The TNT Files, Chapter 5
The following story is fiction. It describes sexually-explicit erotic events between males. If you are offended by this material, are too young, or live in an area where it is not allowed, don't read it. In the world of this story, the characters don't always use condoms. In the real world, everybody should practice safe sex.
The authors retain all rights. No reproductions or links to other sites are allowed without the authors' consent.
Many thanks to Evan, Patrick, Ash, Mickey, Sara and Tim for encouragement and inspiration. Tim did the editing and wrote all the wonderful 'Tim-letters.' The song lyrics are by James Taylor.
Remember what happened last time? I was trying to convince Timmy to live with me and be my love, kind of. And he - was being reluctant, doubting me, doubting himself. And that's where we are now...
Okay, on with the show!
--Tom
Onesillyrat@aol.com Part 5: You've got a friend
Hey Tommy, Big Guy,
(Bet you don't get that much, do you? )
I think I owe you an apology. I never meant to offend you by calling you a boy. Remember that you are about the same age as Trey, Mark, Ced, and Chaz. They are referred to as "boys" in the title. I love your tantalizing combination of occasional emotional hesitancy and intellectual feistiness, an amalgam that I find excitingly youthful. OK?
As I've told you, your mind and spirit repeatedly make me throw wood. I have come to trust your judgment more and more in all sorts of matters, not just in things literary. In case I haven't told you, however, I lust for your body, too.
Trust you? Of course I do. All I was saying in my last letter was that, yes, I have insecurities. You know pretty much all about me, and yet you say you love me. I worry, as I said, that you'd be disappointed if we were together. And I can't for the life of me see what there is about me that's either lovable or physically attractive.
Tommy, I want to send you a lyric of a new favorite of mine. It's hardly great poetry, but I love the sentiment, especially as a message to you.
I will attach it to this email.
Be in no doubt, you beautiful MAN, I love you.
Tim
You've Got a Friend
James Taylor
When you're down and troubled And you need a helping hand And nothing, whoa nothing, is going right, Close your eyes and think of me And soon I will be there To brighten up even your darkest nights.
You just call out my name, And you know wherever I am I'll come running, oh yeah baby, To see you again. Winter, spring, summer, or fall, All you have to do is call And I'll be there, yeah, yeah, yeah. You've got a friend.
If the sky above you Should turn dark and full of clouds And that old north wind should begin to blow, Keep your head together and call my name out loud, And soon I will be knocking upon your door. You just call out my name and you know wherever I am I'll come running to see you again.
Hey, ain't it good to know that you've got a friend? People can be so cold. They'll hurt you and desert you. Well they'll take your soul if you let them. Oh, yeah, but don't you let them.
You just call out my name and you know wherever I am I'll come running to see you again. Oh, babe, don't you know that?
Lord, I'll be there, yes I will. You've got a friend. You've got a friend.
Hi sweetest,
Nobody ever has called me "Big Guy"! There's nothing big about me, nowhere, all pretty average, and I don't mean that average you find on Nifty or ASSGM. There was no need to apologize, btw. Probably I didn't make myself very clear. You can call me 'sweet boy' anytime. But only you. Please do.
So. You say there's nothing lovable or attractive about you. If you really think so, you'll never believe me when I tell you otherwise.
And here I thought I was the one with the insecurities, and Evan the one with the "I'm not worth it" moods. Remember what Patrick then threatens him with? If I ever get my hands on you, baby, you will see that there are methods more subtle.
God damn, Tim! You're neither blind nor stupid, so why the hell don't you see the light? What can I do to knock some sense into that thick skull of yours?
Yes, I love you, I do! I'm crazy for you, hot for you and hard for you more often than not. When I read your stories, your letters, when I'm thinking of you, which I do all the time, I'm hard with wanting you. Do you know that I keep these hardons for you, as long as I can stand it?. And when I finally succumb to my longing, it's your name I whisper to every stroke of my hand, and it's your name I shout when I come.
Would you let me go thirsty, because you thought that you had only water to offer, not wine?
I'm sorry, if this is not what you wanted to hear. Maybe I'm just not what you need. Maybe I can't offer the right things. I, too, am afraid of disappointing you. Do we need this ocean between us? To have you, and have you not - what a fine mix of heaven and hell!
I love the song you sent. Thank you , baby.
You've got a friend, too.
--Tom
Tim, baby
I feel like I've been pushing too hard. I'm sorry for that. It's because I can't bear seeing you selling yourself so short. And it's because I want you so much.
You're afraid you won't be able to live up to my expectations. I can understand that. I do have a high opinion of you.
