Author's note: Hi all this is Wes, first all I want to thank these people personally for sending me e-mail responses about this series: Tony author of When You Say Nothing At All, Melissa Turner, Rod Horsman, LanceFan2001@aol.com, Will Mandeville, quin_le_har, n.j.scott, NiteBoi78@aol.com,yuli author of Busta, Rune Therin, and obfuscate@kaltelnet.net. Thanks guys for your support. I also want to thank Dennis author of Christmas Wish. Now there are many very good stories on the archive. I can't list them all because if I did I would be up all night. Also readers response is important to us authors, it lets us know if we are doing something right or wrong. Just a small note saying I like your story or I hate your story is better than nothing. And if you have any suggestions then let us know. In this story who else do you guys want to see come out. What do you guys think I should do with Scott? Let me know. I'll go now so on with the story... But first.
Legal Stuff: If you are underage in your state or country to read sexually explicit material then you should not be here or if you have a problem with homosexuality then leaves as well. Also this is a pure fiction story, it is not to imply that any of the guys from NSYNC are bi or gay. (But we all can dream can't we). Also give NSYNC your support through their tough time. They are a good bunch of guys and they need the support of their fans. Well I'll shut up now so you can read the story.
Now contact info. I am on ICQ and my number is 63697324 and you can e-mail me at wesleym2@yahoo.com.
There are so many things a person wants to say but can't due to the fact they just don't know the words. So to say the words they need to say they find a song that says what he/she needs. But right now I could find a song to help me. I felt like I had betrayed Justin's love. How could he still love me? I hurt the one true love I have ever had. But he wasn't angry with me he was angry at him. Justin just tells me that it was Scott who forced himself on me and I did nothing wrong. If it wasn't my fault then why do I feel so dirty? Why? I was brought out of my thoughts as a flash of light and some yelling and scuffling started. Both me and Justin got up and saw Scott there in our room.
"Scott what the fuck are you doing up here and how did you get up here?" I yelled. Kevin and A.J. were holding him against the wall while Brian was trying to wrestle the camera from his hands.
"Oh I'm just getting even Wes." He said as he broke free of the guys and bolted out the door and on his way to the elevators. We got out the door and saw Scott being held at gun point by a security guard. I knew I needed to thank who ever called them. Brian walked up to him and took the camera and any film he had and anything else he may have had that could cause problems for the groups.
"What do you want me to do Mr. Cook?"
"Escort him out of the building and make sure he is not allowed back in at anytime for any reason" The guard nodded and did as he was told. I turned and everyone was out in the halls looking at what had just happened. I saw Justin at my door with a look of worry on his face. Some where there was a cd playing. I listened to it and the song Back To Your Heart came on.
It's not that I can't live with out you It's just that I don't even want to try Every night I dream about you Ever since the day we said goodbye If I wasn't such a fool Right now I'd be holding you There's nothin' that I wouldn't do Baby if I only knew
I had fresh tears running down my face. Justin say that and came to me. When he reached me I jerk away and backed up. But he just grabbed me.
"Wes there is nothing you did wrong if any one did anything wrong it was me." Justin looked into my eyes and began to sing the chorus.
The words to say The road to take To find a way back to your heart What can I do To get to you And find my way back to your heart.
As he sang I just cried. He held me so tight. I didn't care I didn't want to lose him. The BSB guys began to sing with the music and with Justin.
I don't know it got so crazy But I'll do anything to set things right `Cause your love is so amazing Baby you're the best thing in my life Let me prove my love is real And made you feel the way I feel I promise I would give the world If only you would tell me Wes
At that moment I lost all strength in my legs and both of us went to the ground. We were both crying but he was still singing. I could feel his hurt his pain. It was equal to mine because of what Scott did to me. I knew now that what Justin felt was that he was fault since he didn't protect me like he should. I looked around and everybody had tears in their eyes.
The words to say The road to take To find a way back to your heart What can I do To get to you And find my way back to your heart.
