Hey friends!
Just a little Christmas story for all you guys here. Its a very special time in our lives, to celebrate the festive season with our loved ones. Since I haven't seen my family in almost 5 years since my dad kicked me out for being gay, I have found a new family in my Nifty friends and readers. I love you all.
This story is for you, and I really hope that you enjoy it, as it comes from the heart. Please make a little donation to this wonderful archive, so that it will keep giving us even more pleasure than it already does.
If u wanna chat to me, talk to me about the story or shit like that, feel free to mail me on ryanstories@yahoo.com Im proud to say that I always reply to all my emails!
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Luv, Ryan
Together for Christmas
Always when it got to this time of the year, i always felt like committing suicide. I hated Christmas. Plain and simple as that. I didn't know why the precious fuck I had to be punished like I was. Maybe it was the fact that I was gay, and in the Great Book it clearly states that it was one of the biggest 'sins' in the world. So I knew I had to take whatever was coming my way, as it was my punishment for being a homosexual teenager. My name is Parker Cartwright, and I live in Bloemfontein, South Africa, and Im 17 years old. The year 2008 nearly caused my death at my own hand. Thank God that he refused to give me the strength to go through it. That's all I can say.
Since I turned 14 years old, my parents saw it fit to place me in Grey Kollege School for Boys. It is a live-in educational highschool which boasts to have a 100% pass rate over the past 60 years. You had to be pretty clever and in the first place to even be accepted in this institution. Needless to say that I had to bring home good results each and every semester, taking its toll on me and the other students. The only good thing about this entire shit, fucked up school, was the new friends that I made, some snobbish, rich motherfuckers, but there was one, my roomie, that just made me feel warm and fuzzy inside the moment that I met him. Ever since I was 12 years of age, I felt that I was different. Myself and my friends would go out playing games at the arcade, or bowling, or ice skating or some shit like that, and they would forever speak about girls that they would wanna fuck, or who had the biggest tits, or whether girls in our class's pussies was hairy or shaved. That, as a matter of fact, made me wanna fucking throw up in my mouth! Why, i didn't know! I went to bed at night wondering why they couldn't stop talking about it, and why I couldn't wait for them to stop. Fast forward a year, and I was faced with one of the biggest challenges ever in my life. My best friend, Kyle Masterson, asked me if I'd wanna go to a make out party. I knew exactly what would be going on there, BUT...I had by this time already knew that I was most probably gay. I would do almost ANYTHING not to be labelled as a faggot, and so far I had managed to get away with not having a girlfriend by using my snobbish parents as a reason, you know the usual "scared that she would get irritated with my mom's high language, my father's fucked up sence of humor" etc. But I knew I had to do this. There was no other option. Well, this is a gay archive, so I wont bother you with the details, but I was given the choice of fucking my first girl at the tender age of 13 that night. She was 15 years old and also still a virgin, and since I had a rather big cock for a 13 year old boy, she could hardly wait to have it in her. It was then that I, for the first actual time realised that I didn't want to do this. Now if this was Kyle begging his sexy ass off to fuck him, I'd do it in a heartbeat, but this...my erection going limp told me the entire story and I ran out of there as quick as I could. I always thought that "one day" i'd get over this...but I was given this chance and I blew it. Kyle and me were never friends again. The whole story started that I was gay, and although I denied it, it was clear that to everyone that was at the party that night. Another year of fucked up treatment passed before I was shipped off to Grey Kollege. Like I stated above, the moment that I saw my roommate, I knew this had to be what "love at first sight" was all about. His name was Gareth Westwood, and, like me, he was 14 years of age. I can remember that afternoon so fucking clearly, I was opening the door to the room that we would both share, and he was standing with his well muscled teenage back towards me, and was busy toweling off his hair. He noticed me as I opened the door.
"Hey bro! Let me guess, you must be Parker, right?" he said with his energetic boyish voice.
"Yeah dude, you're right, Im Parker. Im guessing then you are Gareth Westwood?"
