TIME-TO-SEE-61
The lecture hall was in the form of an Athenian Theater with stage at the bottom of a semi-circular array of seats that resembled an amphitheater. Hugo sat with Dr. Kavanaugh and his two assistants just below and in front of a gigantic screen onto which rear screen video was projected. Kevin and the boys sat at almost the top row of the lecture hall with a perfect view of everything.
The entire presentation had taken a little over an hour, including the video of the examination and testing that occurred just two hours earlier.
Dr. Kavanaugh and his assistants were responding to questions from the seminar attendees.
"Dr. Kavanaugh, with all due respect to a man of your credentials, experience, and integrity, it IS stretching one's regard for your credibility to believe what you would have us, given that your own examination of only two hours ago indicated that this man may not indeed have EVER been deaf, nor does he display a trace of having a surgical procedure of the magnitude and extent which you have represented.
The murmur of countless voices filled the hall, no doubt commenting to colleagues sitting next to them, indicating that this man was definitely NOT expressing a minority opinion of Dr. Kavanaugh's presentation.
One of Dr. Kavanaugh's assistants spoke up, "If I may be so bold as to add to what Dr. Kavanaugh has presented: I, myself, as well as 50 of our colleagues were independently involved in the identification of Mr. Ramirez as a candidate suitable for the receipt of our stem-cell repair of his hearing structures. We ALL know that this man could NOT hear, as his central auditory nerve was destroyed by processes that occurred long before we became aware of Mr. Ramirez' existence. The data and video records that you were shown here in our presentation document Mr. Ramirez' initial condition and are irrefutable. And further video evidence proves beyond a shadow of a doubt that this man DID INDEED undergo complete stem-cell transplant to repair the deficit auditory nerve function."
The assistant continued: "It is truly remarkable that his post-operative recovery has been so totally complete as to raise doubts that he EVER was deaf. As sure as I sit here before you, A year and a half ago, Hugo Ramirez was stone deaf! He had a defective main auditory nerve, and he courageously allowed himself to be the recipient of experimental stem-cell harvest and transplant. That transplant operation was indeed a complete success. Mr. Ramirez has experienced complete restoration of ability to hear. And the post-operative resolution phase went extraordinarily well, leaving him not only with excellent hearing but with NO scars or evidence that he endured the burdens of deafness of which we speak.
And the assistant concluded: "There is NO fraudulent aspect to ANY detail or the total effects of our stem-cell transplant procedure. As we have presented them to you today, they are true and authentic."
Again the murmur of the body was louder and more oppositional than even the first; thus to bring order at this point in the proceedings, a gavel would have been invoked had one been present.
Out of the blue, a boy stood up in the rear and upper tiers of the lecture hall and screamed out to the entire assemblage:
"YOU are the liars!
"You are saying my dad and my dad's doctors are liars and that my dad wasn't deaf. He couldn't hear ever since I was a baby. He couldn't hear me cry or ask for his help when I needed it. He is a good dad, but his ears didn't work. And then Dr. Kavanaugh came to San Diego and did an operation that me and my brother watched through a special window in the operating room, and then my dad started to hear. My brother and me saw his scar. We watched him get shots and stuff to help his nerve grow back. MY DAD IS NOT LYING! YOU ARE MEAN, IGNORANT, STUPID PEOPLE... You should be HAPPY for my dad and me and the people who helped him. Instead you say mean and bad things about them. You are UGLY like the SPIDERS IN THE MUSEUM!"
And with that outburst, Jilder ran out of the lecture hall with Nicky and Shannon running after him.
No one said anything. The hall was quiet enough that one might hear the proverbial pin drop.
Kevin rose and, taking the steps two-at-a-time up to the top of the amphitheater, chased after the boys who had disappeared lightning fast from the hall.
Dr. Kavanaugh spoke, "I see that our time for the first session in today's seminar has expired. Let us all adjourn for a rest and return to begin again for final questions and examinations promptly at 3 o'clock. Thank you ladies and gentlemen."
