teen2b slow)(61/56)
This is the fifth set of diary entries involving characters and events introduced in the series "To Fulfill a Prophesy". I strongly suggest reading the series before these entries to allow understanding of the characters and their relationship to each other.
TFAP Diary - 05 Thoughts, Notes & Quotes
Devon, Monday, August 22
"Thank you for seeing me today, Dale." Devon began. "I know you must be very busy with us all having arrived home just yesterday. The trip was more than I ever guessed it would be. It was so much fun and everyone was so terrific to me.
I can never thank you enough for allowing me the last three nights with Luis. It broke my heart when I had to wave goodbye to him at the airstrip. I missed him so much last night when I had to go home and go to bed alone. It seemed as if we had always been together and then last night we were suddenly apart for the first time ever. Luis says we are going to be together for good when he gets his citizenship and doesn't have to worry about what others think.
The first night we spent together I was actually frightened. I knew I wanted Luis, but I really had no idea what that was going to be like. He is so powerful and yet so very gentle. We turned out the lights, so only the light of the moon through the port hole illuminated our cabin. Sitting on the end of the bed, we kissed gently for a good half hour. I've kissed some girls before, but it never excited me like the touch of Luis' lips on mine. I was lost in his eyes. They are such a deep brown they looked almost black and I felt like I could fall into them and float. He is a beautiful man, but I think his eyes are his best feature.
We touched each other as we kissed and somehow during that half hour our clothes wound up on the floor. I am not really shy about being naked, but I seemed so small compared to the mass of his muscles. My body is well shaped and muscular, but there is no comparison when I am next to Luis. He is an athlete and the exercise he constantly receives makes his body solid and toned. Next to his golden, tanned skin I looked so very white and pale.
My hands moved over his body without me even thinking about what I was doing. This was good I guess because all I could think about was the sensations and thrill I felt as he stroked and touched different areas of my body. He is a couple inches taller than I am, but when we stretched out together, side by side, on the bed it made no difference at all. We lay on our sides facing each other and slid our hands over each other's body. He seemed to like stroking my butt and I was fascinated by his chest and the ridges on his abdomen.
The first time he touched my cock I nearly came. I had been hard for so long the pressure from his lightest grasp made my balls churn and move tight against the base of my cock. I warned him and he let go right away. He then did the most fantastic, surprising thing. He said we couldn't spend the night with me on the edge, pushed me flat on my back, bent over me and swallowed my cock. I've got a good six inches of fairly thick meat and he took it like a ten dollar hooker. I don't think he even had time to suck before I exploded. It was the hardest I've ever cum and he held it and drained me dry until I shrank down to regular size.
Well I wanted to do the same for him, so I reached over and carefully grasped his chubby and it felt a lot different to touch than mine does. It was just a little longer than mine and was as hard and stiff as skin and bone can get, but the top of it was inside the skin. When I looked, it was the first uncircumcised chubby I had ever seen up close. I told Luis and he said he realized they are not the most common thing in our country from the comments he gets in the locker room. As excited as he was and needing to get off as badly as I had, he gritted his teeth and let me check him out. Now that's love.
When I drew the skin down his cock, the head was about twice as big as mine and wet with precum. I put my mouth over the head and in a couple of seconds Luis was unloading. I've tasted my own cum before, but Luis' is really something, sweet and nutty in flavour. I had no problem at all swallowing it all down and then I licked his knob clean. He was so grateful and hugged me close to him. I reminded him that it was what he had done for me and asked him what the idea was of doing it so fast. He said, you told him to get it over with quickly the first time, if we were really hot and then we could settle down to enjoying ourselves without the worry of bursting. You were so right. We spent most of the night exploring each other, touching and caressing and feeling how much we belonged together. Through the night we each came three more times and my cock finally went soft and stayed that way for the first time since I met Luis.
Luis told me the memories you shared with him had made our nights complete. He is such a wonderful man and tender, considerate lover that I am no longer afraid of sharing myself with him completely. Kevin told me a few days ago that before we had intercourse, we should be carefully instructed. I wanted to ask today if you would do that for us ?"