"Fuck yeah, I am! Come on in, roomie! I had arrived last night, so im all unpacked and shit. I'll go grab us something to eat, while you get settled in."
Good God, he was so freakin nice and sweet. Just like a 14 year old boy could be. I sighed as I heard the door close behind me. Great...just great! How was I going to keep my secret that I was different than all the other boys? I started to unpack my things, as I started to sweat on how I was gonna cope with that sexy boy around me twenty-four seven? When he came back, I was all unpacked and ready for the coming semester, and it was just aswell that I decided to wear jeans that day, because I was instantly rock hard. How the fuck could I not be? Blond, spiky hair, white t-shirt and baggy sports pants. He had a blue band hanging around his wrist, a sliver chain around his neck and you could see that he spend a lot of time in the sun. He carried a bag of McDonalds in his hands.
"Hey dude! Thought you might be hungry, so I got us some food. Hope you like a Big Mac."
"Fuck me dude, thanks! Wow didn't expect this!" I solemly said, he seemed genuinely nice and so friendly towards me.
"Nah, that's just me im afraid. Love me or leave me!"
Yeah right. With the next couple of weeks, my sexual attraction to Gareth got so intence that I could not spend any time with him without visualising him naked and in bed with me. A couple of times he had caught me looking at him funny, or in some kind of lust, and it was getting more and more difficult to come up with excuses so I decided to just stay away from him as much a I could, which was damn hard, since we were roomies. During the first few weeks of our friendship, we used to play soccer, go and watch the Cheetahs play Rugby, eaten out numerous times and had really become good friends. For the I dont know how manieth time, when he asked me if I wanted to go with them to a party, to which the entire Grey Kollege was going to, and I said no. It was then, that he seemed to snap.
"Okay, what the fuck ever! I don't know what the hell I did to make you this angry at me!" he screamed and slammed the door behind him. I threw myself on my bed and started to cry my heart out. I had fallen so much in love with Gareth, and it hurt like hell that I could never have him. My tears made the pillow soppy as I started to slam the bed over and over with my fists. Somehow between my sobs I heard the door open once more and suddenly I felt strong arms around me.
"Parker, dude what the hell is going on! Fuck man, you're gonna tell me right here, right now what's your problem with me. I aint going anywhere."
He sat beside me with his arms still around me. My tears were still flowing freely out of my eyes, but how could he know that his touch was breaking my heart? I wiped my tears away angrily and decided to finally tell him. I could not keep this a secret any longer. This was gonna destroy me, it was too much for a 14 year old boy to deal with.
"Dude, I'm not gonna go away. Parker, you have become one of my best friends. We have had some great and cool times, what the fuck changed? Lately it seems you dont want anything to do with me, and I can figure out the fuck why!" he pleaded, and I could swear that I heard his voice break. I turned towards Gareth and...why the fuck was he crying? He tried as hard as he could, but he couldnt hold his tears back. I lurged myself at Gareth and hugged him, and I was shit surprised when I immediately felt his arms around me. I embraced him, pouring my love out to him, even not vocally. Finally, after a minute or so, I pulled away and I saw his face was just as wet I mine was.
"Please dont fuck up out friendship, Parker. You mean the world to me..." he whispered.
"So do you, buddy. I...I..." I just could not say it. The words just would not come out. Suddenly it looked like a light had just gotten on his eyes as he finally saw through my charade of all these months.
"Dude, no way..." he whispered once more, looking deep into my eyes, looking for a answer. Even at our young age, we werent that naive to believe everything, but this was real. What he saw in my eyes was the love that I had for him.
"Im sorry, Gareth. I didnt go looking for this, I'll change rooms, I'll stay away from you, but please dont..."
I was silenced by an earth shattering kiss, and I felt my cheek being cupped and caressed by his left hand. He gently moved his hand into my hair, all while still kissing me. He broke away from it, totally out of breath and looked deep into my eyes.
"Why...why the fuck didn't you say anything! You stupid fucker, I thought that I was gonna have to move because I was so in love with you, that I couldn't stand it any longer!" he scolded me.
