Thorned Rose

A Thorned Rose: Part 2

Disclaimer: Well, u know the routine so nobody portrayed here is really gay in life and all that crap. Whatever. Um, one last thing is that I hope that more people will start emailing and all that - anything is fine ...as long as you're polite. If u don't like the story, tell me why u didn't like it and give any suggestions - don't tear my story apart callously, please. Remember, all comments are welcome at Benj_thall@hotmail.com.

Chapter 2: The Wharf

I glanced impatiently at my watch. The time showed a quarter to six. I wasn't exactly late but I preferred to be on time. Buttons was already done though I had to send him back to his room for a brush. His hair was just a mess. When he rummaged inside his room, Jer popped out, hair carefully brushed, shirt neatly tucked in, pants decently pressed. He paused to rearrange a bracelet around his wrist, looking at the mirror. "How do I look?" he asked, still looking at his reflection. "Like Richie rich," I replied, dryly. He rolled his eyes at me before sitting next to me on the couch. Oh well, one down, three to go.

Chris was done by the time Buttons ran out of his room, brush in hand. He waited for me to pull it through his hair which I did while I looked Chris up and down. As usual, shirt half tucked out in the way he described as "cool", jeans with rips at the knees, nails on one hand painted black. I sighed at that. Teenage fashion always bewildered me. I can only say one word when faced with such choice examples of the teenage mind. WHY? "Done, Buttons," I told him, patting his cheek. Without a word, he dashed off again, brush in hand, to his room. Well, two down, two to go.

"What's everyone waiting for?" I turned around, in surprise. Zach was leaning against the wall, already dressed much in the same way that Chris was, though, I was thankful to note that Zach hadn't done his nails. "You," I answered, curtly. Waiting isn't my favorite pastime. "Buttons isn't here yet, you know," he pointed out. "I'm here, I'm here," Chad yelled, somewhat breathlessly. Finally!

"OK, guys, let's go!" I herded all four of them out the door, locking up before following them down the stairs. When we were out in the open air, I breathed in deeply. It wasn't dark yet but night was fast approaching. Must be the summer, I guess. The "Wharf" is this restaurant that's also a pub at the same time. It's pretty old but it has the best reputation here in the Stilts. They serve seafood there and everything else, from Italian to Mexican to Chinese. Leo, the guy in charge there, is pretty cool -- he's quite nice and all. Not to mention he's pretty generous with his money. I heard that he has restaurants all over Florida which might explain the wealth.

When I stepped in to the "Wharf", I was assailed by that same mixture of smells that always pervades the place. First, you have the lingering scent of the vase of roses that each table has; then, there's the smell of all those types of food; and, finally, the delicate or sometimes overpowering scent of the customers. You get high-class ladies, dressed in very chic gowns, oozing wealth and luxury with their perfume; you get the men, distinguished and in suits, with their cologne; the kids that smell of bubblegum and soda; and then, there's the sometimes fishy smell of the seafood that the "Wharf" is so famous for. All in all, it's a combination of aromas that you won't tend to forget. I glanced at the guys when they entered the place. Buttons and Chris looked to be OK but Jer and Zach looked a little ill. "You two OK?" I asked in concern. The both of them nodded but still they looked ill.

I looked for Leo and finally spied him standing by the bar, talking with Daniel, the bartender. The two looked incongruous standing close together. Leo looked to be over fifty, though he was only forty-eight, with silver in his hair. He was somewhat stocky, beefy-looking, with hair all over his arms. Double chins wobbled as he chatted animatedly with Daniel who looked bored in truth. Leo paused now and then to rub at a flat nose that was "interesting" in size as well. Daniel, on the other hand, was in his mid-twenties, slender and dark-haired, his arms almost devoid of hair. It was quite hard to believe they were actually father and son. I shook myself from my daydreams and headed towards the two. As I walked over, Leo saw me and stood, waiting, arms open wide, roaring, "There you are, Allie-boy! I was thinking you weren't going to show up! Who are all these fine young men? Your brother, right? Here for dinner? Don't worry, Allie, m'boy -- dinner's on me! Daniel, get some drinks for these young men!" All this before I could say a thing and then, he was off and away, headed towards the kitchen -- not before ruffling Buttons' hair. He glared at Leo but the stocky man moved away without noticing.

"Dad is like a force of nature, isn't he? Just rolls right over you without even noticing you. I've had that experience before," Daniel told me, leaning on his elbow, chuckling at the wide-eyed expressions on my brothers' faces. "Hey, you guys, what will it be?" Chris and Zach looked at me questioningly, and I nodded at them. "Two tequilas." Buttons looked over the bottles behind the counter before answering, "Coke, please", an answer echoed by Jer. Daniel Mccoy smiled at them before turning his blue eyes towards me. "You, Allie? What will it be? Fa says to put it on the house and I couldn't agree more."

I smiled at him. "Just a coke for me, too, please."

Daniel widened his eyes at me in mock surprise. "Come on, try something harder. You never give me a chance! You know that if you got drunk, I could always help you into your bed," followed by a suggestive leer. I laughed. Daniel never stopped trying. Though he was gay, Daniel would have been horrified, I guess, if I ever took him seriously. He seemed to be serious enough with his lover of three years, Edmund. So, it was a game -- one that neither of us took seriously and that both enjoyed.

"Don't be silly, Danny! If I did get drunk, I'll never be able to sing, and your Dad would fire you instantly!" I laughed. He handed the drinks to my brothers, eyes never leaving mine, a grin on his face. "Yeah, but the way you sing, Fa will never know the difference anyway!" I patted him on his arm, gently, laughing still, before leading the four of them to a table that was pretty close to the stage but near the shadows so that I could join them without anyone seeing me. Laura served us, eyes twinkling, saying that we had some "really special guests" tonight. We ordered after a while, Laura getting exasperated, as I supervised choices for Buttons. For some reason, he never believed that dessert doesn't constitute a meal. When we were done, she breathed a sigh of relief, LOUDLY, before turning away towards the kitchen. As I glanced around, I noticed that the place was already filling up. I guess I had to go quite soon.

"Allie?" I turned back to face Chris.

"Yeah, what?"

He seemed to hesitate for a moment, something he usually never did. I was mystified as he struggled to ask me a question that he just couldn't word. "It's that Danny. You and he aren't serious, are you?"

I almost laughed at the question but Chris looked so confused that I answered him. "No, we're not serious. Danny already has a partner. It's just a game."

Chris gulped. "You mean, he's gay?"

I looked at him in surprise. We had had this conversation before so I couldn't really understand why he was so uncomfortable. "Yeah, he is. Why? Are you uncomfortable?"

"No . . . not really . . . it's just that . . . ."

"Just what?" I demanded.

"Well, he seems so normal . . ."

I sighed. "Chris, being gay doesn't mean that you're effeminate. It just means that you have different preferences when it comes to love, OK? So, I can't really see why you're so uneasy."

He squirmed in his seat, Zach nudging him in the ribs. "Pay no attention to him, Allie. Chris is just being a homophobic jerk," Zach explained.

"I am not!" glared Chris. "It's just that, for a moment, I thought he was hitting on Allie and I . . . ." he trailed off miserably.

I began to get an inkling of what he was trying to say. Chris wasn't homophobic but he was uneasy when he saw me flirting with another gay guy. I had a suspicion. "Chris, you're not scared that Danny's going to hurt me, are you?"

Chris nodded. Oh, the child! It was sweet, I guess, but silly as well. "Chris, I know how to take care of myself, OK? Besides, Danny's actually a very nice person. You'll like him if you knew him more."

He shrugged but I was still touched. Dinner came and by this time, the place was quite packed, except for those few reserved tables that were empty. I glanced at my watch. It was five minutes past seven. Usually, I began at six but thanks to Leo, I had the chance to enjoy dinner with my brothers. Still, sitting around wasn't going to earn money. The band was already set up and I saw a few customers glancing impatiently at the stage where Nick was softly strumming his guitar. The light was dimmed necessarily, to maintain the correct mood but not dim enough so that you couldn't read. Rather, it was dim enough so obscure faces at tables and at the stage, where I had purposely requested that light be dim enough so that no one could see me clearly. I got up, told the guys to go on with their meal, asking them to order what ever they wanted -- except alcohol -- and crept backstage. Nick saw me and gestured to me.

I waited, that feeling of excitement and nervousness present once more. I clenched my fists together to keep then from trembling, and it was from far away that I heard Nick speak into the mike, "Ladies and gentlemen, the moment that you've been waiting for. Our star singer has finally arrived. Please give a round of applause for -- ALLIE TABERNER!!"

I parted the curtains and stepped silently to my stool before the mike. There was only silence for a moment, and then, thunderous applause. It never failed to shock me that so many people were waiting to hear me sing. Danny once told me that many of them were regulars who brought in new patrons who then became regulars. All to hear me sing. It was more than enough to humble anyone. I stepped into the limelight that Leo and I had compromised to. "Thank you, thank you so much," I said softly, looking at the crowd. My gaze switched over to where Buttons was waving his arms at me enthusiastically, whistling and hollering, Chris and Zach watching me with gleeful grins, and Jer smiling proudly at me. I smiled back at all of them. I was glad that they were there. "For my first song, a song that I hope soothes you during this beautiful night, is an old one by the Carpenters. Some of you may know it -- 'A Ticket to Ride'". The applause faded away as they waited.

I sat down at my stool, lowering the mike, waiting for Shauna to start the soft drum beats that only the band and I could hear. I paused, licking my lips, and then began. "I think I'm gonna be sad . . . I think it's today, yeah . . . The boy who's driving me mad is going away . . . . He's got a ticket to ride . . . He's got a ticket to ride . . . he's got a ticket to ride and he don't care."

I heard Nick murmur, "one, two . . a one, two," and the whole band began playing with Nick, Leigh and Casey on the guitars, Shauna on the drums, and Lynn on the piano. In full rock, I sang as soulfully as I could, different from the sad, quiet tone I had used.

"He said that living with me was bringing him down, yeah . . . he would never be free while I was around . . . he's got a ticket to ride . . . he's got a ticket to ride . . . he's got a ticket to ride and he don't care . . ." I sang, putting everything I had in it, losing myself in the music, losing myself in the song, losing everything until nothing mattered anymore but the music I felt everywhere.

"What do you think?"

JC looked around the table as he voiced that question, to see how the other had reacted to the remarkable voice that Allie had. He glanced around him, thankful that no one had quite seen them come in -- partly due to the fact that most of them were simply enraptured by Allie's voice, a voice that made a person feel so much. He looked back at the group around him. Justin had his eyes closed, smiling to himself as he listened. Chris and Joey were nodding in time to the music, and Lance just looked . . . drawn in. JC glanced back at Allie, his hands around the mike as he breathed into it, singing gently with all the talent that he had.

"Where did you find him?" Justin asked, eyes still closed. "He's amazing. And you say that he hasn't had any format training? Shit, JC, this guy is better than either you or me!" He opened his eyes, staring at JC. "So, this is why you took us out to dinner, huh?"

"Yeah," JC admitted. "But if I hadn't, all of you would never have heard that voice, right?"

"I can't believe that he would stay hidden for long with that voice! How come no one's ever mentioned this at all before? I mean, it would have been in the papers or something, right?" Chris asked, looking pretty normal, having removed the attachments to his hair that he customarily wore. All part of the big plan to avoid conspicuous attention. It seemed to be working pretty well so far. Except for the green-eyed kid who glanced at JC from time to time, a thoughtful frown on his face. Thanking the dim lighting in the "Wharf", JC turned his attention back towards Chris.

"From what I hear, this place isn't exactly top talent-scouting ground. Did you know, even the local church choir is spectacular?"

"Yeah, but what can we do about this?" Lance asked, looking JC in the eye. "I mean, we aren't agents ourselves."

"Well, we could always introduce Don to him," Joey suggested, referring to their own agent. "I mean, look at how he whipped us into shape! With this guy, Don would work wonders!"

JC grimaced. "I guess but, frankly, I wouldn't want to lose out on this guy. If only we could somehow link him to us in a way . . ."

Justin paused at that, fork half-lifted. "I have a plan, you guys. How about this . . ."

The food lay forgotten as the plan was worked out, sometimes with a vehement "NO!" or an uncertain "I guess . . ." and, sometimes, even a very certain "Yes!" As JC leaned back in his chair, he was surprised at how the day had worked out. Not only had he help 'discover' Allie but he had 'discovered' a good place to eat with good food, good service, and the right ambiance. Things were just working out. His gaze returned, once more, to Allie on the stage, unaware that a certain green-eyed youth with shoulder-length dark hair was, in turn, observing him with a pensive frown.

I was half-exhausted by the time I got my break. Singing non-stop for two hours, and more, isn't exactly easy. I staggered backstage after a promise to return in fifteen minutes to continue. I crept back to my table where there was a furious argument raging in careful whispers.

"I did I tell you! I saw him!" Jer exclaimed softly.

"You're dreaming, Jer! Why would N'Sync be here, huh? Just b'cos you like boy bands . . ." Chris scoffed. I lowered myself gingerly into my seat, gulping down my water gratefully. Zach was watching the two of them with interest with Buttons stealing ice-cream from all the other three when they weren't looking. I grabbed Buttons' arm, giving him a warning look. He stuck his tongue out at me but was content to start on his own.

"Yeah, well, I know you like them too! You bought both the CDs that they came out with!" Jer retorted. Chris turned red in embarrassment, and looked as if he was about to deny until Zach cut in, "Don't bother denying, Chris! I can be a witness!"

"Yeah, so? Nothing wrong with liking them, is there?" came the challenge.

"What are you guys talking about?" I asked. They turned to face me, surprised that I had sneaked up on them. Of course, when they argued, a whole herd of elephants, playing the drums and cymbals, could have sneaked up on them. Chris opened his mouth to reply when he caught sight of the ice-cream on his plate. Or more precisely, his lack of it.

"Buttons!" came three exasperated groans. The culprit only giggled and dug in.

"You should be grateful I stopped him when I did or you wouldn't have anything left at all," I told them dryly. "Now, what were you arguing about?"

"Oh, Jer thought he saw the members of this group called N'Sync here," Chris said nonchalantly.

"I did see them!" came Jer's heated reply.

"Yeah, sure!" Chris scoffed.

"OK, enough, enough! Jer, which table?" I asked. Chris stared at me incredulously. "You don't mean you believe him?"

"Why not?" I replied. "Which table, Jer?" He gleefully pointed to a table just a bit off to the right. I looked around and realized that I had no idea how this N'Sync looked like. I was about to tell Jer that when I did catch sight of someone rather familiar walking towards my table. I stood up, half-ignoring Jer's whispered, "It's him!", and Chris's choked hisses of "Allie!" Rather, I focused on the young man walking assuredly towards me, a smile on his lips, eyes twinkling, hands in his pockets.

He stopped just a bit away, close enough that I could touch him. "Hello, Allie! Fancy seeing you here!"

I smiled. How could I do anything else? "Hi, JC!"

For once, all my brothers were silent. I saw JC glancing past me at them. "Who're all these young men?" he asked, gesturing in their direction.

"JC, meet my brothers," I said, my arms around all four of them. "This is Chad, or Buttons as we call him. He's twelve. Jer over there is fifteen. And the twins, Chris and Zach, are sixteen," I introduced, indicating each in turn. "And, guys, this is JC."

"No shit!" someone muttered. I watched JC introduce himself, first to Buttons, who shook his hand solemnly before asking JC whether he wanted any ice-cream with all the grace of a host. JC's lips twitched but he managed to keep his face straight as he declined gracefully. Chris, unlike himself, was rather bashful though Zach made up for him by chatting with JC. Jer, on the other hand, shyly shook JC's hand and hid behind me.

JC turned towards me. "Look, you've introduced me to your family. How about I introduce you to my friends? We're just over there. If you want, we could always just push the two tables together?" I dithered a bit, I guess, but with Jer pleading, and JC's persuasion, we managed to hook it up together. When he introduced his friends to us, I thought that Jer would run back home but he managed to be friendly enough though he still looked rather awe-struck. For that matter, I wondered if JC was in N'Sync. Maybe all of them were? Justin was rather nice and Lance was unfailingly courteous. I thought that the other Chris and Joey were just crazy. It was confusing when my Chris met JC's Chris until we started referring to Chris by his full name, Christian. Zach and Chris struck up a conversation with Joey and the other Chris while Justin and Lance were fending off the star-struck Jer. Buttons sat in my lap, nearly drowsy with all that he had eaten. JC sat next to me, watching me as I rocked Buttons gently, softly humming a lullaby. JC was only a hand away from me, having moved his chair close to mine. I glanced at him as he stared at me, and there was that something in his gaze again that made me uneasy. I turned back, pressing my lips to Buttons' forehead, brushing away an errant lock of blond hair. He murmured in his sleep, stirred in my arms, and then, was still again.

"You really love him, don't you?" JC's voice so close to my ear came as a shock to me. I turned to look at him, and found those disconcerting blue eyes on me. I quickly turned away, trying desperately to remember his question.

"Of course. I love all my brothers." I looked at JC. "Why do you ask?"

He smiled and shook his head. "No, it's just that you seem to care more for them than any brother I've ever seen. Even Justin isn't this way with his younger brother." He fixed those eyes on me again.

I looked around to see if anyone was listening. I really didn't want anyone to hear this. "Well," I began, a little unsure. "My parents passed away when I was really young, about ten years ago, in a car crash."

JC placed his hand on mine, squeezing gently. "I'm sorry. You don't have to go on if you don't want to."

"No, I do." I looked in his eyes. "I think it might be better for me." I paused. "Well, where was I? Oh yeah. When my parents passed away, Chris and Zach were only six, Jer was five and Buttons was three. I won't bore you with what happened but I ended up being both mother and father, as well as older brother, to all four of them."

JC smiled tenderly. "It must have been hard for you. You really are something."

I blushed. "Hard? Not really. My brothers are reward enough for everything else I've had to do. They're my life." I felt strange, confessing to someone I hardly knew. I expected -- I don't know! -- condescension, pity maybe, but when I looked at JC, all I saw was admiration and respect. That just flustered me, confused me. I was silent for a while then realized that my break was almost over. I glanced at JC who was staring at Buttons, a smile on his face.

"JC?" I asked.

"Yeah?" He looked up at me.

"I've gotta go and sing. Would you mind holding Buttons for me?" I glanced at Nick who was gesturing to me.

"No problem." He paused. "Just asking, why do you call him Buttons?"

I laughed. "I don't know! My dad used to call him Buttons when he was still alive, and I guess I just stuck to it!"

JC smiled. "One more thing. Just wanna tell you that you sang beautifully. You were incredible!"

I laughed again though it was more embarrassing than funny. "Flattery will get you nowhere, my dear!" I turned to walk away, glancing back at times. JC waved to me, his arms comfortably supporting Buttons, and I turned away. I hugged myself, half-confused and half-something else. I felt so elated that JC though so highly of me but another part of me was scared that I didn't really measure up, that JC was just being nice. And JC . . . I paused in my recollection to contemplate as I got backstage. He was quickly becoming a friend, something that I've never had in my life. At least, not close friends. The only close friends I ever had were my brothers. But, now, a new friend. I wanted so much to be friends with him, to just enjoy his companionship like any other normal person. Yet, I still felt uneasy when I looked into those eyes, when I knew that he was studying me, when I knew how close he was. Maybe, I just had been too alone for so many years. Maybe . . . .

The curtains parted, and the applause swelled again. I thought I saw JC smile at me from our table and that made me feel more nervous than I ever was. I tried to concentrate and walked up to the mike. The applause died down. "Thank you, ladies and gentlemen. I thank all of you for waiting so patiently, and I would like to thank the Sterlings for filling all that silence with their music. Come on, ladies and gentlemen, give them a big hand." The band was surprised but all of them stood up and bowed as the audience applauded loudly, some whistling. It would seem that they were as popular as I was. Speaking into the mike again, I said, "Thank you, guys, for backing up all my songs." Again, applause. I waited for it to died own and when it did, I sat down on my stool once more, legs crossed at my ankles, adjusting the mike. "Well, I guess all of you know I'm a huge fan of the Carpenters, right? So bear with me while I sing another Carpenter song. This one is called 'Little Girl Blue.' Hope you like it."

I waited for a moment, just humming for the background as the guys started up the music. "Sit there and count your fingers . . . What can you do . . . Old girl, you're through . . Just sit there and count your little fingers . . . Unlucky little girl blue . . ."

"Sit there and count the raindrops . . . Falling on you . . . It's time you knew . . . All you can count on is the raindrops . . . Unlucky little girl blue . . ." It was a song of sorrow, songs that it seemed I usually ended up singing, and I tired to express it. A light sorrow that touched the hearts of all who heard it, a sorrow that made you want to cry but not until you actually did.

"No use, old girl . . . You may as well surrender . . . Your hope is getting slender . . . Why won't somebody send her . . . A tender, blue boy . . . To cheer up little girl blue . . ."

"When I was very young . . . The world was younger than I . . . As merry as a carousel . . . The circus tent was strung with every star in the sky . . . Above the ring I loves so well . . . But the young world has grown old . . . Gone are the tinsel and gold . . ."

"No use, old girl . . . You may as well surrender . . . Your hope is getting slender . . . Why won't somebody send her . . . A tender, blue boy . . . To cheer up little girl blue . . ."

When I finished, there was silence, a silence that was quickly displaced by the applause of the audience. I flushed under the lime-light, happy that my songs were so well-received with everyone. This was just so fantastic! I spun out a few more songs, from "Copa Cabana" to "Mona Lisa" and a few more -- just oldies, or songs that I just felt like singing. Before I realized it, it was close to midnight, though the "Wharf" was still full of customers, still drinking and dining the night away. I glanced over at my table to see JC still cradling Buttons in his arms, and a very bemused Justin holding a sleeping Jared in his embrace. Chris and Zach were still awake but already yawning, and I took that as a signal to close for the night.

"Well, ladies and gentlemen, it's almost a new day so I'm going to take my leave quite soon." There were groans at this filled with cries of "Sing on! Sing on!". I laughed softly. "I'm flattered! Really, I am! But, I have to go. One more song before I go, ladies and gentlemen, but I hope that you'll be here tomorrow as well. So, goodnight folks! And the last song is another Carpenters' hit. You know it as well as I do, I think. So, sing along when you can. It's called 'Say Good-bye to Love'. Goodnight, folks, and have a happy time."

I could hear Nick softly strumming the opening piece, quietly picking out the chords for me. I waited for the right moment, that pause in the melody, and then softly hummed before singing, "I'll say good-bye to love . . . No one'd ever care if I should live or die . . . Time and time again the chance for love has passed me by . . . And all I know of love is how to live without it . . . I just can't seem to find it . . . So I've made my mind up I must live my life alone . . . I know it's not the easy way . . . I guess I've always know . . . I'd say good-bye to love . . . There are no tomorrows for this heart of mine . . . Surely time would lose these bitter memories . . . And I'll find that there is someone to believe in and to live for . . . Something I could live for . . . "

"All the years of useless search have finally reached an end . . . Loneliness and empty days will be my only friend . . . From the day love is forgotten . . . I'll go on as best as I can . . ."

Using the time between, I paused to catch my breath, sometimes backing up Nick's strings. This was one of my favorites, I guess, and in between the lines, I had to suppress the urge to weep. I could still remember Dad singing this to Mom during one of their wedding anniversaries, a song that would always make her cry when he finished with "No more, my dear. I think I see that I was wrong". It always made me wonder why she cried until I knew the lyrics of the song by heart.

"What lies in the future is a mystery to us all . . . No one can predict the wheel of fortune as it falls . . . There may come a time when I will see that I've been wrong . . . But for now, this is my song . . . I'll say good-bye to love . . . I'll say good-bye to love . . ." I waited for the end chords and, quietly, I whispered to no one, I guess, or maybe to my parents, "Mom and Dad, I miss you so much . . ." When the claps came, I bowed deeply with the Sterlings following my lead, before leaving the stage, heading towards the guys.

JC saw me first, his face lighting up with a smile, almost mysterious, as he looked at me. He didn't stand but I guess that was b'cos Buttons was still in his arms. "Thanks," I whispered to JC. "No problem," he whispered back to me. Justin still looked bemused as he stared at Jer in his arms; Lance bent towards him to whisper something that caused Justin to grin. He chuckled as he looked at Jer again. Chris and Zach were looking sleepily at me, and I nodded to them to get up. I walked over to Justin, asking him to pass Jer to me, which he did, gently slipping Jer into my arms -- so smoothly that Jer hardly stirred. It had been ages since I carried Jer and I noticed how much heavier he was. I thanked Justin quietly and he responded much like JC had. I was about to ask either Chris or Zach to take Buttons when JC said to me, "Where's your place? I'll carry Buttons for you."

I glanced dubiously at him. "Are you sure? I don't want to trouble you -- Zach can always carry Buttons."

"No, I insist." His jaw was set stubbornly and I could see how much trouble it would be just to talk him out of it. So, I agreed, albeit reluctantly. "Fine. Just follow me. It's not really that far. Just a bit up the street and then a floor up." JC nodded and I turned around to thank the guys. They were pretty nice and Justin seemed to really like Jer b'cos he asked whether Jer would want to tag along to their recording studio sometime in the future. I knew what Jer would say so I thanked him for the opportunity. In fact, the invitation was open to all of us but I only accepted for the guys. I don't think I would have found it that much fun. I asked Laura to put the group's bill on my account but she assured me that it was on the house, courtesy of Leo. The group protested at the treatment but knowing Leo, I told them to forget about it. JC arranged with his friends to meet at their car and he followed us towards the apartment.

The walk was fairly quiet with Chris and Zach leading the way since they weren't weighed down by the load of two young boys. JC was content to keep quiet and I was happy with that silence. By the time we reached the base of our apartment, the twins had already raced upstairs to open the doors for us. I led JC up the stairs to our door where I first placed Jer in his bed. I tucked him in while JC simply watched. Then, gesturing to JC, I led him to Buttons' room where we laid him down. Quietly, we walked out, shutting the door. The twins were already getting ready for bed and after saying goodnight to both JC and I, I tucked them in, despite their protests. I kissed them both on their forehead before leaving them. I looked around for JC and saw him at the balcony, hands on the railing, looking out at the street below.

"What are you looking at?" Evidently, I had surprised him as he jerked his head to look at me. I walked over to him before leaning against the railing as well, facing him. A breeze was blowing, tugging at his dark locks of hair.

"Nothing, I guess. I was just thinking." JC turned to look at me, the faintest smile hovering on his lips. "Really? About what?" I turned around to look at anything else but him.

"You, mostly." I spun to face him at that. What was he saying? He saw my face and he quickly said, "I mean, you're so young, yet, you managed to do all this. Like I said earlier, I'm fairly impressed."

I bit my lip. How much should I really tell him? It was obvious that he wanted to ask me more but common courtesy just forbade it. Still . . . "You want me to tell you more?"

He nodded slowly, after hesitating. I licked my lips. This was just strange, I guess, and I spoke rather self-consciously. "Well, I told you about my parents. The thing is, after they died, they left some money to us -- quite a bit, in fact. Our Aunt Lizzie was the executor of our estate and she arranged for us to move in with her." I paused, wondering if he would understand what I did next. Slowly, I continued, "But, I refused at first, asking her if she would help us live by ourselves. I don't quite know why I did that except Aunt Lizzie already had her own family to take care of, and it would be just a burden to her. So, she helped us buy this apartment, using part of our inheritance and the money she received from selling the house. She registered the guys in school while I looked around for a job to just help out. In between working and taking care of the guys, I learnt enough to help them in their studies by going to this special course. So, as soon as I could, I looked for jobs, moving from one to the next until Leo found me, I guess." I smiled, remembering what had happened next. "He found me, singing to myself, and he approached me, asking if I needed a job. When I accepted, he took me to sing in his restaurant, and I guess I was successful enough that he increased my pay to about nearly seven dollars an hour. Now, it's close to fifteen dollars an hour, and I get free drinks, free food, you name it. But, his business has just been profiting, you know, and he's already expanded twice." I looked at JC, smiling a little. "So, how do you like my life story?" JC simply looked at me, the strangest expression on his face. "What?"

Quietly, he replied, "Every time I think I should be awed by you, something comes up that makes me more awed and surprised." His eyes burned into mine and I had to lower my gaze before he could read what I was thinking. I could feel almost a tension between the two of us, partly, I felt from the things that I had confessed to him. "It isn't that incredible, you know. I just did what I could." I didn't dare look at him.

He laughed and I looked at him. It was a purely delighted laugh, full of joy and cheer, that I found myself laughing back. Wiping tears of laughter from his eyes, JC told me solemnly, "You are much too modest, Allie."

I smiled at him, happy that the tension had dissipated away. He stared down at the street again, still smiling away, and I found an urge to ask him a question that I had wondered about. "JC, what does your initials stand for?"

He looked at me. "You do want to know, don't you?" I nodded. "Well, my full name is Joshua Scott Chasez, but it used to be simply Joshua Chasez --"

"Which makes up the initials JC, right?" I finished for him. "Yeah, pretty much."

"Doesn't that mean I should actually call you Josh?" I teased.

"No way! I hate that name!" he told me vehemently. I only laughed. "But Josh suits you so much!" The expression on his face made me double up in laughter.

We were silent then. It felt good just to stand there with him, not really talking but not doing anything else either. I was happy and I thought I'd never feel any sorrow again. Yet, here JC was in my house and I was just being the most terrible host. "JC? Do you want something to drink?"

"Nah," he declined, eyes still on the street. Suddenly, there was honking down below and a voice drifted up, "JC, get your ass down here!" It was the guys, all in a Jeep, waving their arms. "Sorry, gotta run!" he told me, eyes dancing. As he turned to leave, he paused while slinging on his leather jacket. "Maybe, I'll see you in the church sometime?" he asked hopefully. "Not tomorrow. I'll be busy. Maybe, you wanna come for lunch? You can ask the others." I looked at him. He smiled and nodded, "Sure!" before hurrying down the stairs, yelling "Bye!"

I moved out to the balcony, watching him enter the Jeep, talking to the others. He looked up and saw me. I waved to him and he waved back. Justin and the others mimicked him, some calling out, "Bye!" to me. Lance was driving, and he revved the Jeep, zooming up the street. I watched them leave before I was content to move away.

Before I decided to go to sleep, I decided to check in on the rest. The twins were already fast asleep as was Buttons. As I moved silently into Jer's room, I could see that he was asleep. I was about to turn away when a sleepy voice called out "Allie?"

I settled down next to him, stroking his hair. "Yeah?" He half-opened his eyes, yawning as he looked at me. "I had fun today. How come you never told us that you knew JC from N'Sync?"

"I never knew, Jer. I just met him today at the church. I had no idea he belonged to some band or whatever." Jer smiled at me. "You are so clueless, Allie," he told me with a laugh. He hesitated for a moment before asking, "Allie, can you sing to me like Mom used to do?"

I smiled gently at him. "Sure." I hummed wordlessly for a moment, like Mom used to do for all of us, before softly singing "Feed the Birds", an old favorite of Mom's. I looked down at Jer and was surprised to see his eyes welling with tears, like liquid emeralds. "Jer, what's wrong?"

"I can't remember them much anymore," he whispered to me heart-brokenly. "I think I'm forgetting them and it hurts, Allie! How could I?" He turned away, pressing is face into the pillow.

"Oh, Jer," I murmured, my heart aching with his pain. "Don't cry, please. You were only five when they left so it's no wonder that this is happening. Even I tend to forget at times. Time does that to memories, Jer -- and we can't stop it." He was still sobbing gently to himself but at least, he seemed quieter. I pressed my body on top of his, clutching his shoulders and squeezing gently. "But, there are some things which I think we won't ever forget. For me, it was Mom singing to us at night, remember? And Dad would always brush our tears away when we got any scrapes or bruises. Do you remember that?" Jer looked up at me, unsurely, then nodded ever so slightly. "See? Those little things I don't think we could ever forget at all. As for memories of how Mom and Dad looked, I still have many photos of them. Do you want me to frame one for you?" Jer nodded again, no longer crying. I brushed the rest of his tears away and told him, as gently as I could, "Now, go to sleep. Get some rest, OK?" He nodded once more. I kissed him on the cheek and moved away to his door. "Allie?" I paused, turned around and looked at him. "Yeah?"

"Thanks," he said," for being the best brother I ever had." He smiled at me, his eyes still bloodshot. "You guys have always been reward enough for me. Now, go back to sleep." I heard a murmured assent, already blurred by sleep, and I closed the door behind me.

I went to my room, into the toilet, where I brushed my teeth after changing into PJs. As I washed my face, I stared into my reflection. Mom's eyes seemed to stare out at me, a deep violet that glimmered under the light, framed by long, golden eyelashes that blinked at myself. I considered my looks. I looked good, I knew that, with high cheek-bones, a narrow chin, and a fine nose. My eyes were large, and my ears were normal, I guess. Golden hair hung to straight shoulders that were broad enough without being too broad. I wondered who I resembled more now -- Mom or Dad? I was inclined to believe that it was a mix of the two together. Once done with brushing, I turned off the lights in the toilet, and hopped into bed, pulling the sheets around me. I lay awake for a while, just thinking. Mostly about JC. He was very nice and I really liked him. So, why did I feel so uneasy about him, as if he was dangerous to me? I pictured him, as he had been today, sun shining on those dark locks of his, cut short without being too short and just a fraction from being just a bit long; those blue eyes that twinkled, tinged with green; that sweet mouth, so inclined to twist into a smile or laugh aloud with glee; that nose, almost pointing the way, so straight and so fine. Still smiling, I waited for sleep to overcome me . . . .

JC smiled, still remembering Allie's quick laughter, the way his golden hair had spun in the gentle breeze on the balcony. It was so bewitching to see such a young man, still happy, still joyful, even through all the hard times he had faced.

"JC? Hello? Earth to JC, come in! Hey, snap out of it!"

JC blinked. "Huh? What happened?" He looked around. Justin was looking at him mischievously, grinning as though at a joke. "You were out cold, bro, and I was just wondering what -- or maybe who -- you were dreaming about with that smile on your face. Spill the beans, mister, what's going on?"

Chris cracked open an eye at the noise before closing it again, grumbling about the people he had to put up with. JC glanced at the others. Lance was too bust listening to the music and driving while Joey was out cold. Only Justin still looked as hyper as he always was normally. "I was thinking about Allie. Wait till he tells you about his life! He's one cool guy and I was just so impressed with him." Quickly, he related the story that Allie had told him. In the end, Justin whistled through his teeth in surprise. "You're right, JC. He is one awesome dude!" He paused for a moment as something occurred to him. "Hey, did you talk to him about what we discussed?"

JC shook his head. "No right time to ask him."

"Oh, well, maybe next time."

"Which reminds me. Allie invited us to lunch at his place," JC told Justin. "You wanna come?" Justin yawned. "Maybe. We'll have to see first."

JC paused to think for a moment. "Did you like his brothers?"

Lance piped up. "I thought Chris and Zach were pretty OK. You could tell that Zach wasn't really interested while Chris was a fan. Sheesh! They look so alike yet they're pretty different!"

"I liked Jer. He's pretty sweet. I think he's one of our major fans. He was a bit awed at the beginning but in the end, I thought he was pretty cool." Justin looked at JC. "How do you like the youngest? Buttons, was it?"

JC laughed. "Yeah. His real name is supposed to be Chad but Allie told me their dad used to call him Buttons all the time, so they just followed. I like the kid. He's pretty cute. He reminds me a lot of Jonny, but without all the hyper-activeness!"

Justin laughed along. "Maybe! I thought the kid was pretty OK!"

"What about Allie?" Lance asked suddenly.

Well," Justin began slowly, "his voice is incredible, I'll give you that and he's a really nice person but I was just a bit suspicious of him when you told me about him, JC. I mean, he could have just been a gold-digger." JC looked as if he was about to protest but Justin lifted a hand to stop him. "Wait, I said that's what I thought. After meeting him, I realized that he's just a fairly innocent kid. Very nice."

"Kid!" Lance snorted. "May I remind you, Justin Randall Timberlake, that that kid is only a few months younger than you, I think!"

"Whatever!" Justin shrugged.

JC simply pursed his lips and kept quiet. He was looking forward to the next day.