Justin just held me and I held him. We were on our knees in the middle of the hall. I placed my finger on Justin's lips and I sang the rest of the song to him.
Give me one more chance, to give my love to you `Cause no one on this earth loves you like I do, tell me
The words to say The road to take To find a way back to your heart What can I do To get to you And find my way back to your heart.
I turn back time To make you mine And find a way back to your heart I beg and plead Fall on my knees To find a way back to your heart
The words to say The road to take To find a way back to your heart What can I do To get to you And find my way back to your heart.
As the song ended I leaned in and gave Justin a kiss. We both got to our feet and all the guys rushed us and gave us a very big group hug. It was then I knew who my real family was and who my real friends are. We just stood there holding each other when some one's stomach started to growl. We all laughed at that. But poor Lance turned real red.
"Lance it's ok man your hungry, I think we all are." I said to him and he just smiled. "Okay where do you guys want to go?" That was a big mistake because every one wanted to go some where different. I giggled a little bit. Just then they all looked at me. Oh boy what did I do now. I turned and saw no one there. Then Kevin spoke up.
"Wes were would you like to go?" It was then I remembered a place I had been in many times back home and wanted to go again. I ran to my room and looked for the restaurant.
"Yes, there is one here."
"There is what here?" I heard A.J. say.
"An Ole Feed House, I used to go there once a week back home." I looked around and only Kevin, Brian and Lance knew what I was talking about. This was gonna be good. "Lance would you call them and get a private room reserved for us." He nodded and went to his room to make the call. I looked at A.J. and saw what he was wearing. He wore a see through mess shirt, yellow leather pants, and all of his chains and earrings and rings. "A.J. do you have anything like what I have on?"
"Why?"
"Well because you can't go like that. This place is like a country place and regular clothes are needed." He looked down at his appearance and back at me. He then smiled and headed off to his room to change.
Supper
The Ole Feed House was not very busy. The room we had reserved had windows but the windows had shades over them and no one could see in or out. I liked that. I chose a seat off to the corner where you couldn't see me unless you walked into the room Justin sat next to me and then the rest of the guys did the same.
"Okay this is how this works out in the main room there is a bar type set up with different foods. At the beginning of the line is the plates and stuff. You get a plate and what not and then go down the line getting what you want. Also you can go back as many times as you want. If you have any more questions then ask if not lets eat." I said as I got up with Justin following me. I grabbed a tray and a plate some silver ware and headed down the line. I got some chicken, fries, shrimp(fried), corn on the cob and some other stuff. The guys just got what they wanted. When I turned I saw several people looking in our direction with surprise on their faces. I knew they were shocked to see both NSYNC and BSB here. I headed for the room and sat my food down. I then waited on Justin who was still filling his plate. When he returned I gave him a kiss.
"What you want to drink babe?" I asked.
"How about Dr. Pepper?" I smiled at his remark. I turned and went to go get our drinks. While I was there the manager came to me.
"Excuse me but could you get the guys to sign this for me for the restaurant?" It was a poster of sorts it had a picture of the Ole Feed House and some writing about it. I took it and replied.
"Sure, I'll get this back to you." He smiled and went back to work. I took the poster and the two drinks to room. "Okay, the manager asked if you guys would sign this." I Handed it to Kevin and he signed it. He then passed it down. I waited till everyone signed it and then took it back to him. I returned and still no one had touched their food. "Why aren't you eating?" I giggled.
"Well we have to say grace." Brian said and I felt stupid.
"I'm sorry." I was now depressed but wouldn't let it show. I went and sat down and Brian said grace. When he was done everyone said amen. We all began to eat. I wasn't very hungry anymore. But I ate. Nick, Brian and Justin went for seconds and thirds which was fine. I was done. I waited for them to finish. Justin noticed I was a little pulled back. I could see it in his eyes. I just smiled and the looked away. Kevin noticed this to. He also knew what caused it. Brian's remark. I looked around the room and saw every one was done.