"What guy in his right mind would admit being in love with his roommate? Fuck Gareth, this wasn't easy for me!" I hissed at him, trying to keep my voice down to a minimum.
"You total idiot! I fell for you that first day you walked in here! Fuck, Parker, why didn't one of us realise how the other felt? We would have spared eachother so much fucking pain! You realise how many nights I would wake up and then simply stare at you while you were sleeping?"
"Okay dude, I felt the same way about you, but that's just creepy!" I said, a little disturbed by that revelation, but also way turned on that he would do that.
"Hey, I didn't tell you to be so fucking beautiful!" he smiled slyly and pulled me towards him.
"Shit Gareth, its fucking wonderful and crazy to be in your arms...I used to dream about this...me and you together like this," I said, while resting my head on his young chest.
"Tell me about it. When you started avoiding me, I thought that maybe you had caught on that I was in love with you. That's why I couldn't stand it anymore tonight. Gay or straight, I wanted an answer from you."
For a minute or so, nothing was said, as we just layed down in my bed and enjoyed the closeness of our arms around eachother. Two fourteen year old boys, who had fallen inlove with eachother. I lifted my head off his chest, startling him. I leaned over so that my face was directly over his.
"I think...I think I love you, Gareth." This face lighted up like I had never seen it before.
"I love you too, Parker. So fucking much..." he whispered as he leaned up to kiss me again. I opened my mouth to allow his entrance as our tongues danced the waltz of pure young love. I once more rested my head on his chest, and for the first time in my life, I felt assured, that everything would be alright. I must have felt asleep after feeling him kiss the top of my head, once more whispering that he loved me. The next morning, I was afraid that I had dreamt it all, or worse, that it was real, but that he regretted it. No fucking way! Gareth surprised me with breakfast in bed, of all things! I was still wiping the sleep out of my eyes, when he barged in the door, with two big breakfasts from McDonalds.
"Gareth, really dude, im gonna lose my four pack if you go on like this," I said smiling while once more admiring his boyish good looks.
"This? Fuck dude, this is nothing! You must come and spend the holidays at my house, on the farm, then I'll show you something you will never see anywhere else."
"I can see a cock anywhere I want to," I teased.
"Not that!! Jeez, you're such a Jim Carrey sometimes. Get out of bed and eat your breakfast."
I got out, walked over to the basin to brush my teeth. I was halfway done, when I felt his muscular arms circling my waist.
"I haven't given you your good morning kiss yet..." he said and kissed the side of my neck. Good thing i had toothpaste in my moan, one could have heard my groaning all the way down the hall. I finished up and pushed him against the bathroom wall, kissing the living crap out of him, running my fingers over his hair, his gel having gone soft. He took off my t-shirt, and broke away from the kiss, breathing heavily.
"Parker, I know were only 14...but do you wanna do something with me?"
He didnt even have to ask.
"Yeah buddy...more than anything in my entire life!"
Gareth nervously broke the ice, kissing me again quickly before starting his journey down my still developing chest. In an instant were both naked and dripping hard. Gareth took a deep breath, and took my hand, dragging my onto his bed, so that I layed on top of him. I gently leaned my head down and started to kiss the love of my young life once more. Our naked cock were rubbing and grinding against eachother, causing us both to have mutual elations of emotions running through the other. I started to hump my cock against his stel hard body harder, faster, quicker, while I could feel he was doing the same. Gareth was moaning so loud, I had to kiss him to shut him up. I could feel that I was getting close to cumming and started to hump Gareth in earnest. He took my head in his hands and whispered in my ear: "Cum for me."
That was it, i gave a final grind against his rock hard abs as my cock poured out my fourteen year old teenage sperm, making it splash against his abdomen. Gareth was not far behind as he sat up in the bed, pulling me towards him, so that I ended up with my ass against his cock. It only took a few seconds of Gareth humping his stiff cock against my hole until he too spurted his boy cum onto my ass, grabbing my face and passionately kissing me until my lips actually burned of the friction.