It's the way you love me, baby. No one loves me like you do, no one ever did. I was not what I am now, till you saw it in me. I wanted to be good, because you said I could be it. I wrote the things for you, because you encouraged me.
You know that getting something posted or even being mentioned in a foreword, were my fondest dreams. Now, that that's happened, I realize that what I really enjoy is working on the stories together with you. I don't want any credits. If you tell me I did okay I'm perfectly happy. If you tell me how I can improve I'll try to be worth the trouble.
I never dreamt I'd meet someone like you. As I said before, I'll gladly take anything you're willing to offer. You've already made me happier than I ever thought I could be.
Tommy
Studly,
You and I have been beating ourselves up too much. Let's take a deep breath and start over.
I love your mind. You are at once analytical and imaginative. You are the editor everyone dreams of, patient and thorough. You write, I think, with more creativity and flair than I do.
From all our email exchanges, I know that you are generous, open-hearted, such a very sweet guy!
Tommy, I haven't seen you, and you haven't seen me. Unless you've been lying to me, and I don't believe that for a moment, I am going to find you irresistble when we do finally meet. Meanwhile, little brother (even if you're taller than me, I can pull the age thing), know that I do love you. I'm immensely touched that you say you love me.
Let's just be happy in that. I'm just finishing up the chapter in which my namesake and Cedric do finally convince each other of the solidity of their love. I'm looking forward to the time when you and I can physically claim each other. Meanwhile, remember that we are in each other's lives and hearts. As our friend Patrick says, "Get used to it!"
I love you, pup.
Tim
P.S. I'm attaching a pic that shows Trey as he appeared in my dream.
Hi Red Hot,
Or should I say "Hot Red?"
You're so right, baby, I've been beating myself a lot these days , which is entirely your fault!
So I'm the editor everyone dreams of? You're the author I dream of! You've got such a warped imagination - I'll have to make a list of all the things I want you to do to me! This foot-thing in the tub, for example, sounds delicious.
I love to see Tim so horny. Boy, can I empathize with him! Tell me, Timmy, do you really wear silk boxers? Ever since you mentioned them first in - was it ch. 5? - I can't help imagining how I touch and caress you through the silk. Jeez! Here I go again!
Ced has such a nice and loving family, and rather well-to-do, too. No wonder that he's so confident and open. I suppose we will see quite a contrast when it comes to Trey's family. Didn't you say they were rather rich folks, but they don't care shit for him?
The pic of Trey was great. Very sexy. I don't look much like that, except for the color of that guy's hair. That's mine alright. But I'm a little less packed than he is.
The scene with Francis and Rodney really shows a multi-facetted Tim. At first the blushing bride, then the uninhibited dancer, then the charging lion. He doesn't have to worry about living up to Francis at all, if you ask me!
Seeing Ced and Tim interact gives me always a warm feeling, they're so caring and loving with each other. I know that someone who writes such scenes must be the sweetest guy ever, baby!
And he's mine!
--Tom
Hey babe,
You know, I've taken to printing out your emails so I can have a hard copy in front of me (not the only thing in front of me that's hard) as I write you. Your letters are always full of things I want to respond to.
Evan and Di say Trey is their favorite character. Could it be that Di loves him because he reminds her of you? You will learn more about Trey's family in the next chapter, which will be 15. Your chapter, Chaz's journal, will now become ch. 16. You might want to make that change in your computer file. BTW, stud, Trey is pretty even-tempered. Is that something you should work on?
I, too, love the relationship between Cedric and Tim. It helps that Ced shares Tim's love of literature and that he's so articulate. I love Ced's playfulness, his ability to become instantly one of several different personae when he's with Tim. And he brings out Tim's playfulness, too. Wish we could be together. Would you be my Cedric?
With the holiday coming up, I decided to send ch. 6 to Nifty today. I thought it might take more time than usual to get it posted. But then, our readers may be stuffing themselves with turkey and pumpkin pie instead of reading, too.
Now I must send chapter 7 to the growing list of guys who expect to be kept one chapter ahead of what's posted.
Looking back over your letter, I see that I failed to mention the silk boxers. As I recall, Tim says in ch. 1 that that is what he was wearing, and that the cum soaked through them very quickly to make the spot in the front of his khakis. I have only one pair. They feel great, but you have to be careful not to put them into hot water.
Speaking of silk, I still get moist when I think of David in his silk turquoise harem pants.
Gotta run, lover.
Remember there's a difference between having fun with your pole and flagellating yourself.
Love you,
Tim
P.S. Remind me to comment on the nickname "Red" sometime.