Outside, the boys were nowhere to be found. Kevin searched the grounds near the lecture hall, ran over to the cafeteria building, then ran to the Spider Museum. This was serious. Kevin could not find his boys...
He called out "Police, police," but there were none around. He ran back into the lecture hall fighting the slowly moving crowd of people exiting the lecture theater. Kevin yelled down to the floor where Hugo still sat with Dr. Kavanaugh and the others.
"Hugo! We need help. The boys have disappeared. I can't find them anywhere. Ask Dr. Kavanaugh or somebody to call the campus police-- QUICK!"
Hugo jumped up from his chair and bound up the amphitheater seating not using an aisle, but rather stepping on the chairs themselves to get to Kevin at the top.
"Oh, my God. I knew Jilder was really upset, but I didn't think he would run away from us," Hugo said.
"Oh, I don't think he's running from you or me. I think he's running away from this lecture hall and the reception that they gave to you."
"It's all the same. Why did I let this happen to him? I could kick myself for allowing Jilder to be hurt like this," Hugo said.
"Hugo! Now I don't need another hysterical person. You DID NOT allow this to happen. Jilder is just not used to seeing the conflict that exists in the world. He needs help to realize that the conflict doesn't have to hurt him or the people he loves, if only they know how to see it, and how to deal with it. No one can hurt us without our agreeing to accept the attacks as the truth about us.
Our parenting job just got temporarily harder, Hugo. And I NEED YOU to help me TO HELP JILDER and the others. PLEASE, HUGO, don't abandon me. I need you!" Kevin said.
"Come on," Hugo said. And he ran out through the crowd out onto the stairs in the front of the lecture hall.
"Fuck!" Hugo said, not seeing the boys anywhere. "Where would they go?"
"I checked the cafeteria and the Spider Museum, and they weren't there. They don't know anything about this campus... They could be ANYWHERE!" Kevin said.
"Jerome won't be here until four. It's only 2:20... They can't be with him." Kevin added.
Then Hugo said, "When Jilder was a very little boy, he'd hide under things when he was angry. He'd climb under the table and under the bed. He'd wanted big boxes to hide in.... Kev, I'd guess that Jilder is hiding UNDER something right now. I'd bet money on it..."
"But WHAT, Hon?" Kevin replied.
"God. I don't know. Let's walk around the lecture hall and see what is out here."
And so they headed around one side of the hall, along a wide concrete walkway, arriving at an intricate garden of roses and azaleas criss-crossed with footpaths and dotted with fountains and a gazebo.
They entered the garden, walking along a footpath that lead them to a corner where a gazebo stood: lovely, white, entwined with morning-glory vines replete with pale lavender blossoms that had remained open far later in the day than was usual.
In the middle of the gazebo, sitting on the floor they found Shannon all alone.
"Murph!" Kevin said, being careful to avoid startling the boy. "Where are the rest of the guys?"
"Jilder is under this little house, and he won't come out. Nicky went under there to be with him, but I didn't because I'm afraid there might be spiders in there," Shannon said.
"Well you are doing just fine by acting as a lookout. We'd never have found you guys if you hadn't been waiting up here... And don't worry about the spiders. They're really little out here and more afraid of you than you are of them."
"Can you go under the house and talk to Jilder? He was crying and wouldn't talk to me or Nicky," Shannon added.
"If you were Jilder would you want me to come under the house with you?" Kevin asked Shannon.
"Yeah! I would. I don't think Jilder is mad with you... He just thinks those people are calling Hugo a liar, and he knows that's not right."
"Hummm.." Kevin nodded to Hugo. "Mind if I go under and see if I can speak with Jilder?"
"No. Not at all, Babe. I appreciate you wanting to help." Hugo said.
"Good."
And with that Kevin took off his coat, got down in the dirt in his suit pants, and crawled under the gazebo on his hands and knees. Well, maybe there were a few spider webs and such in the way, but these were the least of Kevin's worries.