Davey, Monday, August 22
I don't care what anyone says, there is nothing like coming home and climbing into your own bed. The only thing better than that is climbing into it with someone you love. I had the best of both last night with my own bed, plus Brian. We arrived home early enough yesterday so we had time to go over and visit with Brian's Mom. We took Gus and Len home at the same time. They deserved their own beds as well. Brian said my bed was his bed, so he was coming back to the `castle' with me.
The only down part of this whole past two weeks was getting home and finding Dad and Uncle Dean weren't there. I asked Dale while we were still on our trip where they had gone and he told me he didn't know. If he knew he would have put me off, rather than tell me a lie. Mr. Chen on the other hand put me off. When I asked him, he replied that it was not his job to keep track of where they went off to. He knows and for some reason is not telling.
Being home is nice. This is the first time I have actually realized I think of this place as home. I remember Jamie once telling me that in all the time he lived other places, he always thought of this as his home. I think Denny feels the same way and I wouldn't be surprised if Dale and Jason and Anson also do. I'm not sure about Kevin and I don't think Digger thinks of anywhere as home.
I get the impression Kevin has had a change in his original thinking about being adopted. I felt the flash of jealousy he experienced when Denny's and my adoption date was finalized. I also have felt the way his feelings have changed about Dad and how important Dad has become to him. I hope he is able to resolve his feelings and he is able to fully commit to our family, even if it is only for his own peace of mind. I know Denny and Jamie feel the same way about him as I do. He is our brother and no matter what, we love him.
Denny and Uncle Eric have certainly taken to each other. I can see why Denny is so drawn to him. At a distance it is hard to tell the difference between him and our Dad. It's when you get close that the real differences become clear. Their personalities are very different. Uncle Eric is very expressive about his feelings and what he thinks, where as Dad keeps those things to himself. I can feel that underneath, Uncle Eric is very uncertain about who he is and what his role in life will be. He wants desperately for Dad to love him and for them to be close and I am not sure without help he will be able to realize how very big Dad's feelings for him are. It's not like he's one of us kids and Dad can hug him and snuggle in bed with him. He is a grown man and Dad has to treat him as one.
There is a part missing in Uncle Eric. I know that part, because it is the same part which was missing in Denny and me. It is the part that gets filled by knowing someone loves you and that are important to someone. Dad has filled in that part of us and there has been lots of extra love from Uncle Dean and Dale and Jason and Anson and even Mr. Chen in his own way. Dad knows this is missing in his brother and I don't know how he is going to be able to fill it, but maybe he is not the only one who can do it. Ever since Uncle Eric arrived, Denny has been with him almost constantly. He has been providing the attention and care which will eventually fill in that missing part. In a way Denny is sharing all the love Dad has given him with Uncle Eric and helping to fill the empty space.
Friday is the day we are suppose to go to register in our new school. It is kind of exciting Jamie, Len and Kevin will be in the same school as I am. Tim says my reading and math have improved so much I shouldn't have any trouble doing the work in a grade 9 class. He will continue to help me for an hour after school each day and I have agreed to work with him for a couple hours on Sunday afternoons. Jamie is very smart and I would like to try to keep up to him in school. If being at school is anything like working with Tim, I will like it.
It's going to be really strange having an older brother at school. I really don't know what to expect. In the other schools I was at, older brothers usually ignored their younger brothers and sometimes even picked on them, but Kevin isn't like that. I hope he does not have trouble with the other guys in grade 11 if he is not mean to us. We might have to let him beat us up a little, so he can make some friends his own age. I just realized that the difference between Kevin and Jaime or Len is that we are not friends. We like each other, but our relationship is in being Guardians and brothers, not in being friends. It's the same between him and the others. Maybe he has never needed us as friends, because he has Tim. But I have Brian and I still like having Jamie and Len as friends. I should try harder to be a friend to Kevin and then maybe he would feel better about being adopted into our family.
Ted, Tuesday, August 23
"It's going really well." Dean noted. "I didn't think we'd make this much progress in this amount of time, in fact I didn't think this would last long enough to get nearly this far."
"I almost wish it hadn't" I replied. "You know, three months ago if someone had told me I would miss our boys so much after less than a week, I'd have told them they were crazy. I can't wait to get home and see them."