Hi Tom, studly,
Thanks so much for sending the pic. Typically, you misled me about your looks. You take my breath away! The blond hair and that beautiful, (forgive me!) boyish skin are so sexy. You and I have two things in common that I hadn't thought of: we both have green eyes, and we both look younger than we are. I've printed out that picture on photo paper and plan to frame it and put it by my bedside table. I think you can imagine what I'll often be doing as I lie there looking at it.
Nifty posted chapter 6 of our story overnight, and I've already received an email from a nice guy named Fred who said he's read the whole six chapters and loved them. It's too bad you don't get to read the fan mail the story has generated. I'd forward them to you, but I think it might breach the confidentiality of the writers, so I'd better not. Patrick read chapter 13 yesterday and was kind enough to say good things about it. I'll send him, Evan, and Ash copies of 14 soon. It took me forever to get the last scene (Ced and Tim in bed) of 14 written. Kept being interrupted.
I thought when I finished chapter 14 that I really needed a break from this story and that I wouldn't do any more writing for a while. But my head is full of ideas for chapter 15, so I suspect I'll get started drafting at the beginning of next week.
I'll be with some aunts and cousins and their families for the big Thanksgiving food orgy tomorrow, but I'll be thinking of you, sexy. And now that I have that picture, I'll know what a great-looking dude you are. Can Junior get any harder?
Love,
Tim
P.S. Got a first look at Ash's chapter 4 yesterday. He sent it to me for editing. It's very tender, as usual. I'm sure you'll love it.
T.
Hi Tim, my man,
Glad you liked the pic. Di says I look like Brad Pitt in it, so I suppose I am good-looking. Believe me, often I have wished I was not. Now I don't mind, as long as you like it.
BTW, what's that about my temper? Has Di been talking? Okay, so I'm not that even-tempered, but, hey, I'm no choleric, either! Just a passionate guy! Sometimes I've got to let off a little bit of steam, is all. Maybe then I'll take my bike for a ride through some hollow lands and hilly lands (hey, a big wet one with lotsa tongue if you know the poet!), or I go dancing, or it's Iron Maiden with me singing along, which everybody dreads most, 'cause I can't sing at all...
David in those pants was one of my better ideas, I agree. What really gets me going, though, is the thought of you in your silk boxers. Baby, you gotta buy some more of them, I wanna make you soak a pair every day! Imagine us two, having lunch somewhere fancy. It won't take much to get you going. My foot, caressing you under the table, some words whispered over the candle, me, eating juicy fruits... Yes, I'll be your Ced, if you'll have me!
It's generous of you to call Dr. Tim our story, but it doesn't fit the facts, dear. I'd love to read the feedback you get, but you're right in not forwarding it. Maybe you can tell me a bit once in a while, without saying who said what.
Funny, how people kept interrupting you while you were writing the love-scene. I guess, I did, too. Hell, sometimes I'm jealous of Ced! Stupid, I know! But I can't help it. He has his Tim!. And you, you probably get hard and leaky writing these scenes! And I, when I read them!
Baby, you've got the sexiest mind!
And I, I've got turquoise silk pants...
...for you to enjoy!
--Tom
Hey, Hot Stuff,
I've been listening to/watching a Josh Groban concert on tv. As Ced would say, he's "majorly cute." And he has a great voice, too.
I've been feeling bad that I didn't answer your letter of 2/22 as fully as it deserves. Such a beautifull letter it was. And now there's another, equally beautiful. I hope you won't mind if I respond to the spirit of those letters rather than to specific points.
First of all, I have to remind you of what you already know. I have a life-long committment to The Pride. Evan, Patrick, and Ash are my brothers, except that with us, there's no problem of incest. There is no jealousy in The Pride. We understand that any sexual contact amongst us in no way diminishes the love we four have for one another. If you take me on, you have to understand that.
Having said that, I hope you will take me on.
Why do I feel so much older than you? Perhaps it's because you're so intense, so impetuous. You must never doubt, my love, that I know you are a man, and, yes, you can revel in being bigger and stronger than me. Have me at your mercy! I want you to claim me. I want to feel you inside me, Tommy. I need that.
Then, but only when you want me to, I can take control, exert whatever power it is I have over you. We must have a mutual giving, a sharing, don't you think? I can do that. I WILL go there with you.
I'll even buy more silk boxers to wear for you, if you'll wear those sexy, clinging turquoise silk pants for me.
When we meet, you'll see no fear in my eyes. Just love and trust, sweet man, just love and trust.
I am
your Tim
(Wow! Finally! I started to think he'd never come around! Was that hard or what?! Everybody who's made it down here, you've just earned yourself a hot chocolate! Or a cold Bud, whatever's more convenient for you! Thanks for reading! -Tom)