This single shopping trip turned out to be a major logistics undertaking.
Jerome scurried around the car opening the trunk for all of the bags and bundles and helping to stow all that everyone was carrying. Eight people and all that baggage: what a formidable entourage now fell into Jerome's care.
The dads had huge bags filled with clothing. The boys each had some acoutrement of the care and feeding of a puppy: Nicky held a low wicker basket with bright red pillow attached inside to make a cozy sleeping spot for the new family member; Jilder lugged a case of cans each filled with canine puppy formula for nourishment from birth to three months--quite heavy actually; Murph carried bottles, nipples, and a large package of rags because the puppy had no idea of what house training was--and that would be a while in coming.
And Sean carried the Holy Grail itself: that beautiful, newly-born, snow white, Alaskan Malamute puppy. The puppy was only about eight inches long, a veritable ball of white fur with tiny legs, a tiny tail, and little triangular ears above tiny black features that served to allow the puppy to nurse, eventually to see (when he was a few weeks older), and to make little squeaking noises that someday would become robust barks.
"Are the laptops alright in there, Jerome?" Murph inquired.
"Oh, yes, indeed. There is plenty of room for everything and everyone too," Jerome replied.
"Good!" Murph said with emphasis, as though he were the tour director or something!
Max approached Jerome and asked, "Jerome, I'm so sorry to hit you with all of this baggage, but I truly didn't anticipate the puppy thing... Please forgive me for taking you for granted."
"Oh, No bother, Sir. I can see that Master Sean is the proud new father. Perhaps this new puppy will help him to feel more at home and sooner," Jerome replied.
"That is exactly what we were thinking when we conceded the acquisition of another living creature... We're playing this one "by ear," as they say..."
"Very good, Sir," Jerome smiled and nodded his head in understanding and approval.
"When we are correctly loaded, where is our destination, Sir." Jerome asked.
Max walked up to the doors where Hugo and Kevin had just seated themselves in the town car. He leaned over and spoke to them inside, "Do you want us to take you to Castle Clontarf; so that you can check out? I'd be most pleased if you would spend tonight at my house, and then we could leave directly from there tomorrow morning. It would gather all of the logistics into this afternoon and leave tomorrow morning for the pleasure of our drive together to Dromoland. I realize I'm making plans for you, but if you'd rather do otherwise, I certainly understand."
Kevin replied, "Well that certainly sounds efficient, but all four of us have separate large suitcases, and then we each have a smaller carry-on bag: the boys their laptops, Hugo his briefcase containing passports and tickets and medical records, and even I have a second small bag containing condoms!"
Max responded with a belly laugh... "You require an ENTIRE bag just for your condoms?"
"Well, I wasn't sure how much free time Hugo and I would have..."
Still laughing, Max walked back to Jerome and asked, "Do you see any way that we can add four large suitcases and 4 smaller bags to our load?"
Jerome lifted his hat and scratched his head of thinning hair as he replied, "I think that would be a bit much, Sir, with all of these shopping packages, and the puppy equipment."
"Tomorrow, then, Jerome, I'm thinking that packing for two weeks at Castle Dromoland will require more luggage than this car can carry, given that we'll be taking 8 passengers and a puppy."
"I'm afraid you're correct, Sir... at least that's the way I see it too..." Jerome replied.
"Hummm? Can the sedan carry all of the luggage, if the passengers remain in the town car?" Max asked.
"Oh, I'd say that would be quite do-able, Sir. The sedan has a large trunk space anyhow, and then the additional items, perhaps the smaller bags and the puppy paraphernalia, could travel in the passenger compartment."
"Good. Then we'll do it that way. We'll drop Hugo and Kevin and their boys off at Castle Clontarf now; so that they can prepare their luggage for the trip tomorrow. You can deliver Murph, Sean, the puppy, and me and Brandy to our house. Then drive back over to Clontarf after you unload us at home, in order to pick up Hugo, Kevin, their boys and their luggage."
Max continued to think out loud, "Back at home, we can pack both cars for our trip tomorrow. Do you think you can talk one of the mechanics into driving the sedan to Dromoland for us tomorrow? If he wants to drive back to his home and then return two weeks later for our drive back, that would be fine with us."
"Oh, I'm sure someone would like the extra work, Sir. I'll look into it right away after everyone is at home," Jerome said.
"That would be wonderful, Jerome. Thank you for your splendid cooperation. And sometime very soon perhaps Sean will allow you to hold his new puppy... That is, if he perceives you to be trustworthy..." Max winked and ended his conversation with Jerome with a big smile and a thank you...
