Hey People! I know it's only been a couple of days since the last chapter, but I have them pre-written, so I figured I'll just post them one right after the other. Thanks for the emails..keep 'em comin!
Chapter 8
I awoke the next morning still on the couch; but Cody had gone. I sat up, disappointedly and looked around. Over to my left were the sliding glass doors out to the deck in the back. The curtains were open, letting the sun warm the room. It was coming up slowly over the horizon, reflecting off of the water. That's the only thing I liked about the morning; waking up to see that amazing sight.
I rubbed the sleep out of my eyes and stood up. I felt a lot better, like a small weight had been lifted off my shoulder. It helped to tell someone about it. I stretched and went into the kitchen where my mom was sitting at the table with my Dad. My Dad read the paper while he sipped at his coffee. I took in the warm smell of the coffee in the pot. I didn't like the taste, but I could smell it forever. I went to the fridge and got a bottle of water out. I hated any form of juice and my mom never let me drink Pepsi in the morning, so I settled on water. I took a seat at the table next to the window and stared outside. "What time did you get in last night?" My mom asked as she flipped through some magazine. I continued to stare out the window. "I'm not sure. I left a little early from the party." I rested my chin on the back of the chair. "Why?" She asked. Couldn't she ever just take my first answer and let it go? "I didn't feel too well." That wasn't a lie exactly. "Are you ok? You need something?" "No, I'm fine. I just got a headache." That was a bit more of a lie, but a little one. Finally, she let it go. "So how's Jessy?" She added. I cringed. I had left without telling her. She was probably either worried sick or pissed off. I got up from the table and headed up to my room to call her. My mom shot me a strange look, but continued to read some article about Celine Dion in her magazine.
I reached my room and closed the door, walking over to the nightstand and picking up the phone off its base. I dialed Jessy's number and waited for an answer. "Hello?" Jessy answered tiredly. I glanced at the clock. It was only 8 o' clock. I woke up before 10 on a Saturday? "Jessy?" "Jack? What time is it?" She yawned. "Sorry, I know it's early. I just wanted to apologize for running out last night." "You ran out?" She asked, seemingly in the dark. Automatically, I felt somewhat hurt. Hadn't she even noticed my disappearance? That music really must have put everyone in a trance. Or maybe she just didn't notice. "You didn't realize I was gone?" I asked. I guess the hurt showed in my voice because she tried to correct herself. "No..I mean, I realized you were gone, but I just figured you got tired. I mean, you seemed a little beat to begin with." She got quiet as if waiting for me to respond. "Oh." "I'm sorry, Jack. I guess I just got kinda caught up in the atmosphere or something." "It's ok. No big." "Is everything alright? I mean, why did you run out last night?" She asked, sounding more awake now. "No reason, I'll let you get back to sleep now. Later, Jess." I hung up the phone, not giving her a chance to reply. That was probably way too obvious, but I didn't care. She hadn't even noticed I was gone. What did I care anyway? But it hurt. The doorbell interrupted my thoughts. Must be someone for Mom or Dad, I assumed. I then went in the bathroom and turned on the shower. I stripped down and stepped in. Nothing made me feel better more than having steaming hot water wash away all my problems. Even if it was only for the 5 minutes or so that I was in there.
I turned off the water and grabbed the towel off the rack. I dried off and wrapped it around my waist, pushing the already cracked door open into my room. I jumped when I saw Cody sitting on my bed. "Cody! Geez, you scared me." I smiled. I amused myself sometimes at how jumpy I could be. "Sorry. Your Mom told me to come on up. I heard the shower running and thought I'd wait out here." He explained. I nodded and turned towards my dresser, rummaging through the drawers. "No problem. So what are you in town for?" I asked, pulling out a pair of boxers and some jeans. I glanced at him to show him I was still listening, and stepped behind the door of the bathroom. I dropped the towel to the floor and threw it in the laundry basket. "I, uh." He cleared his throat. He sounded preoccupied. I slid on my boxers and stepped into my jeans, pulling them up. I then pulled the door open and Cody immediately jerked his head straight up. I shot him a strange look, but dismissed it. I grabbed a belt off my dresser and put it on, zipping and buttoning my jeans as well as buckling the belt. "Cat got your tongue?" I asked when Cody still said nothing. He snapped back. "Huh? Oh sorry. Anyway.what was the question?" I laughed at him and walked by him, ruffling his hair playfully. "You seem distracted, Cody." I looked at him. He looked nervous. "Something wrong?" I persisted. He looked at me and smiled, shaking his head. "No." "So why are you down here?" I asked my question again. "Getting a few things we left." I nodded and proceeded to put my socks on. I glanced over at him and my eyes went to the bathroom door. It had slid open about how far I had it open as I had gotten dressed. You could see right where I was standing through the crack in the door. My face turned beat red, but I didn't say anything. Was he watching me get dressed? Did he.like..what he saw? I started to feel a little flustered.
