...Who?"

I had to let him off the hook. "This is Robin, my groom, my best friend and..." I took a breath. "...and my nephew!"

He stared. Then he shook his head. "I should have known. Every moment there's something new with Tom Browning!" He laughed and looked at Robin. "Tell me the truth. Is he really your uncle?"

Robin raised his eyebrows and nodded and I had to repeat the story while he stripped again and changed back to his own clothes,. All Theo did was grin and then laugh, especially when George added that Robin had corrected his construe.

"When will wonders cease," Theo said when I had finished, "'ad Kalendas Graecas!'" [Lat: Never!]

"'Aut inveniam viam aut faciam'" said Robin. [Lat: There will be, or I will make one]

Both Theo and I laughed and George raised his eyes, as usual, Heavenwards.

"Am I to be told how to ride in that accursed tongue, too?" he said.

"'kai ta leipomena...' was Robin's response. [Gr: And the rest...]

"Stop it, Robin!" I said sharply, "You must not boast."

He looked rather sheepish but George stepped forward and took him in a great hug. "My father has always told me all men are equal though we are placed in different stations, but you, my good Robin, are more than my equal in learning. I feel we shall be great friends." He held him away and looked him straight in the eyes, then drew him back and kissed his forehead.

Robin smiled as George released him and I saw a tear in his eye. "I hope I may be a friend. You must also promise to be a good friend to Tom." George nodded but said nothing.

Theo was grinning. "I think you might better me if I am not careful. Give me your hand. I would be your friend, too. And we must make plans that your own studies are not wanting."

We explained that Uncle Dodd had made a list of things he had to do before we went back home at Christmas. He said he was busy but made time to read the books he had and to do the calculations set. Since Mr Darlow had asked for his help he would also be able to practice his skills. Theo said that he would read any exercises he did. We also made arrangements for riding the next afternoon. Robin asked if young Timmy might accompany us and he would be riding Mr Dimbleby's Newton as he was safe and gentle and Timmy was still a novice.

After Robin went there was much laughter over the relationship and the way we had caught Theo by the deception. But we had our work for the morning to do and settled to that.

Time passed slowly for me that Wednesday morning. I was itching for the ride in the afternoon and I really had to concentrate when Mr Martin was making us translate as we read. But, luncheon time came and I was well-filled with mutton pie and a mess of green beans and a good hot pudding of bread soaked in milk and egg with fat raisins all cooked together. I had to wait while George changed into his riding britches and managed to pull off a button in his haste so that his fly gaped. I wondered if he might display himself as most often when riding the movement made my pizzle harden.

Maitland was ready when we knocked on his door and the three of us marched to the stables and were greeted by Robin who had all five horses saddled, including Jack Lascelles's Tarquin which Robin was to ride. Young Timmy was already mounted on Newton and I knew he had a good touch as the old horse was neighing softly as he leaned forward to stroke his neck.

We rode out into the country and explored many a country lane and when we saw a farmer asked if we might ride over his grassy field up onto the fell beyond. On his permission we were able to survey the countryside for many a mile from the high vantage point. I thought how different this was from the flat land of my own Lincolnshire where we could count seven church towers or spires from just the slight rise outside our village.

We were happy talking together as we rode, each taking in turn to see that young Timmy rode carefully. Again, Newton must have sensed the caution of his apprentice rider and when we others broke into a canter Newton just trotted along sedately until we had slowed and he caught up. All was great company for the five of us and Maitland entertained us with a couple of good songs and we all joined in with 'A good sword and a trusty hand' which he said was a great favourite of his. So it was a group of five happy lads who rode into the stable yard.

Things were not happy there. We could hear someone shouting and cursing even before we turned in. It was Black Jack. He was waving his riding crop at Mr Darlow who was standing with a big lad whose muscles and leather apron showed he was a farrier. Black Jack turned as we approached.

He strode up to Robin astride Tarquin. "Who gave you permission to ride my horse you little turd!" he shouted, "And where's that fucking little runt of mine, I'll beat the living shit out of him for not asking my permission! Where is the little bastard!!" Young Timmy looked scared and almost fell off Newton's back but Mr Darlow caught both him and the reins and steadied the horse. I jumped off Blaze's back and stood by Timmy. "You little fucker! Take that!" Black Jack yelled as he walked towards Timmy raising the riding crop he was carrying.