"Jilder... Mind if I join you?" Kevin asked in a quiet and kind voice.
"No. You didn't do nothin," Jilder answered in a voice that had only recently finished crying.
Nicky said, "Dad! How did you find us? We was trying to hide really good..."
"Ask Hugo to explain," Kevin said. "Why don't you go up and talk to him right now..." Kevin said wanting to be alone with Jilder but not wanting to make it obvious.
So Nicky began retreating on his knees from the crawl space under the gazebo. His suit pants were covered with mud and he had spider webs in his bright red hair, but he was oblivious of these details.
"Well, Jilder, you sure told those guys!" Kevin began.
"Yeah! They were saying my dad is a liar, and that's not true--- they were the ones lying." Jilder replied.
"You are right, Jilder. And the men who don't know Hugo or you or me or any of the people who helped Hugo are wrong." Kevin tried to build common ground with Jilder.
"Yeah!" Jilder agreed.
"And nobody knew that we would have a problem convincing these doctors of what Dr. Kavanaugh did for Hugo, but it turns out we got a problem: showing these doctors how wrong they are." Kevin said.
"Yeah! I told em..." Jilder said.
"That you did. You went right to the point and said it better than anybody else could have." And then Kevin paused, not sure of where he ought to go with it from here...
"But you know something, Jilder, it looks like this is the time for you to see that a man, your dad, does not have to sit by and allow himself to be maligned without calmly pointing out that he did not do ANYTHING bad at all, and REFUSING TO ACCEPT other people's bad remarks about him.
"(To malign, Jilder, means somebody says bad things about you, maybe untrue or harmful things...)," Kevin added.
Then Jilder pointed out: "But Hugo didn't say nothin. That's why I couldn't sit still and take it!"
"Yes! It's very hard to stay calm when somebody maligns you and just not accept what they say. Hugo does not need to justify himself. He is right and he speaks the truth that he will repeat over and over, calmly, to these men until they begin to realize that they are wrong."
"But he didn't SAY anything, Kevin..." Jilder countered.
"Not in such an immediately-satisfying way as YOU did. No. But Hugo is a man now, not a boy, and he understands how hard it is for other men to admit that they are wrong. He knows that he must remain calm and speak the truth as often as necessary, being unwilling to agree that he has done anything wrong, WHEN CERTAINLY HE HAS DONE NOTHING WRONG. Then, in time, if the men are not too blinded by their own minds, they will know that Hugo is telling the truth.
"Hugo KNOWS, Jilder." Kevin emphasized.
"He and Dr. Kavanaugh and the others KNOW and are asking the men in the lecture hall to BELIEVE until they can KNOW, what the truth of your dad's life is."
Jilder sat quietly thinking about what Kevin had just told him. "Do you think I did anything bad?" Jilder asked Kevin.
"No. No, Jilder. But! You made a mistake that anyone your age might make... You didn't include the 'CALM' part in your remark to the seminar, and you used some words that can only make somebody else think THAT THEY REALLY ARE BAD PEOPLE, when really they are just unable to understand-- their minds tell them that things only work one way." Kevin said immediately realizing that he'd probably become too sophisticated for an eleven year old...
Jilder just listened and then sat quietly again not saying a word for a long time.
"Well I did say that they were mean, ignorant, stupid and ugly like the big spiders in the museum... Maybe that was too much?" Jilder asked.
"Not exactly untrue, but, yeah, a little too strong if you want to convince them that they're wrong... " Kevin said.
"Maybe I could a said 'your words hurt me and my dad' and then.... I could a said 'you really don't understand at all 'cause you don't know my dad or Dr. Kavanaugh'" Jilder looked into Kevin's eyes questioning whether his second choice of words were better.
"MUCH, better, Jilder." Kevin responded.