Everyone piled into the town car and they were off. What a stellar shopping day this turned out to be...
Back at home, in the huge bedroom where the boys had built their encampment, Sean and the others were busy setting up the puppy nursery.
The sleeping box was thorougly protected by a discarded plastic bag and lined with rags to facilitate sanitation. The boys opened the carton of tins containing puppy formula, and then opened one tin immediately. That tin of puppy formula they mixed with warm milk brought in from the kitchen. Finally, Murph had matched bottles and nipples and assembled them to receive the formula; and some small towels had materialized after the cook realized that she was now also in charge of warming milk for a newborn puppy.
Actually, the entire household staff was aware of the new arrival; one by one they each came to visit. Sean, the proud parent, always held his puppy up for everyone to see and admire. It was truly a happy time for Sean and for everyone at the Johanathan-Murphy residence.
"Sean, come over here," Jilder said, "Look at this stuff on the net that talks about Brien Boru, the King who used to live at Castle Dromoland."
The boys had powered up all four laptops on a table, and extension cords were running everywhere.
Sean was still holding and feeding a bottle to the puppy, who needed his attention about every hour and a half-- continuously. (of course, Sean was yet to do a round of night time feedings...)
"Oh, Jilder, you don't REALLY think that there's a ghost at Dromoland, do you?" Sean asked with some hint of real questioning in his voice.
"Everybody SAYS there is!" Jilder replied.
Sean, not given to illusion or fantasy added, "But for sure you haven't SEEN a ghost before, have you."
"Well, no, but I've never been in a real castle before either... Maybe real ghosts only live in real castles?" Jilder opined
"Yea... Well.... MAAAY-BE?..." Sean conceded, not willing to rule out any possibility in life.
"If you'll come over here now, Sean, I'll help you to set up your email account at Google," Nicky called to Sean.
"Yeah," Murph said. "Get your email account, Sean. I want to send you a email message,"
"Okay. Give me just a few minutes more. The puppy is almost finished with his bottle," Sean answered.
Jilder went on: "This article says 'Castle Dromoland in County Clare, dates back to the 16th century and is the ancestral home of the O'Brien clan, direct descendants of the last High King of Ireland: Brien Boru.'"
And Jilder continued, "Oh, Hey! Listen to THIS... "At the Battle of Clontarf, (that's where we've been stayin!) the Irish lost 3,000 men and the Vikings lost 6,000 men. The Irish won the fight but while the Vikings were retreating and Brien Boru was praying in his tent, somebody sneaked in and murdered him! Ohhhhhhhh!" Jilder stopped reading and looked around at the others totally aghast at what he'd just read.
"Jilder that's too gruesome to talk about. I don't want to hear about people dying and stuff," Nicky said.
Murph chimed in, "Yeah! That's bad stuff. Who wants to know about THAT. It's like spiders! Yuck, Yuck... Double Yuck!"
Sean was still holding his puppy, but he listened to the other boy's conversation. When the history revealed yet more fighting and bloodshed, Sean began to feel hopeless at the plight of his life in Ireland and even started to tear-up. (The others were too far away from him to realize what was happening...)
Sean said, "I don't want to read about that stuff either. I don't like it when people kill each other... It's really bad--- especially for the people who love the people who died."
"Yeah! Me neither..." Nicky concurred.
"But I didn't make this stuff up!" Jilder said defensively. "It's just the history. Really old history... Humm? 16th Century... When was that, 1500-something?"
Sean replied, "Yeah. You're right. You didn't do nothin... But people are still havin wars and revolutions and killing each other RIGHT NOW AND RIGHT HERE, AND IT'S REALLY BAD!!!" And he began to sob, crying out loud this time...
Murph jumped up and went to Sean right away. He put his hand on Sean's shoulder and asked, "What's wrong, Sean. Please don't cry. I don't like it when you're sad..."
None of the boys understood what was happening.
Sean simply continued to cry, stifling his sounds in the puppy's fur.
Nicky looked over at Jilder and said, "Now see what you did..."
Jilder felt attacked, "What did I do? I didn't do nothin. I only read about the old history, and I thought you guys would want to know about the ghost..."
Out of the midst of his tears Sean screamed out, "HE DIDN'T DO NOTHIN, NICKY! DON'T BE MAD AT JILDER... JILDER DIDN'T DO NOTHIN. He didn't make me cry..." and Sean buried his head even further in the puppy and began to wail like he was dying.