It was the last thing he did as the farrier's lad stepped forward, a fist flashed out and hit Jack square between the eyes and at the same time Newton neighed and gave Jack a mighty nudge with his head on his chest. Jack was out flat. As he fell and rolled so Tarquin stepped forward and kicked out and landed a mighty blow to his backside. Timmy was in tears. The farrier's lad bent down and lifted him up and held him tight. Newton neighed again and moved towards the pair and nuzzled Timmy. Tarquin joined him, not heeding the reins Robin was holding, and they stood as if protecting him as he was held by the young farrier. We four just watched open-mouthed.

Maitland was the first to move and dismounted quickly giving his rein to Mr Darlow as well. "It's dangerous for stupid people to get in the way of one horse let alone two," he said and picked up a bucket which, handily, was nearby. He sloshed the contents over Jack's head. As Jack began to stir Maitland went over to the big lad. "Give me your hand. I congratulate you on your speed and accuracy in defending an innocent young boy. Pity the fool was not more wary of those good horses." The big lad smiled and they shook hands.

George got down and went to Mr Darlow and stroked Newton's muzzle. The old horse neighed and blinked his eyes. If he were human I would have said he winked. "I apologise for my cousin, Mr Darlow. He should not have used such language nor stepped in front of the horses. I will see he gets back to his House and I doubt if you will be troubled by him again."

Robin dismounted and he and I steadied the horses and led them into their stalls helped by Mr Darlow and a now less-tearful Timmy while George and Maitland lifted a very groggy Jack and almost frog-marched him away. I looked at Robin and the grimace in return dared me to repeat the epithet Black Jack had directed at him. "I will get even, too," he whispered as I held his arm, "If he had struck Timmy his ballocks would have been forfeit!"

I also thanked the big lad for 'helping Timmy' as I put it. I found out he was another Jack, but of a different ilk entirely. When I saw him next in the forge by the stable I passed him a half-crown as recompense for bruising his fist while dealing with an unruly beast.

Nothing was said except that Black Jack made up some tale about slipping on stairs and banging his head to account for his black eyes. He was limping, too, for several days and we heard his temper towards the younger ones in Pratt's House was vented regularly. We were sure he had no idea what had really happened to him that day but he kept clear of the stables after that. Young Timmy rode Newton every day and I heard that Mr Dimbleby said he had never known his mount to be so content. Robin took charge of Tarquin and the five of us enjoyed many other rides that term.

My progress in Mr Martin's class was steady. I enjoyed his lessons and the work he set. Our 'History of Britain' lessons were most revealing. Poor Megson was rather disconcerted when Charles the Second was discussed. Mr Martin, with a very straight face, said it was well-known he had dalliances and there was one young wench named Nell Gwynne who sold oranges in the theatre and had at least one child by him who was made Duke of St Albans. Megson said it was sacrilege to blacken the king's name with such alleged scandal. Mr Martin looked him straight in the eye and said had he not considered all the families whose names began with 'Fitz'? Theo nudged me. "It means 'son of', like Fitzjames in Carstairs House," he whispered, "He says he has royal connections!" Perhaps Robin should be 'Fitzbrowning! Megson sat and glowered and even when Mr Martin read some of Mr Pepys's diary, which made us laugh as he described his wife as 'poor wretch', he just sat stony-faced. I thought 'poor wretch'!

The Friday hours with Mr Ridley really extended my thinking and we had discussions about many things. We were very interested in Winstanley's demonstrations of chemical actions and Mr Faraday's electricity. We were amused when he described Galvani the Italian making a dead frog's legs twitch with what he called an electric cell. We were even more astounded when he brought in a device he and Mr Dimbleby had made which had a glass plate which revolved and brushes which touched it and great blue sparks crackled and spat when it was turned. He explained this was the sort of electricity which happened in lightning and that an American named Benjamin Franklin had courted death by sending up kites to see if he could catch the charge. We were bemused when he explained the difference between that sort of electricity and that made by Mr Faraday's coils. We felt the heat from a piece of thin iron which he called a wire when a coil was rotated within a magnet and then we all twitched when we were all made to hold hands and the current, as he called it, was passed through all of us. Winstanley said he could imagine that this was something for the future and he was determined to study such things.