Finally, Cody turned to me and sighed. "Here's the deal. The only reason I came along with my Mom on this trip was because I wanted to see you." He blurted that out and then looked down, blushing. I smiled and nudged him in the shoulder. "Aw, now that's so sweet," I joked. He didn't laugh. He looked back up at me with a look of fear. Fear of what, I don't know. "What's the matter?" I asked, concerned. "JC, I.I.." He fumbled with his words. "What?" I urged him. "Ok, let's try this again." He whispered, almost to himself. "Try wha." before I could finish, his lips were on mine. I jumped at first, but I couldn't get myself to stop it. I couldn't believe how amazing it felt to feel his lips against mine. I moved my lips, signaling that I was returning the kiss and he seemed to relax. I brought my hands up to his face and held his cheeks with them, holding his lips pressed against mine. I parted my lips and he let his tongue slide in my mouth. He tasted so good. I felt his hands at my sides. They felt so warm against my bare skin.
I ran my fingers through his hair as he continued to kiss me gently. I was overwhelmed with a feeling of God knows what. I couldn't explain it, but I wanted more. I scooted back, pulling him with me and slowly laid myself down on the bed, my head resting on the pillows. We pulled apart and he smiled down at me sweetly. Oh, that smile. I pulled his face back down against mine and we continued to kiss, more passionately this time. I fidgeted with the hem of his shirt as he hovered over me. I was so caught up. It was all happening so fast. Wait a minute, this was happening way too fast. "Cody.." I said between kisses. "Cody, we can't." He pulled away, a look of hurt filling his beautiful eyes. I sat up, propping myself up by my elbows. "I'm sorry. It's just..its just too much." I shook my head and slid out of the bed. He continued to stare at me with that heart-wrenching look in his eyes. "Cody.. I know I feel..something, for you but I'm just figuring things out. I can't be with you because I have to figure some things out. "What is there to figure out?" He asked softly. "I just have a lot of figuring out to do..about what I want to do. Which road I wanna go down." "But you know which road you're meant to take." "Do I? I don't know, Cody. I look down one road and I see a wife and children and my parents being old and gray, watching me and thinking how proud they are of me.. and I look down the other one and I see hate and disgust from everyone I love. I see pain." "You don't know if that's what's down that road. You're just seeing the beginning of those roads. Along down the way, that road you thought would bring you happiness is going to bring you nothing but emptiness. You might have a wife and kids, but you could never love her like you could love." He looked up at me and sighed. "I just don't know. I have to figure things out. I need a friend." He nodded finally and then looked back up at me, smiling. He stood up and put a hand on my shoulder. "I'm your friend..always." I smiled and pulled him into a hug. Damn, he smelled good. I pulled away. I couldn't take that temptation. We both smiled at each other. That was the one moment in the past 6 months that I'd felt completely comfortable with anyone.
Maybe letting him go was the biggest mistake of my life. Maybe it was the smartest thing I could've done. Who knows? Time will only tell. Saying goodbye to him as he got in his car to leave was so hard. I wanted so badly to throw my arms around him and never let him go, but something in my heart told me that I had made the right decision. I wasn't ready for something like that. I had a lot more figuring out to do before I could go starting something with anybody, male or female. That felt weird just thinking about it. I sighed as I watched Cody drive off and turned sadly to walk back in my house. I knew what I had to do. I had to end things with Jessy. And the sooner the better, so she doesn't assume more than she already does.
As I entered my house, the phone was ringing. No one seemed to realize it, so I ran and picked it up. "Hello?" I answered. "Hey Jack." Came a less than cheerful response. "Jessy? Hey, what's up?" I asked, a little concerned at her tone of voice. "Something wrong?" I added. She sighed loudly into the phone. I knew something was seriously up whenever she did that. "What is it? Did something happen?" You'd think I would pick up the hints, wouldn't you. I mean, DUH! "No, nothing happened. I need to talk to you." "Oh." Ok, that's when I knew. I mean, that phrase is synonymous with "let's just be friends." "Jack, I've got that bad feeling again and I want to stop it before it starts. We haven't really gotten that serious, but.." "It's ok Jess. You don't need to go on. I totally understand. Actually, I was going to talk to you about it too." "Really?" "Yea," I replied. "Ok, well that's good. Friends, right?" "Forever!" I said enthusiastically. Last thing I needed was to lose any friends, especially one as good as Jessy. We said our good-byes pretty quickly and hung up. I felt relieved. One less thing to worry about. I needed all the freebies I could get. I sighed. A few moments later, I decided to go running on the beach. Hadn't done that in a while. So I got ready and was off within 15 minutes.