"And then I KNOW that I shouldn't a told them that they are ugly as spiders, but, Kevin, you know, they FEEL ugly like the spiders!" Jilder confided, conveying how great he felt the correspondence between the rejection of the men in the seminar and the ugliness of the hairy spiders in the museum.
"Yep! That was a great line, Jilder. But probably a little much for real life..." Kevin agreed.
"Well, I gotta go make things right. When do we go back to the seminar?" Jilder asked.
"Let me find out," Kevin said. Then he yelled out to Hugo and the others, "Does anybody know what time it is?"
Hugo yelled back, "Yes. It's about 2:50. I'm going to have to go back into the lecture hall. I'll leave Nicky and Shannon here in the gazebo. Will you take care of them, Hon? " Hugo said.
"No. Wait, Hugo. Jilder and I are coming out right now. Jilder wants to go to the seminar and make a retraction (uh? maybe apology) for his outburst." Kevin yelled back.
"Jilder wants to do WHAT????" Hugo said.
"Wait'll I get out there and I'll explain," Kevin said. And.... true to his word... he and Jilder climbed out from under the gazebo, both muddy but ready to return to the seminar.
Dr. Kavanaugh brought the meeting to order for it's final hour. Hugo, Jilder, the other two boys, and Kevin, all accompanied the doctor on the dais.
"Ladies and Gentlemen, with your indulgence, before we begin our question and answer period and provide opportunities for several of you to examine Mr. Hugo Ramirez, Master Jilder Ramirez, Hugo's son, wishes to address the assembly.
Jilder rose and went to the microphone, oblivious of the several hundred pairs of eyes on him, being too single-minded to deal with anything but making his world right.
"My other dad, Kevin, talked to me during the break. I'm sorry I said stuff to hurt you. That was wrong. But I have to tell you that when you said that my dad was lying, I was really hurt too because I KNOW he is not lying. And I think your words hurt him too...
"I also want you to know that I didn't think about, you don't know my dad at all. And you don't know me either; so maybe in a while, after you know us, you'll KNOW we're tellin the truth....
"Finally, I know that calling you SPIDERS was really rude, and I'm sorry I did that. I just FELT bad when I heard you talking about my dad, bad the way I did when I visited the spider museum. I'm sorry. I hope you will want to know how to make these operations that Dr. Kavanaugh has invented, and you will go help other people who are deaf too, like Hugo. And I'm sorry I acted like I did. Thank You."
And as he was pivoting to return to his seat next to Nicky, the hall broke out into resounding applause-- spontaneously-- indicating that indeed they accepted Jilder's apology. Jilder continued to his seat and looked at Hugo in complete seriousness. Hugo rose and went to Jilder and gave him a hug, a pat on his back, and shook his hand; then Hugo returned to his seat next to Dr. Kavanaugh.
The second hour was not nearly as contentious as the first, although the physicians in attendance were just as persistent in their cross-examination of Hugo and Dr. Kavanaugh and the others about the evidence. Several physicians came up on the dais and looked closely at the place that the videos revealed as the site of the surgery. And as Dr. Kavanaugh had admitted earlier, the site was healthy, healed, and Hugo's hearing was perfect.
What could the many good doctors think now? Only the questions remained: How did it happen? Why did it happen? Can they restore hearing in others the way Hugo's hearing had been restored. Most BELIEVED that they could do it too. MOST were ready to pursue these latest medical advances in order to KNOW--eventually-- that Hugo was not an exception-- only a miracle that others could experience too, given the chance, their own love, and their own willingness.
It was precisely 4pm when Jerome pulled up in front of the lecture hall as planned... except: BOTH Brandon and Max were in the car with him.
When Murph saw that the car was not empty, he started yelling "Dad! Brandon!", and he ran ahead of the group toward the town car.
Kevin together with Hugo, who had one arm around Jilder and the other around Nicky, followed 'Murph'.
Just before reaching the car, Hugo leaned over and gave Jilder a kiss on the top of his head.