Another lad, Preston, whose father owned coal mines brought in pieces of coal which he had split to show leaves and stems within. He said the geologists who studied these said that coal was the remains of old forests and they could not estimate the age but it must be millions of years. This caused quite a stir as Megson started ranting that God created the earth and the heavens some two thousand years or so before Christ was born and so the coal seams were laid down then. He believed everything was created in seven days as it was written in Genesis. Even Mr Ridley was constrained to say that perhaps a day in God's span of time was not the day we knew. This caused more bother as Megson almost accused Mr Ridley of not believing that the Bible was the Word of God as all clergymen should. There was quite a rumpus as people realised that, perhaps, everything we had heard and had been taught was up for argument.

This argument was started again a couple of weeks later when Preston brought in some fossils, as he called them, of strange shapes which he said were creatures which had lived many, many years ago. He told of even stranger things which had been found in Dorset by a young lady named Mary Anning and others could be found in the cliffs on the Isle of Wight and he been there with his brother to dig them out. He said that eminent men had suggested these were the remains of creatures which had long since died out, even before the story of Noah's Ark. Poor Megson was beside himself and said that Noah's Ark was not just a story and appealed to Mr Ridley to give a ruling that such things could not exist before the Bible said.

Mr Ridley explained quite clearly that the Old Testament was a collection of books from ancient Hebrew times and he knew from his study of the Hebrew language that the early books were written in different styles and suggested a number of hands had been involved in setting them down and perhaps Megson might study that language as well. Megson was still insistent this did not mean that it was not the Word of God. Mr Ridley smiled and said perhaps it was not the complete Word of God.

I really enjoyed these classes as they made me think. We also discussed those things I had mentioned when we considered the proposition that 'All men are equal'. Even in our group there were differences in opinion; whether slavery was right or wrong; whether there were deserving and undeserving poor; whether we were born in a particular station to serve, to be served, or to rule. I didn't mention Robin but said that I had tried to find good in all those people I had met and wondered why to whom you were born made some think they were better than others. I think I got some accusing looks over this and realised I must be careful as I heard one lad say something about some people being the cause of revolutions like they had had in France. Mr Ridley looked up sharply having heard that but said nothing.

Another day Bayes made us think hard when he talked about mathematics. Even at his age he had a grasp of higher mathematics which none of us had, or even could attain, I thought. He showed quite simply that there were other geometries than those of Euclid. He brought in a football blown up into its spherical shape and drew a triangle on it. At least it was a three-sided figure but we could see that the angles could not add up to one hundred and eighty degrees. Even Megson was heard to wonder if there were other ways of thinking about things and that, perhaps, there were not immutable facts. My poor brain was being worked and I had to ask all sorts of questions, as well as checking my Latin dictionary to find 'immutabilis' meant 'unchangeable'.

I made other friends. Simpson, who had sung so bravely and been applauded greatly, turned out to be very hard working and, like me, made great progress in his studies. He joined the choir and sang at all the evening gatherings we had. He was also a good chess player which pleased Theo who said he had lacked good opposition. I also found out why he was sent to school. His Grandfather was a retired General and thought it was namby-pamby of Simpson's mother to have the boy tutored by governesses at home. Simpson did a good imitation of his grandfather thundering "What the boy needs is a good beating with the rest of them like I had!" His mother had kept him at home mainly for company as his father was serving with the 11th Hussars in India and was frightened that he might not return after what had happened to the soldiers in Afghanistan. He said he had had a younger sister but she had died of a fever five years ago and this had made his mother even more upset but now his mother had gone to live with Grandfather and things were better.

The Johnson twins and Pedersen were a delight. We shared many a visit to Mr Williams the baker's shop for a bun or gingerbread. I was able to practice my French and the twins said I should brave La Manche and visit them in Paris. Of course, George heard me one day talking to them and I had more things to explain to him especially that the boys were in awe of his prowess as a runner and football player and called him Monsieur Coeur de Lion because of his tawny locks, which he refused to have cut, and his bravery in tackling his opponents.