"I know what you mean." Dean agreed. "It's not just Jamie. I want to see all of them. I keep thinking about getting there and Denny giving me one of his big hugs."
"Me too." I sighed. "I wonder how Kevin has made out looking after everyone."
"He'll be just fine." Dean assured me. "The experience will be encouraging for him and Chen, Dale and Tim will not let him get into anything he can't handle. I really didn't want to leave when we did, but there really wasn't any choice."
"Yes, this could have come about at a better time," I said, "but with what's at stake, it has to take priority over everything else. That not withstanding, I'm giving notice now. I'm going to be with the boys on Friday when they enroll in school, no excuses"
"I agree." Dean vowed. "I will inform the President tomorrow that we are headed home Thursday night, no matter what. Now, how about we show each other again how much in love we are before we go to sleep."
Wednesday, August 24
Notes from Security Staff Meeting. 13:00 hours. Security Manager's Office - Castle Attending: Cpt. Dale Savage, Lt. Jason Lawrence, Shihan Chen, Lt. Anson Tyler, Lt. Digger Bailey,
Sgt. Brian Taylor, Kevin Thompson (Tanner), Tim Wright.
Item 1 The recent incident aboard the `Southern Belle' has caused some concern. To enhance security one of the cabins is to be converted to a security office and a series of cameras and motion sensors are to be installed to monitor activity aboard, primarily during the night.
Item 2 Shihan Chen reports that during our absence the other Sensei have continued Dojo for remaining staff and all has progressed well. A testing session will be held in early October to monitor progress and allow advancement. Shihan Chen has made a special note on the progress of the four boys. Davey has shown outstanding progress and is expected to advance at least three levels. The others should progress at least two levels.
Item 3 The main part of this meeting was taken up in reviewing arrangements for the boys to attend school. A liaison with the Board of Education was established some time ago when the prospect of entry to the Public School system was first discussed. The Board and the school officials recognize the security problems of having children of wealthy citizens attending their facilities and are willing to co-operate fully in order to make the situation workable. They understand Mr. McAdam's insistence for no special treatment of the boys as individuals, coupled with their overall need for protection. To those ends the following arrangements have been made: - each boy will carry a "panic button" and be instructed to press it at the first sign of any trouble. - panic signals will be instantly mapped in the school security office and responded to.. - the boys will be chauffeured to and from school each day with two security staff members. - one security staff member will remain at each school as part of the school's security staff. - primary responsibility of that member will be our boys' safety. - Tim Wright has been accepted at each school as an accredited teaching staff member. - he will alternate between schools as may be required, either as fill-in, or classroom assisting. - co-operation we have received from Principals and Security Directors has been excellent. It should be noted that the schools are anxious to have our boys as students. They recognize the advantage of having financially secure parents with sons as alumni for both current and future support. The junior school has a population of about 550 children and the high school has about 1400.
Eric, Wednesday, August 24
"Has there been any message from your Dad yet as to when he will be back ?" I asked.
"Not yet, Uncle Eric." Denny responded. He was sprawled out on the bed in the suite I had been given. It was a really nice, large room which Denny informed me is next to the suite Jamie's mother uses when she visits. "If Dad doesn't get back by Friday, will you come with us when we go to register for school ?"
"I hope he'll be here before then, Denny," I answered, "but if he's not, I'd be happy to go with you." I was putting away some of the items from my suitcases as we talked. Denny was helping me, mostly by watching. I was a little disappointed I had spent no time at all with Ted since I had found him, but this sudden trip with Dean seemed to have been vitally important and totally unexpected by everyone.
"Denny, tell me how you and Davey came to be adopted by my brother." I said. I was really no way near prepared for the story which followed. Denny told me about his growing up with an alcoholic mother and the long line of men she had paraded through his life. I understood without his detailing it the neglect and abuse he had suffered and I found myself shaken when he told me about the molestation and rape attempt perpetrated on him by her last boyfriend.