Murph kept rubbing Sean's shoulder while he cried, trying to sooth him. "Then why are you crying?" he asked in a very soft voice, completely puzzled.
Sean didn't answer. He simply continued to wail and clutch the puppy to his chest.
"Don't bother him, Murph. If he don't want to talk, don't make him..." Jilder said.
"I'm not trying to make him talk, Jilder," Murph said, not knowing how to handle what he felt as pressure from Jilder, while he was sad and trying to be nice to Sean.
Jilder got up and walked over to Sean and Murph. "I'm sorry I hurt you, Sean. I'm really sorry. I didn't mean to do nothin."
Sean looked up with tearful eyes and shouted, "YOU DIDN'T DO NOTHIN! JILDER... I TOLD YOU!!!"
Jilder just stood there stunned at the angry outburst.
Sean began speaking and crying at the same time: "When you read about the fighting and the king getting murdered...."
Then he stopped speaking as a new wave of emotions washed over him... and he fell on the bed writhing in pain and whaling with tears gushing...
Hardly understandable, spoken in fits and pieces, Sean went on, his eyes closed, all curled up in the fetal position on the bed, clutching the puppy, and speaking to anyone who would hear: "I thought about.... about the night when... WHEN ME MUM AND DADDY GOT MURDERED! THE REVOLUTION SOLDIERS DID IT WITH GUNS! AND I HID UPSTAIRS UNDER ME BED..."
"Oh!!" Murph gasped, and he put both of his hands on Sean. Nicky and Jilder stood speechless looking down at Sean on the bed.
Through his tears and wailing Sean continued talking..."We was in our house.... and that night some revolution soldiers broke through the window and shot machine guns and killed mum and dad both!" and he wailed from the depths of his soul..."AND THEY WANTED TO KILL ME TOO!@!!"
Sean jumped up suddenly from the bed and ran to put the puppy in his box, and then he returned to lunge at his bed, and he began pounding it in a fit of rage.
"I HATE YOU.... I HATE YOU..... I HATE YOU..... I HATE YOU ALL!!! Sean screamed looking all around in the room not really seeing anyone!
"THE SOLDIERS ARE MURDERERS!... I HATE THEM!" And he lunged at the pillows, grabbed them, tore them to shreds, and threw them on the floor in a cloud of feathers; and then he continued to lunge at and punch the other pillows as hard as he possibly could... It was a breath-taking display of anger and fear... "I HATE EM! I HATE EM! I HATE EM!" he screamed at the top of his lungs, as loud as he POSSIBLY could...
"I HATE EM. I HATE EM. I HATE EM....." Sean continued to scream and pounce on the bed on his knees, still punching the pillows...
"I HATE em. I HATE HATE em. I HATE EM... " Sean ranted on and on...
At that moment the door to the bedroom burst open and Max and Brandy ran in. Max ran directly to the bed and reached for Sean, not really intending to stop the pounding or yelling, just attempting to show Sean that he was alright now, that he was safe here. Max said, "It's okay, Sean, I'm here; it's alright to be angry. Destroy the bed! PUNCH the pillows! PUNCH those soldiers... but don't hurt yourself or any of your friends who only love you..."
Sean raged on for quite a long time with Brandy on one side of the bed and Max on the other, neither interfering with the outpouring of anger and grief Sean felt alternately, as he relived that night he lost his mum and dad...
The feelings would surge and Sean wailed and fought by thrashing at the bedding. Then he'd drop from exhaustion only to be hit again moments later with more pain driving him to yet more yelling. It was fearsome and gut wrenching to witness...
Finally, Sean stopped the angry pounding and collapsed in a great crying heap of heaves of hurt and grief. He rolled and tossed and eventually went completely limp, totally exhausted when his emotions and his energy were spent.
Max and Brandon both reached over and rubbed Sean, one rubbed his chest, the other his head. Neither spoke a word to him, but both were never more in communication with another human being than they were at that moment with Sean.
Sean's crying became more laden with sadness than anger, and Max reached down and picked him up in his arms like a baby.
Brandon stroked Sean's hair and said very softly, "You're alright, Sean, you're safe... You can cry and yell as loud and as long as you want. Nothing will hurt you now. It's okay..."
Sean just continued to cry and bury his head in Max's chest.
The boys all stood speechless at the spectacle which had unfolded before them. None of them had ever witnessed such outpouring of feelings, and they were frightened by the intensity of what they witnessed.