Both he and Theo were great companions. I might be two years younger but they both treated me like a brother and an equal. I was swatted regularly by George for forgetting to fill the coal scuttle or get chopped wood from the store by the wash-room. I was taught how to brew tea properly, hot and strong and not weak and lady-like and became quite good at judging when the sausages or the toast were done and not burnt. My smoked hams disappeared down hungry throats so by half-term I joined in the purchase of the extra goods and my store of coins was getting depleted especially as we all liked a beaker of hot chocolate when we had our evening discussions.

I made sure that Robin also did not go wanting but he said he was more than content. As Shem's father was the baker the youngsters in the stables always had extra sustenance to add to their dinners. Mrs Darlow was their cook and she mothered them all especially young Timmy as her sons and daughters had now all left home. Of course, Robin as Mr Darlow's scribe came in for many extras. He said he was able to make sure none of the suppliers cheated as he had found one who had made deliberate errors in his accounts before and had charged the school for feed for the horses which had not been delivered. He had more time to keep up with his studies because of this work but he also found time to help Timmy with his reading and writing. He said he found him a willing lad and good at his studying and knew a deal about plants especially herbs. He did say that he had to tell Timmy about growing boys as he was worried when things happened to him when he was asleep. I didn't enquire if he taught Timmy other things as he said that on cold nights they slept together in his bed to keep warm.

Things were changing for me, too. In the last few months I had begun to grow even more. Not only in height but my pizzle was now longer and thicker and my bush round its root was getting more abundant and very curly. My britches were tighter and I wrote to my Mother that both I and Robin would need some larger clothing quite soon as he was also now much taller and sturdier, too. Other things were just the same, or, perhaps, more urgent. I needed to release my seed regularly not only night and morning but I kept a washcloth ready on which I could catch those extra events usually after our luncheon, or when I was in the room of an afternoon before the others appeared. I did have opportunity to share with Robin a joint release three times when we rode out together. We stopped each time to view the landscape but found also a convenient stand of trees where we also had a stand and helped each other as we had done so many times before from when we found the heavenly delight which all boys enjoyed. Robin, too, had lengthened and was, perhaps, a little thicker than me but I did not comment as he would tease me and I had time still to grow. Both George and Theo were also in great need each night and George was no slouch in giving vent to his urgent needs in the mornings also if he had time before getting us to the privies before the others. That became a ritual and I was glad of it though Mr Pretyman's entreaties to have them cleared more often still fell on deaf ears. We also kept ourselves clean by making sure young Potts didn't need his arse smacked very often! We had the hottest water as we were always first!

One thing pleased both Theo and me. George no longer guzzled small beer or ale as if his throat had been cut and there was none getting to his stomach. Only once did I have the request for a further dose of Lancelot's Balm as I called it. But, I would have to ask my cousin for more of his magic liniment which was rubbed into aching limbs and joints by others to whom I dispensed it after football games and Chases. My box also came in useful when poor Maitland had a tooth loosened in a football game. A small dose of the poppy juice and a drop of clove oil helped that until the pain settled. I heard rumours that 'Dr' Browning could cure anything even if it was the pox caught from Randy Annie. I was never asked for that type of cure even though Fortescue in the Sixth was said to have made merry for a shilling with her and suffered from soreness in the cods afterwards. As it was said he pleasured himself upwards of four times a day Maitland said he was not surprised and that his peg was probably in tatters as well like his father's old ram who could tup a whole flock in a night.

As well as riding most days I also joined in the football games and we had two more Chases before the term ended. Once George and I were the Hares again but the second time I won the blue ribbon for being first in the second oldest group. I beat George by a hundred yards and he smacked my arse playfully for that. He said he was determined to go for the fox's brush the next year. There were also other things to savour.

On another morning just after we had returned from our ablutions we heard a clang and muffled shouting. Someone this time had used a bucket of water to awaken Arsewhipper Pullen as we then heard a second clang of it being thrown out into the courtyard and the oaths that followed it were loud and blasphemous. The unknown perpetrator was threatened with a multitude of torments, the most repeated being castration, as George said laughingly when the noise abated.