"Okay lets go." I said. I pulled out the credit card I had of the company and paid for the supper. It was a little over a hundred dollars. The limo was waiting on us and we got in and headed for the hotel. The whole time I looked out the window ignoring everybody. The limo puled behind the hotel and we got out. In a short time we were all heading to our rooms. I heard Kevin ask Brian to come to his room. I pulled out the keycard for our door and opened the door. Justin shut the door. I took off my coat and headed for the balcony. I went to the ledge and rested my hands on it. I looked out over the city and shed a tear. The stars were clear and bright. I felt a pair of arms hug my waist. I turned my head and saw Justin. I smiled and returned to the view I was watching. From inside I heard the cd player playing. I heard the intro to I Need You Tonight playing. And I let some more tears fall down my cheeks.
Open up your heart to me And say what's on your mind, oh yes I know that we have been through so much pain But I still need you in my life this time, and...
Justin held me in his arms. I was so close to him. I knew why he picked this song. He wanted to be in my heart and know what has hurt me so much. But I was afraid to open up. And that hurt me because I couldn't give him what he needs.
I need you tonight I need you right now I know deep within my heart It doesn't matter if it's wrong or right I really need you tonight
I figured out what to say to you But sometimes the words they, they come out so wrong, oh yes they do And I know in time that you will understand That what we have is so right this time, and...
I need you tonight I need you right now I know deep within my heart It doesn't matter if it's wrong or right
All those endless times we tried to make it last forever more And baby I know I need you I know deep within my heart It doesn't matter if it's wrong or right I really need you, oh
I need you tonight - I need you, oh I need you baby I need you right now - It's gotta be this, it's gotta be this I know deep within my heart No, it doesn't matter if it's wrong or it's right All I know is baby I really need you tonight
I listened to the song and as it ended I turned to Justin.
"I love you Justin." Was all I said. He pulled me close to him and held me tight. I moved and kissed him. I kissed him with all of my being. My heart was fluttering with love. Justin felt it because we were in our own little world. I felt Justin pick me up and carry me to the bed. He was still kissing me. He laid me down on the bed and broke the kiss. He then climbed up on me and kissed me again. I felt him gently unbutton my shirt. He got down to me pants where my shirt was tucked in and pulled it out. He then finished unbuttoning my shirt. I sat up and let him push it off of me.
"I love you Wes, forever." I pulled him into an embrace and then into a kiss. I was pulling on his jersey and he sat up and pulled it off. He then pulled off his wife beater. He leaned down and kissed me. I could feel his warm skin against mine. I rubbed his back. I could feel his muscles in his chest and back. Just went from my lips to my neck. Lightly kissing it. I gasp as he did. I was so hot for him. I reached down and undid his pants. I pushed them off along with his boxers. Justin let up long enough to remove mine. We were so turned on at that moment. Our love was glowing around us. He pulled back the covers and we under them. He was still on top of me. He slowly began to dry hump me. We were still kissing passionately as he did his movements. After a few moment both of us were covered in sweat. The heat of our bodies and the friction between them sent us to a new high. There were no words spoken. Until now.
"Just make love to me." I asked. He looked at me and saw that I was ready. I spread my legs and gave him the okay to go on. He positioned himself and began to enter me. There was no pain just absolute love and passion. Once he was all the way in he began to pull out then push in. He did this very slowly. He began to kiss my neck. I threw my head back with pleasure I didn't want to moan for fear of others hearing it. Slowly I began to feel a movement deep in my groin. I knew I was getting close.
"Just...I'm close..." he began to kiss my on the mouth. Just then we both began to shake. Our lips lock and we came. I came so hard I thought I was gonna pass out. We broke the kiss and he fell on me.
"I love you Wes."
"I love you too Just. How about we get a shower and then get some sleep?"