The door to the boys' bedroom was open, and Hugo and Kevin hurried in. They went directly to Nicky and Jilder and Murph who were all huddled together out of the way of the extraordinary emotion Sean had been experiencing.
"Boys! Nicky, Jilder, and you too Murph, please, come with Hugo and me out into the hall, we'd like to speak with you for a minute..."
The boys filed out of the room keeping their eyes glued on Sean who was still sobbing quietly in Max's arms.
When Kevin and Hugo and the boys reached the large sitting room just off the hallway, Kevin said, "You guys have a seat. We need to talk about what's going on with Sean and find out if it scared you, listening and watching him while he was feeling very strong emotions..."
Murph spoke up first. "Yeah. Jilder was reading some history on the Internet, about soldiers killing the king of Dromoland in his tent at Castle Clontarf. And Sean started crying..."
"I didn't mean to do nothin, Dad! Honest, I LIKE Sean, and I didn't mean to make him cry... I feel really bad 'cause I hurt him so much...." Jilder said, now himself starting to cry quietly....
"No, No, Baby... YOU didn't hurt Sean! You muss-ant think that. STOP. Think about what I just said: YOU DIDN'T HURT SEAN!" Kevin said.
"You're thinking that you did something bad when you did nothing bad at all, Jilder" Kevin said moving over next to Jilder and putting his arm around him while he cried.
"REMEMBER, JILDER, YOU DID NOTHING BAD AT ALL..."
"Sean told Jilder he didn't do nothin bad, I heard him," Murph said meekly.
"You see, Jilder. You were mistakenly going to tell yourself that you did something bad that hurt Sean, when you didn't do anything except read history from the Internet."
Kevin continued: "Sean is feeling so much pain right now, because when he thought about the soldiers murdering King Baru, it made him remember that it was soldiers who really DID murder his mother and father in his house while Sean hid in his bedroom. This was only a little over a year ago.. And it was horrible for Sean." Kevin explained.
The boys received that information with great alarm, Nicky and Murph looked at one another with shock in their eyes. Jilder looked up into Kevin's eyes and continued to cry.
"Sean would have broken down no matter who was reading, Jilder. And he might have been over-whelmed by his emotions in some very different situation too, if that situation made him think of his mom and dad being murdered."
Kevin went on: "In a real way, Jilder, you did Sean a huge favor by giving him an opportunity to remember and express his sad and angry feelings about those deaths in a place where he was safe and loved and would not alarm anyone around him-- well, anyone around him except you guys. But you're learning... You're smarter now; and so you don't have to feel bad, as if you did something wrong."
"You see, you're very young and haven't seen how much emotion people can express without harming themselves or anyone else, especially when they have a lot of pain and loss in their lives."
"Expressing his pain by crying and getting mad, and non-dangerous pounding on the bed pillows, frees Sean FOREVER from the continuous burden of hiding the feelings of that horrible experience.. The crying and screaming helped him to re-live how he wanted to react the night his mum and dad were killed, but dare not, for fear that he would be discovered and murdered too. What a terrible thing he had to go through...." Kevin explained.
"But, Kevin," Nicky said quietly..."Sean yelled, 'I hate you. I hate you all!' I think he really hates us too..."
"Oh, NO, Nicky. He just felt so much anger that he couldn't distinguish the people he loves from the people he hates; so he said 'I hate everybody', and that's normal. But that's just a passing confusion. He doesn't hate you or us at all, and he'll want you to KNOW that...you just wait..."
"So now you boys know and can understand better; so you don't have to think YOU did anything to hurt Sean. And you don't have to be afraid that anything is wrong with Sean, or think that he is crazy, or that he might hurt you. Sean is just one very hurt little boy who has done a marvelous job of surviving alone for nearly two years since that horrible event in his house. And all he can do is scream and cry about it, like he did tonight."
"Oh, I understand how much it hurts when your dad dies." Nicky said, "I felt really bad for a long time after my dad died being an alcoholic," Nicky said.
"Yes. I know you did. So you understand how deeply hurt Sean is, losing both mom and dad. Maybe sometime you can tell him that you know how he feels because you lost your dad too..."
Kevin turned and surveyed how the boys seemed to be doing. He went on: "With care and love from the people around him-- that's you guys and his dads, Sean will recover. He might always be very sad-- and even cry--when he thinks about his mom and dad, but the violent out-burst of emotions that you guys saw are out and gone. And he is free. That's the way it works... In a very real way, Sean NEEDED to do this before much more time passed. And you guys really helped him get it out...safely."