When we went down to go to breakfast Pullen was not around but we saw the bucket and had noted that his cubby-hole was empty and water was over the table and floor. I thought I noted a speck or two of blood on a piece of paper by the door. There was much discussion over breakfast but no one had been seen and all thought it a great jape.

George was full of the later happenings when we met up after luncheon. No usher was in Bartleby's form that morning but the assembled ruffians had been strangely quiet and not because Spendlove was reading from Vanity Fair and Old Bartleby was sitting back with his eyes closed. According to George it was because Black Jack had sat next to poor daft Henderson and had opened his fly and helped him to spend his seed copiously over the floor. In turn at least seven others had taken his place silently before Bartleby woke and then droned on about Julius Caesar or some other story from history and they had repeated the act on themselves. None of these were at all shamed by exposing themselves as they were all used to such things in their dormitories in Pratt's House, according to George, and threatened anyone not taking part with a beating if they as much moved. George did confess later that the sight of such rampant behaviour had made him very wanton. So, when Henderson was placed back on his bench there was a veritable sea of creaminess at his feet.

It was then that Pullen appeared with another bandage now tied round his head and in the most fierce temper. Poor Henderson's shufflings as he tried not to get his boots in the mess caught Pullen's attention. The big lad was dragged from his seat and beaten savagely across the back and buttocks until even Old Bartleby asked what was happening. George said Pullen couldn't say exactly what was evident but said Henderson had soiled on the floor but from his look knew others were also involved. He guessed from knowing looks the culprits and by the end of the morning at least four involved had received cuts for inattention or some other perceived misdemeanour.

That night George told us more of things which he had been told before by Henderson about happenings in Pratt's House. He said Henderson had told him he had been very proud that for his seventeenth birthday he been chosen to 'eat the biscuit' in his dormitory. This ceremony involved the 'birthday boy' having to lie naked on the floor with an Abernethy biscuit placed on his chest. Each dormitory member then had to stand beside him and spend his own seed hitting the biscuit. Any who could not, or did not, had then to help the one on the floor to his own conclusion. Henderson had proudly informed George that two out of the six others had missed the biscuit completely and had helped him so vigorously he had valiantly hit the biscuit himself. His only complaint was that the biscuit crumbled when he picked it up to place in his mouth. I think we were glad that George only produced a piece of gingerbread each for us after that tale was told, although he did say he thought my birthday was next.

My Robin was a good mentor for young Timmy. As George had said Timmy was a gentle lad with a sweet nature and had such a way with the horses that Mr Darlow would often ask him to be with a mount when it was sickened, or winded, or out of sorts. Mr Dimbleby's old Newton followed him without a rein whenever he took him to water at the trough. The horse loved to have his muzzle stroked and Timmy would talk to him quietly and the horse would neigh in reply. Robin said it was if the old beast was guarding him and often in the evening Robin said the boy would lie down and sleep a while in the stall while the horse lay beside him. He also took over the care of Black Jack's Tarquin as well and that horse obeyed his every command though he was wary of some of the other grooms.

I knew Robin missed our times together but that was to change. George was again for a trick. He said that as Robin was so like me perhaps he could even fool the masters and we could test this by him taking my place in a class. I was not too happy. What if our ruse was discovered? But George was insistent and Theo said he would help as we usually sat together at the end of the row. So, on a fateful Thursday morning at the end of term when Robin should have been dealing with Mr Darlow's accounts he joined us at the outhouse. He washed well losing any smell of horse then dressed in my clothes. He joined the others for breakfast and was not detected as the rest were too intent on their food and then went to Morning Service and sang lustily I was told. I stayed in our room and read and worried.

No need. Theo said Robin sat in class and was as attentive as me and did his construe and even asked two questions about the History they had after the morning break. Theo said Mr Martin did look keenly at him once when he said the answer to a calculation he had done was wrongly given on the sheet of answers. It was the last and most difficult and when Mr Martin asked why he had done the last one first Robin had said he always tried the last and hardest one so if he could do it he knew he had learned the method. Theo said he wondered if Mr Martin had spotted something as he was smiling as they left the classroom. I think Robin was pleased with his act and George plied him with toffee from Japhet's aunt's little shop, next door to her brother the baker's, saying he would plan other wheezes.