"That sounds good to me." So we got up. Justin got behind me and held me around the waist. I admit it was a little difficult but I didn't care. Once we were in the bath room I turned the water on and let it get just right. Then we got in and we washed each other. When we were clean we got out and dried off and went to bed nude. We both were tired and so we went to sleep very quickly.
Wes' Dream
I saw my self walking along the beach with Justin. We were very happy. But something wasn't right. Off in the distance there was a dark cloud coming our way. As it got closer I saw that it followed a man. It was Scott. What is doing here. But then the man changed into that of the man who shot me. He was pointing the gun at Justin. I pulled Justin behind me and I heard him fire.
End of Dream
"Ahhhhhh!!!!" I said as I shot straight up in bed. I looked over and Justin wasn't there. I looked around in the darkness. I couldn't see him. Where was he. I was scared. I got up and found a robe and put it on. "Justin" I whispered. I didn't get a response. I walked over to the balcony and there he was fast asleep. I smiled and got down beside him. I leaned over and kissed him. I moved back and his eye fluttered open.
"Babe, what are you doing up?"
"I had a night mare Just. And when I woke up you weren't there." I said as a tear fell.
"I'm sorry babe. How about you and me sit here and watch the sun rise?"
"I'd love to." I sat down in his lap at his insistence. We watched as the sun slowly and gracefully climbed into the dark foreboding sky. The horizon changed from a black to a lavender then to an orange and then blue. It was like seeing a new life emerging from death. We heard the birds beginning to sing and the traffic below was getting more busy. I turned and kissed Justin as the sun fully appeared in the sky. I got up and led him into the room and we laid back down. Holding each other. Today was going to be the most hectic day this week since the concert began at 7:00pm. And at 5:00 there was meet 'n greet. And at 12:00 p.m. was sound check and final rehearsals. But for the moment we were at peace laying in each others arms. That is until the freaking phone rang.
"Hello"
"This is you 7:00 wake up call thank you." The computer said.
"Ugh... I guess we had better get up." I said as I put the phone down. I turned over and kissed Justin and got up to get dressed before the guys got here for breakfast. And just as I finished putting my shoes on there was a knock at the door.
"Yes..."
"Room service..."
"Okay... I'll be there in a moment." I got up and walked to the door and looked out and sure enough there was the room service. There were several trays and carts. Each had different foods and drinks on them. I opened the door and they brought them in. I gave them a tip and they left. Then as soon as Justin finished dressing there was another knock at the door. I went to the door and I saw the guys waiting out there.
"Come on in guys."
"Wow Curly's up that is amazing." J.C. said.
"Well truth be told he was first up this morning. I woke up and then we watched the sun rise." I said leaving out the nightmare. I looked over at Brian and he seemed not as happy for some reason. In fact it seemed that he had some tears in his eyes. I sat my plate down and walked over to him. "Brian can we talk in your room alone please." He nodded yes and got up leaving his food. I gave a look to every one that we were not to be bother or else except to Justin. I gave him a loving look. As we walked down to Brian's room. Both of us were quiet. Once inside his room I began to speak. "Brian what's wrong buddy?"
"I'm sorry about yesterday Wes, I was out of line."
"Brian it's over and done yes it hurt the way you snapped at me but that wasn't what made me get quiet. Brian I have a lot of things happen to me in my life that isn't very nice, in fact those things almost cost me my life several times." I looked up into his eyes and saw fear and curiosity.
"What happened?"
"I... Well when I was about to turn five years old I was raped by my half-brother." I let a few tears fall. It was then I heard a knock at the door. I heard Justin's voice out there. Brian got up and opened the door and stepped out to speak with him.
"Justin I want you to know that I haven't done anything to him he began telling me about his past. He then started to cry, I think you should hear what he said first and then lets hear the rest of it." Justin nodded and Brian told him what I told Brian. Justin gasped and ran into the room and held me. Brian came in and just sat there. I calmed down and began to speak again.