He told me about finding Davey and the life and abuse this older boy and suffered, about the beating he had survived before Dean interceded and about Ted's role in his care and recovery. I heard how Dale and Jason had spirited Denny away from his life under the bridge and how wonderful he now found life to be. His zest and enthusiasm was infectious and I found he would not let my mind dwell on the sorrow and pain they had encountered, but only celebrate with him the joy he now felt. I gained a new insight into my brother and Dean's compassion and caring.
I had already seen the love and caring in this place. More in one day than I had encountered in many years. I had even felt pangs of jealousy for the lives these boys lead until I heard Denny's stories and realized how my petty complaints paled in comparison to what each of them had endured in their still short life spans. I was truly humbled and for the first time really appreciated the love and friendship this small lad had wrapped me in since the first time we met.
"Thank you for sharing your story with me, Denny." I said with heartfelt sincerity.
"That's okay, Uncle Eric." he responded. "I will tell you whatever you are ready to know. Will you tell me about growing up with my Dad ?"
"I can't tell you a whole lot, Denny. Your Dad is 12 years older than I am. When our parents died, there were six of us left. We all started out living with our oldest brother, Jacob and his wife, Tania, who were each 20 year old. Next was Ted, your Dad, and he was 16. Our eldest sister, Charlotte was 13 and Susan was 10. I was next in line at age 4 and then there was Amy, the youngest, who was 2 years old. I remember your father looked after me most of the time until he left home. He was only 18 then and I was just 6, but I always remembered how good he had been to me and how well he had looked after me."
"Did you keep living with Jacob and his wife when Dad left ?" Denny asked.
"Yes. We all lived with Jacob and Tania until we were old enough to get away. Charlotte married when she was 17 and left, then Susan ran off at 16. She came back after a while and lived with Charlotte until she married at 19. Charlotte also took Amy, the youngest, when she was 8 and Amy stayed with them until she married a few years ago.
I was offered a scholarship at a private school when I was 14 and thankfully Jacob was so anxious to get rid of me, he let me go without any argument. I had scholarships from then right on through school until I graduated from the University three years ago. After that I went into the armed services and when I was released, I started looking for your Dad. I found out when I was in the services your Dad paid for the scholarships which kept me in boarding schools. I guess he knew it would be as bad for me living with Jacob as it had been for him."
"Was Jacob mean to you ?" he questioned.
"It was a special kind of mean. Jacob made it clear when our parents died that everything belonged to him and that we were lucky he was generous enough to let us stay, instead of sending us to a state run orphan's home. We were expected to follow his and Tania's every rule and work on the ranch to help pay for our care."
"Did he beat you ?" Denny wanted to know.
"Not really." I replied. "He tried to hit your Dad once and ended up getting his ass kicked. That was just before Ted left. For some reason, Jacob didn't really want him to leave even though he was after him about things all the time. Your Dad told Jacob if he ever hit any of the rest of us, he'd come back and really teach him a lesson. Jacob hit me a couple times when I was older, but I went away to school soon after that. He would never touch the girls."
"Now the girls are all married and they live with their husbands and families in houses on different areas of the ranch. Their husbands all work for Jacob. He and Tania still run things, telling everyone what they can and can't do."
Denny had been laying spread eagle across the centre of my king-sized bed and suddenly he sat up and turned to look at me. "Kevin says they're going horseback riding. Do we want to go ?" He was waiting for a response from me.
"Sure." I answered. "I love riding. How many will be going ?"
"Maybe 12." he replied immediately. "We will go swimming afterward and then you should spend some time with Jason and Dale. You may be able to help them out with some of their uncertainties about you." I didn't know what he meant, but thought I would likely find out when the time came. I would really like to spend some time with them too. They had interested me since our first encounter when they searched me the night I arrived.
Jason, Wednesday, August 24
I couldn't believe it. Eric hustled me at pool. Not once, but twice. I never even saw it coming. Of course everyone else found it exceedingly amusing. He had this open, vulnerable approach, Jason will you show me how to play this,' as he picked up a stick and held it backward. I had to work so hard the first game to let him get ahead and then Eric had a sudden stroke of luck' and won the game. The second time around he was just as sly. He had me beat before I even stepped up to the table. That rotten little bastard. I think I have a new idol. I want to be just like him when I grow up.