The class with Mr Ridley that Friday afternoon was very lively as Megson expounded on his knowledge of the chronology of the Old Testament. I think some were rather unkind when it came to ages of characters such as Methuselah. Buckingham said that very few in his village were over sixty-nine and certainly not nine hundred and sixty nine and Farquar said he was sure that it was rare that anyone reached even one hundred and Methuselah must have been very bent and wrinkled as their oldest inhabitant was eighty and could no longer walk. One of the others then said there must have been a good deal of guessing, as how would one know the real ages with all those lists of 'who begat whom'. Preston also had us laughing as he said poor old Mr Noah must have had a job with two of every living thing as his uncle had a collection of over two hundred types of stuffed birds and cabinets full of different beetles and butterflies but perhaps the butterflies and birds weren't taken on board as they could fly around outside. Someone else pointed out that the raven lived on board and I think it was at that point that Mr Ridley looked thankful that the clock struck five and the wheeled tray with tea and cakes was brought in.

However, as we finished and said our thanks and were leaving Mr Ridley beckoned me over and asked me to wait behind. I wondered if I had been rather forward as I had asked Megson what records had been consulted to know the ages as my Uncle Dodd had shown me our parish register which only started in 1538 and he'd said he had no idea of the people who lived in the parish before then except for the Varleys and others with monuments or brasses in the church. When all had gone and I was left there was a knock on the door and Master Theodore Davis, Master the Honourable George Lascelles and Master Robin Goodhew were announced by Barney and ushered in. I quaked. What would happen now? Our harmless prank had been found out. But was it a harmless prank?

When the three were lined up, all looking rather sheepish, Mr Ridley let out a great roar of laughter and motioned me to stand beside Robin.

"Well, well," he said pointing to Robin, "ex quod tempore Latine discis?" [Lat: And how long have you been learning Latin?]

"ante quatuor annos, magister," the young imp replied immediately. [About four years, Sir]

"poson chronon eisthe; " he asked. [Gr: How old are you?]

"tessarakaideka kyrie," was the prompt reply. [Fourteen, Sir]

"What is the square root of seven hundred and twenty nine?" was the next question.

"Twenty-seven, Sir," was the very speedy answer.

"En Francais, s'il vous plait."

"Vingt sept, Monsieur."

Mr Ridley pointed at all of us. "asside quaeso!" was the command.

Obediently we took four of the vacant chairs. He was barely suppressing laughter as he looked at us. "That was most interesting," he said and sat back in his chair. He linked his fingers and rested his chin as he surveyed us over the top of his spectacles. "Mr Martin expressed his suspicions at the evening meal that something was going on in his class yesterday and Mr Dimbleby suggested a reason."

He laughed and pointed at Robin who seemed by his relaxed posture to be taking all in his stride. I thought 'What has he to lose?'.

"Your remark that you always tried the hardest problem first as well as correcting his wrong answer gave him pause for thought. Even Master Tom Browning had not shown such confidence before. There was also something about the way you listened and looked at others in the class as if you were taking note for the first time. It was, wasn't it?"

"Sir," said Robin standing up, "I apologise and if anything is to happen I must take all the blame..."

"...What blame?" Mr Ridley said pointing down with his finger to tell Robin to sit again. "I would wager there are few young grooms who know their Latin, Greek and French and can calculate as you do and we must not allow it to rust and decay..." He pointed to Robin who was now grinning broadly and looked ready to speak.

"...I think you refer to St Matthew, Sir, 'where neither moth nor rust doth corrupt', but I have treasures which I cannot allow such things to happen...." he lapsed into silence.

Mr Ridley laughed again. "And we will not allow that to happen. Plans and stratagems must be assembled and made to work." He looked at me. "I want the whole story from you, first. It was Mr Dimbleby who thought the likeness he saw when he was at the stables was too close to be accidental."

I hadn't yet distinguished Mr Dimbleby from the numerous other masters but remembered an elderly looking man who was often in riding clothes and talking to Mr Darlow when I went to see or ride my Blaze and that was the name above Newton's stall.

The story had to be told again. Mr Ridley listened attentively and nodded when I finished by saying that I fully accepted Robin as my greatest friend and truly a dear close relative. Robin had looked on stoically as I exposed our family's not so hidden secret. His head was bowed as Mr Ridley started speaking again.