"Well after that mom and dad just kind of let me be. Not really caring for me to closely. Then when I was about 10 my dad began to drink and beat me for no reason." I looked at them and they had tears streaming down their faces. I pushed on. "Then I lost my gramps to cancer. That just made dad more violent. I eventually moved out but that was after I was raped a second time. I never had anal penetration just forced to do things and all. That's when I moved out cause dad found out I was gay and had been raped. He didn't believe me about the rape because I was gay. I was only 16 when he kicked me out. I went and lived with an aunt and when old enough I left the state. That's when I met Scott..." I stopped there I had no will power to go further. Justin held onto me tighter.
"Wes no one will ever hurt you again. I promise you never again." Justin said. I leaned down and kissed him. Brian got up and hugged me. We all got up and straightened our faces and left the room to finish breakfast and leave for the stadium.
The Concert
There were several people there for the meet `n greet. And some were contest winners. Of course Scott was there. The guys acted cool with him, I stayed away from him. Everything was ready, the opening act was getting ready to go on stage and the guys were getting ready for their performance. I was excited. This was one of the biggest concerts ever. I had let Justin alone so he could get ready with make up and wardrobe. But when he was done I gave him a small kiss on his lips. NSYNC played hacky sack. Then the prayer. And then the stage manager called five minute warning for the BSB. They would go on first and then NSYNC would come up through the floor. The concert lasted about an hour and a half. The last song that was done was NSYNC and BSB singing God Must Have Spent.
"We would like to dedicate this last song to a very special person in our lives. You know who you are. This is for you." Justin said as the music began. That song with both groups singing it really touched me it was sooo beautiful. When the concert was over we had to get on the busses and head for our next destination. Which was Los Angeles. We weren't due there for a couple of days so we decided to take the bus. The guys all were tired. I was already on the bus when they got there. I waited till I saw Justin and when he got on the bus I grabbed him and pulled him to the back to kiss him.
"Thanks babe, for that dedication."
"Well he did spend a little more time on you babe." I kissed him again. We walked back up to the front and they had Mariah Carey singing on the cd player Thank God I Found You.
Thank God I Found You
I would give up everything Before I separate myself from you After so much suffering I've finally found the honest truth I was all by myself for the longest time So cold inside And the hurt from my heart It would not subside I felt like dying Until you saved my life
Chorus: Thank god I found you I was lost without you My every wish And every dream Somehow became reality With you But the sunlight completed my whole life I'm overwhelmed with gratitude Cause baby I'm so thankful I found you
I will give you everything There's nothing in this world I want but you To insure your happiness I'll cherish every part of you Cause without you beside me I can't survive If you're keeping me warm each and every night I'll be alright Cause I need you in my life
Thank god I found you I was lost without you My every wish And every dream Somehow became reality With you But the sunlight completed my whole life I'm overwhelmed with gratitude Cause baby I'm so thankful I found you
See I was So desolate before you came to me Looking back I guess it insures that we were destined to shine Over the rain To appreciate The gift of what we have And I'd go through it all over again To be able to feel this way
Thank god I found you I was lost without you My every wish And every dream Somehow became reality With you But the sunlight completed my whole life I'm overwhelmed with gratitude Cause baby I'm so thankful I found you
When the song ended I got up and took Justin by the hand and led him to our bunk so we could get some sleep and maybe have some fun before....
TBC
Hey all again I want to thank all of you who sent me an e-mail encouraging me to continue the series. Some of the events that took place in this story did really happen. I am learning the hard way that writing about them helps so from now on I am going to write this story and others not only for the readers but for me. It in a way is helping me let go of some demons that have haunted me for years. I would love to get responses from readers telling me how they like or dislike the story. I also have now gotten my first web page up and running. You can find it at www.geocities.com/lil_warrior_2000 it is for and about NSYNC. There is no porno on it just info and dates. If there is something you want me to post on it then let me by sending it to me at wesleym2@yahoo.com . Thanks for reading and good night for now.