I have always been a dreamer, and for surprisingly practical reasons. Reality sucked. School ate up far too much time for one and for two, well; it ate up too much time! Besides as time passes I find that I have little or nothing in common with the people around me. Every day I stare out the window as I receive lessons and watch the world pass me by, never quite seeing things from anyone else's point of view I suppose the fact that I was gay just complicated that matter. I mean, it can be nerve wracking to ask someone out, one hundred-fold if you're gay and don't know if anyone else is.
This small town just wasn't ready for someone like me I guess, even though history clearly shows I could have lived a normal life centuries ago. Funny how we have the idea that people from our past were somehow less intelligent than we are now. In some ways they were highly advanced, like in the idea that you could sleep with whatever you chose. Of course they had a strange sense of wit as well. King Edward of England had a tube forced into his anus and a red-hot poker rammed into his innards to kill him to avoid marking the body externally. It was thought a witty end due to the fact that he was a homosexual. So you see, he wasn't killed for being homosexual, it was just an amusement in the end. No pun intended.
Anyway school was better that what passed for home. My parents were a great pair. Somewhere for someone, I guess. They left me behind as a ward of the state right after birth. In fact, they didn't even take me home from the hospital. Do you think they knew I was gay way back then? Naa. Probably would have aborted me if they knew that soon, nice people that they were. Anyway, I make my way at Homer House, a group home for teenage boys. The staff likes me ok, and is usually nicer to me than they are to the kids that will pass through for six months or so since they know I live there permanently. But it's a bit false, you know? I never get hugged, never been kissed goodnight or had a bedtime story read to me. Life's a bitch I guess, huh?
This old town I live in is steeped in history, all kinds of interesting stuff happened here like a battle, just over the next hill from the school, one of the bloodiest in our history I've read. It's said that the conquering army was especially bloodthirsty here for the amusement of the King, who had come in person to watch the battle. The invading army slaughtered the previous occupants and claimed this land as their own, and it remains so to this day.
I was supposed to be in gym class as my last hour but it was frequently too much for me to bear, so I was heading over to the battlefield to get some peace. You see, since I hadn't dated a girl at all, or even tried to I had been labeled and certain all-male functions weren't always done with sportsmanlike conduct in mind. So I would immerse myself in the past, sometimes hearing the battles rage as I slept on a grassy knoll, or dream of being the consort to a handsome young prince. Anything was better than gym god knows who needs all the bullshit anyway? I had long ago realized this was the best way to do things, my escape from gym was much better than the all too real slings and arrows of my classmates. Without going into too much detail, let's just say that somehow they would always `forget' we were only playing touch football if I happened to have the ball.
Today I wandered over to one of the last buildings remaining from the battle, what was once a tower I think, now just a crumbling circular stone wall with a space where the door should have been. The highest portion of the remaining wall was about six feet high, but about a third was just gone. I walked into the largish structure, which was half buried in the hill it had been built upon, and imagined what it must have been like to be a lord here, the enormous responsibility of ruling a land and of guiding your army to victory. I walked, lost in the past as I imagined the fierce battles and the discoveries that were made when this structure was whole. The Middle Ages were such a strange time, so full of discovery and advancement, but also a haven for a bloodlust like no other time in history.
I slowly traced around the remaining wall as I had a million times before, and as I walked I traced my fingers along the rough-hewn stone and felt small pieces of mortar crumble under my light touch. If only the stone's could report on what they have seen in their time, that sure would beat gym class all to hell! I glanced over the low wall at my gym class in the distance playing soccer. Damn, if I had known I would have played sick just to watch all those boys in shorts! Oh well, life goes on. I sat behind the wall so I was not in view of the school grounds and looked about the flagstones on the floor. My favorite was a dark gray stone with a green streak running through on one corner. I knelt down to inspect the stone up close. I was pretty sure the green was a type of quartz; at least it looked like that. I stood to cross to the opposite side of the tower; the hill on the other side was my normal daydreaming spot. There was a small stream gurgling along and it was very calming to me. I stepped forward and had the odd jarring sensation you get when you are climbing steps in the dark and your foot expects another step, and instead you find yourself trying to keep your balance from the unexpected floor height. I looked down as a matter of course, just as I would if I had tripped over my own feet. Not that I do, or ever have, or could do...oh hell, you know.
The gray portion of the stone seemed to have sheared away from the green and sunk into the ground roughly an inch and a half. On closer inspection the green edge that now showed clearly seemed to be smooth, almost as if it had been ground flat. I pushed with my hand on the gray portion and it gave way another quarter inch or so before lodging firmly in place. Driven by curiosity I began to inspect the area vacated by the stone. The sides that it had left exposed were smooth to the touch, almost as if this stone were portions of a puzzle, like Jenga.
It felt quite solid now and showed no signs of budging anymore than it had already. I stood on the stone again, and then pushed with the toe of my sneaker trying to force the stone down. At last out of pure mulishness I pulled the green portion with my fingers and to my amazement it slid across the top of the flagstone with an audible click.