"I must say your brother Torquil was a fitful pupil here. He did his work when pressed...," I took that to mean he was no stranger to the usher's rod. "...but was always determined to be in the military. I had heard from your Uncle of his misplaced lustiness..." He smiled at Robin who looked up rather startled. "....but the results by my judgement are quite remarkable. We are not going to allow moths nor rust near those." He looked at Theo. "Davis, your father is a Governor so I shall need your assistance in bending his ear. I do not think it will be difficult." His chest was heaving. "My wife is much amused and will be a great help as two of her close relations are also Governors and will do as they are told, no doubt. And you...," he said, pointing at George, "...have a father who has been more than generous to the School in the past. I shall be writing to all those on the Board of Governors tonight."

We sat entranced at this. What was to happen? No threats of punishment?

"I must also write to your Uncle and get him to talk to Master Goodhew's parents. I think we shall find a place for Master Goodhew as a pupil of this School from next term."

We sat and goggled at this. Poor Robin burst into tears and I reached over and held his hand. Without bidding both Theo and George came over to him and knelt by him and placed their hands over his. I think we were all weeping tears of joy and, perhaps for some, of relief.

George whispered. "Robin, you are my friend as much as any other. My Father will make sure you are able to study with us. I have valued your help."

Mr Ridley heard that heartfelt sentiment. He also stood and came over with a piece of paper in his hand. "Master Lascelles, this is for you." He held the document out for George to take. "It is your promotion from the Remove to take effect immediately. You are to join Mr Prior's class on Monday. There is no need to take your place in Mr Bartleby's class in the morning. You can go riding with Master Browning and Master Goodhew while Master Davis writes to his father. Now all stand up and wipe your eyes as my wife wishes to see you now."

We were led to the parlour where Mrs Ridley was seated between two gentlemen. Mr Martin I knew, of course, and the other, the rather elderly man, I took to be Mr Dimbleby. All three were laughing and the parrot did not help. "Look at the pretty boys. Whip their arses!" the stupid bird cackled and hopped up and down on it's perch.

All, except Robin, had heard the bird before. He just looked startled, especially as no one took notice of the word used.

Mrs Ridley rang a little bell by her chair. A signal for more food and tea. Boys, having had a shock and the bird's threat which might have happened in other circumstances, were in great need of sustaining fare. Over the passing of plates and cups questions were asked and I was introduced to Mr Dimbleby. It was he who told us he had listened when Robin had sung FrŠre Jacques to quieten a rather fractious horse and had gone on to tell the beast that it was no use complaining 'c'est inutile de se plaindre' but to be quiet and calm 'restez vous tranquille et calme, mon petit'. As the horse was fully grown and big he had been much amused at Robin's sentiment.

Mr Martin said he would have to work twice as hard at doing the calculations he set us and said that Bayes had looked puzzled as he had started with the easiest when Robin had made his remarks.

Two others then joined us. Maitland and his room-mate Branscombe. They were told the tale and Maitland said he thought we did look alike but he had dismissed it as coincidence. They were there as Mr Ridley said he had decided whatever happened Robin should be admitted as a pupil and would Maitland and Branscombe have him as their fag as they had none and had said they would shift for themselves. They looked at each other and then broke into grins and nodded at each other.

"As long as he is tidy and does not snore and he can put up with us, we accept," said Maitland.

Mr Dimbleby invited us all to tea on Sunday after the afternoon service to meet his wife and as we broke up to make our way back to our rooms he stopped Robin and said quietly. "I predict you have a great and useful future. Do not let this opportunity pass."

"Sir, I cannot and I will not," he said, "I must succeed and I shall make every effort. I owe that to my friends and to my family."

We took Robin to the wash house first. There was still some hot water left by the few who had washed after football. The five of us ceremoniously bathed him amidst laughter, soapsuds, splashed water, flicked wash cloths and the display of the most substantial young hardness as he stood in the tub. "If you are to have tea with Mrs Dimbleby you must be as sweet and clean as a young maiden," said George and then laughed and pointed at the sturdy pole, "Which I am certain you are not!"