Being around Eric has created quite a challenge for me and I think maybe for my lover as well. He is so much like Ted, at least in a physical sense. Although I have never openly admitted it, even to myself, I have found Ted to be the sexiest man I've ever met. Dale is no slouch in any department and I love him passionately and without any hesitation, but Ted has always lit my fire just by being in the same room. He is so incredibly handsome and strong. Self-confidence envelopes him like a cologne. Yet he has a soft, loving side which he is not afraid to show. I have in truth been in lust with him since day one.
Although Eric is his own man and in many ways his personality differs from Ted, they share a common attractiveness which I find alluring. I felt guilty about my attraction to Ted for a short while until I realized that Dale experienced the same attraction. He has never said anything, but a spark in his eye when he looks at Ted, or when Ted says something positive to him, tells me Dale has a very strong attraction to the man. I know Dale loves me and when we are together there is nothing in the world that can equal the fulfillment we achieve together, but there has been this other ongoing attraction for each of us which never seems to wane.
I am certain Ted has no sexual attraction toward either of us. He has never given any indication he sees us as anything beyond employees and possibly good friends. His commitment to Dean is as firm as Dale's and mine to each other. So now Eric enters the picture and I experience the attraction all over again toward this pseudo- Ted, the problem being that this man could very well be available. I have been too embarrassed to tell Dale up to now, but I think to avoid any misunderstandings in the future I should discuss this situation with him. I never, ever imagined I would be the one in our relationship to even think of questioning our attitude about openness in our relationship. It's true we allowed Anson in at one point, but that was on a different emotional level. He was like a kid brother needing guidance and to explore. This is a very basic drive I am feeling now.
Jamie, Wednesday, August 24
"I'm starting to get concerned." I told them. "It's not like Dad and Uncle Ted to disappear. Even Mr. Glenn and Mrs. Taylor don't know where they are and I know Dale is starting to get worried."
"Maybe we should do some quiet investigating on our own." Davey suggested.
"I don't think that is a good idea." Kevin immediately responded. "Dad and Uncle Dean both trust us and if they had wanted us to know where they would be, they would have told us or let us know. We need to exercise our patience and believe in them, like they believe in us."
"I asked Uncle Eric to go to school with us on Friday to register us, if Dad and Uncle Dean are not back." Denny advised everyone. "I think that should be our deadline. They would not miss taking us to school. If they are not here, or if they do not contact us, we will go and find them then." Everyone seemed to be in agreement and we considered that to be an acceptable limit to our patience.
"Denny, have you tried to reach Uncle Ted mentally ?" I asked.
"Yes. I did." Denny confirmed. "I should be able to, but you know how hard it is to break through to him, or Uncle Dean, or Mr. Chen, especially if they don't want to let us in."
"You did have to go and pick someone as strong as Dad to bond with, didn't you ? Kevin teased Denny.
"The truth is, I didn't pick Dad to bond with." Denny revealed. I could sense the others were as surprised as I.
"What do you mean, you didn't pick Dad." Davey questioned.
"I didn't." Denny affirmed. "I believe it was pre-destined. That first night at the hospital when I was scared, Dad took me into his bed and held me while I slept and it just happened. I didn't even know who I was at that time, but the bonding was established. When I became aware of the bonding need, I selected Uncle Dean as the second, but he was the only conscious choice I made."
"I agree with Denny." Kevin said. "He was destined to bond with Dad. The selection was inevitable. That means the bond is total and they are integrated with each other. He should be able to contact Dad's mind at any time, so Dad has to be blocking his attempts."
"That is really strange." Davey commented. "What if Denny tried again while we were all joined like now. Nothing should be able to prevent contact, not even Dad's will power."
"No." Denny declared. "If Dad is blocking me, there is a good reason. The four of us will only join to break through if there is a real emergency. Otherwise, we respect his decision."
"I agree." Kevin affirmed. "If we have heard nothing on Friday, we will join together again and break through, but only if there is no other choice." I heard my other brothers agree and we discontinued the mental connection we had been maintaining with each other.
"Kevin," I said, turning to face him, "we need to do some planning with Mr. Chen and the others. Todd and Brendan are going to be leaving for school the day after Labour Day when we start school. We also need to consider what we are doing for Labour Day and find out if my Mother is planning on visiting for it."