"Gosh, dad, what should we do now? I don't know what to say to Sean..." Nicky said.
"Me neither," Murph added. Jilder simply continued to cry quietly in Kevin's arms.
"Well, you could say, you understand NOW that he had a really bad thing happen to him, you can tell him you feel very sorry about that loss, and you can tell him that you love him and don't want him to hurt any more."
"Kevin," Jilder said wiping his tears away, "Do you think I should apologize?"
"For what?" Kevin replied....
"You know..." Jilder said letting his head hang down.
"You did nothing wrong, nothing to apologize for, Jilder. That's what YOU must learn from all of this. YOU, Jilder, need to accept that it was the soldiers who hurt Sean, NOT YOU. Maybe you could tell Sean that I just talked to you about how he lost his mom and dad, and you are very sad WITH HIM about his loss. You must NOT say that you are responsible. Because you aren't. Is that clearer to you now, Jilder?" Kevin asked.
"Yes, Sir... I guess so..." Jilder said, not really understanding how all of this worked.
"Don't worry, Jilder." Kevin said, "Just be nice to Sean; that will go a long way to helping him feel better. You don't need to say anything unless it seems right to you..."
Kevin looked at Murph and said: "I think maybe we ought to stay out here in the sitting room until your dad and Brandy have finished with Sean. Although that might be a while, nobody knows... But they'll probably come looking for us..."
No sooner had Kevin finished explaining Sean's outburst to the boys than who should come walking into the sitting room but Sean himself, walking between Max and Brandy, both of whom had their arms around him. He had stopped crying completely.
Sean and his dads stood in the middle of the room, and Sean spoke to the other boys, "I hope I didn't scare you when I got angry. I'm sorry if I did, 'cause I like you all a lot, and I'm not angry with any of you."
"Oh, no...We're not scared... Well, at first, maybe a little, but NOW we talked to Kevin and Hugo, and we understand why you were so angry, and I'm really, really sorry about your mom and dad," Murph said.
Sean didn't reply, but he looked up at Max and then at Brandy and finally he looked back at Murph and nodded his head in acknowledgement. "Thank you," he said softly.
"Yeah, me too, Sean. I really like you and I am sad when you are, and I want you to feel better, cause you're really nice," Nicky added. Sean smiled at Nicky.
Sean then looked over at Jilder who hung his head and was the last to speak.
But Sean talked to Jilder before he could speak: "Jilder. I wish I didn't hurt you. I didn't mean to make you think you did something bad. 'Cause you didn't."
Jilder looked up and said: "Uh... Sean, I'm sorry you got hurt really bad, and I would do anything to help you feel better, 'cause I really like you," and he stood up, walked over to where Sean stood and reached out to give Sean a hug.
Max and Brandy relinquished Sean for a moment while Jilder hugged him. "I want to sit next to you when we go to Dromoland-- if you want to..." Jilder said.
Sean looked into Jilders eyes and said, "I'd like that too..."
"Do you want me to show you how to get an email account?" Nicky asked.
Again, Sean turned and looked up at his two new dads as if to ask whether it would be alright for Nicky to do that.
Max said, "I think that would be very nice of you, Nicky. But please--all of you boys-- keep it brief tonight. We all need our rest for our trip tomorrow.
"And Sean if you want to sleep all tonight, I'll get up and feed your puppy his bottle when he cries... If you want me to..." Murph offered.
Sean answered, "That would be so nice, Murph. I am feeling really tired right now, and I know the puppy needs to be fed whether I'm tired or not..."
Jilder chimed in, "Don't worry, Sean, we'll make sure the puppy gets good care while you sleep."
Sean looked at Murph and said, "Murph, would you mind sharing my big bed with me tonight. It would make me feel much safer."
"Oh, cool. I'd like to. You can keep me warm too." Murph answered.
"Thank you, Murph." Sean said.
Brandy spoke to everyone, "Well, I don't know about the rest of you gentlemen, but I am quite ready to call it an early night. I'm exhausted after our big day shopping."
Max answered, "I'm right there with you, Brandy. First let's go in and see that the boys have everything that they need for the night... Perhaps a glass of milk and cookies from the kitchen would be nice for all of the boys... And they can make sure the puppy is okay for the night..."
Sean said looking up at Max and Brandon: "Thank you Max; thank you Brandy. I love you."