I peered into the space now vacated by the green stone to find a hollowed out area in the neighboring stone. I hesitantly reached into the hollow with my heart racing, this was so cool! My hand clasped around something in the gloom and as I tried to withdraw the item it held steadfastly. Well, what do YOU think I did? I pulled harder, naturally. I felt the object move, and then snap off, which sent me tumbling away from the hole along the remains of the stone floor. I righted myself and found that the object in my hand was a worm eaten piece of wood that looked like the remnants of a handle. I walked back to the opening and knelt down to look a bit closer. I could see the broken off portion of handle protruding from a circular piece of iron attached to a rod that disappeared into a slot in the stone. I grasped the remaining handle and pulled again. Slowly the handle moved, screeching in protest. A low rumble could be heard and the vibration from beneath my feet was unmistakable. What had I just done? I stared in amazement as the far wall began to vibrate, then move in slowly. No, not in, it swung like on a hinge. How could someone have not found this before? I walked towards the doorway and saw a stone corridor leading into the darkness. I realized now that this tunnel was buried under the mound of dirt that made this ruin look partially submerged. I peered into the opening in amazement. This would make me famous! This was so cool! I stepped into the mouth of the doorway, and then moved in a few steps before standing still to allow my eyes to adjust to the gloom.
I glanced at my watch. One twenty two, a half an hour to explore this before the group home van showed up. Man I was going to be on the news for sure with this! I waited impatiently for my eyes to adjust and then I heard a powerful clap as the door swung violently shut behind me and I was trapped in the darkness. Panic set in quickly and I rushed headlong into the door pushing and prodding and finally beating on the stone with my bare hands. Tears borne from a fear of the dark and maybe being entombed in here for the rest of my life sent my heart galloping at a frantic pace. After a few minutes of that I began to realize that it was slowly getting brighter in the corridor. I turned slowly to see where the light was coming from, must be another way out! I stepped farther into the musty smelling corridor and slowly made my way forward. The walls were rough like the tower stones, but the floor had been worn smooth by use it seemed. I turned a corner and found myself looking at a blue light about 4 feet off the ground. I say light, but it was more like a glowing orb. It's light faded and was immediately taken up by another about two feet down, and then it too winked out to be replaced by yet another light a bit farther down the corridor. The one nearest me lit again and I had the opportunity to study it better. It seemed to be a ball sitting in an iron cup that was fastened to the stone walls. I reached out to touch the light source, having completely forgotten the being buried alive thing, and felt the surface.
It was cool to the touch and had a springy, gel like feel to it. I watched as it grew brighter at my touch, then winked out. I watched each orb turn on in succession and was vaguely reminded of an airport runway.
I moved on down the corridor and around the corner to the next light. I was mildly surprised not to have spider webs clinging about the place, not that I was complaining you understand. The hallway made another quick turn and I was faced with stairs descending deeper into the earth. I hesitated for a moment and then proceeded down the steps, after all the door was shut behind me, right? The light of another orb could be seen and I reached the bottom of the stairs and found myself in a huge underground chamber. To call it ornate would be like calling a Rolls Royce an economy car! Gold gilt ran up the pillars strategically placed to hold the domed roof up. Archways with jewel encrusted keystones stood guard between each pillar.
The room was vacant of furnishings of any kind, although there were two silver pillars standing alone in the center of the chamber. As I studied the room further I took in the vaulted ceilings and the fanciful artwork that covered the stone ceiling- sea nymphs, dragons and wizards in various poses. I walked to the nearest wall, which showed a castle under siege, fire
billowed from the walled in courtyard. Soldiers battled from horseback and on foot while archers let fly from the castle parapets.
I walked along the length of the artwork and noted the stunning detail brought to the soldier's faces and at last came to the end of the mural. A man sat upon a charger gazing out over the field of battle, and a younger version of him was mounted on a roan stallion by his side. The second horseman was handsome with a rugged, angular face. That's not what caught my eye and my breath in my chest, however. Beside him was a boy my age carrying a satchel on his back. He had short brown hair and the most beautiful face I had ever seen and eyes that were like jade. He was slim, but I had the idea he was well toned under the tunic and breeches he wore. He seemed to be gazing at the carnage with a sad expression, which made me feel...hey, what artwork! This guy is done so well I was actually feeling emotion for him!
After dragging myself from the image that had so fired my imagination, and loins I might add, I continued around the room drinking in the murals that were so eerily well done. At last I reached the center of the room, inspecting the two silver pillars that stood about seven feet tall. They reminded me of the physician's symbol, you know the snake wrapped around the staff? Only it wasn't a snake, just a continuous loop of silver that ran the length of the pillar. I noted a blue slab on the floor, cut in a circle so that it looked like one of the light orbs I had seen. There appeared to be writing on the outside of the disc though. I stood on the circle and tried to sound out the alien language that was written at the circle's edge. I turned around completely while sounding out the syllables. So weird.
Somewhere in the back of my mind I noted that the room had more light. I smelled fresh mown hay, which was impossible since it was January and the snow had long since covered the fields. I also felt a gentle breeze flowing through my hair. I turned around looking for the source of the wind and noticed the area between the two pillars had changed significantly.
There was the inside of a barn in front of me.
And the boy with the light brown hair and green eyes was looking at me open-mouthed.
So what did you think? Comments accepted at the_asmodean@hotmail.com, or visit my web site at http://www.asmodeanskeep.homestead.com/asmodean.html
All mail will be answered.