"You've got several good points, Jamie." Kevin replied. "I don't know if anyone has even thought about these things. Let's go and talk with Mr. Chen right now and see what he would like done."
Dale, Wednesday, August 24
Jason said, "No". I quite honestly didn't know what to say or how to react. In time past it would have made no difference what my subordinate sex partner said, I would do or have what I wanted. But this was not any other subordinate sex partner, this was Jason and he had said, "No", and meant it. I thought quickly and realized I had only one option. I had to ask, "Why ?".
I could hear the hesitation in his voice and see the effort it took as he admitted to me his deep feelings about Ted and how Eric's presence and perceived availability had brought those feeling to the surface along with a whole shit load of guilt. The guilt was because he believed he was being traitorous and disrespectful to me. There was no question in my mind about the depth of his commitment to me and our relationship, but he felt his thoughts and yearnings were treacherous and made him unworthy of me.
In my early days, a confession like this from my sub would call for strong discipline to reinforce my possession and love through domination. It would have been the expected thing by both my lover and myself. That was then and this was Jason, who was mine because he allowed and consented for me to possess him. This was no subordinate, it was my partner, the lover whom I loved more than life itself and my equal.
After thinking it over only a moment I did the only thing I could do. I confessed my own feeling were exactly in line with his. I had the same yearnings and fantasies and was every bit as guilty as he might feel he was. The discussion then moved quickly to the question of what we were going to do about it.
Would we undertake to entice Eric into a threesome to fulfill our fantasies and desires ? Would we sit back and see if Eric would approach us as a couple, or individually, in hopes of forming a liaison to provide mutually satisfactory relations. Should one or both of us approach Eric, explaining our feelings and asking about his interest or willingness to play out our fantasies ? Should we both just cross our legs and tell our libidos we are in charge ?
We though long and hard about what lay ahead of us and what effect each action would have on our relationship with each other. Did our fantasies about Ted weaken or strengthen our relationship - were they a negative or positive thing ? Would acting them out with Eric, if the opportunity presented itself, result in a negative or positive ? Were we discussing a need or a want ?
Two hours of discussion revealed to us what we knew were truths from the beginning. Our desires were primarily for each other. We each were drawn to a man of great physical appeal, but both of us basically respected him not for his appearance, but for the kind of man he was. Someone to be looked up to and to be revered as a leader and model, for his intelligence, his honesty and his strength of character. He had become our mentor and a certain degree of sexual desire was to be expected, but not necessarily fulfilled. And fulfillment by proxy would not achieve satisfaction. Our true satisfaction came from our giving to each other.
We each knew these things, but like most things couples know as individuals, it was only in sharing them through discussion and reflection that we both truly understood what they meant to us.
Denny, Thursday, August 25.
"I'll be back in a minute," Davey told me as he went to answer his pager, "and don't move the checkers while I'm gone." I watched him walk over to the desk and pick up the telephone. He spoke for just a minute and then returned to where we were playing our game of checkers.
"Dale wants us to come to his office." he said. "He says it's important."
"Okay, we can leave the game and finish it when we come back." I suggested. We walked downstairs and through the corridors to the Security Office.
"Come on in guys and sit down." Dale greeted us. "Kevin and Jamie should be here in a minute." Davey and I looked at each other. Dale was upset, we could both feel it. He was not looking at either of us on purpose.
"What's the matter, Dale ?" I asked getting out of my chair and going around his desk to stand beside him. He reached over and hugged me and then lifted me up to sit in his lap. Not once did he look at me.
"Dale, I can feel how upset you are." Davey told him. "What is going on?" Just then Jason brought Kevin and Jamie into the office with Tim and Brian. Mr. Chen followed them in. He closed the door. For the first time Dale looked up at each of us.
"Boys, your Dads have been on a top-secret mission for the President, representing him and our country while negotiating contracts with some of the newly developing Eastern Bloc countries for their investments and manufacturing." Dale informed us. "They left the capital this morning, so they would be home tonight. Air Control lost contact with the corporate jet about an hour ago. The plane has gone down and is missing."