"Fuck, i really, really love you," Gareth whispered, his voice horse, in his own boyish sort of way.
"I feel the same, dude. I love you too," was all that I could croak out. All too soon the Christmas holidays were upon us, and we agreed that he would come and spend a week with me, and then I would travel back with them, to spend a week at their farm. We were just two young boys who had fallen inlove, and there was nothing anyone could do to stop it. Gareth and me had a very long talk about how to react and what to reveal infront of our parents. His mom and dad was strict Catholics, and would never allow their son to by gay, whereas my mom would maybe understand, but never my dad. We knew that he had to keep our secret, or force never seeing eachother again. As my dad phoned me to tell me that he was outside to come and take me home, I turned towards Gareth, and just like that first night, where we had came out to eachother, I started to cry. Gareth immediately grabbed and held my face between his hands.
"Dude, don't be sad. Its just a week until we will see eachother again! Remember? I'll be on my way to you before you know it! But I gotta spend Christmas with my parents. I love you, Parker. That's never gonna change."
I embraced him with all the love that I could possibly transfer to him. If this was what love felt like, than I could live this way forever. He gently broke away and kissed my forehead, before placing his hand over where my heart was supposed to be.
"I love you, Gareth," I managed to say before grabbing by bag and storming out before I was really in tears. I could not allow Dad to see me that way. The entire week that I was back home seemed like an eternity. Christmas came and gone, I had gotten some kick ass presents, including a brandnew Nintendo Wii, which I left untouched. I wanted Gareth to be with me so that we could play it together. Pathetic I know, but remember i was only 14 then. On the 27th of December, the day that Gareth was suppose to arrive, with his mom bringing him over, it felt like my heart was sinking. I was thinking how was I gonna fool dad into believing that Gareth and I were just friends. Would I be able to keep my hands off him? Especially when his blonde hair was spiked straight up...FUCK!! They were taking forever! Suddenly I heard the phone ring, and I heard Dad answer it. I ran out to the front door, looking out into the hot South African summer if there was any sign of Gareth and his mom, and yet still nothing.
"Parker!" my father called out to me. I raced inside. Like a shot I knew that something was wrong.
"Dad, what is it?" I asked, the tears already starting to well up in my eyes, as if telepathically knowing that it was bad news.
"Uhm...son...that was Gareth's dad on the phone. Parker, I don't know how to say this...there was a terrible accident. Apparantly the car in which Gareth and his mom was driving in, crashed into a large beer truck. There was a explosion, Parker. The paramedics identified the burned remains of a woman and a young boy..."
I didnt need to listen any further. There wasn't any need to. Like a bullet from a gun, Gareth was taken away from me and from this Earth. I slowly walked up to my bedroom, and quietly closed the door. The tears started falling before I made it to my bed. Gareth was gone. He was dead. The guy I loved more than life itself was dead.
That was the beginning of a downward spiral in my life, one that I look back on with not much fondness. I refused to go back to Grey Kollege. If I would have ever sat foot in our room there, I think I would have totally lost it. Turning 15 the next year, I spent it alone in my room all day, drinking the Klipdrift Brandy that I had stolen from my dad's cabinet. Anything to take the pain away. My parents decided to home school me, since I simply refused to go to school. They were at a loss to how to get through to me. They even tried sending me to a shrink, but I point blank refused to communicate with them. Neither of them knew just how hard Gareth's death had hit me. To them, we were just best friends. They never knew that he was the boy that I was inlove with. And that is why, my friends, I mentioned at the beginning of this chapter, that I hate Christmas. Because each and every year this time, I am confronted with what happened. It was my fault. If Gareth had never met me, he and his mom would not have been on their way over and would not have died.
But the worse was yet to come...and it had all to do when my dad had found out I was gay a year later...
Thanks for reading the first chapter in this two part Christmas mini-series. The final chapter should be up on Christmas morning, so I really hope you guys like it. Please tell me what you think of the first chapter by sending a email to me at ryanstories@yahoo.com I will reply to every one I get. MERRY CHRISTMAS!!
Ryan White xxx