Tea on Sunday was a splendid affair. We collected Maitland and Branscombe from their room and Robin was at the foot of the stairs looking most neat and tidy with a new cap and a colourful pheasant's feather tucked into the band. Mrs Dimbleby was a most cheerful, short and rather stout lady who welcomed us with smiles. Robin was hugged and kissed and blushed much to our amusement and we were ushered into the parlour where two maids brought in plates and plates of goodies. "Boys are hungry creatures," said Mrs Dimbleby, "And I should know as I have had three of them."

"Mother! And you still have them and feed us well when we visit!"

A young man had entered the room and he was introduced as their youngest son, Doctor Robert Dimbleby, a physician who lived in the next village and also acted as the School's doctor when needed. It was all talk and chat and I felt a bit embarrassed when George announced I was his personal physician having soothed his injured limbs and calmed his aching insides. I had to confess to having my cousin's remedies at hand and Dr Dimbleby said I had the makings of a physician when he questioned me on my knowledge. He said I might care to see some of his patients when he had to visit the School and its sickroom.

We were introduced also to the pet raven, Ptolemy, who demonstrated his counting by flicking small counters when cards were placed in front of it with two, three or four lines drawn on them and when it was correct it was given a crumb of cake. Robin asked if the bird could still do it if the cards were horizontal instead of vertical. Mr Dimbleby said he did not know and gave the bird the one with three lines as a test. Poor Ptolemy bobbed up and down but did the task correctly after cawing and fidgeting. "You have the makings of an enquiring scientist," Mr Dimbleby said, then showed us some magic tricks with coins and cards which had us wondering how coins could appear so suddenly from boys' coat lapels or from their cuffs.

George had two silver sixpences drawn from behind his ears and Theo said they had probably been stuck there from when he was a baby by all the dirt he had accumulated over the years from playing in the mud and from football games. He was silenced when Mr Dimbleby asked him to open his mouth and drew out a silver shilling and said he must have a silver tongue and should become a politician.

But then our tongues could not keep such a heavy secret as Robin's future. There was much speculation even by Monday evening with just one week of term to go. Bayes was much amused and said he would have to look to his laurels. Collett was not so amused. "A bloody groom...," he started until Gordon grabbed him by the arm and told him firmly that in Scotland it did not matter the class or station of a boy. If clever he was taken to be educated and that was that. He said their own minister was a crofter's son who had been to Edinburgh University and was now a Doctor of Divinity.

The others in the stables were also much amused. Robin had been accepted there and Mr Darlow said he was sorry to lose his valued scribe. Robin promised not to forget such a duty and he would take on the task as an extra because of the friendships he had made. Timmy was the one who was truly upset. His friend and mentor would be gone. Jack the farrier's lad said he would look after Timmy whatever happened and he would willingly share his room by the forge with him and he would take him to the village as his mother had said what a good boy he was.

I had written home that Sunday to my mother, to Uncle Dodd and Aunt Matty, to my brothers Torquil and Terence, and to Mr and Mrs Goodhew to tell them all what had happened. Mr Pretyman smiled as he took my bundle of letters and my payment and said he would be writing to Bishop Davis himself as well as two of the other Governors.

Then on Tuesday afternoon, as Mr Martin had another Confirmation Class to take, our form was dismissed early. George was in our room working diligently as Mr Prior had given him some pages of calculations to do to test his ability. I said I was tired so George said I should lay on their bed and keep quiet so as not to disturb him. He wrinkled his nose at me as he said that and I said I would look over his work afterwards to see if it had been done properly. I received a sharp slap for that as I climbed onto the bed. I said I expected I had a handprint as red as the one on Black Jack's arse after Tarquin had kicked him. We both laughed at the thought of that but I had not been resting long, with the hangings drawn against the light, when our door was opened suddenly without a knock and a harsh voice called out.

"Well Cousin George, I hear you have two young scullions now to bend down to satisfy your needs! Hnnh! A soldier's by-blow and that horse-trader's son! My, my, you are mixing well below your station!" There was a mirthless laugh. I stayed still. It was Black Jack. "But enough of that. I will have two sovereigns from you." The laugh came again. "My needs are different from yours at the moment. I have great things planned for Friday and I must have more funds."

To be continued: