I know I haven't been writing long but, I'm sick of these disclaimer things. But ya gotta do what cha gotta do. As always I don't know anyone in this story, unfortunately. I don't know anyone in this story's sexual preference. Oh well. And if you are under 18 and/or this type of stuff is no-no in your area go away or just don't get caught. And as ALWAYS don't steal my stuff. Well that wasn't too painful.
Now the good stuff...
So Done By Pandora
We don't have anything scheduled for today. No rehearsals, no interviews, no photo shoots, nothing. Thank God. So I intend to stay in bed all day and do what I've wanted to do for days. Wallow and feel sorry for myself. I even locked my door so, even with a key, no one can get in. I am so not in the mood to deal with anyone today. The covers are pulled up over my head, blocking out the damned sun, and I'm contemplating whether or not I should unplug the phone from the wall as well. But this bed is warm and cozy and I really don't feel like moving right now. I just want to lay here. The alcohol from the other night is still on the table, I could drink that, after I drag my lazy ass out of bed. So I'll just spend the day getting drunk and forgetting about the fight I had with Justin and Wade...
'Ring! Ring!' Damn phone, should've unplugged it earlier. Should I even answer it? Its probably one of the guys wanting to know why the hell I hit Justin, or its Justin calling to ask why the hell I hit him. But it could be my mama, or my sister, and even though I really don't want to talk to them either, I'll answer the damn thing, at least that'll make it shut up.
"Hello?" I grumble into the receiver, trying to make it sound like I just woke up.
"Lance? You sleeping?" Britney. I guess she might want to know why I hit Justin too. I can imagine her walking into their room and finding the little diva prince sitting in the corner pouting. And she'd ask, what's wrong, and he'd say, Lance hit me, and he'd pout even more to make me look like the bad guy.
"No Brit, just don't feel much like talking. What's up?" At this point in time she's the only person I think I can stand talking to. But I feel that questions coming.
"You hit Justin?" See, I knew it.
"Yeah. I hit Justin."
"Why?"
"Because the little piss head deserved to be hit." I don't really feel like telling Britney why he deserved it. I don't feel like having to explain why he called me a 'little whore.'
I hear her laugh on the other end of the line, that's the last thing I expected her to do, laugh. "You did quite a number on him Lance. He's got on hell of a shiner."
"I only hit him once. I didn't think I hit him that hard." I say to no one particular.
"You should see it Lance!" She sounds like she's happy I hit him.
"I suppose he told you all about it." I sigh.
"No, actually, when I got back with Joey, JC, and Chris, he wouldn't tell any of us what happened. We found him in our room, just sitting there staring at the wall. When we asked him who hit him he just got up and crawled into bed and wouldn't talk to anyone. And I swear I heard him crying last night but I wasn't sure." He was crying? Because I hit him? No way. Not Justin Timberlake, not THE Almighty Wonderful Beautiful Pop Prince himself Justin Timberlake. "We just assumed since you were the only one here last night, you must've hit him."
"Oh..." I say softly. I don't know what to think.
"He's still in bed, he's awake, but he's still in bed. I'm in Joe's room. Why don't you..." I hear some rustling in the background I someone say 'give me the phone.'
"Lance, unlock your damn door. I'm coming down to talk to you." Joey tells me and then hangs up. Goody. I get to talk to big bubby Jojo. I slam the phone down. I'm NOT in the mood for this.
So I got up, unlocked the 'damn door' and crawled back into bed. I heard Joey come in but I didn't want to move. So I just stayed there. Until he yanked the covers off me. Damn him.
So now we're sitting across from one another on the bed, just staring each other down. He better say something, soon, or I'll kick his ass out. Hell I might even go crawl in bed with Justin and go back to sleep, maybe Wade's still in bed.
He laughs suddenly and it makes me jump. "Oh man! You got Justin good! You should see his face!"
I sigh "Joe I didn't hit him that hard. I mean sure I knocked him off the bar stool, but I didn't hit him THAT hard."
He taps my right hand which I've balled up into a fist "Looks like you did hit him pretty hard."
I look at my fist and realize there's a faint bruise across my knuckles where my hand connected with Justin's face. It doesn't hurt but the mark makes me feel bad about hitting him. Before I didn't really care, but now I feel bad. I push myself off the bed, "I've got to go talk to him," I mutter
Joey's smile drops from his face, "Why? Why do you 'got to go talk to him.' Lance, he deserved to be punched! Hell, You should have punched him a long ass time ago! Don't do it."
I'm not listening to him, I'm just tugging on a pair of jeans and heading for the door. I know he's getting off the bed and coming after me, "Joe, I've at least got to tell him I'm sorry for hitting him." I say, my hand resting on the knob.
"Well, at least put your shirt on." He sounds like my mother when he says that.
I turn and smile at him, "No" And with that I walk out the door, set on Justin's room.
I pass Britney in the hall and ask her for the key to their room and then tell her no I don't want her to come with me. I've got to talk to Justin alone. Joey just shakes his head at me and heads back to his own room. When I walk into Justin's hotel room, its almost like nighttime. I can see that he did get up to toss a blanket over the closed curtains to block out any light that might sneak its way in. I should have thought of that. It takes my eyes a moment to get used to the darkness, but as they adjust, I can make out the outline of Justin's body curled into a ball in the middle of the bed, blankets pulled up over his head.
"Go away Britney! I don't want to talk." His voice is muffled by the blankets but I can hear a touch of sadness in his voice. He sounds like he really has been crying.
I just stand against the wall, staring at his form curled in fetal position on the bed. He looks like a little child lost and alone without their mommy or daddy. I want to take him in my arms and sooth his pain and tell him I felt nothing with Wade, nothing like what I feel with him. I want to hold him and tell him I'm sorry, so so sorry, for everything.
"Didn't you hear me Britney?" He sits straight up in the bed, "I said get..." He trails off and looks at me.
I can't see him in the darkness very well, but I can make out his silhouette. I can tell he's looking right at me. Leaning over he flicks on the bedside lamp and squints at the sudden brightness. "Lance?"
I don't say anything, I CAN'T say anything. I can't move. I'm almost afraid he might run at me or try to hit me. With the light on I can see his face, I can see the dark almost purplish mark circling his right eye. It looks like it really hurts. God, I DID hit him hard.
But he doesn't run at me, he gently touches the shiner I gave him and looks down at the sheets. He chuckles sadly. "You hit me pretty hard. I didn't know you had such a good arm." His voice is low and sounds scared, like he's afraid I might hit him again.
"I'm sorry about that Justin." I say softly.
"Don't be." He looks back up at me "I shouldn't have called you a whore. I shouldn't have said anything. I shouldn't have hurt you Lance." He hangs his head again, "I'm the one who should be saying sorry." He glances up at me, "I'm sorry Lance."
Those sad puppy dog eyes could melt ice. God I feel even worse now. I feel like shit. "Its ok Justin."
He looks up at me again, "You really forgive me Lance?" He could have started World War III, but as long as he gives me THOSE eyes, I'd still forgive him.
I nod. His eyes seem to light up. He springs up out of the bed and rushes to me. Pulling me into a tight embrace he tells me, "I was so afraid I'd lost you. For good, forever. God I was so afraid..." He looks into my eyes "I was so afraid I'd lost you to Wade."
"No, Justin, you can't lose me. You're one of my best friends, remember?" I smile at him.
"I was afraid you'd get with Wade and you'd never let me touch you or hold you again. I thought we'd never..." He trails off, stopping with 'we'd never.' So, I was right all along. He was afraid if I got with someone else I wouldn't fuck him anymore. I wouldn't let him in my pants. I didn't want to believe it, I didn't want to believe I was just his little plaything. I didn't want that. As he leans down to kiss me, his lips brush mine, but I pull my head away. "Lance, baby..."
I remember the other morning, him holding Britney in his arms telling her that he loved her and calling her baby. "You were afraid if I got with Wade you couldn't fuck me anymore, huh Justin?" I repeat the thought that just ran through my head moments ago.
"Baby..." He starts
I push myself out of his arms. "Baby?" I say, glaring at him. "BABY? Justin, I'm NOT your baby. Britney's your baby. I'm just your little plaything." I growl at him. He gives me those eyes again. "I'm sick of this! I've told you a million times I'm SICK TO DEATH of being hurt by you."
He shakes his head rapidly, "No, NO Lance, I never wanted..."
"You never WANTED to, but you did. You DID Justin!" I throw up my hands. "I've had enough. I should have listened to Joey and I shouldn't have come here. I knew you'd..." I'm gonna hit him again if I don't leave now. So for both our sakes, I turn and storm out the door, paying no attention to his cries for me to come back. Something inside me tells me I shouldn't be so mad, that I should have let him kiss me, I should have let him hold me. But I'm SO done with this, with HIM.
As I walk out into the hall I pretend I can't hear him crying for me still. And I realize that it wasn't just any something telling me to stay in his arms, it was my heart. But since when do I listen to my heart?
____________________________________________________________________________ I know, I know, I know. Its short! Sorry, I'm lazy! And as I was writing this I was attempting to write a paper I have due on monday for one of my classes. Yeah ok so I've known about the assignment for about two weeks but I procrastinate. SUE ME! Anywho, the story is almost done, there's maybe one or two maybe three chapters left. I haven't made up my mind yet. But I do have another story in the works. Yeah its still rolling around inside my head but at least its up there. I'll get it on paper, some day, I hope. Well, anyway, I almost had Lance hit Justin again, because well, I saw another Nsync show where Justin did something else to piss me off. Sorry Justin lovers, he just seems like he's be a little bit of a bitch. And what's up with all the songs they're making singles being written by Justin? I mean, 'Up against the Wall' and 'The Two of us' are Kick Ass songs. JC wrote those. Make those into Videos! Those would ROCK! Sorry, I'm wasting your time. I just felt like ranting about something. :) As always, I love feedback from you beautiful people! Sweet_Music5@hotmail.com
Love Alwayz Pandora ;)